Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


ONE WRONG TURN
Episode 34

As the taxi approached my gate,
my phone rang. It was Ruth. I
answered as quickly as my fingers
could move.
“have you gotten home?” She
asked, without a good morning
wish.
She sounded a little anxious and
worried.
“just getting to my gate” i replied.
“be strong o, nor fear, they
searched for you throughout the
night, ” she said reassuringly
Surprisingly though, i really felt
no fear. My heart was stone cold, i
felt i could face anything my
parents threw at me.
The taxi finally parked in front of
my house. My mum was standing
right outside the gate, looking
anxiously at the taxi and probably
wishing i was the one coming.
As soon as i alighted, she rushed
towards me, while i was handing
the cab driver his money.
“Ella, where did you go? Where
did you sleep, we searched for you
throughout the night. ” my mum
queried as she grabbed hold of
my hand, trying to pull me close
to herself.
I felt a little embarrassed, the taxi
man seemed more interested in
our family affairs than his money.
Why this sudden show of
affection? Were they not the ones
that chased me out yesterday?, I
thought to myself.
I kept my face as bold and
expressionless as possible, despite
my mum’s public display of
affection.
My mum lead me inside the
compound, and walked me into
the sitting room.
As i entered, Ighalo rushed foward
to embrace me.
“Jesus thank you” he whispered
into my ear.
“where did you go? We couldn’t
sleep ” he continued, with an
expression of relief on his face.
I had not replied anyone, i kept
my calm, knowing that the real
question and answer session
would soon commence.
My mum sat down, repeatedly
doing the sign of the cross, and
mumbling some unintelligible
words.
She picked up her phone, and
called my dad.
“she has come o” she said, and
Droped the call.
I headed straight to my room, and
fell on my bed. I brought out my
phone again and pinged Ruth and
Hannah to inform them that i was
home.
Ruth replied, telling me to stick to
the story, and never admit i did
anything wrong the previous. That
was already what i planned to do
anyway.
We continued with our chat, they
were both eager to hear the
events of the previous night.
I shared my ordeal, or should i
say excapades with them. They
seemed much fascinated by the
“fun” i had.
I mentioned to Hannah that Ehis
and i had unprotected s-x.
“are you crazy? How could you do
that, do you want to get
pregnant?” She asked, with an
angry smiley in front of the texts
“i didn’t even know, it just
happened” i replied.
The very thought of getting
pregnant fell on me like a cold
shower in winter. I couldn’t
imagine what my parents would
do to me.
“remind me to give you
something later g2g” she replied.
I had no idea what it was, but i
knew Hannah was an expert in
these issues. She could sneak in
and out of her house to attend
night parties without being
caught.
My door flew open, to my greatest
surprise. Ighalo entered, while i
was still typing with my phone.
I thought i locked the door when
i came in. He had seen my phone
already, there was no use hiding
it.
“Where did you sleep last night”?
He asked, sitting on my bed.
“Hannah’s house” i replied.


>>

When We Were Kids...

1. The fat kid was always the goalkeeper

2. The owner of the ball decides who plays.

3. Penalties were awarded only if injured player curses a lot.

4. The match only ends when everyone is tired.

5. No matter how many goals you score, the winner will be determined by the last team to score.

6. No referees and linesmen. You could run with the ball even behind the goal post.

7. If you don't participate in repairing the ball, you will be given a match ban.

8. If you're picked last, you're a loser.

9. The guy who's never picked was to fetch the ball from the tree when it got stuck, under the car or in another person's compound to play in the next game.

10. When the owner of the ball gets annoyed, game over!

11. You were allowed to change a goalkeeper in case of a penalty.

12. The most skillful player get an automatic selection.

True or false?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-09 09:56:10

469 Views




Teacher: Akpos, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Akpos: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Akpos: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell!
Teacher: Who taught you that?
Akpos: its my father!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-26 17:57:28

558 Views



?????? : …. [Read it]


?????? : ????? ???? ??? ???? ??

?? ????? ?? ???? ???? ??? ??????


?????? – ???????? ???? ????
????????????????????Related

JOKE PART 31 BY DINDY
Girl: Hello Dindy.
Dindy: Yes dear.
Girl: what's your real name?.
Dindy: Nnamdi.
Girl: Nice name.
Dindy: Thanks.
Girl: What does it mean?.
Dindy: It means "my father is around".
Girl: [laughs out loud] what a funny name.
Dindy: What's that your name again?.
Girl: Lickafina.
Dindy: [Laughs out very loud] Ashewo's (whore's) name...........lol.
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 32.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-23 17:12:55

205 Views




I don't want to experience
that rubbish
again,its not a good thing,it can lead to
high blood pressure,
I no fit allow woman
matter to kill me,
its better to play games
with them because its really full of fun..
I called francisca that morning and told
her I will be taking her out on valentine's
day,it is a lover's day you know,I will like
to spend that day with you..and you are free
to invite your friends also,because I think it
will be funnier,...I told her...she agree to
invite her friends and she was really very happy
that am taking her out on the Val's day,I swear
this girl can kill her self if she knows what my
plans are,I just hope I don't get exposed...
I work really hard in my mother's shop
that day,I hustle very tight and make sure
I am with enough cash to display during
my outing with all my four girls...I called Olamide later in the evening and told him about
My plan for francisca,I told him I would enter
one of the girls during our outing,so I told him
He should come with me with one of his babes.
Olamide gave me a scope,he told me to add
this thing they called codeine into their drinks
to make them to be intoxicated..Chai!!! This
Guy no nice o,I think this will make my plans
to be easy,even if I want to sex them all I will
be able to do so,because this thing is very
alcoholic,it makes people to completely
loose their sense...
I was really happy that my plan will be
smooth,I appreciate olamide very much...A day
to val's day,I called Francisca and told her I
want to take her to a boutique,you people know
now,val's day also got its own uniform,as we are
to wear RED and WHITE on this memorial day,
so I and francisca went to the boutique on
A day to the D-DAY,we bought a lot of things,
everything with red and white colour,she is so
happy, I was really treating this girl really
well,and I wanted to play her,do you think
sleeping with her friends will be enough??,
should I continue spending for this girl??,well
I think I should continue this way,it will at
least boost her love for me,I also thought this
Will disallow her from knowing anything about
my plan...
After finishing my shopping with
Francisca that day,later in the evening
I and her friends talk though its separately
on whatsapp,I ask them if they will
be coming, they already agreed to come
with Francisca,so I was so happy that day,
I make sure my codeine is ready....
I couldn't sleep that night..all I was thinking
about is how I am gonna rock this girls,
and after thinking for many hours I
Finally fall asleep,I woke up the next day,which
is friday 14th feb 2014,the lovers day,I was
so happy to see this day,after I took my bath
and told my mum I was going to my friend's
house to study throughout the day so that I
will escape staying in the supermarket,she
allowed me and I went straight to Olamide's
house to get prepared,I already put on
my red TOP and white trouser with my Red
and white shoe,I was also putting on a white
Shade...ohh I was thinking in my mind
that I will rock this night..

>>

Kanjoos(Miser) lawyer working in UK wrote to his wife in India .Dear Sunita Darling,I can’t send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected my Company’s performance, so I am sending 100 kisses.You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation.Your loving husband,TunaHis wife replied..TINKU KE PAPPA,
Thanks for the 100 kisses.Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses…1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.2. The electricity man, Kooldip Singh, agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.3. Your landlord Kapal Singh comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of the monthly rent.4. Supermarket owner Jaswant Singh did not accept kisses only, so I gave him other items, I hope you understand.5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.Please don’t worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses andI hope I can survive the month using this balance.Shall I plan the same for the next month?Your Sweet Heart,SunitaRelated

Dog is truly a man’s best friend.

If you don’t believe it, just try this experiment: Lock your dog and your girlfriend in the boot of the car for an hour.

When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?Related

The proverbs. [Read it]


SOME meaningful PROVERBS!!

1.The anger of a penis doesn't destroy the
Vagina

2.There's no Virgin in a maternity ward

3.A child can play with it's mother's
breasts,but not with the father's testicles

4.The man who marries a beautiful woman
and the farmer who grows corns by the road
side have the same problem

5.When you see a woman sitting with her legs
open,never tell her to close them,b'cos u do
not know her source of fresh air.

6.He who says that nothing lasts forever has
never tried Hausa perfume

7.The only woman who knows where her man
is every night is a widow

8.An erected penis has no conscience

9.If u go to sleep with an itching anus,u are
sure to wake up with a smelly fingers

10.The day a mosquito lands on your testicles
is the day you will know there is a better way
of resolving issues without using Violence.
.
.
.
.
.GO-GETTER(sfn)


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-31 22:38:33

585 Views




INTERVIEWER: Why do you think we should hire you?
ME: Because you're hiring.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-25 10:27:28

563 Views




The great depression, like most other periods of severe unemployment, was produced by government mismanagement.Related

no idea [Read it]


Akpos was in the classroom one day and his teacher asked him a question.

TEACHER: Akpos! what do you call a deer with no eyes?

AKPOS: ''No idea" ma.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-28 09:09:10

173 Views



Mother's Love [Read it]


A son took his old mother to a Restaurant
for an
evening dinner. Mother being very old and weak,
while eating, dropped food on her clothes.
Other
dinners watched her in disgust while her son was calm.
After she finished eating, her son who was
not at all embarrassed, quietly took her to
the
wash room, wiped the food particles,
removed the stains, combed her hair and fitted her
spectacles firmly. When they came out, the
entire restaurant was watching them in
silence,
not able to grasp how someone could
embarrass themselves publicly like that. The son settled
the
bill and started walking out with his mother.
At
that time, an old man amongst the dinners
called out to the son and asked him, “Don’t you
think
you have left something behind?”. The son
replied, “No sir, I haven’t”. The old man
retorted,
“Yes, you have! You left a lesson for every child
and hope for every mother” The restaurant
went
silent. A wish of every mum. My mum had to
bear the shame of me embarrassing her
when i was little, i see no reason why i can't do the
same for her. The love of parents to their
children as well as their labor to them will
never
be in vain. Oh God! bless our mothers and
grant them sound health, pour Your unlimited
mercy
and favor to them in this present world and
Hereafter in Jesus name. Amen!


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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,Akpos won a lottery via london and 10 million us dollars so he decided to bury the money under a tree at the back of his house and after digging a pit he buried it and took a camera and snapped the spot where he buried the money.immediately he rushed inside to have a shower in other 4 him to go to the airport 4 his free trip to london...while in the plane he brought out the camera to take a look at it.as he stared at the camera he saw a guy sitting on top of the tree where he buried the money lolz if ure were to be in akpos shoe what will you do.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-11-29 13:03:56

765 Views




Question of the day?

A girl sends her boyfriend who lives in another town a letter which read "I am sorry but i'm in love with a young,cute, adorable, intelligent and handsome guy. So i want us to end our relationship since I no longer love u. Please send my picture back to me. 2 DAYS LATER, The guy sent her an envelope containing 50 different pictures and a letter which read "PlS am sorry but i have forgotten your face so please select ur picture and send the rest back to me".
Now This is my Question: WHICH OF THEM BROKE THErnOTHERS HEART THE MOST?.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-30 18:50:48

1422 Views




There’s no such a thing as a happy single women, they are all just wives-in-training.Related

How are you feeling dube?.i know how you feel and
the pain you are going through.please don’t give
up.you can make it okay.please please.those are the
words that folake said to me.immediately Jc them
left..she helped me to untied the rope that was tied on
my hand and leg.blood was still gushing out from my left arm.she teared out down side of her gown she
wore and tied them on my bloody arm.the oozing
blood on my arm instantly reduce.but the pain was
still there.i was just laying helpless on the ground.i
wasn’t crying nor laughing.i was just laying still like a
mode stature.my JMAN wasn’t helping matter at all.it was still suffering from the kick Jc gave to it..guys you
all know the pains we use to pass through if
something hard mistakenly hit us at that particular
area.is like a hell to us na.isn’t it?*lolz*..that was the
pain i went through when Jc kicked me twice at my
thing… Folake treated me like her brother.her words towards
me was encouraging.she never gave up on me.she
raise me up and placed my head on her laps.i fell
asleep instantly..i slept like 15 minutes and woke
up.my head was still on her laps.she was caresing my
hair.i was feeling a little bit strong.the pain under my leg instantly reduce.i was only feeling pain on my
arm..
Thank God that you are awake..she said to me
smiling.how are you feeling now?
ME.a little bit fine thanks.were are they.i mean the
gang?. FOLAKE.they are not yet back.
ME.ooh.are you ready to excape?.
FOLAKE.i don’t understand you.
ME.we have to fine a way and excape from this cage
right now.
FOLAKE.how are we gonna do that?.the cage is locked.and we don’t have any mental with us here to
break free.
ME.we should find a way out.other wise if those beast
came back to meet us here.i’m dead.and they might
even rape you.they are unpredictable.
After telling her those words.expecially that of the RAPE.fear was writting all over her body.tears instantly
formed on her eyes.infact she was shaking.
FOLAKE.(voice shaking)i don’t want to be rape.
ME.then lets find a way out.(i stood up and held her
hand)
She looked up and stared at me.in a confused way. FOLAKE.tell me.what do you want us to do now..
I looked around the cage and saw a little plank.i took it
and started hitting the cage at the key point.i didn’t
mind the pain i was passing through again.my
determination was to break the pardlock and leave
immediately.i was hitting the pardlock harder.but the plank wasn’t having any effect on the parlock.i tried
hitting more harder unfortunately the plank broke
into two places…shirt.(i shouted).
FOLAKE.what happen?
ME.the plank broke.
FOLAKE..ooh God.what are we going to do now. ME.don’t worry.we will find another way out.
I just said those words to comfort her. Even though i
don’t know have any other alternative to break the
pard..i started to draw the big pard with my
hand.whether something miracle might happen.but
all effort proved abortive..i finally gave up.coz there wasn’t any other thing i can do..i was staring at the
key as if i want to cast a spell on it to open.i started
wishing that i have magic..i turn back and saw folake
sobing..i went closer to her and held her tight to
myself.without any word.i was holding her as if she
was my girlfriend or lover.my mind started telling me that DUBE.THIS IS ANOTHER MAN’S WIFE
O.becareful.but negative thought never came into my
mind.i was just doing my thing as a gentle guy i’m..i
held her for some minutes.then she raise her head up
and said.
FOLAKE.dube.thank you.if we eventually survive this horrible adventure.i will suprise you.
I just nodded without any othe word.she relaxe her
whole body on me.she was heavy but i didn’t
complain.she fell asleep instantly under my arm.
Some minutes later.i looked up and saw a female
figure approaching us.i woke folake up.and together we stood up.the figure was some kilometer away from
us and i fould out that it was SEYI.i was happy to see
her.maybe she came to rescue us.she came closer and
the first question i asked her was.
ME.were is charity and my family?.
SEYI.they are save.we have to get out from here. She brought out a key and…
TBC.

>>

Mumuni, who was in a mental hospital was
being reviewed for possible release.
When asked what he would do if released,
he replied, "I am going to make a slingshot
and come back here and break every damn
window in the place."Obviously, his release
was denied.
Six months later, the board was again
considering his release and again asked him
the same question. His reply was the same.
"I am going to make a sling shot and come
back here and break every damn window in
the place." Again, he was turned down.
Several months later he was complaining to
a fellow patient that he could never seem
to get released. The patients asked him
what he said when they interviewed him,
and Mumuni told him.
The patient said, "You will never get
released with answers like that. You have
to tell them what they want to hear. Let
me give you some advice on how to answer
them when they ask you questions."
So, after considerable coaching, Mumuni
felt that he was ready.
So when the board met again, they again
asked him what he would do if they let him
out. But this time he was ready.
Mumuni said, "I am going to get a job, find
an apartment and settle down."
"Good," they said, and then what?
He said, "I want to meet a nice girl and
start dating." They agreed he was making
real progress and asked, "And then what ?"
"One night when we are alone in my
apartment, I am going to make passionate
love to my girlfriend. I am going to take
her dress off, and then take her bra off
and lie her down on the bed."
"Yes," they said excitedly.
"Then I am going to gently remove her
panties," he continued.
The board members were really getting
excited now and asked, "Then what are you
going to do ?"
He said, " I am going to take the elastic out
of those panties, make myself a slingshot,
come back here and break every damn
window in this place!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-04 13:00:28

798 Views



Life incident [Read it]


You were born in a first class hospital,
I was delivered at home,
we both survived.

You went to a private school,
I went to a razz government school,
we both ended in the same University.

You woke up from the bed and
I woke from the floor,
we both had a peaceful night rest.

Your outfits are all expensive,
Mine are all simple and cheap,
We both still cover our nakedness.

You ate fried rice and roasted chicken,
I ate pap and akara
but we both still ate to our satisfaction.

You ride on Lexus jeep, Range Rover,
G Wagon, Hummer Jeep and I use public transport.
But we still got to our various
destination.

You may be reading this post from
your sony xperia, BBZ10,
Q10, Iphone6+,Nokia and I typed it with my BB, we still see the same thing.

You got married in Dubai and
I married in Ijebu,
We both wore ring and people ate rice.

Life is not a competition and there are
different ways to get a lot of things done, different lanes all leading to the
same destination. Just because your
neighbour is doing things faster does
not mean you are failing.

Happiness doesn't come from having everything, but from making the best
out of what you have, it's all about
how you see yourself. Stay on your
own lane and forge ahead.
God bless u all!
.
.
.
.
.GO-GETTER(sfn)


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-04 09:38:44

460 Views




*Yahoo chat*

dude_88: What’s your name?

cute_gl: I’m Laura. Yours?

dude_88: Lassun.

cute_gl: Delhi se hun bhenchod! Lassun andar lele!Related
My heart has a Condition;No one enters it without Permission;Only a FRIEND gets Admission;And that too, without any Donation!Related

Rahul quickly stepped back releasing Ana's chair as Ria stepped into the room

Ria looked at both of them doubtfully, "Oh! You are here. I was searching for you all over the mansion."

"I was just telling her about the orphanage fiasco. If you are all set we can leave." Rahul replied trying to sound normal.

Ria glared at Ana as Rahul walked towards her. They both left the room together, but not before Ana heard Ria saying, "Why do you have to tell her anything? She is a gold digger. She already won over your mom, telling fake stories. I don't think she is even an orphan. Better not to give her any information, until you know more about that bitch ..." Ria's voice trailed away.

Ana wondered if Rahul agreed with Ria or defended her integrity. "Ofcourse if he is planning to spend his life with her, then he has to agree with her", she thought and felt her heart heavy with disappointment.

Next day, when Ana arrived at the mansion, Mandy came running towards her and hugged her, "Great news Ana! Neha is pregnant! We are going to Miami to visit her now. We should be back by evening, but if you want to bring prince along, we can pick him up on the way."

Ana jumped with excitement hearing the news and hugged Mandy tightly, "Wow! I am so happy for Neha. I can't wait to meet her. Cynthia can take care of prince, so let's go."

They both reached airport, where the company jet was waiting to take them to Florida. Ana's excitement didn't last long. As she stepped onto the plane, she noticed Rahul and Ria already seated and chatting business.

The surprise was mutual, as Ria angrily noticed Ana stepping in and taking a seat by Mandy. Ana was happy that Mandy was by her side and they both started talking about pregnancy and babies. Rahul seemed to be happy to have Ana within his eyesight.

Neha was thrilled to see them and after hugs and kisses, she took Ana aside and asked her, "Ana ... promise me you will be with me through this process?"

"Sure Neha, I will be with you and we will have lot of fun. Don't worry about anything and keep eating healthy for you and the baby."

Neha planned to take them to the temple, later in the day. Ana wasn't sure, as she didn't bring any dresses with her, but Neha already planned and prepped traditional Indian dresses for both of them.

Ana never wore a traditional Indian dress, so Neha helped her with the dress and then left Ana in her room to check on rest of the family.

Ana was standing by the window and watching some kids playing, when suddenly she felt a hand on her back, "Hey sis, you ready?", Rahul turned Ana around thinking it was his sister.

"Hey, I am not ..." Ana realized Rahul was looking for his sister.

"OMG it's you! Ana .. You look amazing!" His hand slid down to her waist pulling her towards him.

"Wait! Mr Shah . .. what are you doing?" She tried to stop him by placing her hand on his hard chest. She was still mad at him and wanted to stop him before her knees go weak and his masculine scent overpowers her senses.

"Admiring your beauty" he sounded genuine, speaking with dreamy eyes and bending forward towards her lips.

"Not so fast", she pushed him back. "Are you kidding? Your fiancée is right next door." She was really angry now.

"Who ... Ria? She's not my fiancée yet. Things can change. Are you available? Will you marry me?" Rahul was completely mesmerized by Ana and at that moment he wanted her so badly that nothing else mattered.

Ana was shocked. She couldn't believe her ears.

"Did he just propose to me?"

She took a second and composed herself, still holding him back with her hand on his chest. "Mr Shah, you seem to be confused. I am not looking for a husband, nor am I the right type of girl for you. You should leave now."


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Pappu had diarrhea. He tells his mom that he needs Viagra.

Jeeto: Why on Earth do you need that?

Pappu: Isn’t that what you give daddy when his shit doesn’t get hard?Related

Why are pubic hair curly?

If they weren’t, they would blind you!Related

Yoruba boy who was dating an Igbo
girl whose name was Njideka asked
her to lie to his mum when he takes
her home that her name was Bisi. He told her his mum had a phobia for
non-Yoruba people and would never
accept her once she knows she is an
Igbo girl. She did as instructed on sighting the
boyfriend’s mum. The boy’s mum
asked her her name and she said
“Bisi”. The boy’s tribally sentimental mum
was so happy that her son was
getting married to a Yoruba girl,
ignoring the Igbo tone and she said:
“what a lovely name, your
boyfriend’s elder brother too is Adebisi, his Dad is Olabisi and my
best friend’s name is Omobisi, which
of the Bisi is yours?”
She was confused and she replied
“Ndubisi"
#bollyshow


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-06 18:34:17

476 Views




AYOMIDE'S ADVENTURE EPISODE 25

I was thinking of francisca and
her little sister throughout,I was
busy imagining what her sister will
look like,based on my imagination,
I think she is the most beautiful
girl in Africa,but could it be so?,
I come dey think about how I go
approach her first,my mum is out
of town for a whole week,so I should
be able to finish the plan in my
head before she comes back,so after
some hours,I received a call from
francisca telling me she is on his
way to our supermarket,okay,I was
really glad to hear that,I make sure
I was good looking,dressing nicely,
Even if I didn't approach her,she
should be interested in me,because
I was really very good looking,the
Last time I saw dolapo's new boyfriend
I was just very amused and also amazed,
because the guy she dump me for was not
even good looking like me,that is love can
be really very crazy sometimes,
Within some little minutes,francisca
finally arrived with her sister,wow!!!,she
is really looking good,I can't lie,
I think because she is younger
than my francisca,that's why she
is more beautiful than my babe,if
I happens to meet her before
Francisca,then I would have asked
her out but nevertheless I must
still have my way,I can't take my
eyes off her rounded face,she is
really straight,I love her shape
also,she is the same age as I am,
but she won't even notice that,
since I am dating her elder
sister,I welcome them in side,
helping my babe with the bag she
was carrying,they sat down,
she greeted with a big smile,
she was smiling graciously,
This was even dragging my
attention more towards her,
I couldn't figure out maybe
she was seducing me or
maybe that's her personality,
But I don't have to think
about that for now,my francisca,
was sitting next to me,I don't
she notice how I was looking
at her sister greedily,I don't waste
time in entertaining them with
soft drinks and snacks,I bought the
snack when coming from home.
I am sure they are enjoying
It.
"So mary how was journey??,hope
its not too stressful"I questioned..
"It was fine and it's a bit stressful,
Its my first time traveling alone,I was
Praying that I shouldn't get lost,thank
God am here now"she replied..
"Oh that's good,so have your sister
told you,you people will be staying
at my place for the week?"I inquire..
"Yes I told her" francisca bursted in...
Ohh I think she is feeling left out,
because I only concentrated on conversing
with Mary,and Francisca is
not someone to be left out in such
a conversation,I think that's why she answer.
"Yes she told me,that puts me in
a difficult position on hearing it but
later on I agree,but I hope you
treat me nicely uncle"she said jokingly.
we all laughed as the atmosphere
here was really bright,we continue
talking,smile is on everybody's face,
we were all happy,I wish it continues
this way anyway,Francisca is
familiar with selling in our
supermarket because she has done it
once,her help reduces my stress,
Our supermarket was lively again,I
wasn't the only one inside the big
Supermarket that day,and I think
that's how its gonna be for a week,
When its exactly 5:30pm francisca,
requested to go home before us(I and mary),
She wanted to go home and cook,
She wasn't very familiar with our
house though but she would try
her best anyway,we don't have to buy
all sort of things before we eat,so
I gave her the key to our house
as she left with the luggages her
sister brought,I was now alone with
francisca sister,Mary...we still have a lot
to sell in the supermarket that day,I
Always close the supermarket by 9pm,
so I told mary we will be going home
together,I still don't feel like
touching mary,infact I haven't even
Have a plan for her,I was busy
looking at her throughout,I
did it perfectly that she was
unable to caught me,she was
really happy to me as I could see
how she was reacting with me,
but I don't want to react
rashly,because I am not sure
If she was thinking the same
thing I was thinking,when we
were less busy in the supermarket,
I was sitting close to her,holding
her hands,but I have no bad motives
I was only holding her hands because
I feel like holding it,I asked her
many things about her,every single
things am curious about,I was made to
know that she just finished writing her
WAEC,she was in the same category
As me,so I asked if she have a boyfriend,
she told me she have up to three guys,
she told me she loves only one out
of them,"the rest of them are just
a camouflage,I accepted them mainly
because of their disturbance,and also
out of pity,because I can't deny the
fact that they love me truly,so I have
three boyfriends"..she explained,...
Wow!!!..this girl self no be
seresere,she no be one get inside
babe,she knows what's up,when I
asked her if she had ever had sex
before,though I was asking
All sort of impolite questions but she was
also answering me,without hesitation,
Maybe she love talking to me I guess
that's why she was answering all my
questions,she told she is no more
a virgin,she told me she already had
sex twice with two different guys,her
Sister once told me also that she is not
a virgin,chai!!!...I respect all this
Port harcourt boys o,they no take am
easy with all this their beautiful chicks...
I am happy she knows what sex
Is already,I don't expect her
to be surprise if I wanna sex her
Also,then I have to make sure
I have a pure plan for her,I don't
wanna drug her....

TO BE CONTINUED********

>>

I Love You is 8 letters long.
.
.
.
.
Then again, so is bullshit.Related

Luke: that is enough(he pull her from his body)why are you crying?
Loveth: is nothing i can't handle(she wiped her tears)how are you doing?
Luke: i am not fine
Loveth: why?did your mom do something bad to you?
Luke: no
Loveth: then why are you sad?
Luke: is because of you
Loveth: what did i do?
Luke: i am sad because you are sad
Loveth: please don't be sad because of me;my whole life is in a mess,all because i want to get married
Luke: is he hurting you?
Loveth: no
Luke: are you sure?
Loveth: yes;i am sure
Luke: alright;whatever the problem is;take it easy on yourself
Loveth: i will my superman(he laughed)
Luke: you are funny(he dragged her nose)
Loveth: hey that hurt
Luke: sorry;what do i do to make you happy?
Loveth: don't bothered;i will be fine
Luke: just come with me(he dragged her to the car and they drove off)here we are
Loveth: whoa! this is beautiful(she touch one of the art work)
Luke: you like it?
Loveth: of cause;it shows a woman and a caring man,just look at the way he carried her;this two are like husband and wife
Luke: you are right(she touches another)
Loveth: she is like me;a sorrowful girl(he touches another)what is that?why is he carrying a coffin?
Luke: its says,'buried all your pains and regrets'(she laughed and she walked towards it)do you have what to....
Loveth: of cause(she grabbed the pen and paper and write)this is the coolest thing i have ever seems(he laughed)why?
Luke: nothing
Loveth: you might have something to buried you know
Luke: none for now;come on lets go;this is where i spent my days when i am sad;i just sit and write all my regrets and then buried them;after that,i feel relief;it really works and i always sit over here
Loveth: what is there?(she walks towards it)a love story?but there is no book here?
Luke: look at those stone that are moulded like tombs(she stared)are you seeing it?
Loveth: yes(she read it)i like it(she frown)
Luke: what is it?
Loveth: is just so bad that real life isn't as simple as in the storybook or movie
Luke: look over there
Loveth: (she read)i know after reading this story you will say;real life isn't as simple as in the fiction but it is because you are standing right beside the one who will be your perfect match and everything in this story will come true(they both laughed)this people are crazy;we are no lovers so it wouldn't match
Luke: come on lets go(they walked holding hands)here we are(his stomach make a sound)
Loveth: are you hungry?
Luke: kind of(he laughed)i am used to eating from my mom's house and making my own meal and then sometime eating outside
Loveth: do you eat cookies?
Luke: of cause(she gave to him and he ate it)thank you very much,i like this
Loveth: it seems both of us like same things
Luke: kind of(she pick up her phone and saw twenty missed called and five text messages)
Loveth: i got to go
Luke: wait let me take you back
Loveth: don't worry i cant find my way
Luke: alright;thanks for the cookies and thanks for keeping me company
Loveth: i should be the one thanking you(she pecked him and walked away)
Luke: i got to go back home(curtain)



Darling: hey girls
Loveth: sweetheart;where is your car?
Darling: that is old story;this is the latest in town
Vivian: whoa
Loveth: you got a new car?
Darling: yep;my sweet loving and caring husband decided to get me a new car after the mechanic lost my car
Loveth: whoa oh! this is whoa
Darling: you are crazy
Vivian: are you sure your husband hasn't sold that your car and he is just pretend
Loveth: even if he does;at least he brought her a new one to replace the former
Vivian: i am just saying
Darling: i know you meant well
Vivian: careful my friend;men are not to be trusted
Loveth: that is enough;pastor Mrs;lets go wash the car
Darling: you right;and do some catching up(she drive)Love;what is new?
Loveth: is nothing important;is just me and that proud element
Darling: you kept complaining about him;why don't you call it a quit
Loveth: i can't because mom is expecting me to get married when she returned and he is my only option
Darling: i just wish you don't end up with him
Loveth: please;don't pray that kind of prayer for me because your praying that;is like telling God to let my mom cut off my neck and i don't want to die yet(they both laughed)
Darling: you are mad and you madam(to Vivian)what is going on with you?
Vivian: nothing;
Loveth: what do you mean nothing?you kept acting funny and you say nothing
Vivian: is not
Darling: are you having issues at home?
Vivian: no oh;is it because i said men are not to be trusted?i and my husband are doing perfectly fine
Darling: alright;if you say so
Loveth: lets just forget about anything bothering us and face the future and enjoy ourselves for today
Darling: you right;party time
Loveth: no stopping (curtain)


Yemi: welcome
Luke: thank you;where is my mom?
Yemi: she went out
Luke: alright;i will just go up
Monica: dear;i am sorry for yesterday;i made you go to bed without food
Luke: is okay;i understand you are not perfect;so you are bond to make mistake
Monica: i know but is just that i am not used to cooking rubbish;you know i am a good cook(he stared at her)please;don't look at me like that;i used to prepared very nice meal for you(he laughed)why?
Luke: is because you are funny
Monica: but you didn't tell me at anytime that the food is bad
Luke: why should i?you put an efford into making something;even if it wasn't nice,i still don't have to say it
Monica: go on tell me;my food is bad
Luke: lets not go through that
Monica: just say it
Luke: is bad(Yemi laughed)will you stop that?what is funny?
Yemi: nothing;excuse me(she continued laughing and walked away)
Luke: i am sorry;i really didn't meant it
Monica: but you just embarrassed me in front of her(enter Alex)
Luke: i said i am sorry(she cried and walked away)
Alex: why is she crying?
Luke: people want the honest truth from you but when you tell them;they won't accept
Alex: i don't understand




SEE MORE



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ONE WRONG TURN
Episode: 40

The sound of those
words fell on me like a
bomb. My heart
became heavy, my
limbs grew weak, i felt
like dying. I ran up to
Ehis and knelt down
beside him, crying and
pleading.
I kept trying to explain
that things were not
exactly the way they
seemed, i was here by
accident and i wanted
to escape before he
came in.
I swore on my life that
i had nothing to do with
mesode. But the bra in
my hand, and my rough
appearance made
everything i said seem
like a lie.
Mesode simply stood
and watched, without
corroborating my story.
Ehis tore my hands
away from himself and
walked out of the
room, closing the door
behind him.
I remained on the
ground feeling lost and
disconcerted, i was like
a woman in the early
stage of madness. I
sprawled on the floor
weeping. I was yet to
count my loss. Mesode
was busy sipping wine
from a glass cup, and
paid very little
attention to my sobs.
“so shall we continue
from where we
stopped.? ” he asked,
trying to hold me up
from the floor.
” leave me alone, get
out” i screamed, and
pushed him away from
me. I got up without
his help and reached for
my bag. I folded my bra
in two and squeezed it
into my bag and
headed for the door.
“come back here my
friend, where do you
think you are going? we
are not through”
mesode ordered.
“i’m through with you,
you just ruined my life”
i replied, as i continued
towards the door.
“look here, you can
settle you issues with
my cousin later, that’s
non of my business,
just let me enjoy the
worth of my money,
don’t you know how
much your friend
charged me?
I stopped in my tracks
and turned around, i
needed to understand
his last sentence, i
hoped it was not was i
was thinking.
“what do you mean? ” i
asked with an air of
seriousness.
” don’t ask me dirty
questions, i paid your
friend thirty thousand
naira for this runs, so
let me enjoy myself”
At that point, reality
set in. Hannah had sold
me to a man like a
cheap prostitute_. And i
instantly began to feel
like one. Regret joined
my broken heart, i was
deeply grieved.


>>

Tunde walked briskly through the stale corridor, his heart beat crazily in his chest from the anger and frustration he couldn’t seem to dispense of since Priscilla left. He walked towards the large hall hearing noises from it, God; he never thought he would see the inside of a prison facility. It reeked of hopelessness and felons.

He gritted his teeth trying to calm the sudden burst of anger within him as he saw his father sitting expectantly on one of the long benches in the room. Tunde walked there, fighting to maintain his calm as he walked through other prisoners and their visitors. Finally, he got to his destination and sat opposite the father he had grown to dislike immensely. There were no handshakes or family relations, just a cold silence between them.

Tunde spoke first, wanting to be done with the meeting as quickly as possible “Dad”

“I’m glad you came”, Chief Ariyo spoke, beaming expectantly. He looked older than his 67 years of age and he had only been there a week ago. “So what’s happening Tunde?”

“What’s happening? A lot of things”, he was surprisingly calmer than he had expected.

His father sighed and looked around then shifted to look closer on his seat “I can’t be here, Tunde. This place is not for me, there are all manners of people here and the living conditions are disgraceful.”

Tunde stared at his father in full disgust; his jaw was clinched in the anger which now replaced his calm façade. “Are you even thinking at all dad?” his voiced was trimmed with fury. “You stole millions of naira from powerful people, even your friend for crying out loud!”

His father grimaced. “Are we really going over that?”

“We will always go over that!”, he replied with his voice raised in anger. It took him a few minutes to calm himself and he continued with controlled effort. “I can’t even begin to describe what our family is going through right now” Tunde hit the table “Your wife in the hospital because of you, my marriage is nowhere and your business has gone down and…”

“The business?” Chief Ariyo repeated in shock. “The business? What happened to the business?” he asked with anxiety.

Tunde looked at his father in disbelief. “You are more concerned about your business than your family?”

“I built that place from scratch”, the older man replied defensively “Without it, would you have had this life you are living? Best schools, best cars, best clothes!” he shifted in self-justification, his father’s voice had grown low with anger “I did what I had to do to survive and give my family the best.”

“You did what you had to do for yourself, dad”, Tunde responded, looking back at his father full of scorn and shook his head. “I feel so sorry for you,” he continued in a low voice, visibly calmer now. “You will rot here; you will be alone and die alone.”

His father stared back at him full of hate “You wouldn’t leave your father out here will you?” he said in a manipulative tone.

“Figure out how to pay for the millions you stole, dad. Our cars you claim to have gotten for us even your mansion would soon be confiscated; your family you claim to have fought for would have been living from hand to mouth if not for me!” He slumped back in his chair realizing he had moved forward “Do us a favor and see yourself out of this mess.”

“Your ‘second’ son is handling the lawyer’s bills. I have my own life to live.” Tunde got up and his father watched him in scornful silence.

“I regret the day you were born” Chief Ariyo looked into the black pools of his son’s eyes.

Tunde looked at him and shook his head. “I forgive you dad” with that he walked away from his father towards the stale corridor with a heavy heart.

***

Richard opened the door of his apartment as soon as he heard the knock on the door; Karen stared at him for a minute and walked in. She wore a short blue boubou dress with her signature killer heels and turned around to face him as soon as he shut the door.

“You look shabby,” Karen stated drily as she looked at him.

He shrugged; he had not been himself since the great revelation at the dinner. He nearly ran crazy thinking, repeatedly calling Priscilla’s phone and it was obvious she was ignoring his calls. Richard drew from the second cigarette he lit that morning still dangling from between his fingers.

“You want anything to drink?” he asked in a detached note.

“No, I’m making this as quickly as possible seeing you are a mess”, Karen replied with her voice trimmed with irritation. She stood at the centre of the familiar scattered parlor staring at him.

Richard stubbed out the cigarette on the high wooden table he had gone to stand besides overlooking the windows. “Shoot”

“Have you spoken to Priscilla?” she asked defiantly.

He shook his head “Why? What storm have you brought now, Karen?”

Her lips smirked at his question “Did I ever bring up a storm?” Karen replied innocently and Richard shook his head.

“I know you took me there purposely to insult her and ‘claim your prize.'”

“Claim my prize?” Karen echoed and chuckled a little “I have heard that one too many times” she replied, thinking of Tunde.

“Did it pay off?”

“Did what pay off?”

“Destroying her marriage because I’m sure you were intent on that”, Richard went on ignoring her lips thinned into a line “What Karen wants Karen gets,” he stated more to himself than her.

“Did you not want her also?”

“Not this way” Richard replied and looked squarely at his ex-lover “I knew she loved that man even though it pains me to admit it. I knew she did. What happened between us on her part was out of loneliness then.”

Karen stared at him with an unreadable expression on her pretty face “I didn’t come here for sentiments, Richard.” Her tone was staccato.

“Then why are you here?”

“To ask if you are going to talk to her. He’s going to give her a divorce,” Karen stated icily.

“You are happy about that aren’t you?” Richard asked staring dead into her eyes giving her a chilling shiver.

“Don’t you want that too?”

“No” he shook his head looking distantly out of the window, “Not anymore. I just want to know if I’m the father of her child or not”

Karen pursed her lips as though stopping herself from giving a biting remark, she walked towards the door. “What happened to you Richard?” she asked softly “You used to be like me.”

He said nothing and walked to the door, the answer lay between them.

“Call me when you speak to her will you?” Karen opened the door and walked herself out.

***

She could not sleep; her evening siesta was interrupted with the troubling words she heard over the phone. Imabong sat up in her little bedroom looking around hopelessly, her heart was heavy with grief for her half-sister following the conversation she had with Seyi in the morning.

Imabong closed her eyes letting happy memories of her childhood flood it; memories she had discounted and pushed to the back of her mind softened her heart at the hazy remembrance of Priscilla. She pushed back tears opening her eyes again but they stubbornly streamed down her smooth fair cheeks, Ima hastily dabbed them with the corner of her duvet sniffing as she did so.

She got up, straightening her petite figure and walked towards the stout chest of drawers besides her wardrobe, she knelt beside it and opened the top drawer rummaging beneath her clothes to find an old diary. With a great effort, she flipped its pages to the page where she wrote her sister’s number, her heart wretched in her chest.

Ima closed her eyes again trying to imagine what Priscilla was going through. Her mind was thrown back to a few years back before she left for Port Harcourt; her guilt trip began when she found out about her parents plans to marry her off. She had been so against it but more so when her mother revealed to her Priscilla was not her daughter. In her words, it was ‘leading a calf to the slaughterhouse’.

Maybe she ought to have told Priscilla about it, maybe it would have saved her from her predicament, so much drama in her life. She, Ima had come to Port Harcourt in hopes of finding herself, in hopes of running from her guilt. She could not even understand how Priscilla felt, she had gotten a moderate job; become her own woman yet she pushed her sister from side to side because of her over ambitious mother.

Imabong stared bleakly at the number. Was it going to ring? Had Priscilla changed her number? What would she say? Would she forgive her? A teardrop on the page blurred a little of the ink. Ima sucked in a deep breath, that was four years ago and she still had a role to play in her half sister’s sorrow.

Ima slowly got up with the diary and walked to her bed where her phone lay, it was time to lay old ghosts to rest.





***

Priscilla lay on her bed staring impersonally at the white POP ceiling; her mind was lost in her troubles. She so desperately wanted to hear the church organs the tune she had grown to love so much, she longed to hear it play from her home… with Tunde, wrapped up in his strong arms.

Her eyes had grown so puffy from crying and she kept having these dizzy spells and cramps. She had lost so much weight, which was not good for the baby, but she had no strength or inclination to eat. All she wanted, was to hear from Tunde whether he was angry or sad or whatever. Just to see him and anything to be around him, she turned to the left side of her bed. How had she come to love that man so much that it hurt this way to be away from him?

Almost a year ago, if they had told her she would be here feeling this way, she would have been disgusted. How could she love him this much? This time a tear came from the corner of her eye soaking the pillow. If only she could wipe away this Richard saga! The thought of the other man made her heart sink even more, ignoring his calls and messages yet he persisted unlike her husband who did not attempt to call once.

She knew she would soon have to face Richard and put an end to his chapter in her life but was that the end of Tunde’s chapter for her? She did not want it to end, in her heart she knew she was ready to go back to a loveless marriage if it meant being with him in hopes that he would forgive her someday. More tears flowed; the more she thought of him hoping he would take her back the more she was convinced he would not. He had waited for so long before he loved her, if he ever loved her for this chance. A chance to be with Karen.

Priscilla felt sick in her stomach thinking of them together, in bed, Karen’s ear pressed to his chest listening to his heartbeat as she always did. Priscilla swallowed down an anguished moan. This was the chance her husband had wanted and now he found it; she could not imagine letting him go. How could he leave with everything they had felt for each other, all the promises and the soft kisses… talking about everything and nothing? How could he look away from all that?

Could he not imagine she was hurting too? She was sorry!

This time she burst into tears, rolling on the pillow to stifle her sobs, her weak body gave way to her emotions until she lay spent after a while. Her heart felt so heavy, like a nagging painful feel. She wanted to rip out of her body. She wondered why she had not died already from the heartache but then she had died a million deaths both in body and in mind.

The distinct sound of her phone brought her out of oblivion; she stretched towards the offensive sound and clicked to receive the call. It was a distinctively familiar feminine voice.

“Hello” her voice croaked in her ears.

“Hello” the caller replied “Am I speaking with Priscilla, Priscilla Irumogbe?”

“Who is this?”

There was a pause at the other end then a slow answer “Its Imabong”

Shock registered on Priscilla’s face at the vivid image of her sister came up “Ima?”

“Yes Ima.” Her voice sounded more confident.

“Oh my goodness, Ima” , her voice shook carrying the weight of her emotions “It’s been forever”

“I know sister,” she laughed a little obviously feeling more relaxed “How are you?”

Priscilla was not sure how to answer that “Ima it’s been forever, you never called or returned any of my calls or mails”, Priscilla replied in a shaky tone. “How are you Imabong?”

“I’m okay, living each day as it comes” Imabong replied slowly. The line fell quiet for a few minutes.

“Why did you call out of the blues? We used to be very close and you couldn’t even talk to me or tell me what was wrong.”

There was silence again for a few minutes “That’s the reason why I called Priscilla. I’m so sorry, it’s a long story.”

“Let me call you back then.” She hung up and called her younger sister back immediately. “I’m all ears”

“I heard everything, Priscilla” Imabong took a deep breath “From the affair mum had to the marriage and now your present…” she paused looking for the appropriate word… “Situation”, she finally found the word.

“Who told you?” Priscilla asked with surprise.

“It’s Seyi”, Ima replied and gushed on “He’s just really worried for you and we both think you need all the support you can get right now.”

Priscilla said nothing, a bit irritated.

“Priscilla? Are you there?”

“Yes, yes I am” she replied tongue in cheek. “After all this time you just call me out of the blues to tell me I need all the support I can get?…” she let her words hang to increase its meaning.

“I admit it’s a laughable attempt from my end to be a good sister”, she sighed loudly. “Priscilla, I had my issues I battled with for the four years I’ve been here. I know it’s no excuse and I’m really sorry, you don’t know how sorry I am. It’s no excuse but I really hope to fix what I left unfinished four years ago” she paused letting her words sink in “I’m so sorry for everything what mother did, I’m ashamed.”

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of”, she replied, not even believing what she said and she knew Ima did not believe her too.

“How is she? Mum?”

“I haven’t spoken to her in a while. I thought it was best to give her some space.”

She could tell Ima agreed with her choice. “You know nothing would ever change between us even though we are half-sisters. I still will not stop loving you any less”, Priscilla stated that with a surge of emotion, she had lost one too many people to lose her sister now.

“I love you too sis but I also had my part to place Priscilla. I failed you when I should have stood up for you,” her voice sounded so small from shame.

“What do you mean?” Priscilla asked looking puzzled.

“Your maternity” Imabong let out a big sigh before continuing, “I knew about it”

There was an awkward silence “Priscilla?” Ima called her name in alarm.

“I’ve heard you” Priscilla replied slowly. “Did you know about mother’s plans?” her voice shook a bit.

“Yes”, Ima replied sounding distressed. “I was too weak; I should have stood up to her.”

“There’s nothing you could have done” her tone was distant. “She can be a scary person to double cross.”

Imabong laughed full of resentment directed herself “Wouldn’t you get angry? Shout at something or me? I could have prevented this, I could have told you and…”

“Yeah I’m hurt, Ima but that was four years ago. I don’t need to look back now; I need to look forward for the future of my child and me.”

“Priscilla, I have felt so guilty about it. I have carried this burden since then and you telling me it is okay doesn’t even make it any easier for me…”

“I can’t dwell on this, Ima. Yes, I’m hurt and I’m a bit angry”, Priscilla responded in a controlled calm voice. “I doubt that screaming and shouting would rewrite history.”

“Priscilla…”

“I’m glad you’re here now Ima. Things may not be as they should be but it is comforting to hear your voice again”. For the first time in a while, Priscilla smiled, genuinely.

>>

Pls Help Me [Read it]


Help Me Thank God.. i Was Attack Last Night By Two Unknown Monsters
THEY ATTACKED ME BETWEEN 2.30am to 4.30am this morning.
They came into my room, I was
sleeping when I heard their sound as they
entered, I quickly woke up & one of them ran towards me 2 attack me, I had a weapon in my
room & I had no choice but to use it to defend myself.
I quickly struck one wit it, d second 1
ran towards me & we wrestled. "Is this really
happening to me?" I thought 2 myself within half a second.
My neighbors were in their rooms
hearing d chaotic sound that was emerging 4rm my room.
They wondered what was wrong wit
me. Finally I succeeded wit d 2nd 1, I looked at
my hands & I was stained wit blood, I looked at them on d floor & I saw one still moving, so I
struck again in anger & hit him hard again & behold,
i murdered 2 giant mosquitoes dat
attempted to suck my blood ooo..
Help me thank God oh????????

P.M


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-18 13:46:46

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Vivian: good day sir
Pastor: good day my daughter
Abraham: good day pastor
Pastor: come sit my son
Vivian: my husband said you want to see both of us
Pastor: yes; is because of the revelation i had about you
Vivian: which is?
Pastor: the reason why you are unable to gravid
Vivian: i dont get you
Pastor: you wouldnt be able to get pregnant because of the abortion you did back then
Vivian: what abortion are you talking about?
Pastor: just admit it
Vivian: i should admit it and for what?
Pastor: is the truth
Vivian: what truth are you so confident about?
Pastor: the truth is that you are a club girl but you are just pretending to be a christian
Vivian: i cant believe it
Pastor: the truth is bitter but you have to know that you have to tell your husband the truth
Vivian: i wouldnt take it; i cant believe that i was thinking that you are different from other pastor; i dont know you are fake
Abraham: will you shut up and sit
Vivian: i'm out of here; if you want to sit and have a chitchat with this man here; then suit yourself because as for me;i'm out of here (exit Vivian)
Abraham: come back here; am really sorry pastor; but i dont think i can believe it
Pastor: believe it or leave it (curtain)
Darling: hey girls is this a funeral
Loveth: what are you saying?
Darling: is it not in the funeral that people wear a long face
Loveth: dont be ridiculous; anyway; tell us how did your lonely clubbing goes
Darling: i dont want to talk about it
Loveth: why?
Darling: is simple because my self central man of a husband did want me to do the laundry; why would i even blame my husband? when for all time my laundryman have to choose to disappear is when my washing machine is bad and i have to do all the washing with my hands(she laughed)whats funny
Loveth: good for you; you just too lazy

Darling: please just stop it because i'm really anger and now my nails are ruin
Loveth: young woman why are you not talking
Vivian: i dont just feel like talking really
Darling: are you sure; or maybe that pastor of yours made you angry
Vivian: dont mind that silly man who called himself a pastor; can you imagine him calling me a club girl and that i only became a christian because of my husband
Darling: but that is the truth
Vivian: are you sick what kind of silly joke is that?
Darling: the truth is bitter right? the truth is that you are a fake girl whom want a real man
Vivian: yes is the fact but i never did sleep with any man nor did i get pregnant or did abortion. i really dont understand why he said i cant give birth because of the abortion i did
Darling: its difficult to believe; everyone know that every club girl is a slot. so dont blame anyone whom doesnt trust you
Vivian: see who is talking, are you better than me
Darling: of cause; but am not like you who want something different from what you have already. it would had be better if you just pick one of those club boys
Vivian: will you just shut up if you dont have anything to say
Darling: i'm just advising you
Vivian: keep your silly advice to yourself
Loveth: will you stop this nonsense
Darling: she started it first
Vivian: no you did (she stood to leave)dont you dare used this as an excuse to walk away from us; without telling us what happen between you and your matchmake
Loveth: please just stop it because you are not getting anything from me
Darling: if i have to force those words out of your mouth then i will do it
Loveth: that boy in question is way out of place. he is not the kind of boy i want to spent my entire life with
Vivian: i don't get you
Loveth: what don't you get? what kind of a boy will hit a lady that is not his wife; just because she is his maid. talk less of His wife;that means he wouldn't think twice before beating up his wife
Darling: now i get you; that boy hit his maid
Loveth: can you believe it
Vivian: but that shouldnt be a problem
Loveth: i dont really get you two sometime; someone hit his maid and you see nothing wrong with that. he is just been inhuman.
Darling: the problem with you is that you are expecting perfection from him
Loveth: i'm not expecting him to be perfect neither am i expecting perfection from him; i just want him to be humble
Darling: you are something else(phone ringing)
Loveth: hello
Jude: how are you doing?
Loveth: am good but please no disrespect; whom am i talking with
Jude: is Jude
Loveth: and who in God's name gave you my number
Jude: is your mom
Loveth: that mother of mine is some thing else; so
Jude: please forgive me; i really want to apologies to you
Loveth: dont apologies to me; do it to your maid. goodbye
Jude: please; dont end the call; if that is what you want i will do it for you but please can we go on a date
Loveth: i will think about it and please dont do it for me; do it because it is right
Jude: thanks; i will(he end the call)
Loveth: you wish
Darling: what is wrong with you; someone made a mistake and here he is trying to make it right and you are been stubborn
Loveth: i'm been realistic (phone ringing)i have to go and you two;are you not going home
Darling: not yet because we are not done arguing
Vivian: i wouldnt argued with with her;i will beat her up
Loveth: my crazy friends; that is why i love our friendship bond we quarrel but we get back together(curtain)
Yemi: hey young man; why didnt you call me
Luke: sorry i was busy
Yemi: you are busy?too busy that you cant even called your girlfriend the one you claim to love
Luke: are we dating?
Yemi: you dont know
Luke: if i knew; i wouldnt be asking you
Yemi: let just end this conversation and assume that we never had this chitchat (she sat on his laps)
Luke: hey; go to your sit it's embarrassing
Yemi: am embarrassing you?
Luke: is not like that(she tried to kissed him) please stop it
Yemi: you just unbelievable; i think i have to go home
Luke: alright; will you like to take something home
Yemi: of cause; waiter(she called waiter) i want five plate of rice and chicken;three chocolate; ice cream and cake and also two fish pie. thank you
Luke: are you sure you can eat all this
Yemi: of cause; but dont tell me you dont have money to pay for all this
Luke: money is not a problem; just go on and make your order
Yemi: thank you(she collected her order)
Luke: Shall we go
Yemi: of cause(curtian)
Grace: welcome sweet
Loveth: thanks; mom did you give anyone my number
Grace: who?
Loveth: mom you know him already
Grace: well i dont know
Loveth: Jude of cause
Grace: oh i gave him
Loveth: why?
Grace: is because he want to talk to you
Loveth: what if i dont want to talk to him
Grace: you really do not have a choice
Loveth: i do mom; can you please stay off my case and let me do things my ways
Grace: i wouldnt let you because if i do you wouldnt do anything
Loveth: mom please stop it already
Grace: fine; i will let you have your way but dont come back crying to me
Loveth: i wouldnt (Grace turned to leave) when is dad coming
Grace: dont asked me
Loveth: fine; i wouldnt. i just hope this woman will let me rest; even if i dont wear ring on my finger.........




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i claim it [Read it]


How Many Men Can Say Amen To This Prayer? May Your Daughters And Sisters Be Treated The Same Way You Treat Other Ladies.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-21 23:58:56

687 Views




What’s the big deal with Barack Obama being sworn in twice! My wife swears at me all the time.Related

Quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:


All girls are devils;


But my wife is the queen


of


.


.


.


all of them.Related

Drop your comments








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-19 07:58:57

589 Views




A 75 year old man collapsed at his Home and
he was taken to the hospital were he was put
on oxygen for 24 hours. when he was feeling
much better, the doctor came and gave him a
$500 bill for the service. upon seeing the bill,
the man started to cry.
The doctor assured
him that if it was the bill, there was no need
to cry coz he can pay it in instalments. The
man looked at the doctor and said, "am not
crying about the $500 bill. I have the money
to pay you cash. am just shocked that for
just 24 hours of oxygen I get a $500 bill,
then what will my bill be to GOD for the 75
years I've been breathing His air?"
To show that we appreciate the free air we
get from God.....pause for a minute, look up
and say "thank you God for this air". Not just saying thank you alone but also make sure you life here on earth is a purposeful one, Amen


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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pls help me [Read it]


Most time if i try chatin wit frnds on dis chat it won't redirect me or at times its will write URL incorrect service time out.. Bt i can read joke nd comment without any problem. Plsss am i d only 1 experiencing it or wat? Attimes i it will work.. Bt afta i reply 2 or 3 msg it won't work again


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-22 14:08:16

236 Views




A door-to-door salesman rang the bell at a suburban home, and the door was opened by Little Johnny puffing on a long black cigar.

Hiding his amazement, the salesman asked Johnny, “Is your Mother home?”

Little Johnny took the cigar out of his mouth, flicked ashes on the carpet, and asked, “What do you think?”Related

social networks [Read it]


AKPOS: I Have Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, Yahoo, Tumblr, Msn, Skype and G-Talk.
FRIEND: Dude, do you have a life?
AKPOS: OMG! No! Send me the link


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-19 17:27:32

281 Views



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