Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


MY FIRST PREGNANCY EPISODE 8


Mr sammy obeyed his inner mind and did what it said he should do....in while back in the labour room.....as mrs faith pushed, the pain she felt was of that of menstrual pain multiplied by a million,it was so painful that her head felt like exploding like a c4 bomb,but she couldn't stop pushing,she knew she had to do this for her husband and herself,so she continued pushing hard for the baby to come out,the Doctor encouraged her to breath slowly so as to help her in pushing,she breathed slowly then she pushed again and stoped...(DOCTOR):"you can do it Mrs faith you can do it",he said encouraging her.......nurses supported the doctor in encouraging her to push more,as she continued pushing,she suddenly urinated then polluted but the doctor and nurses said nothing, because it is a common thing that happens when a lady is giving birth, and they didn't want to embarrass her,Mrs faith didn't notice what she did at that moment,because all her focus was on the baby.....she continued pushing and pushing adding more force and more force,the doctor and the nurses kept on encouraging her more and more,finally the area of her vig*** bulged out and the doctor could see the baby's head(Crowning).she relaxed a little.....(DOCTOR):"you can do it,I can see the baby's head just push more harder,you can make it,you can do this",he said encouraging her to push again.....she said noting but she was totally encouraged on hearing that the baby's head could be seen,she began to push again but this time she pushed more earnest, the baby's head began to come out little by little with it's face facing towards mrs faith's back.....which is actually the best position.....as she pushed earnest ,the doctor supported the baby's head as it emerges,he didn't pull the baby's. Head or the umbilical cord so as not to cause nerve damage,the nurses kept on encouraging her,the baby's head was now fully out,the doctor saw a cord wrapped around the baby's neck....which is fairly common.....he gently lifted it over the baby's head.......it maybe carefully loosen in some cases........ so that the baby can slip through the loop,the baby came out more with it's right shoulder leading first,on see that the doctor gently lifted the baby's body towards the Mrs faith stomach to help the left shoulder come through,after which the rest of the baby's body should follow quickly.the doctor knowing fully well that....the baby's body will soon be out.....,prepared for the body of the baby to emerge,the baby's head rotated to one side....which it will probably do on its own......and the baby's head was slippery, So the doctor kept supporting the baby's head and neck,he provided enough support for the baby's neck,which wasn't able to support the head on its own at that point.Mrs faith pushed again and finally it was out, but to the doctor's unbelievable sight he saw another baby holding the first baby's leg,the doctor was so surprised on seeing it....(DOCTOR):"mrs faith its not yet over,there is still another baby",he said to her in a tone of surprise.....when she heard what the doctor said she became more empowered with strength,she pushed again with all her strength and power,the two babies came out,and immediately the doctor cut off the babies cords which holds them together with their mum(MRS FAITH),after the doctor cut of the cores mrs faith fell back to the bed,the doctor removed the plasm center and gave it to the nurses to dispose of it properly.........................TO BE CONTINUED......STORY BY DINDY.....WHATSAPP NUMBER:07087750433.... EMAIL@:[email protected] OR [email protected] FACEBOOK NAME:OSSY NNAMDI
PLEASE DO NOT SHARE WITHOUT TALKING TO ME PERSONALLY AND ASKING FOR PERMISSION...THANK YOU FOR READING THIS STORY




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Nurse: are you sure;you brought it here?
Stephanie: i don't know but i have been to the bank its not there. where could it be?
Nurse: i am not sure the cleaner saw anything of such
Stephanie: alright;if you see it give me a call
Alfred: what are you doing here?
Stephanie: nothing
Alfred: what do you mean nothing?
Stephanie: is nothing;i go ahead
Alfred: alright;what is she telling you?
Nurse: nothing;she said she is looking for her necklace
Alfred: what necklace?
Nurse: i don't know(enter Desmond)

Alfred: don't worry;go back to work
Nurse: alright sir
Desmond: what is going on?
Alfred: she came to look for her necklace
Desmond: who and what necklace?
Alfred: Stephanie
Desmond: is she okay
Alfred: she is;is the necklace not for her?
Desmond: it was but not anymore;i gave it yo her and i am taking it back
Alfred: but why is she looking for it?
Desmond: ask me?you don't want someone and you are still keeping his possession
Alfred: i wonder;i will go ahead. i have a patient to attend to
Desmond: alright take care(exit Alfred) i know what to do

Monalisa: everything seems to be going out of hand
Peace: why did you say so?
Monalisa: my daughter;i cannot control her anymore. she is getting out of hand
Stephanie: mom;did you see my.....
Monalisa: your what?
Stephanie: never mind;is not important;where is it?(she touch her neck)
Peace: where is what?
Stephanie: nothing. excuse me
Peace: come here
Monalisa: just let her be
Peace: are you sure she is okay?
Monalisa: i don't know;that is just her attitude. i really don't know what to do anymore
Peace: don't worry;she will come back to her senses
Monalisa: i hope so

Blessing: bad girl;you couldn't even come see me since you return?
Stephanie: you really didn't invite me
Blessing: really?
Stephanie: of cause
Desmond: come on(referring to Blessing)lets go home
Stephanie: such a mannerless boy
Desmond: what did you say?
Stephanie: you heard me right
Desmond: i will not think twice before hurting you
Blessing: brother come on lets go
Desmond: (a little girl ran and hit both of them;Stephanie and Desmond fall) where is my phone?stay away from me(he pick up the phone)rubbish
Blessing: see you around
Stephanie: i don't blame you(she pick her phone and left)
Monalisa: baby;your phone id ringing
Stephanie: mom;that is not my ringing tone
Monalisa: and that is not mine also. how did that phone come about
Stephanie: i don't know;oh my God!Desmond's phone
Monalisa: Desmond's phone(she stare at her)
Stephanie: mom please;don't give me that look. i need to get my phone before Felix start calling mr
Monalisa: alright;careful
Stephanie: i will

Blessing: now that you found out that the phone belong to Stephanie what do we do?
Desmond: nothing(he look at her picture)lovely but does this foolish boy have to sent her his unclothed body(he delete it)he is not even handsome
Blessing: hey stop pressing that phone before you run the battery down
Desmond: i will charge it(he read her messages and sigh)
Blessing: stop;you are invading her privacy
Beauty: who have that phone?
Desmond: is Stephanie;Blessing give me your phone
Blessing: what for?
Desmond: i want to collect her number
Blessing: that is bad
Rose: did i hear you right?
Desmond: mom;is not what you think
Beauty: then what?(enter Stephanie)
Desmond: she has.....
Stephanie: good day ma
Rose: how are you?
Stephanie: i am fine;can i have my phone
Demand: of cause you can;let me have mine
Stephanie: here it is. bye ma
Desmond: do you now watch pornography movie?
Stephanie: what kind of silly question is that?
Desmond: will you answer me?(he held her hand)
Stephanie: let go of me. you are hurting me;i owe you no explanation
Desmond: if you think you don't;you do(he slap her twice)answer me
Rose: are you mad?
Desmond: i am not;now answer me(he raise his hand again)
Stephanie: no;i don't
Desmond: now take your phone and delete it. i don't care how it get into your phone(she delete it) stupid girl(she cry)

Blessing: brother;is that how you hurt her?i am sorry baby
Stephanie: don't worry;i will tell my mom;you want to rape me
Rose: what?my son is....
Desmond: i want to rape you?do you think i am as stupid as those boys?if i want to rape you;i wouldn't be that slow(he drag her closer;kiss her;torn her top and push her to the chair;he walked towards her and Rose stood in front of him) this is what i will do

Blessing: are you mad?
Rose: Desmond;something is wrong with your head
Desmond: mom;nothing is wrong with me. you stop crying foolishly
Rose: is okay;go take her in;so she can change into something nice
Blessing: alright mom;come on(exit both)

Rose: i will tell your dad this rubbish you just did. if someone did this to your sister will you be happy? you will hear from me

Beauty: what where you thinking?
Desmond: please don't start;i know what i did was wrong but please don't push it
Beauty: Then why did you do it?
Desmond: i don't know;i will just go and talk to her

Blessing: please stop crying
Stephanie: Desmond;want to rape me;he is a beast
Blessing: wait;calm down. i know he didn't mean to
Stephanie: i will sue him for attempted rape
Blessing: it has not gotten to that(enter Desmond)
Stephanie: what are you doing here?
Desmond: Blessing;excuse us
Blessing: are you sure?
Desmond: yes;i want to talk to her
Blessing: alright(exit)

Stephanie: don't leave me here with him;he is a rapist(he laugh)why are you laughing?
Desmond: you are funny. sit down
Stephanie: i don't want to and don't worry;you will hear from me

Desmond: Stephie;Stephie;Stephie stop it; stop acting like a tough girl. where is my necklace?
Stephanie: what will i be doing with that cheap thong?
Desmond: is okay;i don't want yo argue with you
Stephanie: excuse me(she cry)
Desmond: your face is bleeding
Stephanie: will you stop touching me?i am not your girlfriend
Desmond: of cause and you can never be my girlfriend
Stephanie: you think i don't know all this while;that Beauty is your girlfriend?(he smile)what is funny?
Desmond: you are funny. i am not a dog
Stephanie: i don't care if you a dog or a sheep
Desmond: you hurt me so many times but every time i hurt you;i also ended up getting hurt. it seems i am hurting myself
Stephanie: will you stop turning the table. you hurt me deeply
Desmond: your mom made me do it
Stephanie: oh!cut it out;was it my mom that made you do those bullshit with Beauty?
Desmond: nothing happen between me and her
Stephanie: is not my business what you and Beauty do(she walk towards the door)
Desmond: of cause;it is;i love you. i know i hurt you;i pushed you away but deep down in me;i really do not want to do it
Stephanie: then why did you do it?you are such a chicken that Shiva away at every opportunity

Desmond: your mom made me choose;is either i stay away from you or she made you leave but it all still boil down to same
Stephanie: i called you;you wont pick;i texted you;you ignore it;i waited for you to come but you didn't show up;did i kill someone,that you disperse me that much?tell me? (she hit him on the chest)
Desmond: i came but you left already;i couldn't make it because of Beauty illness
Stephanie: Beauty again. i cant believe it(enter Beauty)


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Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.

– Oscar WildeRelated

Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it.

~ Robert MitchumRelated

EPS 5
Tap, tap, tap !! Henry woke up by the strange noise. He looked at his wife who was still deep asleep, kisses her on the fore-head " I love you, he whispered . He rub his eyes cause his vision was a little bit blur . he went back to bed laying on his back, with his face, facing the ceiling, still confuse about the 'news and the ball station thing . and how everybody thinks he's crazy .
Tap tap tap !!! The sound was a bit louder than before . Henry jerk up, turning on the lantern. He look around the room, his eye glance at the wall clock, it was 1:00pm. ' what will make this noise by this time of the night, he ask rhetorically. He sat on the bed with his head down . still going through about yesterday incidence.
Tap tap tap !!!
This time he was sure that something is not right, maybe somebody have barge in their house trying to steal some stuff.
He check on the kids but all was deep asleep .
Tap tap tap!!!! . the sound came from down stairs, he walk slowly turning on the lights as he approaches the staircase.
****
He check around the rooms down stairs no trace, no clue where the sound was coming from. What was making the sounds, but he was sure it came down here ..
He found out that one of the window is not close " may be the wind that prevails in cause the window to tap on its edges and make those disturbing sound. or someone had open the window to pass through. He shrugs, He closes the window ,
he went to the fridge . to take a bottle water. He returned back to the main room finding out that the window he just close is still open " mmm this is strange, I thought I..." he doubt himself ' maybe the wind had push it open again , he went and close it this time making sure he bolt it..
Bang!!!! Bang!!! Bang !!!! A sound made by a falling stainless plate, draw his attention to the kitchen side .
He tip toe slowly to the kitchen door ' who's there ? He asked quietly holding the door knob with his bottle set, ready to hit anything that comes in his way. He swung the door open, on the kitchen light just to find two rats running around.. "Damn rats nearly scared me to death " he muttered as he went back to the fridge to keep the bottle water and found out that the window is still open . ' what , I bolt this, ' he went back again to close it the third time . as he was drawing the window closer to its edge he caught a glimpse of a silhouette , sitting out in the field, he wasn't sure of what he saw , he peered closer to get a clearer view .he could only see the figure's back side.
He open the door every where was cold and quiet only the wind and some insects sounds could be heard . he stalk towards the figure . the figure's view became clear each time that he move towards it .analyzing it : that's a human figure , precisely a woman". He was few yards away form it when he hits his foot on a stone ' ah !!. He let's out a soft cry .he look down its was nothing big , looking up just to find the figure gone .He look around and saw it standing at the extreme . as he approaches it this time a little bit faster . when he slip of, and lose sight of the figure. He look around but it was no where to be found . he went back only to find the open window close .

Like

Four men – Mark, Bismark, George and Akpors were being
interviewed for a top job. The President decided to carry out
a test, with each candidate being asked the same question
and the best answer would get them the job.
The next morning, first up was Mark.
PRESIDENT: “Here’s your question,” said the President
“What’s the fastest thing in the world?”
Without hesitation, he replied
MARK: “A thought,because it takes no time at all.”
PRESIDENT: “Very good answer,”
Next up was George,
PRESIDENT: “What’s the fastest thing in the world?”
GEORGE: “A blink,” replied George “because you don’t think
about a blink. It’s a reflex.”
PRESIDENT: “Good answer.”
Next was Bismark,
PRESIDENT: “What’s the fastest thing in the world?”
Bismark thought for a moment,
BISMARK: “Electricity, because you can flip a switch and 20
miles away a light will go on immediately.”
PRESIDENT: “That’s a great answer,”
Finally, it was Akpors’ turn.
PRESIDENT: “What’s the fastest thing in the world?”.
Scratching his head Akpors replied:
AKPORS: “Running Stomach, because last night after eating,
I was lying on my bed when I got these stomach pains and
before I could think, blink or turn on the light, IT DROPPED.
WHO DO YOU THINK HAS THE BEST ANSWER?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-10 23:04:12

915 Views




For my next trick, I’ll need a blonde volunteer and a condom.Related

Akpos mother told him that when pronouncing a word beginning with the letter "H" he should ignore the "H" as in hour, honor, and honest. The next day when leaving for work, she left a note for Akpos, "Please heat my rice for me." When the mother returned home, he met an empty bowl. He asked Akpos, "Where is my food?" Akpos replied, "You said I should heat the rice for you, but you also instructed me to ignored the `H.`"


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2015-03-04 06:45:06

2411 Views



Osogbo weed [Read it]


When you smoke osogbo weed for the first time







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1590 Views




One word foh dis chicken!







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2015-08-17 10:55:01

863 Views




1pm
The door bell rang. Sonia wasvthe only one at home.
Angela has gone to her shop. David was away in his office.
She wondered who might be at the door.
“Who is there?”she asked
standing close to the door.
“It’s me o” A voice said from outside.
“who?” Sonia asked again.
“Soni you can’t recognise my voice ni?
Sonia smiled and opened the door.
She knew it was Bisi, due to the way she asked her the last question.
She had told Bisi where she now lives.
Bisi her dear friend had no choice than to come and visit her there since she
knew Sonia was always home alone when her employers leave for work.
“Soni you are enjoying here o. you are really enjoying here” Bisi said.
“That’s what you think. but you are wrong my dear” Sonia defended herself.
“hmmmm,soni,if i were in your shoes,i would be very very happy o”
Bisi said as she glanced around the compound.
“Why do you say so?” Sonia asked.
Bisi smile and held her friend.
“You are my friend and i won’t hide anything from you. If i were you, i would get
close to your madam’s husband. you know what i mean” Bisi rolled her eyeballs.
“Do you know what you are saying?” Sonia was calm though.
“You are very pretty my dear, and that is a great asset.
Your mother needs money for her drugs and we know too well that you are a young woman
who wishes to make money like others. This is your chance” Bisi said as if she knew exactly what
she was saying.
Sonia was quiet. she was actually thinking about it.
“But be careful to avoid your madam’s suspicions.
She is a woman and will understand every step you take.
I have to go before they meet me here” Bisi said and left.
Sonia pondered this in her heart. Bisi has been a friend for long.
They had suffered together and so share so many things in common, despite the
fact that they both hailed from different places.
She remembered Ebere who had called her up to take the job as a maid.
Ebere had told her that she will have a discussion with her in four
days time and nobody should know about it.
She wondered what the kind lady might have for her.
“Bisi my dear friend. You may be right but i haven’t got that kind of heart”
she soliloquized as she watched Bisi walk lazily out of the compound


Do you think Sonia will adher to Bisi's advice?
Please drop your comments. Its the only fuel that keeps me going

>>

On coming back home after my basketball practise, i was clad in a white basketball short with a white Los angeles lakers basketball jersey and a white head band branded with miami heat logo, for my mind i was feeling like lebron james with my ball in hand.

I walked past Ahmed who didn’t bother engaging me in any conversation, he knew i was tired. But still he didn’t fail to call me “Oga Sky” beaming a smile at me very colourful with that yellow teeth.

The evening was a bit hazy, as twilight slowly gave way to full blackness of a young night.

I peered through the hazy dim twilight but the white lexus jeep was no longer there anymore.
“Better, she have left. No you for stay more naa”

But as i got closer to the car park, Papa’s huge black infiniti jeep was packed outside.

I tiredly dragged myself inside wearing a long face and hungry to the marrows.
Papa was on the couch watching NTA boring news as usual with his bare stomach protruding like that of a heavily pregnant woman but only that papa’s is broad and not pointed like that of a typical pregnant woman..

“I wonder what attracted Amanda to this man physically, nawa ooo”
“Good evening Dad” i greeted halting in the sitting room to greet papa who smiled as he looked back.

“Nnam welcome, nnoo” papa intoned in igbo, giving me that usual smile that i always like to see.
Could hear clanging sounds of wares from the direction of the kitchen and i knew She was in the kitchen cooking..

Dinner was uneventful and unbearably boring, papa always warned i and jessy never to speak while eating so i had to endure listening to them talk all this trash that i don’t even find funny but yet they laugh.

Amanda kept on stealing glances at me, as i silently and hastily downed my plate of ede soup soup wedded with semovita.
…….

“Leave the door to your room open” a whatsapp message from my step mum read, making me smile evily as my fingers worked on a reply.

“It have never been locked” i replied accompanying it with a naughty devil smiley.

Throwing my phone careless on the bed, i jumped on it stretching my whole frame to cover the bed, looking down occasionally at my semi-hard junior sky below as my mind worked on the possibilities of the night.
Until unknowingly and involuntarily i was dragged by nature to dream land…

I could feel a warm sweet sensation on my thighs and somewhere that feels like my D--k.
It was both cold and warm but a little more intense that both.

My eye lids lazily worked itself open, could make out little shapes in my room.
The bright coloured white wall with golden stiff curtains covering each window, the yellow glow cast by the electric bulb beaming down on me.

I took my face to my crotch area where the strange sensation that woke me up was coming from.
Amanda was on my D--k and i could see her lips wrapped round it as she s----d on it.

“Oh my Gawd. Is this real life or is this one of the dreams” i questioned myself looking down at her with mouth agape, eyes slightly closed yet their was no sleepiness in them anymore.

Her face tilted up, she gave me a relaxing smile and asked me to lie back.
I did as commanded still looked down at what she was doing.
The way she licked the tip, then lick all the way through the side then junior sky would disappear into her mouth only to appear again when she lifts her face taking her lips along leaving my D--k shimmering under the glow casted by the light.

my toes curled hard as i grabbed the bed post hard clenching my teeth as she mesmerized my life with her magic.
“Oh i love you” I started speaking in tongues making her chuckled in a muffled tone induced by the meat in her mouth.

She moved up and crawled on top of me bringing her face to mine and her lips found mine, her tongue delved into mine as i s----d on it and her hand wanked on my D--k sub-consciously.

“Just relax and enjoy the ride” She whispered into my ears as she slowly slid off the nightie short she was wearing and there u have it, she was not even wearing panties.

Her p---y lips seemed swollen and it wasn’t hard to notice little shimmering of it due to her juices.

She got on top of me with junior sky pointing upwards like my oga at the top.
Seating astride me she positioned my D--k at the entrance of her p---y making me moan out in anticipation with my legs jerking like its been hit.

She grabbed my hands and dragged them up to those two beautiful twins on her chest, i attacked them as ferociously as possible with my brains now obviously on a trip to south africa.

Her warmness engulfed me, my face turned pale as i felt her slowly lower her self onto my D--k.
A slight groan escaped my throat making me her smile as she began to ride me.

My eyes closed and opened at interval like Nigerian nepa, my toes curled and my heart beat increased to 100beat per minute.

I watched my D--k disappear and appear as she bounced up and down on me, moving her hips in a circular and kelewa-ish way.
She was fully in possession of me, my mind and body have been possessed fully by this lady and i don’t see any hope of escape.

My groans became faster and a bit louder which she muffled by placing her hands over my mouth.
“Ur dad is sleeping” she whispered to me flashing that spell casting naughty smile.

I was forced over the edge immediately, my whole body convulsed and quaked.
My toes curled hard and my legs shook without control as i blew my load.

Electrifying waves of orgasmic lightning surged through my spine making me clench my teeth hard.

She slowly slumped down into me and her lips found mine again in another explosive kiss leaving me breathless.

“I have to go now” she announced immediately as she slid off me, entered my bathroom and emerged a minute after with her nightie short back in position.

I watched her bundle her angelic heavenly heavy blissful bumz out, blew a kiss to me at the door and disappeared into the hall way.

5 minutes later a whatsapp message entered my phone and it was her;
“You are the best my baby… I will give you 30k tomorrow to do whatever you like with…Goodnight” **kiss smiley**

wooow 30k no be moi-moi” my mind leaped as i smiled to myself…leaping myself up in my lying position
Then all of sudden that odd melancholy feeling over took me again..

“What dah heck are you doing Sky”


>>

Ek garib kishan ka beta jail me tha…

.

us budhe kisan ne apne beteko jail me khat likha:”beta me aalu ki fasal nahi bo sakta,

Itna bada khet mujse nahi khudegakash tu meri madad kar pata..”

.

.

Bete ne wapas jawab diya:”papa aap khet mat khodna, mene waha hathiyar chhupa rakhe hai..

.

Agle din police force ne sara khet khod diya par hathiyar nahi mila…

.

Bete ne fir baap ko likha:”papa yaha se me itni hi madad kar pauga,

Aap ab aalu uga dijiye… :p :O ???? ????

HahahahaRelated

It’s better to step back when ignored… rather than wait to be insulted!Related

Until we can fully grasp the extent of corruption and fraud involved in the administration of the Oil-for-Food program, and until the United Nations decides to cooperate in the investigation, no American taxpayer dollars should go to the United Nations.

-John EnsignRelated

Grace: my daughter
Loveth: mom;why did you not tell me;you are flying back also?
Grace: your dad want to be close to you,so when you left he said he is coming back
Loveth: oh dad;he should stop thinking of me;i am a grown woman now
Grace: i heard you;sweetheart go help me check on the yam at the gas,while i go attend to something upstair
Loveth: no problem mom(she left and turn in a few minutes and find out Loveth was sitting close to the gas but the yam was burning)
Grace: this crazy girl is at it again(she touch her and her she screamed)
Loveth: mom;you frighten me
Grace: what?
Loveth: oh my God(she perceive the smell of burn)i am sorry mom
Grace: is everything alright?
Loveth: yes mom
Grace: what where you thinking
Loveth: nothing mom
Grace: you are lying again. did your husband hurt you again?
Loveth: no mom(she stood to leave)
Grace: did any one annoy you?
Loveth: mom;can you believe it(tears roll her eyes)he did not even wait for a minute before he got married to someone else. i thought he love me
Grace: you are getting me confuse
Loveth: i saw him;he is married with a kid that is close to five years or up to
Grace: Loveth;who are you talking about?
Loveth::superman;he never did love me;he just fooled me
Grace: are you crazy?do you still love him?(she open her mouth and say nothing)go on and tell me
Loveth: mom,no
Grace: be truthful
Loveth: yes;i am been truthful(she walked out of the kitchen)i don't love him anymore
Grace: my daughter is still in love with that man. i just pray that she does commit an abomination with him(curtain)

Luke: mother what are you doing here?
Muriel: since you refuse to go along i will take you there myself
Luke: mom;i am not a kid anymore that you force to do things,i don't want to do
Muriel: i am not forcing you but i am just telling you what is right and i expect you to do the right thing
Luke: fine;i will go with you
Muriel: good
Luke: i just go get my stuff and text Joan;that i went with you
Muriel: thank you;i just text your dad we are coming
Luke: no problem(curtain)

Lucas: son;are you going out?
Jude: yes;do you want anything?
Lucas: no;is just that i want you to be around when your brother comes around
Jude: alright,i don't think i will be around but i just text my wife so she come home on time to prepare something for them
Lucas: thank you son
Jude: anything for you(exit Jude)
Lucas: Liz;where are you up to?
Liz: to the office
Lucas: but my son is coming
Liz: oh!sorry about that;the maid will attend to them
Lucas: alright(exit Liz)what is wrong with this my family?(few hours later knock at the door)where is this girl?(he called the maid and she ran in)
Maid: sir;you called?
Lucas: go get the door;is like my son is here
Maid: alright sir(she open for them)welcome sir
Muriel: thank you;is your boss in?
Maid: yes ma
Muriel: tell him his son is here to see him
Maid: alright(she went in and inform Lucas)you should sit;he will be with you in a while
Muriel: alright(exit Maid)Lucas ask really made money in a large way
Luke: mom;where is he?i want to leave(enter Lucas)
Muriel: will you relax
Lucas: my son(he hugged him)i missed you(Luke pull himself from him)son
Luke: will you stop hugging and calling me your son. is irritating you know
Muriel: Luke
Luke: what is it?
Lucas: i know you are mad at me but i want you to forgive me
Luke: just tell me;why you wanted me here?
Lucas: i want to make up for your lost
Luke: you don't know anything about me,but never mind i will tell you about my humble self. first;i am a medical doctor;a full grown man with a wife and a kid
Lucas: my son;can i meet with them
Luke: just state your reason of wanting me and i will leave
Lucas: i want to love you son(he try to hug him but he withdrawn)son
Luke: please mom;i am out of here
Muriel: come back here(he ignore his mom and walked towards the door and collide with Loveth)
Luke: wash it young woman(he stared at her face and find out is Loveth)you
Loveth: what are you doing here?
Luke: i should be asking you;what you are doing here?
Loveth: this is my husband's father house
Luke: and this is my father's house
Loveth: what?
Lucas: what is going on there?
Loveth: sir;is me
Lucas: Loveth;come on and meet my son
Luke: shit(he walked back and drag his mother out)
Lucas: Muriel;what is happen to my son?(Loveth stood motionless wonder;while Lucas lament)
Maid: ma(she touch Loveth)are you back
Loveth: yes
Maid: are you okay?
Loveth: yes i am fine(she hurry upstair)dad;i...i ....will me back in a few minutes(exit Loveth)
Maid: why is she like that?sir;do you want anything?
Lucas: no
Maid: alright sir(curtain)

Muriel: son;are you crazy?why did you dragged me out like that?
Luke: i am sorry but i just can't stand it anymore
Muriel: what cant you stand?
Luke: did you see her?
Muriel: who?
Luke: Loveth;she is the wife of your husband's son
Muriel: i don't get you;which.....oh my God;is it that girl again
Luke: mom;i can't lie to you;i just cant keep it in anymore. i still.......(Muriel slapped him)mother
Muriel: you are despicable. just stop the car,i want to get down
Luke: hold on mom
Muriel: don't provoke me(he stop and she get down and get a cab)
Luke: what does she think i want to tell her?that i still love Loveth. mother;her thought is so deep. why should i still be in love with someone who betray me. woman and their thinking(curtain)


Loveth: is he really saying the fact?yes;he is because dad refer to him as his son. i cant believe that i fell in love with two brothers. what do i do now?should i tell Jude that superman is his brother?no i won't,i don't want him to get mad at me.(back to the sitting room)
Liz: Lucas;did they come
Lucas: yes;but that son of mine is something else
Jude: dad;how did my brother look like?
Maid: sir; he is very handsome and any woman can fall in love with him from the very first time
Liz: really
Maid: yes ma and he talk cool
Jude: no one is asking you;just quiet
Maid: sorry sir(she walked away)
Jude: dad;when are they coming back?
Lucas: i don't know but it seems my son is mad at me
Liz: don't worry;he will come around soon
Lucas: i hope so
Jude: i will talk to him dad
Lucas: thank son
Jude: where is my wife?
Lucas: upstairs
Jude: alright;i go to her(he walked away)
Liz: let me go prepare something for dinner
Lucas: alright(back to Loveth)
Loveth: Loveth don't keep secret from him(enter Loveth)i will just tell him
Jude: what do you want to tell me?
Loveth: your brother came today
Jude: did you see him?(his phone rung)excuse me(he went to receive his call and return)Loveth;i want to take you somewhere
Loveth: really
Jude: of cause
Loveth: okay;i go dress up
Jude: alright(curtain)


Alex: Luke;your mom said i should come talk some sense into you
Luke: my mom;keep thinking i am still a baby. i am an adult
Alex: then behavior like one
Luke: how do one behavior like an adult?tell me
Alex: by leaving the past in the past
Luke: i don't understand
Alex: you told your mom,'you are still in love with Loveth(he laughed)why?
Luke: my mom is funny. i said,'i still.....and she jump to conclusion that i am still in love with Loveth
Alex: then what do you want to say if not that?
Luke: i saw her in my supposed dad's house and she claim to be my brother's wife.
Alex: what?the boy that punch you is your brother
Luke: i still don't believe it. i don't want to think that it is real because i don't think i can bring myself to accept him as a brother
Alex: Luke;go back to that house and see if it is true
Luke: i just pray that my brother's name is not Jude
Alex: i just pray so too because i don't want you two to fight
Luke: and i don't want to fight anyone especially not with my brother

Joan: how was your visit?
Luke: not pleasant at all
Joan: maybe you should go on a week with the family
Luke: i will go alone
Joan: please;at least i will meet my husband's father
Luke: alright,i want to apologies for yelling at you the other day
Joan: is okay;
Luke: thank you;i want to tell you something i saw when i got to my dad's house
Joan: what is that?
Luke: i saw Loveth and she said she is my brother's wife
Joan: what?what a small world?
Luke: is really a small world
Joan: why are you telling me?
Luke: is because i don't want to lie to you and i don't want you to find out without me telling you
Joan: alright;i know you wouldn't do anything stupid
Luke: okay;where is my love?
Ruth: here i am dad
Luke: come sit close to dad
Ruth: dad are you still mad at mom?
Luke: of cause not
Ruth: then hug mom
Luke: naught girl(he hugged Joan and peck Ruth)i love you both(curtain)





SEE MORE....


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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“ Never surrender your hopes and
dreams to the fateful limitations
others have placed on their own
lives. The vision of your true
destiny does not reside within
the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and the doom
prophets. Judge not by their
words, but accept advice based
on the evidence of actual
results. Do not be surprised
should you find a complete absence of anything mystical or
miraculous in the manifested
reality of those who are so eager
to advise you. Friends and
family who suffer the lack of
abundance, joy, love, fulfillment and prosperity in their own
lives really have no business
imposing their self-limiting
beliefs on your reality
experience.#Lobatan #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Persistent questioning and healthy inquisitiveness are the first requisite for acquiring learning of any kind.

~ Mahatma GandhiRelated

Ek Se Silsile Hain Sab Hijr Kee Rut Bata Gayi;

Phir Wahi Subah Aayegi Phir Wahi Sham Aa Gayi;

Mere Lahoo Mein Jal Uthe Utne Hi Taza Dam Chirag;

Waqt Kee Sazishi Hawa Jitne Diye Bujha Gayi!Related

IF I DIE [Read it]


**that day when dem announce buhari as winner of the presidential election,con see as aboki been dey perform for alaba rago,and on that faithful day,I dey alaba rago,as them the aboki dey celebrate na so them play terry g-akpako,then con start to dey shout "kai- nack am afako"..I think say them dey play until dem start to display am..d song con change to ori mimu o elagimo..omo,aboki start to carry kpako dey nack each other o,I say nobody tell me I jump enter bike...**not knowing say na aboki bike I enter..as we dey go I tell am "aboki see motor o",he say "oga no froblem,I be fropetional 4 dis job walahi",e no tey I tell am "aboki see trailer!!",na so he sing "ip I die,make you no cry por me,oga no be so?"..na so I halla "aa,aboki drop me,I never ready to die"...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-12 00:39:44

471 Views




Every time you talk to your wife, you should remember that…

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“This conversation will be recorded for your Training and Quality monitoring purpose. And it can be used against you
even after 30 years!”Related

for the next two to three hour.i was
still battling with my thought on
what to do.i had no friend around
that i can call on.for an assistant.i
wouldn’t had bothered myself if it
was only my so called mother
involved.she is wicked.if there was
another name for wickedness.i
would have use it on her.i would
have allow the gang to do whatever
they wish to do with her.she
never.showed me motherly
love.since my jss1.nor any genuie
advise as a mother.all she care was
to demand for money every time as
if she gave me any money to keep
for her.she likes material things
more than her own son.it was only
my father that took care of my well
beeing through out my 0level.plus
my small little savings that helped
me in the university…although she is
still my mother.i can’t allow her to
die in the hand of those hearthless
men.including my sister and
expecially my charity.ooh noo.it
can’t happen.is either jc kill me or i
kill him. non of them will die.i can’t
afford to loss charity and my only
sister.but as for my mother.her case
is by the way.
JC’s advise was still ringing in my
head.DON’T CALL THE COPS IF YOU
STILL WANT TO SEE ANY OF THEM
AGAIN.but how does he expect me
not to call the cops in this kind of
situation.
Noo.i will go with his advise.i won’t
call the any cops.i’m the one the
brought the mess upon myself.so
i’m gonna clean the mess alone.even
though i will die at the process.i
won’t mind.but i promise Jc.i won’t
die alone.
I searched for my pistol and found it
under the bed.were i hide it from
charity.to avoid questions from
her.that i won’t like to answer.
I know i didn’t tell you guys that i
had a pistol.don’t ask me how i got
it.coz that will be a story for another
day.*wink*
i took the well loaded pistol.stared
at it.and called jc’s name three
times.i kept it under the matress.coz
someone might come in and caught
me with it.i don’t have any genuie
answer to give to the police.on what
i was doing with a gun.they might
even accuse me of a crime that i
didn’t even plain to do.that is our
police for you.some times they are
unpredictable.so the best thing is to
avoid there wahala..
I checked the time.it was 6:30pm.i
only have some hours left.i started
preparing for the adventure ahead of
me.the adventure that i never know
whether i will come back alive or
death.my survival is in the hand of
the almight God.
No need to bath.so i just wore a
jean trouser and T.shirt.with all-star
shoe that i bought some days back.i
took the pistol that was under the
matress.i layed the gun at the back
of the clothe that i wore.i covered it
very well so that it won’t be notice.i
stood for a while.i looked up and
said a short prayer with tears in my
eyes.
God.i don’t know what my fate will
be in this deadly adventure.please
be with me.i know that you will
never turn your back on your
son.but if i don’t survive it.i beg you
to forgive and take me with
you.AMEN.
After the short prayer.i took my bag
and left the hotel room.the people at
the reception.were banging me with
alot of questions.but i paid deaf ear
and left.i took a bike and we zoomed
off to the park.were i could get a bus
that will take me to my town.we got
to the park.i paid the bike man.and
luckly. without wasting much time.i
got a bus that was going to my
town.some minutes later.the bus
took off.
1hour later. we got to my home
town.i paid and came
down.immediately.my heart was
beating very hard.like some one that
was sentenced to life
imprisonment.beside what is the
different between life imprisonment
and this adventure.i started walking
to the venue that Jc gave to me(heart
still beating faster).i boarded like
two bike.before i could reach the
destination.checked the time.it was
almost 9pm in the evening.every
were was already dark.but i kept
going with the help of the touche
light i came with.i stroll to the deep
forest that was describe to me by
Jc.it was hard locating the area.for
another one hour.i was searching to
the road that lead to the forest.i
checked the discribtion that he sent
to me.and another thirty minutes.i
finally found the road.i pulled the
pistol out from my trouser.and was
moving slowly.fear was writting all
over my body.i was sweating and
panting very hard.
I walked for like 20 minutes.in that
dark forest.i don’t know why Jc took
them to the forest.instead of his
house we normal meet.i looked up.to
continue the journey.the next thing i
heard was.a voice from behinde
.which says..
YOU FINALLY MADE IT MR
FRESH.before i could turn to the
direction of the voice.i felt something
like a syringe that i didn’t auspicate
flew into my neck.i quickly made to
remove the hand that held the
syringe.but it was too late.the
syringe release all the liquid content
on my neck..immediately.i loss
balance.every were became more
dark to me.i couldn’t see any other
thing.i loss concious.and fell
down.that was the only thing i could
remember.

Drop Your Comment

>>

I Love You. [Read it]


Saying “I love you” is a monumental step. But can you
express it without saying it outright? Here are 13 ways
to express your love without using words.
In this day and age, the profession of love has taken the
form of a narcissistic attention-grabber. You might have
seen at least one of the countless viral videos featuring flash mob
wedding proposals, or elaborately-staged skits for some dude to
confess his feelings for a girl he has liked since elementary school.
Nowadays, it seems romanticism screams to be heard and will, at
times, demand an audience to be appreciated.
Taking a different approach
There is a kind of love that is silent but true—the kind that doesn’t
scream for attention, but whispers gently. That is the kind of love
that is felt even if it goes unsaid. We are all familiar with the
saying “Actions speak louder than words.” Here are some simple,
yet meaningful gestures to let your actions show your special
someone that you truly care.
#1 LISTEN FULLY & SINCERELY.
Communication is the backbone of a strong relationship and
communication is not possible if you don’t listen. It could be
something as simple as listening to your partner when they tell you
how their day went, or listening to something you might find
uninteresting or repetitive. So just sit back, don’t interrupt, and
listen—even if you’ve heard the story many times over.
#2 MAKE OUT TIME.
Time is the most precious thing you can offer to a person you love.
The gesture becomes more meaningful if you give what little time
you have left for yourself to your significant other. Giving them the
best of your time, even if you have a tight schedule, makes them
feel loved and prioritized.
#3 BE PATIENT
There are times that your partner may act or think irrationally. This
could mean that they are under stress, or going through something
difficult that you are unaware of. If this happens,give them some
space, and don’t become confrontational. If your partner snaps at
you for no reason, stay calm, and offer a smile and a reassuring
hug.
#4 SURPRISE THEM
. You don’t need a special occasion to surprise your special
someone, nor does the surprise need to be expensive or elaborate.
Small surprises such as a hearty breakfast after waking up from an
exhausting night, or taking over some chores could make your
special someone feel loved. Maybe you could send her flowers and
a note one day just for the heck of it, or let your partner arrive
home to find packed bags and tickets for an impromptu vacation.
#5 STAY IN TOUCH
. As mentioned above, communication is an essential part of a
strong relationship. Staying in touch doesn’t mean just staying
updated with what the other is doing, but making a conscious
effort to be involved with your significant other and their daily
goings-on. Send a quick
text to let your partner know you are thinking of her, or slip a brief
note into your partner’s pocket.
#6 MASSAGE.
There is nothing more comforting than your partner giving you a
soothing massage or foot rub after a long day. You could use this
time to catch up and chat or, if you’re the daring type, you could
escalate the harmless physical therapy into something more e----c.
#7 KISSES & HUGS.
Physical forms of affection *such as a surprise kiss or hug* never
fail to make your special someone feel loved even without saying,
“I love you.” Using these in random, mundane situations will also
increase their significance. Your display of affection could be
something as simple as a kiss before going to work, or a
welcoming hug when your partner comes home after a long day.
You could also ambush your partner with a spooning hug when
you come across them in the hallway, or randomly give your lover
a peck while doing chores together.
#8 TAKE PART IN THEIR INTERESTS.
Couples often have activities that their significant other finds
boring and uninteresting. Sometimes, they might abandon these
activities for your sake. So why not turn the tables and surprise
your partner by taking part in their interests—even if you’re not
into it? Not only do you send the message that you’re willing to do
something you hate, you also get in some good bonding time. Who
knows? You might discover that the activity is agreeable, after all.
#9 C00K.
For many working partners, cooking is something done on special
occasions such as Christmas and Thanksgiving, or during
weekends when you have more time. Cooking your partner’s
favorite meal *or something they’ve been craving* would make
both them and their
stomach feel loved. There’s a wealth of ideas for preparing special
meals: you could make a hearty breakfast, a lunch box with a love
note, or a candle-lit dinner ready to eat when your partner returns
from work. You don’t need to be an expert chef, but you could take
it one step further by practicing the recipe until you’ve perfected it.
#10 D0 THE CHORES YOU BOTH HATE DOING.
In this case, express your love in the form of a sweet surrender.
Lovers living together often have that one chore that both avoid
doing as much as possible. It could be cleaning up the pet’s litter,
taking the dog to the vet, taking out the trash, or airing out and
cleaning up the basement. Surprise your
partner by taking the initiative and doing said nasty chore—and
reap the rewards of their affection.
#11 D0 SIMPLE FAVOURS
. Similar to the previous point, you could express your care by
doing stuff that they’ve forgotten or set aside due to their
schedule. Perhaps a broken phone needs to be sent to the tech
shop, or a laptop needs rebooting, or bills need filing, or something
they’ve forgotten needs to be delivered. Demonstrate that you’re a
reliable partner who can cover for them in times of need.
#12 SUPPORT THEM.
Real support is not only encouraging, but makes your presence felt
regardless of how your relationship might turn out. Supporting your
partner includes giving encouragement when they are indoubt,
providing your wisdom by either approving or dissenting opinion,
and being there to comfort them in times of failure.
#13 18+.
This is pretty self-
explanatory. s-x is the most intimate form of bonding in existence,
and you can make it more special by taking the lead and learning
new bedroom tricks. You could do something simple by trying new
kinks from the s-x shop,engaging in role-play, or having s-x in new
and exciting
places to rekindle your passion for each other.
NB
True love is in the small details, and can be conveyed by simple
gestures. You do not need to spend a lot of money or come up
with fancy gimmicks to make your partner feel
loved. As long as you’re there and they know that they can rely on
you to keep them safe and happy, rest assured that you will be
expressing your love without words.
*
*
*
THANKS FOR READING
*
*
LOVE YOU ALL


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Frank: man oh ma! you shouldn't be putting up such kind of face now that your son is back. throw him a party to welcome and show God that you appreciate what he did for you
Jackson: words will not be enough to express what i feel but in a real sense;i felt like i have lost my son
Frank: i don't understand
Jackson: he is standing in front of me yet it seems to me;it is not him. he is so different;he had so much anger in him;so much pain. it looks like the only thing he love;he lost it all because of us. he is disappointed
Frank: but why?
Jackson: i don't know;all i know is that deep down in him;he wished he never did return
Frank: what is wrong with him?
Jackson: anger and in his eyes betrayer
Frank: i still don't understand
Jackson: don't worry;just get back to work
Frank: alright

Stephanie: mom;why are you dress up?
Monalisa: we are paying the Jackson's a visit
Stephanie: what for?
Monalisa: to thank them
Stephanie: is it necessary?
Monalisa: it is because they were the ones whom wanted to complete the money for your ransom
Stephanie: really?but that is no business of mine because they decided to do it voluntarily not under compulsion

Monalisa: what is wrong with you
Stephanie: nothing;if you want t do it then do it yourself. excuse me
Monalisa: will you come back here
Stephanie: what?
Monalisa: go dress up and stop battling words with me and make sure you respect yourself
Stephanie: i know;that is the only thing you all know how to do to me
Monalisa: will you get out of here
Stephanie: i will

Blessing: mom this movie is really interesting
Mercy: it would had been more funny;if we had see it at the cinema
Beauty: ma Mercy;you always like going out
Mercy: of cause;going out make you social and stop calling me;ma. just address me as your big sister
Beauty: really
Rose: of cause and you can call me mom
Beauty: yes ma
Janet: where is Desmond
Jackson: he should be in his room.oh here he comes
Blessing: trouble;excuse me all. i have to go to my room(she stand to leave)

Desmond: where are you going?(he stand in front of her)cant you talk
Blessing: i just want to go to my room
Desmond: fine;suite yourself(she turn to leave and he dragged her back)
Blessing: do you want to hit me?
Rose: what is going on there
Desmond: nothing
Beauty: i think my mom needs me
Rose: stay right here
Blessing: leave me alone (he let go of her)thanks

Desmond: be sincere with yourself;you miss me right
Blessing: no i dont;i missed my brother not you
Desmond: and who am i?
Blessing: i don't know(he smiled)naught you;will you come here(both hug)i missed you
Desmond: i missed you too
Blessing: everyone brother is back
Desmond: i am sorry dad;that i reacted badly. i wasn't in a good mood
Jackson: really son?
Desmond: yes dad;something was disturbing me but i shouldn't have taken it out on you all
Jackson: i understand but are you alright now
Desmond: um...yes;i am fine i am okay now
Mercy: you sure about that kid brother

Desmond: am fine;stop acting like you are older than me with so many years
Mercy: am sorry;i wasn't really been a good big sister to you
Desmond: is okay;we all are given a second chance t right our wrong
Janet: exactly son
Rose: you have forgiven everyone what about me
Desmond: i will go get myself a drink

Rose: son please forgive me. i hurt you too too many times;i know i wont be able to make up for the lost years;i cant promise to be a perfect mother from now but i am going to make sure that i will make you cry again

Desmond: it seems you have forgotten my age. i will remind you;i am twenty;not five; not ten;not even fifteen;i am too old for that;give it to those whom need it and stop calling me your son because is irritating
Rose: forgive me;i beg you. no matter how old you are,you are still my baby
Desmond: really?where did those love come from?

Jackson: son;give your mom a chance. she truly love you
Desmond: truly love me(he laughed)you are funny. she love you not me. i hate you(he try to hug him)will you let go of me(he pushed her and she fall)

Blessing: Desmond;what is wrong with you?
Rose: you are hurting me
Desmond: Stephie;i am sorry
Mercy: Stephie?
Desmond: shit...i am sorry mom;really sorry
Rose: can i get a hug
Desmond: of cause(she hug him closely)i love you mom
Rose: i love you too son
Monalisa: whoa!it seems you all are having a nice reunion
Jackson: i am glad that you honor my invitation
Monalisa: i wont missed it for anything in the world
Rose: you welcome. my daughter;how are you?
Stephanie: i am fine. good day sir
Jackson: how are you?
Stephanie: i am fine sir. Blessing(they hug)
Blessing: i missed you
Stephanie: i am sorry that I take your brother away from you for so long
Blessing: is okay;i can see that my brother take good care of you. tell me;are you two couples now
Desmond: are you crazy?why would we be couples?
Blessing: is simple;you love her
Desmond: i don't love her
Blessing: i know you do
Desmond: i don't;i cant fall in love with a victim of attempted rape
Jackson: will you keep quiet

Stephanie: yes;tell everyone that i am a victim of attempted rape and you are a superhero. its fine by me. i am such a fool to think that you are prefect;now i know better. i wont be here if my mom didn't force me. i have heard enough of this rubbish;i am out of here
Monalisa: young lady come back here(she pull her back) you stay right here
Stephanie: we don't have to be friends with this family and if it is because of the money they gave to you?didn't really use it;so give it to they and if you don't have it,i will just pay when i start working

Monalisa: are you crazy?
Stephanie: i am not;i just want to get out of here
Monalisa: quiet
Stephanie: if don't;what will you do?
Monalisa: what will i do?
Stephanie: yes mom(she slap her) mom you slap me
Monalisa: and i will do it over and over again if you don't stop being a spoil brat
Stephanie: i said i am out of here(she slap her again)mom;you never did slap me before now and how you are hurting me(she ran out)
Monalisa: i am sorry my baby
Janet: is okay;i will talk to her
Rose: is okay

Desmond: who asked you to come here?why do you have come here?you;what are you doing there?
Beauty: nothing i will just go ahead
Desmond: am i a monster
Beauty: no;excuse me
Desmond: if i am not then why are you leaving?
Beauty: nothing
Desmond: then don't leave
Beauty: i wont
Desmond: thank you

Blessing: Desmond
Desmond: what?
Blessing: mother;as asked ma Monalisa to allow Stephie stay with us for a week
Desmond: and what did she say?
Blessing: she agreed even when Stephie refuse
Beauty: so she is staying
Blessing: of cause;for an entire week

Desmond: what is wrong with mom?why did she agree to that bullshit?
Blessing: is not mom that agree to it;it was she that instituted the bullshit
Beauty: but why?
Blessing: she said she want to make it up to her
Desmond: is she her daughter
Blessong: i don't know. go ask her that yourself. excuse me

Desmond: i hate everything here,i am always getting irritated. i wish i never did return
Beauty: does it mean you don't like us
Desmond: no;i just want a quiet time beauty: alright

Janet: my daughter why are you crying?
Stephanie: mom;doesn't love me anymore
Janet: your mom did love you that is why when you got missing she almost died
Stephanie: is not true if she does she wont have hurt me
Janet: she want yo make you a better person;she doesn't want you to be rude to older ones
Stephanie: i did not mean to be rude. is just that i hate it when she ask me to live here
Janet: is alright i understand;don't you love us
Stephanie: i do but....
Janet: why the but?is so bad that my grandson friend doesn't love us
Stephanie: oh grandma;i love you. alright i will be a good girl as long as i stay here
Janet: thank you sweet
Stephanie: i love you
Janet::lets go to the dinning




NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Continues..
First time in my life I saw melissa fall on the floor when fighting that was as a result of the kick one of them gave her on her stomach. Because of that the rest girls came in. Melissa,Annabella, Vanessa,Melinda, Linda, Nyssa, Carley, Nikky,Nora,Bernita,Zoe,Joan and Anita, fought so well and defeated them
Me:that was tough uh? I am so so sorry
Melissa:yeah it was. Theres nothing to be sorry about.
Me:are you okay?
Melissa:yes(raising me up then whispered something in my ears”why didn’t you tell me that this b-----d raped you twice in hours?”)
Me:how did you find out?
Melissa:just forget about it. Vanessa and Annabella untied Preston and Presley.
As soon as Preston was untied he ran to hug me
Preston:thank God brenden didn’t succeed. Thank you Melissa
Melissa:its just my duty.(smiling)
Presley and Miranda were not left out. They kissed and hugged over and over again. We went out of the warehouse and saw that the guys who took us there were beaten up. Me:melissa how did you know we were here?
Melissa:I knew his stubborn you were so I placed a tracking device on your hair.
Me:what!when?
Melissa:when Cassey shot you and was in the hospital(flashback to when I and she alone was in the room and placed it in the bottom of my hair. It was like a tape)
Me:wow I don’t know whether to get angry or say thank you but thank you
Melissa:its okay
Me:wait a minute does that mean you have been listening and seeing me all these while? Did you see when Brenden tried kissing me which resulted in bleeding and I was taken to the hospital to the bank to withdrew money an…
Melissa:and you arguing with the accountant and running even when your life was at stake and you following Preston to his parents house during the holiday and how you went about spending your father’s money save your strength girl I saw everything.(giving us our phones then left with the rest girls)
Me:what a girl!.
We left the place and arrive home 11pm at night. Thank God what we Left in the car was still how we came to meet it. We didn’t celebrate what we bought home we only took our baths and went straight to bed.
The next day we decided to go to the campus fellowship.
We for ready and left. Immediately we entered inside the church, everybody stared at us for some minutes as if we were wanted criminals. Soon we sat down and a man stood at the altar and introduced himself as pastor Clinton. Before he could say praise the lord, the door opened wide someone must have pushed it with force. Immediately the door sprang wide we saw it was Brenden who had pushed it. They were eleven in number and Brenden stood at the middle. They wore black throughout except for the white wolf design and the back of their shirts. Immediately fear gripped me. Preston noticed this and placed his fingers in the spaces of mine
Preston:its okay. Nothing will happen
Miranda:are you sure?they are eleven and we are just four
Preston:I am sure.
To be continued


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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MTN NEW 3.3GB Works PERFECTLY WELL!!
FROM SEPTEMBER 2015 TILL FOREVER! MTN
CAN
NEVA Block this one!!
Buy a new mtn sim, Dial *222# or 3.3gb to
131. after
that just follow this Steps-
Get red, white n black clothes, tie red on your
head,Black on your waist and white on your
leg.
Wake up by exactly 1am, Go to a place where
3
footpath meet,Shout mtn 7 times, Then say
give me
3.3gb for 6 months........
Watch what will happen.
Check your acct with *131*2#....Thank me
later....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-16 10:00:33

391 Views



who is mad? [Read it]


Post Body

Abeg you guys should see something, I was taking a walk one evening then one madman was walking to a shop to collect bread,then the shop owner just started driving the madman away and was insult him aski him if he Is mad,crazy and out of his senses.The question now is who is mad between the two persons.
d shop owner or d madman


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-09 18:27:59

190 Views




Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.

-Robert FrostRelated

Chinese Names [Read it]


A chinese man got married to a white woman...
On their first issue.. They gave birth to a black child.. The man saw the child and said to his wife... Something is wrong.. We need a specail name for this child, this is not proper... Something is wrong..
So he called the child.. "SOM TIN WONG"





%Nazature...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-02 17:11:13

569 Views



story time [Read it]


it was the last period on friday which is a story time. the students told their stories according to their seating arrangement and it was the turn of the boy occupying de last seat ''APKOS'' he started; ''one day a man climbed a very tall tree, he he lost touch and now he x falling with full speed! he came down, down, down, down......closing tym please! de bell boy announced. nxt moday maths period, suddnly apkos shouted BUMM!! nd de man falld


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-13 01:06:35

467 Views



Plantains [Read it]


Teacher: Akpos, spell plantain
Akpos: whish one? the lipe one or the unlipe one?
He asks "Which one? The ripe one or the unripe one?", some
people (like me) have trouble with the 'r', and with some people,
it sounds like an 'l'
Teacher: what difference does it make? Just spell plantain!
Akpos: Teasha, If you fly the lipe one na 'DODO',
if you fly the unlipe one na 'SHIPS'
if you loast am, na 'BORLI'
All of them na plantain,
so whish one you wan make I spell?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-01 19:19:06

700 Views




1. Chich: Hw much do u love me?
Akpos: My heart is a mobile & you are its SIM.
chich: oh God. I am so lucky.
Akpos: she doesn`t knw that my mobile is dual sim

2. In a party Akpos Asked a Girl "Are you Goin to Dance?"
She felt so happy and said-yes
Akpos Said-"That`s Good, So Can I have your Chair?

3. Akpos asked the barber “How much for a haircut?”
Barber: “N500".
Akpos: “And how much for a shave?"
Barber: N50 sir.
Akpos: Very well, shave my head

4. Teacher: Akpos, assuming you were at a bus stop and Boko Haram throws a bomb. What will you do?
Akpors: I will just stop assuming…..

5. TEACHER: If I have 6 bottles in one hand & 5 in the other, what do I have?
AKPOS: A drinking problem

6. TEACHER: Why did you bring a rope to the Exam hall?
AKPOS: My dad told me to SKIP the questions I don`t know

7. OCHUKO: Akpos, why do u keep saying `Good Morning Sir` to the mirror?
AKPOS: Last nite, Ekaette told me to respect myself

8. Spelling Mistake Destroy Akpos Life,
Akpos Sent this to His Wife "i`m having a Wonderful time wish u were HER".
Retweet if u get it!

9. EKAETTE: Honey, where are you going with a Spanner?
AKPOS: To the Bank, I want to open an Account

10. EKAETTE: Akpos Darling give me a pet name, u know we will get married soon..
AKPOS: Zebra..
EKAETTE: Why?..
AKPOS: because of ur stretch marks

11. TEACHER: If a person from Nigeria is a Nigerian, then what`s a person from Holland called?.. AKPOS: Hollandia


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-05 15:40:34

4486 Views



Nigerian Blood [Read it]


An Arab was admitted in the Hospital
for a heart operation, but prior to the
surgery the doctors needed to store his
blood in case the need arises. As the
gentleman had a rare type of blood, it
couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to the neighbouring towns. Finally, a Nigerian was located who had
a similar type of blood. The Nigerian
willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the
Nigerian, as an appreciation, a new
range rover sports car, diamonds, jewelries, and one million US dollars. Once again, the Arab had to go through
a corrective surgery. His doctor
telephoned the Nigerian who was more
than happy to donate his blood again.
After a successful surgery, the Arab sent
the Nigerian a thank you card and a box of cake and sweets. The Nigerian was
shocked to see that the Arab this time
did not reciprocate his kind gesture as
he had anticipated. He phoned
the Arab and told him, "I thought this
time you would give me a Hummer Jeep, Diamonds and Jewelries. But you
gave me only a card and a box cake and
sweets." The Arab replied, "I can't help it, now I
have Nigerian blood running in my
veins."
#BOLLY_SMART ?? ? ? ? ? ??™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-18 02:13:59

377 Views




I smell


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very nice after a bath. Even you should try it sometime!Related

family matter [Read it]


A black man and white man were seated on plane. The black man had a bunch of banana, while the white man had a monkey. The black man wanted to go to the toilet, he said to the white man "please watch over my bananas, while am gone".

He went, came back and found out that the bananas were all gone. The white man pointed at the monkey and said, "your brother the monkey ate all of them". The black man with a smile said nothing. Minutes later, the white man said, "please hold my monkey while I pee".

He came back and met the monkey dead. He asked the black man what happened and he replied "this is a family matter, please stay out of it!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-30 08:20:37

197 Views



THE CREDIT CARD [Read it]


A woman went shopping... at the cash
counter, she opened her purse to pay.
The cashier noticed a TV remote in her
purse. He couldn't control his curiosity
and asked, "Do you always carry your TV
remote with you?" She replied, "No, not always, but my
husband refused to accompany me for
shopping today." The shopkeeper laughs and takes back
all the items the lady had purchased.
Shocked at this act, she asks the
shopkeeper what he was doing. He said, "Your husband has blocked
your credit card." MORAL: Respect the hobbies of your
husband. Wife took out her husband's credit card
from her purse and uses it to clear all
the bills. Unfortunately, he didn't block
his own card. MORAL: Don't underestimate the power
of a WIFE.
#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-29 21:23:33

406 Views




Three guys were gisting at a beer parlour. The first guy said when my wife was pregnant she was reading a book; a tale of two cities and she gave birth to twins.
The second said his wife was reading the three musketeers and she gave birth to triplets.
The third guy dropped his beer bottle and started running home. When they got to his house they saw him burning a book and they asked why.
He said his wife was reading Ali Baba and the forty thieves and she is pregnant……not in this house ……it can not happen!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-24 12:22:37

664 Views




JOKE PART 26 BY DINDY
Girl: Dindy, do you know how to make a girl blush?.
Dindy: Yes i do.
Girl: Really?.
Dindy: I've made my little sis blush alot.
.
Girl smiles sexily
.
Girl: Ok.
Girl: Make me blush.
.
...Dindy smiles then gives her a dirty slap..
.
Girl: OMG!(crying).
Dindy: See now you will blush.
.
Looks at Dindy with a red cheek then slaps Dindy back......lol.
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 27.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-12 22:48:47

194 Views




When i wanted to pray, i gave her something like a scarf to put on her head and we continue watching the film after my prayer. I lost interest in the film when i realized there were so many sex scenes in the film even though she tried to talk me through it. She left my room close to 7pm when someone called her that he is waiting for her by her entrance.
Over the next few days, the thought of all i heard from Esther didn’t get out of my mind, could it be true that brother Ismaeel is a womanizer? I don’t have evidence and i cant judge him. What is even the tendency that Esther didn’t tell me all that just to cause problem between me and my brother. They might be jealous of our closeness and for her to tell me all those stuff but the question was, when she accused Ezekiel of coming to check on his crime partner he didn’t respond. I tried to take note of Ismaeel movement over these weeks but it was definitely opposite of what Esther told me. In fact i did it to the extent of watching the relationship between him and Angela but from my observation, they were sworn enemy. They always argue with each other and there was a time there argument almost turn to fight one evening like that.
As the semester was coming to an end, i don’t really know how it happened that I and Esther that we started getting close to each other. Close to each other in terms of talking about personal stuff from life, experiences and academics. I started enjoying her company but i knew my limit, i can never subject myself to body contact with her. I realized Esther respected me a lot and my conversation with her actually change her perception about Alfa who keep beards and doesn’t allow their trouser to touch ground.
First semester exam was already here and gone, i wouldn’t lie that it was a tedious task for me combining all my activities together, i nearly broke down during the exam but i Thank God for the strength during the exam. The major cause of it was that our exam period coincides with when IJMB exam was fixed so the student in my coaching class needed me more at that very time and there was no substitute for me at that particular time. From class to class tutorials, to mosque tutorial and my coaching class.
It was during 200level second semester exam period i met Aisha in the mosque, even though she has always been constant in tutorial class but we hardly talk to each other aside greeting. Aisha was a 200level finance student, the first thing that happened was that we exchanged number and she started calling to find about my well being at every point in time. Aisha will call me early in the morning, afternoon and evening before going to bed. I didn’t count it as anything though as i believe it was normal friendship.
Esther noticed the number that always call me and there was a time she enquired about who she was and i told her everything and it was from her that she i learnt that definitely she has interest in me. I shrug it off and made her understand that i was not ready for something like that but i see her as a friend though. Sincerely i like her as a person because she was so nice to me but i never invited her to my house for once.
Ester disturbed me so many times that she wanted to know who the lady was that i should invite her over to our house but i always decline. I don’t want a situation i will invite her and she will be feeling maybe i also have something for her. This lovely Saturday afternoon, i was inside my room when my phone started ringing, it was Esther on the screen of the phone “Alfa, please come to my house now, its very urgent, i have something important to show you”, that was all she said on phone as she cut the call immediately.
I started wondering what was it that she wanted to show me that she sounded so urgent on phone, i never thought of any negative thing as i believe we are already so close and we are more like brother and sisters now. I knocked on her door


>>

My Car Key [Read it]


After a meeting, I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets.
A quick search in the meeting room, it wasn't there too. Suddenly, I realized I must have left them in the car.
My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is the car will be stolen.
Immediately I rushed to the parking lot, I came to a terrifying conclusion. His theory was right! The parking lot was empty! I immediately called the police.
I gave them my location, description of the car, place I parked etc...
I equally confessed that I had left my keys in the car and that the car had been stolen.
Then 20 minutes later, I made the most difficult call of all, to my husband, "Honey", I stammered; (I always call him "honey" in times like these.) "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
There was a period of silence.
I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.
"Idiot!" he shouted, "I dropped you at the hotel!" Now it was my time to be silent.
Embarrassed, I said, "Well, then please come and get me." He shouted again, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-03 16:33:33

5607 Views



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