Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

So annoying guy [Read it]


Assuming you are watching football match at a
viewing centre, Chelsea vs Man U.
A guy just walked in and sat next to you and the
following conversation ensue:
D guy: Bros how far? Na match them dey play?
You: Yes nau. Shebi na im u dey watch.
D guy: Ok. Abeg who dey play?
You: Na im be dat na. Chelsea vs Man U.
D guy: oh ok. Abeg who wear blue?
You: Na chelsea wear blue.
D guy: owk who com wear red?
You: oooh c am nau, na man u.
D guy: owk no vex. Ehm bros na 1st half abi
second half.
You: chai guy na wa 4 u o. Na 1st half nau. C
am, na 20minutes bros.
D guy: oh ok. Bros abeg wetin be scores?
You: come guy. Na 0-0 na. shebi na im we dey
watch.
D guy: oh oh oh ok 0-0. . Abeg who cum get
zero?
My broda my sista at dis juncture,. Wetin u go
do??.....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-14 22:38:05

116 Views



Naija police [Read it]


Naijapolice..afta checking a man’s papers and everytin de intact.
Police > i beg borrow mi ya fone make i call ma friend
driver : i no get credit o
Police > Oga u no get credit 4 fone, so if u get accident now how u go take call ur people to come carry u ? oya park !!
…….


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-27 19:18:21

440 Views



Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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It was already Wednesday and I had not
heard a single word from Beth since
Saturday night’s amazing encounter. I was
beginning to think that she felt she had
made a huge mistake. Even though that night
was the most incredible experience for me
since my wife Susan had passed away, it was
not worth losing Beth’s friendship over.
Several times that day I had picked up the
phone to call her but was overwhelmed by
panic every time. I made a promise to
myself that if she has not called me by
Friday night, I would call her.
We both live in the same gated subdivision
and I actually have to pass Beth’s home
several times a day, as they live on the
main street in the community. I usually
leave about five o’clock in the morning and
rarely return until maybe seven o’clock in
the evening. When you have nothing to come
home to, you’re never in a big rush to get
there.
For several days, I slowed down passing in
front of Beth’s, hoping to see her outside
or perhaps in her vehicle. By Friday
morning I still had not heard from her or
run into her at home. I decided that I
would call her when I got home that
evening. All that day work seem to drag on,
my mid wandering on my problem. I decided
to stop on the way home and get some
takeout, take an early shower and stay in.
After getting out of the shower, I ate my
dinner while watching TV, as I usually did.
I kept staring at the cell phone trying to
get up the nerve to call her. Finally at
about nine o’clock that evening I called.
The phone rang several times then I got her
recorder.
“Hey Beth, this is Jeff. I haven’t heard
from you all week, I hope you’re ok, call
me when you can.”
Several hours passed and nothing. Now I
knew something was wrong. Beth never took
this long to call back. I decided to leave
one more message then leave it in her
hands.
“Beth, call me when you can. Take care.”
I went to bed about midnight but couldn’t
sleep. This was my wife’s sister, my
sister-in-law and a part of my family. What
had I done ? And more importantly, what if
Beth feels really bad about this and opens
up to Lance about it. I was not afraid of
anything physical between Lance and I, he
was too timid around men, he only bullied
women. But I just knew he would love to
tell the rest of the family what had
happened. My in-laws were great people and
this would devastate them. They both took
Susan’s death really hard. She was their
oldest child and her mother’s best friend.
Although Beth and her mom got along real
well, she was closer to her Dad. Susan and
her mother were two peas in a pod. They
spoke at least twice a day on the phone.
This was becoming a disaster.
I awoke the next morning and immediately
grabbed my cell phone. No messages. This
was the nightmare that I had feared. I got
up, showered and prepared to run errands.
Then finally, the phone rang and it was
Beth. I took a deep breathe and answered.
“Hello”, I managed to muster in my best
nonchalant voice.
“Hi Jeff, its Beth, how are you ?”, was her
reply.
She began to tell me how busy at work she
had been that week. She said that she had
thought about calling a few times but never
got up the nerve. I confided to her that I
had did the same thing. Suddenly two people
who used to always get along were now
struggling to even hold a normal
conversation.
“Look Beth”, I told her, “I think we should
have a talk when you have time. We can’t
leave things like this between us. Can we
meet up when you have some time.”
“Sure”, she replied, “I am working today. I
am at the office alone on Saturdays. This
would be a great place to talk with no
interruption”.
“That will be great, Beth. How about noon
or so. I will stop and get lunch if that’s
ok”.
“Good, I will see you about noon.”
I stopped and picked up lunch, then headed
to Beth’s office which was about twenty
minutes away. On the drive I was trying to
think of what to say and how to say it. I
arrived and was glad to see only Beth’s car
in the parking lot. I still had a key to
the building since Susan had been Beth’s
partner for years and I still owned half of
the building along with Lance and Beth. I
locked the door behind me and headed up the
stairs to Beth’s office. As I reached the
top landing, I called out to Beth as not to
startle her.
“Back here.”, she called out from the
Conference Room.
I walked in and set the bags of food on the
table. She looked amazing as usual. She
hugged me and gave me my usual kiss on the
cheek. Not good, I thought as I sat down. I
opened the bags and laid out the food as
she finished up on her laptop. She soon
joined me and began eating. We made small
talk and it was obvious neither one of us
wanted to start this conversation. Finally,
I decided to be the one.
“Beth, I don’t know what to say, but I have
to say something. The other night was
amazing but I somehow sense it may have
been a mistake.” , I said, looking for some
sign of how she felt in her face.
She looked down, then finally spoke.
“I had a wonderful time too Jeff. It’s just
that I don’t know quite how to relate to
you now. I mean, what exactly are we now.
Are we friends, are we more ? I just don’t
know.”
“I really don’t know either, Beth”, I
replied, “But we need to figure this out.”
“Yes, I know. Lance knows something is
wrong with me. He has asked at least a
dozen times this week what is going on with
me. I have just been telling him I’m
exhausted, but I don’t think he is buying
it.”
“Beth, if he finds out, you know he will
tell everyone in the family.” , I told her.
She nodded her head in agreement as she
took another bite of food.
“ I just think the best thing to do right
now is just take some time to think about
this Jeff.”
“If that’s what you want Beth, I am ok with
that. I just don’t want to this to come
between what we were before it happened.”
“I agree.” she replied.
We agreed to take some time and think about
what had happened and to weigh the
situation out completely. We talked for a
few minutes more and I left her to her
work. As I drove home, I knew I had to put
any romantic thoughts of Beth as far in the
back of my mind as I could. On the way home
I did my usual errands as the next day I
was going to see Susan’s parent, which I
still did at least once a month.
I arrived at my in-laws the next day about
noon to have a Sunday lunch with them.
While we were eating we had our normal
conversation. They caught up with me and I
with them. They were good people and I have
to honestly say that through my entire
marriage to Susan had never once treated me
as anything other than the son they never
had. As I finished my meal at the table,
feelings of guilt were taking over. We
talked for about another hour, then I began
my trip home. It was always good to see
Susan’s parents. But it was also always
sad. We both reminded ourselves of what we
had lost when Susan had died.
The week started like any other, trying to
bury my head with work to keep my mind off
of things. No matter what I tried to think
of, I kept coming back to one thing. How
long would it take to resolve this
situation between Beth and I ?
By the end of the week, I had still not
heard from her. Should I call ? No I
decided, this time I would wait for her
call. After all, she was married and I
wasn’t. This was far more dangerous for
her.
That Saturday I was having the local video
store install a new TV on the wall with
surround sound. While they were working the
phone rang. It was Beth.
“Hi Jeff, how are you.”
“I am fine sweetie, how about you ?”, I
replied.
She told me she was doing ok and that she
wanted to see me again and talk. She told
me Lance was going to play golf the next
day with his buddies as he always did on
Sunday morning. He never returned until
late that evening and he was usually drunk.
We agreed to meet at my house around noon.
The next day came and right at noon, the
doorbell rang and there was Beth. She had
on a blue jean skirt and a while V-Neck
cashmere sweater on. She looked amazing,
but then again she always did.
We sat down and made small talk for a while
about the past work week. Susan relayed to
me that business had been crazier than
usual and she was working a lot of hours. I
was doing everything I could not to look at
her legs not wanting to make her feel
uneasy, but all I could think about was the
heaven that was just passed those creamy
thighs. Finally, she got around to the
subject at hand.
“Jeff, I don’t know quite how to say this
without you taking it the wrong way. And I
don’t want to make things anything worst
than they already are.”
“I don’t know how to say this without just
saying it. I know this is going to sound
insane, I know I think it is.” she
continued.
I felt like the Coyote in the Roadrunner
cartoon. The one when he is looking up and
the 2000 Lb. Acme weight is about to fall
on his head.
Did I want to say something, maybe stop her
before she says something I don’t want to
hear ? Too late.
“Jeff”, she said, then she followed with
the longest pause of my life.
“I, think I may be falling in love with you
.“, she stammered.



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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1. "Recipe for success: Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing." William A. Ward

2. "You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result." Mahatma Gandhi

3. "Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier

4. "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." Mahatma Gandhi

5. "Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it." William Durant

6. "Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven’t planted." David Bly

7. "My usual instruction to students when they are preparing to write their examinations is "think before you answer the questions". I am convinced that some multiple choice answers could be so close that you might not know the very one that answers the question correctly! Such is life. To choose your suitable dreams, you must think well!" Isrealmore Ayivor

8. "Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow." Anthony J. D'Angelo

Read more quotes @

A Friend like you is one in a Billion;

So always take care of yourself coz I ain’t in a mood to search another Billion to find a lovely Friend like you!Related

Talk too much [Read it]


WOMEN TALK TOO MUCH
Women talk too much. That's why men have developed a
superpower called SELECTIVE HEARING.
EXAMPLE:
When a woman says:
"This house is a mess, Honey
You and I need to clean this,
Your stuff is all on the floor,
You will be without clothes
If u don't wash them
NOW."
Men only hear:
"bla, bla, bla, HONEY
YOU AND I, bla, bla, bla
bla, bla, bla, ON THE FLOOR
bla, bla, bla, WITHOUT CLOTHES
bla, bla, bla, NOW!
*Now read without the "bla"*


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-21 14:11:43

1082 Views




This economic recession is no longer
funny o! See women pricing school fees:
"Aunty, how much if we remove
geography and Physical Education, I
want him to become a doctor, not a
traveler." What if he comes to school only
Monday, Wednesday and Friday will you
reduce it?"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-09-26 13:38:24

635 Views




**2.05pm that same day**

David was already dressed up.Sonia only watched him weakly.She couldn't explain what she felt all over her body few minutes ago but she felt it.She felt the shock and the awe that invaded her.

"Are you going out?"She suddenly asked.

"Of course i am.I need to get back to the office"he replied as he hurried to the door.Sonia ran up and help him tight begging him to stay with her a little longer.

"I cant stay here all alone"She pleaded,caressing him as she embraced him tightly.

"Why not spend more time with me?"She muttered as she held him speechless with her kisses.
David responded to all her moves.She was the reason why he left his office when he couldn't bear the longing desire for her any longer.But they already have had a little good time,he thought,some more may not be bad.
He sucked hungrily at her lips,while his hands sought for her bossoms.Sonia just couldn't understand what was happening. This was something she has sworn to put an end to,but now and again,she couldn't bear this man walking out without satisfying her sexual urge.
She worked on his shirt,carefully unbuttoning it.


____***_____
The cab pulled up in front of the compound.Angela lazily staggered out.Right since she left home,she had not been herself.She had visited the public toilet more than ten times.She couldn't remember eating anything that could be responsible for the inceasant purge which also came with headache and high body temperature.As a result,she deemed it best to go home.

"Madam.you no wan pay me my money.I be father christmas? I dey carry for free?"The angry driver addressed Angela who was bent on getting into the house.She turned back and gave him the amount they agreed on.

On getting to the compound,she saw her husbands car parked there.She wondered what he might be
doing at home.He should be in the office.She gently opened the door and surveyed the parlour.Nobody was there but on the floor a cloth was lying them.She picked it up and examined it.It was the top Sonia was wearing in the morning.
She held her aching head.

"I hope its not what i'm thinking"She soliloquied as she made into the bedroom quietly.

On approaching there,she paused to examined what she was hearing.She could hear soft moans from the bedroom.
She barged into the room immediately,almost slumping at the sight she beheld.She felt her world crashing.Right before her was her dear husband on the bed with Sonia.They were not even aware of her presence.
"David!"She screamed

To Be Continued....

What do you think will happen next?
Drop your comments

>>

Flies spread disease – keep yours zipped.

AnonymousRelated

One day, I was so angry, that I left home, swearing not to return, till I became a big guy.
Parents, who can't even buy me a Bike, have no rights to dream to make me an Engineer.
In my fit of anger, I didn't even realise that I was wearing my father's Shoes.
I even stole his wallet, which had some papers, torn as well, which my mother hadn't seen...
While, I was rushing on foot towards the bus station, I realised some prickly pain in my foot. I also felt dampness inside the shoe.
That is when I realised the shoe had a hole underneath.
There were no buses around.
Not knowing what to do, I started to look in my Dad's wallet. I found a loan receipt of #70,000, which he has taken from his office. A laptop bill (he had bought for me).
To my utter shock, also found a letter from his manager to wear a neat looking shoes, henceforth to the office.
I remembered my mother pestering him to buy a pair of new shoes, but he would convince her that his shoes would last another six months atleast.
Also, found an old scooter to a new bike, Exchange offer letter in his wallet.
I instantly remembered, that when I left home, my Dad's scooter was not there.
I started feeling weak in my legs, and felt like weeping uncontrollably!.
I ran back home with my foot paining, only to find my Dad nor the scooter there. I found him at the exchange offer place.
Looking at my Dad, my grief engulfed me.
I hugged him tightly and started crying loudly, said "Dad I don't need the Bike".
That is when I realised, the pain, hardship our parents go through, and the unconditional love that they give us.
We should only look to seek our needs and not our unrealistic wants.
Ridiculing parents when they are alive, and longing for them when they are not around, has no meaning..
Kindly tell this story to your children to help them identify and develop human values in them.
This is one of the best messages that I have read. Please read and share without fail.

Do Has Well To Follow
Me up,,
For More Updates!!
Richyz Kingsley.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-05-07 12:18:12

372 Views




The following conversation ensued between Akpos and his wife of two-years.

Akpos: Sweety, how many men have you slept with after we got married?

Wife: (quiet)

Akpos: (10 minutes later) Sweety, I asked you a question!

Wife: Quiet, please.

Akpos: (15 minutes later) Are you afraid to tell me the truth?

Wife: Will you just keep quiet and let me finish counting?




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-06 15:32:23

602 Views



Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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funny mom [Read it]


akpos told his mom,"mom I am tired of granny,she's too wicked.I wish she would just die after all she's old".
The mother replied"God forbid! shut up your mouth you stupid boy,it is your mother that will die not mine!!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-22 20:23:34

426 Views



Little kid [Read it]


A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar.
The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you."
The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five".
The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?"
"No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-19 08:37:20

487 Views




“Agar koi ladki khud aa ke aapse khe..

” I love You I cnt live without you

To samjh lo..



Eeeee Wroonnggg no. hai

.

kaunu apki firki le rha haiRelated

ONE WEEK LATER.we were still at the
hotel.everything thing was going well
between charity and i.no news yet
about Jc and the his gang.and i
never told charity about her
sister.each day.we did nothing than
to bath.eat.sleep.gist and some
times s-x.we did that day by day to
the extend i got tired of staying
indoor.but i have no choice.coz my
life isn’t save yet.as far as Jc and his
gang were still alive. although charity
never complain.but for how long will
we continue to stay indoor.i paid the
hotel management for only two
weeks.with only money that i had.
and we have stayed one week and
three days.that means we only have
four days left.and the worst part was
i don’t have much cash to renew our
payment.after this four days.what
are we gonna do.they are gonna ask
us to leave if we didn’t pay
again.were are we gonna go from
here.are we going to return home?
No now.that would be a suicide
mission.we can’t go back for
now.but the question is.where will
we go from here.how long are we
gonna continue to hide from those
people? I have no relative around
this town.what about my family?i
havn’t heard from them for all this
while.hope they are safe o.i hope Jc
havn’t carried out his plain on
them.as he had threatened earlier.
Oh God.i’m tired of living like
this.this life i’m living now isn’t the
life i wish to leave.i wanted to leave a
better life not this life.i’m a graduate
with first class.i came out with one
of the best result.but still no
job.what is the need of going to
school.if you know you won’t get a
job at the end.and again.my so
called mother didn’t help in the
matter at all.she was the one always
pushing me to make money.she
always compared me with my mate
them.that were doing well at the
city.i don’t blame her sha.only God
will judge her for me.
TWO DAYS LATER.the hotel
management came and remind us
that we have only two days left for
our payment to expire.
What are going to do now.you know
we only have two days to go.if we
didn’t renew our payment.*charity
asked*.
ME.honestly i don’t know what to do
again.the money that i have now
won’t be enough.
CHARITY.dear like wise me.i don’t
know what to do.but don’t worry.we
will survive as long as God is alive.
The following day.i took the risk and
went out from the hotel.to the town.i
went to the bank to withdraw the
remain 8k on my accout.i made sure
that nobody was following me.i got
to the bank and lucky i withdrew the
money successfully.i bought some
fruit and some snacks for charity.coz
she likes anything fruit.
Charity called me.to check whether
everything was fine.i told her not to
worry that am on my way coming
back.
20 minutes later.i went inside the
hotel and saw charity making phone
call.i moved closer to her.held her
on her waist.
CHARITY.ooh.thank God you are
back.i was worried.and about to call
you before you came in.how did it
went?
ME.*smiled*fine.i bought this for
you.(i handed her the things i
bought for her).
CHARITY.*frown face*
ME.*suprised*what happened.why
your face like this.you don’t like
them?.
CHARITY.you know that we don’t
have money.the litte one we
have.you still use it to buy all those
things for me.you would have save
the money for another thing.than to
spent it unecessaryly on those
things.
ME.you don’t like them?.
CHARITY.of course i love them.i love
anything fruit so much.but this is
not the right time to spend money.
ME.baby.i got your point.but don’t
worry.your happiness is my number
one priority.i know we are in hard
time.but that doesn’t mean that i
can’t get your favourite for
you.don’t worry everything gonna be
fine.by the time i get a very good
job.i will cherish you with all the
good things in this world.i will bring
out your real beauty.i will take you to
any country you wish to go.i will
always treat you like a princess that
you are to me.but for now.we have
to manage the little one we have.
CHARITY.*smiled*so i’m your
princess?
ME.yes na.you don’t know.aaah you
are even more than a princess to me.
CHARITY.and i call you my prince.i
will always be there for you.through
thick and thin.i love you so much
dear.
ME.same here dear.
We hugged each other passionately.
I have to tell you somethin.charity
said.after the hug…alright.go on.*i
told her*
CHARITY.i called my sister earlier
today.
ME.*suprised*which of them.
CHARITY.i only have one sister
na.which is Anty seyi.
ME.you mean you called her today.
CHARITY.actually.she was the one
that called me.
ME.*scared*so what did you guys
discussed about?.
CHARITY.she said that.she had been
looking for me for a week now.the
neighbours said that they don’t
know my way about.my number.was
always off.luckly she was able to get
me today.she was worried that
something bad might have happened
to me.so i told her everything that
happened.
ME.(eeeh.i’m finish)you told her
everything.including me.
CHARITY.yes i did.and she said i
should send her our address.that
she want to see me.
ME.did you sent this address to her?.
CHARITY.yes dear.she said she will
like to see us.


>>

A man finds a bottle on the beach, and when he rubs it and a genie comes out.
''Ok'', the genie says, "I will grant you one wish. What will it be?
Excitedly the man demands, "I want all the ladies yo love me!
And poof.........he turn into a bar of chocolate.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-12 11:16:03

1333 Views




A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for
speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem,
Officer? Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer : Can I see your
license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you
but I don't have one. Officer : Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk
driving. Officer : I see...Can I see your vehicle
registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't
do that. Officer : Why not? Older Woman: I stole
this car. Officer : Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I
killed and hacked up the owner. Officer : You
what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic
bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer
looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his
car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police
cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly
approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your
vehicle please! The woman steps out of her
vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have
stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older
Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer2: Yes,
could you please open the trunk of your car,
please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing
nothing but an empty trunk. Officer2: Is this your
car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the
registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do
not have a driving license. The woman digs into
her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer. The officer examines the
license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer2 : Thank
you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't
have a license, that you stole this car, and that
you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older
Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-06 13:22:06

621 Views




My roommate was fast asleep when I got back from the
spiritualist’s temple.
Her eyes looked swollen like someone who had been
crying before falling asleep.
The loss of her new jeep must have gotten to her but I
didn’t feel any pity for her. I was even happy with the
situation of things.
I looked at her from head to toe and shrugged my
shoulders.
We haven’t had any open confrontation with each other so
I had to maintain my decorum.
I took some water from our drum and went to the
bathroom to have my bath.
I was sweating profusely and didn’t want the sweat to dry
on my body.
By the time I came out, my roommate was awake and
sitting upright on the bed.
“You’re back,” she said looking up at me.
“My dear, I’m back o,” I replied staring back at her. “What is
the police saying about your stolen jeep?”
“They said they haven’t seen any trace of it,” she replied. “I
wonder if they will ever find it. You know our police and
their lapses.”
“My dear don’t worry, they will find it,” I said pretending
like I care.
“I really hope they do,” she murmured.
I dried my body with my hand towel and wore a light
cotton gown with nothing underneath.
Then I logged onto my facebook account.
It had been long I last visited facebook and I knew I would
have accumulated lots of messages.
I was right.
There were lots of messages in my inbox some of which
were relevant with others which were quite irrelevant.
Among the relevant ones were some which were outdated
and some which were recent.
There was this particular one sent an hour ago from one
Valentino hotel about a guy that just arrived from the
United States of America and needed company.
The message specified that the guy had gone through the
pics of all the beautiful girls in the hotel’s database and
selected my pic as his favourite and was willing to pay as
much as 500k to have a taste of my pu$$¥.
The deal was mouth watering and I was ready to take a
shot at it.
I was convinced that the spiritualist’s powers were at work
and my respect for the man grew tremendously.
With my roommate’s charms neutralised, I had no other
obstacle blocking my business.
I had spent a hundred and fifty thousand naira at the
spiritualist’s temple and was going to make five hundred
thousand tonight.
What other evidence do I need to convince me of the
spiritualist’s unlimited powers?
I quickly replied the facebook message stating clearly that I
was ready for the job and would be at the hotel by 7.00pm
on the dot.
“Thank you for responding to our message,” they replied
back. “7pm is ok. See ya.

Lets have some discussion
Whats your advice for her?

>> Episode 15 -

If love is blind, then why do they make lingerie?

-AnonymousRelated

Kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them in about six days, take a look around, then close them again for the better part of their lives.

~ Stephen BakerRelated




Interviewer: Where were you born?

Akpos: Lagos

Interviewer: Which part?

Akpos: What do you mean which part? The whole body was born in Lagos.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-15 22:02:28

228 Views




Yemi: are you alright
Loveth: yes;am fine
Muriel: you sure of that?
Loveth: of cause ma(she got a message from Zara telling her she is back)thank goodness;i will be leaving to my home today
Muriel: why?
Loveth: is because Zara is back and i can get my keys now from her
Luke: alright
Yemi: when are you leaving?
Loveth: today
Muriel: no way;you are staying till the next day
Loveth: but ma
Muriel: no but,its final
Loveth: alright;thank you very much for letting me stay in your apartment and thanks for the food and all
Muriel: i should be the one thanking you for preparing a nice dish for us and i also want to apologies to you for last night
Loveth: is okay;i understand;you were just protecting your son
Muriel: i wouldn't had say those words to you and son;i am also sorry
for yelling at you and for comparing you with your dad
Luke: is alright mom;i know you get irritated sometime and say things
Muriel: son
Luke: sorry mom but mom please stop comparing me with that man
Muriel: yes sir but...
Luke: mom please
Muriel: alright;i will really miss you(to Loveth)
Loveth: i will miss you too and everyone
Joan: we will miss you too
Loveth: really?
Yemi: of cause
Loveth: now you all are going to make me cry
Yemi: please don't
Loveth: alright i wouldn't
Yemi: better;ma can i go out
Muriel: of cause you can;its not like you are a prisoner here
Yemi: thanks ma;i go ahead
Muriel: alright(exit Yemi)
Loveth: ma;i think i will go ahead also
Muriel: no problem
Luke: Loveth;can we talk
Loveth: what about?
Muriel: that doesn't tell well of a wife material
Loveth: alright;sure we can
Muriel: good
Luke: later mom
Muriel: alright(they walk away)Joan;are you not going to work?
Joan: no but i have something to do;so i go ahead
Muriel: no problem(exit Joan)kids of modern days(back to Loveth and Luke)
Loveth: what do we want to talk about?
Luke: i am sorry
Loveth: what did you do?(Joan listen to their conversation from a distance)go on tell me
Luke: i know you were surprise about what happen yesterday(he try to hold her hand but she move backward)Loveth;stop it;i am not a monster and i have no plan of hurting you(she open her mouth to say something but nothing was coming out)go on;say what you want to say;i am really sorry;if i made you scared
Loveth: Superman;i hold nothing against you but can i go now
Luke: is this it;you don't want to talk to me because i am temperamental
Loveth: will you stop irritating me
Luke: i am irritating you
Loveth: is there any word that i will use;that will not increase you temper?
Luke: (he take a deep breath)i am not angry with you;i just hate myself because i hurt you(she stared at him with surprise)i am sorry if your health condition is in a bad shape because of me(she walked towards him)
Loveth: i am sorry too but you are not the cause of my illness;i just get scared when someone get angry and i always see the face of just one person and my heart break in piece because...(she pause)
Luke: you can always take your decision by quitting
Loveth: i wish i could because i love you superman;i really do but i don't want to add to my pains(she walked away)
Luke: Loveth
Joan: (to herself)so this girl is in love with Luke and Luke is also in love with her;this will never happen,not in this life


Alex: my main man
Luke: where in the world did you come from?
Alex: from exile
Luke: thank God you know;long time
Alex: yes;i have some business trip to attend to;you know a family man must struggle to make hands meet,so that is family doesn't end up eating one zero zero(they laughed)you know everything
Luke: i don't because i am not a married man with kids;i love been single
Jude: you are crazy
Luke: i am not
Alex: talking about marriage;how is the competition going?
Luke: its just there;Monica as gone home;when she find out that i feel nothing for her anymore
Alex: poor girl but do you have any place in your heart for forgiveness(Loveth walked in but stood unnoticed to listen to their conversation)why can't you forgive?
Alex: i do;i just don't like people taking me for granted
Alex: no;you don't,first it was your dad
Luke: Jude;just stop it
Alex: you know i am not scare of you because no matter how many times you clench your fist it doesn't end up on anyone(he laughed)
Luke: stop acting like you know me more than i know myself
Jude: of cause i do,that is why i am the only one who is not scared of you(he raise his head and saw Loveth)hey;who is that pretty?
Loveth: good day;i am going to my office(to Luke)
Luke: alright
Loveth: bye(she walked away)
Jude: who is she?did mom add another girl to it?was it after Monica left?
Luke: no;and no because she is not one of the contestant
Alex: why didn't you tell me;you have such a lovely sister before i got married at least;we would had been more than just friends
Luke: are you sure;you have not be drinking?
Alex: no;i am not but the bible say there is a time to drink
Luke: in your own bible because the last time i check there is nothing like that
Alex: fine;you won but who is she?
Luke: Loveth
Alex: oh my God;is she your fiancee now?
Luke: no
Alex: what are you waiting for?why is she here?
Luke: is a long story but maybe i am waiting for her yes
Alex: really
Luke: yes but for now is chess;i miss you
Alex: and i miss playing chess with you
Luke: crazy thing;come on(curtain)

Zara: ma;i am so sorry that i wasn't able to come give you;your keys on time
Loveth: that is alright;at least you came before your vacation elapse
Zara: i know but i still want to apologies to you
Loveth: alright;anyway thanks
Zara: for what ma
Loveth: never mind;is there anyone waiting for me
Zara: yes;we have a lady who want a legal practitioner for her case
Loveth: what is the case all about?
Zara: she said she want to talk to you personally
Loveth: alright;sent her in
Zara: alright ma
Loveth: okay and please with this ma things;i don't like it
Zara: alright ma
Loveth: you are something else(she walked away)
Zara: she look happy today(curtain)

Nurse: good day ma;the patient in ward 1 is awake now
Joan: is that not the patient of doctor Faith;is attend to?
Nurse: yes;ma but he is not around;he felt some few hours back
Joan: alright;i will just go to him
Nurse: thanks ma;after you ma
Joan: alright(at the ward)good day young man
PATIENT: good day doctor
Joan: how are you feeling now?
PATIENT: better than ever;especially after doctor Luke take good care of me
Joan: doctor Luke or doctor Faith
PATIENT: no;Luke was the one who took good care of me;doctor Faith is so arrogant and thinks too high of himself although;he was the doctor assist to me but i complain to the management and they change him
Joan: alright;from your case note;it show that you are fit to go home;i will prescribe drugs for you and please make sure you eat good food and have sufficient rest because that was the cause of your break down
PATIENT: i know;i stress too much and my problem is that i just cant stay idol
Joan: no one is saying that;just take a little rest;we all need it
PATIENT: i will try
Joan: better;i will leave you and please take care of yourself(she walked away)
Nurse: i go good ahead as well(curtain)


Loveth: hey;what are you doing here?
Luke: i want to give you something;so can i come in
Loveth: of cause;is it not your house
Luke: is not;is my mom's;so both of us are visitors(she laughed)
Loveth: you are cunning;come on in
Luke: how was work today
Loveth: it was fine and you haven't resume
Luke: no(he brought out a hand chain)
Loveth: what is that?
Luke: is a chain for you;do you like it?
Loveth: of cause;i love it(he put it on her)thank you very much
Luke: you welcome;i am glad you like it
Loveth: i love it;i also have a gift for you
Luke: really
Loveth: of cause;can i have your hand(he gave it to her)this is for you(she put the wristwatch on him)i didn't know it will suite this way
Luke: thank you but for all the world present why choose this
Loveth: you don't like it?
Luke: if cause i do but i was just wondering why?
Loveth: fine;this is one gift i love giving to all my love ones;so that should in case;i offend you or i did something to hurt you;just let time heals it and let time make out room for you in your heart to forgive me and please do not always remain resentful towards me
Luke: you are crazy
Loveth: please;promise me(she held his hand)you will always forgive me and we will always be friends no matter what and please always wait for me because no matter how long it takes i will always come
Luke: i promise
Loveth: thanks;superman
Luke: you welcome;so you are packing your stuff
Loveth: is not like i have a lot here;lets just say i am putting your mom's room in order
Luke: alright;if you are done;let me know
Loveth: do you want to go with me?
Luke: of cause
Loveth: alright;where is your mom
Luke: she has gone to the office
Loveth: alright;when she comes;tell her;i am gone and give her this(he hand him a plate of cookies)
Luke: what?why didn't you give me this?
Loveth: so you don't like my gift?
Luke: not really but....
Loveth: don't worry;i know your mom will give you because she loves you so much
Luke: you crazy
Loveth: i know;is like i am done;so shall we go
Luke: of cause(curtain)


Yemi: thank goodness;everyone has gone out;i need to check everywhere and get something tangible(she walk towards the Muriel's room and find out the door is lock)what in God's name is wrong with this old woman(she try to force it but she just couldn't open it)i hate this rubbish(she heard sound of a car)that should be the sound of Ma Muriel's car,i need to check
Muriel: anyone at home?
Yemi: ma;everyone as gone out
Muriel: really?
Yemi: yes ma
Muriel: alright;but why are you sweating
Yemi: i was just cleaning up my room
Muriel: alright;i go upstair
Yemi: okay ma;i will also go to my room
Muriel: no problem?

Loveth: welcome to my house(she gave him juice)thanks for accompany me home
Luke: thanks for the juice
Loveth: tell me about yourself?
Luke: i thought you will never asked
Loveth: sorry about that?you know most things about me but i barely know anything about you;so go on and tell me everything i need to know about this being
Luke: first of all;my name is....(doorbell ringing)are you expecting anyone?
Loveth: none that i can think of;i will just go get it(bell ringing again)i am coming(she open the door and find out it is Jude)Jude;when did you return?you didn't stay up to five days any more?(she stood at the door)what about your mom?
Jude: will you get off the door and stop asking me meaningless question
Loveth: sorry;come on him(he walked in)please;sit
Jude: (he stared at Luke)who is he?
Loveth: he is superman
Luke: good day;i am....
Jude: tell him to leave
Loveth: what?
Jude: i said,'tell him to leave and i don't want to ever see you around him
Loveth: i can't he is my visitor
Jude: really?(he held her hand)
Loveth: stop it;you are hurting me
Luke: don't worry;i will leave
Jude: that is good and you(he walked towards the door)i left for just less then a week and you started bringing men into your mom's house?
Loveth: i didn't bring men into my mom's house;he is my friend and you just embarrass me in front of....
Jude: will you keep quiet(he slapped her)when i am talking don't talk
Loveth: oh my she(Luke turned and saw him raise his hand again to hit her)
Luke: stop it
Jude: so;you want to fight me over my property
Luke: she is not an commidity that can be purchase;so she is not your property,stop hurting her
Jude: who are you to tell me what to do?(he punch Luke on his face)
Luke: you are an animal(Luke walk towards him and Loveth stood in between them)
Loveth: you two just stop it(Jude pushed her from his way)you really want to test my patience
Luke: i don't have to fight with people like you;just get out of here
Jude: i am not leaving(he turned to Loveth)you see what your stupidity is bring to me
Loveth: i am sorry(she close her eyes has Jude walked towards her)i am sorry(Luke dragged her from his front)
Luke: if you don't want to go;then fine;stay alone(he dragged her into his car and start driving)
Loveth: where are you taking me?
Luke: away from that monster
Loveth: stop the car;i want to go back home
Luke: i am not letting you go back to him
Loveth: i can't leave my house for a stranger;i need to go back to him
Luke: then i am coming with you
Loveth: don't i can take care of myself
Luke: you can't;and i am not letting you do so
Loveth: will you stop acting like you are my savior and please let me be and stop this car right now
Luke: i will not
Loveth: stop this car right now or i will open the door and jump out
Luke: fine(he stop)
Loveth: thank you and don't come after me
Luke: no problem(he drove off and she returned to Jude)
Jude: oh!you decided to come back;you wouldn't had come back,why did you come back
Loveth: i am sorry
Jude: what is name?
Loveth: i don't know
Jude: no problem(he walked away)
Loveth: how come he didn't rise his voice why i left with him?he is not even mad at me?i just hope all his well(curtain)

Muriel: son;what happen to your face?
Luke: is nothing mom
Joan: what do you mean nothing?when you have bruises on your face
Muriel: did you get into a fight?
Luke: no
Yemi: is it not obvious
Luke: yes;i got involve in a fight with Loveth's fiancée
Muriel: what where you thinking?
Luke: i did nothing wrong;i got to her house and we were talking and he came in and said i should leave
Muriel: then why don't you leave
Luke: i was about leaving when i saw him hit her
Yemi: how is it your business
Luke: are you insane?
Yemi: i am not;excuse me(she walked away)
Luke: you are very stupid
Muriel: Luke;stay away from that girl and i don't want to hear any more thing about her(she walked away)
Luke: what is wrong with everyone?
Joan: just try and understand your mom;she is just protecting you
Luke: i am all grown up for crying out loud and i know what is best for me(he walks away)
Joan: he denies it that he love her but in a true sense he does(curtain)

Jude: who are you and why did you want to see?
Joan: i know something that will interest you
Jude: i am not interested and how did you get my number
Joan: i got it from your fiancee phone
Jude: good for you;if you like me;i don't like you because i don't want you and i have someone in my life whom i love(he stand up to leave)
Joan: your wife to be;seems to care and love him and if you really love her as you claim do something
Jude: i don't have to do anything because she is already mine;she doesn't have any other choice
Joan: so you think(she show her a picture of both of them hugging)
Jude: what?(he dragged the phone)i can't believe this
Joan: if i were you;i wouldn't doubt i will just take action before its too late and do what you think will make her stay away from him(she stood to leave)
Jude: thanks;what is your name?
Joan: is not important just call me desperate
Jude: alright(she walked away)i will just confront her(curtain)


Darling: girlfriend;what color will you to use for you wedding
Vivian: you like party too much;it seems you are more happier then the bride
Darling: she is happy too;right Love?(she said nothing but kept looking at space)Love(she kept silent)what is wrong with her?
Vivian: i don't know(she touch her)are you alright
Loveth: yes;i am fine;what were you saying?
Vivian: your mind is not here(enter Jude)this is what you are being praying and dreaming of;but it doesn't seems you are happy about it?
Darling: is there anything wrong?you can tell us
Loveth: i am fine
Vivian: no;you are not,i persuaded Darling so will come to your house because i know the first thing you do;is to give us cookies and juice but all that is not forth coming and there you sit in trance in a world of your own
Loveth: how did you girls feel when you were about to get married
Darling: i kept staring at the time for it to passed;so my wedding day will be here
Vivian: everything i dreamt of was my wedding day
Darling: you just get excited and you keep anticipating
Loveth: but how come i don't feel any of those;i have always feel that my wedding will be the most happiest day of my life;i want it to be more excited than the day i won my first lawsuit but it doesn't seems so;as days goes by;i felt like i don't want to get married
Darling: you don't love him
Loveth: what?
Vivian: yes;that is how it is when you are not getting married to the one you love
Darling: your heart belong to someone else right?
Loveth: i don't know maybe i am just confuse but i think i am in love with the doctor;those days i spent with him;i felt he was the one;we have so many things in common;he treats me like i was a queen and he loves me also
Vivian: do you think he doesn't have a bad side
Loveth: he does and i know that also Darling: really
Loveth: yes;he is the one;i love
Jude: hello girls
Vivian: hi(Loveth wipe her tears)
Loveth: Jude meet my best friends Darling and Vivian;girls meet my fiance
Darling: nice meeting you(she stretch out her hand)
Jude: Loveth;come with me
Loveth: but....
Vivian: never mind;we will just go
Darling: yes;bye(they walked away)so rude
Vivian: i just pray she shouldn't end up with him
Darling: that is hell not marriage(back to Jude and Loveth)
Loveth: do you have to embarrass me in front of everyone?
Jude: embarrassment;i don't care about anyone except myself
Loveth: Jude;there is something i want to tell you
Jude: i also have something to tell you but it all depend on what you will tell me
Loveth: alright;please can we call off the engagement
Jude: is that what you want?
Loveth: yes;i don't want to keep torturing myself,the truth is;i don't love you
Jude: fine by me
Loveth: really
Jude: of cause
Loveth: thank you very much(she hugged him)
Jude: return my ring to me at my place tomorrow evening
Loveth: is it just that you want
Jude: yes(he smiled and walked away)
Loveth: thank goodness




TO BE CONTINUE......





NAIRAJOKES.COM




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She was saying so many things that doesn’t make sense, the way she has been eyeing me ever since we were in 100level. How she tried her possible best to talk to me and i was not looking at her side. She was always jealous of seeing other sisters with me, it was practically because of me she was coming to tutorials religiously.
The first time i gave her attention, what was on her mind was having sex with me instantly, she was so happy the day we exchanged number and the day we first had sex was one of the happiest day of her life as she has been looking forward to it. She was so expectant the next time it will happen again after the first time.
She went to the extent that frustration of not looking at her side made her gave in to a guy in 400level that was disturbing her, she gave in to the guy and she lost her virginity to the guy. She removed her night gown, knelt down in front of me and was making a vow “i love you so much Abdulrahman, you mean everything to me, i promise never to betray the love you have for me”.
She said so many things that i couldn’t remember and ended it with “please make me feel like a woman baby, i need you in me right now baby, i want you baby, please baby”. I don’t even know what to do at that very moment, i still wondering what was happening when Aisha pushed me on the bed and started kissing me seriously, i responded to her gesture and we were all naked within a minute.
I Didn’t know what happened to me but i was finding it so hard to locate her pusssy, i first of all use my hand to caress her to locate where it was so that i wont put it in a wrong place. We later roll on the bed to switch position, barely a minute we switched over, she already sat on my deek and started going up and down, she was hitting me so hard as our lap was hitting each other. I took control of the situation and went on the missionary style, i started hitting her real hard.
The bed was soaked with our sweat, one hour, two hours and we are still going as i don’t really know what happened nor where i got the energy from. She was just shouting that i was scared neighbours will be hearing us, i later saw water coming out of her pussy but i was still hard..I was still going hard when i realized her voice was becoming so low, i was still expecting to come so that i can stop until i realized Aisha was not responding again.


>>

Everybody always claims to be in a relationship but the truth is..some
people are confused where their own will lead them to, what does the
future hold for both of them. The girl sometimes out of fear, keeps her
relationship open because she doesnt trust if her boy friend will
actually end up marrying her especially when she loves him. So long your
boy friend is not a pretender, I think these hints below may really
help you a bit or to an extent if your boy friend has really come to
stay or hit-and-run type.

1. SEX IS NOT A PRIORITY:
If your
boy friend meets you as a virgin and never disturbs or pressures you
over having sex with you or giving him your virginity, it means he has
really come to stay. Initially, you told him you wont have sex till
marriage even when you didnt mean it but just to try him yet his love
for you never for one day changes, instead he encourages you..i think
its an evidence that he loves you as a wife. If he meets you when you
are no longer a virgin and can stay with you in same room for 2 or 3
days without being all about sex if you are the type that visits and
stays for some days or doesnt demand sex whenever you come if you are
the type that visits on a daily bases, I think its enough to believe
that he wants not just sex but your company also.

2. HE SPENDS MORE ON YOUR EDUCATION:
He
may not really be a rich guy but when it comes to your education, he
will have money and spend it on it even when he doesnt spend much on you
like that often. He sees you worthy to invest on to secure your future
because he also sees it as his own future. Even as a rich guy, you
notice he spends more on your education than other things about you.
This is because he wants you not just to look good only but also to be
somebody tomorrow and for him no to have any reason not to marry you.

3. HE SEEMS VERY JEALOUS:
His
jealousness is not that he doesnt trust you. He trusts you, he just
doesnt want others to tell you what he tells you or others to feel what
he feels for you. He doesnt want to have this imagination that someone
will be sleeping with or touching his wife. He sees you as his wife
already even when you are not and you know someone feels hurts when
someone sleeps with his wife.

4. HE TRIES TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOUR FAMILY:
He
always asks about your family, he tries to know how many brothers and
sisters you have, what they do, how many are married and how many are
single. What your parents do..its not as if he wants to know how rich or
poor your family is, he is only trying to have the picture of the kind
of family he wants or wishes to marry from.

5. HE HIDES NOTHING FROM YOU:
The
reason why he hides nothing from you is because he believes that
whatever he hides from you that you will definitely know when he marries
you, so what does he gain in hiding something you will stil know
tomorrow. He tells you what he likes and finds out what you like too. He
tells you his life styles, his bad habits, things he can never do
without and so on. He also tells you what he does for a living,
sometimes he waits for you to ask in other to know if you would ask
because he cant just start telling you unless you ask to avoid seeing
him as someone who brags.

6. HE TRIES TO CHANGE CERTAIN THINGS ABOUT YOU:
Nobody
has ever met someone and liked or loved everything about the person. He
will always try to change the ones he feels he can change even though
they say you should not try to change someone but in this case, he wants
to be happy with his marriage. When he changes the ones he can change
about you, he will start learning on how to adjust, live and cope with
the ones he cant change. Its because of this trying to change certain
things about you that sometimes your relationship with him seems to
exprience ups and downs but at the end, peace, understanding and joy
will come into existence.

7. HE SEEMS NOT TO SPEND MUCH ON YOU:
To
you, you will think he doesnt spend much on you. We all know that there
are guys that when they see a girl and wish to sleep with her, they
will spend so much on her to get her to the extent that you will
say..wow!..what a cheerful person. In his mind, he spends because he has
a mission and once the mission is accomplished, he leaves or stops
spending, some girls will understand or have exprienced this. There is
no guy that will be dating a girl he wants to marry and just be spending
on her like a fool, any guy who does that has a mission. When a guy who
loves and wishes to marry you is dating you, he will be moderate on
spending. This is because he will like to find out if all you want is
his money or love and he cant find the answer by spending extravagantly
on you. He will keep it slow, moderate and steady. He also believes that
the more he saves now, the better he takes care of you tomorrow as his
wife which is more important.

8. HE TRIES TO KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU:
Knowing
all about you ranges from knowing what you like most, what you like
doing most, what you like eating most, your favourite colour, your
favourite food, your weak point, what gets you angry, what makes you
happy, how you see and understand things, how you handle things when
angered, how many children you like to have as a wife and so on. He is
not being too inquisitive, he is only trying to know if he can cope with
your type or not because marrying someone is not like dating somene. If
he has no plan for future with you, he wont care t know some of these
things.

9. HE ADORES HOW YOU ARE:
He adores how you are
presently and will also adore how you will be in future especially when
you tell him that your mum used to be slim and now she is fat..meaning
that you may be fat too and he stil doesnt see it as anything. He tries
to make your relationship attain that peak comfort level in which both
of you will know and appreciate everything about each other.

10. HE LETS YOU KNOW WHEN YOU OFFEND HIM:
He
wont bear grudges for you or keep records of what you do to him. When
you offend him, he will let you know by reacting to it and make you
understand that he doesnt like what you did. Its not like he is
hot-tempered, he just wants you to understand and for you to try not to
repeat it. Someone who doesnt have any intention of marrying you will
say whats his business with what you do when you offend him afterall, is
he going to marry you but someone who wishes to marry you will try to
prevent such from happening next time and the only way to do that is by
letting you know when you offend him. A hit and run type never feels
offended, he will always be saying..its just a matter of time.

These are just few I know, maybe you can add yours or say your own opinion...its allowed.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-05 15:55:02

449 Views




Three thieves, Akpos, Emeka and Eze, were taken to court, and found guilty.

The Emeka stole a tin of sardine. The judge sentenced him to three years in prison because there were three fishes in the tin.

Eze stole a tray of eggs, he got 30 years in prison because a tray of egg contains 30 eggs.

Akpos collapsed. He stole a bag of rice



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-23 11:27:06

288 Views




Lips and Boobs to Pussy, “You are the target. It is for that you we are sucked bitten and squeezed.

Pussy cried and said, “I remain hidden, it’s you two, who always invite trouble!Related

The drunk Apkos [Read it]


Akpos stumbles through the front door of a bar and shouted barman give me beer! 
The barman figured out that he is already drunk and say, ”I’m sorry sir, but I can’t serve you…you have drink so much beer already.” Akpos swears and walks out of the bar. 
 Five minutes later Akpos comes flying through the side door of the bar, and shouted "barman give me beer!". Again the barman says,”I’m sorry, sir…but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink!” 
 Ten minutes later, Akpos comes in through the back door of the bar, storms up to the barman, and demands a beer. Again, the barman says to the man…”I’m really sorry, sir, but you’ve had too much to drink…please start going home!” 
 Akpos looks at the barman and says “O My God, man… How many bars do you work at?!”


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-20 14:53:56

3524 Views




3 young Ladies proposed a
MAN..
..
He had to choose one of them..
..
He tested by giving them
Rs.5000 each 2 spend…
.
.
.
.
.
.
1st bought make up stuff&
new
dresses & said she wanted to
look
good for him..
..
2nd got him few expensive
shirts
& ties and perfumes&
said she wanted him to look
good..
..
3rd one invested the money,
Got profit &returned him
original
amount, saying that she
saved the rest for their future..
.
.
Finally MAN decided to marry
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The first women because..
.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
.
She was looking damn beautiful ….
.
.
…Moral:” Men Will Be Men”.Related

WICKEDNESS=>WRITE UP BY DINDY
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission,thank you for reading this write up...
This word"WICKEDNESS" is the way of the devil,It is the way the devil works, but now presently human beings have tend to click to it and have learnt to be more wicked than the devil(like seriously I don't know why people are just so blind to see that no matter how evil you are you can't rule the world, the world is a place of peace and no matter the amount of wickedness you give out the earth absorbs it and use it against you some day).
What is wickedness?,let me take you back to the first wicked creature ever(lucifer),he brought about evil life,but after him followed his believers and his wanna bes.
Sometimes people don't actually do wicked things intentional, Some do it out of revenge,some are being tricked into it,or deceived to do it.
Sometimes they see it as the right thing but its not,well they can't see it the way you see it because wickedness has engulfed their minds and hearts.
Most of them were trained from their childhood to be wicked,some were hypnotize aka brain wash into it.
Sometimes its caused by what they see or what they hear, Or read;do you think a normal human being will just want to kill people for fun?,well no they won't.
The devil's wickedness lives amongst us human and now dwells in our hearts and ways.
WICKEDNESS IN HUMAN FORM
How can a mother/father choose to kill her/his child just to obtain evil powers or get more money.
How can one be so wicked towards an unborn child who don't know anything about the happenings of life.
How can one be so wicked towards his/her brother/sister from the same mother and father.
How can one choose to kill innocent people of this world.
How can one be beheaded by his/her own son/daughter.
How can one fake to be gold while him/her is the darkest coal ever.
How can one smile with you in the day and at night turns into a beast that torment you at the midnight hours.
How can a little girl/boy choose to destroy her/his family.
How can your true friend be your true enemy.
How can ones mother/father be the reason for ones pain,suffering and stagnation.
How can one choose to turn children against parent, parent against children,family against family,friends against friends,company against company,countries against countries,religion against religion,tribes against tribes.
How can one be forced against his/her will to do something or anything unthinkable.
How can a son/daughter kill his/her mother/father to get money(the devil is so deceiving),etc..... But really that person isn't in his/her right senses.Now tell me who will you run to when you need a motherly/fatherly advice,when you need a mother/father,when you need to see your mother/father?.
Have you ever seen when the devil sacrifice his son just to save his evil follows?( I guess the answer is no), but he will tell you to do so, and ignorant people will do it just to get what they want...... But God scarified his only son to save us and he has never asked us to give our children or anything for return(I wonder when we humans will learn to appreciate the true love God has for us).
Sometimes people take your good deeds and turns it around and pays you back with wickedness;you help someone with money then the person use it against you to hold your destiny/future/progress/fate/glory and generation.
Wickedness never pays,you might enjoy the feeling at that moment but when the time is right you shall suffer for it.
God don't like wicked people to die on time because he lets them live longer so that they can feel more pain and suffering.
In every family there is always a wicked soul,it is a family curse(I think) because there is no family you will enter that there won't be somebody there planning to kill or destroy the another person in the family.
I guess the curse started from the beginning of the earth when kain killed Abel for being better than him in the sacrifice they offered to God.
God made him a vagabond as a punishment for his wickedness,I guess he later died wondering in the forest or jungle. And after his death his spirit never left planet earth, it went all around the world and now we suffer for it,the spirit of kain is in every nation,every country,every state,every capital and every family, i guess that is why there is a kain in every family.
Life was never wicked to you when you were brought to this world.
Life was not evil that it gave you the chance to breathe air.
Life was never wicked when it gave you the creativity to create imagination.
Life was never wicked when it gave you the opportunity to meet flesh and blood of your kind. But why do you have to return the nice and glorious things that life gave you with the soulless ways of wickedness?.
Learn to stop your unclean ways of wickedness because if you continue all your life time being wicked and heartless, you shall live to regret everything you did.
You could even die before you confess all you did,wickedness is like a two headed sword, it kills the target and the killer when use as a weapon.
This life is all about goodies and happiness, why don't you focus on that than being a rootless being.
Days pass, weeks pass, years pass, and yet you see wickedness as the only thing that makes you happy, Well my dear I am sorry for you because your night(old age)shall come and you shall suffer the pain of a crying mother who lost her baby at child's birth.
"REMEMBER THAT WE ALL ARE GOING TO ANSWER QUESTIONS WHEN WE DIE AND GO TO THE OTHER SIDE OF LIFE",ALWAYS KEEP THAT IN MIND DEAR WICKED HEART.
MY NAME IS NNAMDI AKA DINDY AND I WROTE THIS WRITE UP.LEARN FROM WHAT YOU READ NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND.THANKS FOR READING.....................WRITE UP BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI.........whatsapp/viber number:07087750433.... [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected]
ook.com facebook name:Ossy Andy Nnamdi.......Skype: 07087750433 or [email protected]........[email protected].....[email protected]







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Alone I can say but together we can chat;

Alone I can smile but together we can laugh;

Alone I can enjoy but together we can celebrate.

This is the magic of our Friendship!Related

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voicemail?
Imagine praying and hearing the following:
Thank you for calling Heaven.
For English, press 1.
For French, press 2.
For Yoruba, press 3.
For Chinese, press 4.
For Igbo, press 5.
For all other languages, press#.
Please, select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request.
Press 2 for thanksgiving.
Press 3 for complaints.
Press * for others.
I'm sorry, all our Angels and Saints are currently busy helping other sinners right now.
However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received.
God be with you as you repent.

#BOLLY_SMART ?? ? ? ? ? ??™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-04 07:46:13

309 Views




A guy walks up to his friend one Sunday
and says, "I'm sleeping with the pastor's
wife. Can you hold him in church after
service for me?" The friend agrees and after mass, he
starts talking to the pastor and asking
him all kind of stupid questions just to
keep him occupied. After about an hour, the pastor gets
angry and asks the guy what's
up.Feeling guilty, the guy confesses, "My
friend is sleeping with your wife right
now." The pastor then smiles and says, "You
should run back home and check your
wife, my wife has been dead for years."
#BOLLY_SMART ?? ?? ?? ? ? ??™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-24 02:15:26

4559 Views




The President’s daughter and I Season 2
Season 2 of this super action packed story comes up with much more interesting scenes and mind blowing drama. story starts on or before April 2016







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-24 16:56:08

1150 Views




Absurd but interesting rhyming:

Wife is Received Call

Girl is Dialed Call

Girlfriend is Missed Call

Lover is Waiting Call

But Friendship is FEVICOL!Related

Dear Dollar [Read it]


Dear Dollar,You slut…
Stop rising so much coz after 58 Government will retire you..Sincerely
Indian RupeeRelated

Below are the 10 Funny Quotes of the
year so far... Whenever things seem to start going
well in your life, the devil comes along
and gives you a 'girlfriend' Dating a slim/slender guy is cool... the
problem is when you are lying on his
chest then his ribs draw Adidas lines on
your face. Respect pregnant women because it's
not easy walking around with evidence
that you've had sex. Some of the girls of today can't even jog
for 5 mins but they expect a guy to last
in bed with you for 2 hours! Your level
of selfishness demands a one week
crusade. I stopped trusting ladies when my
Primary 3 girlfriend left me for another
boy all because he bought a sharpener
with a mirror Being dumped by a dark skinned girl is
the worst thing ever! Because anytime
you get home and see charcoal, you
become emotional. If is every man's dream to remove a
woman's pant one day, but NOT when
it's on a drying line. Sometimes you look back at girls you
spent money on rather than send it to
your mum and you realise witchcraft is
real. A brave man is he who has a running
stomach and still wants to fart (mess) My dear ladies, please don't buy a selfie
stick when your armpit itself needs a
shaving stick.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-09-06 04:52:11

455 Views




AYOMIDE'S ADVENTURE Episode 23
It was my Francisca,she was sitting
comfortably looking here and there,I
think she just arrived,because she should
have called me if she has been around
for so long,I was really surprised and
scared to see her,she haven't saw me yet when
I dodged myself,I quickly ran back to meet
Esther,she was still dressing up,I told her
Francisca is here,she was also very surprised,
I told her to wait behind till francisca leave,
there is no any escape route in our
supermarket,she have no other choice
than to wait,unless she is ready to
end things with her friend
I was happy she agreed to
wait,I rushed back to meet my francisca,
I saw her sitting down impatiently.
I showed her some killer smile
when we have a eyes contact,she
Smile back,I went to meet her where
She was sitting,she question where
I went to,you know lie is no more
my problem,I was now an enthusiast
when it comes to lying,and my star progress
there should be up to 90percent,a little
percent to professional.....
"I am really busy inside the store,I
was taken care of somethings there,my
mum told me to arrange some goods
Inside the place,that's what I have been
doing since"I replied...
"Ohh sorry,you must be really tired
from working,is there any work left,I will
like to help you"she requested...
Hearing that really makes me feel
Uneasy,help what??,she shouldn't try
helping me at all o,because both I and you knows
the kind of work I have been doing inside
that store for about one hour,if she tries
helping me then am in trouble..
(Now giving her another killer smile"no
thanks I really appreciate that,but I won't
want you to do something very tiresome
like that,I will finish it when we are through
with our conversation"I muttered...
Hoping she will change her mind but no,she
still wants to help but I guess she was
willing to help with that kind of work because
I already told her my mum went to lagos...
"So you are the only person who
should the tiresome works??,your lover
can't help you??"she retorted disappointed..
She stood up heading towards the
store,chai!!,am in a bigger trouble I murmured,
How am I going to stop this girl??,without
allowing her to notice anything?,if I draw her
back,she would notice something,and she will
also feels so bad,within some seconds
I think of something sweet,she was heading
towards the door when I walked up to her,
draw her back,and kissed her,she didn't
resisted it,she love it,I think aloud inside
my heart,I was kissing her,romancing her
Body,she is responding well...
After kissing her for some minutes..I
released her...
"I missed you a lot francisca"I whispered
into her ears,esther should be hearing us
but I don't mind,I knew she knows we
were kissing,because we were staying
very closer to the door of the store...
"Hmmm I missed you too,I just wanted
to see you,hope you love my hairstyle??"She
asked...
She just do the hair,I loved it,she
is looking very elegant,she was dressing
nicely,I just love everything about her..
I even enjoy her lips..
"Ohh I love it so much,and you are so
sweet honey"I replied her...
we went back to where I usually attends
to customer,I really enjoyed her company
she help me a lot that day,she attends
to many customers in my place,and she
really do well,it was like I should be
the owner of the supermarket and I should
employ her,she spends the her day with me,
that's the day I enjoyed her most since
we have been dating...she left around
7pm in the evening...and promised to
come around some other days whenever
she is free....
I enjoyed francisca to the extent that
I forgot I lock up esther inside the store,
seriously,I forgot completely that I left
someone inside the store,chai!!,she must
be really angry,don't know how to face her
though...
**********************

>>

Akpos works in a hotel. So yesterday their Manager gathered all of the workers and informed them that the next day which is "May 1st" is workers day. There will be no kind of work that day. "Any question?" he added, Akpos shouted from the back, "Is sex included?". Everybody burst into laughter. The manager said `Yes`.

Later in the evening today, Akpos and his friend Okon decided to go to the beech to celebrate the workers day. while in beech Akpos sighted a half necked girl and boy kissing and romancing themselves seriously. Akpos couldn`t control himself, he rushed towards them, remove his big shoe and hit the boy on his head "FOOL! IDIOT! you are working on public holiday".
Boy: "But am not doing any work"
Akpos: "Why are you now sweating like xmas GOAT?"



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-01 10:35:07

5136 Views



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