Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Love never runs out... So, Don't even rush into Falling in love, even if they laugh at you because you're single, it's better to be single than to be in a relationship where all you do is cry and manage your partner. If you find yourself in love with someone who doesn't love, please let it go! Be gentle on yourself, there's nothing wrong with you, love just did not choose to rest in the other person's heart.......
Let it go!... With time, you'll know the reason it happened.
True love isn't something that's just forced, it's something that just happens. It's funny that so many people are so hungry for love, that they choose to bite the first type of love that they see, even if it's poisonous.
Don't be a fool for love, choose your love wisely. Remember...! It's not about what everyone wants you to be, it's about being yourself and finding someone who truly love you for who you're.
Remember...! It's not how you feel now that's really important, it's your state of happiness in the future that matters most..
--------------------------------
?Agree ??


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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The next morning I woke up before Grey. He was lying beside me on his side with his arm around my waist. So many mornings when I'd seen him sleeping on the couch I'd wondered what it felt like to wake up beside him. Now I knew, it felt awesome. I lost track of time as I lay watching him sleep, tracing every feature with my eyes wanting to touch him but I didn't want to wake him. So many things I'd take for granted before my diagnosis but now every moment, both big and small, was to be cherished.

He began to stir and I smiled as I watched him. His eyes opened and I smiled.

"How long have you been awake?" he asked softly as he pulled me close.

"A while."

He pressed a kiss to my forehead. Every touch was amplified by the fact that I was running out of time. As much as I wanted to ignore everything but the two of us, I needed to see the specialist again. I had questions and I needed some answers.

"I need to go see the specialist again," I said softly. Grey stilled beneath me. It was like I'd broken our safe little moment.

"I had a feeling you would want to see him again when you'd had time to process everything. I called to get another appointment with him and he said he could squeeze you in at five on Friday," he informed me. He knew me so well.

"Thank you."

Silence descended between the two of us as my mind began to cycle through the questions I wanted to ask the specialist.

"So what do you want to do today?" he asked softly.

Honestly I just wanted to spend it with him but there was something I had to do.

"I need to go and see Reece," I said. It wasn't something I was looking forward to but she was my best friend and I needed to tell her what was going on. There was no way I was going to tell her this over the phone.

"I'll take you," he said and I nodded.

Then I thought about Aiden. I would need to tell him as well. It was going to be another emotional draining day but there was no avoiding it. I suddenly remembered I was supposed to be working today. Through all the emotion and stress I'd completely forgotten.

"I forgot I have to work today," I said sitting up. I didn't want to call in sick but I wasn't in the right frame of mine to concentrate on working.

"Do you think it's a good idea to continue to work?" Grey asked as he sat up.

I rubbed my head. The answer was no.



"I'll call Jax to ask him to cover my shift but then I will need to go by the restaurant to quit."

Slowly but surely I could feel my stress level begin to rise when I thought about how Reece would take my news and how David would react to me quitting. My head started to throb and I rubbed it.

"Relax," Grey said putting an arm around me and pulling me close. "You can't let all these things worry you."

He was right but it was easier said than done.

"I know," I said.

"Come on let's get up. The sooner we get everything done the sooner you can stop worrying about it."

He got out the bed and helped me out. Having him with him and helping me meant so much to be that for a moment I swallowed my emotion down as I stood in front of him.

"How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?" I said softly. It was true.

He tipped my face up to his. His eyes searched mine.

"I'm the lucky one," he said and his words pulled at my heart.

His words made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He pressed kiss to my forehead.

After he left me in my room I had a shower and got dressed. He'd gone home to do the same. He'd told me he would be back at the house in half an hour to take me to see Reece.

I called Jax and he said he would cover my shift. He didn't seem to mind which eased my guilt.

Luckily today Reece started her classes late so I would be able to see her before she left for college. I didn't want to have to wait the entire day before I could tell her. I called her and she answered.

"Hi," I greeted feeling nervous as I gripped my phone tightly.

"Hello stranger," she greeted back and I felt bad that I hadn't been in contact with her the last couple of days.

"Yeah, I'm sorry but things have been a little hectic," I said.



"Too busy to call me?" she asked not sound entirely convinced.

"I need to see you this morning," I said instead of answering her question.



"Sure," she said and I could hear the nervousness in her voice. She was my best friend and knew me better than anyone else. It was how she knew something was wrong but she had no idea what.

"Okay, I'll see you in about half an hour," I said.

"Sure, see you then."

I let out a sigh when I disconnected the phone. Thankfully my father and my brother had left for the day and my mom was the only one that I had to face.

"Hi mom," I greeted when I went downstairs.

"Hi baby," she said as her eyes lit up. I gave her a hug and she hugged me a little tighter than usual. I understood why.

"What are you doing today?" she asked. I told her and she nodded her head. I heard the front door open and close. Grey walked into the kitchen. He'd showered and changed.

"You ready?" he asked and I nodded.

"I'll see you later," I said to my mom.

"Okay baby."

The car ride to Reece was quiet. I was too busy trying to figure out how I was going to tell Reece what I had to. Grey pulled up in her driveway and switched off the car.

"I'll wait here," he said.

"Thanks," I said as I got out of the car.

The front door opened before I could knock. Reece beamed at me and her eyes went to the car parked outside her house.

"Why is Grey dropping you off here?" she asked smiling. Then I remembered I hadn't told her that we were together now.

"It's a long story," I said with a shrug.

"Doesn't he want to come in?" she asked and I shook my head.

"I need to talk to you alone."

Her eyes narrowed. There was no doubt that whatever I was going to tell her wasn't good. We went into her house. In the living room she sat down and I sat beside her. I hesitated for a moment not sure exactly what to start off with.

"You're starting to freak me out. Just spit it out," she said looking at me anxiously.

I began to tell her about my symptoms and the doctor visits. She sat quietly listening to me. Everything that had happened spilled from my lips.

"I have a brain tumor," I admitted softly and I saw her eyes widen in shock. She seemed to be speechless.

I told her about the only treatment being surgery.

For a moment she looked stunned and then she pulled me into a hug. Hearing her soft tears as she hugged me made me start to cry. Both of sat there hugging each other while we both cried. Afterwards we'd stopped I told her about Grey and how we'd gotten together.

She smiled at me and with a wink she said, "I told you so."


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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No wonder why most nairajokers are inactive today!!!
During his leisure time this morning, Akpos went to the market because he was bored at home. He decided to buy a loaf of bread. He sat on the shade of a certain tree close to his village to eat the bread. As he was eating, a police officer arrived at the spot & the following conversation took place:
Officer: Hello
Akpos: Hi Sir
Officer: What are you doing?
Akpos: Eating
Officer: You mean that bread?
Akpos: Yes
Officer: Where's your drink?
Akpos: I don't have any drink here
Officer: what about water??
Akpos: I don't have it here
Officer: Mr. Akpos, you are under arrest!
Akpos(surprised): Why??
Officer: You've been caught attempting to commit sucide. The evidence is enough and clear: how can you eat the whole of this bread without a drink?? for sure you wanted to chock yourself to death. No More Questions; Let's Go To The Station Now!!!
{That is how it was for Akpos this morning. Now he's still at the station!}


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-12 22:25:31

5301 Views




Before she could think of finishing the whole
meal,
her tummy began grumbling. She was in severe
pain. She shouted for help that got attention of
the nurses. A white foamy substance was coming out
of her mouth which seemed Mansa had been
poisoned.
Her condition looked critical while the pupil of her
eyes were disappearing. Her life was in God’s
hand now.
The Doctor came in after being prompted about
Mansa’s condition.
Obed’s instinct told him that something was
wrong
with Mansa. In no time he came to the hospital but
was prevented from seeing Mansa until the Doctor
had finished attending to her.
Obed sat down at the OPD and silently prayed. He
knew there was something wrong with Mansa.
Chris came to the hospital to find Obed sitting there. He joined him and asked how Mansa was
faring.
“I really don’t know but I learnt the doctor is
attending to her at the moment. Where is your
mother ?” Obed asked.
“Off to see Kuu”, he answered. Obed felt this was the right moment to find from
Chris if he really reported his brother to the police
so He came up with a trick.
“Chris, how could your brother do such a thing to
Mansa?” Obed said.
” I really don’t know what came over him. I always
do my best as a brother to advise him but i just
don’t know why he went to that extreme,” Chris
said.
“Such is life. Whoever reported the issue to the
police really did well. Mansa will be so happy to hear her rapist has been caught” Obed said.
As childish as Chris was, he revealed that he was
the one who reported the case.
“Actually, i did. I can’t afford to see Mansa go
through that pains at the expense of my brother’s
freedom. Justice cannot be tempered with mercy”,
said Chris.
“So you actually placed your brother behind bars,
I
see. When he actually stood up and defended you
when you got involved in drug issues back in the states. He pleaded with your late dad to come to
your aid even when your father didn’t want to. I
must say, your freedom today is practically by
Kuu’s effort, yet this is how you repay him” Obed
said
Chris was frightened by the words of Obed. “I see, Kuu has been talking to you a lot” Chris
told
Obed.
“Not at all, but Chris, I know everything that’s
going
on” Obed said. This frightened him the more as he kept talking.
Chris excused himself. He couldn’t take it
anymore.
He walked out and left his presence. As soon as
he
stepped out of the hospital, he had a call from Asabea.
” I told you not call me anymore,” Chris said as
soon as he answered.
” …and do you think i want to? I’m going to make
sure you really suffer for what you have caused
me, I have already struck and am sure you are going to hear a bad news soon. This is not the
end,
you will crawl and beg for my mercy”, Asabea
threatened him.
As much as he was scared and worried about her
threats, he didn’t make it obvious for her to see. “You can’t do anything to me Asabea, I have you
at
my fingertips. You obey and listen to me. You
belong to me and i choose to do whatever I want
with you”, Chris told her.
She laughed and said, “we shall see” and she hanged up on him.
Chris needed to be vigilant and alert for what
Asabea may be planning to do.
Mrs Amposah had returned to the hospital and
was together with Obed waiting for the doctor.
Due to the confrontation from Obed, she hardly spoke a word to him.
She watched him head to toe from where she was
sitting with anger and fear at the same time.
Finally, the Doctor came out. He was actually
looking down and worked up. It seemed
something had gone wrong.
Obed rushed to him as the Doctor approached
Mrs Amposah.
“Doctor any good news?” Asked Mrs Amposah.
“It’s unfortunate, we tried all we could but
Mansa………

>>

A Reverend father was praying over the offering in church.

Akpos opened his eyes and saw the father taking five thousand naira out of the bowl.

The father saw that Akpos caught him red-handed.

So he said ” Blessed are those who see and remain quiet. Amen”

Akpos replied “For they shall receive their share, Halleluyah!”




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-08 13:12:03

242 Views




Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me – I’ll laugh at you!Related

Later in the night, i couldn’t sleep but thought of the kind of life Ezekiel was living, the memory of what i saw was not going out of my mind; it was as if someone pasted the picture into my heart couple with all what Ezekiel explained. I didn’t come to term with the friends with benefits stuff as i was hearing the explanation for the first time, i later slept off with my thought.
Ismaeel called me later the following morning that it seems he wont be coming home as early as we thought that maybe he will be coming home on Saturday or Sunday because of his engagement where ever he was. I asked him to tell me where he was but he said i shouldn’t worry about it that he will explain everything to me once his back and that was on a Wednesday.
From Wednesday to Saturday, it was just me, Ezekiel and esther downstairs, the funniest thing was that Esther didn’t even go to her room again, she was sleeping and staying in Ezekiel’s room. They will go out in Ezekiel’s car, come back later in the day, put on generator anytime there was no power supply and enjoy themselves. In fact they use to on generator over night some times.
On Saturday, i told Mr Bolaji, the owner of the coaching centre that i wont be coming again since i will be resuming school and i will be engaged in so many activities but rather than agree with me, he pleaded with me that i should try and manage schooling and the teaching class together. He said he will adjust my class to suit my school time table so that their wont be disturbance and even if there is a clash he can always reschedule his own class for my sake. He even said he was ready to increase my salary to N5,000.
I seek the advice of Ismaeel when he came back and he advised me that i should take the offer, in his word 2is it not even better than the free tutorial i used to organized for my course mate. This is a new means of income and with this we can forget about home totally because i believe 5k is enough for our upkeep. I tried to find out about where he went to but he didn’t even give me any concrete answer so i decided to shelve it over with the thought that it was his personal runs or something which he didn’t want me to know about that he went for.
First semester 200level resumed fully and it was not different from the way i used my past session but this time around i had to add my coaching class to it. My course mates never stop demanding for tutorials from me, my MSSN contribution was also there as well as my coaching class. In fact it was as if i was a full working class as i do come home around 7pm or 8pm every night.
Ismaeel noticed the change of attitude from Ezekiel to me as time goes on, it was a forceful friendship of sought, he always want to talk to me same as Esther. Since i started talking to them, i was also forced to be coming out some night any time am free. If everybody in the hostel was outside gisting and i was not there, Ezekiel will make sure he come and drag me out even though i don’t contribute much to their discussion.


>>

Loosed Towel [Read it]


Imagine you are outside playing with a baby (infant)
with just a towel covering your body and as you
throw the baby up, your towel looses grip while there
are so many people around you...
Which one would you catch first, The BABY or the
TOWEL?!


#BOLLY_SMART™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-31 13:43:29

233 Views




Akpos’ wife came home early and found him
in their bedroom making love to a very
attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset. ‘You are a
disrespectful pig!’ she cried. ‘How dare you
do this to me — a faithful wife, the mother of
your children! I’m leaving you. I want a
divorce right away!’
Akpos replied, ‘Hang on just a minute love so
at least I can tell you what happened.’ ‘Fine,
go ahead,’ she sobbed,’ but they’ll be the
last words you’ll say to me!’
Akpos began — ‘Well, I was getting into the
car to drive home, and this young lady here
asked me for a lift. She looked so down and
out and defenseless that I took pity on her
and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well
dressed and very dirty. She told me she
hadn’t eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home
and warmed up the meat pie I made for you
last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because
you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor
thing devoured them in moments.
“Since she needed a good clean-up, I
suggested a shower, and while she was
doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty
and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then,
as she needed clothes, I gave her the
designer jeans that you’ve had for a few
years, but don’t wear because you say
they’re too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your
anniversary present, which you don’t wear
because I don’t have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you
for Christmas that you don’t wear just to
annoy her, and I also donated those boots
you bought at the expensive boutique and
don’t wear because someone at work has a
pair the same.’
Akpos took a quick breath and continued –
‘She was so grateful for my understanding
and help that as I walked her to the door, she
turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
‘Please … Do you have anything else that
your wife doesn’t use?’


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-01 22:05:30

1891 Views



Words of Wisdom [Read it]


Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater.If you give her a sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.So, if you give her any aggravation, be ready to receive a ton of stuff in return.Related

Isabella: i am sorry sir;sorry;i am really sorry;i didn't mean to say it
Zuriel: i think i should go down and talk to dad
Ada: why?
Zuriel: i don't want him to hurt her Ada: don't worry dad will not hurt her
Zuriel: you think so?
Ada: of cause(back to them)
Zeal: is alright;you really don't have to apologies
Isabella: really sir;you are not mad at me?
Zeal: of cause
Isabella:you really do have a heart of diamond;what a perfect
Zeal: you really funny(she ran into the kitchen)why is she going?(she return with a glass of juice)what is that?
Isabella: it is for you;for being a good nice;adorable;compassionate and merciful king
Zeal: but i am not a king
Isabella: everyone that have such a quality is a king
Zeal: you really some kind of real character (he drunk the juice)thanks(exit Zeal)
Ada: i told you
Zuriel: thank God

Obed: mom;why are you been mean to that girl?
Alice: did she tell you to come asked me that?
Obed: mom please stop it;i am seeing everything;she don't have to asked me to do that
Alice: oh you think i am being unfair to her?
Obed: the honest truth?
Alice: yes
Obed: fine;i know you are hurting her because she came through Zuriel;if it was i or Obedient that brought her;you would had treat her right
Alice: you are very stupid(she slapped him)
Zeal: what is going on here?
Alice: its nothing(enter Mercy)what can i do for you?
Mercy: dinner is serve
Alice: fine;you can get and you get out of my sight
Obed: i will but change(exit Obed)
Zeal: what is wrong with him?
Alice: i don't know lets go to the dinning
Zeal: alright;i will be there in a few minutes
Alice: i will wait for you
Zeal: no problem
Ada: what is keeping those husband and wife?
Obedient: i don't know ;i wonder if it is at old age that they want to practice love
Zuriel: you are just been jealous
Obed: hey;where is your friend?
Zuriel: she is in the room
Obed: why?
Zuriel: i don't want mom to yelled at her
Obedient: so she wouldn't eat?
Zuriel: i will take her food to her(enter Alice/Zeal)welcome dad
Zeal: how are you?
Obed: i am fine dad
Zeal: are you sure
Obed: yes dad;lets eat i am famished
Alice::yes sir
Zeal: where is your friend?
Zuriel: she is in my room
Zeal: doing what?is she not eating?
Zuriel: she will;but not yet
Zeal: why?didn't she know that as a family we all eat together?
Alice: she is not one of us
Zeal: everyone under this roof is one of us(at Zuriel's room)
Isabellaphone ringing)who is calling him(she look at it)his mom;why is he not here and why didn't he go with his phone?should answer the call? no way;she might find out that am here and that i can afford to let her know
Alice: that means Mercy will be allowed to eat with us;since we are now housing every refugee in our house
Zeal: wash your mouth (enter Isabella)
Isabella: Zuriel(she whisper)
Zuriel: excuse me dad
Zeal: where are you going to?
Zuriel: i want to get something(Zeal turned)
Zeal: young lady why are you standing there?
Isabella: good evening;sir,i want to give Zuriel;his phone,his mom is calling him(she turned to leave)
Zeal: alright;come and eat
Zuriel: don't worry dad,i will just take my food to the room;so that i eat with her;since mom is calling me
Zeal: that is nonsense;sit and eat
Isabella: no sir,i am still full
Zeal: don't tell me you are scared of me
Isabella: i am not sir
Zeal: then sit
Isabella: alright sir
Zuriel: alright,i will be right back
Obed: here is your plate;the pleasure to serve you is all mine

Alice: don't you dare sit on my dining(she stood up)good girl,now get out
Zeal: Alice;are you alright?sit down young lady
Alice: you wouldn't dare;i cant eat with a pig
Zeal: i said sit
Isabella: is alright sir;i am not really hungry
Zeal: are you disobeying me?
Isabella: no sir
Zeal: then sit(as she was about to sit;Alice pour juice on her)woman are you mad?(exit Zeal)
Obed: mother you are really mean;excuse me(exit Obed)
Obedient: thank you very much(he left also)
Zuriel: where is everyone?Isabella;who did this to you?
Isabella: no one(she left)
Zuriel: Ada what is wrong?
Ada: i don't know,asked mom
Alice: (he turn and look at her)what?(he shake his head and left)stupid people(few hours later)
Ada: why is mom so cruel to her?
Obed: i don't know;where is she?
Obedient: who?
Obed: Isabella
Ada: she is in my room,i feel for her
Obedient: lets go and cheer her up
Obed: alright(at her room)surprise;so you are here
Zuriel: yes,what are you all doing here?
Ada: we came to keep the princess company
Isabella: who is your princess?
Obed: you of cause
Isabella: alright;so whatever the princess asked you to do,that is what you will do?
Obedient: of cause
Isabella: then get the princess a glass of water;a very cold one
Obedient: at your service(he stood to leave)
Isabella: no;get me an hand fan and fan me,i need air coming from human
Obed: what?
Isabella: am i not a princess(Zuriel laughed)and you stop laughing go get a towel and warm water to clean my leg
Zuriel: yes princess(he stood up)
Isabella: dont go;i am just kidding
Obedient: are you sure?
Isabella: of cause;sit but been a princess is sweet(laughing continued)
Obed: what are your hobbies?
Isabella: telling story and singing
Obed: that is interesting;can you tell us a story?
Isabella: of cause(enter Mercy)good evening ma
Mercy: evening;its past bed time;everyone to your room
Obedient: but
Mercy: no,is an order from your dad
Obedient: alright good night(to Ada and Isabella)
Ada: bye(curtain)
Zuriel: good morning;where is Isabella?
Ada: she didn't sleep last night
Zuriel: why?
Ada: she is acting as if she is fine,but she is not,she is in paon,in serious pain. you have to talk to her;she is at the garden
Zuriel: alright;thanks(exit)hey
Isabella: yes;what are you doing here?
Zuriel: this is for you(he gave her flower)
Isabella: what?why are you giving me flower?i am not your girlfriend and don't you dare try to court me because i am sure that i am in your house
Zuriel: i am not because i am not a shepherd boy but i am sure that i am the one and only one for you
Isabella: you are crazy(she laughed and keep quiet)
Zuriel: hey;don't be quiet;please don't be sad
Isabella: i am not sad;i am just thinking if what you just said is true
Zuriel: what i said?does it mean that i can court you?
Isabella: never;when you already have a girlfriend
Zuriel::i do not
Isabella: don't tell lies to me,you already told me you have a girlfriend
Zuriel: yes,i did said so but that is the fact
Isabella: so you two are still dating?
Zuriel: to everyone;we are not dating but the true is we are still dating
Isabella: what?are you telling lies to your parents?
Zuriel: that us what they want to hear. if i tell them the truth they will criticise me;they will always say,'i am not up to eighteen' and if i want to break up with her;she will commit suicide,that is what i don't want to happen. she has always been there for me,through all my difficult times,those times i felt the world hate me
Isabella: that means you love her
Zuriel: to be sincere,i don't know
Isabella: what do you mean,you don't know?
Zuriel: that is the fact. i really don't know,why i kept telling you everything and the truth
Isabella: maybe because i cast a spell on you
Zuriel: you are naught(she kept quiet again) are you alright?
Isabella: i feel like i am dying every minute that passes with him not talking to me;with him not smiling at me;i just feel that my breath is taken away from me;i could take everyone been mad at me but not his silent(tears roll her eyes)that us enough to kill me,i just feel like the war us against me(she wipe her tears)
Zuriel: that is okay(enter Dedo/Obed)hello
Dedo: hi;who is she?
Obed: Isabella
Dedo: the girl from the show?
Zuriel: yes;Isabellaedo the one i told you about
Isabella: oh!she is really beautiful
Dedo: i don't need you to complement me;i already know how i look,what are you doing here?
Zuriel: that is enough

Dedo: it's not enough;what is she doing here?
Zuriel: she is staying with us for now
Dedo: i don't want to see her,i am going in side(exit Dedo)
Zuriel: i am sorry
Isabella: is okay;will you go ahead
Obed: Isabella;have you see a mall in horseland?
Isabella: no oh
Obed: will you like to see it
Isabella: i would have but...(she starred at Zuriel)
Zuriel: don't worry you can go
Isabella: thank you(curtain)
Zuriel: what is wrong with Dedo?why are you acting bad?
Dedo: you know i don't like that girl from the onset,why bring her here?
Zuriel: will you relax?keep quiet let me explain
Dedo: explain what?what is thereto explain?
Zuriel: you are raising your voice;no one knows i am still dating you here
Dedo: i don't care,i am not sharing you with anyone else,never;i am not going to do that;excuse me(exit Dedo)
Zuriel: hold on;why is she so angry?
Ada: hey baby;are you still dating that girl?be truthful
Zuriel: sort of,kind of,is like
Ada: be specific
Zuriel: i really don't know(exit Zuriel)
Ada: i know that both of you are still dating(curtain)
Zippor: anyone at home;Joy,Isabella
Joy: oh;thanks goodness;you got me worried sick;i thought something bad happen to you
Zippor: i was worried sick about you too,i wasn't able to reach anyone;i lost my phone;i am so tired
Joy: let me get you something to eat
Zippor: dont worry;i am not hungry,i just need to take my bath;where is my sister(he walked into the bathroom) Joy get me my towel
Joy: alright(he came out)you are fast
Zippor: am i;you or Isabella;that bath with ten hours
Joy: oh!come off it
Zippor: (he walked towards Isabella's bags) where is Bella's bag?
Joy: i don't know
Zippor: what did you mean you don't know?i left her in your care and you are telling me you don't
Joy: am i her keeper;she is been too naught,so i sent her packing
Zippor: what did you say?
Joy: i said i sent her packing
Zippor: to where
Joy: i don't know;anywhere she want to go,that is where she will go. i don't have business with her(he laughed)why?
Zippor: i am laughing at you because if i cant find her,i will kill you and this i will definitely do(he pack his bags)
Joy: what are you doing?
Zippor: this past three years;i have live with with you;is a wasted years;it's over between us. if you can't accept my sisters; then we can't be in a relationship
Joy: i am sorry Zippor
Zippor: you don't have to be sorry;its over between us
Joy: you kidding right
Zippor: i am not,can't you see,i am packing up;let go of me go(exit)
Joy: i am sorry;what do i do now(she cried)
Katherina: thank goodness;are you moving in again;dad;Zippor is here
Lola: oh brother;thank God you are back
Zippor: when did you returned?
Lola: last weekend
Zippor: Alright
Joab: thank the lord that you decided to come back;go on prepare a meal for him
Zippor: you don't have to;i am not a prodigal son that came back to his father neither am i staying permanently
Lola: where is Isabella?
Katherina: where is she?
Zippor: i left for less than a fortnight and everything went wrong;you that called yourself her elder sister;you couldn't check on her,you really do not care because she is not your blood. don't worry i will look for her myself
Joab: where could she be?
Katherina: oh no;i really have to look for my sister
Lola: of cause(curtain)
Isabella: thank you very much;i really enjoyed myself;its just cool to be there and you are fun to be with
Obed: i told you;if you go with me;you will enjoy it
Isabella: of cause;that is true;thank you
Obed: and my heart is jumping overly happy for giving me the opportunity to be with(they sat down)you think i am joking

Isabella: i don't believe you
Obed: fine;listen to my heart(he pull her closer to his chest)did you hear that
Isabella: i didn't hear anything;just sit down;my eyes
Obed: what is it?
Isabella: i don't know;something is inside my eyes
Obed: alright(try to get it out)is it still here(enter Zuriel)
Isabella: yes(he draw closer)
Zuriel: what is going on?(he slapped him)
Obed: what is wrong with you?(he walked away)
Isabella: excuse me;Zuriel;why did you hit him?
Zuriel: are you that cheap
Isabella: what did i do?
Zuriel: i cant believe that you could stood so low as to kissed and flirt with a boy because he took you out(she slapped him)

Isabella: is that how you look at me?a flirt;a loss girl that could do anything;i am not that cheap and i am not a flirt(she walked away)



to be continue


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Son: Daddy mein kaise paida hua

Daddy: hum ne dua kee ap aa gaye

son: Bhai

Daddy: dua se

son: chacha

Daddy:wo b dua se

son: Hamare khandan mein chodne wodne ka riwaaj nahi hai kiyaRelated

1. Don`t beat her
2. Don`t verbally abuse her
3. Don`t disrespect her
4. Don`t make her feel unloved
5. Don`t sexually abuse her
6. Don`t cheat on her
7.
Don`t ignore her Love Languages. Give her kindness, she`ll give u
LOVE Give her smiles, she`ll give u laughter Give her your heart,
she`ll give u her LIFE. Give her a house, she`ll give u a HOME Give
her an idea, she will give you a plan. Give her sperm, she`ll give u
babies. Treat Her Like a Queen, She`ll make u a KING. LOVE her, and
she`ll SUBMIT herself! Sin against her and She will make your life
miserable, good measure pressed down and Running over she will send
your soul to hell! Every girl is beautiful, it sometimes just takes
the right guy to see it.

TRUE OR FALSE?? -- LIKE & COMMENT







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-09 08:25:06

561 Views




Ek Wife Ka Subha Apne Pati Ko Kahte Suna Gaya Ek Dialog



Janu Please Aj Mat Dalna, Kal Raat Tumne Dala Tha To Sari Raat Pani Behta Raha



Mujhe Lagta Hai Ki Ye Eye Drop Kharab HaiRelated

CA ki wife:
Suniye ji, Yeh inflation kya hai?

CA:
Pehle tu 36-24-36 thi
Ab tu 48-40-48 hai !

Ab tere pass sab kuch pehle se jyada hai, phir bhi Teri value pahle se kam hai.

YAHI INFLATION HAI.

Economics is not that difficult if we have the right examples.
——————
Interviewer: What is Recession?

Candidate: When “Wine & Women” get replaced by “Water & Wife”
that critical phase of life is called Recession!!????
——————
Accountancy fact:
What is the difference between Liability & Asset?

A drunk friend is liability
But
A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset.
——————
Absolute Classic!!!

Heated gold is called ornaments
Beaten copper is called wire
Compressed carbon is called diamond.
Heated, beaten and compressed human is called HUSBANDRelated

::::::::::*****::::::::::::
I got into the car beside him, waited for some minutes for
him to say something. Each time I turned I met his probing
gaze...
"You didn't call me here to stare at me right?" I said
avoiding his eyes.
"Yea and nay." he chuckled.
I don become this guy playmate shebi? I asked myself.
" Look,I've got something important to..."
"That thing can wait!" he cut me short.
"Teju..." he began softly.
I felt my heart melt.
"I want us come together as one, you know too well how
much I've wanted you as my half..."
"For Eniola's sake right?" I heard my self say
"C'mon that's cold! Count Eniola out of this. We've been
together before Eniola came...." he continued.
" we weren't together, you left me when..." I began to say.
"I didn't leave you!" he cut me
"I left for school, If I had known you were pregnant-I'd have
stayed back." he tried to explain.
"Now, what do you want?" I folded my hands across my
chest.
"I want us to get married." he replied in a husky voice.
"Married?" I laughed.
He nodded saying
"Please..."
"I don't know." I said quitely.
"What don't you know?" He teased
"I...I...need some time to think." I replied trying to get out
of the car.
"Teju.." he gripped my arm.
"You and I know, you don't need to think. We both know we
love each other and would want to be together forever." he
said quitely.
I open my mouth to speak but couldn't. He was right, I love
him. He was my dream man!
I exhaled sharply.
"Is that a yes?" he mumbled, his hands drawing imaginary
shapes on my laps.
I pushed his hands roughly away.
"Thank you for accepting me Baby." He said sweetly,
swaying towards me.
I shifted to the extreme end of the seat, pressing myself
against the door.
"Love you baby." He pulled me towards him.
"No, David don't...." His kiss stoped the remaining words
"We can't do this." I moaned catching my breathe.
"Can't do what?" he teased, nibbling at my ear lobes.
I felt his hands sliding underneath my dress...I took a swift
journey to heaven within a few seconds and came back.
I could feel his hips pressing against mine...what more
could I ask for?
"David please..." I tried to break free.
He let me go smilimg lazily.
"When last did we..."
I hurried out of the car before he could complete his
sentence.
I could hear him laugh, I wanted to laugh too.
I needed to tell Maami everything, we're getting married.
She'd get ready to become a mother-in-law.
My princess Eniola would have a family, probably with two
or more brothers.
All is well that ends well.
Be careful the decisions you make for the sake of tomorrow
because tomorrow is the victim of decisions you make
today.
Avoid corner-corner love.Avoid shakara(My fellow girls)
because if you carry belle, shakara go end by force.
Let's be wise
*
*
*
*
*
*
****THE END****
THANK YOU FOR MAKING OUT TIME TO READ THE STORY.
GOD BLESS YOU.
DID YOU LEARN ANYTHING FROM THIS STORY?



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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MARA episode 5 [Read it]


I thought I still had fish in this house o!
As I bent down to rack my wooden cupboard for more pieces of dry fish to complete my Egusi soup, I felt a very sharp pain in my tummy.
“Jesus!” I exclaimed suddenly as I quickly drew a stool nearer and sat down.
What pain was that now, ehn?
I had read in one ancient book that had survived the test of time with me since secondary school- “Where there is no doctor” that whenever a pregnant woman feels any sharp pain in her tummy, she should see her doctor as it could mean a lot of things.
My eyes were so swollen as if they would jump out of their sockets!
My headache was very great!
What could be wrong with me?
Or was it the stress of the day?
The stress of knowing that I was pregnant after three sets of twins with my fate unknown as regards what my husband’s reaction to the news would be?
Or was it the embarrassment of seeing my baby boys on the Almajiri mat, singing beggars’ songs?
Or was it the stress I had undergone in transferring my anger on Taiwo?
I shook my head in sadness.
After I had seen what I saw at the market, not knowing what to do, I acted a very wise woman and smiled at my neighbor who only got bothered.
She looked scared when I smiled and even more scared when I patted her shoulder and spoke patiently.
“Thank you. Let’s go home”
She looked into my eyes again to be sure that I was very okay ‘upstairs’
“Did you know about the whole thing before?” she had asked me and I could only shake my head in the negative.
“Let’s go” I said calmly again, smiling
She turned the ignition key and there was a very thick silence in the car as went home.
“You sure you would be okay?” she asked as I alighted from her car.
“Yes. Thanks, I am grateful” I said as I walked towards the wooden door.
These children didn’t lock the padlock again, ehn!
“Mama, sanu da zoa” Taiwo, one of the eldest twins said from behind me and I turned to look back at her.
She was coming from the shop, a wrapper tied round her slim waist.
Her eyes were very red
“Is it firewood you are using?” I asked and she nodded
“The coal has finished, so I just broke the faulty stool that was in the backyard and used it to fry the chinchin” She explained and I nodded.
She was the most industrious of my children.
“Where is Kehinde?” I asked and she hit the back of her right palm in the hollow of her left palm
“I don’t know o” she said and I turned to move inside.
“What about Bola and Tola?” I asked again.
The second set of my twins could do nothing better than read.
They could read just anything so they must have gone to find something to read somewhere.
I could not afford to buy them books
“What about James and John?” I asked, trying to see if she knew about my boys’ whereabouts
She turned back to look at the shop, then she fumbled with her wrapper
“I don’t know o” she said again, hitting the back of her right palm in the hollow of her left palm again.
“You don’t know where they went to?” I asked again
“I swear to God Almighty, I don’t know” she said again, her index finger travelling from her lips to pointing to the sky.
That gave me the sure answer.
She knew about it!
Whenever my Taiwo swore, it was because she was trying to cover up some lies
“Is my shop locked?” I asked again
“Yes ma” she replied, swinging her right hand
She didn’t know what was awaiting her.
“Come inside” I said calmly again and she followed me inside the house.
I locked the door from behind and pulled her inside the room.
Despite how scanty my room was, it was always neat.
I never condoned any form of dirtiness.
“Mama, what did I do?” she asked as I pulled her in
“Just kneel down there” I said as I dropped my purse on the bed and climbed a plastic chair to pick the koboko I had hid on one of the planks supporting the roof.
I had begged one of my customers who was a teacher to get me one koboko and she gave it to me as she passed in front of my shop last week. I had hid it carefully because if my children should see it, they would have thrown it away.
“Mummy, truth to God, I don’t know where they went to” she started crying
She just gave me more reasons to know she was the one.
I jumped down from the plastic chair and with no restriction, I started beating her.
“By the time I take breath from your mouth, you would know that your mum hates lies” I started as I readjusted the mouth of the koboko
“Mummy, they told me they were going to Kasuwa” she said
She had started confessing
Let me increase the tempo of the beating…she has to confess
Taiwo of all people!
“I told them not to go o mummy” she said again, tears cascading down her face.
I landed two clean slaps on her face.
Why lie?
As she increased the gear of her crying, I pinched her tightly.
She screamed
“If you don’t keep quiet!” I whispered quietly
I don’t really beat my children that hard but I was mad!
Mad that my children- the youngest of them all could embarrass me
Mad that my most industrious daughter could know about the dirty engagement of her brothers in that dirty business
-And she could still lie that she didn’t know!
I threw the koboko away and pulled her by the ears to myself as I sat on the bed.
“Where did James and John go to?” I asked again
She sniffed wetly
“Mummy, they said they were going to Kasuwa” she said


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Maine, I was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit.Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother’s delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way.A short time later, I was stopped by another trooper.“What have I done?” I asked.“Nothing,” the trooper said, smiling. “I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies.”Related

Wise Son [Read it]


An old Nigerian farmer wrote a letter to his
son in
prison. Emeka, "This year I won't be able to
plant yam
and cassava because I can't dig the yield, I
know if you
were here you would have help me" Emeka
wrote back,
"Dad don't even think of digging the yield
because that
was where I buried the money I stole"
The "Nigerian
Police" on reading the letter, went there very
early the
following day and dug the whole yield
searching for the
money but nothing was found.
The next day, Emeka
wrote back to his father, "Dad you can now
plant your
yam and cassava, Dad this is the best I can do
from here.
Dad replied "Emekus Emekus my son, you are a
very
powerful man indeed, even in prison you still
command
the policemen, I was surprised to see all the
policemen
with Hoes and Shovels digging my farm, I will
write you
again when I want to harvest"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-21 13:04:43

491 Views



Birthday girl [Read it]


one word for her








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-08 10:06:46

1071 Views




A fat electrician while having sex asks her wife: Bolo priye tumhe kya gam hai?

Wife: Swami Load Jyada aur Voltage kam haiRelated

The 5 stages of getting ready for work on Monday mornings:

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

Good Morning, Have a very nice Monday!Related

A little boy walks into his parent's room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down.the mother sees her son and quickly dismounts,worried about what her son has seen.she dresses quickly and goes to find him the son sees his mom and asks.what were u and dad doing?the mother replies"well,u knw ur father has a big belly and sometimes i hav to get on topof it and help flatten it."u are wasting ur time,'said d boy."y is dat?the mom puzzled."well when u go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets down on her kneels and blows it right back'."which kind pikin be dat?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-12 21:25:50

2090 Views




ONE WRONG TURN
Episode 27

The sight of my mum standing
there with the gloves in her hands
terrified me. Cold shivers down
my spine.
This scenario was familiar, i knew
what she was up to, she had done
it before.
But this time, her result will be
different, i had lost my virginity a
few hours ago.
I could not imagine what will
happen to me if she discovered
the truth.
“lie down” she ordered in a stern
voice
“mummy please don’t do this, i
beg you” i pleaded, kneeling
down and sobbing uncontrollably.
“shut up, since you cannot explain
why you came home late, i ll find
out for myself” she said, moving
towards me.
“mummy i didn’t do anything,
please don’t do this to me again”
“I forgot to give you money for
feeding along with transport, so i
felt you would use your transport
money for food. i stoped by at
your school to give you some
money on my way back from
work. I was told that you and
your friends left after the English
lesson. Where did you go?”
The entire story shocked me very
much. My mum knows definitely
that i was not in school.
I couldnt tell her where i went
either, that would spell the end of
lectures for me.
I had to say something, anything
to get out of this mess. It was
moments like this i wished i had
Ruth here.
” i went home with Ruth”, i
blotted out, without thinking it
through.
“havent i warned you never to go
close to that prostitute?”
“she is the only friend i have” i
said, increasing my tears and
hoping it would soften my mum’s
heart. But that was not to be”
“friend indeed, how am I sure you
haven’t been sleeping with men
just like her”?
“mummy i swear i haven’t”
“in that case lie down let’s see”, as
she tried to pull me up from my
knees unto the bed.
My excuses and lies were futile,
my mum was bent on doing her
inspection.
I knew exactly how bad this could
get, the embarrassment would be
colossal. I was determined not to
allow it happen.
I made up my mind to stand up
to my mother just like Ehis had
adviced.
I broke away from her grip, and
moved away from the bedside
towards my wall mirror.
“My friend lie down on that bed
before i lose my temper”, she
yelled angrily.
” I’m not lying down, leave me
alone” i yelled at her with the
same ferocity.
The expression on her face
changed, the anger was replaced
with surprise and disbelief. This
was the first time i had yelled at
her.
“so Ella, it has come to this?” She
asked, walking slowly towards me
I began to retreat, as she
approached, I knew this was not
going to end well for a certainty,
but knowing about the state of
my virginity would hold far more
dire consequences.
I had my back to the wall already,
there was no further room to
retreat. My mum closed in on me
and aimed a slap directly at my
face.
I caught her hand mid way in the
air, and held on to it.
“so you want to beat me too?”
She asked, and began to scream.
“Ella must beat me today”
She broke free from my grip, and
held on to my tightly to my shirt,
ripping it apart with all her
energy.
She gripped my singlet as well,
and began to tear at it. I did not
have a bra on, if i allowed her to
tear my singlet, i ll be Unclad.
I grabbed her hand firmly,
preventing her from tearing my
singlet. We began to struggle, as
we pulled in opposite directions.
She freed one of her hands, and
grabbed my skirt. It wasn’t firmly
on my hips, neither was the
material of good quality. The
slightest pull would rip it apart.
I wasn’t putting on any panties
either, and i thought there would
still be stains of dried blood on
my tights.
I just couldn’t let her strip me
Unclad. I leaned foward a little,
resting my whole weight and
pushed her slightly.
My mum went to the ground as if
she had been knocked down by a
bulldozer.
She began to scream on top of her
voice, “Ella is fighting me o, My
own daughter is beating me”
Her screams must have alerted
everyone in the house, as i heard
doors flying open inside the
house.
The first to arrive at my door was
Ighalo. He banged on the door,
trying to inquire about what was
happening.
I ran to the door, and unfastened
the hook. Ighalo ran straight at
my mum on the floor, and tried to
pull her up. She resisted every
attempt to get her on her feet.
“mummy i told you not to fight
her when she returns, just look at
what is happening” Ighalo said,
picking up my torn shirt and
throwing it at me to cover myself.
My dad entered the room in a
hurry, and yelled “what is
happening here?”
” Ella is fighting me o, Ella is
fighting me. Your daughter is now
sleeping with men, i wanted to
check if she was still intact, and
she started fighting me”
Those words cut deep into my
heart, i felt a mixture of anger and
remorse. I did not know how to
show those feeling.
My heart began to pound, and my
knees knocked each other. I was
deeply terrified.
“so it has gotten to this?” My dad
asked in anger, walking towards
me and pulling out his belt.I knew i was in big trouble.


>>

Sometime later, I hear her calling my name and I walk towards where the voice is calling from. I eventually locate her voice inside the bedroom.
She has already dressed up, sitting close to the standing mirror with her sophisticated make-up kits. She is adding a pink grease on her lips. She is looking ravishing with all the moderate applications on her face. Although she still looked strikingly beautiful without them a while ago.
“Could you help me zip up this?” She points her finger towards her back.
“Why not?” I move close to help her, but immediately the zip is up I hear, “Ouch!”
“What is it, dear?” I ask softly.
“Please, please, draw it down again,” She says painfully with a babyish voice, “It has hooked my skin. Do it gently.”
Now I am drawing it down slowly, and suddenly I feel a grab on my hand. Remilekun is holding my arms from over her shoulders, and she seems to be maneuvering them to where I don’t know. Somehow I act in accordance to the destination. Finally I find my two hands on her grape-shaped bosoms. She turns her face up to me; desires sparking in her eyes. The word I can read out of her eyes is, “Come into me.”
I understand her. But I never had that in mind being her first visit here. Then like a petrol on a dying fire my sexual urge begins to burn with rage. I become harder than ever before. I draw her up gently from the seat without saying a word, or rather I am saying something with my eyes. Things like, “Baby, I am coming.”
Gently she presses her lips into mine. We are both thirsty for the watery milk that lay buried in our tongues and lips. From our nostrils we exchange warm breaths which make our spirit become one. Her eyes are tightly shut, but mine are partially closed. She soon wraps her arms over my head, pushing it slowly towards her luscious grapes. I never knew, until now, that her top had been stripped down. Neither did I know when she stripped off the cups that are masking those tempting globes. in a breathy voice she urges me to feed on them. As I obey my mistress a loud moan rises high into the air.
A little later she whispers another instruction into my ear, “I would like it if you eat me before you occupy me … that’s why I had a shower.”
I smirk … Is that not a cunny language for the habit brought by the white men – using my tongue to play with the honey well…she deserves that from me. What with that pure skin that is not different from a fresh apple.
In the end, I carry out the instruction beyond what my mistress could imagine.
After we both take a shower we set to the dinning. By now the rain has stopped. Debby is no longer there. I can see Remilekun’s eyes fixed on me; smile on her face. I urge her to continue eating and she seems to be eating the food with passion. I am amazed that she could finish the food she claimed she would only nibble at.
When we are done eating I see her rummaging her bag for something. At last she brings out the holy Bible.
“Swear to me,” she says to me, almost with tears in her voice, “ that you will never meet any woman after me.”
She further says that I am the second man that would see her private world.
I have confirmed that – just like a narrow road that has never been trodden by any foot.
She tells me about the guy that made her a woman who later broke her heart while she was on campus. She says the young man left her for a lady that is not up to her standard.
“Some men have no heaven!”
She continues with pressure in her tone; tears run down her cheeks, “ and many of them are blind … I have once promised myself that I wouldn’t meet any other man till my wedding night. But I don’t know what charm you have used on me.”
I am lost for words at her agony. I know how she feels. The same way I felt when Titi left me for a rich man. But her own case is different because her father is affluent.
I hold the Bible which she had already stretched at me. We both hold it at equal length. She asks me to swear that I would never cheat on her or leave her till death do us apart and same thing applies to me – then we both swear.


>>

Lund Toh Choot Ki Baddi Shaan Hoti Hai;

Lund Bina Choot Bhi Shamshaan Hoti Hai;

Yeh Zindgi Ke Saare Khel Toh Lund Ke Hein;

Warna Choot Aur Gaand Ek Samaan Hoti Hai!Related

Desmond: Beauty and i are just friends
Stephanie: don't care(he held her hand)let go of me;i cant love you and i wont love you anymore. go stay with Beauty(she walk away)

Desmond: wait?
Beauty: let her be
Rose: son;let her be


Jackson: your mom said.....
Desmond: dad;please i am not in the mood;is it too hard for you all to understand me?
Jackson: you are hurting yourself and also everyone around you
Desmond: dad;please don't tell me what to do
Jackson: i want you to be happy. move on with your life and eventually you will fall in love again
Desmond: dad;i can't. do you think i haven't try to?why do i always want to be around Beauty?is because i want to love her but i just can't;i and Stephie are a prefect match. just like a pair of shoe;one cannot leave the other like. two loves birds when one die the other cannot live again

Jackson: son;you are not making sense. she is the one saying its over;there is nothing you can do about it. there is a saying;if you love someone you set them free. why don't you do that
Desmond: i can't and i just can't;i have never felt this way for anyone and i will do anything to get her back
Jackson: careful son and please next time don't treat a lady like the way you treated her
Desmond: i won't dad
Jackson: alright son

Faith: Beauty;why are you crying?
Beauty: mother;i can't believe that all this years i was hoping for something but that thing;when it is almost achieve i am losing it
Faith: i don't understand
Beauty: Desmond;cant fall in love with me. i am so tired of everything
Faith: how did you know that?
Beauty: he said it himself;that he was always with me because he want to fall in love with me but he just can't all because of that stupid girl
Faith: don't worry;if it was meant to be;it will be
Beauty: i pray he fall in love with me. i just pray so

Stephanie: the last time;you talk to me on the phone;you sound so cold. don't you want to talk to me again?
Anita: what are you doing in my house?
Stephanie: is that;what you are asking me?am i no longer your friend?
Anita: i don't think so;so leave
Stephanie: are you asking me out of your house?
Anita: why wouldn't i?you are not my friend
Stephanie: you are kidding right?

Anita: i am not;get out(she walk to the door and open it) use the door;i don't make friends with rude and unruly people
Stephanie: you are not serious right?
Anita: does it look like i am joking(she pushed her)
Stephanie: is okay;i am leaving
Anita: better(exit Stephanie)rubbish
Alfred: what is going on?
Anita: nothing;welcome
Alfred: thanks;what do you mean nothing?i just saw Stephanie drove out with tears in her eyes
Anita: i sent her out
Alfred: what?why?
Anita: i want her to go learn her lesson
Alfred: but you wouldn't had done that. she is your friend and you are her only friends and she need someone to talk to;that is why she came to you
Anita: i don't care;let her go
Alfred: if you say so
Anita: i said so

Stephanie: i hate it(she scream and park) why would she treat me like a leper. what did i do wrong?
Desmond: hey;can't you see that this is a public road?if you are tired of driving or your car have fault pull it off the road(she raise her head)Stephie
Stephanie: you again?i hate you(tears roll her eyes)i disperse you
Desmond: are you crying?
Stephanie: why wouldn't i cry?when you always hurting me
Desmond: how?
Stephanie: stop hurting me;stop torturing me. i need to live my own life
Desmond: i am sorry;if i made you cry(he open the door and pull her out)please stop crying(they drove off the road for others to pass)am sorry;what happen?
Stephanie: i decided to visit Anita and all she could do was show me the door. she said i am rude and unruly

Desmond: is alright;maybe she is in a bad mood(he wipe her tears)stop crying
Stephanie: thank you(she hug him)
Desmond: is okay(he wipe her tears)come on;my baby
Stephanie: i am not your baby(he laughed)why are you laughing?
Desmond: nothing(rain pour down)come on;lets find a shade
Stephanie: no;i want to be under the rain(she run under the rain)it is so nice
Desmond: stop it;you will fall sick
Stephanie: i don't care;catch me;if you can

Desmond: you really won't change
Stephanie: no(he catch her)sorry;you are all wet. thanks. i got to go(she start her car but it would not start)

Desmond: are you alright?
Stephanie: yes;it just refuse to start
Desmond: don't worry;let me check(he try but it just couldn't start)it refuse to start;don't worry i will get the mechanic to fix it but you will have to ride with me
Stephanie: what?

Desmond: don't worry;i wont hurt you
Stephanie: alright fine(they drive)how are you?(he stared at her)what happen to your head?it hard a scratch
Desmond: it is from the push i had with your friend
Stephanie: i am sorry;does it still hurt(she touch him)
Desmond: no;it doesn't(he held her hand)thank you(he continue staring)
Stephanie: uh...um...thanks for the ride. i got to go. bye
Desmond: bye(she walk away)hello mom;Blessing;how are you?
Blessing: is everything well
Desmond: i am famish. i need food

Blessing: oh brother!is all well
Desmond: what is it with the question?
Rose: son;are you okay?
Desmond: mom;i am fine and please stop staring and asking question. is embarrassing
Blessing: sorry;but the last time i saw those smile and acting of yours;was five years back and then you were with Stephanie
Rose: Blessing
Blessing: mom;that is the fact
Desmond: you are something else (Rose phone ring)
Rose: excuse me. i got to take this call
Desmond: no problem mom

Blessing: brother;tell me;are you back together
Desmond: don't be ridiculous;cant i be happy(he sneeze)
Blessing: you have cold but please tell me the truth
Desmond: alright;she talked to me decently. she even touch me and she didn't use abusive words on me
Blessing: what?
Desmond: yes;she was just her old self. i was thinking i will never get her that way
Blessing: i told you patient but you wouldn't listen. so are you two couples
Desmond: not for now(enter Beauty)

Blessing: you need to hear the good news. Desmond and Stephanie;will soon be getting married(she coughed)are you alright?
Beauty: is it true?
Desmond: don't mind her
Blessing: is the truth
Desmond: i will just go to my room

Blessing: me too
Beauty: so he was just using me to forget his sorrow but it will never happen not in this life;nor the other(to herself)even if someone have to go down. i will do it

Monalisa: baby;you are wet
Stephanie: yes mom;i just need to go in and change
Monalisa: no problem;your Vina is inside
Stephanie: really
Monalisa: yes;what happen to your car?
Stephanie: it developed some fault
Monalisa: alright;change to something else so you won't feel cold
Stephanie: thanks mom. i love you
Monalisa: i love you too
Stephanie: vina;so you came(she change her clothes)
Vina: how are you?
Stephanie: am fine(phone ringing)
Vina: don't you want to pick?and who is calling?
Stephanie: is Desmond(he text)
Vina: answer it
Stephanie: i don't want to;i don't have what to tell him;maybe he thinks we are okay;now base on the fact i talk to him
Vina: he hurt you deeply. he did all that because of mom and he also want to protect you
Stephanie: and the only way; he think he could do that;was to stay away from me?
Vina: that was the right thing to do
Stephanie: it wasn't;he would had told me;he would had confided in me but no;he did all that with Beauty
Vina: do you think;if he had told you the truth;you would had accepted it?
Stephanie: yes;why not?
Vina: baby;relax the truth is difficult to accept
Stephanie: fine;it were so. he didn't missed me. he just move on with his life;he stop loving me

Vina: he never did;he went to the airport;you weren't there because you left already;he wanted to commit suicide;he took into drinking;he was hospital for a month;he travelled to the state but he couldn't live there;he never stop loving you
Stephanie: but he didn't call or drop message on my inbox
Vina: he doesn't have your number;he was scared of you not picking up;he always did called to asked after you and when i told him you are fine ...
Stephanie: and that alone is sufficient for him
Vina: no;i told him that the only way;you will take him back was if he completed his school because at that point in his life;he wanted to quit school
Stephanie: why?
Vina: is because he was frustrated
Stephanie: what?
Vina: he felt he lost all he ever wanted in life. his dad almost disinherited him but now that he has move on with life;why can't you just be happy for him?
Stephanie: i am happy for him;i am not a selfish person i just got hurt
Vina: i know;he also got hurt. so let go of the anger in your heart and hear him out
Monalisa: yes;my daughter;hear him out and give him a chance to love you and for him to feel your love

Stephanie: have you been standing there for long?
Monalisa: yes;please do it for yourself. i want you to be happy
Stephanie: mom;are you sure you are okay with it?
Monalisa: yes;am fine by it. i love you and i want you to be happy. since your happiness lies with him follow your heart
Stephanie: thank you mom(she hug her)i love you
Monalisa: i love you too
Vina: what about me?
Stephanie: i will always love you
Monalisa: go talk to him
Stephanie: i will text him so we can meet


Beauty: Desmond;why are you so happy
Desmond: do i look good?am i scenting nice?come on;tell me
Beauty: what is going on?are you expecting someone
Desmond: do my after shave look nice?
Beauty: yes;tell me what is happening
Desmond: Stephie want to meet up with me;so we can talk
Beauty: what about?
Desmond: i don't know but it sound like it will be for the best
Beauty: really
Desmond: yes;are you not happy for me
Beauty: yes;but what if it something else?
Desmond: lets just wait and see(enter Stephanie)welcome
Stephanie: thank you;how are you Beauty?
Beauty: i am fine;i will leave you two
Desmond: alright;thanks(she walk away)how are feeling?(she sneeze)you have cold
Stephanie: yes
Desmond: i told you not to bath under the rain but you won't listen
Stephanie: i never always listen;i am always headache for you
Desmond: that is not what i meant
Stephanie: sometimes;life toss us up and down and it look difficult but in a real sense we are the one that makes it look difficult;when i first meet you;we were pretending to be in an intimate relationship but then we became friends;we fell apart and came back again;i drag you into all my mess;you got t live in a foreign land all because of me but we were still friends until the whole sarcasm of intimate feelings began but it didn't work out. it is hard for me but i have to let it go. i need to set myself free......
Desmond: wait,please wait don't tell me you feel nothing for me anymore
Stephanie: you kept asking me that;what about you?haven't you stop loving me?
Desmond: i never did and i will never do that

Stephanie: you never did call me
Desmond: i did always do that with my sister phone and i always drop message on your mail acting like my sister and whenever i asked about myself; you will always say annoying things about me but i didn't stop loving you. mom almost admitted me in psychiatric
Stephanie: what?
Desmond: she said i am mad
Stephanie: why didn't you tell me;you went through all that because of me?(she turn and saw her picture)you painted me?

Desmond: yes;i did it myself and i don't want yo to love me;conditionally
Stephanie: whoa!am sorry;am really sorry for making you pass through all those pains. Vina told me everything
Desmond: i am sorry too;please forgive me and please;don't tell me;you don't love me anymore because of that boy. those times i saw the two of you together my heart mend into water
Stephanie: we just friends;it just so happen that you saw that rubbish
Desmond: is alright;does it mean we are okay now
Stephanie: yes(he brought out the necklace) you?
Desmond: yes;that day you passed out at the bank;on my way to the hospital;i was trying to remove your jacket so you can get sufficient air. i saw it. i thought you throw it away
Stephanie: i wanted to but i just do not have the heart to
Desmond: i am happy you didn't throw it away because it was a symbol of my love for you
Stephanie: funny you
Desmond: please close your eyes
Stephanie: why?
Desmond: just do it(he brought out a ring)you can open it
Stephanie: what?
Desmond: will you marry me(Beauty enter clapping)what are you doing?
Beauty: nothing;cheering you up
Desmond: but she haven't accepted?

Stephanie: Desmondesmond;what do yo take me for?
Desmond: i don't understand
Beauty: are you taking me for a fool?don't you think i have feelings?i have been with you all this years but not for once did you gave me a gift nor draw my portrait. through your trying period i was there;all those times you were downcast i was there;i let go of the one i love all because of you. i forget myself while loving you

Desmond: but we were just friends not lovers

Beauty: i have always love you right from the start. right from when we were kids and the day you asked me how does it feels to be in love and i said the person i fall in love didn't love me back;i was referring to you. it hurt
Stephanie: i am sorry;i know how you feel
Beauty: no you don't;all his life;he gas been fighting for your love not even for once did he thought of hurting you. he is always thinking about your feelings
Desmond: is okay;we can work this out
Beauty: how will you do it?get married to me and tell her to go
Desmond: but i can't do that
Beauty: really?you don't want to choice me over her?
Desmond: yes;i cant. you of all people know the entire story. why are you acting like this?


Beauty: no problem(she brought out a knife)

Stephanie: Oh my gosh!
Desmond: are you insane
Beauty: of cause;i am. choose between me and her or someone will go down
Stephanie: it hasn't gotten to that
Beauty: shut up(she slapped Stephanie)
Desmond: what are you doing?
Beauty: what dies it seems i am doing?
Stephanie: somebody help;anybody
Beauty: keep quiet;you are annoying(she hit her with a bottle and she fainted) stupid girl
Desmond: Beauty;stop this madness. i beg you
Beauty: oh you can beg
Blessing: mom;it seems something is going up there
Rose: what is it?
Blessing: i don't know but call the police
Rose: Mercy;call the police
Mercy: i will(they hit the door) open up
Beauty: so you are still proven stubborn?i know what to do(he dragged the knife and Desmond was stabbed)
Desmond: Beauty;you stab me
Beauty: i am sorry (Stephanie wake up)
Stephanieesmond;please wake up. somebody help
Rose: my son(they open the door)Beauty;you will never get away from this (police came and took her away)

Desmond: mom;please stop crying
Mercy: Stephanie;you are bleeding
Stephanie: is nothing;lets take him to the hospital
Desmond: please take good care of yourself and always know that i love you(he passed out)
Stephanie: please hold on. don't die on me;i beg you(they take him to the hospital) Vina;i don't want anything to happen to him
Vina: is okay;nothing will happen to him
Stephanie: it hurt that right from the first day you became friends with someone;you never stop making him cry and feel pains. you never for once make him happy. you put him in a dangerous situation all the time and at this point;he is fighting for his life because of me. it hurt right?i told myself that i wont make him fall in love with me but i ended falling in love with him and hurting him
Blessing: is not your fault that my brother is in this mess. it just so happen that he had so many woman in his life and he just couldn't reciprocate their love
Stephanie? that is the more reason it is my fault. he couldn't fall in love with some one else because of me

Mercy: it will be alright;we all just need to be strong for him and for each other
Stephanie: mom;i am sorry
Rose: is okay;i was the one that made my son's life complicated;i cause it all and up till now;i am still hurting him because if my action
Jackson: Rose;stop it;my son is going to be fine and things will get better. please be strong for him
Rose: i will. i am not crying Monalisa: i heard what happen;things will be different very soon
Rose: of cause it will

FELIX: how are you?
Stephanie: do i look fine
Felix: no;you don't
Stephanie: i am just so tired of everything
Felix; i know is devastating for the one you love not to be in a good condition

Stephanie: i am so sorry that i couldn't give yo the kind of love that you show me
Felix: is alright;i understand how you feel. i know you don't love me;i was waiting for you to show me all those love i see in your eyes and the pain you felt when you say those words to him at the hospital;i felt you were using me to forget him and i saw your mood when i hold you and kissed you that day;it show that you felt that you were cheating on him
Stephanie: i am sorry
Felix: you don't have to. i just wish but i don't want to fast you because i want you to be happy and i don't see any reason or ways that i can make you happy. so i let you
Stephanie: forgive me;if i cant love you

Felix: is fine by me;i just hope after now we will still be friends even if i am jealous of him
Stephanie: yes;we will always be friends. you don't have to be jealous of him because he is fighting for his life and i know you will find someone better than me
Felix: thanks;i know he will be fine(she hug him)


Stephanie: thank you very much
Desmond: Stephie;Stephie(he open his eyes)



WAIT FOR THE FINAL EPISODE


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thieves [Read it]


a medical doctor went to a phone specialist to fixed up his phone and suddenly he told him that it is the wiring that have mix up


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-02 03:32:05

474 Views




Employer: "We need someone responsible for the job."
Akpos: "Sir your search ends here!"
Employer: "How?"
Akpos: In my previous job whenever something went wrong,everybody said I was responsible."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-22 18:30:13

594 Views




After series of deliberation by past 8, i decided that the only place i could go to was Aisha’s place as she is the only person that will not ask me questions even if i said i want to sleep in her place. My intention was to sleep in her place at least for that night then go to the mosque the following morning as i was so sure i will see somebody i know that i can put up with and the fact that i still have my back to pick up at the mosque store.
It was a surprise to Aisha when she opened her door and realized i was the one standing there, she welcomed me in and asked where i was coming from, i told her i came to check on her as have been trying to reach her on phone but her number was not going, she said maybe it was network issue as her phone was okay and fully charged.
I settled down on her reading chair, i asked about her hand and if she has taken her drug which she answered in affirmative. She wanted to prepare eba for me but her hand was not that strong so i helped her out and we ate on a separate plate. Just like play, it was 10pm, 11pm and i never did as if i want to go home, i believe she do check time at interval but didn’t call my attention to it and i did as if i didn’t know time was already going.
Me: waoh….its almost 12, i didn’t know time has gone like this ooo
Aisha: even me, we are so carried away with our discussion..you cant go home tonight o, its late already, i wont even allow you to leave this place this late
Me: No now, i can still go home, its just zanrab here, i will still see bike or cab (as if i wanted to go before)
Aisha: Please Alfa Abdulrahman, we can manage this place till tomorrow and go first thing tomorrow morning
Me: No ooo…that is not allowed until we are married, you only have one bed
Aisha: I can leave the room for you if that is it and go and sleep in my house mate place
Me: And what will you tell them if they ask why you are not sleeping in your place
Aisha: I will tell them something..Ajoke is my very good friend, i can manage in her place till tomorrow morning while you sleep here
Me: Are you sure?
Aisha: Yes of course……
Me: Ohk…..
Aisha: let me prepare the bed for you before going to her place
Aisha helped me with the bed, she spread a new bedspread for me as i watch her do the necessary things even with the pains on her hand. I tried to collect it from her but she insisted on doing it herself. She stepped out when she was through that she wanted to go and knock on Ajoke’s place to intimate her that she was coming to sleep in her place. I already moved to the bed myself, Aisha opened the door, and came in back with 15 seconds
Me: What happened? Are you not going again?
Aisha: I just saw Ajoke with her boyfriend entering her room now and am sure he is sleeping here tonight.
Me: okay..just don’t worry yourself, you can have your bed and i will manage the floor, tomorrow is already here. Moreover, maybe i will do tahajud (night vigil)
Aisha: No problem..then we can do it together then….
We performed ablution one after the other then settled down for prayer, we finished the prayer around past one and decided to call it a day and return to the bed. I was so tired with the stress have been going through since the previous day that i didn’t even know when i slept off on the floor as Aisha put off the light.


>>

It was already 3 months into my work at the Bank, have not visited home ever since i went home in 100level, my parent had not visited me too. I started sending money home to my parent on a monthly basis as i tried to send at least N10k for their upkeep out of my salary of N32k and NYSC alawee of N9.7k. I tried to stop having sex with my sister but it all proof abortive.
I was doing well in my marketing activities, in fact my landlady and her two kids were the first set of people that i opened account for. I opened a savings account for her and kiddies for her two children. I became her account officer, sometimes i will go to her flat very early in the morning if she has any money she want me to pay in for her after which i will come back with the duplicate teller after close of work. This make us to become closer to each other, i will play with her kids and even follow them out to flower garden during weekends and there was this bond. I always noticed that Mummy Daniel will look at me and smile anytime am playing with her kids.
There was this particular day i came back from office around 9pm, i got to her flat, knock on the door, there was no light that evening and she didn’t put on generator, the only thing i saw was the light of her nokia phone used as touch light that was placed on the table, i called her name and there was no response, i wanted to go out of the room when i heard a sound from the dining area. I pick up the phone, pointed it to that area and there she was on the dining putting her hand over her head.
I walked up to her to greet her that was when i noticed swollen face and tears all over her face, i asked what happened, took her time before she started talking after busting into tears. “am tired of all these, am tired of doing everything alone, its been seven years she got married and she has never enjoyed her husband 6 month at a stretch and the fact that she got married at early stage of 22years while i was in 400level in the university says a lot about my marriage, now am doing everything all alone, the work, catering for the children and every other stuff”.
She said a lot and i tried as much as possible to console her, i used to think she was that old not knowing she was not even up to 30years. I moved my chair close to her and rested her head on my shoulder, i use my hand to clean her face as i had no handkerchief, i assured her everything will be fine in no time “When? Until am 50? When will i start enjoying my marriage and my husband” she inquired. Very soon ma, i assure you everything will be fine ma, i responded to her.
I pat her from behind and continue to clean her face with my hand while resting it on my shoulder and assuring her everything will be fine but she kept asking “When” “When will that be”, i responded with “Now”, she looked at my face and before she could say anything, i placed my mouth on her lips and kissed her, she looked at me with surprise without saying anything, she was still looking surprising when i placed another kiss on her lips and she responded, she was putting on a gown and that was when the unexpected happened on the dining, we had sex on her dining table.
She ran away from me immediately we both came, i dressed up and went to my room. She was at the balcony on my way going to the office the following morning, i was in the office when she called me and asked what gave me the courage to do what i did yesterday, i told her i didn’t know what happened maybe because i couldn’t withstand the tears coming out of her eyes and i was touched and moved. She asked if i mean it that i will always be there for her and never make her feel the absence of her husband, i was silent for a while because i didn’t remember saying that at all but i knew i said so many things while my deek was inside her just to make her feel better, i answered her in affirmative.
That was how i started a relationship with my landlady, i was behaving like her husband, we will take the children out together every weekend, i will call her every morning and night before going to Bed, she was seriously enjoying her new relationship status as she border less about her husband that was not always around.

Read Episode 56

Banta: Why is the male organ called the fountain of youth?

Santa: Because whoever, whenever, wherever rubs it – it’s wrinkles go away.Related

Akpos and his best friend Kome sat in the
exam room to write their final exams.
Kome had studied very well for the paper
while Akpos had not.
This is what went on between them in the
exam room.
INVIGILATOR : 10 mins more…
AKPOS : Kome, are you done with the
theory?
KOME : Yes, but I am now doing the
objectives.
AKPOS : Ok then pass the theory to me, for
me
to copy because I have not done anything.
KOME : Is that so? Ok take it and copy
because
time is not on our side.
AKPOS : Thanks
INVIGILATOR : Get ready to stop
work……
KOME : Hey Akpos, give me my paper.
AKPOS : Oh Kome, I couldn’t do it
oo…it was too much, so I cancelled your
name
and wrote my name there…
KOME : What!!!

Teacher: Pappu, you know you can’t sleep in my class.

Pappu: I know, but maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.Related

It’s so easy for a man to understand a wife when she isn`t His!Related

the Hungry man [Read it]


A hungry man pray to God dat he should stumble on 2000 on the road nd promise dat is going to give God 1000.not up 2 5 minute after he had made the prayers,he saw 1000 on d road and he quickly pick it,look up to d sky,shook is head and said my father in heaven na now con fear u ooo...u nor like cheaten at all,sharp sharp u don quickly comot ur own share
Hahahahahahaha




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-17 17:56:16

316 Views




Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny
iprmoetnt tihng is taht the
frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can
be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is
bcuseae we do not raed
ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe. Preosllnay I tinhk its cmolpete nenosnese......#AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-06 13:30:40

320 Views




On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

Fastforward to Sunday, I first went to pick my
parent at home around 10am and headed straight
to Biola’s house. I was chatting with her at every
point in time to ask about her parent and she
already told me they went for morning service and
back at home. We got there around past eleven, knocked at the door and it was her junior brother
that came to open the door for us. I was just
behind my parent ashe ushered us into the room, I
guess he wouldn’t have opened the door if I was
the only one as I remembered what happened the
other time. My Mum: Ekaaro Mummy way…..eku ojo meta
Biola’s Mum: Good morning Ma, Morning Sir…
Longest time ma
“I prostrated to greet her and she responded
somehow” I got the response as I know I wouldn’t
be attended to had it been I was the only one that came to the house but atleast she respected my
parent.
My Mum: awon daddy nko ma? What of business
Ma
Biola’s Mum: We thank God oo…Daddy is fine.
Femi, please go and call daddy, tell him he has some visitors
My Mum: hey yah…I know you would have ben
angry with us ma
Biola’s Mum: angry ke? No ooooo why should we
be angry
My Dad: Ahhh Mummy wa, we all knew what happened and where we are
My Mum: Good morning Sir, how is work sir
Biola’s Dad: Good Morning Ma, Morning Sir..what
do we hold this august visit
Me: Morning Sir
Biola’s Dad: How are you snakie…how is work Me: Fine Sir
My Dad: welldone Sir…We are sorry breaking your
rest sir
Biola’s Dad: No problem Sir, you are welcome…
you’ve not offered them anything
My Dad: We are the one that asked them to wait as what we are here for is more urgent than the food
Biola’s Dad: Urgent ke? I hope nobody died?
My Dad: rara sir oooo…..well am snakie’s Dad and
this is his mom
Biola’s dad: Ohk….
My Dad: And we are here because of both of them? Biola’s Dad: What happened to them cos the last
time I checked my daughter is fine and absolutely
doing okay
My Dad: Daddy, I know you are still angry with what
happened in the past and its worth it if you are
angry about it. But we thank god things are settled and the person that caused this problem is
definitely out of the way now and there’s nothing
stopping them from getting married to each other
and I believe they have both learnt their lessons
now
Biola’s Dad: You mean the snakie that caused the problem is no more there again? who is the lucky
guy you brought for my daughter now? So, you want
to be passing my daughter within your family
My Mum: rara Sir, it was Mary…her secret is now
opened sir and we all now know that snakie is not
responsible for her pregnancy Biola’s Dad: So, instead of blaming snakie that
caused all the problem you are now shifting the
blame to the poor girl…Come to think of it, did she
forced herself on him? Was it not snakie that
brought her home and was staying together with
my daughter with pretence she was her cousin My Dad: That’s the point sir but we thank God that
things have returned back to normal now
Biola’s Dad: Which Normal?



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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smart old woman [Read it]


A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer : Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer : Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer : I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer : Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer : Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer : You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and
calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman
steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite
stunned.

Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands
it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer2 : Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a
license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up
the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-27 07:47:25

221 Views



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