Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Some kids where in their street along the road talking about something in the sky, some kids said that is the sun others said no it is the moon they then saw an elder passing through and decided to ask him. Pleases bros what is that in the sky they asked, the bros looked up and said. E be like sun and e still be like moon, i no no watin e be una know say this place no be my street.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-27 20:06:32

522 Views




Make una take dis Enjoyyyyy!!!!!English Lesson!Teacher: today we'll talk about question taqs.Examples; 1. She is coming, isn't she?2. They have eaten, haven't they?Teacher: who can give me another example?Abu: Sir!, Na Yam we go chop 2day, chopn't we? Teacher: what kind of sentence is that, pls who can help correct him?Akpos: Sir, Na Yam we go chop 2day, yamn't we?Teacher: U guys must be stupid, must u joke with everything....oya Emmanuella as we've already knew u're brilliant give us an example. Emmanuella: na motor go kill our teacher, killn't it?Teacher: Na motor go kill ur father, stupid girl.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-08 20:41:32

981 Views




Santa Badi Buri Halat Me Ghar Aaya

Sabne Pocha Kya Hua??

Santa : Mandi Me Anaj Bech Raha Tha “Gehoon-Le-Lo”

Unhone Samjha “Gay-Hon-Le-Lo”Related

TIRED OF LIFE [Read it]


Akpos was tired of life, so he decided to
commit suicide under a mango tree. His
son, who just won a $1 million dollars
lottery, got home to meet his dad hung.
He started crying and said he was going
to use the money to make his father's burial the biggest in the history of their
village. Akpos heard what his son said, woke up
and said, "Praise the Lord! I'm alive!!!
Now son, why don't we use the money
to celebrate my resurrection instead."
#?BOLLY_SMART?™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-19 21:58:50

238 Views



Words of Wisdom [Read it]


Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater.If you give her a sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.So, if you give her any aggravation, be ready to receive a ton of stuff in return.Related

Colgate: Dentists ki number 1 pasand



Pepsodent: Dentists ki number 1 pasand



Closeup: Dentists ki number 1 pasand



Ham Chutiye hain??Related

Kanjoos(Miser) lawyer working in UK wrote to his wife in India .Dear Sunita Darling,I can’t send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected my Company’s performance, so I am sending 100 kisses.You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation.Your loving husband,TunaHis wife replied..TINKU KE PAPPA,
Thanks for the 100 kisses.Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses…1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.2. The electricity man, Kooldip Singh, agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.3. Your landlord Kapal Singh comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of the monthly rent.4. Supermarket owner Jaswant Singh did not accept kisses only, so I gave him other items, I hope you understand.5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.Please don’t worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses andI hope I can survive the month using this balance.Shall I plan the same for the next month?Your Sweet Heart,SunitaRelated

Banta was walking in the mountains just enjoying the scenery when he stepped too close to the edge of the mountain and started to fall.

In desperation he reached out and grabbed a limb of a old tree hanging onto the side of the cliff.

Full of fear he assessed his situation. He was about 100 feet down a shear cliff and about 900 feet from the floor of the canyon below. If he should slip again he’d plummet to his death.

Full of fear, Banta cries out, “Help me!” But there was no answer.

Again and again he cried out but to no avail.

Finally Banta yelled, “Is anybody up there? “

A deep voice replied, “Yes, I’m up here.”

“Who said that?”

“It’s the God.”

“Can you help me?”

“Yes, I can help. Have faith in me.”

“Help me!”

“Just let go.”

Looking around, Banta became full of panic. “What?!?!”

“Have faith in me. Let go. I will catch you.”

“Uh… Is there anybody else up there?”Related

When there was corruption in Nigeria,dollars was #180 but wen buhari came nd took away corruption dollars is now #500.. Guys don't u tink we need corruption in Nigeria....??


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-23 21:35:29

730 Views




The Nigerian SSS had an opening for an assassin. After all of
the background checks, interviews, and testing were done
there were three finalists…
Two men and Akpors’ wife.
For the final test, the SSS agents took one of the men to a
large metal door and handed him a gun,
SSS AGENT: “We must know that you will follow your
instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside of
this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!”
1ST MAN: “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my
wife.”
SSS AGENT: “Then you’re not the right man for this job.”
The second man was given the same instructions. He took
the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five
minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes,
2ND MAN: “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.”
SSS AGENT: “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife
and go home.”
Finally, it was Akpors’ wife’s turn. She was given the same
instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went
into the room.
Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard
screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few
minutes, all was quiet.
The door opened slowly and there stood Mrs Akpors. She
wiped the sweat from her brow, and said,
MRS AKPORS: “This gun is loaded with fake bullets. I had to
beat him to death with the chair.”
PLEASE WHAT KIND OF WIFE IS THIS? #B-goF


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-04 08:11:32

625 Views




Even though i was not comfortable with her presence but who am i to complain, i remembered his statement that we must always learn to live with different people with different characters. I couldn’t come to term with the fact that Ismaeel already have a boyfriend at that age, the lady even slept on our bed and the fact the she was even a Christian..how will Ismaeel be dating a Christian when we have so many muslim sisters in school, most especially in MSSN. I couldn’t erase the fact on my head that she was putting on jean and a top on that particular day, no scarf to cover her head or whatsoever. For the first time in so many years, i had to combine Zuhr and Asri prayer together that day (2pm and 4pm prayer).
It was during our conversation i got to know that Ebun was a 200level student of Business Administration in Lead City University Ibadan, in fact that was the first time i was hearing the name of the University. So, where exactly did he meet brother Ismaeel is what i don’t know. I was still on the thought of how they met each other when Ismaeel opened the door on me
Ismaeel: salam aleikum
Me: wa aleikum salam
Ismaeel: She has gone?
Me: Where will she get a bus going to Ibadan this evening
Ismaeel: she’s not going to Ibadan straight tonight, she is going to her sister’s place in GRA and will be going back first thing tomorrow morning
Me: She has a sister here in Ilorin
Ismaeel: Yes
Me: Then why didn’t she go and spend the night in her sister’s place
Ismaeel: she just decided to stay here..i know what you are thinking about Alfa Abdulrahman, we didn’t sleep together in this room, i slept in Ezekiel’s room yester night, while she slept here….i hope you are not thinking that i have started having sex at this age when i know the consequence and what the quran said about fornication and adultery
Me: I was surprised too but my mind is definitely at peace now hearing the detail of what happened but i don’t like the way she dress in a provocative way
Ismaeel: You call that provocative brother Abdulrahman? She has even changed, am trying to change her little by little, you know its a gradual process and i don’t want to force the religion on her, i want to gain her heart with my character and the way i practice Islam. You know the holy quran said “La iqraha fi deen” (There is no compulsory in religion)
Me: i understand your point of view though but even if its just for her to be using scarf to cover her hair for now and stop wearing trousers
Ismaeel: Its little by little…its a matter of time
Me: okay, please don’t do what will be against the will of Almighty Allah..
Ismaeel: Yes of course
Me: So, where his Ezekiel?
Ismaeel: He has gone home..he went home like 3 weeks ago, his girlfriend was around and left a week after him and drop their key for me to keep. Ezekiel i learnt will be coming back next week i guess
Me: okay..what about every other person
Ismaeel: They have all gone too aside Esther that didn’t go home too….
Me: What is she doing in the hostel
Ismaeel: I don’t know oooo…lets i even forget brother Abdulrahman
Me: What is that?
Ismaeel: There is this guy that finished from our department who want to dispose off some of his property and asked if i will be interested in taking his TV and DVD
Me: TV and DVD? Do we need it and how much is he selling it?
Ismaeel: Based on our relationship, he said if i can afford N10,000 and i believe its very cheap
Me: N10,000?
Ismaeel: Yes, i already have N7,000 with me and am thinking if you can add N3,000 to it to complete the money.
Me: TV and DVD will definitely be a distraction at home now
Ismaeel: But it wont cost anything either having it at home to relax with once in a while
Me: What about our accommodation fee?
Ismaeel:We will pay now, at least they are sending us money next week and i know you will still get your salary from your coaching centre but if you feel you don’t want to contribute, i will find the means of completing the money but i believe it will be beneficial to you as i will still leave them for you when am out of the school
Me: Ohk…no problem.
I had to give in to brother Ismaeel demand since his response look like a blackmail and gave him 3k later that evening. I told him i will like him to follow me to the bank the following morning that i want to go and open a student account with Oceanic bank and he said no problem.


>>

THE SEX SCENE (18+)
I was watching one
American film yesterday
night
with my Dad and Mum,
as we were watching
the
film, a young boy of my
age started romancing
his girlfriend, they kissed
each other and when
the guy's hand crossed
the girl's private part, I
looked straight at my
dad and noticed that his
eyes had changed, then
I focused my eyes more
on the film even though
I knew my dad wanted
me to leave the parlour
at once, I did not care.
They were still kissing,
this time hotter, then
they
both fell on the bed
and the guy was about
to open the girl's
brazier.
My Dad looked at me
with his red eyes and
shouted"have you
ironed the car"
.
lolssssss
I jst had to send dz...dnt laugh much tho


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-04 20:55:49

1454 Views




Akpos Teacher Was Surprised To See Akpos With A Black eye In School,She Asked Him What Happen,He Replied That "Every Midnight,My Parent Will Wake Up,Then My Dad Will Call My Name,If I Answered,He Will Give Me A Blow In The Eye And He Will Asked Me To Sleep".The Teacher Realising What Akpos Parent Want To Do Told Akpos That If His Dad Call Him Again This Night,He Should Not Answer But He Should Just Sleep Off.....The Next Day,The Teacher Was Surprised To See Akpos All Over In Bandage,She Asked Him What Happen Again.He Replied That "When My Dad Called Me I Did Not Answer,When He Saw That I Did Not Answer.He Woke Mum Up And They Started Moving Up And Down On The Mat..It Got To A Stage That Mum Told Dad That Is He Coming.Dad Said "Yes".Dad Also Asked Mum That Is She Coming.Mum Said "Yes",Then I Thought That They Dont Use To Go Anywhere Without Me,So I Told Them That Am Coming Too..Dad Nearly Kill Me[Akpos Said In Tears]...Akpos Teacher Fainted


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-18 10:33:46

214 Views




A reasent studdi haz shon dat peepal hoo aar vary samaart end gud lukeeng maik manee spallings meestaikes… vaat ees yorr opeeniun?Related

Use your human intelligence in the best way you can; transform your emotions in a positive way.

– Dalai LamaRelated

Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others.

-PlatoRelated

A professor was asked to give a talk on Sex

When his turn came, he stood, walked to the podium, adjusted the microphone just so. He said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure.”

And he sat back down.Related

Joab: what are you doing here?
Zeal: just checking on you to know about your welfare
Joab: i don't think you know the meaning of those words. you are a monster;the devil himself;do you have to reopen my old case and for what?for you to have my family under your control?
Zeal: i am just doing it for my kids,my son wanted real vengeance for his mother's death
Joab: Zuriel
Zeal: of cause and i want my kids to be happy
Joab: you are a monster;stay away from my kids
Zeal: no problem(exit Zeal)
Joab: wicked soul
Zuriel: Isabella,can we talk
Isabella: sure sit
Zuriel: thank you
Isabella: what do you want to talk about?is it Zippor?
Zuriel: no at all;if someone hurt you;will you be able to forgive the person
Isabella: of cause
Zuriel: even when they hurt you really bad?
Isabella: yes because i pray every day for God to forgive me and to answer my prayer and my wished
Zuriel: and among all this wishes which one of them do you want God to grant
Isabella: that my family should be hold again because what ever troubles we have gone through is all because of me
Zuriel: and you really hope that it will happen
Isabella: of cause because if i wasn't born in same hospital with you everyone would had been at peace and if i haven't meant you then i would had still have my life
Zuriel: does it mean you are still mad at me and that you can't forgive me?
Isabella: i am not mad at you
Zuriel: now i understand why you are so cold towards me;i am sorry for all the pains i cause you;for always being in your life
Isabella: yes let it go;i need to look for my brother
Zuriel: but i am yet done talking to you
Isabella: then have the conversation yourself(exit Isabella)
Zuriel: i can't believe this
Katherina: dad are you alright?(he coughed)you keep coughing and the doctor said your blood pressure is increasing rapidly
Joab: i am fine;am just alright(he continued coughing)
Katherina: don't you think we should apply for bail again considering your health condition just maybe they will change their mind
Joab: they will not except Isabella's dad decided to;my case of murder against your mom had been appeal
Katherina: what?i can't believe this
Joab: of cause its the truth;Zuriel want vengeance for your mom
Katherina: this can't be happening(he passed out)dad;please wake up;warders get my dad to the hospital,dad;i beg you please wake up(she cried)

Zippor: good day sir
Zeal: how are you?
Zippor: am fine sir;i was hoping to tell you that i will be going back to my house
Zeal: why?is it because of what happen?
Zippor: no;not at all
Zeal: then why?
Zippor: sometimes;one try as much as possible so not to hurt the people around. all my life;it was my dad yelling at me;hurting me all because of something i did or because of Isabella and i at the other hand answering back but all of that i didn't do because i wanted to disrespect him but because i want to drive home my point because i wanted my family to be perfect;i wanted everyone to accept each other and my family to hold again. all i wanted was to make sure that my family doesn't torn apart;i wanted to protect everyone of them,even if i lost myself,while trying to do so but i am a failure. none of what i did is working(tears roll his eyes)

Zeal: that is not true;Obedient is wrong
Zippor: no;he is right and i am wrong because i am not perfect;so i shouldn't expect perfection from my family;thinking of that is dreaming of having wings which is impossible. but is it too much to ask for a peaceful family;if not a perfect one?(tears roll Zeal's eyes)
Zeal: you kept thinking of your family;don't you think you do have your own life?don't you think you deserve to be happy?you need someone to love you also,not just you loving others
Zippor: i don't have any ideal of what it feels to owe oneself,i am a grown man;i don't need all that. the word 'MYSELF' doesn't exist in my vocabulary. i really don't know what it means and i don't intend to. seeing everyone around me is enough
Zeal: but you need someone to care about you like your dad(Zippor laughed)why?
Zippor: dad's love is not for me;just maybe if i am given an opportunity to have another dad in my next time,which is not possible i will experience fatherly love but for now;that is futile
Zeal: don't you have girlfriend
Zippor: no;i don't because the one i first dated hate Isabella. so i decided not to think of that till Isabella have someone to take care of her
Zeal: you are funny;you want to sacrifice your happiness for someone that is not your sibling?
Zippor: people don't get related to you because you are from same family;same parents or because you have same blood running through your veins but because they are always there for you;they make you happy;give you the life you thought you couldn't get;the air that make your live;that make you not just want to live but want to live even with all the pains in life and the most important thing was knowing that someone really care about you;that there was someone you could talk to when things look bleak and that space is occupy by Isabella;she is the only one who understand and listen to me and i am fine with it
Zeal: you are really kind
Zippor: i am not;i am just been truthful
Zeal: that is enough;form now on;i will show you the love you deserve;you deserve to be love not just for you to love others;you are now my son
Zippor: what?
Zeal: yes;you said it all;my blood must not run in your vein for me to be your father(he hugged him)i love you son
Zippor: i love you too(curtain)
Ada: mom;eat something
Alice: i don't want to;days goes by and my life is still a mess just maybe;the law of karma is telling on me. when you hurt others;you ended up hurting yourself
Ada: that is not true(enter Zuriel)
Alice: i am bad;that is what i am
Zuriel: mother;eat up;i understand you;you need to get yourself
Alice: and for what?
Zuriel: for those that love you
Alice: no i does;all i have left is just Obedient,i thought they were two but i just lost one again,i lost everything;my husband;my friendship with your mother and you;i hurt you deeply with my words and action
Zuriel: you haven't lost all yet and if you are thinking of Obed;i know dad will let him off the hook one day and don't worry about me because everything you did to me;was for my benefit,you brought me up to be independent and that i like(enter Zippor) so i hold no resentment against you
Alice: thank you;i just wish Obed will be here also
Ada: mom;i think i have an ideal
Zuriel: which is?
Ada: why don't you beg Isabella to talk to dad because if it comes from her,it will be more easier based on the fact that she is the victim here
Zuriel: that is a good ideal
Alice: yes but how can i face her?after everything i did to her,i hurt her deeply. i am a monster
Ada: Zuriel;why don't you talk to her
Zuriel: she wouldn't listen because she is mad at me
Alice: but i thought she loves you and you both are dating?
Zuriel: no;we are just friends
Ada: oh no;what do we do now?
Zuriel: fine;i have an ideal;i will talk to Zippor to help us
Alice: what if he refused(she cried)
Zippor: don't worry about that;i won't refuse;just pray that she accept
Alice: i hope so;i just pray so
Zippor: don't worry;she will accept because she have a heart of gold
Ada: thank you very much
Zippor: don't thank me yet because everyone in my shoe will do what is best for his love ones and no better how bad they hurt you;you learn to let go(he walked away)
Alice: may God blessed him for me
Ada: amen oh


Zippor: my dear pretty Isabella
Isabella: hey brother;what is that for?are you writing a love letter?
Zippor: of cause;to my one and only family(they both laughed)
Isabella: you are cray?
Zippor: not crazy but expressing my love for my fairy goddess and princess
Isabella: that is enough;i know you have something to say because anytime you call me;so many names;you want to asked for something;so go ahead and asked
Zippor: baby;my air please promise me;you wouldn't say no to what i am about to say
Isabella: depending on what you want to say but it shouldn't be you telling me that you want to leave because is a no from me?and if you insist then i go with you
Zippor: silly you;come here;i promise you a month and is not up to a month;is just three weeks;so i still have a week
Isabella: alright;we see about that;then what did you want to say(enter Zuriel/Obedient/Ada)
Zippor: Isabella;sit(she sat)do you still remember what mom used to say about family
Isabella: of cause;and that is why i love the show 'FAMILY' she will always say;once you belong to a family;you take their bullish;you live with the trouble;you solve their problems and you justified their mistake
Zippor: and its because....
Isabella: they are family
Zippor: exactly;you don't choose your family;you can always pick your friends and even those you will fall in love with
Isabella: yep and that is one bad thing about family
Zippor: i know back then when we both stare at the star;we both always wish for one thing;do you still remember
Isabella: that we shouldn't be the reason for our family to fall apart but be the reason why our family should be hold again
Zippor: that we are pillars
Isabella: of cause;that is more reason i have to make things work out for my family
Zippor: thank you;you won yourself two family;one has fallen apart and one is still left but heading towards same way. would you want that?
Isabella: of cause not;i will do anything to prevent it but i don't know how to
Zippor: just open your eyes and learn to forgive
Isabella: who do i forgive?
Zippor: Obed
Isabella: what?i can't and i wouldn't;he hurt me
Zippor: yes;he did and in the process of hurting you;he hurt me as well and i was ready to do anything for him to rotten there but he is now one of you
Isabella: he is not my brother,i have just one brother and that is you and i don't need anything else
Zippor: its easy to say but remember we can't choose our family or stay mad at them forever because they will be with us till the end
Isabella: yes,its true but i just can't forgive him;he raped me and make me barren;do you remember?
Zippor: yes in your show 'FAMILY' you once said if you find yourself as a victim of your brother;even if it hurt;pierce like a knife through our heart,we should always find a place in our heart to forgive because no one in the family is perfect;so we have to tolerate everything
Isabella: i know but it hurt(she hugged him and cried)
Zippor: i didnt mean to make you cry;just want you to be happy because that is what(enter Zeal) siblings or should i say brothers do for sister?
Isabella: alright;fine if dad comes i will tell him
Zeal: what are you going to tell me
Ada: welcome dad
Zeal: thanks and Zuriel why are you standing there?
Zuriel: nothing dad;welcome
Zeal: and you son(to Zippor)
Zippor: welcome sir
Zeal: so what do my princess want to say?
Isabella: dad;can we...(she pause)
Zippor: go on
Isabella: dad;um..we can;sorry is it possible that we...what am i saying?Zippor can you do it for me?
Zippor: do it yourself don't be scared;you can do it
Isabella: alright fine;dad,i just do not want to push through with the case
Zeal: what case?
Isabella: let go of Obed
Zeal: what?do you know what you are saying?is it that someone is forcing you?
Isabella: no dad;i really do not want my family fall apart because of me
Zeal: everything happening is not because of you
Isabella: there are something you don't need people to tell you;that its all your fault,why it happen. you used your brain;you just fight it out yourself. dad;if you truly love me;you will set him free because i want peace of mind and i can't never gain that when i harbour resentment
Zeal: but....
Isabella: no dad;its enough;i have heard it all,you don't have to feel that i will stop loving you or you want to make it up to me. you can do that without hurting your other son;you have show me love already by closing your eyes without been partial to give me justice. that is why i want you to be happy too because i see the pains in your eyes when your son is in jail all because of you(she take his hand)please dad(he hugged her)i will always love you
Zeal: i love you more;i will just talk to the policeman in charge of his case
Isabella: really?
Zeal: yes
Isabella: thanking you very much
Zeal: i should be thanking you(exit Zeal)
Zippor: i told you;you can do it
Isabella: and is all because of you;thank you for been such a sweet brother
Zippor: nothing you(they both walk away)
Ada: those two are really so sweet
Zuriel: are you thinking of having such a brother
Ada: no;i am not;i was just thinking;if he can treat someone that is not truly his sister so nice;it makes me wonder how he is going to treat the woman he love
Zuriel: i just hope is not what i am thinking
Ada: what are you thinking?anyway;it wouldn't be a bad ideal;if we are dating
Zuriel: if you have any plan of dating him;just rule that out because Isabella will kill you
Ada: why would she?is it a crime to fall in love with her brother or is she a selfish girl?
Zuriel: i am not saying anything like that;just because...
Ada: i have heard but i will still go after him
Zuriel: if you say so
Ada: yes;and i meant it(curtain)


Obedient: hey;young lady(she wipe her tears)you are crying again?why is it that every time we meet,you are always crying?
Lola: sorry about that,let's just say wrong timing
Obedient: what will i do to make you smile now?
Lola: is nothing;i will be fine;your talking to me is enough and you;the first day we met;you were sad also;why were you sad?
Obedient: is nothing
Lola: stop acting tough;i notice you are having issues with that boy
Obedient: what?
Lola: of cause;anyway it's better you stop making friends with him
Obedient: why?
Lola: its simple;he look like a gay and it doesn't tell well of a person making friend with someone like that (he stared at her)that is it;dont stared at me because being a gay is ridiculous
Obedient: you talk too much(he turn to leave)
Lola: hold on;did i say anything wrong?fine;i am sorry if i offend you with my words i really didn't mean it. is just that;i find it out of place for a boy to be attracted to a fellow...
Obedient: boy;go on,judge and castigate me because i am a gay
Lola: what?(she open her mouth)
Obedient: will you please close your mouth
Lola: i am sorry(she turn to leave)
Obedient: you are leaving because i told you the truth then fine;go on leave
Lola: no;i am not judging you,its just that i don't know what to say;even if i want to help,i just can't because i have my own problem;my dad is lying on conscience at the hospital;sibling are divided;i am just so confuse
Obedient: am sorry(he hug her)
Lola: is not your fault;i know you can still change;all hope is not lost because you are feeling remorse about it
Obedient: thank you(he write his number on her hand)
Lola: what are you doing?
Obedient: that is my number
Lola: funny(she turn to leave)
Obedient: bye
Lola: (she turn and pegged him)bye(exit Lola)
Obedient: whoa(he smile and walk away)
Ada: Zippor;what is your favorite color?
Zippor: sky blue
Ada: favorite food
Zippor: whoa!its seems you want to know everything about me?
Ada: exactly;that is if you don't mind
Zippor: its nothing
Ada: fine;can you tell me;please
Zippor: alright;you already know my name is Zippor;i have three sibling,am the second among the four kids of my parent;i like teasing those i love;i hate bullies;i like sincerity;honesty;i am easy going;not tginking of making money but just having sufficient for me and my family(enter Zuriel/Isabella)my favorite food is rice;music R&B and this is me. is there something else you want to know about?
Ada: um...
Zippor: go on;say it
Ada: is not like i am trying to know everything about you;i just want to asked..(she pause)
Zippor: what is it?
Isabella: Zuriel;where is my brother?
Zuriel: are you going out?
Isabella: yes;i want to go visit my dad
Zuriel: at the office
Isabella: which office?do you want to mock me that my dad is imprison?
Zuriel: sorry;i didnt mean to
Isabella: anyway;where is he?
Zuriel: at the sitting room
Isabella: alright thanks
Ada: it just that i was wondering,if you have a girlfriend?(he laughed)what is funny?
Zippor: do you want to be my girlfriend?
Isabella: Zippor;can we go now?
Zippor: hold on;go on answer me(to Ada)
Isabella: no;she doesn't;shall we?
Zippor: alright;Zuriel;do you want to go with us?
Zuriel: no;i don't think i can face him now?
Zuriel: your dad;Isabella told me;you are going to see your dad
Zippor: Isabella;i told you;i don't want to see that man(enter Mercy)
Isabella: please;i beg you
Mercy: excuse me ma,someone called she said,'she is Lola and that she is your sister
Zippor: yes;what did she say?
Mercy: she said your dad passed out at the prison and that he has been unconscious for a week now
Isabella: what and she is just calling now?Zippor,lets go
Zippor: to where?(enter Obed/Zeal)
Isabella: to dad of cause
Zippor: to do what?are you a doctor?nurse?which one of them are you?
Isabella: will you keep quiet
Zippor: fine suite yourself but i am not going with you. are you not tired of getting hurt and crying?if you are not;i am. i just don't want to see you crying and begging a man that doesn't love you;just stop forcing yourself on him;stay away from him because he is not your father(she slapped Zippor)the truth hurt right?(he walked away)
Isabella: come back (she walked after him)
Zeal: what is going on here?
Zuriel: Obed;welcome back home
Ada: thank goodness (she hugged him) Zuriel: go on call mother(enter Alice)oh!here she comes
Alice: my son;thank God you are back. are you alright?let me get you something to eat?Mercy go and prepared my son room;prepare his water for bath;while i make his favorite meal
Obed: mom;that is enough;i am fine;i don't need all that(he knee before his dad)there are so many times;i felt hurt;i felt you don't love us and every time,i look at you,i want to get evil with you;i always feel that you really do not love us;so i seek for love and care outside and i ended up drinking and taking drugs;smoking and always hanging out with girls bit none of all this solve my problem. it just aggravate it and when i find out that Isabella is your daughter;i was happy i did raped her because i was so mad at you but those days i spent in prison;i realised that i haven't been a good son and that i hurt everyone around me;my step mother;my step brother and even you dad and for what?because i was looking for love but(enter Melisa)how can i get it when i don't know how to love. i am sorry dad;i understand if you just can't forgive me because i failed you and hurt you at the same time. i am really sorry and thank you for releasing me
Zeal: you shouldn't be thanking me or telling me sorry. all i need from you is to show that you really meant those words(he walked away)
Obed: i am sorry(he turn to Melisa)
Melisa: you don't need to;there is no need crying over spilt milk because it's as happen already;lets assume that none of that ever happen. its in the passed(she turn to leave)
Obed: you still wouldn't forgive me also?
Melisa: just let me be(exit Melisa)
Obed: i am sorry
Zuriel: that is enough
Obed: do you forgive me?
Zuriel: who am i to say i forgive you?when i know i turned you into that;if i wasn't in your life;your dad wouldn't had seen all flaws in you. so its all my fault. you don't have to apologies to me because i don't deserve it;i am a freeloader
Obed: that is not true;you are still my brother(he hugged him)
Ada: and that we never change
Zuriel: i will never stop loving you as a brother.....





READ MORE




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Dictate [Read it]


The teacher told her class the word of the day was "dictate" and asked who could spell it.


George raised his hand and he spelled out, "d-i-k-t-a-t-e." 


The teacher said, "sorry that's wrong" Then she asked Akpos. 


Akpos slowly spelled out, "d-i-c-k-t-a-t-e." 


"Sorry" says the teacher, "that's not right either." 


Next, she asked Fiona After a slight pause Fiona began spelling, "d-i-c-t-a-t-e." 


"Very good Fiona," applauded the teacher, "that's correct. Now," the teacher continued, "who can use this word in a sentence?" 


Akpos raised his hand quick as a flash shouting, "I know-I know," 


"OK" replied the teacher, "please use the word Akpos." 


Akpos responded, "How did my dictate last night, Fiona?"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-09 13:49:38

123 Views




WOMAN: My Husband is not
interested in sex.
DOCTOR: Ok! give these pills
to him.
Everyday, put 1 pill in his
tea.
the woman did and they
had sex which they enjoyed.
Next day she puts 2 pills in
his
tea and they enjoyed much
more sex.
3rd day, she emptied the
whole bottle in
his tea. …Two days later
Doctor called to know the
progress.
Son picked and replied: "Mom
is in coma at the moment,
Aunt is in hospital,
Maid is suing Dad for rape,
My own ass hurts and
bleeding
and Dad is still running
Unclad in the garden,
shouting Bingo! Bingo!!
Bingo!!! but the dogs are also
running for their lives.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-27 06:42:02

689 Views




Episodes: >>

1. “Never play with the feelings of others because you may win the game but the risk is that you will surely lose the person for a life time.” – Shakespeare.

2. “The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people. But because of the silence of good people.” – Napoleon.

3. “I am thankful to all those who said NO to me. It’s because of them I did it myself.” – Einstein.

4. “If friendship is your weakest point then you are the strongest person in the world.” – Abraham Lincoln .

5.“We must learn to live together as brothers or we will perish together as fools.” – Martin Luther King .

6.“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi.

7. “It is very easy to defeat someone, but it is very hard to win someone.”

COMMENT WITH YOUR FAVOURITE QUOTE OR ADD YOURS!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-20 10:04:58

403 Views




A virgin is someone who has never had sexual intercourse or sexual activity.
Virginity In Yoruba Culture
During the traditional era and before the advent of colonialism, virginity was held at high esteem among the Yoruba people. A lady is expected to get married as a virgin as having sexual intercourse before the wedding ceremony is a taboo. This is the reason why the intending couple are not allowed to have close contact or be in the same room with each other before the D-day: thus, the need for an intermediary (Alarina).

Virginity to them is known as ‘Ibale’ and it is the pride of any Yoruba lady to keep hers till her wedding night.The wedding night is usually seen as a frightened day for the bride and her parents. In those days, mothers were fond of asking their daughters about their virginity so as to prevent the shame and disgrace that come with not been a virgin.
On the wedding night, a white cloth is usually given to the couple and the cloth will be spread on their bedding, mostly mats. The parents of both families sometimes stay at the entrance of the house waiting for the cloth to be brought out of the house while some parents will be in their homes expecting result. In this culture, the white cloth is expected to be stained by blood and after the sexual intercourse, if the cloth is stained, it means that the new bride is a virgin. If it turns out that the white cloth is not stained with blood, it signifies that the new bride had been promiscuous and slept with a man before.

A bride that is met as a virgin by her husband will be celebrated while the one that is not will be disgraced and banished from the village. The white cloth (stained or not) will be sent to the bride’s parents. Other items like rotten yam, half-filled matches or empty box of matches, half keg of palm wine will also be sent to them meaning that their daughter was rotten and not complete before she was married. The parents will be publicly blamed for not training their daughter. Grief, sorrow and loud cries will follow suit. Such bride that will sweep the whole village, dance naked in the market’s place before she finally leaves her village. The groom also has the right to divorce such a woman.
On the other hand, if the newly-wed was met as a virgin, the groom’s family will send a full keg of palm wine, full matches box to the bride’s parents indicating that their daughter was complete before the wedding night. She will be praised publicly and her parents will be happy. It is believed that virgins have self-discipline and are well-trained by their parents.
This custom and virginity has many advantages as it prevent the rate of fornication and helps the married women to be faithful with their husbands. Also, many lives have been lost to the act. Some young ladies have committed suicide because of the shame. Highly respected or elders can also commit suicide if their daughter was found to have lost her virginity before her marriage. This tradition is no longer in practice and has eaten deep by colonilisation.

IBALE(VIRGINITY)....ITS ALL ABOUT A MAIDEN FROM HER VILLAGE TO THE UNIVERSITY, SHE KEEPS HER VIRGINITY THROUGHOUT HER LIFE, BUT WHEN SHE GET TO THE UNIVERSITY SHE HAVE TO FIGHT VERY HARD IN ORDER NOT TO LOSE IT BECAUSE IT'S A LAW AND AN OAT MAKE BY THE ANCESTORS AND MUST NOT MISTAKENLY BE BROKEN BY ANY HOW GUY IF NOT THEIR HUSBAND

WILL THE MAIDEN LOSE HER VIRGINITY?
WHO WILL DISVIRGIN HER?
WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF HER SEAL HIS BROKEN?
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE GUY WHO BREAK IT?
WHAT'S IS BEHIND THE LAW AND THE OAT?
WHAT CAUSES THE LAW AND THE OAT?

STAY TUNE FOR IBALE(VIRGINITY)







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Keep quiet [Read it]










NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-17 07:21:25

414 Views




If steroids are illegal for athletes, then Photoshop should be illegal for models. ????Related

A young girl after her honeymoon came fully exhausted and tired, when her friends asked her what happened?

She replied, "When this 70 year old bastard told me he has saved a lot for the last 50 years, I thought it was money!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-01 10:34:58

132 Views




Girlfriend  'Akpos, i'm tired of this relationship!.
''Why,
what is wrong?''. I asked Akpos.
She replied, ''Since we started dating, you
haven't laughed or smiled at me."
Surprisingly Akpos replied," ''Was it not you
that said that you wanted a serious relationship?''.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-22 08:12:30

1732 Views




Notice in a Punjab Roadways Bus:


Eve teasing is an offense. Passengers are requested to cooperate.Related

Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.Related

JOB INTERVIEW! [Read it]


INTERVIEWER: Tell me the opposite of Good.
MAN: Bad.
INTERVIEWER: Come.
MAN: Go
INTERVIEWER: Ugly
MAN: Fine
INTERVIEWER: U're wrong!
MAN: U're right!
INTERVIEWER: Shut up!
MAN: Keep talking!
INTERVIEWER: Ok now stop all that.
MAN: Ok now carry on all that.
INTERVIEWER: Get out!
MAN: Come in!
INTERVIEWER: Oh my God.
MAN: Oh my Devil.
INTERVIEWER: U're Rejected.
MAN: I'm selected.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-16 08:46:37

197 Views




Johnny: I wished i had listened to what my mother has always told me.
James: what did she say.
Johnny: i don't know, i wasn't listening.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-18 13:31:19

473 Views



S*X DOCTOR [Read it]


An old millionaire businessman got
married to a beautiful young lady and
on their first night of marriage, he
made love to her but she did not have
an orgasm! This happened for many
nights in a row until eventually, the old man went to see a sex Doctor. "Doctor, I can't make my wife reach
orgasm" He informed the Doctor. "Well, why don't you hire a young man
to stand over the bed and wave a towel
while you make love to her." The Doctor
suggested. "Okay Doctor, let me try it." So back to his wife he went with a
young man and made love to her while
the young man stood above the bed
and waved a towel, but still no orgasm! Back to the Doctor he went and he was
advised by the Doctor to make the
young man stand unclad and wave the
towel! Back to his wife he went and again no
orgasm, by this time he was really
annoyed! So for the last time he went to the
Doctor and this time, he was told to
reverse the roles and let the young man
make love to his wife while he himself
waves the towel. So off he headed home and allowed the
young man make love to his wife. After
a long hard session, the wife had a
screaming orgasm, in fact, she had
multiple orgasms! The old businessman tapped the young
man on the shoulder with a huge smile
and said, "See, that is how you wave the
towel!"
#BOLLY_SHOW ?? ? ? ?™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-27 22:37:51

414 Views




A hausa guy was dating an igbo girl for 2 months, one day his dad send him an errand, fortunately he saw the girl coming towards him.. He was so excited when she approaches him, she greet him and, he urge her to come near his friend's shop and sit down but his girlfriend refuse to do so, she said she's ok as she remain standing becoz she will soon go.. When her boyfriend notice she's standing inside the sun but didn't know how to say it in English......... He then said to her my dear "leave afternoon and come to evening"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-27 18:27:01

242 Views



Full Bed Bath [Read it]


The nursing student, on her first rotation in the ICU, had to give a patient a full bed bath. She had never given one before and was terribly nervous about it.To make matters worse, the patient was a gentleman in his late sixties who had been admitted after a heart attack. As se nervously set her equipment up, she confessed to the patient that she had never given a full bed bath before.“I’ll tell you what,” he said, “how about if you wash as far down as possible, and as far up as possible, and then I’ll wash possible?”Related

Akpors a Manchester United fan Jumped Out
of Bed Shouting
Jesus Jesus Jesus!!!
Wife: Did You have a
Night Mare??
Akpors: Yes oo
Ekaete
Wife: were you
Chased by a Lion??

Akpors: No oo.. Lion
sef Better.. I saw
Chelsea lifting the
premeir League

LoL,chelsea fans sorry i don't mean to hurt U oo.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-15 06:49:29

607 Views



The blind man [Read it]


A blind man went to a restaurant .
"Menu sir?" Asked the owner.
"I'm blind. Just bring me one of your dirty forks.. I will
smell it & order."
The confused owner got a fork.

The blind man smelt the fork with a deep breath.
"Yes, I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables
"Unbelievable! " thought the owner.


The blind man ate and left.
2
weeks later, the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to see how good
his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was
cooking.

He said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your privates!!", which she does!
He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork.

The blind man takes it, puts it to his nose and says "Oh interesting..!! ! , I never knew Brenda worked here!! :
Owner fainted..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-08 19:53:00

858 Views



Two dude [Read it]


Marry: Hi pretty
Jen: Hello girl
Marry: good to see you here.
Jen: same here
Marry: I love your name and profile pix, please can you be my girlfriend.
Jen: hahahaha i though you are a girl.
Marry: Forget my profile name. I am a guy
Jen: Hmm really?
Marry: Yeah!
Jen: Ok but before i accept your proposal you have to send me some money to make my hair.
Marry: That's not a problem at all. just send me ur bank account detail
Jen: Bank name(Ecobank) Act name(Philip John) Act no(87666******)
Marry: is that your brother's account
Jen: Bros is my own o. forget my profile name

Who is the thief among them?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-12 00:04:35

904 Views




Akpos’ pastor added him on facebook and he innocently accepted.
Two minutes later his message came inbox : Pastor: How are you? Akpos: I’m fine, my daddy. Pastor: May the building of
heavenly favour collapse on your head Akpos: (no reply) Pastor: May the thunder of
Blessing strike you and your
family. Akpos: (no reply) Pastor: May God slash you with
the axe of life Akpos: (no reply) Pastor: May God stab you with the knife of riches Akpos: (no reply) Pastor: May you be sentenced to life imprisonment in the eternal jail of success Akpos: (no reply) Pastor: May the World Trade Centre of happiness collapse on you and your family Akpos (no reply) Pastor: Are you there? Akpos: Yes, my daddy Pastor: You should be saying amen to claim the Blessings. Akpos: Ok, May the over-speeding trailer of blessings jam and crushhh.... you and
your family. Pastor : Hmmnnn....! Akpos : May the earthquake of happiness swallow you and your family members. Pastor : Hmmnnn....! Akpos : May the sea of miracles drown you and your family members in Jesus’ name. Pastor: May thunder fire you! Idiot.....
.
.
like emoticon Abeg, One Word for Akpos


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-28 20:09:59

1283 Views




1. Most compounds are
noiseless because 'I
pass my neighbour
generators are on
sabbatical leave.
2. Wives are happy
because husbands who
like hanging out are
now staying at home
with the family
because drinks outside
are not cold and no fuel
to drive out.
3. All the housewives
are cooking good food
because no more
Crunches and Mr Biggs.
4. Kids are reading their
books since watching
TV needs fuel.
5. No more congestion
in network since many
peoples phones are off.
6. Browsing and
downloading is faster
than before cause not
much people are online.
7. Everybody sleeps
very early now, no
more late night movies.
Light no dey na.
8. There are MORE
PRAYERS and less
distractions.
9. Parents are over-
joyed because their
children that were
always online now
concentrate on their
studies.
10. Even God Himself is
very happy when he
see people that haven't
gone to church for
months and years now
going to church and
staying for both first
and second services
just to charge their
phones.
!......,.,...,.,..,..,...,..,.....
SELFISHNESS is when u post joke expecting more than 20 comment but vow that u will never comment on other people jokes. Lets make this site more lively by commenting nt only by posting.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-07 11:18:04

310 Views




TEACHER: Define a Witch..

AKPOS: A Witch is anybody that always visits when you are about to Eat..........


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-20 16:06:54

717 Views



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