Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

Generouse Akpos [Read it]


A local NGO office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer, Akpos. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.


"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least N15,000,000, you don't give a dime to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"


Akpos mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"


Embarrassed, the NGO rep mumbled, "Um ... no."


Akpos interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"


The stricken NGO rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.


"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," Akpos' voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"


The humiliated NGO rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."


On a roll, Akpos cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-01 07:36:22

160 Views




Me: siri tell me a joke.

*Siri turns on front camera*Related

Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first man he met, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do Father."

The priest said, "Leave this pub right now!"

He then approached a second man. Father Murphy asked, "Do you want to got to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then leave this den of Satan!" said the priest.

Father Murphy then walked up to O'Toole and asked, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole replied: "No, I don't Father."

The priest looked him right in the eye and said, "You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole smiled, "Oh, when I die. Yes Father. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-10 11:31:11

513 Views



My wife cheated [Read it]


Two men were sitting in a bar and the following conversation took place:

MAN 1: I cant takes this any more!

MAN 2: What is the matter?

MAN 1: My wife cheated on me!

MAN 2: That is horrible! So what did you do?

MAN 1: I did what all men will do.

MAN 2: I trust you, that man must have gotten the beating of his life.

MAN 1: I did not beat him, I just told him to buy me a drink.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-20 08:54:39

165 Views




She wants U to buy Cake, Meat
Pie, Shawarma, Ice cream &
Chocolate to kip
her mouth busy on val's day..
Bros abeg buy her whistle
instead.
- A man and his wife are having
drinks, and he says: "I love u!"
She asks,"Is dat u or d beer
talking?" He replies,"Its me
talking to the beer.
- OCHUKO: Why did you wake me
up in the middle of the night?
Akpos: I wanted you to take
your sleeping pills.
- At 40, you are still seeking for
the perfect gentleman. Aunty, you
be
Legend of the Seeker?
- LADIES don’t let your pride
make you celebrate valentine as a
single lady..
DM,ping or call that BOY you
have a crush on to be your val.
- LADIES don’t let your pride make
you celebrate valentine as a
single lady...
DM, ping or call that BOY you
have a crush on to be your val.
- You carry candle dey look for
where fuel dey smell for house...
Yeye dey worry you,
no worry you go soon find am.
- Back in primary school, ibo boys
sitting at the back will be like..
' They were two black birds
sitting on d wall… Nwanem
peter… Nwanem Paul.
- MAN: You told me several men
proposed marriage to you…
WIFE: Yes...
MAN: I wish you had married
the first fool who proposed...
WIFE: I did!
- When Ibo boys were saying
'Nwanem peter,Nwanem paul'
durin d popular
nursery rhythm,Yoruba's were
sayin 'Wonle peter,Wonle paul' RT
if u get it
- When a mother cries the heart
is affected but when a girlfriend
cries, the
pocket is affected..
- There is nothing impossible
for GOD to do but SAHEED OSUPA
can never
win a grammy award.
- At 20,u hardly attract male
attention yet u form hard to
get...which village
witch of yours is fanning
herself with your picture ?
- RACISM is when a white
blackberry is more expensive
than a black one abi
no be the same RIM do both or
white ones dey make video call?
- PIDGIN is the only language
that a question and answer can
be the same... E.g
Q: Papa dey house ?
A: papa dey house...
Q: food dey?
A: food dey.
- A man was jealous of his newly
born baby and he put poison on
his wife's nipples,
d next day,d driver died of poisonin


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-05 15:38:48

365 Views



math ques [Read it]


read carefully
you wanted to buy something of 97k u borrowed your mother 50k borrowed your father 50k.after buying you have 3k left u now give your mother 1k give your father 1k and u have 1K left.
you now owe your father 49k and owe your mother 49k now 49+49=98 + the 2k u gave them now makes it 100k now where is the 1k left with u from?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-12 21:18:33

267 Views



Our Bed !!! [Read it]


At a small parish in rural England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray.
She went to the priest and told him, “Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon.”
The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as ‘our’ not ‘your.’
Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge needed to be trimmed.
She again went to the priest and told him, “Father, I’ve noticed that your…I mean our hedge needs to be trimmed.”
The priest thanked her for again bringing something to his attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch that had gone missing. She said she hadn’t, but assured him she would look for it.
A few days later the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit. The entire parish was busy readying the church for the visit.
On the day the bishop arrived, the same nun came down the front stairs yelling, “Father! Father! I found your watch!”
The bishop said, “How wonderful my child. Where did you find it?”
After saying hello to the bishop, the nun turned to the priest and said, “I found it under OUR bed.”tempRelated

Ochuko: Akpos, why are you

always on Facebook?

Akpos: I like Facebook & I'm

always there for one thing. It's the

only place where you can like

another man's wife without getting slapped.

Ochuko: So, what about Twitter,

why are you always there too?

Akpos: Twitter is the only place

you can follow another man's wife for free!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-13 12:22:47

336 Views




So Buhari thinks he can just extend holidays because of a moon that is missing abi Osibajo pls take note, Christmas is gonna be long too, d three wise men must miss their road????


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-09 09:59:16

454 Views




JOKE PART 24 BY DINDY
There is no problem wearing a tight shoe when you go out.
:
:
:
:
The problem really starts when you can't remove it because you did not carry extra shoe....lol
#DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 25.
Hi guys, I will be releasing a story about my writing success online over a short period of time. It is titled "THE UNDERDOG DINDY", it will be posted to night by 8pm or 9pm. Please invite all your friends to read it, it is inspiring, funny and you will learn about how Dindy does his things, don't miss out @THE UNDERDOG DINDY.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-08 15:44:20

137 Views




Accidents do happen – I slip, I trip, I stumble and fall.

Usually, I don’t mind it at all. However, now I don’t know what to do because I slipped and fell in love with you.

Can you please be my Valentine!Related

Facebook admin. [Read it]


Teacher:what wil u b in future
Akpos:facebook admin.
Teacher:what wil u do 2 ur mum and dad if u grow up.
Akpos:i will add them as my friend in facebook
Teacher:i mean what wil u give 2 ur mum and dad if u grow up.
Akpos;i will give them my facebook username and password.

One word for Akpos


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-21 19:51:30

493 Views




NAMELESS (EPISODE TWO) STORIES DA VIBA
Please do not share without taking permission from us, thanks for reading.

:
:
:

She plodded back the same track, crying heart-felt emotional tears which his strong-set couldn't hold at a spot, reaching a VEE-JUNCTION, few kilometers from the spot she dropped her baby, she heard incoming voices coming her direction, she quickly tucked herself around a tree used for beautification in-front of the opposite house.
The two couples walked engrossed with their discussion which sounded like an argument, after they passed, she lurked out of her hiding place running as her legs could carry her.
Approaching Oye market square, she halted like someone possessed by an unknown force, she thought about the innocent child who she abandoned to the beast of wickedness, she cleaned up the last drop of tears and turned back to where she came from, running very rapidly also praying for her boy's safety, She halted at the spot to her amazement she saw no child talk-less of a shadow.
"How could that be possible!", her instincts surfaced.
She searched the whole place thoroughly but nothing popped up causing fresh hot tears to flow again from the seas of buds, she quickly starting running back towards her house.
"How can i make my parents and relations know that i wanted to dump my child but had a double mind and on going back i saw no baby?".
The more she thought about it, the more her cry and speed increased, she reached their gate, darkness has already started getting subdued by light, she slinked through the gate making sure it made no slight sound, she got to their door and placed her ears to the door plate.
"thank God!!," she muttered although it was quite (which was very unusual for her parents not to wake up by this time).
She walked into the house straight to her room, she picks up a big cloak which contained her cloths and absconded.
(BACK IN TIME; BEFORE THE GIRL WENT BACK TO WHERE SHE LEFT HER BABY....)
A husband and wife coming back from church were discussing about their childlessness after seven years.
"God will answer our prayers soon!?," The man assured.
"But when?", the woman asked morally-retarded by his pre-condition.
"God's time is the best!!.", the husband assumed the second time.
They heard footsteps approaching but didn't get detached from their discussion thinking it might be one of those nocturnal animals, very close to their house, they heard the cry of a baby, the woman traced it despite warnings from the husband that it might be a baby-bush trying to draw its preys, they traced the cry and saw a baby wrapped in a cloth crying.
"Who could have done this wicked act by leaving his child here when they are other seriously looking for the fruit of the womb" The woman said.
"what are you trying to do?", asked her husband.
"I want to carry the baby, do you expect me to leave this child here, who even knows, maybe God has sent the child here knowing our problem" the woman asserted already carrying the baby.
"Don't say i didn't warn you!!", her husband forewarned.
"Trust me on this one" She said already cuddling the baby who surprisingly stopped crying.....to be continue.
#Staffofodin
This story is brought to you by Stories Da Viba and was written by;
1). Nonsegzy
2). Evybliss
3). Princeprezide
4). Dindy
5). Blexxybaby
6). Nelly
Watch out for episode 3, your comments are needed... Please like our page on facebook "Stories Da Viba".



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I SWEAR TO GOD [Read it]


Despite all that has been happening in Nigeria, the fight
between APC and PDP, Army and Boko Haram, Buhari and
Jonathan, EFCC, Subsidy, Fuel scarcity,strikes, kidnapping,in
crease in dollar and decline of naira, unemployment, inflation
and hardship,
Ajah has good news for you
Mango is out...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-29 21:45:09

317 Views



PAINFUL FRUIT [Read it]


My friend, Tayo said that an onion is the
only food (fruit) that can make you cry... So I kept a banana peel on the floor
where he passes home...
#BOLLY_SMART®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-08 18:11:30

298 Views



Woman ehn? [Read it]


A newly married couple was taking a walk when a dog suddenly ran towards them and threatened to bite. They both knew it would bite them. Then the husband lifted the wife up to let the dog bite him instead. The dog stopped before them, barked and barked for a while and ran backwards and left them.

The husband put the wife down expecting a kiss or a hug from her for being so protective of her. But instead, the wife shouted, "I have seen people throwing stones and sticks at dogs but this is the first time I am seeing someone trying to throw his wife at a dog!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-22 22:03:30

4881 Views



New underwears [Read it]


Wife served her husband Akpos food without meat.
Akpos: What a fuck! No single meat.
The wife was scared because she used the meat money for her make ups.
Trying to cover up she says "Honey, you know since we brought this our house girl, we have not cared to buy her underwear. So I decided to use the meat money to buy her set of underwear"
Akpos: But all her underwears are still new.
Wife fainted



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-28 07:44:09

545 Views




A young boy was
walking home after
school when he saw a
small puppy.
He picked it up &
touched it.
Then he touched it
again.
He touched it once
again, touched and
touched and
touched...he then
touched it again, then
he finished touching.
Like I said in the
beginning, A VERY
TOUCHING STORY!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-30 00:16:33

680 Views



Who is more mad [Read it]


Two Mad Men in a psychiatric hospital Akpos and Ochuko were having an argument on who is more mad.

Akpos said; I am more mad than you.

Ochuko said; It's a lie. If you know how many years i have been mad, you won't be saying this.

Akpos then killed himself and his Spirit got up and tells Ochuko to kill himself too.

Ochuko then said; No, i give up, you are more mad than me


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-04 18:41:36

122 Views





He got to her house with a dirty dress only to
be told that christiana had left with her family.
” sir, are they coming back here?” he asked
the gate man in tears. ” dont really know kid.
Just go home” the gate got closed on him.
.
.
.
.
.

Ishmeal went home without being able to
make things right with christiana. He was
sitting under a tree beside their house with
the dog when juliet walked in.” we couldnt
meet her when we went to her house and i
am sure you didnt either” juliet said to him. ” i
will find her someday and apologise to her”
ish said and held the puppy.
Juliet stood still and looked at him. ” so what
name will you give to it?” juliet asked.
“CHRISTISH. Its called christish.” ishmeal
answered.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
YEARS LATER

He lifted his head to see the most
beautiful girl he could ever long for. An
african shaped girl with a huge back, a mixed
colour with fat cheeks. Her pony hair on her
round head looked so beautiful. ” looking at
you now, and comparing you to the juliet i
knew before, there is no doubt you are
beautiful my love” ishmeal said to juliet at the
old field that they used to play on, when they
were kids.
” its been years now and i couldnt refuse your
proposal even though there are lots of guys
running after me, even john our own friend.
You look handsome more than before
ishmeal. Juliet commented. Ishmeal moved
close to her, held her cheeks and began to
kiss her passionately. Christish began to play
around their legs. It was 8pm in the night.
Ishmeal and juliet had completed shs a year
ago. They fell inlove when they were in senior
high. All the same ishmeal didnt forget his
promise to apologise to christiana.
Thanks to christys money ishmeal wasnt as
poor as before. Juliet was also living a
confortable life. ” hei, come over here, stop
that..? Ishmeal began to play with christish. ”
your dog has grown so huge. Im possitive its a
foreign dog.” juliet commented. ” i am glad to
have you and christish with me” ish stood up
and said to juliet. He raised the dog and
kissed it.
What did he mean with his statement


>>

Guy Do not obey your erection at all
times. Most
times our erections mislead us to the
wrong
direction. Control your erection. Don't
let your
erection control you.and It is not
everything you see under
skirt that
you should hustle to eat, some skirts
contain
snakes that will bite you. Control your
sex urge.
Self control and abstinence pays a lot.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-27 11:14:14

331 Views




Three men, a philosopher, a
mathematician and an idiot, were out
riding in the car when it crashed into a
tree.
Before anyone knows it, the three
men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven,
where St. Peter and the Devil were
standing nearby.
"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to
the fact that Heaven is now
overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering
Heaven.
If anyone of you can ask me a
question which I don't know or
cannot answer, then you're worthy
enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."
The philosopher then stepped up, "OK,
give me the most comprehensive
report on Socrates' Socrates'
teachings."
With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.
The philosopher read it and concluded
it was correct.
"Then, go to Hell!"
With another snap of his finger, the
philsopher disappeared. The mathematician then asked,"Give
me the most complicated formula ever
theorized!"
With a snap of his finger, another stack
of paper appeared next to the Devil.
The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct.
"Then, go to Hell!" With another snap
of his finger, the mathematician
disappeared too.
The idiot then stepped forward and
said, "Bring me a chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair.
"Drill 7 holes on the seat."
The Devil did just that.
The idiot then sat on the chair and let
out a very loud fart.
Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?"
The Devil inspected the seat and
said,"The third hole from the right."
"Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my
asshole."
And the idiot went to heaven.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-12 21:40:06

402 Views




I couldn’t help but stare at Mary…her
Buttocks is
out of this world..Mary has a big curvy
Buttocks
that will make a guy go crazy ……her body
structure
is out of this world…all i was dreaming was
how i
will get to see the Buttocks without anytyn
on her…
i was lost in my though when her voice
brought me
back
Mary: uhmmmmm…i go love oooo
Me:lolzz… are not serious
Mary: Is she the one you have on the wall?
Me: Yes
Mary: she’s beautiful…..u have a eye for
good
things..
Me: thank you…like have been saying, you
aren’t
looking bad too and your guys should be
lucky to
have you
Mary: the same way you are lucky to have
her
too…..
Me: yes ooo…just like i said that life is all
about
competition and i guess am the winner in
her game
Mary: definitely…for you to have her on ur
wall and
on ur dp
Me: don’t mind me jare…
Mary: Am done..where should i serve
yours…
Me: Y serve it separately? You can put it
together
now..lets eat together
Mary: No ooo….oko oloko (Another man’s
hubby)
Me: and u are also another man’s wife…put
it
together jhoor, at least it wont stick on us
that we
eat together
Mary: Ohk ooooo……..
She dish the food and we went back to the
sitting
room together….We were eating together on
the
sofa and i couldn’t help but stare at the
cleavage…
all i was thinking was how to get in there…
my mind
was made up to chop and clean mouth as
she
already know am in a serious relationship..i
was
thinking of a way but none was forth
coming..we
finish eating and she took the plate to the
kitchen
while i excused myself to change to a short
and
round neck with CD in my back pocket in
case
something will come up.
I came back and sat beside her once again,
checked time and it was around after 2.
She
concentrated on fashion tv while i was
staring at
her, we will talk about what they are
showing on tv
which am not interested in and gist about
it a
bit….i used my index finger to pick
something on
her face after a while and was trying to
remove the
dirt in there……..
Mary: thanks so much………..
Me: uwc
Mary: watz that sef….
Me: guess its a stain…am still trying to
remove
it…..
I moved my head a bit closer to her and
after
scrubbing the place for a while, i use my
hand to
shrug her hair and place my lips on her
cheek. She
looked at me and i stare back..i expected a
word
from her but she didn’t say anytyn………my
hand
was still on her hair when i moved forward
again
but this time around my lips going for her
lips
too…..she kissed me back and i found my
way in
front of her while resting her back on the
two
sitter…we continue kissing and she was
responding
to my move, my left hand was around her
neck
while my right hand was on her hair and
cheek….i
move my right hand downward a bit and
within a
twinkle of an eye have loosen two button
from her
TM shirt revealing her black bra…..i
continue
kissing while i push up the cup of the right
bra
revealing her fresh light skin bweast and
her brown
nip.ple………..i moved my mouth downward
a bit to
the nip.ple after playing with it for like
5mins….
I let my mouth continue with the work on
her
nip.ple and by this time, i have loosen all
her shirt
button…..i pushed up the second bra cup, i
was
sucking the right one while playing with the
left
nip.ple with my left hand….didnt take so
much time
before she started with a soft moan……
uhmmmm…….i started doing the job
religiously and
was interchanging between the two bweast
with
my fingers and mouth…..i move my hand
downward
after a while to her trouser trying to
unbutton her
jean but she stopped me………i moved
upward again
and started all over again with a kiss…she
responded, then on my mind i was like “why
is she
stopping me from going down if she can
leave
every other place for me”
I rounded my hand over her neck again
moving my
right hand behind her back, i lifted her
hand up a
bit and unbuckle her bra..i have all the
Bosom to
me alone now and i started sucking all over
again
but a bit harder this time around and with
lot of
commitment….i move downward again to
her jean
and she held my hand again the very
moment i
unbutton the jean, she didn’t even allow me
pull
down the zip…
Mary: uhmmmm….okunrin
Me: whats it baby
Mary: so, this is wat it was all about?
Me: watz that?
Mary: to s*x me of course and betray the
trust of
ur fiancée?
Me: sincerely its not like that baby….
Mary: then its like wat playboy
Me: I couldn’t take my mind off u the
moment i set
my eyes on u…u enchanted me baby
Mary: but do u think its ideal seeing me
today and
wanting to get in between my legs
immediately…u
are not even scared
Me: I no u are not a ghost baby and am
sure you
cant harm me…
Mary: well, am not a ghost and i can never
harm u
truly but u guys are the same thing like i
said
earlier but u denied it…am sure will never
think u
are with another lady and as for me,
remove the
thoughtof u having s*x with me from your
mind……….
Me: “sad face” “ise ti ja”………do u want to
hear the
truth baby
Mary: watz it? The truth is that you want
to do
chop and clean mouth…u want to use me
to mark
register as am sure you are serious with ur
fiancée
and nothing can separate you guys
Me: i never thought about chop and clean
mouth
with u..the truth is that i tried to take my
mind off
this happening between us but i couldn’t
help it..i
believe its God that brought us together
and its
definitely for a purpose……because if not
faith that
brought us together, i couldn’t imagine
coming all
the way to Lasu to do wat i can easily do
at the
comfort of my house
Mary: uhmmmmmmm
Me: same goes to you as you can easily
make this
enquiry from your friends rather than
coming to
school. How do u even explain it that after
leaving
u at the corridor of the faculty office, i still
meet u
on my way coming home again…its all God
and
faith not about where we are right now or
trying to
do chop and clean mouth..
Mary: uhmmmmm…….
Me: sincerely, you are every guy heart
desire and i
cherish the day God created you baby..
I moved my mouth to her nip.ple again and
started
sucking it…this time real hard and handling
the
second bweast..as if she has been
expecting me to
make the move, she left a soft moan
immediately…
uhmmmmmm……….uhmmmmmmm…i was
interchanging between the two bweast at
the same
time……i move my mouth a bit to her belly
button
and give it a kiss…..then she jerked..i did it
again..she jerked with a loud
moan….Ahhrrrrghhhh…..Uhmmmmmmm……
Arhhhrrrghhhh…..i concentrated on the
belly button
with my left hand handling her nip.ple
while i use
my right hand to to bring down her jean zip
and
pull it down a bit……..she removed her leg
from the
jean showing her white pant……i could feel
traces
of water all over her pant…she was totally
wet, i
moved my hand to shift her pant to a side
but she
drew me closer pulling down my short
indicating
she needed my Joystick and not my
finger……
I pull my short and boxer fully at the same
time
while removing her own pant too…by the
time i
removed my boxer, she was already totally
unclad
with nothing on again…..i quickly pull out
my rubber
but she was so eager to have me raw….but
i
restrained and put on my rain coat……her
pussssy
was so open and wet as i entered straight
up..i
started digging it hard and it was a feeling
of
excitement hearing her ringtone under
me…”harder….harder baby….”..i knew i
might not
have another chance again so i was
digging harder
but the harder i think i was going the more
she
was shouting “yes…i can feel you
baby….harder
baby……yes……..oh my God……..God ooooo…
yes….”she held me so tight to herself and
we came
after like 15mins………
I lifted her up straight to the bedroom and
it was
another round of s*x with different style
starting
from riding me and to doggy
style…..Apparently, it
has been a very long time i enjoy s*x like
Mary
gave it to me….i was surprise if she was
not the
same person that held me back when we
started in
the first place………..After almost an hour in
the
bedroom…..we both got tired and laid flat
on the
bed and didn’t remember when sleep came.
I
totally slept off and didn’t know what
happened
again but i was very sure i left her awake
before i
slept off.
The only thing i remembered was the
ringtone of
my phone waking me around 8pm and
mary was
right there on my chest…i excused myself
and went
straight to the sitting room,d line cut
before i could
get there and i saw like 15 mixed call…11
from her
and four from other pple…..i was scrolling
tru when
my fone started ringing again….
Baby: Hello………..Where are u?………
Me: Yes baby…am home…have been
sleeping since
ni…i left my fone in the sitting room. Am
very
tired….you no i needed this rest so badly
Baby: Yes baby…i was just worried that u
weren’t
picking your calls
Me: Am fine dear…How was ur day? Hope
not too
stressful?
Baby: Not really dear……………….
I was still on the fone when Mary walked
into the
sitting room with one of my boxer and my
singlet
on……..waoh, i was turn on again with
Dickson
showing up big sign……but wat i needed
was real
food as i was feeling hungry……she went
straight to
the kitchen while i continue with my call..i
was
expecting her to come out and pick her
cloth
preparing to go home but she was still in
the
kitchen….i stepped out of my flat to
continue with
my call..i spent close to 45mins outside
before
walking back inside with the thought that
Mary
would have got angry that i kept her late
but to mu
surprise, she was still on what i left her
with
45mins ago but the difference just that she
clean
up the sitting room picking all her things to
only
where God knows……another thing is that
rice was
waiting me on the table……………..
Mary: Na wah ooooo….so, na call u dey
make since
Me: Am very sorry jare…we had a pending
discussion ni
Mary: Ohk oooo…..have been waiting for
you
since…the food is almost cold sef
Me: Am very sorry…..
I felt so relaxed as we started eating with
the
thought of when Mary will be going home
but with
the look of things she didn’t look like
someone that
is ready to go home. I was not so worried
as that
means more pusssssy for me tonight as i
will use
my opportunity as long as i like…moreoever
nothing
to fear as my baby wont be coming around
till
weekend and i would have clean all my
traces.
We finish eating, played a bit in the sitting
room
before going to the bedroom….it was series
of s*x
from the bathroom to anywhere i can think
of in
the sitting room…Mary never got tired and i
never
witness a lady that love s*x that much
before…she
knows how to do it very well..even the way
she
gives BJ will make any guy come within two
minutes..it was a thorough enjoyment. I
woke up
around 5am and she was still asleep…..i
started
preparing for work with the hope that i will
take her
along but with the time i was leaving i was
so sure
she wouldn’t be ready to leave yet so i had
to drop
5k beside the bed for her transport..i woke
her up
to tell her that i will be on my way to office,
showed her where the extra key was and
asked
her to drop it back whenever she was ready
to
go….off i went to the office.
Everything went well in the office even
though i felt
so tired at work…….i was expecting mary to
call me
but she didn’t likewise i too. I closed a bit
late at
work as i had work piled up for me..i got
home
around 9pm and by the time i got to the
entrance
of my flat, i realized my light was on with
the sign
that someone was at home…i opened the
door with
my key and all the sitting room was filled
up with
aroma…..the aroma coming out made me
more
hungry as i wanted to taste wat was
smelling
badly…i wouldn’t care even if it was my
enemy that
cook the food. I walked straight up to the
kitchen
and it was a big surprise that Mary was
the one
doing the cooking in the kitchen…..she turn
to me
and come around to hug me
Mary: Wecome back baby boy…how was
work
today
Me: I bless God…and hw are you too
Mary: Am fine dear
“kisses me and i responded”
Me: What happened? Thought you would
have left?
Mary: Dont mind me jare…decided to stay
with you
till tomorrow morning or later in the
evening cos i
know ur wifey will be coming around on
Friday for
weekend
Me: uhmmmm…ohk oooo but where will u
tell them
at home that you went to?
Mary: At least am not a kid or am i?
Me: Am sorry……just curious ni….ma binu
dear
Mary: Its ohk…moreover i already call them
from
home that i wont be coming back until
weekend
For my mind “see free bleeping till Friday
evening”…

To Be Continued…



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Georgina: hey you witch (she pull Tina back)what are you doing here?have i not warned you to stay away from Desmond?
Tina: what are you so angry about?
Georgina: you and your sorry face(they both fight)
Alfred: what is wrong with you two to again?
Tina: your friends and tell this mad girl to get off my back(referring to Georgina)
Georgina: am mad?why won't i be?when i just find out that the one;i was hoping to spend the rest of my life with,is in love with someone else(she cried)
Ayo: is alright

Tina: why pour all your anger on me?you are not the only frustrated one here(they both continue)

Alfred: will you two stop?hurry up,call Tunde and Desmond
Tosin: here he is
Tunde: was going on?Tina;how are you?
Tina: am not fine
Ayo: where is Desmond?
Tunde: Stephanie;called him. is like she is in trouble
Georgina: you see why i hate you?
Tina: you are mad at me,when Stephanie is your main enemy. she is also my enemy because up till now Tunde is still interested in her
Tunde: what do you mean by that?
Tina: you are still in love with Stephanie
Georgina: you too?what a worthless family?two brothers are in love with one girl?you all are irritating. excuse me and i will wait for Desmond

Alfred: i don't understand anything and where is Desmond?
Tunde: it seems Stephanie is in trouble
Tina: Stephanie again?i know am not going to push this,is over Tunde,i just want to pitch my tent somewhere else
Tina: Tina wait;you don't have to end what we have
Tina: what we have?we have nothing in common. we were two parallel that can never meet;even if we force it,nothing will change. i want to set you free because i care about you

Tunde: what a stupid boy i am?(he hit the wall)i want to take all the pains i have cause everyone;Tina;Stephanie and Desmond my brother. those three are the best thing that ever happen to me but i always ended up hurting them
Ayo: for all the pains you have gone through in life,you need a break
Alfred: yes;you really need a break;i think you should go home
Tunde: yes;i will go to my parent for some time
Alfred: that will be better
Tunde: excuse me

Desmond: Stephie
Stephanie: Desmond;those men at that car are after me
Desmond: what men?
Kidnapper 1: get into the car
Stephanie: let me go
kidnapper 1: i said get into the car
Desmond: let go of her
kidnapper 3: and who are you?i don't really care because you are not our
business(he struggle with them)
kidnapper 2:if this man will not get off our way. what do we do?
Kidnapper 3: then pull the trigger
Girl: don't;we are not Suppose to shoot anyone especially if we meet her with boy
Kidnapper 2: what do we do now?
Girl: pull both in
Kidnapper 2: what?
Kidnapper 1: alright(they push both inside the car and drove off)
Tessy: young woman;you have a lot to drink

Georgina: why won't i?when all i wish for;was to make him see me as one worthy of him
Uche: but is not your fault
Georgina: why would you say that?is really not my fault,it is all Stephanie fault. the fault of that witch
Tessy: you have to get out of this mess
Georgina: how can i get out when Desmond is not picking up his calls(she drunk more)
Tessy: will you stop(she fall to the ground)
Uche: ever since i know her;she as never given me a reason to see her as;someone weak
Tessy: when it comes to loves everyone is weak;even the braves ones
Uche: i just hope she can pull through it

Alfred: where is that boy?
Tosin: it is already pasted ten,where could that boy be?
Tunde: and to crown it all;his number as been ringing and he is not picking and Stephanie is not picking as well
Alfred: do you think something is wrong with those two?
Tosin: maybe;he just needed time to think through but if he need time to think,what about Stephanie?
Tunde: lets just go to bed

Rose: honey;lets celebrate
Jackson: what are we celebrating and why is there so much food and drinks?
Rose: have you forgotten that today is our marriage anniversary?twenty three long years of our togetherness
Jackson: i remember but why do you have to celebrate it
Rose: we;not just me
Jackson: fine;why do we have to celebrate it?
Rose: is because for years;we have gone through many things;disagreement;agreement; peace;war;happiness;sorrow;laughter and even tears but we are still together. so it is something to celebrate
Jackson: it is really worth celebrating. at first i thought our marriage was a joke
Rose: why would you say that?
Jackson: is because i never wanted to end up with you but things turn out the other way
Rose: so does it mean that you are regretting it?

Jackson: if i am regretting it,then i am indirectly regretting my kids and the love you had shown me. come on;let's toast to our marriage life and more better times and you are the one i want yo grow old with
Rose: yes;to us forever
Jackson: and to our undying love

Chioma: hello
Anita: hi!was going on?
Chioma: am fine;is Stephanie with you?
Anita: what do you mean?
Chioma: i haven't seen her since last night
Anita: she is not Here and have you tried calling her?
Chioma: her phone is not going through
Anita: really?did she have any problem?
Chioma: no;except that someone was threatening her to stay away form Desmond
Anita: what?and she didn't tell me?
Chioma: she didn't want to pull you all into her mess
Anita: alright;i will try to reach her
Chioma: fine;bye


Ann: was going on?
Anita: Stephanie is missing
Tosan: what do you mean by Stephanie is missing?
Tina: what are you all doing here?
Tosin: how are you all?
Ann: we are fine
Tunde: do you know where Stephanie live?
Tina: why don't you call her to tell you her address?poor boy
Tosan: are you crazy?
Tina: am not
Tosin: we are not here for that
Tosan: what are you all doing here?
Alfred: Desmond is missing and we were hoping that he is with her
Anita: why would you think of that?
Tunde: is because she was the last person he talked to on the phone and he told me;he was going to meet her
Ayo: and ever since then;we haven't see him and his phone is not going through anymore
Tina: why are you bothering yourselves?when those two as decided to eloped. stupid people
Anita: will you keep quiet?
Tina: fine;i will. poor Tunde your love have to elope with your own brither

Alfred: what do we do now that;it is obvious that both of them are missing
Anita: then we should informed their parents
Tosin: i don't think it has gotten to that extent. lets wait till tomorrow
Ann: alright then;just keep in touch with us,if anything comes up
Tunde: don't worry;we will
Ayo: i just hope nothing happen to them
Tosan: i know nothing will happen to them
Tosin: we will go ahead


read more....


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Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Maine, I was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit.Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother’s delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way.A short time later, I was stopped by another trooper.“What have I done?” I asked.“Nothing,” the trooper said, smiling. “I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies.”Related

I was eager to to London when I wz 18 yrs old bt my mum never want me to travel yet bt av made up my mind to go....I packed all my clothes n shoes n left early morning around 6am on my way to d airport I met two man trying to scared me bt I did not mind them fortunately I reach d airport n wait for my plane,around 10am we took off and reach London around 5pm when we land d place was new to me and I wz so surprise by d diff pplz am seeing wt beautiful houses I wz so xcited n happy,after to minute sm srz cold started catching me and I feel like going to toilet bt I saw I sign board n a local aouse written TOiLET...tinking d aouse wz toilet nt knowing d signboard wz nt toilet bt TO LET the I am seeing wz a lizard standing ryt in d middle of the signboard...to b continue n see wat happen to me in London


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-17 16:46:35

512 Views



Big boy things [Read it]


I saw a girl I love so much and I was claiming big guy but one day the
girl went to fetch water at the well so no one to help her to carry the
water but unfortunatly I was passing by and she has no option than to
call me for help, as I went there with my big guy level,I asked her what
can I do for u and her reply is that I should help her so I tryed with
all my big guy tin, I was totaly messed up with wht I think is part of
me by lifting the can with all my strienght but I messed and it is loud
but shamed catched me ane the beb was laughing at me


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-09 21:53:11

235 Views




MY SWEET AND LOVELY HOUSE BOY (Episode 2)

I woke up yawning and stretching, my body, I opened my eyes, I did my prayers, took unto my slippers and went to the bathroom, took my toothbrush and Tunde had already made breakfast I went to the dinning and eat in the same table with Tunde, he was sitting directly opposite me , I was still strained by the heart break my boyfriend had caused the previous day I didn't even answer him when he said good morning, I felt fatigue and a huge loss of appetite that made me eat little. But Tunde was eating like a hungry lion.
Tunde: you enjoy the food right?ref_component

Me: No!

Tunde: its really nice, I think you're not feeling too well, the chicken is really great.

Me: Na you sabi ***remembering the incident last night that someone had covered me with a blanket***
Me: Who covered me a blanket last night?
Tunde: I did. I saw you felt cold and folded your body so tight, so I thought I might help by covering you the blanket.
Me: hmmm
***I felt cared for, when he said that, but isn't he crossing his boundary?***
Me: don't try that next time, okay? You know my father will not take it lightly if he were to find out you really did that. Let it not repeat itself, is that clear?
Tunde: Crystal clear sir, I mean madam
Me: ahaha, you're a real funny boy, but you need to understand that I don't like being played with okay?
Tunde: Okay.
***i stood up and took the toothpicks, as I got chicken meat hooked all over my teeth***
I was a bit bored that day, my father had called earlier and asked how I was faring, after so much phone conversation he decided to hang up. I was bored and went to Tunde's room to call him and ask if he could play chess which I'm sure he can, I walked down the stairs after failed attempts of him being available, I walked through and I entered his room without knocking, surprisingly i saw him Naked!!! I quickly shut the door... And stood outside his door
Me: oh, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry about this okay
Tunde: there's nothing to worry about, its my fault really, I left the door opened
***He quickly wore his boxer and opened the door***
Me: okay, i just came to find out if you can play chess with me?
Tunde: why not... ***he dressed up quickly***
We went to the parlour, played chess and laughed with, I thought to myself, "I think I'm falling in love with this guy", he played better than me, as he played he kept on staring at me till I don't know how I kissed him....

WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 3


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Ananse visited his friend kofi .
Kofi called his wife and asked her to serve them drinks.


when the wife was done with the serving, she sat down right opposite Ananse with her legs open. Ananse could not control himself so he enjoyed the view. when kofi went inside the house, kofi’s wife said to Ananse,”do you like what you see”?


Ananse said YES. Kofi’s wife said ,”you can have it, but it will only cost you ghc 5,000, and Ananse agreed so they fixed a time, 12pm the next day when the husband kofi, will be at work. So the next day, Ananse came over at the exact time and they enjoyed themselves then he paid her.
When kofi came back, this was what transpired between them:


kofi: Honey was Ananse here to day?


Wife: [AFRAID] yes


kofi: At 12pm right ?


Wife: [AFRAID ] yes


kofi: OHH, Ananse my good friend, always keeping time …


Wife: Honey, why do you ask?


Kofi: He came over to my office this morning and borrowed ghc 5,000 from me promising to bring it back to you at the house by 12pm, so did he bring it ?
* describe Ananse


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-27 11:13:49

807 Views



The law student [Read it]


A student failed in law and decided to make a deal with professor.


Sir, do you know everything about law?


Professor: Yes.


Student: If you can answer this question, I will accept my final marks, if you can't, you have to give me "A".


The Professor agreed.


Boy asked, "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?"


The Professor thought about it for hours & pondered but no answer. He finally had to give up as he really did not know and he gave the boy an "A".


The following day, professor asked same question to his students.


He was shocked when all of them raised their hands. He asked one student.


The student answered "Sir, you are 65, married to 28 years old woman, this is legal but not logical. Your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal. Your wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam and yet you have given him an "A", this is neither logical nor legal."


The professor collapsed...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-08 06:18:14

349 Views




Amanda pounced on me immediately papa left.. she has seen him off to the car rubbing his back as he walked to his car, turning at interval to talk something else while i can see her gesturing him to keep going.

I watched from my room as dad reluctantly entered his black coloured mean infiniti jeep and drove off but not after collecting some kisses from his wife.

I watched amanda walk back to the house as papa’s car slowly taxied out of the compound and ahmed throwing a staggering salute at him.
**as governor or what… duurrr…lol**

I walked down stairs just as Amanda walked through the front door into the sitting room beaming with smiles.

She jumped on me squarely with both of her legs wrapping round my back and hands clasped tight around my neck.
On a normal circumstance i would have fallen backwards and flat on my back but this time even Samson or Hercules could not compare the strength.

I held her and maintained my stand with two of my hands crossing behind her back grabbing both of her a-s cheeks with my palm holding the firm round butts and keeping her up on me.

Her lips dug into mine immediately pushing deep into my lips as her tongue intruded into every corner of my mouth with both of her eyes shut tight.. The rush of blood that responded to the stimulus my brain was bombarded with as my D--k sprang to life being pumped with hot blood.

Our lips remained locked with my hands still squeezing those a-s tight and fingers straying a bit into the promise land, smooching and provoking her p---y through the flimsy material she wore

I slowly walked to the biggest couch in the sitting room slumping down on it, she now sat astride me with both of her legs resting on each side of the coach and my back leaning relaxingly on the couch still absorbing the shock the touch of her lips induced on my body as she kissed away with lustful abandon.

my palms grabbed her a-s once again, squeezing them tight and lifting the flimsy gown she wore as i rubbed her a-s which were now in a pant that barely spread to 30% of her a-s area.

my hands strayed from her a-s upwards to the front taking hold her boobs still clad inside the gown but definitely no bra stood between me and total bliss.

could feel her waist moving to and front crushing her crotch against my dickson which now formed a tent inside the large basketball short i was wearing.

my hands slowly slipped the flimsy sleeves of the dress off her shoulder with those out of the world boobs peering at me with a broad ‘hello’ look knocking my brains over to the back as they stood on her chest like mountains of avalon with the slightly dark auroras gracing it.

Her lips slipped down to the trunk of my neck filling it with little kisses as her hand yanked on my shirt pulling it up roughly in a bid to off it.
I raised my hands up for her and my shirt was lost within a second seeing her throw it as far away as she could.

Her lips attacked my chest taking my small perky n-----s in her mouth twirling round it and sucking on it with my hands rubbing her p---y through her panties.

Her hands slowly strayed and journeyed down to my short rubbing dickson through my shorts making me gnash my teeth with my eyes shut air tight.

Her hands pulled down my short with me rising a bit to ease the transition of my boxer from my waist down to my knees as dickson sprang out like a liberated prisoner.

Her eyes popped a bit, watched her slowly move to the side of the couch, her soft silky cold hands wrapped around my s---t casting a peering look at it.

I watched as her mouth slightly opened and descended down on my s---t, taking it deep into her mouth as far as it could go.
The whole bones in my body cracked and stretched with my mouth open but a weird sack covered my vocal cord.

my hands journeyed back to her a-s grabbing them hastily, i rubbed her slit again with my fingers, shifting her panties to the side and my finger disappeared into her slit.
Could hear muffled moans from her as she worked her lips up and down my s---t, while my finger went in and out of her with her juices covering my hands.

The muffled moans she gave out, with the sight of her soft mouth around my s---t, her a-s shot out in the air as my hands dug in and out with slight slurping sounds escaping from the p---y and the warm feel of that mouth working me like a lollipop all sent my toes curling in an intense manner, heartbeat increased by 2beat per second and blood pressure rising more than normal.

She rises releasing junior sky from the torture she subjected it to.
Junior sky was nodding as she slipped out of her panties.. it was a pink lacy pantie with white ribbon at the front.

She sat astride me now with my s---t positioned just at the entrance of her p---y waiting for her to descend on it, my whole body vibrated at the anticipation of what was following the next second.

“Was that a knock?” She blurted out immediately looking back at the door.
“No how can… its not a knock” i moaned resuming my kiss on her neck and my hands working her boobs.

Kom! kom!! kom!!! the door roared at it sounded like banging this time.

“Oh s--t . . . that’s definitely a knock” I retorted.
Amanda’s head was turned towards the door as she stared at it, i could see a lot of anger on her face and am sure she would definitely have shot the person at the door if she had a gun.

“Who is that?” I barked betraying the anger i entertained within me cus of the rude interruption.

“Shut up you idiot, it is me JESSY”


>>

Paul wanted to fulfil
righteousness and be holy to God, his girlfriend he loved so
much was out there feeling lonely and bored. Paul was
confused on how to balance his spiritual life with his emotional life. He wish he could make
eunice happy but he doesn’t know how to go about it. He was
already back to his spiritual stand with God. He wish he could make eunice spiritually fit like himself but it was always impossible. He
couldn’t leave eunice because he loved him so much and the love
was hindering him from thinking straight. He keeps hearing this two contradicting voices about Eunice. One voice will tell him to
quit, another voice will tell him to hold on to eunice. He couldn’t tell which of them is of God and of
Demons.
After struggling with thoughts, paul decided to consult a
spiritual leader for a divine insight on his situation. He knelt
down and he was prayed for.
After 18mins of prayer, the spiritual leader told paul that he wasn’t compatible with eunice, they are two opposite character and it wasn’t God’s chosen. Paul tried to let the pastor realise how he often dreamt about her and how a voice always spoke to him about eunice, but the pastor repeated it again that eunice was
a wrong choice, the only solution is to quit. Paul was shocked.
“How do I go about quitting with the girl I loved with all my heart?,
I need to go on to God personally for confirmation” paul thought.
The following week, eunice’s attention was shifting gradually
from paul. Even at school, she wasn’t fond of staying around paul again like before, she was
always seen chating on her phone and laughing out alone at
intervals. Paul wasn’t getting comfortable with this latest
development, he decided to go on a 3 days fast and prayer to get a confirmation about eunice.
3days into the fast, he had a dream and saw himself sitting infront of a house containing
maidens. He came there to pick a wife, Eunice was in rags coming out of the room looking dirty and smelling. Then someone called her back and told her ” see that guy out there (pointing at paul),
he wants a clean woman as wife.
Take this clean cloth and perfume to cover yourself so that he would pick you.” Eunice immediately sprayed the perfume
and wore the clean with cloth, she washed her face and she appeared good looking. On getting outside, paul was carried away by the outward look without taking a look at the
inward appearance and he immediately picked eunice and
left for the aisle. Along The road
to the aisle, wind was blowing and eunice’s good looking dress
was about to be blown open by the wind, then eunice told paul.
“Dear, I don’t want you to see me until we get to the aisle. Let me tie this little cloth on your eyes
and I will hold your hands to lead you till we get to the aisle”. Paul agreed and his face was covered.
Eunice held paul’s hand as the walk along, on their road. They met another dirty young man
eunice immediately held the man with her left hand and the 3
were walking along while paul was blindfolded to notice the latest development and also, he couldn’t see people waiving at him to stop and see his new
company. Paul woke up immediately and started sweating. He picked his bible and
began to pray. This time, he held a voice clearly with any
hindrance saying “paul, paul, paul!!!, she is not your
woman!!!!”.
Paul took the boldness and courage to open up to eunice
and broke up with her, telling her it was an instruction from
God. The both cried for days. Few days later, eunice finally cheered up and sticked to valentino. NYSC ended, paul travelled to lagos to
stay with one of his friends who promised to help him with a job.
At lagos, another problem happened to paul…….#B-goF
TBC

>>

Pharmacophobia is the fear of medications.Related

Akpos and Sonia [Read it]


sonia:hey
Akpos:who is hey don't cal me dat name again i hate it.
Sonia:im sorry,how are you.
Akpos:fine and you
Sonia:im fine.please would you send me 15k
Akpos;ah for what
Sonia:5k for my cloth 7k for my hair and 3k for my shoes.
Akpos:alright.(in text message).K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K. Are you okay.even take 2k.K K for your perfume


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-01 18:43:22

398 Views




Sophia got out of the shower
dripping wet, with a towel tied
around her br3asts. She had
another towel on her head as
she walked into her huge
bedroom and sat on a stool,
facing a large mirror. There were
different kinds of tubes, creams
and plastics around the table on
which the mirror stood. She
picked a small plastic tube and
pressed the content into her
palm. She rubbed it gently on her
face, concentrating more on her
cheeks. She stood up and
loosened the towel around her
br3asts. She admired herself in
the mirror, smiling as she
caressed her flat stomach and
cupped her firm and DD br3asts.
She left the mirror and walked
towards a door, opening it.
Different dresses and shoes
stared her in the face. Thw walk-
in closet had different sections.
Shoes, jewelry, gowns, Shirts, and
suits. At another part of the
closet were stacks of folded
jeans. She picked one pair of
jeans and chose a long necked
top.
As she got out of the closet, her
phone beeped twice. There was
a message from Tawo. The
General had told her that she
would be the next to move and
that she should not check the
contents of the file under her
pillow until she had heard from
Tawo. She clicked the message. A
box popped up asking for a
password to decode it. She
smiled. Typical Tawo. He liked too
much ‘effizy’. She typed her
secret code and the message
opened.
“I’m done. Your turn to move.”
She sighed and exited the
message. Her phone suddenly
went blank then came on with a
new message.
“Self-destruct sequence
complete. Press ok to begin
factory reset.”
She did not panic. She had
expected that. She went under
her pillow and got out the file. It
seemed very light. She put her
hand inside it and got out a very
tiny piece of paper. Neatly typed
on it were the words:
“Initiate Operation Eva”
She did not know what that
meant. She was confused. What
was Operation Eva? She already
had Eva in her custody. So what
was this about? Her phone rang.
It was the General. She picked.
“Evening General.” Sophia
greeted.
“I can see the perplexed look on
your face. I’m sure you have
heard from the Chameleon.
Haven’t you?” the General asked.
Sophia looked round. How in the
world was he able to see her?
She scanned the walls and
corners of the house. She did not
notice anything unusual.
“I got his message. But I do not
think I have any information on
the file I got sir.” Sophia replied.
“You don’t need to scan the walls
for any device. You are wearing a
jean and a round necked top. I
am the General. You are my
Lieutenants. I keep watch over
you. It is for your safety, and for
the safety of the corporation.
Someone will deliver a file to you
in a few minutes. It is all
paperwork. Take your time to
study every detail. Your move is
next. Do not disappoint me
Sophia Dirisu. Any questions?”
Sophia was surprised. The
General never called her by her
full name before. This must mean
a lot to him.
“Could I get the file electronically
sir? It would make it very easy
and convenient to work with.”
Sophia requested.
“I do not completely trust anyone
in this Corporation. No one. Not
even you. But there are some
levels of trust I can vest in certain
people. This is a very sensitive
case. I am not convinced we have
flushed out all the spies that have
infiltrated us. Electronic
messages can be traced. I cannot
risk that. The package being
delivered to you has been sent to
six different addresses before
getting to your house. There’s a
finger print and pupil scanner
attached to the package which
gives ONLY YOU the clearance to
access it. Any other form of
intrusion will trigger the
automatic self-destruct option.
These are hard times my dear.
Let’s work with it. Good night”
Sophia heard her door bell ring.
Always on time. She opened the
door, signed the delivery form
and got the package from the
dispatch rider.
She went to the backyard and
opened the door to a thatched
hut. She usually came in here
when she needed to think. She
was sure no wires were run
here.
She opened the package.
I woke up startled. I did not
know how long I had been out. I
surveyed my environment. I was
in a very large room. It was
spacious and beautifully
decorated. I wondered how I got
there. I got up from the bed and
my feet fell into very comfortable
loafers. I walked to the door and
opened it. There was a small
passage in front of me after
which was a spiral stairwell. I
looked down at the sitting room.
Luxurious chairs of exquisite
taste. There was a huge plasma
television on the wall. The walls
were decorated by beautiful
paintings and work of art. A
transparent chandelier hung
from the ceiling. I walked down
the steps slowly taking in the
sights. My stomach rumbled. I
was very hungry. I took the
remote control and put on the
television. A documentary
channel was showing.
Just then the door opened and
Sophia entered. She smiled at me.
I was in shock. I remembered
that she was the last person I
was with before I found myself
here.
“Sean, we need to have a small
talk.” She said.
I knew there was no point
arguing with her or making any
form of trouble.
I sat down and listened to
everything she had to say.
Bruno drove into a heavily
guarded compound. He wound
down the window at the gate
and showed his ID to the military
officer. They nodded to each
other, the barricade was cleared
and he was allowed entry into
the Fortress. He took the elevator
to the third floor. He got out and
took the corridor to his right.
There were doors left and right.
He got to room 125 and
surveyed the door. He brought
out a special UV torch and
scanned the door knob. He was
looking for finger prints. They
were none. He removed a card
from his wallet and slipped it into
a slot in the key hole. The light
changed from red to green and
the door clicked. He got a
handkerchief from his pocket
and turned the door knob. He
stepped inside.
All of a sudden, he felt he was
not alone. His instincts were
never wrong. He brought out his
pistol and became very alert. He
walked slowly to the center of
the room. He did not see the
movement on time. There was a
gunshot. He fell on the floor in a
loud thud. His head banged and
he felt himself drowsing away. A
tall figure stood in front of him.
He pointed a gun at Bruno and
removed his mask.
“Where is the girl?” the man
asked softly.
Bruno winced. He tried to get up
but the man put his feet on his
chest and corked his gun. He
wore a very angry smile.
“I am going to ask only one more
time. Where is Eva?”
Without warning, Bruno kicked
the other leg of his attacker
while bending to his right just in
time to avoid the bullet from him.
The man fell, hitting his head on
the only couch in the room and
his gun falling out of his hand to
the further side of the room. He
got up and ran towards Bruno,
trying to head butt him on the
stomach. He caught Bruno on the
rib with his forehead, sending
them both spiraling into the
center table. Bruno was on the
ground writhing in pain. The tall
attacker got up and headed for
the gun. He picked it and turned
to face Bruno.
Bruno was no longer on the
ground. He turned to look for
Bruno but he seemed to have
disappeared into thin air. He
moved towards the door. He was
alert, holding the gun by his face
and watching for any sign of
Bruno. He heard a sound from
the other side of the room. He
walked slowly to the place the
sound came from. He found
nothing. He heard a gun cork. He
turned. That was his last moment
alive. Bruno shot him from close
range, the bullet piercing his
forehead. He fell down. Dead.
Bruno pushed a shelf of books
away from the way and tapped
the wall twice. A secret,
transparent keypad materialized.
He pressed some numbers and
the stone wall opened inwards.
Eva was in a chair, drugged. She
was in deep sleep.
His orders were simple. Get her
to the mansion.
He got her on his shoulders and
left the fortress.

>>

I love beer [Read it]


A man sits on the balcony having drinks with his wife, and he says, “I love you!”
the wife asks, “Is that you or the beer talking?”
He replies, “It’s me… and am talking to the beer'


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-10 16:01:14

345 Views




Below is how Nigerian Churches will become in 2030:

PASTOR: Praise the Lord.

CONGREGATION: Halleluyah!

PASTOR: Can we please turn our iPads and Kindle Bibles to Exodus 20:1. When you're done, kindly switch on your Bluetooth to receive the sermon... Please have your debit cards ready as we shall now collect tithes and offering. You can connect to the church WIFI using password Lord99087 and as for the renovation donations, you're welcome to contribute via EFT or mobile banking. The holy atmosphere is truly electric as the iPads beep and flicker.

CHURCH SECRETARY: This week's meetings will be held on the various Whatsapp groups so please don't miss out! Wednesday Bible teachings will be held live on Skype @1900hrsGMT. By the way, you may follow the Pastor on Twitter for counseling and don't forget our weekly prayers on YouTube. God bless You All.

CONGREGATION: Amen!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-14 19:51:11

317 Views



WHITES ONLY [Read it]


Akpos was the only black man on a cruise ship that was about to sink. He was the toilet cleaner on the ship.
The white people looked among themselves for someone to pray but no one wanted to as everyone was scared..
With tears in his eyes the ship captain suddenly spotted Akpos, he pointed his finger at him and shouted; ? You! Pray for us!?
Afraid he would be punished for not listening Akpos agreed and started his prayer with confidence;
?Lord, as I was boarding this ship it said ?WHITES ONLY??. When I wanted to use the bathroom, the sign said ?WHITES ONLY??..when I went to the tables for food it said ?WHITES ONLY??? So Lord as this ship is about to sink, I pray that you take ?WHITES ONLY? ?AMEN?.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-14 13:05:33

200 Views



Akpos D 9ja quy [Read it]


A class teacher in naija dey instructs his students 2 each stand up and make a short poem about thier name and what they’d like 2 do infuture.
The first to start is Usman, ha said..
USMAN; my name is usman
I will grow up and be a man
I will like to go to japan
if I can, if I can
The 2nd student is a girl named Candy, she said..
CANDY; my name is candy
I will grow up and be a lady
and i will like 2 have a baby
if i can, if i can
and finally there is Akpos, the original naija guyg, he said..
Akpos; my name is Akpos
I will grow up 2 be a man
to hell with japan
am going to help candy with her plan
i know i can , i know i can…


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-03 14:39:51

576 Views




EPISODE 8

‘Really, Richard, you really have to bring
her to the
house?’ Cynthia did not wait for Richard to
close
the door.
‘Where could I have taken her?’
‘Like seriously you couldn’t have found a
cheap
hotel around and keep her there?’
‘Oh. So what would that have solved?’
‘It would have saved me the ordeal of
setting eyes
on the village filth you slept with, Richard.’
She
shook her head in both disappointment and
disbelief.
‘Richard, how could you? How could you
have
brought yourself so low?’
‘So you think she is half human?’
She scowled at him.
‘When you are done, you can take a seat
and we
would find a way around this.’
‘That’s a very silly thing to say, you know
that!’
‘What?’
‘What you did is beyond disgusting,
Richard, and if
you couldn’t feel the tiniest bit of remorse
for it
then you need to have your head checked!’
She
scratched at her hair, long, shiny-dark and
very
natural-looking, rumpling it.
‘I have said I’m sorry a million times
already and if
you want me to keep saying it till the year
runs
out, I will, but right now we need to talk.’
‘I’m tired, Richard. I’m very tired.’
‘Alright, Cynthia, be tired!’ He threw his
hands
around in the air. ‘Fine! Continue being
tired!’
‘Are you shouting at me?’
‘No! Just go on and be tired. Like I was too
the day
you went debasing yourself at Chief’s party,
right?
Right?’
‘Oh.’ Cynthia tilted her head. ‘So this is
what it is, a
pay-back, huh?’
‘Call it whatever you deem, I’ve lost care.’
He
dropped on the chair facing the mirror and
buried
his face in his hands.
‘It is foolish to compare this atrocity you
committed to a long forgotten event. You
were well
aware of my intoxication that night. Or you
really
think I would have allowed Chief so much
as lay
his filthy finger on me if I wasn’t drunk?’
‘Oh well, you were the one that shopped
specially
for the occasion, sat by the mirror two long
hours
smothering yourself in make-up and drove
all the
way to Lekki to attend the silly party,
weren’t you?’
Cynthia’s lips parted to say something but
she
couldn’t. She swallowed hard and started
to cry.
Something lept off Nnanna’s eyes. He
looked at
her and turned away quickly.
He finally stood and walked to her. He took
her
hands. ‘Baby, this is a mistake. If you want
to
punish me, I’ll give myself up for whatever
punishment you deem fit but right now, we
need
to talk about a girl who is just as innocent
as you
in this situation.’
‘Thank God you are finally coming to terms
with
how selfish and silly you acted, Richard.’
She said
this now in a low, muffled voice. She wiped
at her
eyes.
She finally sat down on the bed and they
talked in
low tones.
Soon she seemed back in control and her
voice
dominated the conversation;
‘Of course she is having an abortion,
Richard.’
‘Once the test comes back positive, she is
going
into the theatre for a D&C.’
‘I will take her to Dr Hope on Saturday.’
‘That’s none of my business.’
Stella left the door when she could no
longer hear
them.
She entered the sitting room. She took her
Madam’s bag and jacket inside, came back,
picked
the remote and changed the channel to
Sound
City.
Mma turned to her. ‘Nne, but I watching
the film
na.’
‘Go to your room and sleep.’
‘You saying?’
‘Go inside and sleep.’
Mma pulled down her cheeks. ‘Ha. Stellar,
why
your blood hotting na?’
Stella ignored her and sat on the couch,
nodding to
Flavour’s Ada Ada song

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