Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

Three wishes [Read it]


Mr. Akpos and Mr. Ibu traveled to a far village but they don`t like each other.
One day, they come across a spirit who offers them three wishes each.
Mr. Ibu wishes that all male in the village should turn to female.
Mr. Akpos wishes for a helmet.
Mr. Ibu`s second wish is that all the male in the neighboring village were female as well.
Mr. Akpos wishes for a motorcycle.
Mr. Ibu`s final wish is that all the male in the world were female, leaving him the only male in the world.
Mr. Akpos starts the engine of his motorcycle and says, "I wish that Mr. Ibu was a gay!" and rides off.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-12 19:51:30

2228 Views




SYMPTOMS OF A BAD MOUTH ODOUR AKA HALITOSIS:



The following below are the ways to know if you have a mouth odour:



You always win an argument quickly.



You are explaining something to your friends and they are looking at another direction.



Anytime you yawn and a dog besides you begin to bark.



You want to kiss your girlfriend and she tells you, "I don't like kissing".



You want to whisper to your friend's ear and he/she starts begging you that he/she already knows what you wanted to say.



You try to sing for a little baby and he/she starts crying.



Your pastor is praying for everybody in the church, when it gets to your turn, he will instruct you not to say Amen.



WHEN YOU NOTICE ALL THESE, CONSULT A DENTIST ASAP!



yOU cAN aDD oTHERS wAYS iN tHE cOMMENT bOX bELOW


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-02 07:22:21

342 Views




Ele narrates

Just when I thought Aarti would be gone, Providence intervened! Thunder and lightning had struck and killed macho man when he attempted to slay Aarti.

Indeed the events of the past hours including Aarti’s miracle as shown that got really exist. The course I’m currently studying in school has done a lot to question the existence of God.

Scholars like Karl Marx had argued that “religion is the opiate of the masses”. The likes of Sigmund Freud had seen religion as a universal obsessive neurosis and as an illusion that as no future, but who could blame them, since they all had pathetic backgrounds, its normal their assertions are subjective.

Macho man’s death did not stop the rest men of the underworld from carrying out their job. They quickly got over the shock of macho man’s surprise death and attempted to finish of Aarti before Sir Guard came on board. For the third term this evening Sir Guard saved our asses in his now too familiar commando style fashion. I couldn’t believe the amount of luck I had this today. He slays the five men after several swift moves.

“Let’s go!”, Sir Guard ordered us as we made to go on to be met by the sounds of a bell.

“Uh oh! Trouble himself is here guys, you must run as fast as you can for your dear lives, this way kids”, said Sir Guard.

We ran past a small door, we came face to face with two guards as Sir Guard did his thing silencing them forever.

We came out of the lion’s den to where the five dead men had intercepted us only to be met by about a dozen men with guns as we had that face of “oh! Mr. Death is here again”.

“My children run for your life! Run as far as your leg can carry you”, Sir Guard whispered in a hopeless voice handing over a small piece of paper to me.

As we run we looked back and saw Sir Guard shooting sporadically at dozens of men who were increasing by numbers, about four managed to zoom past Sir Guard as they were hot on our heels.
We ran into the nearby bush and kept on running to nowhere in particular. We hadn’t eaten since morning and were running out of strength.

Queency looked so weak running who had been looking exhausted all along fell down after her left leg hit a wood and was bleeding seriously. Aarti and I had to drag her to a nearby branch. Queency was whimpering and couldn’t help it because of the intense pains. I tore my shirt, gave it to Aarti who took part of it and tied it around Queency’s mouth to prevent her from drawing attention to us in case the men of the underworld were close by.

The men would be here anytime soon, though it was dark and might be hard for them to locate us, I still have to do something fast. I had to do something fast and now. I remembered those Korean historical movies I used to watch with my dad. This was time to try out some things. After aIl, vision without execution is an illusion. While Aarti took care of Queency, I went to look for some bamboo sticks. I got them and sharpened them with an old cutlass I saw in the bush. I created traps everywhere.

I got back about an hour later where I met Queency sleeping why Aarti gave me the look of “where have you been dude?” It was still the early hours of the morning; I went to her and gave her some palm kernel and water I saw in a nearby stream. I explained where I had been and my plans for our chasers. She sounded satisfied but less convince of our chance of making it.

“Ele, if you make it out of this hell hole, what’s the first thing you’re going to do?” Aarti asked.

“Sleep for a week!”, I replied sarcastically or so I thought.

“What?, sleep for a week? And not thank God?”, Aarti exclaimed in an astonished look not sounding like someone who was on the verge of death a few hours ago.

“Haba! Na fight?”, I said putting on a sly smile while trying to avoid her face but got no reply from her.

“Aarti, I didn’t mean what I said na, I’m so so so so so sorry”, I tried pleading but Aarti acted like someone who has suddenly gone deaf and dumb. I moved closed to Aarti and tried holding her hands.

“Leave me joor”, She barked pushing my hands away.

“Shhhhh, don’t wake my baby girl up”, I cautioned her pointing to Queency who was sleeping as I attempted to touch her again. This time Aarti didn’t resist though she pretended as if she didn’t like it but she didn’t stop me. Aarti started crying while I hugged her to console her knowing all what she went through.

Aarti’s body was so soft, warm and romantic. Aarti kissed me and immediately my brain formatted. I forgot my name, my situation, all I saw was my beloved Aarti.

She kissed me Frenchly, I kissed her back Germanly. We were in another planet entirely, planet Mercury to be precise. We looked hungrily at each other and couldn’t help but want each other the more.

“Ele! I can’t breadth!’, Aarti squirmed.

“Aarti! Same here!”, I replied while still kissing.

“Ele! I have always loved you! I just couldn’t admit it”, Aarti confessed biting my lips.

“Aarti! I have always wanted you, I just didn’t have the courage to ask”, I admitted biting back.

“Ele, what do you want? I‘ll do anything for you”, Aarti asked in a soft voice.

Without waiting for my reply, she dragged my trousers down pushed me down and got on top of me. I explored every nook and cranny of her essence as a woman. It was seventh heaven because I have never known this kind of bliss before. I was hitting the right places, she was moaning at the right moments as we sailed into an unknown world of Disneyland which I prayed never to leave.

Lia narrates

I was woken up by a strange sound. I forcibly opened my eyes to see two people doing strange things. I couldn’t believe what I saw. Am I dreaming?


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Funny pictures [Read it]


Funny pictures from my phone








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-08 12:55:54

229 Views




They(Teachers) inspire you, they entertain you, and you end up learning a ton even when you don’t know it.

-Nicholas SparksRelated

A GIRL'S FACEBOOK/BBM STATUS UPDATES:-
"Wow I just found the love of my
life...Nothing
will ever stop me from loving my man."
.
,, ,,
.
,14 DAYS LATER:-
"Never make sum1 a priority when u're just
an option to
them..!"
.
,, ,,
.
2 DAYS LATER:-
"I HATE love so much!"
.
,, ,,
.
3 DAYS LATER.
"I'm happy to remain single and I will never
fall in love
again."
.
,, ,,
.
5 DAYS LATER:-
"I'm looking for a man to love and treat me
right."
.
,, ,,
.
15 DAYS LATER:-
"When u deeply fall in love with a right
person, u realise
why it didn't work with anybody else but
him.
I love my guy so much....mmmuaaa h. "
.
,, ,,
.
8 DAYS LATER:-
"smh..!! All men are the same!!!!!

Is this true?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-01 18:14:45

340 Views



Class work [Read it]


A teacher said to her class, "Right, i'm going to hold something under the desk and i want you to guess it. This one is round and red." Akpos hand shot up immediately, but he was ignored."It's an orange," said a girl. "no it's an apple, but i like your thinking said the teacher. The next one is oval shaped and green." The teacher ignored Akpos again and a boy said, "It's a kiwi miss." No, it's a guana, but i like your thinking." Akpos said, " I got one miss, its stiff, about an inch long and with a red nib." "Akpos, thats disgusting!" shouted the teacher. " no it's a stick of matches, but i like your thinking." Said Akpos.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-25 06:59:53

818 Views




Fools laugh at others. Wisdom laughs at itself.

~ OshoRelated

Coward thief [Read it]


A man was travelling with a bus full of passengers, they reached at a place and he realised that his wallet has been stolen he shouted '' driver stop the bus if i don't find my wallet what happened 20 years ago is going to repeat itself right here right now '' the wasn't bold enough so he handed him back his wallet so they continued their journey, a curious lady in the bus '' please sir what happened 20 years ago? The man replied ' 20 years ago someone stole my wallet and i have to walk 5 miles home.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-15 12:39:43

519 Views



akpos [Read it]


Akpos who was a houseboy usually sneaks into
his boss room, drinks his wine and adds water to
top it up. One day his Oga bought a new wine
called pasties, it was a french wine that changes
colour if water is added onto it. Akpos unaware of
this, sneaks into his Oga's room, drank the new
wine and added water on it. Immediately it
started changing colour.
Akpos: I am in trouble, big trouble. He ran to the
kitchen. Meanwhile, Oga and madam were sitted
in the parlour, while Akpos was in the kitchen.
OGA: Akpos
Akpos: Oga
OGA: who drank my pasties?
No answer!
OGA: Akpos, who drank my pasties?.
No answer. Oga walked to the kitchen and saw
Akpos there.
OGA: Are you insane or what?. Why when i call,
you say "Oga" but when i ask you a question you
don't answer me.
Akpos: Oga when you are in the kitchen you don't
understand anything, except your name.
OGA: Is that so?. Okay go to the parlour, stand
beside madam and ask me a question while i
stand here.
Akpos went and did what oga said.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa
OGA: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who goes into the maid's bedroom when
madam is not at home?.
No answer.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa!!! You dey hear me, I say who
dey sneak enter the house girl room when madam
no dey house.
No answer. Oga runs out of the kitchen.
OGA: Wonders shall never end. Akpos, it is true o,
when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear
anything, except one's name.
MADAM: That's not true. It's a lie.
Akpos: Madam, do you want to be tested?
MADAM: Yes
Akpos: Oya enter the kitchen
She enters.
Akpos: Madam
MADAM: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who is Junior's biological Father? Me or
Oga
Madam rushed out of the kitchen
MADAM: This kitchen needs to be fumigated o, I
can't understand anything at all.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-03 08:48:11

724 Views



My diary [Read it]


DK’s Diary Episode 01
Dikeledi Mohale that’s me but yall can call me
DK, I’m from Riverside Estates Tzaneen Limpopo
but enough about all that let me draw your
attention to my diary. A lot of you are going to
relate since a lot of you guys might have been
through the same situation.
I’m pretty, I’m smart I got money, what more
could I ask for? but you know what they say God
can’t give you everything, so it was November
2014 just done with Matric examinations its all
pens down kinda ish ko Shidila, its fun we
celebrating with mates and I also got accepted
at the university of Johannesburg so at this
point life its just more than great for me.
Wish I could say the same even now but now I
got into situations where I suck dicks for money
and it all comes down to the name but let me
not spoil the story for you, so back to 2014. It
was around this time ka December and the
festive season felt longer than usual because I
just couldn’t wait to leave this place and get the
freedom that I always wanted, you know when
you stay in the suburbs you always indoors and
you hardly even make friends, so December
slowly went on and on and suddenly it was
January,
I remember I left with my dad via public
transport because he was scared to drive in
Johannesburg because of all the crazy things he
always heard about Johannesburg. actually my
dad wanted me to go to the university of
Limpopo but my heart was always in Gauteng
“maboneng” so he didn’t have any choice but to
follow my wishes. He always made sure that I
always got what I wanted.
When we got to Johannesburg I was so damn
exited and I couldn’t believe my eyes coz of the
tall building and stuff, I knew almost all the
beautiful places in Limpopo but not jozi. it was
actually my first day in jozi.wooow the
surrounding townships were very beautiful. we
arrive at around 3 in the afternoon and the taxi
rank was so dirty and crowded as fuck but then
oh! the oxygen I inhaled felt different I could tell
that I was far from home, I could tell that I was
at the middle of jozi’ stomach talking about the
one and only city of Gold, we didn’t know the
place we were going to, we only had the
address, house 36 1st street Melville, remember
we didn’t even know where to get taxis to the
place and how much they costed, fortunately we
took a cab, you see this meter taxis yeah we
took that and we drove around exiting park
station to Rissik street to Braamfontein and
that’s when I saw Mandela bridge for the first
time in real life, so we drove past the university
of the Witwatersrand and the next thing I saw
the university of Johannesburg then the SABC
just right next to my school, even thought for a
second that I’m gonna be on TV one day lol just
those crazy moments.
On our way to campus this guy decided to stop
just next to the SABC, on our way the cab driver
stated to pretend as though he was lost and
wanted to charge us more.my dad called the
landlord and she gave us the directions from
there and we arrived finally.It was already too
late so my father left the following day and
guess what! I did the very moment he got into
the taxi, as it drove off I danced to the freedom
and then I took a shower and then took a walk to
familiarize myself with the streets,daaamn! I just
couldn’t wait.
University road Melville I went down and I saw a
mini complex and campus square,the place I
always heard about hmmmmm I thought to my
self that “this are the places you only hear in the
news or see on TV but now I am walking on
streets baby “ on my way I saw mzolisto passed
by in the black crysler and I went like! second
day in jorburg and I’m already seeing celebs
means there is a lot of them around. So days
went by and the registration day came,
daaaamn! It was a horrible experience I tell you
but the registration process was dope and quick
. I think I got my student card in like 10min and
everything was done but to get to the
registration venue it took me around 45 minutes
or so because the building was so confusing.
most of you will agree with me on this one, its in
a form of a letter C and from A ring I had to go
to D ring after D ring to D labs I mean WTF!! as
a first year how do you recall all that shit. So I
finished with the registration and called my
parents to tell them that I was finally a UJ
student, I was sooo over the moon !
During registration I met a Xhosa girl siya…she
was sooo damn lost and didn’t actually know
where to go so we assisted each other and
became friends right, away. Fortunately for me,
she wanted to have fun as much as I wanted to
have fun. We decided to meet at around 5oclock
so that we could find a place to turn up. We
asked people and they gave us the directions to
a place called stones at Melville but when we
arrived there it was dry and they told us that it is
happening from 10oclock pm. We didn’t have any
choice but to wait because we wanted to turn up
soooo bad, the only issue we had was transport
but it didn’t bother us that much.
While we were busy sitting two hot guys came in
and they sat next to where we were sitting And
one of them started looking at me and he waived
at me. I wanted to ignore him but he was just
too hot and when i waived back Him and his
friend came and they joined us and they offered
to buy us drinks. We sat there and i drank like
never before.
While we were busy talking and drinking siya and
thapelo wanted to excuse themselves but i just
couldn’t let them. I could see that siya was just
too drunk and i couldnt let her go with thapelo. I
immediately told the both of them that they are
not going anywhere together. What if he wanted
to go rape her, kidnap her or something worse.
after that i could see that thapelo wasn’t happy
anymore. He started giving me a cold eye and i
started feeling uncomfortable. I talked to his
friend sydney but he made no sense because he
was just too drunk and that’s when i decided to
leave because i was starting to feel scared
because of the look thapelo gave me and that’s
when i asked sydney to take us home but he
didn’t want to. Like he thought that he was going
with us to his place. Like you can imagine. i
didn’t even know him so i told him no and that’s
when he told me that he wont take us home…i
told siya that we were leaving but she firstly
became hesitant coz she was drunk. I just
grabbed her By the arm and we went back
home. It was too dark and scary considering the
fact That Brixton was dangerous. While we were
busy walking to our place…we saw two guys in
black and that’s when felt That something was
wrong. I grabbed siya by the arm and i went to
the other lane and to my surprise they also took
that lane…daaamn i was too scared and i told
siya that we should Run back.
We began running and those guys ran after
us..siya fell on the ground and couldn’t continue
running…i couldn’t live her behind and i just sat
there with her and those guys were
approaching…we were both crying because we
didn’t know what those guys wanted from us…
while they were approaching the other guy was
holding a knife in his hand and i screamed even
more thinking that maybe someone will hear
me….


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Chapter 2 (total stranger)
Haqq is ready to go to school for his registration and if possible secure accomodation off camp since he want to stay alone.
The day he has been waiting for is here and words cannot explain how happy he is.
Kareem: my guy no go follow gals forget wetn carry u go school oooo (Kareem have been with haqq all through the day helping him with the arrangements)
Haqq: na guys u want make i follow ba wen i no b gay.... He replied in a voice that shows the gals are not safe
Kareem: i no say u no be womanizer like me but all those hausa gal dy sabi fine die even if u b saint u must commit
Haqq: (laughing in agreement to what Kareem have said) o boy na true ooo walahi some hausa gals dy fine sotay the water wey dem take bath i fit use am drink garri.
Kareem: nawa for u oooo
A voice is heard calling out to haqq it was mr salawu who was trying to confirm if haqq has got all he needs for the journey ahead.
Haqq: yes sir everything is ready
Mr salawu: what of ur documents hope u have packaged them make sure u dnt forget anything
Haqq: i have did all that and am good to go
Mr salawu: ok tommorow as early as 6am we should be at the park to catch the first bus so try and wake up early
Haqq: ye sir
Well the day seems like eternity for haqq because he cant wait for the golden tommorrow to come, and gradually it was already evening, the sun have slowly been swallowed by the unbright cloud, what seems to be day before have now been bashed by darkness and the moon taking it position giving the earth a small illumination of light, at least if nepa people no give us light the moon will not fail us.
Haqq couldnt sleep throughout the night he still cant believe that he will be going to school tomorrow, however if only nature can be cheated then man will become immortal, haqq has fallen into a deep slumber and snored his nose out.
Haqq wake up it is almost 6am already. (mrs aishat trying to wake haqq, he slept very late so what do u expect )
Mrs aishat: haqq wake up jor
Haqq: ummmm( turning around like a snake trying to escape death) mum good morning time dn go like dis?
Mrs aishat: no time never go e dy wait for u better go and bath make we dy go
Haqq quickly rush to the bathroom and as a sharp guy he was set before everybody else, his four siblings are already up to bid thier big bro farewell. Mrs aishat and mr salawu accompany haqq to the park.
The bus was almost full as there were alot of passengers going to zaria for one reason or the other, haqq got his ticket and his sit was third role far from the driver seat and he sat close to the window side.
Haqq mother has already left some words of wisdom for him, so he waved at his parents as the bus gradually set in motion.
The bus speed immidately as the tyres kisses the asphalt, haqq phone ringed and it was kareem calling.
Kareem: badoo hwfar u dn move ba?
Haqq: ma G i dy road ooo
Kareem: safe journey man i dn dy miss u sef
Haqq: eyaaah me too no worry i go buy zaria bread wen i dy come back.
Kareem: ( laughing to haqq statement) ok bro safe
Haqq: bye
They both cut the call, and just as haqq was trying to look around the bus to see the faces of people he is travelling with something enchanting caught his attention, gorgeous the hight of perfection in all of God's creation. Classy yet natural she will make any man fantasize in ecstasy, beautiful like arabian diamond, she is a goddess among us. This were haqq taught wen she saw this rare treasure but as a shy guy he will dare not speak to her.
Very fast the driver had did a great job they were in zaria already and they alight at the park where they will take taxi to thier various location. Haqq had been to zaria before wen he wrote post UME but he cant remember the direction cos it seems a little development had taken place, he ask the driver for direction to samaru in Abu zaria, just as the driver was giving haqq the direction a voice like angel echoed, behold it was the same girl whom he had crushed on while in the bus.
Gal: hello... She greeted haqq with a flash of smile
Haqq: hi beautiful (his heart already pounding like how mama iyabo pound fufu)
Gal: u are going to samaru right cos dats where am heading to
Haqq: yea i just got admission into Abu zaria to study mass comm.
Gal: wow me too dat means we are In d same department.
Haqq: (on hearing this he felt like to swim kanji dam but he manage to compose even though his white teeth is clearly visible.
Gal: how come u dont know road to samaru didnt u wrote post ume
Haqq: well i did, just dat am nt dat good in locating places easily, but thank God for bringing u along i know am in safe hands nw he said teasingly..
Gal: (she blushed with her dimple shape like apple)
Haqq: by the way whats ur name if u dnt mind.
Gal: am rahimat some people call me by my tribal name oyiza which means blessing
Haqq: i said it the moment i saw u in dat bus i know u are an angel ( oh no he shouldn't have say that)
Rahimat: have u been crushing on me.... She said looking at haqq seductively
Haqq: may b a little by d way am haqq
Rahimat: nice to meet u
Haqq: it is a privilege i will never forget.
(Incase u want to know all this conversation took place while they were waiting for taxi.)
Fast forward, they are already in samaru but is too late and they have to find where to sleep rahimat have a sister in zaria and they live in a very big apartment so she offered to allow haqq come sleep with them since they are from the same state and of the same tribe.
Haqq and rahimat just reached mrs halimat home the sister of rahimat, she is married to a banker and she is blessed with 3children two gals and a boy the house belong to her husband and there are alot of empty rooms there.
Both rahimat and haqq were welcomed warmly and each been taken to thier prospective rooms. Haqq was treated like a king there was cold in zaria he was served with warm water to take his bath with and later he was invited to his room and treated to spontaneous dish.
Next day
It is time to go do the registration in senate building inside samaru campus, the registration was stressful but with rahimat by his side all day, haqq has no reason to feel the stress infact he was enjoying it.
It took them 2days to finish everything and lecture have commenced immediately no time to waste trust ABU, haqq first day in the classroom brings alot of memory and he was happy meeting new faces and as a sharp guy he makes friends immidately with few guyz he met, the class was few though may be the rest are yet to resume he taught to himself...
Alot of beautiful gals everywhere but non compare to rahimat.. they are very close especially thier first day in class you will think they are couples and they both share the same seat.
Two month later....
Haqq is now jagaban of zaria he already rented his own apartment very close to the school with the help of mrs halimat same applies to rahimat she cant stay with her sister cos her place was very far from school infact it is so far that u will think u are going to heaven and things were going smoothly untill mr agada came along.
Mr agada is the lecturer who took tv and society as a course what makes him different from other lecturer? His love for women can only be measure with how Kareem loves iya happiness beans, this lecturer can do anything to sleep with any lady, well thank God haqq is not a gal so why should he have problem with mr agada?
Earlier haqq has gist kareem his friend about rahimat and how he feel for her and trust Kareem he had advice haqq to go for her before is too late, well after alot attempt haqq had summoned the courage to invite rahimat to his house and prepare for her a nice meal before he finally prophesied his love to her, you no naija babes dem go form first but she agreed to date haqq afterall they share a good chemistry together and haqq is handsome brilliant and a perfect gentle man, there relationship was so strong that everybody in mass comm department called them romeo and juliet all eyes who had witnessed thier love must envied including mr agada.
Okay wetn concern mr agada and relationship again?....well mr agada likes rahimat and he has several times make adavances to her but she keep rejecting and she told haqq about this but what can poor haqq do?... Soon first semester exam came knocking and the students were set to write thier first exam in Abu and haqq cant wait to travel back to kogi to visit his parents and siblings even though they do talk time to time but thats not enough and ofcourse what of Kareem his crazy friend no he must go to kogi by fire by force.
The exam was ongoing and haqq find all the paper easy cos he had read so hard and those who didn't read were found chewing thier pen like kola nut,.. soon the exam was over and haqq was preparing to go kogi but before he leave... he invited rahimat to his house and they talked about the exam and all that, but all of a sudden the mood have changed there was an electrifying connection between them like never before, both eyez gazing at each other like how i look at okporoko before i finally bite it,
Haqq-u are so beautiful..he said in an erotic voice.
Rahimat: thanks (from the way she said thanks u will know she is in the mood
The intensity of the sexual moment radiate they kissed with passion, haqq right hand stroll gently through her breast squeezing it upward and downward, haqq gently kiss rahima neck down to her chest region, she is so endowed with two pouted bosom that is already aroused by the erotic touch haqq is giving her, this time haqq had unbutton her cloth and her pink bra becomes visible, he removed the bra unveiling the milk jar, haqq didnt hesitate to feed his appetite with the fresh and undiluted boobs. kissing and sucking the tilts like back then wen he was a baby, damn!!!!...he must have really miss sucking boobs, well rahimat is a sharp gal also, he grab haqq balls scrubbing it gently, her hands now rigmarolling around haqq monstrous Joystick touching the tips to intensify the heat after a couple of hot romance, haqq laid her down gently, he open her leg to get access to the honey pot and his joystick penetrate and rahimat moan in pleasure, thier breath becomes one, heart beating untop heart, body and soul of two people now bond to become one, it was great sex dy have there and after about 3 round or more they were done and rahimat took her bath, dressed up and haqq see her off.
Haqq came back and was so happy couldn't believe he just had sex with a beautiful damsel wow Kareem must hear about this he arrange his thing and was set to leave the following day, his only taught was that going to kogi will be full of fun as there are enough gist for his friend and more respect from his father is guaranteed but will things work out as planned, haqq is about to witness the biggest shock of his life?
To be continue.....


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Arise O Cool Dry Breeze
Harmattan Call We Obey
To Serve All Wet Things Dry
With Wind, Strength & Cold
The Labur Of Umbrella Past
Shall Not Just Be In Vin
To Wash Legs With Water Better Than Bath
Some Girls Shall Stop 2 Rub white Powder On Face
PLEDGE
I Pledge 2 Harmattan My Visitor
To Be Heat Free Dry And Whitish
To Purchase Vasline Without Delay
To Defend Her White Nature
And Oppose Dry Lips & Cold Breeze
So Help Me Vaseline #B-goF


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-06 15:02:11

455 Views




Sean’s heartbeat rose as the seconds grew
closer. It was a few minutes to 9am. The
Sniper commander had just radioed, saying
that the Governor and his convoy were very
close and would pass by any moment. He
demanded sharpness now more than ever.
Beads of sweat broke out on Sean’s forehead.
He was nervous. Who wouldn’t be? Asides the
fact that he had to take out the number one
citizen of the state, this was his final test. His
performance would determine the next thing
that happened to him. Still sprawled on the
roof top he looked through the lens of the
sniper rifle positioned on a small tripod stand.
The street beneath him was free of cars but
filled with armed police men who were
desperately trying to control the teeming
crowd and still watch out for strays. He
slotted in the only available single long silver
bullet and snapped the bullet chamber shut.
He needed only one shot. He closed his eyes
and waited. Closing his eyes always helped
him gather his thoughts. It made him focus on
the task at hand and helped block out any
form of distractions.
A few minutes later, he heard sounds of
drumming and fanfare. The trumpets blared at
heightened tempo while the drummers
desperately tried to match the intensity of the
blasts. They were close by. He opened his
eyes. His heartbeat was intense. But he had to
do it. He had come too far to stop now. He
could not help it. He put his left eye on the
lens and closed his right eye. The Governor
was about 5 knots to his left, standing
through the open roof of his car and waving to
the ecstatic crowd who chanted his name. He
waited as the Governor’s car moved slowly
into the target zone. Sean’s hands were
sweaty under his black cotton gloves. He
suddenly felt the need to ease himself. He
fought it. Sophia’s words rang in his head:
“Take out the Governor”.
He put his right forefinger in the trigger hole.
As the Governor’s car moved, slowly entering
the target zone, Sean’s finger slowly grabbed
the trigger. The Governor was finally in the
zone. The target mark was on his head. Sean
pulled the trigger. 20 meters to his left, the
Governor fell on his head. Dead.
There was commotion everywhere as the
crowd scattered in different directions. The
Campaign carnival had suddenly turned into a
blood bath. The Governor was immediately
pulled inside the car. The once slow cars that
moved at snail pace during the parade now
sped dangerously through Ozumba Mbadiwe,
rushing to get the Governor medical attention.
The armed police men were confused and
surprised at the same time. Nobody envisaged
this. Nobody knew what to do.
From his ground position the Sniper
Commander stood perplexed. He looked
through his highly powered ultra-binoculars at
the rooftops of the nearest buildings.
He spoke into his radio:
“Snipers! Maintain your positions! No body
moves! I repeat, NOBODY MOVES!” He
screamed
As he spoke, he scanned the entire sky rise
buildings, making sure that each sniper was in
place as commanded. As he radioed the
choppers for a head count, whilst scanning
the rooftops with his binoculars, he noticed
one of the sniper posts without a sniper.
“Code Red. Track down Sniper 038 now!” He
ordered
Sean got up very quickly, moving away from
the edge of the roof. There was a small door
on the roof which also served as a fire escape.
He opened the door, revealing a stairwell that
led to the ground floor. As he hurried down
the stairs, he took off this sniper uniform. He
had another uniform underneath which had
RRS written back and front. He was on the
third floor when he heard the radio call from
the Sniper commander. There was a gun and a
helmet by the landing of the second floor. He
wore the helmet and took the gun. He got out
through the back door looking very smart. He
saw a team of RRS soldiers and joined them.
They nodded at him as they walked in a
group. They had walked for fifteen minutes,
searching every nook and cranny when a grey
Peugeot car pulled over. A man opened the
door and called to him.
“Hey you. Come in here.” The man pointed to
Sean.
Everything was going according to plan. This
was the exact way Sophia had said he would
be extracted. He felt relieved.
Immediately he got into the car and shut the
door, he knew he was in trouble.
There was no one he recognized in the bus.
As he calculated his options on how to
escape, a punch hit him on the face from
nowhere. He felt blood trickle from his nose.
Before he could react, someone put a wet
handkerchief on his nose. He could not
breathe. There was some form of liquid on the
handkerchief. It smelt like sulfur.
Sean passed out.


Episode 28
Two men walked into a huge bakery. One of
them was tall dark and huge. He looked like a
thug. His biceps and chest rippled and
struggled against his tight black body
hugging t-shirt. He walked behind the other
man who was plump, had a bulging stomach
and was dressed in a suit. He was below
average height and smoked a cigarette. Smoke
filled the whole atmosphere as sweaty workers
mixed flour. They divided the mixed flour,
cutting it into different sizes and panning it.
They did not bother to acknowledge the men
as they walked past them, opening a small
door that led into a corridor. One of the men
was the Boss and had previously warned that
the workers always carry on with their work
anytime he came by. He detested recognition.
They closed the door behind them. There were
in another room now. It was a very tiny room
with pipes carrying water lining the walls on
both sides. They walked quietly for a while till
they got to the end of the room.
There was yet another man sitting on a chair
by the wall. Bloodied face, swollen lips and
one black eye that was now temporarily half
closed. The man looked up at his visitors, his
hands tied to his sides on the metal chair he
sat on.
“Water. Wa..tttt..ee..rrrrrrrr” The man muttered
almost out of breath. He was barely audible.
One of the two men, who was the Boss,
brought out a plastic bottle of water from his
jacket and handed it to his partner.
“He wants water. Shark, Let’s give him some
water.” The boss said.
“Yes Boss.” Shark said.
Shark opened the water and approached Sean.
As Sean opened his mouth, Shark bent the
bottle in a vertical position and began to
gently pour. As Sean began to gulp, Shark
moved the bottle away from his mouth. He
slowly and deliberately poured the water on
the floor beside Sean, laughing wickedly as
the contents of the bottle emptied on the dirty
floor. Sean almost cried. He leaned his head
backwards and closed his eyes. He knew he
was going to die there. When it would
eventually happen, he had no idea. But he was
very convinced it would happen pretty soon.
The room was very small, cramped with pipes
on the walls on both sides. The only source of
light was a small bulb on the ceiling that
came on only when he had visitors. There was
a fan on the ceiling that croaked and worked
at an agonizingly slow pace. He was sweaty
most of the time. The whizzing of the pipes
when water passed through them was now
music to his ears. His only companion was
his thoughts.
He had lost track of day and time and had no
idea where he was. A very frail old man who
seemed in his late 70’s had brought him food
before his current visitors arrived. He did not
know if it was twice a day or once a day. The
last time the Old man visited seemed like an
eternity. He had tried to converse with the
man. The old man did not speak English or
any of the languages Sean had mastered. It
sounded to Sean like he spoke Tiv. The Old
man eventually managed a little, “me don’t
hear. Me speak” before feeding Sean with the
usual meager bowl of tasteless rice just
enough to sustain him. He was not even
strong enough to question the old man or to
strain his brain, so he let the Old man be. He
knew they were keeping him alive for a
reason. Maybe these two men were going to
tell him.
Shark dropped the bottle of water, squatting in
front of Sean.
“Did you kill the Governor?” The Boss asked
just behind Shark
“Who? What Governor? Is he dead?” Sean said
slowly.
Shark landed a heavy punch to Sean’s
stomach just below his rib cage. Sean yelped
in pain as spurts of blood escaped his mouth.
He tried desperately to catch his breath.
They waited for Sean to get himself together.
“I am going to ask you one more time Sean.
Did you kill the Governor?” The Boss queried.
Sean looked up at the man. He was feeling
faint. He just wanted to die and give
everything up. It was not worth it. He wanted
to just spill everything but he thought about
his mother. She had done nothing and she did
not deserve to die for his crimes. He was
going to do this on his own. The Ghosts
always keep their word. As long as he kept
mute, his mother would be safe. They had
honor. These men interrogating him did not.
He had no doubts about that. He was ready to
die.
“I..do… not… know… what…you… are… talking
about.” Sean said very slowly.
“Are you crazy? You are talking back at the
Boss like that? What the fvck is wrong with
you boy?” Shark said irritated at Sean.
He made to hit Sean again but the Boss
stopped him.
“Stop. Easy Shark, easy.” The Boss said.
Shark moved away for the Boss, going farther
away from Sean. The Boss now took Shark’s
position. Only he did not squat.
“Sean, you are within an inch of your life right
now. We can protect you. Change your life.
Give you a new identity. Anything you want,
just name it. It would be documented and
signed. Its full proof, fail safe and very
genuine. We need people like you on our side
Sean. But first we need to bring down the bad
guys. And we need your help. We will make
you disappear. The whole government is
behind you on this one. You can disappear
anywhere in the world. It’s totally your choice.
The man you killed had a family. A wife, kids.
A duty. He was loved by everyone. The
Government is working at super speed. We
have a lot of good clues. The people won’t
rest till they have the killer’s head on full
display. That head doesn’t have to be yours
Sean. Do you understand me?” The Boss
asked.
Sean nodded.
Sean closed his eyes. He smiled within him.
These men were very good, but not good
enough. If he was a rookie, he might have
been bought over. He knew this routine the
way he knew his name. Good cop, bad cop.
The bad cop comes first, threatening and
abusing. Tries to scare the living daylight out
of the suspect. Then when that doesn’t work
out, then the good cop comes in. He acts like
he really cares, tries to be reasonable. Offers a
bottle of water, coffee or food. He tries to
warm up to you. He is the deadliest.
“Are you with me Sean?” The Boss asked.
Sean opened his eyes. Slowly he said “Yes, I
am”
“Good boy. Now who sent you to kill the
Governor?” The Boss asked.
“I do not know what you are talking about.”
Sean repeated.
The Boss kept his cool and walked to Shark.
He whispered something in his ears. Shark
gave Sean another trademark punch. Sean’s
chair rocked. They left him there and closed
the door.
The visits continued and the torture increased.
The food reduced and he hardly got enough
water for a day. Every time, they asked him
the same question. Every time they got the
same answer. He had emaciated so much.
The sixth day came. They visited him as
usual. He had sores on his skin. He could
barely talk. His breathing was labored.
He could not open his eyes.
They met a pool of vomit and blood by his
feet.
“He won’t make it. He can’t die here. Take
him to the electric room. Let’s end his
miserable life there. What a waste!” The Boss
said to Shark spitting beside Sean.
Shark untied Sean and carried him like a
groom lifting his wife for bedding.
Sean said a short prayer in his mind.
The end had finallly come.

Enjoying this story?


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Christian Doctor: "Your recovery was a miracle!" Christian Patient: "Thank God! Now I don't have to pay you."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-09 13:40:04

316 Views




A lonely woman checked into a resort and decided to call one of the numbers she’d seen advertising male escort services and sensual massages. She flipped through the phone book, found an ad with a picture of a particularly strapping young man and called the number.


“Hello?” a male voice answered. “How may I help you?”


“I hear you give a great massage, and I’d really like to experience one,” the woman said. “Well, actually, I should just be straight with you. I’m in town, I’m all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring toys, rubber, leather, whips… everything you’ve got in your bag of tricks. We’ll go hot and heavy all night. Tie me up and cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream. I want to do it all. How does that sound?”


“That sounds great,” the man replied, “but you need to press 9 for an outside line.”Related

Akpos: Baby, i love you, please would u marry
me?
Girl: (Stands up and gave him a stinging
slap on his face) I have waited more than
15years, i have prayed, fasted, sowed seeds,
bought books and listened to tapes,
even went on my way to be nice to Men
of marriageble age.
I took up new hobbies, watching football and
playstation.
I went to house on the rock, mfm, christ
embassy,living faith, redeemed and presently at
winners looking everywhere 4 you.
I went from a size 16 to size 10, so that when
you see me, you will love what you see..
I left lagos to abuja, then i left to portharcourt,
then i went all d way to kano and back to
Lagos.
I joined hi-five, from hi-five to facebook, from
facebook to twitter, i even had a blog on which I
rented, hoping you will show up.
I uploaded only my best pictures on facebook,
infact i took photo sessions to look my best.
I attended all the weddings, whether the
invitation was direct or indirect
The next place i was hoping to check was the
moon, before you crawled out from the house
directly to mine.
So it was you all this while?
The neighbour i said hello to every morning.
Were you trying my faith?
You almost rendered my prayer life useless.
What were you waiting for?
What sign were you looking for?
Do u want to kill me before you reveal yourself?
Now be a gentleman, get down on your knees
and
put d ring on my finger.
Akpos: (Shouted) April fool !!
If you were the girl, what would you do to him?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-04 13:24:59

531 Views




I`ll always prefer to play with women and hang out with women, and I’ll always be a feminist.

~ Courtney LoveRelated

BROKEN SEAL
Episode19

Ella: we use to live in a small
village, far away from Manila.
Our family was the happy type.
Though we don’t have all we
want, we enjoy what we ever
needed. On one fateful day, i
guess ten years ago. I came
back from school, only to hear
the bad news that dad left
hours ago and haven’t
returned, thats very unusual of
him. We waited for hours, days,
weeks, and months but dad
didn’t come back to us. What
happened to him remains a
puzzle to mum and I, even to
this day. The disappearance of
dad marked the begining of
another life for us… *tear
drops, sniffs* A life full of
toiling with little or no reward,
a hard life, a life of extreme
poverty as all my father’s
relatives didn’t care about us
anymore. We found ourselves
here in Manila..mother tried
her best to make sure i go to
college. *sniffs* thats my story
Isaiah….
Me: (short of words) sorry
about all you’ve been
through…..please stop crying.
I’d always be there for you,
thats a promise i intend to
keep…i love you so much Ella,
no matter what. I said those
words whilst patting her
shoulder gently. My words
seem to have an effect ‘coz she
managed to smile.
Me: its getting boring in here,
do you play PC games?
Ella: i sure do….lets play ‘cops
and robbers’
Me: ok ma’am, but i’d be the
cop.
Ella: no way! do i look like a
robber to you?
Me: hell yeah! You stole my
heart!
Ella: *laughing* Ella played
like a pro, she was always
winning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ella: i should be on my way.
Me: sleep over please? You’ar
on leave right?
Ella: yes but…..
Me: but?
Ella: i’d pass the night here!!!
Me: thats my cinderella.
Ella: crazy…..why don’t we take
a walk?
Me: i was thinking of that too.
We bought two cans of ice
cream and started walking
down the street under the
graceful street lights, going
nowhere in particular. We were
enjoying everything…soon it
started raining.
Me: (offering my jacket) cover
you self with this, you might
catch cold.
Ella: no thanks, am warm.
Me: oh! I forgot you grew up
in sahara…..seriously, hasten
your footsteps. We started
jogging ‘coz the rain’s
intensity was increasing
gradually.
Ella stumbled “hey careful” i
said, hugging her.
Ella: yeah thanks. We remained
in the ‘hug position’ for what
seemed like ages. She raised
her head, i also lower mine a
little. Lips
closer….closer….closer! (hope
ma’am kate won’t interrupt)
closer!!…..locked. The kiss was
sooo passionate, the drips of
water wetting us made it more
romantic!!!!! We were on the
street but who cares? The kiss
disengaged after minutes. We
ran home and I showed her the
guest room, it was tidy, thanks
to Isai.
MORNING @6:30AM
My bed alarm woke me up. I
tiptoed to the guest room, Ella
was still asleep, great!! I did a
little hygiene and went to a
mall opposite my home. I
bought a green Indian gown
for Ella since rain wet the dress
she was clad in yesterday. I
didn’t knock ‘coz i was
thinking Ella would still be
asleep. But i was wrong, Ella
sat in the living room, Isai was
with her. Isabella was wearing
fresh hospital bandages all
over her face. WTF!!! What
happened?

>>


Akpos broke up with his girlfriend three days to Valentine`s day. This is what happened:

Girlfriend: Baby, I need 90,000 Naira for Brazilian hair so that I will look good for you on Val`s day.
Akpos: Haven`t I told you that since Brazil beat us 3-0 in 2003, I hate to hear the name `Brazil`? You don`t have respect. It`s over between us.





NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-15 21:49:10

243 Views




Ladies fuck the Diamonds.

Now Tattoos are forever!Related

Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.

-SocratesRelated

One special surprise for you.

Get ready… but first, close your eyes!


10


9


8


7


6


5


4


3


2


1


Lauda Le Le…

Tune Aankh Band Hi Nahi Ki!Related

JAPANESE SEX [Read it]


A Japanese couple is arguing about how
to perform highly erotic sex. HUSBAND: Sukitaki, Mojitaka! Wife replies, "Kowanini! Mowi janakpa!" Husband says angrily, "Toka a anji rodi
roumi yakoo!" Wife, on her knees, literally begging,
"Mimi Nakoundinda tinkouji!" Husband shouts angrily, "Na miaou kina
Tim Kinji!" I can't believe you just sat there trying
to read this! You don't know any
Japanese! You'll read anything as long
as it's about sex... Sometimes I worry about you. You're in
need of serious help!
#BOLLY_SMART™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-01 19:58:40

1265 Views




Do not only be close with someone who makes you happy. Be close with someone who cannot be happy without you. It makes a lot difference to him at least.Related

Women are naturally secretive, and they like to do their own secreting.

~Arthur Conan DoyleRelated

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-05 19:23:48

489 Views




The journey was full of enchantment for Bakhita. The slow rising and setting of the Sun on the immense sea caused her to ask herself " who is the master of these amazing wonders?".

There was geart emotion on their arrival at the ports with the people on the quay waving their handkerchiefs at the passengers on board,the ship anticipating their encounters and hugs with impatient excitement, imagine the emotional reaction of Bakhita at this effusion of love! Her thoughts flew far,far away.

They finally disembarked at Genoa and there was even more news.

Here Bakhita and ourselves with her are onlookers of a new surprise,Mrs Michieli who had come to the port to meet her husband, Augusto, "when she saw us two African -the little boy and me,after having greeted her husband she immediately addressed him,but why didn't you think of bringing am African girl to help me with the housework? ".

It was evident that Mr Michieli expected a better welcome from his wife,but she continued to rebuke him and demanded a solution on the spot, Mr legnani was present throughout and became involved, he finally exchanged a few words with his friend and came to an understanding, he would give Bakhita as a gift to the Michieli family.

Thus,instead of going to padue with the vice consul, Bakhita went to mirano Veneto,with her New master.

The sorrow and dismay of the young African girl at being separated from the man she considered her liberator were indescribable, with deep bitterness Bakhita concluded her account with a sentence full of pathos:
" I heard nothing more from him"

Mrs Michieli returned satisfied to the village in zianigo,mirano Veneto and the following years the Michieli family was delighted by the birth of Alice, affectionately called Mimmina.Bakhita who was already well known for her gentle ways ,who was already well known for her gentle ways was entrusted with looking after the bady and strong bond was established between the two of them the lady dressed her in European clothes though she consented to Bakhita back hair being in the traditional style of her country.

Bakhita adapted to everything, mummina's company filled her days with happiness and when the little one went to bed at night,Bakhita occupied herself with other house work, her mind however turned to her country and in particular to her dear ones.

IF YOU ARE FOLLOWING LEAVE A COMMENT.

>>

Akpos was sent by his oga to go and buy him some palm win. As he return, his oga sip the drink and shouted "what! This palm win has expired, didn't you test it before you buy it?". "No sir", Akpos replied. From today make sure you test anything I ask you to buy before you buy, is that clear? "Yes sir", Akpos answered. Few days later, Akpos was sent by his oga to buy him palm win and recharge card. When he returned, his oga asked him, "I hope you didn't buy me expired drink again". "No sir, I tested it before I paid including the recharge card" says Akpos. "His oga gave him a dirty slap, What! You mean you actually loaded the recharge card in your phone". Akpos replied with tears, I only scratched off the card and counted the pin no to ensure its 12 digits.

Is Akpos Wrong or Right?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-11 21:31:31

4043 Views



?? ?? ?? …. [Read it]


?? ?? ???? ????? ??? ???? ?? ???? ?? ???????? ???? ??? ??? :

???? ?? ???? ???….
?? ?? ‘?? ????’ ??? ?? ‘???’ ?????….!????l????????????????????Related

Kis Qadar Naadim Hua Hoon Main Bura Keh Kar Usey;

Kya Khabar Thi Jaate Jaate Woh Dua De Jaye Ga!



Translation:


Naadim = Feel GuiltyRelated

Teacher:what is the name of a female lizard? Akpos:lizzybaby


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-14 13:08:04

645 Views




Love is not blind – it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.

-Julius GordonRelated

Luke: sir;my name is Luke
Lambert: why are you with my daughter?don't you know she is married?
Loveth: dad;he is just my friend
Lambert: what kind of friend?
Jude: go on and answer the question
Luke: just friends sir
Jude: liar;this is the boy my wife has been flirting with;i am sure they are together last night
Lambert: will you kept quiet,are you by chance calling my daughter a prostitute in front of me
Jude: sir;i am telling you the truth;this brother of mine is the one misleading her
Lambert: get out of my house;don't you dare come close to my daughter and i don't want to see your silly face in my house again
Jude: sir
Lambert: i said out before i release the dogs on you(he walked away)Loveth;inside now(he walked in)
Grace: thank you my son
Luke: is nothing;i go ahead
Loveth: bye(exit Luke)mom;i hope dad is not mad at me
Grace: go see for yourself
Loveth: dad
Lambert: what are you thinking spending the night with a boy that is not your husband
Loveth: i was scared when Jude sent me out of the house that night
Grace: why didn't you come home?
Loveth: i didn't want to disturb you two with my problem and when i saw superman;i decided to go with him
Lambert: it is still wrong
Loveth: dad;we didn't sleep in a private place;we slept at the hospital
Lambert: please be very careful and i beg you don't do anything stupid with anyone apart for your husband. honey go take your bath and rest;is like you didn't sleep last night
Loveth: i will dad
Grace: make sure you eat
Loveth: i will mom
Grace: take care
Loveth: bye(exit Grace/Lambert)thank God;dad is at home;if not Jude would had strangle me. it feels really good to have a dad,let go have my bath and eat(curtain)


Liz: did you see her?
Jude: of cause i saw her
Liz: at her dad's place
Jude: no;i was there when she returned with Luke of cause
Liz: i told you that girl is a prostitute and what did her dad say?
Jude: her dad was mad at me because i let his slept outside
Liz: that man is as useless as his wife
Lucas: can't i have rest in my house
Jude: asked your useless son
Lucas: are you crazy?
Jude: your son slept with my wife last night
Lucas: Luke can't do that
Liz: but he just did
Lucas: woman;shut your gutter
Jude: this conversation is heading nowhere(he walked away)
Liz: tell your son to stay away from his wife and leave my son's wife
Lucas: just get inside
Liz: i am leaving already
Lucas: stupid(curtain)

Muriel: where are you coming from?
Luke: from work of cause
Muriel: you slept at work
Luke: mom;what kind of question is that(enter Alex)
Muriel: what is wrong with you?
Luke: mom;please,i do not have time.
Alex: how are you ma?
Muriel: fine
Joan: how is your son's health now?
Alex: my son
Joan: yes;my husband said your son is sick
Alex: when?
Luke: what is wrong with you?did you not remember the day i spent the day in your house?
Alex: oh!he is fine
Joan: alright;i go ahead
Alex: Luke;lets go
Joan: i go ahead(exit Joan)
Muriel: excuse me
Luke: Alex;you want to put me in trouble
Alex: sorry;you didn't tell me
Luke: fine;my brother as find out that i spent the night with Loveth last night
Alex: you did what?again
Luke: will you keep it low
Alex: i think you need help
Luke: i don't
Alex: what are you doing?
Luke: i just can't leave her in the cold all alone
Alex: can't you stay away from her?
Luke: Alex;i can't because i can't do that
Alex: Luke;don't be annoying
Luke: come on;lets say something else
Alex: okay(curtain)





TO BE CONTINUE....


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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For me and Mary, we were like rat and mouse
in the house, I couldn’t wait for the following
morning to arrive as it was like the longest
and most important 24 hours of my life…We
left for my parent house around 2pm…
Don’t know why she closed late but Biola
came as early as 4pm and I was surprised…I
ran inside the room to hide myself and
immediately she sat down and my mum
mentioned my name, she burst into tears..i
couldn’t take it either and I was crying myself
inside. My mum pleaded on my behalf on
what she witnessed and assured her she has
her utmost respect as she never expected that
kind of behaviour from me but in Biola’s word
“mummy, snakie took me for a fool…she took
me for a nonentity..initially I was devastated
that why will he be sleeping with his cousin
not until his girlfriend sent me series on
messages on facebook of how they are not
related and they have been fooling me all this
while…..Snakie was sleeping with both of us
under the same roof..who does that mummy?
Even if you want to do side runs, it shouldn’t
be to my nose under the same roof..it was just
too much for me to take and its still like a
dream…….she told me so many things that I
believed was a secret between me and snakie
that I never believed someone else will know
about it….Snakie was more of the devil
mummy and I regretted the day I met
him…..but have left him for God to judge
us..he has done his worst but I believe God in
his infinite mercy will shower me with his
blessings sooner than later..have accepted my
fate and God will judge us if I ever use two
mind with him…am not angry with you mum
and I know the kind of parent you are that you
can never be in his support that’s why I have
to give you the honour of coming over to this
house..even my mum must not know that I
visited you, it will be disastrous for me”
I had to come out when I couldn’t take it
again, prostrated on the floor and held her
leg…
“Baby please, just gimme five minutes to
explain myself”
“what do you have to explain snakie? What?…
your wife has already explained everytyn to
me, atleast she’s already carrying your baby
and am not…….so, you could impregnated
another lady after you always maintain that
we should use condom as you don’t want me
to be pregnant outside wedlock? am satisfied
with all her explanation abi watz d difference
in your stories?” she inquired….
I explained how it all happened to her…why I
kept it secret in other not to hurt her and my
expectation of her leaving my house..i made
her understand why I always frown on her stay
in the house and how she always convinced
me to let her stay against my wish..”I never
meant to hurt you baby”am very sorry……its
you that I love and I want to marry you baby..i
cant do without you baby…please forgive me
baby”……………..
“That’s by gone, have forgiven you…..u didn’t
offend me snakie, u only did your
worst….Mummy, thank you very much..i want
to take my leave…….Goodbye ma”
I was devastated and was just crying…mum
came over to console me….”what happened as
happened..you have made this mistake
already and you have to learn from it….We
have to forge ahead and always seek for
forgiveness from Biola..imagine someone
doing what you did to biola and what you are
having in mind to do to mary to your
sister,how will u feel?”
We went back to my house, Mary has was
preparing our food when we got to the house…
mum lock my bedroom saying she wont allow
me go in until its time for us to sleep…..Dad
called later in the day and he had a lengthy
discussion with mum..didnt even know what
they discussed as she went to the visitors
room to receive the call while me and Mary
were in the sitting room staring at each other
without any conversationShe came back later
to the dining table when food was already
served and asked me to come and eat..we
finished eating when she broke the news to me
“Your dad called and he instructed us to visit
Mary’s parent on Sunday…………Mary, tell your
parent we are coming on Sunday”…..
“Ohk ma”…she responded
“Mum, while will dad said something like
that..didnt u explain everytyn to him?”…..i
asked
“ I explained all what happened to him…..You
know your dad very well….you know I can
never say NO to him once his mind is made
up…and we will never want to spoil our
reputable name because of your mess….its a
hard decision we have to make….we are
meeting your inlaw on Sunday Okomi”

To Be Continued…



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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He pulled me up and held my hands staring into his eyes with tears. “goodbye Hagan” he said. “what!” abigail yelled from behind. “i told you, didnt i? They are hypocrites!” Alex also uttered. ” Alex what are you doing here?” i began to wipe of my tears in shame. I was really embarrassed. “you are lovers? And you hid all that from me?” she looked at us in disappointment. “abigail no..its not what you think, we have to talk please.” justice tried to draw closer to her. ” no no, don’t come close, don’t even dare! Don’t” she looked at me for the last time and dashed out of the room. “abigail wait!” justice ran after her. ” what did you do that for? Why did you??And when did you even come in here? I hate you Alex and i will forever hate you!” i yelled with all my strength. ” aw really, you can hate me for all you care and hope you eat that curse you carry as a baby all by yourself” he replied with anger. My tommy started to hurt immediately he uttered those words. All that i saw was his presence fading away. ” i held my belly as i wept more and more!”
i needed to see abigail after what happened. I need explain things to her. She is a woman just like i am and she would understand. She has to. I took my steps very fast after parking my car. Almost entering into her room, i saw justice coming from the other end. We stood still to stare at each other. He was so serious while i stared in grief and love. Yes i still loved him. ” let me go!” we heard a shout from the room. Yeah abigails bedroom. Justice got the door open instantly and there he was harassing her. “will you get your hands off!” justice yelled at Alex. “what will you do if i don’t. Don’t tell me you are now a saint Johnson” the bloody ingrate asked. “why don’t you tell him what we have been through together? Huh! She has been my woman, i broke her virginity Johnson! I did! Come on abigail tell him” he continued with his stupid talks. I saw abigail on her bed with her face in her palms, sobbing. “you lost man, cause i have both women with me!” ” will you shut up!” i rebuked him. “aw here comes the tough girl.” he encountered. He is really a beast! I couldn’t believe what i saw next. Justice knelt down with tears in his eyes and crawled to abigail with his knees. Held her lap, held her hands and kissed them at the back. “please forgive me, ” he uttered. “please my love” he kept on begging for her love. He didnt care if abigail was a virgin or not. I was perplexed. Did i just witness this? I couldn hold my tears as i ran out.
The only thing i did was to cry. I couldn’t concentrate on work so i asked jackline to handle the company. I was so broken. I never heard from them until my birthday. I dint actually celebrate it cause nothing mattered to me any more. I heard a knock on the door, i flagged it open only to see abigail. “please come in” i ushered her in calmly. And if you must know, its been a long while since she saw me so she was surprise to see my big belly. “hei you will be delivering soon” she touched my belly and joked. But then i realised she was wipping of tears from her eyes. ” abigail” i uttered her name but she turned away to hide her weakness. ” please have seat” i said to her, i don’t know why but i was kind of shaking when she entered. ” have you heard from John?” she asked. “what! Why, please have a seat” i pleaded but she refused. “no, im okay” ” you still love him don’t you?” she asked. i couldn’t answer her, i didnt want to answer because i will end up hurting her. “you don’t have to answer anyway. I am happy for you Hagan, and i am sure he loved you too” she wept the more, tears flow after each sentence and i was getting scared the more. ” please make him happy and love him with the love i have for him, because i love him more than anything God gave me. And i love you too sweetheart.”she said and embraced me with an uncontrollable tears. “she was really cold when she held me” “what is wrong with you abigail, you are shivering” i asked. She didnt reply but instead, she kissed me goodbye and left. “abi…” i tried calling her but she fade awayand the whole atmosphere changed.
Can some body tell me whats happening cause i am scared

>>

Favorite fruit [Read it]


I have been crying since yesterday when a friend told me that his favorite fruit is yam......


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-12-15 11:18:40

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