Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

GOOD EXCUSE [Read it]


A man was driving home late one
afternoon, and he was driving above
the speed limit. He looked in his
rearview mirror and noticed a police car
with its red lights. He thought, "I can
outrun this guy", so he floored it. The cars were racing down the highway
- 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Finally, as his speedometer passes 100,
the guy realised he can't outrun the
policeman so he gave up and pulled
over to the curb. The police officer got out of his car and
approached the car. He leaned down
and said, "Listen mister man, I have had
a really lousy day, and I just want to go
home. Give me a good excuse and I will
let you go." The man thought for a moment and
said, "Three weeks ago my wife ran off
with a police officer. When I saw your
car in my rear view mirror I thought you
were the officer and you were trying to
give her back to me!"
#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-24 07:23:54

348 Views




“Jeez!” Jeremy exclaimed. “Isn’t that gonna kill him?”

“It might, might not.” Darren replied. “Come on, I’ve got to shut down the security cameras.”

He trotted to the control center and the others trailed. He got busy to work.

“Jeremy,” Ernest blurted out. “You’ve got to forgive me. I really am sorry. Please, let it go.”

Jeremy looked up at him. He was hurt, really hurt. Still, he had to let it go. Pride and ego wasn’t gonna get in his way. He smiled sincerely, “I forgive you. It was difficult, I mean it is. But I do.”

Ernest was relieved. He felt happy. He smiled in return.

“All cameras down.” Darren informed.

They turned to him.

“The house is ours now. We’re gonna split and search for her discreetly as we can. Allan would soon be here. Lets move it.”

*
*
*

“I can’t breathe,” Purity whinned, “Move back. You are just too close.”

“Do you know how long I’ve waited and wanted to be alone with you? Let me enjoy it!”

“Annoying jerk!” Purity cursed. “Let me go!” she screamed.

“Wild as a horse. You’re exactly the same.”

“Let go!” she shoved him out of her face with all the strength she had.

“I’m Jayden Cristiano, you bitch!” he yelled at her, stepping back.

“Don’t you dare call me names,” she warned, panting. “Wait, did you just say Jayden? Jayden?” The J and Y. It did not mean Jeremy, it meant Jayden. She’d been a fool to think only the name ‘Jeremy’ had a J and Y. “What the heck are you? I don’t know you!”

“You know who the hell I am! I need my revenge.” he stared murderously at her.

She did not like his gaze. It was dangerous. It seemed his eyes were gonna stop her from taking in more oxygen. “What silly revenge have you been ranting about?”

“You remember the guy you hit in the presence of the world? You slapped me on the face for the world to see. Now, you claim you don’t know me?” he explained. It was embarrassing recalling that event.

Yeah. He was right. Now, she knew who he was. A guy who wouldn’t let her be. Who pried into her private life and wanted to force his way into her heart. She never gave him that permission and he wasn’t gonna break her rules. “You were embarrassing me. I couldn’t take it anymore.” she paused, rubbed her forehead and then continued with her defense. “You just wouldn’t let me be. Believe me, I never wanted to. I was pushed to the wall by you. I had to bounce back.”

“By hitting me?” he snarled.

“You wouldn’t listen to my words.”

“I loved you and just wanted you to be my girlfriend.”

“And I said I wasn’t interested,” she folded her arms and her lips pouted.

He ran a hand through his hair roughly, “Well all that’s over now. You’re gonna pay.”

“That is the reason you disappeared into thin air?” she asked brusquely.

“I’m gonna have my revenge,” he repeated firmly.

“How the hell am I gonna pay?” she retorted.

“You’ll feel the same pain I did.”

She twisted her lips. “You’re gonna hurt someone you claim to have loved?”

“I did love you.”

“Hell no, you didn’t. It was an obsession and it was getting on my nerves. I had to do something. And I did!”

“An error on your part. You’d regret it.”

“How?” she rolled her eyes.´

“I’ve got a private plane waiting for us. We’re leaving for Paris.”

Purity scoffed. “You can’t do that. I am not going anywhere with you!”

“I can, my darling,” he replied softly.

“You wouldn’t dare,” she ruffled her hair. “How’s that gonna make me pay?”

He roved around her, circling her with each step he took. “In Paris, you’d be my lover. I’d take away your virginity and later on, break up with you for the whle world to see,” he smiled wickedly. “I can be cruel if I wanna be.”

“You are cruel!” she spat out.

“Move it!”

He grabbed hold of her hand, yanking her to his side without being considerate if she was gonna hurt. Securely holding her, he unlocked the door easily.

Purity groaned. The damn door that had refused to open when she wanted to run away. She struggled with Jayden to free herself. It wasn’t working – just like all the other times. She was weak in power when it came to men. But she wasn’t gonna let him humiliate her that way.

Jayden pushed the door open, pulled Purity out and closed it behind him.

“Don’t move!” a voice ordered, stopping him from taking any step.

Episode 103

50

“Jeremy,” Purity gasped, totally amazed. “What is Jeremy doing with a gun?” she rhetorically asked. The shock on her face soon melted into a smile of appreciation. Jeremy had finally come! He was to save her. She was relieved and felt happiniess. She never did stop hoping he’d come for her.

“This is the Jeremy?” Jayden taunted with disgust on his face.

“Shut up!” Jeremy yelled, pointing a gun at him. “One more word and you’d be in hell.” He was trying to be calm. To keep his cool. Seeing Purity brought this feeling of joy, contentment in his heart. The feeling of emptiness and being incomplete withered away. A warm feeling took root in his heart.

Pure hatred, disgust and anger were the feelings he had for the bastard who had taken his princess away from him. He also betrayed his cousin. He was so gonna pay for his crimes.

“Are you alright?” he asked Purity.

“I’m…. I’m……okay. Um, I’m not hurt,” she replied, stuttering. Getting out of Jayden’s arms and being with Jeremy was all she could think of.

“Release her at once!” Jeremy demanded.

“What are you gonna do?” Jayden retorted.

“Shoot.” Jeremy answered sincerely. In reality, he didn’t know how to use a gun. He’d never held one his entire life till Darren handed him one that afternoon. It was his and Purity’s protection. He figured out he had to keep his finger on the trigger, and that he did. Jayden was never gonna find out he was naive when it came guns. Practicing on him wasn’t a bad idea. The desire to kill him increased as each second rolled by.

“Please, don’t shoot,” Purity whimpered. Honestly, she was scared. She had no idea what Jeremy was going to do.

Jayden tightened his hold on Purity. “You can’t do that. You’re not a killer.”

“I could become one.”

“Please,” Purity begged.

“Shut the hell up!” Jayden screamed at her.

“Don’t you talk to her that way!” Jeremy shot at him. Livid with anger, Jeremy thought he was gonna murder him. Put a bullet into his head, sending him where he belonged.

Jayden was unarmed. He had no weapon to fight back with. Regardless of that, he was confident nothing was gonna happen to him. He was still going to achieve his aim – revenge. “My boys will soon send you to the grave. They should be here any moment.”

Jeremy chuckled. “I don’t see any of them. And I’m afraid they won’t be coming. Cyanide. You’re not as smart as they say.”

A look of shock and horror replaced the smiling face of Jayden. At that instant, he regretted not having any weapon.

“If I were you, I’d repsect myself and let her go,” Jeremy exhorted. “You’ve lost this battle. You can never have her. She belongs to me.”

“Never!” Jayden bellowed. Furious, his hands found way on Purity’s neck. He was going to strangle her. No one was going to have her. She’d better die being a virgin.

Purity coughed and put her hands on Jayden’s. She was running out of air, gasping for breath. Water ran out of her eyes. Fear consumed her. Was she gonna die before Jeremy? She tried to speak, it was impossible.

Jeremy lost control of himself. Aggressively, he cocked the gun and pulled the trigger.

*
*
*

“My love,” Jeremy called out, worried. “My darling, are you alright?” he brushed her hair affectionately.

Purity clung on to Jeremy. Gripping him tightly. Letting go wasn’t an option. She was right were she belonged – in his arms. “I’m fine. I missed you. Missed you so much!”

“Missed you too. More than you could ever imagine.”

Purity smiled gleefully. “You’re my hero, Jeremy Broderick. You saved me. I’m never letting you go.”

Jeremy laughed as he listened to her remarks. “You are my sweetheart. I’m not letting go either.” He fastened his hold on her.

“Ahem,” Darren cleared his throat.

Purity and Jeremy freed themselves. They turned to him.

“Just want you all to know that everything’s cool. Jayden’s in the vehicle, Ernest would soon follow. His men too are arrested. You’re not in any danger. Feel free to go home and celebrate.” He grinned. He had just accomplished a mssion. It was a great job.´

Purity threw herself into Darren’s arms, “Thank you, for all you’ve done.”

“You’re welcome.” He let her go. “And Jeremy, that was a nice shot.” He patted him on the shoulder, “See you at home.”

“Thank you, Allan,” Purity said with gratitude. Jeremy would never have rescued her without any of their help,

“Sure. Anything for you,” he winked at Jeremy, “And him. I think I’m gonna be a detective and a doctor.”

They all laughed at Allan’s joke.


>>

Two mountain climbers reached the top of a mountain when one fell into a large crack. 


"Are you ok?", the other one asked. 


"Not really", said the other. 


"Ok I'll drop a rope down so I can pull you up". 


"I can't, my hands are broken" said the other again. 


"Ok then try tying it to your legs."


"I can't my legs are broken." 


"Ok then put it in your mouth and I'll pull you up."


"Ok!"


The man puts it in his mouth and is pulled by the other. Half way up, the one pulling asks "are you ok?" 


The other one answers "yeaaaa..."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-29 15:57:14

344 Views




Read at your own risk! 18+
Title: Betrayed By My Body
Author: Peju Amadi (Repogirl)
Category: Erotica
Episode 1
The pill was clamped tightly between
my thumb and forefinger, suspended
over the glass of juice as I battled with
my conscience.
How could this be wrong when he was
my husband besides goodness knew it
was because I loved him with every
atom of my being, I was doing this.
This was a good thing, I told myself.
If it was such a good thing, why didn’t I
talk to him about it? Why not tell him
everything including what had
happened two weeks back when he had
been away on his trip? He would
understand, wouldn’t he?
Shaking my head, I answered my own
question that he couldn’t handle it, he
couldn’t handle the truth. Kevwe was so
possesive and telling him would only do
more harm. It would be better this way.
Abby, my close friend who was a
pharmacist had assured me that the pill
was to get him so excited he would
perform for longer than he usually did
which was something I was in dire
need for.
Toe curling, mind numbing pleasure, a
feeling so sweet I had not known
existed until a few days ago
when….when I had been rudely
violated against my will…or had it been
against my will?
Could I say it had been against my will
when I had been pretty much into it.
The incident had kept running through
my mind like a video tape on loop but
the annoying part was my skin still
prickled with goose flesh when I
thought about it, when I thought about
the stranger who had expertly
manipulated my body and led me to so
much pleasure.
I wondered who he could be, did he
stay in the neighbourhood and if I’d
been chosen randomly or did he know
me personally? I suspected the latter
because the way he had touched,
fondled, kissed my skin so tenderly and
in such a gentle but demanding
way..he definitely knew me and might
have thought about having me to
himself for a while before making his
move.
At first I had resisted, I had just wanted
to lie still until he was done but truth
be told when his fingers and lips had
began its slow but deliberate
ministrations upon my body, I had
willingly surrendered and given myself
up to him. I doubt there were many red
blooded females who could have
resisted giving in when tortured with
such sweet pleasure.
Now, how could I tell Kevwe, my
husband and the man who I deeply was
in love with, that I had been sweetly
ravaged by a stranger and had loved
every moment of it? It would destroy
him, absolutely kill him to know I
preferred a stranger’s touch to his. It
wasn’t even fair to him if to keep
replaying it in my mind and I needed
to get rid of the thoughts in my head
quickly before he became suspicious.
With a resigned sigh I let the pill drop
into the drink, stirring it softly with a
spoon and watching it dissolve. This
was for the best, I reaffirmed.
And if after the pill he still didn’t
perform as well as I need? I wondered
briefly but that was a risk I had to take.
Kevwe wasn’t an awful lover, he was a
tall and attractive virile young man
who I was attracted to but the problem
was s-x with him ended too soon and
he never took the time to tease my
body into arousal. I had never minded
before, not until I had erupted with
sheer pleasure beneath the stranger’s
touch.
Picking up the tray and turning
around, I decided it was time to do this
when I saw Kevwe standing in the
doorway, shirtless with a curious
expression on his features.
“Jesus,” I exclaimed in shock as the
glass rattled on the tray, it was a
marvel that I didn’t drop it. My mind
raced as I wondered if he had seen me
drop the pill. “You scared me, Kevwe.
How long have you been standing
there?”
“A while,” his baritone voice boomed as
his gaze held suspicion. “Long enough
to see you drop something in my
drink….what was that pill, Onome?”
“What? I didn’t….” I began but he cut
me off.
“I saw you clearly so don’t even think
about lying.” He said stepping into the
room, still staring at me with such
distrust and suspicion.
I quivered stepping back reflexively but
my back only bumped into the kitchen
cabinet, my heart beat increased
slightly in tempo. There was no where
to run and I had to face this head on.
d--n it, what had I done? How could I
explain this?
I set the tray back on the counter
hoping to buy some time knowing fully
well I was in deep s--t here and my
next words might bury me deeper into
it.
“I put an aspirin in it because I heard
you complain….” I began but he didn’t
let me finish. Holding up his hand to
stop my badly concocted lie, my voice
trailed off.
“Onome..you know I can spot your lies
easily but still you choose to lie? You
want to me dead, don’t you?” He
suddenly asked, his voice raised and I
became afraid that the neighbours
would hear him. I didn’t want anyone
else dragged into this mess I had
created.
“I … I can explain, it wasn’t to kill you,
Kevwe please…” I begged but he was
now too riled to listen.
“Explain what? That you poisoned my
drink? That you planned to end my
life?”
“No, no, I would never. You know I love
you, my heart.. you know….” I tried but
he wasn’t listening.
“I don’t know anything, I only know
what I saw and I saw that you want to
kill me, since you put a strange pill into
my drink and you are lying about it…
The neighbours must hear this, the
whole street must hear this!”

Should I continue? If there are no comments and likes, I won't continue.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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1) Her phone hardly rings in your presence: Yes! Funny as it sounds, it is true. It is a tactful act that you should be a aware of…’your’ girl (everybody’s friend) could be the disloyal type. If she switches off her phone, you might suspect so she might put an old sim card that no one calls to disguise as a ‘good girl’ in your presence. This is an expo…if you notice something like this too often when she visits, try to call her number on your phone and see if it goes. If it doesn’t, don’t try to bother her on why she is using another sim she didn’t tell you about!!! Just know she is the disloyal type! You have an option…you can get up and dust your Buttocks to save yourself further stress!!!

2) She disappears during festive periods: If you are dating a Nigerian babe and she is fond of disappearing during festive times such as Christmas, New Year, Valentine’s Day, Easter, Eide-Kabir, etc, just know she is the disloyal type. She fake herself to be so busy during these times and absolutely make herself unavailable to you! She’s probably in the warm hands of another man who she feels can cater for her expensive taste and needs during the celebration season!!! Young man, you have no business with such a lady! I thought festive seasons were meant to be enjoyed together with friends and loved ones o:

3) She uses baseless excuses to explain her unavailability: Disloyal ladies hardly spend quality time with you except they stand to gain one material benefit or the other from you! To you, you are in a relationship. To them, it is ‘business’ as usual! . They always put the blame on rain, too much sunshine, breeze, traffic, friend’s wedding, etc, to avoid meeting with you but just tell her to come and collect a large sum of money you promised her and she will happily take the next available cab even if the whole rain in China, Vietnam and Cambodia combined is nothing compared to the rain pouring in the area where she resides!!! . Observe watchfully, bro!

4) She is so familiar with the joints you have taken her to and the regular male visitors there: She would know the prices of the range of drinks they have and the amounts they sell the ranges of foods they have in these places!!! She attracts ‘funny’ eye contacts and body languages from male folks around often and she sometimes wave at them when you act as if you are not looking! . How did she come to know about these places and what they offer if she hasn’t been taken to these places by different men on several occassions?

5) She spends your money but you can never see her penny: If she is the type that keeps her 20k to feast on your little 5k, just see her as disloyal! I wonder how some young men spend hugely on ladies who have never bought them a boxers or singlet before! Relationship is give and take. If she gives you s*x and nothing more for the financial benefits she gets from you, then she’s a pros!!! If not, what’s the transaction between a guy and a pros? Money for hand=back for ground . After all, who yansh dor help abeg!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-18 12:06:34

822 Views




I cant stop laffin...
A girl in her sleep was dreaming. She dreamt dat she was
engaged,
still in her sleep,she was getin
married to d same lucky man. After d wedding,she became
pregnant and was rushed 2 d delivery room and d nurse
ask her 2 push. She pushed and delivered a baby but d
nurse told her it was still remaining,she pushd and
delivered d second baby, and she was told it was still
remaining anoda baby. As she was trying to push d third
baby out,her room mate shouted juliana
wakeup!...U don shit full for bed.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-28 00:03:08

2125 Views



Good samaritan [Read it]


A man walks into work with two black eyes. His boss asks what happened. The man says, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye." "Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asks. "Well," the man says, "I figured she preferred it in the crack, so I pushed it back in."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-19 10:12:38

430 Views




Mealmost cryin)wat do u want from me?
Niky:i just came to say hi
Me:thanx for coming,u can now go
Niky:are chasing me
Me:no am not
Niky:better,i guest i should be going
Me:bye
Niky:bye
Wat does she want,after everything she still heva the guts to come back.
Wait this isn't Gerald,he has never stayed out this late.Gush he's not picking up my calls.
I think am fidgeting,oh my God i hope he's ok wherever he is right now,this is 11pm and he's not back,wat am i goin to do.
Cilia:madam wake up
Me:ah my head ache
Cilia:wetin u talk
Me:get me the first aid box
****
Gerald:why did u come back
Niky:i can't continue hidding,and beside she is fine now
Gerald:i knw but it's risky
Niky:i just want to see u
Geraldk am fine u can go now
Niky:why u love her don't u?
Gerald:thats the last thing i'll do
Niky:so why do u want me to leave
Gerald:dunno
Niky:fine i'll leave not until u satisfy me
Gerald:i have to go
Niky:make me feel like a woman
Gerald:am sorry i can't
Niky:make love to me
Gerald:u knw ur irresistable..

>>

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, “I`ll have a C monkey please.”

The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, “That`ll be $5000.”

The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, “That was a very expensive monkey. The cost of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?”

The shopkeeper answered, “Ah, that monkey can program in C; very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money.”

The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage.

“That one`s even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?”

“Oh, that one s a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff,” said the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000.

He gasped to the shopkeeper, “That one costs more than all the other put together! What on earth does it do?”

The shopkeeper replied, “Well, I haven`t actually seen it do anything, but it says it`s a Project Manager.”Related

Side Effects [Read it]


The doctor gave Akpos some drugs to use and Akpos started cutting the sides.
                                 
Doctor: Akpos why are you cutting the sides?           
Akpos: To avoid side effects


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-25 21:13:20

355 Views




1st Semester Exams For All 100 level student`s
Course: Love Mathematics.
Course code: LMS111
All questions carry equal marks.
Time allowed: 2hrs, 30 minutes.

1. If a girl is in love for 10 years and at the end, the guy breaks up with her, WHAT is the formula for calculating such love and time wasted?

2. As a guy, you dated more than 7 chicks at a time. Using the Almighty Formula, CALCULATE the expenses and loss in handling all of them?

3. In not more than 10 pages, STATE the difference between Orobo (fat) girls and Lekpa (skinny) girls.

4. With the aid of a labelled diagram, DRAW and EXPLAIN the term "Ukwu". (Question 5- For girls only)

5. Using Laws of indices, CALCULATE the disappearance of your boyfriend whenever you demand for an iPhone

6. (Question 6- For boys only.) 6. You send an airtime worth #1500 to your girlfriend and she sends you a `Please call me I Love You` text. CALCULATE the profit and Loss of the airtime being sent and use the proportional ratio to attain the equation and state the location of the airtime sent.

7. You broke up with your girl because of Christmas gifts, etc. Using quadratic equation, CALCULATE how long it`ll take you to get her back in January.

8. As a guy, you are dating other people`s sister, but you don`t want any other guy to date your sister. CALCULATE the percentage of your foolishness and wicked behaviour. (Take pie =3.14)

9. When you check a Facebook profile, 99% of guys are single as their marital status states, and 100% of the girls are dating, engaged, in a relationship or married. BRIEFLY explain who they are all dating in not less than two sentences. N/B- Attempt all question to avoid carry-over! GOODLUCK!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-26 07:52:45

593 Views




What’s the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?

Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?Related

Teacher said; The 1st person to answer my question
will go home early.
Akpos Threw His Bag Outside.
Teacher asked; Whose bag is that?.
Akpos answered; It's mine. Bye!
One word for Akpos.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-13 20:32:06

338 Views




I came back home late in the evening as usual, I tip-toed to
the kitchen to begin my daily routine of indomie and bread
theft. I walked gently into the sitting room after
accomplishing my mission, I found my father sitting there.
Suprised, I gaped at him, when did he come back?
"Baami," I shrieked before jumping into his arms.
"Hey, my little princess, omo mi atata." He patted my head.
"welcome Baami, I missed you ooo, when did you come
back?"
"This morning" He smiled, my father is too handsome.
"why are you just coming back from school by this time?" he
queried.
I racked my brain hard
"Errm, Baami, you know the distance from school, its too
far, I have to trek, and besides we are having extra lessons
in school" I explained.
"Liar!" maria said
"aah! Maami, you know I won't lie now." I quickly said,
whats wrong with this winchy sef.
"other children in this area came back home since 2pm.."
she began
"I was singled out now, you know, errm, we...errm, we'll be
going for a competition very soon." I scratched my head.
"Its alright, just make sure you come home early, okay?" My
father patted my head.
"You've become so lean Teju, what happened?" he looked
me all over.
I looked at Maria, she looked visibly scared, I might give her away.
"No..Baami, I'm missing you that's why." I laughed.
"Come and sit on my laps, omo mi atata." he pulled me
towards him.
I sat down on his laps with a wide grin. "Tejumola omo
baba re"
I glanced at maria, she looked jealous.
"Maami, why are you looking at me like that?"
"Don't mind your mother, she's jealous." My father said
before leading me to my room.
****************
Things went on well, both in school and at home, no more
qualms.
David was writting his S.S.C.E examination, we're still the
best of friends.
One day after his afternoon paper, we were sitted in an
empty class room, discussing nothing important when he
suddenly said
"Teju, very soon, I'd be leaving school, I would further my
education abroad..." he hesistated.
"That means, I won't get to see you everyday anymore." he
added with a pained expression.
"hmmm" "hmmm? Is that all you'd say? You won't miss me I
guess." he said placing an arm round my shoulder.
I laughed. He sounded funny, miss who?
"have I ever told you, how beautiful you look when you
laugh?" He brought his face closer to mine.
I blushed furiously, though I'm dark in complexion so it
wasn't visible.
"I love you Teju." he whispered.
One thing led to another and we started kissing...




NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpors d mumu [Read it]


JUST LAUGH: AKPORS
AGAIN ?
» Posted ?
A small boy named Akpors lived in a village in
Delta
state. None of his classmates liked him because
of
his stupidity. In fact, his teacher always yelled at
him saying, ‘You this waste of space, you will
never
amount to anything in life! One day Akpors’
mother
came to school to check on how he was doing.
The
teacher told her quite frankly that she had never
seen such a dumb boy in all her life, and advised
his mother to withdraw and enroll him under a
handcrafter because formal schooling for Akpors
would be a total waste of time and space! The
mother was shocked at the feedback, withdrew
her
son from the school and moved to Benin City.
Twenty-five years later the teacher was
diagnosed
with a brain tumour. All the doctors she met
strongly advised her to do surgery – one which
only
one doctor in the whole of South-southern
Nigeria
could perform. Left with no other option the
teacher
opted for surgery, which was successful. When
she
opened her eyes in the ICU hours after surgery,
she
saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her. She
wanted to thank him but could not talk. Suddenly
her face started to turn blue, she frantically made
attempts to raise her hand and tell him
something…
until she died. The doctor was shocked; he tried
to
find out what went wrong. Eventually he found
out
that it was our friend Akpors – now working as a
cleaner in the hospital – who had disconnected
the
ventilator to connect his phone charger! Like,
seriously? You thought that Akpors became the
doctor? Not in this story







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-03 18:38:14

673 Views




A middle aged man met his secondary school mate at a
filling station, they exchanged pleasantries. The school mate
was dressed in a french suit and was driving a hummer
jeep. The man was amazed and asked his friend what job
he was doing, the friend replied that he was a pastor and
asked him to give his life to Jesus for things to go well for
him. The man collected his complimentary card.
On getting home, he decides to be a pastor so as to amass
wealth. Luckily for him on getting out the next day, he sees
a vacancy for the post of an assistant pastor in front of a
church. He immediately applied and the interview was
conducted immediately.
The interview went thus:
The church: Give us your full name, surname first.
The man: Brown, Peter Samson
The church: Give us a verse in the New Testament and give
a message on it for three minutes.
The man: Turn your legs to one side, do not kill that insect
for you cannot create insects.
The Church: Give us another verse before you preach.
The man: Twinkle, twinkle little star. How above thy,
The Church: ( Interrupts) where can we find the two verses
in the Bible?
The Man:The first one is in chapter Romans Verse John, the
second is in chapter Romans verse Corinthians.
The Church: Before you applied for this job, you must have
been a worker in God’s vineyard. Tell us the job you were
doing in the vineyard?
The Man: Barman, experience, one year. I can carry four
bottles of beer and four glass cups all together in my hand
and none will fall.
The Church: It is okay. Come tomorrow for the result!
WHAT SHOULD HIS RESULT BE?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-25 09:38:34

1697 Views





Akpos, a bus driver, was driving from Ozoro to Lagos. He had a sticker at the back of the bus which said: He will give his angels charge over thee.

By the time he got to Warri, he was driving at a high speed of 135km/hr. His passengers cautioned him, but he simply responded, Haven’t you seen the sticker at the back of the car? Angels are on guard.”
Akpos got to Benin on a very high speed of 185km/hr.

By this time many passengers were frightened and decided to alight. They got down and Akpos continued the journey to Lagos alone.

He said to himself, “Faithless people, they don’t believe angels are on guard.”

On getting to Ore, he was comfortably cruising at a very, very high speed of 215km/hr when he heard shouts inside the bus” “Akpos, drop us! Drop us! We cannot continue this journey.”

A shocked Akpos turned around and didn’t see anybody. “Where are these voices coming from? I dropped all the passengers at Benin. Who are those talking?”
The people replied; Akpos, drop us now. We are the angels on guard, but this trip is becoming a suicide mission. We can’t be part of it.”

(Akpos drove into Lagos slowly, at a reasonable speed of 35km/hr).


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-19 11:11:10

184 Views




Ek Din Ek Nokrani Ko Ghar Ki Safaai Karte Waqt Condom Mila, Toh Vo Condom Maalkin Ko Dikhate Hue Boli.

Ye Kya Hai Bibi Ji?

Maalkin: Kyun Tere Gaon Mein Log Sex Nahi Karte Hai Kya?

Bai: Karte To Hai Par Itne Zor Zor Se Bhi Nahi Karte Ki Khaal Hi Utar Jaye.Related

Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it!Related

Post Body There was a cook named Chico. His master had visitors for dinner and Chico was told to fry a crane. Chico felt hungry and so he ate one leg of the crane.

At dinnertime, when the master saw a missing leg, he shouted, "Chico! Why does this crane have only one leg?" Chico replied, "Sir, haven't you seen cranes before? They only have one leg!" To teach Chico a lesson, next morning, his master took him to the pond nearby. Chico exclaimed, "Look, Master! Cranes have only one leg!" The master clapped his hands and all the cranes uncurled their other legs and flew away. "You fool! Did you see they have two legs!" cried the master. Clever Chico replied, "Sir, why didn't you clap your hands at the table? You would have got two legs!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-06 09:07:56

209 Views




On a rainy day, an old man was standing with a book for sale.

A young man came to buy. He bought a book for #1000. There were lightening followed by thunder when he touched the first page of the book.

The old man advised "DON'T OPEN LAST PAGE OF THE BOOK" otherwise you will face lot of problems.

The young man finished reading the book with great fear but didn't open the last page.

But, after a week, out of curiosity he opened the last page and he almost fainted when he saw

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Retail Price: #100


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-10 11:18:16

370 Views



POLITICS [Read it]


“A small boy asks his Dad, "Daddy, what is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father having sex with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit.”


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-13 17:11:48

265 Views



school Days [Read it]


OKON: I saw a strap of your bra.
TEACHER: Okon Get out! No class for you for a week!
[Another Boy laughs]
TEACHER: Why did you laugh?
BOY: I saw both straps of d bra.
TEACHER: Get out! No class for you for 1 month!
[Teacher bends down to pick chalk & Akpos started walking out]
TEACHER: Akpos, why are you going out?
AKPOS: What I saw just now, I think my school days are over!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-09 11:27:08

195 Views



proudly naija [Read it]


Man died and went to hell, there he
finds
that
there are different hells for each
country, he
decides to go round and choose the
least
painful to spend his eternity. He goes
to the
German Hell and ask, “what do they
do
here”
He is told ” first they put you in an
Electric
Chair for an Hour, then lay you on a
Bed of
Nails for another Hour, then the
German
Devil
comes in and Whip…s you for the rest
of the
day.
The Man does not like the sound of
that at
all
so he moves on. He checks out the
USA,UK,
RUSSIAN Hells as well as many more.
He
discovers that they are all similar to
the
German Hell. Then he comes to the
Nigerian
Hell
and finds that there is a Long Queue
of
people
waiting to get in… Amazed, he ask,
“what do
they do here ?” He is told “First they
put you
in
an Electric Chair for an hour, and then
they
lay you on a bed of nails for another
hour
then
Nigerian Devil comes in and Whips
you for
the
Rest of the Day.” But that is exactly
the same
as all the other hells, why are there
so many
people waiting to get in ?” ask the
man… A
concern fellow calls him aside and
said,
“Because there is never any STABLE
ELECTRICITY so the Electric Chair
doesn’t
work.
The nails were paid for but were
never
SUPPLIED by the Contractor, so the
Bed is
Comfortable to sleep on… And the
Nigerian
Devil
used to be a CIVIL SERVANT, so he
comes in,
signs his time sheet and leave for
Personal
Business !!!....imagine


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-28 20:37:45

433 Views




Charmer:::: Hello Sweet Girl
Sweetgirl:::: Hi Lover Boy!
Charmer:::: Can I know you more please?
Sweetgirl:::: 17, female, sweet lips, bootylicious n’
delicious, live in Avondale and you?
Charmer:::: Mmmmmh, I am in love already.
I’m 52, male, 6 pack, big Chest, live in Avondale.
Sweetgirl:::: You’re 52? OMG! Serious. Same age
as my dad?
Charmer:::: I’m just so into fresh young beautiful
girls.
Sweetgirl:::: Do you have a wife?
Charmer:::: Yes, but not as sexy as you, I have a
daughter, she is in her bedroom with her friend
doing homework.
Sweetgirl:::: Then why do you like young girls?
Charmer:::: I love them because they are
beautiful not to mention sexy n’ wit fresh boobs
n’ booty
Sweetgirl:::: I am also into older men with
iPhones, ipads, cash and driving expensive cars.
Charmer:::: I can offer all of that and even more.
Sweetgirl:::: I think we shud meet because
you are in Avondale and I am also here.
Charmer:::: That would be nice, where do I pick
you up tomorrow with my new BMW X6 sexy girl?
Sweetgirl:::: Tomorrow I am going to school it
won’t be possible.
Charmer:::: Or maybe over the weekend,
going to school is very important. Sweetgirl::::
While still chatting letme continue with my
homework I don’t want my dad to know that i
have a BlackBerry, he will be mad at me.
Charmer:::: Which homework is that? may be I
can assist you. Sweetgirl:::: It’s a Biology
assignment and my friend Lucy is assisting me.
Charmer:::: Hey, your friend’s name is Lucy?
Sweetgirl:::: Yes.
Charmer:::: Exactly where in Avondale are
you? Sweetgirl:::: House number 5 and you?
Charmer:::: Mercy!!! is that you
Sweetgirl:::: Dad, is that you
Wahalaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Who is to
blame?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-21 11:27:54

421 Views




Teacher :Can a woman make you a millionaire?

Akpos: Yes..when your are already a billionaire




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-02 14:34:44

854 Views



Akpos and his X [Read it]


Akpos was in a restaurant when his phone
rang.
He picked it up and said; Hello! Who is this?
The voice said; Akpos it`s me Jane your ex
girlfriend. You just forgot about me o.
No, how can you say such, is you that
forgot about me na, you ran away from
me....Akpos said.
That`s that. Akpos you are enjoying o....Jane
teased.
Akpos said; Yes o. I`m on BB now.
Jane screamed; You mean it. I want to be
on BB like you o.
Akpos said; Ok.
Jane said; Today is my birthday, so what will
you buy for me.
Akpos said; You mean today is your
birthday. I didn`t know o. Okay don`t worry
i`m coming with your BB in an hour`s time.
Jane said okay and ends the call.
An hour later there was a knock on her
door, she opened it and it was Akpos
holding a black nylon bag.
She said; Wow! I guess that`s the BB.
Akpos said yes.
I can`t wait to see it and ping....concurr ed
Jane.
She wanted to grab it but Akpos said she
should not be in a hurry that when he
wants to go, he`ll give it to her.
Akpos spent some few minutes with her,
gave her the bag and was about to go.
She wanted to open it but this time Akpos
shunned her saying; Don`t open it now,
come and accompany me to the road first,
when you come back, you open it.
The excited Jane said okay and
accompanied Akpos.
And he left.
Later in the day Akpos received a phone call.
Hello! Who is this?...asked Akpos.
The voice said; Akpos It`s me Rukayat,
Jane`s roommate. Jane has fainted o.
How manage?....aske d Akpos.
Rukayat said; When she opened the black
nylon bag you gave to her, she discovered it
is Beans and Bread that is inside.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-22 14:49:02

714 Views




A bakery in okon village held a competition. Okon emerged the winner and won 100 breads.
That was how okon became a bread winner.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-13 19:37:46

559 Views




hmm life is cruel sometimes, eg Lagos to Abuja is 9 hours drive, Abuja to Lagos also 9 hours drive. first floor to second floor is 14 stairs, second floor to first floor is also 14 stairs. January to December, but why is December to January only 1 month ?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-28 21:08:45

364 Views



School Play [Read it]


A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trapdoor and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through.

The play was well received. But, when the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge... but he became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend.

Then one student in the balcony jumped up and yelled, "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-14 20:28:25

570 Views




Finally, fuel will be sold at 60 Naira per
litter from Friday!!
I new it!
President Buhari made it clear 2 hours
ago on a private interview in Aso Rock, that fuel
will be sold at 60 Naira per
litter starting from Friday 22nd
April, 2016.
President Buhari also said
that, the issue of Naira falling in value
will be resolved in less than a week, he
made it clear that by the time the naira issue is
resolved, 60 Naira will = 1
Dollar and that will be in 3 weeks from now, it
will become one Naira - one Dollar.
President Buhari also said that he
promised to change Nigeria at the right
time and that right time is now.
He also
wanted to talk about
corruption, but my Tv exploded
immediately after he mentioned the
Word, "Corruption" and that was when
I woke up and discovered that it was all
a Dream. I sincerely apologize for playing with
your emotions... #Starry G.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-18 22:21:11

471 Views




Lord Vishwakarma is the divine crafts man, sculptor, architect & engineer of the Gods;

And also the creator of the universe.

May Lord Vishwakarma always bless you.

Happy Vishwakarma Day!Related

I still remember me and her together dreaming of how we both will endup being together with our children and great grandchildren but, unfortunately a tragedy occurred that almost gave me a terrible heart attack, Onyema my love was raped by unknown men on her way to church one Monday morning, but still yet i overlooked it all because of my great love for her, to me she was my joy, happiness and source of inspiration, i wake up every morning and thankGod because of her""" two months after she was raped we got married only to discover that she was already two months pregnant as a result of the Rape, i accepted her regardless of insults from family and friends,,,,,,,,,,,, but ten years after our marriage they was still no issue between us both although i accepted her child as if it were mine, until one faithful afternoon when a man dress on native with a prado jeep drove to my house in search of me and my wife, i noticed something strange because immediately he came into my house the countenance of my wife changed," it was then that he told me how he and my wife Onyema had been seeing each other at my back so many years ago, he also had been married for years without an issue but he remember being told by my wife that he got her pregnant, at first i taught i was dreaming but after 10mins i regain myself back, this time my wife's eyes were just soaked in tears and i can tell from her expression that it's all true""" I never imagined in life that Onyema would have broken my heart this way""" i had no option than to let the child go to his real father because one day he will eventually find out the truth, well as for Onyema i divorced her few weeks after the shocking revelation since then i have been alone in shock with regrets all night long, i have also made a vow never to fall in love again because love is very very wicked""""" everyday i ask myself why me but have come to the conclusion that some of us were not destined to fall in love. that's my sad little story


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-10 00:30:38

637 Views







The following conversation ensued between Akpos and his teacher in class: Teacher: One day Nigeria will be corruption free. What tense is that? AKPOS: Future Impossible Tense!
(Teacher immediately slaps Akpos)

The train was travelling along when a beautiful young woman entered the compartment which was deserted except for Santa reading his paper.

Santa peered over his paper and asked “Would you let me f**k you for a fifty rupee?”

“Certainly not!” exclaimed young lady, and Santa returned to his paper.

A short while later Santa looked across again and said “Would you let me f**k you for ten thousand rupees?”

After a brief pause, the woman replied “yes, I suppose I would.”

Again Santa returned to his newspaper. A few minutes later Santa asked “Would you let me f**k you for Rs 20?”

“Certainly not!” replied the young woman, getting angry now “What kind of girl do you take me for?”

“We`ve already established that” replied Santa, “We`re just haggling over the price!”Related


She was from a wealthy and highly respected family. Her father happened to be one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the country, with multiple business interests around the world.

Brenda never lacked anything, except friends. All the people around her were either opportunists or the few she could actually rely on were not comfortable in her company.

This made her unhappy. She needed friends she could confide in. But her money couldn’t buy that.

The only way she thought she could get what she wanted was to go back to school under a disguise.

She had already finished with her first degree in the UK yet she was willing to embark on this mission. Brenda applied and eventually gained admission into a local University.

She was completely on her own though. She had to pay the fees and other bills from her personal savings, as the venture was a secret she was keeping from her father, who wasn’t even aware she was back in the country.

She had to go to school using public transport, leaving behind luxurious cars that she owned. She rented a room close to school and bought some dresses to look like a regular student.

Finally resumption day came… It was time for her very first lecture and all fresh students gathered at the lecture hall waiting for class to begin.

The atmosphere was filled with tension, as they were all new to the tertiary system.

They hardly knew themselves. Brenda had not arrived yet; she was running late on her first day on campus…
She did that on purpose, because she wanted to be noticed as she entered the class.

Soon the lecturer arrived and the class began.

Brenda made her grand entry while lectures were ongoing.

Indeed, all the students noticed her, as she looked very charming even in her simple and regular dress.

Continue reading Full Episode 1 and Episode 2 here..
Click

JOKE (OTHER BOYS VS DINDY) BY DINDY (part one)
What other boys see when they look at a girl;
1). Pretty face
2). Beautiful skin
3). Big ass
4). Big breast
5). Awesome shape.
What Dindy see when he looks at a girl
1). Bleaching cream
2). Fake hair
3). Shawama finger nails
4). Fake eyebrows
5). Hidden stretch marks
6). Too much make-up
7). Fake endowment
. Fake eyelashes
9). Black lips.
10). Fake curves.
And so many other things you can't even imagine.....lol
#DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-09-17 16:36:52

234 Views




Stephanie: do you know what MR Nike did?
Anita: i don't know;am not in your department
Stephanie: he is bet on frustrating me
Anita: but why would he want to do that?when he knows that the rector already know about the issue
Tina: sometimes i wonder why would lecturers like their student;even when they are married?
Anita: that is the point they are not contended with what they have. they just want to satisfy themselves and make those single student their victim
Stephanie: but what can someone like offer them?
Anita: you don't know you have a lot to?
Stephanie: and do you is nee way of frustrating is by telling people that i am having an affair with the rector
Anita: what a scandal
Stephanie: and i have never dated any boy talk more of an old man
Georgina: will you keep quiet?you had never dated any boy?so what is it that you had with my Desmond?

Anita: Georgina;please stop;this afternoon is too hot for that
Georgina: i am not talking to you,so stay off my case(to Anita)and you;pretending to be some sort of saint in the midst of sinner,will you be able to swear that you are still a virgin?come on;go ahead and tell everyone
Stephanie: you are sick
Georgina: i know i am sick but just go ahead and tell everyone here that you are a virgin even after dating my betroth (she didn't speak a word)
Tina: answer her to clarify yourself. are you one?
Georgina: why would she?when she know that;i know too much (exit Georgina)
Tina: if i were you;i would have told her the truth
Stephanie: Tina;Tina just keep quiet
Tina: i should keep quiet;cause i asked you to tell her the truth?
Anita: lets forget about this issue before we start a fight in someone else house
Tina: we are both saying same thing,i want her to tell Georgina the truth,so we can have peace of mind in this house
Stephanie: i don't get it;don't we have a home?even if armed men attack someone in his house,will he run away from his house?not at all. so why don't we go back to our house and have our privacy?instead of living like a beggar
Tina: do you not know you are the cause?
Tina: sometime;you talk foolishly. how am i the cause?was i the one that told those men to visit us?no. then you tell me;my fault?

Tina: don't you know those men came to look you?mark you they did not collected anything from us. if they did;why is everyone phone with them;their laptops;i thought you are intelligent,i don't know you are such a dull girl. that is why Anita and Ann can push you around and you should be grateful that this people are willing to accept you and put their life in danger. when you are not even related to them by blood
Stephanie: will you just stop
Tina: no need to tell me that;i am already done(exit Tina)
Anita: don't just mind that girl
Stephanie: is there something you are not telling me
Anita: i told you everything;right?
Stephanie: is what Tina just said the truth?
Anita: you know....(she cut her short)
Stephanie: just answer yes or no
Anita: fine yes but you are not putting us in danger(she hold her)just listen to me;what i am saying is the truth
Stephanie: (she pull herself from her)Anita;you don't have to explain anything;i understand(she walked outside and hit the table outside)i hate you;i detest everyone in this world(she screamed)
Desmond: are you alright?

Stephanie: i am fine(she wiped her tears)what are you doing here?have you been standing here that long?
Desmond: not really
Stephanie: alright then;later,i will just go ahead
Desmond: (he hold her hand)what is eating you up?
Stephanie: nothing;i am just stress up
Desmond: you and i know that is a lie. sit,i am ready to listen
Stephanie: are you sure?
Desmond: yes;i am sure(they both sit)you can tell me now
Stephanie: do you think there is anyone that will want me dead?
Desmond: i don't think so
Stephanie: then why did they tell me;that those gunmen that came to our house,want to kill me
Desmond: that was what i heard but i don't think Anita;will tell you such a lie. don't worry it will be well,i will help you look for those men
Stephanie: you don't have to. if that is the case,i want to go home
Desmond: you don't have to go. what if something happen to you?
Stephanie: nothing will happen to me. even if something happen to me,i didn't dragged anyone into my problem
Desmond: are you sure that is what you want?
Stephanie: yes;that is what i want and please don't say no
Desmond: alright;i will take you home
Stephanie: thank you;i will just go and get my things(curtain)

Tosan: there is nothing like your own
Tina: did you mean you didn't enjoy that house?
Tosan: nobody will say we were not treated like a queen there
Tina: then why were you complaining?
Anita: once you leave your house to someone else's,you are not always comfortable even if you are treated like a queen;it is just normal with everyone
Ann: that is just the fact
Tina: i wish we don't have to cone back to this house
Ann: why?
Tina: in that house;we don't do anything;you woke up,food is ready,your room is clean and even your dirty clothes is also been washed. who wouldn't like that;no one
Anita: is not everyone because there are people that are not as lazy as you
Tina: now you want to insult me
Anita: anyway;i did enjoyed it
Tosan: they caught you there(laughed all)
Anita: mummy;are you alright?(to Stephanie)
Stephanie: my daughter;i am fine
Tosan: you are such a naught girl
Stephanie: what did i do wrong?is she not my daughter?
Anita: so i am now your daughter?
Stephanie: are you too big to be my daughter or am i too small to be your mother?
Anita: both of them(she hit Stephanie with her purse)take your time
Stephanie: hey;that hurt
Anita: what were you thinking?that i am going to let you go with those words(they laughed)
Ann: both of you are crazy(phone ringing)madam with the new phone your phone is ringing
Stephanie: i know i didn't asked you to tell me;small gossip(laughed all)is Desmond,why is he calling me?
Ann: you pick up and know why
Stephanie: alright but you like gossip too much
Ann: when i will slap you. come on pick it
Stephanie: it has stop ringing;sorry he is calling back(she pick the call)hello;good morning
Desmond: sorry if i bothered you. do you have any plans for today?
Stephanie: not really but i am thinking of going to the library
Desmond: can you do me a favour
Stephanie: which is?
Desmond: can you come to house?
Stephanie: why
Desmond: my sister is coming and i have a class and there is no one at home;except ma Brown;i don't know if you can keep her company when i am away?

Stephanie: why don't you asked Georgina
Desmond: i would have but both of them,don't get along well
Stephanie: then why do you think both of us will get along
Desmond: don't you want to help me?if you don't want,i can just stay at home and forget about my test
Stephanie: is alright;i will
Desmond: alright thanks. bye(he end the call)

Ann: what did he say?(Stephanie look at her and laughed)i know what is on your mind(laughed all)
Stephanie: anywaysesmond said his sister is coming and he want me to keep her company till he return
Anita: and you said yes
Stephanie: sure
Tina: what if his sister doesn't like you
Stephanie: that is one thing i am scare of
Tina: i don't think you are scared. if you are;you wouldn't have accepted
Stephanie: what do you expect me to do
Tina: to say no
Stephanie: hmm
Tina: yes
Stephanie: anyway;i have to go. goodbye babes (curtain)


Blessing: hello;anyone at home
Stephanie: welcome
Blessing: thanks
Stephanie: how was your trip
Blessing: it was fine and stressful;i don't even know what is wrong with that cabman. he drive in an annoying way
Stephanie: that is how most of the cabmen in this town behavior. anyway my name is Stephanie
Blessing: sorry pardon my bad manners. my name is Blessingesmond younger sister;nice to meet you. so you are the girl that my mom said my brother is having an affair with before now or are you still dating him
Stephanie: not at all
Blessing: better;if not i would had just blind your eyes
Stephanie: what(she became scared and frown)
Blessing: hey young lady(she sat down)loosen up;a woman doesn't need to frown(she dragged Stephanie's nose)don't be naught;i am just kidding(they both laughed)
Stephanie: you are no difference from your brother
Blessing: that is why he is my brother
Stephanie: let me get you juice or will you prefer rice
Blessing: you are such a darling. i want both(exit and return with both)
Stephanie: here it is
Blessing: thank you;you are really a darling. where is my brother(she eat up)
Stephanie: he has a test;so he asked me to come and keep you company
Blessing: thank God;he didn't leave me all alone in this house. i would had cut off his ear(they both laughed)anyway;thank you;you have fed me well. do you know i missed home made food back then in the state;they only know how to give food like grass and to get African dishes is expensive(both laughed)
Stephanie: but you do enjoyed it
Blessing: for sure;that is what we black always say when we are been asked(laughing continue)but all those are lies;big white fat lies
Stephanie: please don't kill me
Blessing: why would i kill my brother's fiancee
Stephanie: i am just a friend to you brother nothing more

Blessing: hey(she scattered Stephanie's hair)baby loosen up;this is the second time i am telling you this,a woman is suppose to be smiling at all time(she laughed) to avoid wrinkle
Stephanie: funny you
Blessing: can i asked you a question?
Stephanie: sure you can
Blessing: when my brother approach you;what did he tell you because i know my brother,he doesn't like talking to girls and he like to stay on his own;he live in world of his own. no female friends. so now tell me;what did he say?
Stephanie: nothing(he stared at Blessing)what is it with the look?
Blessing: is because i know you are lying. tell me;don't be shy
Stephanie: you are one of a kind. now;you tell me what is it like in the state?

Blessing: life in Spain is fun but sometimes it is difficult to live in the same hostel with white and just few blacks like you and when you get to class;you turn your left you see whites and your right same thing and sometimes;you will feel that the ground should open and shallow you
Stephanie: but they don't discriminate?
Blessing: that is good thing about them. is only girl that had that attitude;the day we both had an issue;do you know what i did to her?i just used my dialect to insult her and she kept saying what?what are you saying and everyone kept laughing
Stephanie: (she laughed)you are such a joke
Blessing: me from Nigeria allow that white fish to put me black monkey down?no wat(laughing)never
Desmond: what is the laughter all about?i hope you are not talking about me?
Blessing: why should we be talking about you?

Stephanie: welcome
Desmond: thank you
Blessing: and who said;she is telling you welcome?
Desmond: but it is obvious
Blessing: is he the one you are telling welcome
Stephanie: why would i




SEE MORE....


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The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless.

-Nicolas ChamfortRelated

THE TERRIBLE INVITATION (CHAP.5)=> STORY BY NELLY
Please do not share without talking to me or her personally and asking for permission,thank you for reading this story brought to you by Nelly aka Nnenna…
Mrs Andrew knew that she couldn’t stand the fact that her husband would sadden himself to death, course she loved him so much more than life itself.
She didn’t want him dead, he was her precious jewel,but the more mr Andrew thought about what had befallen his daughter the more he lost strength.
….MEAN WHILE IN THE HOSPITAL….
Micheal was still in coma,and of course Alice was with him (still in her wedding gown, yea….).
She remembered her words “not even death would separate us “.
Now she had an idea why the sudden tragedy had befallen her,she decided to fight it, right there in the hospital Ward.
She started to speak to the open air.
“Oh you demon wherever you are I command you to show yourself to me, what have I done to deserve this?”,she questioned the unseen spirit.
Suddenly something like a tornado spined her away …..away to a place she had never been to before.
The tornado stopped and she dropped on a hot sand as she heard a voice.
“ha ha ha, Alice… you dared to challenge me didn’t you? Oh yes you called for me in your…
But Alice interrupted.
“Whatsoever you are, I didn’t invite you into my life neither did I even invite you to my wedding, So this moment go back to who ever invited you and tell that person I’m too hot to handle “.
………. SUDDENLY ………..
She woke up on one of the hospital’s bed,she looked from left to right and was a little bit lost and confused,she wondered to herself what was really going on.
She was about to get off the bed when two nurses came in and told her to relax back.
She then took the opportunity to ask them what happened to her, they told her she had fainted.
She was surprised but ensured that they let go of her, after making it clear that she was alright.
All of a sudden an ambulance drove in the premises of the hospital, Alice was calm enough till she saw that it was her father, she lost her breath as she ran downstairs to see her father.
Mrs Andrew looked very paled, she couldn’t do what she had to do, she would lose but all the same she decided to change things when she got home, she just could not swallow the thought that she would lose Mr Andrew.
Alice was really down… first; on her wedding day her husband dropped, she had an encounter with the devil himself, and now; her dad, she was in trouble,a very big one.
Alice spent the night at the hospital and her step mom went back home.
Mrs Andrew was alone at home so she called out to the angels.
They both arrived looking good and evil.
Angel of Death asked saying…
“Have you called me to thank me? “,with a sparkling grin on it’s evil face.
But she replied….
“Oh yes death you have done a great job but it affects my husband so bad that he is in the hospital”, talking with a sad face.
Angel of life looks at Mrs Andrew….
“I knew you would regret”,it said smiling…
“Death I know its hard for you to go back on your words but please have mercy to spare the old man and heal Alice husband, please I beg of you”,she begged with both her knees on the cold freezing floor….
Death reversed everything it did since it was what Mrs Andrew wanted.
The next day both Alice, her father and her husband came back home looking healthy,Alice was pleased, she thought she had conquered death.
She just didn’t understand that nothing couldn’t stop death when it says “it’s time for someone to die”,
Alice step mother finally accepted micheal after she saw the goodness in his soul and eyes,Mr Andrew was so happy that she accepted him,micheal was happy so was alice.
THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER…..THE END
THANKS FOR READING MY STORY, GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND JUST KNOW YOU SHOULD HAVE FAITH IN YOUR WORDS LIKE ALICE FOR THERE’S ALWAYS A WAY TO BE THE WINNER……
THIS IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY NNANNA NNENNA JUST CALL ME NELLY, YOU CAN WHATSAPP ME ON +22961804913,GET ME ON FACEBOOK, ITS NELLY NALLY LATER PALS.


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