Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Akpos privileged to see a bag full of money. so as a guy man, he took some from the bag and decide to bury the remaning one under a tree. after burying it, he snap a picture of the tree. the next day, akpos feeling so satified booked a flight to london. while on air, he brought out the picture of the spot he buried the money. as he look at the picture, he saw a man on top of a tree smiling down on(at) him! he fainted in the plane. q one word for akpos


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-17 20:27:04

1032 Views




Takleef Mit Gayi Lekin Ehsaas Reh Geya;

Khush Hun Ki Chalo Kuch To Mere Paas Reh Geya!Related

A guy enter restaurant with a girl without money.he shoulted bring the manure here.
girl: babe is not manure but manuscript.
guy:  whatever it is just bring it here.
walter: oga here is it:guy:baby choose anytin u like.
gal: thanks darling.na so d point finish nd after the meal.
walter: oga ur bill is #100,000.
d guy fainted.

one word 4 d guy.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-18 10:47:14

440 Views




All my life that I’ve lived so far, I’ve never been in
this kind of situation, I’ve never been this
emotional. Now, I don’t need a psychic or a
fetish to tell me that ‘I’m in love’…
Me: U see… Mirabel, I dunno if I acted blind or I
was so naive to realize how much U care for me
but to tell U the truth… I really appreciate
everything U did for me, the love, the care, the
kindness and the extra love that you’ve shown
me, I Love U Mirabel…
I looked at her, I saw tears dripping down from
her eyes yet she was some how smiling…
Mirabel: (Straight-face) U know what Victor, I’ve
stopped liking U a long time ago
Me: (Shocked) What?
Mirabel: Yes!
Me: Mirabel please no don’t do that,,, I beg U,
baby I love U. Please forgive my naivety and all
the sadness I cost U… I can see clearly now, I’m
very sure of myself that I’m in love for the first
time of my life… please baby don’t do this to me
not now not ever I beg U…
Mirabel: U don’t get it do U?
Me: Mirabel please, I’m so crazy about U now, I
might go mad in fact my brain is shattering
already. I’m going crazy Mirabel!!
Mirabel: Victor, I don’t like U anymore… U didn’t
even asked me why
Me: Why? Please why??
Mirabel: (Laffs) Because I love U so much…
Me: Really?
Mirabel: Yea! I can’t believe you’re this sweet
Me: Well, U made me go crazy
Mirabel: Thats what U get for being so naive
Me: (calmed) I love U Mirabel
Mirabel: I love U more
We hugged each other for almost a minute or so
before we slowly adjusted to kissing position. We
shared our first kiss which lasted for 4secs, she
turn down her eyes in a shy way while smiling. I
smiled to myself as well, I used my hands to
raise her head up, pulled her closer then we lip-
locked for about 8 minutes before….
Lola: Yes! I catch una. Cynthia show!
We adjusted on hearing her voice but with smile
on our faces…
(Cynthia walked in)
Cynthia: Whats up here?
Lola: Cynthia, U won’t believe it
Cynthia: What?
Lola: I caught them kissing
Cynthia: Really? Wow! This calls for celebration.
I’m so happy for U guys (ran in side)
Lola: At last…
Mirabel: Lola!
Lola: C’mon girl! I caught U red-handed, this is
happening girl… I know it will work he’s a nice
guy but hey, obviously not for my liking but good
for U
I was just there smiling feeling much comfortable
like we’ve been together for the longest time.
Cynthia came back with a champagne bottle and
4 glasses.
She poured some champagne in the glasses then
everyone took theirs…
Lola: Lets toast for the new lovers
Cynthia: Cheers!
We hit up our glasses doing ‘cheers’ as we see
in the movie ‘coz I’ve never done it before.
Mirabel: Thanks girls for been there for me, I
really appreciate U guys and I love U both
Lola/Cynthia: We love U too
**Laughs**
Lola: Hey mister, U’ve been silent all this while
aint U goin’ to say something?
Me: Oh yes uhmm… I really dunno how to
express my gratitude, I dunno how to thank U
guys for a job well done.
Lola: Just try, U’re doing it already
Me: **smiles** Thank U guys for everything, your
help, courage, advice, mind activation, motivation,
stimulation, the actualization…
Lola: Its Ok and you are so welcome
Cynthia: You’re welcome Victor, and thank U
too…. now our friend is back to herself again,
even better.
Lola went to a corner and brought something out.
A video camera!
Lola: Well well well… lemme see how it all began
Cynthia: What’s that?
Lola: A camera
Mirabel: U set a camera for us?
Lola: I just want to know everything that
happened here, U know I’m not good in listening
to stories like this, and besides, U won’t even tell
us.
Mirabel: Could have be more if U hadn’t
interrupted
Lola: I don’t mind, this will do
Mirabel: So pathetic… (jokingly)
As for me, I dunno what to say or what to feel. Is
it right or wrong? I dunno jare.
Me: U are really funny Lola
Lola: **Smiles**
I turned to Mirabel, held hands, then took her
outside to the garden. Now, I want to like… be in
charge.
We walked slowly in the garden in silence. Then I
stopped, used both my hands to hold both hers
too while facing each other
Me: Mirabel,,,, U are a new experience in my life,
U are another chapter of my life, U are another
person worth thinking about in my life, U are
another moment that is worth remembering in
life, U are my new found joy, source of happiness
and U are my first love,,,, I love U Mirabel… Will U
be my lover?

#B-goF

>> Part 22 -

Oya [Read it]


A student was riding his bicycle to school and a mechanic too riding an old motor which belonged to someone else, started to laugh at the student and he said "oya,come see the beggars trying to shame givers".


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-05-03 00:54:35

302 Views




A woman was having sex with her lover in her apartment. Suddenly she heard her husband arrive, She told her lover, stay like statue and Don’t move.


Husband, “Who is this?”


Wife, “This is a robot I bought to have sex, when you are travelling.”


Husband, “Ok, let’s have sex now.”
Wife, “No sweetheart, yesterday I got my period, So I will go & make a cup of coffee 4 you.”


After she left the husband said, “Damn it I’m so horny, I will fuck this robot!”


He tried fucking.


The lover started talking in a metallic robotic way, “”SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOLE! SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOLE.”


Husband, “Damn! Robot is not working properly, I’m throwing it out of the window.”


The lover realised that he was on the 20th floor so he said, “SOFTWARE UPDATED” PLEASE TRY AGAIN.”Related

Crazy workers [Read it]


Two factory workers, Tsbalala and Akpos are talking. Tsbalala says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." 


Akpos replies, "And how would you do that?" 


Tsbalala says, "Just wait and see."  


He then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" 


Tsbalala replies, "I'm a light bulb." 


The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." 


Akpos starts to follow Tsbalala and the boss says, "Where are you going?" 


Akpos says, "I'm going home too. I can't work in the dark."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-29 22:16:28

229 Views




One Day Me Nd My Family Are Eatin On D Dinin Table Ishouts) My Dad Dad:If U Talk I Wil Beat U,U Dnt Ave Table Manner. There4 I Shut Up My Mouth After Eatin My Father Said Wat D I Wnt 2 Say. I Said A Housefly Lay On His Food Wen His About 2 Swallow D Food But Has Been Swallowed Nw . Father:Wat! Nd U Cnt Talk I:But U Shun 2 Talk. He Almost Die Tryin 2 Put His Hand Inside D Neck 2 Vomit It. But It Is Imposible. Wu 2 Be Blame Judge Wel


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-15 16:12:53

408 Views




GRAND COMEDY HOUSE (STORY BY DINDY) EPISODE 1

Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story.
This story contains 5 episodes only, thanks for reading.

.....STORY BEGINS.....
Laugher, comedy and Jokes, are not just words, but happiness to life's existence.
Time built up a generation of humans with unnamed characters and languages, of course not languages of the tongue, but languages of the brain which always results in jokes and laugher for the soul.
Life was given to a man and a woman to bring froth new breathing humans to the earth. I was amongst those breathing humans that were brought forth.
My name is Dae dae and my family is a warzone of comedy against jokes.
I'm the last born, I have two brothers and sisters named; Hassan, Veron, Anita and Sonie, and my dad and mum. --Belief you me, I'm the black sheep of the family--.
Our life was full of fan and troubles which I regularly caused. Ok wait maybe I should stop talking right now and just take you guys to the main story here.
.........LET'S BEGIN.......
Dad: "Hassan", called my dad as he sat in his favorite wooden chair.
Dad: "Ah, where is this boy I just called now?, he questioned himself.
Dad: "He didn't even answer his name when I called him", he said.
..........MEAN WHILE........
Hassan: "Dad is calling me let me quickly go before he gets angry", he said as he approached the door.
Dea dea: "What do you think you are doing?", I asked.
Hassan: "I'm going to shave the hair inside my brain, don't ask me each question again", he said.
Dea dea: "Bro you're fu*king up, real niggas fear no one not even their dad", I said.
Hassan: "You are right bro, so what should I do?", he asked.
Dea dea: [Smile] Chew gum and walk slowing like a nigga. Remember if you wanna be a nigga, you gat to act like one bro", I said convincing him.
Hassan: "You're right bro, I won't fear dad any more!", he said as he took the chewing gum I left on the table, then walked out.
Dea dea: "[Laughs] Hassan you're so gonna be a die nigga, RIP bro", i said laughing heavily.
I stood up from where I sat, to go see the event which I plotted to unfold its evil self .
Dad: "Hassan! Hassan!", called my dad loudly
Hassan: "Yes dad, I'm here what do you want?", he said as he approached my dad walking like a nigga and cchew the gum slowly.
Dad: "Are you ok?", asked my dad looking at him confused.
Hassan: "Yea dad, tell me what yuh want man", he ordered.
Dad: " You're chewing gum, So you are now a wassup nigga", he said.
Hassan: "Yea man", he said chewing the gum more slowly.
Dad: "Ok Mr nigga, there's something on your head, bend down so that I will clean it off for you", he said stretching his left hand towards his head.
Hassan: "Ok man, do it quickly, I ain't gat no time for that", he said as he bent down his head.
My dad's hand folded into a fist and a heavy knock landed on Hassan's head, making the chewing gum in his mouth to fall off and making his head to duck down in-between his shoulders
I laughed hard due to what i saw and tears came out my eyes.
Dad: "Are you still a nigga?, asked my dad
Hassan: "[Crying] no daddy", he said rubbing his head with both hands and crying.
Dad: "Now pick up that chewing gum and put it in the middle of your head, if you beg me you will hate yourself", he said pointing at Hassan.
Hassan: "Daddy, daddy, daddy", he said crying.
Dad: "Do you wanna beg me?", he asked.
Hassan: "No dad, I just wanna say you look beautiful under the moon light", he talked confused because of the brain cracking knock.
Dad: "C'mon shut up and do what I told you to do. Make sure you pass it down on your head", he said.
Hassan slowly picked up the chewing gum and passed it down on his head. My laugher became harder as my eyes saw what went on.
Dad: "Now go get me water from the kitchen and you better don't remove that gum from your head, or else you will hate me", he said.
Hassan walked to the kitchen crying, while I laughed uncontrollably. When he came out of the kitchen and gave my dad the water he held, I looked at his face and I could no more control the happiness that my plan worked.
Dea dea: "[Laughs] you fell for my tricks ooo", I said laughing like a mad dog with tears running down my eyes, as i walked out from my hiding place.
Dad: "So Dea dea, it was you that made Hassan act like this?, how many times have i told you to stop your tricks?", he questioned me angrily as he walked towards me
Hassan: "I will kill you Dea dea, you tricked me", he said walking towards me.
Dea dea: "[Stops laughs] Oh no", I said as I calculated my movement.
I quickly ran towards the corner of the parlour, escaping to be caught by my dad and bro, then running out side.
Dad: "Come here you stubborn boy", he said running after me.
Hassan: "I will kill you", he said as he pulled the chewing gum off his head running toward me.
I got to the gate and it was locked.
Dad: "I will so beat you today", he said walking towards me knowing I had no where to run to.
Hassan: "I will put this chewing gum in your nose", he said removing all the gum on his head.
I looked left and right, then smile heavily and took a run to the fence which was at my right, then climbed it.
Dea dea: "[Tongue out] You can't catch me, chewing gum boy", I said to Hassan laughing, knowing it would provoke him.
Hassan: "Your real daddy!, your real daddy!, you hear me?", he said forgetting my dad was right beside him.
My dad looked at him, with a face of "I will kill you"...... To be continue.

STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi








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They made an engaging looking couple in the swank restaurant: The man was handsome, graying and obviously well off; the woman was a joy to any eye –
very young, ravishing and delectable.


As they each read their menus, the gentleman asked his date what she would like to eat.


She scanned the menu yet again, and said, “To begin, I’ll have two champagne cocktails, then a dozen oysters on the half shell and a tureen of turtle soup. As entrees I’ll have the filet of English sole followed by pheasant under glass, plus an a la carte order of asparagus tips. For dessert, just bring the cart.


Somewhat surprised not only by her appetite, but by the cost of all of this, he asked, “Tell me. Do you eat this well at home too?”


“Well, no,” she admitted, “But no one at home wants to sleep with me.”Related

fire outbreak [Read it]


WIFE: Darling why are you home this early
wearing such a long face?
AKPOS: Had a terrible day, i
lost all my colleagues today at work.
WIFE: Blood of Jesus! What
happened?
AKPORS: There was a fire outbreak down in
the tunnel and everybody died!
WIFE: What a pity! Darling I thank God for
keeping you alive. How did you make it out
my dear?
AKPOS: Darling, it was God's work. My
stomach was upsetting me so, I took a break
to ease myself in the toilet.
WIFE: Darling, thank God you
are alive. What would have Happened to us?
I feel so much pity for their families. So bad,
how are they going to survive now?
AKPOS: My dear its a pity, but UNITED
NATIONS has decided to give the families of
the deceased $10million each.
WIFE: What?!!!!! Ten million
what? So because of your useless stomach
upset and the foolish
toilet and your refusal to die
with your colleagues.......make me miss that
money?? I beg if you don't want trouble, go
back and die with your colleagues.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-13 18:55:56

1166 Views




One day a kid was sitting on a park bench eating one candy bar after another.

An older man walks up and notices the young boy and says, “you shouldn’t be eating all those candy bars, they aren’t good for you.”

The young boy looks at the man and replies, “did you know my grandad lived to be a 108 years old?”

The man replies, “well did he eat candy bars every day?”

And the kid replied, “no, he minded his own fucking business.”Related

“Mary i don’t want to see you ever again.
It’s over between us” i said slowly,
watching her reaction keenly.She drew
back with surprise. Her mouth opening
with great disbelief. “what?, i don’t understand you bro. Ken. I
thought we were…” she desperately tried
to say something, but i interrupted her,
nodding with a crazy smile.
“you heard me right” i murmured.
“I beg of you, let’s talk this out. Just thirty minutes of your time is enough. I
think i deserve such. Please” she quickly
begged,controlling her tears and
displaying a fake smile. I stared at her for
some seconds,shrugged and obliged.
Quietly she walked into my sitting room,carefully sat on a sofa and faced
me.“please tell me the truth?, what’s
behind your sudden change in behaviour.
I’m an
adult, please hide nothing from me” she
begged with a calm grace, staring at me with eyes filled with dashed hope. I drew
close and held her hands.
“we have to end this because i’m not
comfortable with you anymore. I don’t
love you, let’s just be friends” i said
slowly. She breathed deeply, and drew back a bit.
“just like that?. No bro. Ken. Born-again
Christians don’t behave that way. Tell
me?,why the sudden change of heart. I
don’t just understand. Today is sunday of
all days, please be serious” she managed to murmur with disbelief. I rubbed my
face and swallowed hard.
“you have to get going now. Please i
need a little peace” i barked, dragging her
strongly on her feet. My action totally
surprised her. She tried to resist but i was stronger.
Tears quickly drew down her cheeks.
“why are you doing this to me?, why are
you shattering my hopes. You don’t love
me anymore, but why, it isn’t fair. God is
watching” she cried as i pushed her out of
my apartment.I felt miserable but
satisfied, paying no attention to her cries
as she banged on my locked door asking
for another chance.
As i returned to the sofa, my eyes fell on the nylon bag she brought. I quickly
grabbed it in order to flung it out of my
apartment, but unfortunately the hand
tore, pouring a well perpared meal of
rice,chicken and salad in my sitting room.

>>

WIFE: My Husband where are you?
HUSBAND (AKPORS): At home love.
WIFE: Are you sure?
AKPORS: Yes.
WIFE: Turn on the blender.
AKPORS: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee
WIFE: Ok my Darling goodbye. Another day
WIFE: My Husband where are you?
AKPORS: At home love
WIFE: Are you sure?
AKPORS: Yes
WIFE: Turn on the blender AKPORS: (turns blender on)
reeereeeereeee
WIFE: Ok my Darling goodbye The next day, the wife decides to go
home without notice, and finds his
son alone
and she asked him son where is
your father?
SON: I don't know, He went out with the blender. One word for Akpors


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-26 11:52:00

321 Views




A newly married man came home worried.

Wife: What happened?

Man: I’ve a problem at work.

Wife: Dear, after marriage it’s ‘We’ not ‘I’.

Man: Ok, we are going to have a baby from my secretary.Related

Premiership clubs in relation to students Man United is like a student who
doesn't read throughout the semester
but reads for exams and comes first at
the end. Arsenal is the youngest boy in class, very
brilliant but always has exam fever. He
manages to still be among the best in
the class. Chelsea is the big bully of the class. He
comes first sometimes but his rich
father is never satisfied with
his performance. Liverpool always wants to claim he is
the best because his father was the best
during his time in the same school. Man City is the son of the richest man in
town. His parents have hired the best
lesson teachers to coach him. He is
starting to contest with the guys at the
top. As for tottenham. He doesnt really want
to be first, all he wants is to be better
than Arsenal, his next
door neighbor. TRUE OR FALSE?
#BOLLY_SHOW ?? ? ? ?™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-23 13:40:30

405 Views



the quote [Read it]


They say ask and it be given unto you-(abeg) deaf and dumb nkor??..seek and u shall find-blind man nkor??..knock and it shall be open-(bros)thief man dey knock??...give and it shall be given unto you-poor man when no get fit give??..when someone slaps u turn the other side-(ehn)for this naija,we go fight die..when your right eye makes you to commit sins pluck it off-(ah)na one eye u go get o...


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2015-06-09 16:27:52

503 Views




Falling in love is like jumping from the

top of a 81 storey tall building where

your mind says it is not a gud idea but

your heart says, “Saale, dar mat…tu udh

skta hai…!!! ????Related

boyfriend [Read it]


HOME RINGING .
GIRL- hello
UNKNOWN- do u have a
boyfriend ?
GIRL- yes! Why do u ask ?
UNKNOWN- its me your father! So
u idiot have a boyfriend at that
age?! We shall see when i get
home.
GIRL- daddy plz am only joking i
can explain …he hungs up .
AGAIN PHONE RINGS
GIRL- hello
UNKNOWN- do u have a
boyfriend ?
GIRL- No!!!
UNKNOWN- oh honey so u’re
ashamed of me ?
GIRL- No!! my luv 4give me i
thought it was my dad!
UNKNOWN- yes it still me your
father just wanted to confirm if u
have a boyfriend….i’ll meet u at
home….


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-13 18:06:38

293 Views




Wife: I Have Changed My Mind.

Husband: Thank God ! Does The New One Work Now?Related

Trust [Read it]


Life relationship is sweet with trust but life is misery without it


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2016-03-27 14:17:47

213 Views



First man [Read it]


''Darling. I'm I the first man to make love to you?''


Her tone of answering was slightly more than irritable, ''Of course you are!" she said "And also the best too. I wonder why you men always ask the same old ridiculous question!''




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-11 17:45:42

193 Views




It was in the evening when Akpos decided to eat with the only money(#300) in his pocket.
On reaching in the restaurant, he demanded #100 rice and #200 fish.
One young man wearing a jacket that stood beside him said "man you eat badly, eat any thing you like i will pay".
Out of joy Akpos rushed the waiter and demand for a plate of rice that worth #5000.
As he was eating he look up and see the same young man. "man i like to sit beside my friend when he is eating".
Akpos admitted him and give him a seat. After sometime the young man said to Akpos "Do you drink after eating".
Akpos nodded. "go and collect two bottles of drink."
After eating, Akpos went and collect two bottles of drink, as he finished drinking the first one, to open the second one his opener fell down he bend down to pick it, he then saw that his friend did not have any shoe and his trouser was tattered. (his friend is a madman).
The young man look at him and smiled you are dead. Is u and your God go take una eyes see what these people go do you".
Don`t laugh because Akpos is currently in police station for killing d mad man.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-21 19:44:43

5786 Views




Never get on one knee for a girl who won’t get on two for you.Related

**back to the story**
A cool and beautiful morning which was the first day of resumption after a long term holiday, I was so much happy and eager to be back to school. Our mum woke us up as early as 6 a.m in the morning so as to get to school early. by 7:15 a.m we were already ready as we set out to school...on d way ..me and brother started gistng

wale: Kunle, bawo ni school se ma ri ni oni ? ( Kunle how will school be like today?)
me : I no va know o bro ,but am just happy ,don't know if its bcoz of the resumption or something else
wale : me too o, I really miss my babes especially Lara
me laughing ) nawa for you o, you and dis babes.. u better change ..no forget say ur result dey a bit poor last term
wale : forget dat one jawe egbon e ( senior bro.) life no go sweet na without this babes..na u dey dull urself jawe
me : (feigning an angry face) meaning !!
wale : so you wan tell me say u no know say plenty gals really like you for class
me : (surprised) really...I no know o..but girls like who?
wale : broda Mi, u no Soji at all,,,u wan tell me say u no notice as Nicky, toyosi and queen dey give you green light since j.s.s class
me : I noticed, I no feel for dem ...just friendship
wale : you know dats why I dislike you, u sabi fuck up..anyway na ur own cup of tea, at least when u reach 40 ..u go get gf.
me : u no well ( made an attempt to punch him which he dodged)
wale : I wan branch reach Daniel house, u go ahead of me.
me : okay no problem, but no late too
wale: okay

my brother left for his bestie's house Daniel while I went straight to school. after 10 minute, I finally reached school.
Being the first day ,the school was scanty .I went straight to my class not after exchanging greetings,handshakes from colleagues juniors,seniors and teachers. on getting to the class, I met a girl ( a new student I guess) sitting alone in class

who was she?


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Three Americans and three
Nigerians were travelling by
a train to a conference. At
the station, the three
Americans bought tickets
each and watched as the
three Nigerians bought only
one ticket. One of the
Americans asked, "How are
three people going to travel
on only one ticket?"
One of the Nigerians replied,
'Watch the ride."
They all board the train. The
Americans took their
respective seats, but the
three Nigerians cram into a
restroom and closed the
door behind them. Shortly
after the train departed, the
conductor came around
collecting tickets. He knocked
on the restroom door and
said, "Ticket, please."
The door opened a little and
a single arm emerged with a
ticket in hand. The conductor
collected it and moved on.
The Americans saw this and
agreed it was quite a clever
idea.
After the conference, the
Americans decided to copy
the Nigerians on the return
trip and save some money.
When they got to the station,
they bought a single ticket
for the return trip. To their
astonishment, the Nigerians
did not buy a ticket. One of
the Americans asked, "How
are you going to travel
without a ticket."
One of the Nigerians replied,
"Watch the ride."
When they boarded the
train, the three Americans
cram into a restroom and the
three Nigerians cram into
another one nearby. The
train departs.
Shortly afterwards, one of
the Nigerians left the
restroom and walked over to
the restroom where the
Americans were hiding. He
knocked on the door and
said, "Ticket, please."
guess what happens.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-13 21:26:16

1632 Views




Boy: Meri Gf banogi..???

.

.

Gal: Mere parents allow nai karte

.

.

.

.

Boy: Haan kamini jaise mere baap ne to mujhe

“Akhil Bhartiya Ladki Patao abhiyan Ka Chairman Bana Rakha Hai..???”Related

On a Monday
morning on your
way to work, your
car tires get stuck
in the mud, you try
everything
possible to bring it
out but you
couldn’t.
“How do I get this
Car out of the
mud”, you
muttered under
your breath.
As you wonder
what next to do, a
boy among the
street boys
playing “Ayo”
across the road
comes running
towards your
direction.
“Big bros, your car
enter
mud?” (a typical
kind of question
Nigerians always
ask even when the
answer is obvious)
“Yes, and I can’t
find a way out, can
you please help?”
“You na our bros
now, we go help
you?”
Wale turns
towards his
friends sitting on a
bench across, all of
them focused at
the ayo game. He
yells at them:
“Gbenga, Emeka,
Olu, make una
show this
Chairman car enter
mud”
Three macho boys
leave their game
to help.Oluwa
finally has
answered your
prayer,
“Oya start the car
bros make we
push”
At last, the car
comes out of the
mud. What an act
of kindness from
those young
energetic boys, a
big relief! ! You’re
happy.
“Thank you guys, I
am very grateful.”
The boys smile and
reply “you na our
person now”.
No one need sto
tell you that your
next step should
be “settling” the
boys.
Or na “thank you”
go pay for food for
mama put?
You do the math in
your head quickly,
four boys times
100, ok ehm mmm…
let me give them
500 Naira, at least
they can share
that.
“Wale thank you.
Take this and
share with the
boys”,
Wale stares at you
with that “bros
just 500 naira”
look; he collects it
with a frown and
moves away.
You ask yourself
for the umpteenth
time, Does every
“thank you”
have to ladened
with some Naira?
But of course you
can’t blame the
Boys, “it’s the
economy my
brother”, like my
friend always say.
This happens in
every 3rd
world Country,
striving to survive
is a job, and you
don’t joke with
your job, do you?
It makes sense
because we are
third Worlders. We
are forward-
looking people,
everything comes
with a price tag
even the
eight letter word
“THANK YOU“.
*sips chilled zobo,
stretches back a
little*
Ok, so let’s
continue the gist
or is it a rant ? Well
here goes another
story
A Nigerian woman
found twelve
thousand dollars
($12000),
approximately
1milliion naira at
the airport and she
returned it.
Yeah, she did
return it!
Unbelievable right?
Especially in our
country Nigeria.
Finding such a
person in Nigeria is
like trying to find a
Million naira
jackpot under the
cover of a coca
cola bottle (your
chances are very
low).
So honesty is very
rare and not only
in Nigeria but in
the world in
general.
Like I always say
honesty and
poverty are
cousins. It’s
difficult to keep a
clean honest sheet
in a developing
country.
You don’t need to
misplace your
wallet someone
else will pick it up
from you.
Back to the story,
Yes she found it
and kindly
returned it to the
owners, what a
great act of
kindness!
The drama that
unfolded after
that was the
interesting part of
the story.
She was rewarded
by the owner a
sum of 20
thousand naira,
yeah twenty
thousand naira
that’s like a
fraction of what
she found.
“Oga, o o o 20k Ke?
Thats too bad!”
“Just 20k? if I be ur
husband I go send
u packing for
returning d money
–whaaaaaaaat
20k…..na dat kinda
money she go use
feed d family, chai
she for carry all d
money run o”
Those were a few
among the
comments.
Nigerians all over
the social media
were quite angry,
such a reward is
just too small for
the amount she
returned. This
even motivated
some never to
return the money
if they find
themselves in such
situation.
Well, would I have
returned such if I
were in her, well
let’s leave that
question for the
gods to answer lol.
Of course, I would
have *winks
So that brings us
back to the point.
Do every form of
“thank you”
have to be in the
form of cash?
I quite understand
20k is small
compared to the
amount she
returned, but do
you think if money
was what she had
had in mind she
would
have returned
such an amount
money? She was
kind and acted
with a conscience.
Honesty is an
inner conviction!
The word “THANK
YOU” in Nigeria
always goeswith
“something”, like
the saying goes
“Na thank you
we go chop”
Anyway thank you
for reading this,THANKYOU is not enough,ok i give free access to the comment box. Man
Shall Not Live By
“Thanks” Alone! #B-goF


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-15 08:24:17

370 Views




Luke: Joan;lets talk
Joan: there is nothing to talk about because as far as i am concern this marriage is not working
Luke: why do you think so?
Joan: i don't think i know so. you said it all;you are still in love with your brother's wife
Luke: Joan;i can't denial it but it is you i got married to,for this reason i will never do anything to hurt
Joan: your saying you don't love me is enough to hurt me
Luke: just tell me what i will do to make this marriage work
Joan: stay away from Loveth;stop seeing her
Luke: what?
Joan: yes;you said both of you have nothing in common except that love of yours and you haven't cheated on me with her. right?
Luke: yes
Joan: then stay away from her or i leave with my daughter
Luke: if that is what you want then i will do it
Joan: yes(exit Joan)
Luke: i really do not know what i get myself into(curtain)


Lucas: Liz;how are you?
Liz: i should be the one asking about your health
Lucas: i am okay;i want to discus with you
Liz: about what?
Lucas: our son
Liz: what about him
Lucas: Liz;the Jude i know as change big time. he as change,he has turn into a monster
Liz: my son is not a monster
Lucas: what kind of a man will be hurting his wife?
Liz: whatever that girl is going through she deserve it
Lucas: are you okay?what if the girl in question is your daughter?
Liz: she is not my daughter and she can not be my daughter
Lucas: you are heartless like your son
Liz: i don't care
Lucas: tell him to stop hurting her
Liz: why are you acting like it is a new thing for a man to hit his wife?
Lucas: Liz
Liz: yes;did you not hit Muriel when you were married to her?go on answer me. you always show your strength on her even when she did nothing talk less of this girl that is flirting around other boys
Lucas: Liz
Liz: don't Liz me,i am saying the true its just so happen that your son take after you. woman beater. so give me a break(she walked away)
Lucas: what is wrong with Liz?(curtain)


Grace: dear;why are you dress up?
Lambert: i want to go see my daughter
Grace: oh!someone is missing his baby
Lambert: who wouldn't?
Grace: no one
Lambert: dear;what happen at the party?
Grace: is nothing important(she just wear a sad face)
Lambert: what is it?is my daughter okay?
Grace: of cause;i just missed her
Lambert: alright;i will go visit her on my way from the office
Grace: alright;say me well to her
Lambert: alright
Grace: bye my lord
Lambert: bye(curtain)


Jude: dad;who are trying to call?
Lucas: is your brother;he is not pick my calls and when i text him;he just replied saying he is not coming
Jude: i am sure he doesn't want to come
Lucas: yes;please help me go to him and tell him,'i want to see him'
Jude: but dad
Lucas: please
Jude: i will just call him(he try his number but he still do not pick)dad;he doesn't want to
Lucas: son please go to his house
Jude: i don't know his house,i know just his hospital
Lucas: then go to him
Jude: what?(he coughed)that is a enough dad;i will go get him
Lucas: thank you son
Jude: i go on(at Luke's hospital)good day
Nurse: good day sir
Jude: i am looking for doctor Luke
Nurse: oh!there he goes
Jude: Luke,thanks(he walked to him)hi baby brother
Luke: what do you want?
Jude: i came to see my baby brother
Luke: do you have brain problem;i am not your brother
Jude: i should be the one rejecting you because you are the one flirting with my wife
Luke: are you sick?
Jude: no;if i am sick i know where to go
Luke: good;state your mission and leave
Jude: your father want to see you and he really want to see you
Luke: well i don't want to see him
Jude: you don't want to see him or you cant bear to see your love with me. is it painful that she choose me over you
Luke: are you stupid
Jude: if i am lying then proof me wrong(he walked away)
Luke: what is wrong with this stupid boy?(curtain)

Zara: Ma Loveth
Loveth: oh my world;long time(they hugged each other)how is everyone?the firm. i just missed you all
Zara: we missed you too
Loveth: i just wish i could come back
Zara: you can always come back,you know you were the boss favorite and he will always accept you
Loveth: no;my husband doesn't like it.
Zara: you never know he might change his mind
Loveth: i will asked him
Zara: alright;see you some other time
Loveth: okay(curtain)

Joan: your dad called,he said,'you should come over'
Luke: i don't want to go
Joan: why?
Luke: Joan;i don't want to go,so we don't have a new issue
Joan: don't worry about it
Luke: fine;where is Ruth
Joan: she is not back from school yet
Luke: alright
Joan: why did you even decided to sleep at Jude apartment?
Luke: um....his son was sicked and i have to take care of him
Joan: oh poor thing
Luke: is a good thing i was there and sorry i didn't call you
Joan: is okay;come here(they both hugged)i love you(curtain)


Jude: hey;what is it?
Loveth: Jude;i want to beg for something
Jude: what is that?
Loveth: you know since we came back i have been in doors and i am kind of getting bored;increasing in weight and i was thinking maybe i should....
Jude: should do what?
Loveth: is not like i am saying you can't take care of me,i am just saying...
Jude: what do you want to saying?
Loveth: uh...um....i...
Jude: you are not making sense
Loveth: (she say a silent prayer)can i go back to work?
Jude: oh you want to used work to cover up;so you can go flirt around with boys
Loveth: Jude
Jude: is like i am too friendly with you. from now on you will no longer wear trouser or short gown,every wear of yours will be loose one;none fitted one and a long one
Loveth: what?i will not wear that,not now or ever
Jude: really(he slapped her twice)you have really grown up(he pushed her and turn to leave)just thank you star(curtain)


Lucas: oh!long time my good friend
Lambert: you know how it is when you are in the business world
Lucas: of cause;welcome
Jude: good day sir
Lambert: how are you my son?
Jude: i am fine sir
Liz: good day sir;how is your wife?
Lambert: she is fine;where is my daughter,i have really missed her big time
Jude: she is not in
Lambert: oh poor thing;i was really hoping to see her today,i haven't really see her for a very long time
Liz: but she was with you few days back
Lambert: my daughter
Jude: yes;she even spend a night with you
Lambert: when?
Jude: that should be few days back
Lambert: hmm
Liz: yes;your wife was even here the next morning
Lambert: maybe i just forgot. you know age is not on my side
Lucas: of cause
Liz: alright
Lambert: i go ahead when she comes tell her i drop by
Jude: okay sir(exit Lambert)i don't understand;does it mean Loveth did not spent the night..
Liz: yes;she did not sleep there and this is so clear
Lucas: will you stop drawing conclusion
Liz: don't try to blind my son. son the truth is that your wife is a prostitute(enter Luke/Joan)oh the partner in crime is here
Joan: what is it?
Liz: asked your husband
Lucas: woman;will you stop it
Liz: i will oh but tell this son of yours to stay away from my daughter in law
Joan: what are talking about?
Jude: Luke;where you with my wife few days back?
Luke: what kind of silly question is that?
Liz: the question is that,what were you doing with my son's wife through at the night three days back?(he coughed)what is it?
Lucas: son;are you alright?
Luke: i am fine but your wife is funny. how can i be with your wife's son's wife?
Joan: of cause my husband is not with your wife in fact he slept at his best friends place. dear lets get out of here(exit Joan/Luke)
Jude: i just can't believe this is just a coincident
Liz: your wife is flirting with that boy and in fact they spent that night together in each other hand. son grow up
Jude: mom;i will kill her(he walked away)
Liz: my son please don't kill anyone because of that stupid boy oh. Lucas: Liz;you are evil

Loveth: Darling;i want to apologies to you for what my husband did to you and you too
Vivian: we hold no grudge against you,right Darling?
Darling: yes
Loveth: that is why i love you two
Darling: crazy girl;baby did your husband beat you up that day
Loveth: no but he was really mad at me
Vivian: Loveth;please be careful with him,so he doesn't hurt you
Loveth: i will
Darling: i will like us to hang out at the new coconut bar near my house
Vivian: alright;will you come
Loveth: of cause(few hours later)i think i have to start going;it is getting too late
Darling: just relax;this one last wine
Loveth: fine;for the sake of our friends(they sing together)this is cool,no bad air(back to Jude)
Jude: maid(he called)where is that useless girl?(he screamed again)
Maid: this proud man is here again;he will keep screaming like a dog and calling me maid,like i have no name(he screamed again)sir,i am coming(he walked to her)
Jude: are you deaf?i have been calling you
Maid: sorry sir;i was busy
Jude: sorry for yourself;where is my wife
Maid: i don't know sir
Jude: useless girl
Liz: where is Loveth?
Jude: she is not back yet
Liz: at this time of the day?it is past nine and she is still out. your wife is a flirt(enter Loveth)oh! all hail the prostitute
Loveth: i am not a prostitute
Liz: really?so tell us where are coming from?
Loveth: i needed fresh air
Liz: oh!fresh air indeed
Jude: your dad was here
Loveth: oh i miss him;i really want to see him
Jude: i thought you said you saw your dad when you went home
Loveth: yes
Jude: then why are you acting like you haven't seen your dad for long
Loveth: is nothing
Liz: why are you playing cool with her?your dad didn't see you that means you didn't spent the night in his house and that means you slept somewhere else
Jude: where did you sleep on that day?
Loveth: i slept at my dad's place. take it or leave it(she turned to leave and he dragged her back)what is it?
Jude: you now walked out on me
Loveth: please;i am not in for this
Liz: prostitute
Loveth: what did you just called me?
Liz: a prostitute and that is what you are
Loveth: among the both of us;who is a prostitute;a woman who was deprive of the one who love her and receive abuses from her suppose husband and mother in law or a woman who snatch someone else's husband
Liz: what?(she slapped her)how dare you?
Loveth: the truth is bitter right?please excuse me(she try to walked away and Jude dragged her back)what now?
Jude: who gave you the right to talk to my mom?(he slapped her twice)
Loveth: tell your mom to stop insulting me and you stop hitting me
Jude: you are have grown(he dragged her towards the door)you very stupid
Loveth: what are you doing?
Jude: you will spend the night outside in the cold this night
Loveth: if you don't want me in your house,i will leave(she pushed him and ran away)
Jude: come back here(he ran after her but she kept running)come here
Liz: let her go
Jude: but mom;what if something happen to her?
Liz: nothing will happen to her. she will be fine,trust me(curtain)


Luke: hello dear
Joan: are you not done with the operation?
Luke: i am;i am on my way home
Joan: alright(she end the call)i go get my husband's favorite dish
Luke: let me get a bread from the road side since any fast food will still be open by this time(back to Loveth)
Loveth: what do i do now?i just want to be free,free indeed. someone tell me;were is the beauty of marriage?i am tire of it. i am tired of everything. i will never go back to him(she crosses without looking and Luke saw her)
Luke: Loveth(he dragged her off the road)are you okay?
Loveth: come on;lets go
Luke: to where?
Loveth: (she jump into the Luke's car)come on get in and drive to anywhere;i just want to get a way(he drove off with her)



SEE MORE....


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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This happened on Apkors 40th BD
I dn't feel lyk wakin up,bt i jst hv 2
I wnt downstairs hopin 2 hear hbp 4rm my wife bt she only said gud morn felt so bad,wel mayb my kids wont 4get,bt they only said gud morn
I wnt 2 da office very unhappy.
Gud morn sir & hbd,said my secre
Thanx dear atleast am a little bit happy nw.
Sir 2day is your bd why dnt we go out 4 launch asked my secre
We wnt 4 launch ate & catch sm fun
Sir we dnt hv 2 go ryt away cn we pls go 2 my house & get smtin asked my secre
Sure we cn,we wnt 2 house 2geda
Sir pls lt me get smtin upstairs
Sure u cn,she wnt upstairs came out wit my wife,kids & friends
In chorus HAPPY BIRTHDAY
& i was sitin on the couch "NAKED"...........


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-18 13:41:05

1241 Views



Akpos mental [Read it]


Akpos was being discharged from Yaba Mental
Hospital after the doctors thought he was finally
back to normal.
They put him in an Ambulance to be taken back
home.
They took him to Omole, as he claimed that's where
he lived.
Just as they approached a certain house, 2 kids
dressed in school uniforms came out of the house.
Akpos screamed; "Those are my children, they are
going to school".
A minute later a woman came out of the same house
and Akpos screamed; "That's my wife, she is
late for work."
This time the doctors were
convinced Akpos was okay and took him out of the
ambulance but was still in chains.
As they were about unlocking the chains, a man
came out of the house and Akpos screamed; "Yes,
that's me, i am going to my office."

Is akpos supposed to be released?




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-28 19:17:57

329 Views



Creation [Read it]


In the beginning, God created the heaven
and the earth... After that, everything else
was Made in China.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-27 21:29:37

322 Views



Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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My details [Read it]


My biography
.
Real Name: Daniel Patrick Etim Okon Ukpong Obot Idem Etok Uwa.
.
Nick Name: GO-GETTER
.
Midnight name: Ikponng Akai(single forest)
.
Address: Ekpene ukim, uruan L.G.A of Akwa Ibom state in Nigeria, west Africa in the world, earth planent
.
Number: 08133**Infact i hav not change my line
.
Sex: yes, three times a day
.
Relationship: few relations but no ship(not even boat)
.
Hobbies: Collecting lions tooth, catching bullets wit bare hands, jogging up and down on mount Everest
.
My Records: Fought with a dinosaur and broke its neck, skinned a crocodile alive, held breath under water for 2 months 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours 5 minutes and 45 seconds and travelled around the world in a
.
Greatest Achievement: fluent in 10,598 languages... first Nigerian to land on the sun....
.
Silliest Thing i've done: Ate a bowl of plastic fruit on xmas..
.
Embarrassing Moment: Couldn't kill 100 bears with a single punch though 99 died instantly and the last is still suffering from an injury from the punch
.
Proudest Moment: firstly, a cobra died after it bites me, secondly, wen i roasted a dragon at my backyard with a lighter....
.
Something about me: I DON'T LIE, I DON’T LIKE BRAGGING AND TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT MY HISTORY....
.
.
.
.search n like my page...
Go-getter the funniest


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-10 19:03:01

524 Views




Very early the next day, i dropped Chioma at her
apartment before heading over to Mary’s house. I was
very determined to talk and probably settle issues with
Mary that morning before any other thing. As i drove, the terrible dream i had the previous night
came flashing back in my head. I shivered and drove on,
praying silently.
After the wonderful sex I enjoyed with Chioma the
previous evening, we had a quick dinner before
returning to the bedroom for a good night sleep because we were very tired and exhausted.
Unfortunately instead of sleeping peacefully, i saw
myself in a burial ceremony of a young lady. I couldn’t
make out her face, but neither Mary nor Chioma were
present in the dream. I soon sprang up from sleep and
never slept afterwards. It was an under-statement saying that my soul was
deeply troubled. My guilty conscience, the fear of the
pastor’s revelation and Jboy’s life that was ended
abruptly weighed heavily on my mind. I couldn’t
believe one nasty sex ride could cause so much havoc in
my life. Yea i frankly knew that i took the game too far by taking it to the church. That was the begining of all
my problems.
“what was i even thinking. A church of all places” i
scratched me head and sighed with regret.
I soon got to Mary’s house and made my way to her
apartment, knocking quietly on the door. Her elder sister appeared and stared at me with surprise.
“hey good morning, i’m sorry for coming so early, but i
really do need to talk to Mary please” i begged. She
scoffed and breathed deeply.
“My sister has left town. She is now where you can
never see her. She has left your life for good, so go home and enjoy yourself” she said rudely and tried to
shut the door but i noticed what she was about doing
and barged into the apartment before she could shut
the door.
Nobody was in the sitting room, i rushed to the
bedroom but still couldn’t find Mary. I checked the toilet. I checked everywhere but still couldn’t find her.
“I have no reason lying to you. Mary has left this town,
and she isn’t coming back in a long time. Moreover
what’s up with you?, why the desperation??. Don’t tell
me God is already whipping your as.s'” she sneered.
My eyes instantly grew very red with anger. I boiled with rage, something pushed me and i went for her
throat, throwing the obnoxious lady into panic with my
behaviour.
“where is Mary?” i barked,
“she has left the country. She travelled to Kumasi to be
with our elder brother. She’s in Ghana” she stammered with fear.
“what” i gasped.
“i hope you are not lying to me?” i asked, releasing my
hold on her neck. She drew back and stared at me with
fear.
“i have no need to lie to you. What do i have to gain with it?” she answered nervously,
“what do you mean she travelled to Ghana. Why?, for
what reason?” i asked with despair.
“To get away from you of course. You made her life a
living hell. She ran away in order to have peace of mind.
You can now enjoy your life Mr Ken. Thank you for hurting a harmless woman” she fired with tears. I
breathed deeply, not knowing what to do.
I wasn’t in control of myself, neither was i in control of
my mind.
Supposing she was hiding anywhere in the country,
things would have been a lot more easier for me. I would have done everything possible to find her, but
unfortunately she was nowhere near the country. She
travelled all the way to Ghana, just to keep her distance
from me.
“dear God you know i can’t travel to Ghana, you got to
help me” I prayed as i left the apartment downcast and greatly worried.
I headed to my house thereafter, had a quick meal,
freshened up and headed to work with a very confused
mind.
By 12:20pm Chioma walked into my office with her
normal smile, but it instantly faded as soon as she saw my face.
“what’s up?. You look worried” she asked curiously.
“can you book another appointment with your pastor.
The one we met the other day. I think we will be
needing more prayers” i said to Chioma who stared at
me with surprise and shock. “c’mon what’s happening. This isn’t you” she asked. I
simply shrugged and kept quiet, leaving her with no
choice than to nod in aggreement.
“very well then. I’ll call him later in the day. Perhaps by
tomorrow we will head over to his church” she said
slowly, her eyes still on me in a curious manner. I desperately needed to see the pastor. I needed his
prayers and perhaps a new revelation. Something that
could at least reduce the tension in me. I never used to
be religious but somehow my problems and fears were
gradually pushing me towards God with great speed.
By 2pm the next day, Chioma and i left the office to see the pastor. He recieved us happily and after a little
prayer asked Chioma to leave us alone.
“you fiancee told me you were desperate to see me. I
hope all is well?, my spirit tells me you have a secret to
share, so spit it out” he urged with a smile. I breathed
deeply, hesitated for a while before pouring out Mary’s story to him including the horrible nightmares i was
having.
“seriously things got worst, most especially my
conscience after the little session we had with you the
other day. Since Mary is now beyond my reach can’t i
just be happy and forget the past?” i concluded desperately.
“God is all knowing. He never allows us to hurt anyone
because we are all equal in his eyes. We are all his
children. He has a reason for wanting you to make
peace with the people you wronged. I insist you follow
it up no matter the price. As for me, be rest assured i’ll continue praying for you” the pastor said slowly, killing
my hopes.
I had expected some sort of good news or another easy
solution, but unfortunately he ended up saying the
same thing he said the last time.
“no i can’t just start running around Ghana in search of Mary. I guess i have to simply forge ahead and forget
the past. Who knows if this pastor is even real” i said to
myself with a faint heart.
I was far from being happy. I equally wasn’t ready to
abandon my responsibilities and head to Ghana.
Who ever does that??

>>

New Congress Slogan :



Abki Baar……..

Antim Sanskaar..Related

Good [Read it]


Akpors went to a supermaket to buy gun and there todd him that there don't sele original gun akpors became angry that the store is not good for maket later akpors ask the store to give me the fake gun the gun is made from paper akpors became more angry and went away.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-16 16:21:48

594 Views




The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. Akpos says, “Elephant.”

Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same Akpos says, “Two elephants.”

The teacher sends Akpos out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with “M”.

Akpos shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe an elephant!”

Lols, One word for Akpos....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-10 02:57:34

324 Views



Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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SYMPTOMS OF A BAD MOUTH ODOUR AKA HALITOSIS:
The following below are the ways to know if you
have a mouth odour:
You always win an arguement quickly.
You are explaining something to your friends and
they are looking at another direction.
Anytime you yawn and a dog beside you begins to
bark.
You want to kiss your girlfriend and she tells you, "I
don't like kissing".
You want to whisper to your friend's ear and he/she
starts begging you that he/she already knows what
you wanted to say.
You try to sing for a little baby and he/she starts
crying.
Your pastor is praying for everybody in the church,
when it gets to your turn, he will instruct you not to
say Amen.
WHEN YOU NOTICE ALL THESE, CONSULT A
DENTIST ASAP!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-04 16:03:45

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