Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

The gift [Read it]


There was a boy named tobi,he was in js2 his dad told him dat in dis 1st term u must be 1st and i av a gift 4 u so d boy came 1st hìs father gave him a gift,2nd term he came 3rd hìs father gave him 3 gifts,3rd term he came 33rd then his father asked him why he came 33rd he told his that he want to collect 33 gifts. Thank you








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-27 11:12:17

570 Views




A youth corper was part of the invigillators in a WAEC GCE exam holding in the school he is serving, right inside the hall when the exam was on going, one sexy gal who was wearing a very short skirt and looking gorgeous was cutting eye for the corper, giving him a seductive look, so he went straight to the gal to find out what her problem was. The corper gave the gal d solution to the mathematics question. So, after the exam, the Corper followed d gal up to arrange of how they would meet and the gal said: do u think I'm a prostitute? All those actions I was displaying for u in the hall are fake oooo, thats my boyfriend waiting for me.. Mugu!..and she laughed!.... The Corper laughed too and said: do u think I read Mathematics? I studied Yoruba in school, all those answers I gave to you are formulated and fake!............ The Girl Screamed n Fainted!!!!!! =))


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-17 22:37:55

371 Views




Akpos went to the bar with his girlfriend. suddenly he said "I love you so much, I could never live without you."
The girl asked surprisingly


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-28 08:08:47

1292 Views



I'M ON DRUGS S [Read it]


A policeman was walking with
his sniffer dog. Suddenly, the
dog ran to a guy by the corner
of the road, then runs back to
the policeman barking. The
policeman went to meet the guy and this conversation
ensued... POLICEMAN: This dog tells me
you're on drugs GUY: I'm on drugs? You're the
one talking to a dog.
#BOLLYSHOW™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-24 00:07:02

286 Views




The best contraceptive is a glass of cold water: not before or after, but instead.Related

crazy spending [Read it]


A Golden Wrist watch for 400 k ...b
... will it show the time jesus is coming?
bathing soap for 80 k ...
... can it wash away ur sins & sorrows?
sun glasses for 300 k ....
...shebi u wil see the future with it?
bathroom slippers for 150 k .....
...OMG!! wil u walk on water with it?
plasma TV for 700 k ....
.... guy do u want to watch judgement day live on the last day?
Gold Plated mobile phone for 30 million ...
.... hmm! can u call & answer heaven's call with it?
italian wallet for 5.5 million...
....biq boy ..u want to put ur life inside ..abi?
3 million per month in the university ...
... see u...will they make u CBN president after graduation

u pay 2 million for a chair @ akpos comedy show ...
which kyn laugh u wan laugh wey u neva laugh b4..(u no even laf dis one finish)...
_____
oya letz laugh together now
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha___
beta thunder fire u dey if u dnt finish dat laugh & comment fast...



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-05 12:40:24

412 Views




He counted the money again. It was N5000.

He reached into his bag again. At the same corner he found the money, he saw a piece of paper.

He spread it out and read it slowly.

Two sentences:

From Ore. I’m sorry.

He did not understand. He did not know what she was sorry for.

For touching him at night and taking his erect penis into her mouth?

He wasn’t really angry about that.

He liked her. Just not enough to cheat on his wife with her.

He told Ahanna about the money.

For once he didn’t make joke.

He told him what they needed to do. They have to start something with it. No matter how small.

But what can they really start with just N5000.

Obinna quickly provided the answer.

Ahanna liked the idea. He smiled, shook his hand and called him Bill Gates.

They bought a large bowl from a nearby plastics’ store.

Then Obinna followed the other Lacasera boys to the large store where they got their supplies from, and Ahanna to a big provisions’ store to get a carton of Gala.

Obinna bought ice cubes and poured over his Lacasera bottles now arranged in the new bowl. Ahanna tore open part of the Gala carton.

With that they entered the street and sales began.

It was tough at the beginning.

When the sun had risen far overhead, its stinging rays felt like fire on their skin.

They lost their voices screaming out to buyers.

Other more experienced Gala and Lacasera boys scowled at them and called them names.

They told Ahanna he was too old, and often made jokes that his Gala has expired. So he had to spend extra time convincing the intending buyer that the boys were only making joke.

But Obinna was expert at selling.

He did not scream too much. He knew he needed not to. With his cute smile and subtle eye movements he can have you feeling thirsty for his Lacasera when you are actually not.

They sold more when the traffic was heavy, with impatient drivers honking and cursing at one another.

‘Cold Lacasera?’ Obinna would say, presenting a bottle of amber-coloured liquid. He would smile at the person, his eyes slightly hooded, as though there was something in his Lacasera that he was sure the person needed to be whole again.

Mostly, the person would cast a curious a glance, and most times they’d call him and buy, including the drivers, but never their conductors who seem to share a strong affinity with water in transparent sachets.

He sold more at Barracks Bus Stop, so he went there often.

***

Some months passed and they had made a tenfold of the money they started with.

Ahanna trusted him with the money. He was scared another Okechukwu might come along someday and use juju or whatever it was they used on him before again, because he yet couldn’t believe he had fallen so stupidly for their prank at that time. With his over four years of staying in Lagos.

Obinna kept the money well.

Not even Ahanna knew where he kept it.

One Sunday afternoon, as he moved along the stiff traffic, the window of a black BMW rolled down and a beckoning hand appeared from it.

He ran to the clean car with his bowl of cold Lacasera and now Coke and Fanta and Pepsi—he’d gotten a bigger bowl too.

A dark man asked him to give the kids at the back what they wanted.

There were three kids and they all wanted Coke.

But he had only two left.

‘You can go, we’ll call another,’ the man said.

He took the two bottles he had and thrust into the kids’ hands.

Then he ran, flung his fingers into the bowl of a nearby trader to collect one more and threw out a N100 note at him.

The man paid him and he thanked him with a smile.

Probably it was the smile that made the man give him a second look.

He didn’t notice though; he was folding his money underneath the others and was soon off to another customer. A lady in a bus wanted bottled water.

The traffic has started moving now and he was surprised car honks still filled the air.

He turned and saw that the man’s car was not moving and the cars behind him were about to devour him with their honks and curses.

He ran back to the man’s car and discovered the vehicle’s engine could not come on. In his manner of being in control at all times he quickly dropped his bowl on the car roof and signalled to the man to open his bonnet.

The man, dark with shaved head, nodded— that prompt nod of desperation.

He rushed to the front of the car and lifted the shiny black sheet of metal. He did a few checks, his fingers moving swiftly across the many wired components.

A few seconds and he signalled to the man again.

The man turned the ignition, but nothing happened.

He ran to the back and pushed the car to a start.

The man revved up his engine and moved.

Carrying back his bowl, he saw an extended hand wave at him from the car and nodded.

But then he looked again and saw the car was stopping, the man’s hand still waving. He ran back to the car.

‘Thank you very much,’ the man said.

‘It’s nothing, Sir.’

‘What’s your name?’

‘Obinna, Sir.’

‘Ok. My name is Ade.’ He turned to pick something from his glove box.

Obinna was surprised the man hadn’t used a title to address himself. A man in a car as big as that should have something attached to his name at least—Chief, Dr, Engr. or even the dry and ordinary Mr.

‘Here is my card,’ the man said, extending it.

He took the card. ‘Thank you, Sir.’

‘Give me a call whenever you need anything, ok?’

He nodded. ‘Thank you, Sir.’

He told Ahanna about it late at night and he only hissed and told him it was very common for big men to give out their cards whenever a poor man helped them.

That it meant nothing and the man won’t probably remember his name when he calls him.

Obinna shook his head in disbelief but still kept the card.

In the morning, he put it inside the inner pocket of his bag.

***

At school, Adaku’s relationship with Felix blossomed.

It was now obvious to the other students, and the lecturers too, that they were in the akada group; the students who regularly used the library, bought all hand-outs and read all night.

The students who sat in the front during lectures, never missed any and whose hands always go up whenever a lecturer asked a question. The students who aid other students with their assignments and everyone struggled to sit nearby during exams.

The akadas.

Though Adaku was not like the typical akadas that usually segregate themselves from the rest of the class. She played and joked with everyone and only got serious when she needed to be.

Of course, as a Zoo student, there was no way you could survive without being any zoological in behaviour.

Even Felix has come to learn this. He was now course rep and without the jokes and frequent plays, the other male students would have meted out a good dose of frustration to him.

He’d told Ada that he’d chosen Zoology just to get at his dad, who thought because he was a successful medical doctor and owned a chain of clinics in major cities across the country, that all his kids must study medicine.

‘So you chose to be the odd one out,’ Adaku had said after hearing his story, appearing neither surprised nor impressed.

That had made him curious.

He seemed now to enjoy everything about his department though: his crazy course mates, the jovial lecturers, their newly-completed laboratory near Admin Block and one particular loud boy called Okwe who could form a joke out of anything.

But most especially was his relationship with Adaku Onochie, his reading mate.

And this evening that he was finally coming to visit her in her lodge in Temp-Site, they might as well do more than reading.

He’d like them to.


FIFTEEN

A knock came on the door.

Adaku thought it was Debby. She probably had smelt her Jollof rice too, like she did her Okro soup the other day.

Surprise came on her face when she opened the door and it was Felix.

‘How did you locate my room?’ she asked.

He smiled and slapped the wall above him. ‘Block D, Room 8.’

Adaku returned the smile. ‘Come in.’

He entered, his eyes scanning the room.

Adaku suddenly felt him different. He appeared suddenly larger, taller, older, in many ways different from the way he looked at school.

Maybe it was because he wasn’t carrying his signature backpack now.

She pulled a chair for him and he sat. They talked about school while she finished with the food.

Some minutes after, she dropped a plate of steaming, red-coloured rice and fish on the table before him. He complained that the food was too big and she only gave him a face.

As he ate, she left the room to Debby and Candy’s room to borrow a chair.

Debby asked her why she needed an extra chair.

‘I have a visitor,’ Ada replied, lifting the chair.

‘Oh, one of your girls from church came?’ Candy asked, her eyes not leaving her new Sagem My X-2 cell phone

At the door, Adaku turned to her. ‘No, a good friend of mine from school came. And he is a guy.’

The two girls exchanged surprised glances as Ada disappeared out of the room.

Back in her room, she came to join Felix on the table with her own plate of rice.

‘Why give me this tall heap and dish out so little for yourself?’ Felix said to her.

‘I cooked the food, remember?’ Adaku said.

‘Oh, you’ve had a smoke’s fill, I get it.’

She smiled. She particularly enjoyed his wit. After the food, he said he wanted to stretch out on the bed.

He did while she cleared the table.

When she was done, she came back to her seat at the table.

The silence dragged.

Felix tapped the mattress, beside his upright knee. ‘I think you’d feel more comfortable on the bed and I know you think so too, don’t you?’

Adaku smiled and asked him about their coming trip to Ibadan instead.

A NAZS conference was coming up at the University of Ibadan and both of them have been selected to represent their department.

‘Do you look forward to it?’ she asked him.

‘Not really,’ he said, sitting up, now with his back to the pillow. ‘Have you been to Ibadan before?’ he asked her.

She shook her head. ‘No. You?’

‘I was born there.’

She seemed slightly surprised at first, and then she remembered she’d heard him say Yoruba words before. With another course mate of theirs, Muyiwa, who was Yoruba.

‘Come and sit on the bed,’ he said, pulling back to rest his back to the wall.

She stood and went to sit at the edge of the bed.

He stared at her.

For the first time Adaku felt uncomfortable under his gaze.

He pulled out of the bed and took her hand.

He rubbed it. Her skin was soft and smooth. ‘I like you, Ada,’ he said, his voice deeper than it usually were, meaning the words.

She took back her hand quickly as if his fingers had stung her. ‘You can’t like me, Felix,’ she said.

‘Why?’ He appeared surprised at first, but the next second his lips curved in a small smile, getting her curious. ‘I know, right,’ he said. ‘You are a badass, an unrepentant Marxist no son of a rich man should come close to, but I still like you.’

She was looking at him, saying nothing.

He took her hand again. He was moving in to kiss her when she pushed him back, gently. ‘You don’t get it, Felix. You can’t like me because I am a married woman.’

He set curious eyes on her for some seconds and then started to laugh. ‘You, a married woman, how possible!’

She stood. ‘How far is Lagos from Ibadan?’ she asked him instead.

‘Not so far, why do you want to know?’

‘Because that’s where my husband is.’

Every iota of amusement cleared from Felix’s face at once!



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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MY WORLD OF FANTASY
POEM BY
FRANK UCHE A.K.A ATTITUDE
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading...

My world OF deep fantasy
In my mind.....filled with ecstasy
An imaginary visuality
That can never be reality
Is it just an illusion.....i wonder
I desire to stay in it a bit longer
Ensnared outside the tin walls of reality...........trance
Through my sleepy eyes I took a peep.............glance
The rays of the morning sun graced my sight
Oh!!just a dream of fantasy......an ecstatic night.
MY WORLD OF FANTASY
MY NAME IS FRANK UCHE AKA ATTITUDE AND I WROTE THIS POEM. THANKS FOR READING.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-09-03 11:33:13

160 Views



?? ??? ? …. [Read it]


?? ??? ??? ?? ?????…


???? ???? ??? ?? :- ???? ?? ??? ??? ?????
???-??? ?????? ?????? ?? ?? ???..!!
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??? :- ??? ?? ????????????????



????????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????Related

One evening the prison door opened,the master entered,took off their shackles and ordered them to spread out the corner cobs piled up in front of the door,obediently and bravely, they immediately started working, the master was satisfied and set off for his meal,they both look up a corner cob from the pile and ....they stopped, they were alone no chains on their legs,they gave each other a meaningful glance,another look round:no one sight,it was now or never.

Hand in hand they jumped to their feet like springs and raced towards the open country,they never turned round or took a breath,but run and run until they reached the forest, courageously they entered it urged on by their desire to escape.

The darkness of the forest became thicker as the darkness of night fell,the two escapees made their way through the bushes and kept going without giving themselves a break

"In the dark of that night,when we heard the roar of animals we jumped up on the trees to save ourselves "

Atlanta a certain moment they heard the sound of dry twigs and leaves being trodden on,moving in their they stopped and Bakhita understood immediately "a beast" she exclaimed, "up" with a leap they took hold of a large tree and climbed up.

When they reached a high branch,they tried to balance themselves, dumb with fear,concealed in the leaves,they held their breath

Amara lion stopped at the foot of the tree,raised his fearful jaws and then lowered them,sniffed the air and slowly moved away into the dense forest.

The children gave the beast sufficient time to move away and then they climbed down to the ground,happy to have even over come a lion they started to run again with renewed courage,all too soon as gust of wind brought to their ears the typical noise of a caravan on the move,more afraid then ever,they hid behind a bush and observed the caravan passing in front of them,fortunately, no one noticed them.
"God alone protected us,nobody else" reflected Bakhita

They continued their journey,the forest was followed by stepped,desert areas and all of them dangerous :the former,for the beasts and serpents and the latter,the more frightening danger,from their pursuers.

Finally, almost buried amid green of the forest,they caught sight of a village, their ? Without saying a word,they looked each has other in eye and although overcome by tiredness and hunger,they started running again.

All of a sudden a man appeared from nowhere and barred the way then he asked kindly "where are you going,lovely children? "
We were silent
"Tell me, where do you want to go"

NEXT EPISODE

>>

THE FINAL EPISODE

Mary was buried early the next day {Tuesday} in her
hometown. She was buried so fast because she was
nothing but an unmarried lady, with little or no formalities required in laying her to rest.
Chioma and i paid our last respect by being present in
the burial ceremony which was well attended by her
church members, friends and colleagues. It was quite
an emotional event.
Her family members were quite unconsolable expecially the elder sister who almost killed herself with grief.
“We shouldn’t question God because he knows the best
for us. God has a reason for calling Sister Mary. Be rest
assured that she’s happy with the Lord” The Rev. In
charge of the ceremony preached as her coffin was
lowered into the ground. “i really can’t believe all that has happened since i met
you” chioma cried and hugged me, hiding her face
filled with tears on my chest.
“what next?” she asked solemnly,
“our happiness is next my love” i answered with deep
passion. ______
Very early the next day we headed to see Chioma’s
pastor who listened attentively to the conclusion of my
story.
“you see God has a reason for showing me that
revelation. You were very lucky you got to the girl on time and she forgave you before dying. Seriously i can’t
imagine what could have happened supposing she died
with the pain you inflicted on her.
This should be a lesson to young men. All that glitters
isn’t gold. Let’s praise the Lord” the pastor said with
infinite grace…. ______
Finally Chioma and I did our traditional marriage on the
25th of december as scheduled and equally did the
church ceremony on holy saturday{Easter saturday} the
following year.
By November {few months later} we had a bouncing baby boy which sealed my happiness.
However i still do remember Mary and my friend Jboy
till today. Everything about them is still very fresh in my
mind. I always cry each time i remember my story with
Mary, and as for my son. This story will be the first he
will ever get from me…… I was lucky to survive.. Please be wise in all you do.

.......THE END……

Gentlemen,please be careful the way you deal with the
female counterpart.The pleasure you derive from sex of
5mins from someone who isnt your wife can ruin your
life forever.Too many broken hearts,in conjunction with the aborted babies because of you,can retard your
progress in the future.
I believe everybody
knows what is good and what is bad.
THANKS FOR FOLLOWING.its been a long ride.
God bless you
Did you learn anything from the story?


Hearing a knock on my door I opened the door. Grey was nearly dressed in jeans with a hoodie. It was an good way of going undetected. I let him into my room taking I the full effect he had on me. He reached and held me in his arms as he pressed his lips to mine. I held the sides of his face pulling him closer. In the back of my one I was preparing to let him go but my heart wanted him now. His arms slid around my waist and he pulled me closer, deepening the kiss.

My mind was feeling me to let him go but my hands gripping his shirt refused to push him away. I knew it was wrong but it felt so right. He broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against mine. He was breathing hard.

"If I get that type of greeting I'll leave more often," he joked with a teasing smile that made my knees go weak.

I could smile back and pretend everything was okay when it wasn't so instead I leaned forward and kissed him hard. He didn't hesitate. He gripped the sides of my face as his tongue swept into my mouth, twirling with mine while my body came alive.

This time when he stopped kissing me and pulled away gently I frowned. I wanted him despite my conscience but he didn't seem to want me and it hurt.

"I need a moment," he whispered to me.

"Why?" I asked taking a step backward and crossing my arms.

"Because if you keep kissing me like that I'm not going to be able to stop," he explained. His big expressive eyes held mine.

Wow! Inside I felt giddy. He wanted me as much as I wanted him.

I knew it was wrong but for one moment I wanted to be selfish. My mom had gone out for a couple of hours so we were alone in the house with time on our hands.

He gave me a questioning look when he saw my serious look. I didn't want to die a virgin. I wanted to be able to experience being with someone. There was no one that I would rather do that with than the guy that was standing in front of me now. He had my heart, it was only right he be the one.

The nagging voice in the back of my mind reminded me that I had to let him go but I reasoned with myself. I only wanted this one last thing from him and then I promised myself I would let him go.

This moment I wanted for myself. I'd always wondered what it would be like and I wanted to know now.

Taking a step closer he frowned.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I lifted myself up onto my tiptoes and pressed my mouth to his. My arms wrapped around his neck pulling him closer.

He let me lead the kiss. His hands settled on my hips and pulled me closer. It felt so right. I caressed his tongue with mine and he groaned against my lips. But then he pulled away but I refused to release my hold around his neck.

"I'm barely hanging on," he whispered to me and I smiled. I loved the fact that I could reduce him to this.

"Then don't. I want you," I stated. His eyes pierced mine. I wanted this with him so badly and he wanted it as well. What was the problem?

"We don't have to rush this."

His words cut right through me. The reminder of my illness stole my moment of happiness and anticipation.

"I might not have time," I argued.

Wanting to believe that I would make it through didn't turn it into reality. There was a good chance that I wouldn't make it through and I didn't want to die without experiencing this something with him. It wouldn't just be a physical act. The way we felt about each other made it so much more special and I wanted that connection with him.

He studied me for a moment.

"I can't believe that," he said softly. I understood that he couldn't believe that I would be taken from him but people died everyday.

"I want you to love me," I told him. "I want you to be the person I share this with."

There was a battle going on inside of him. One part of him didn't want to rush into it, believing there would be time. But the other part of him that did want to was looking at the whole situation with a realistic attitude.

"Please," I whispered searching his expression for an idea of what he'd decided to do

"But your mom-"

"She is out and she won't be back for a couple of hours."

There were no excuses.

I saw the indecision in his eyes again so I decided to give him a nudge in the right direction. I lifted myself up onto my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his again.

That did it. The moment I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me close I knew I'd won. His lips moved against mine with a purpose and I loved the feel of him taking control.

His hands slid up my shirt and caressed my sides. I felt a flutter of excitement and anticipation. He broke the kiss and reached for the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head. My eyes feasted over his naked torso. I'd seen him half naked before when he'd been swimming but being up close and personal with him and being able to run my hands over his muscles was something else.

Our eyes held each other as I reached for my shirt and discarded it on the floor. His eyes swept over me and I felt alive wanting and needing more. The closeness of his skin against mine made my skin tingle as his hand held my hips and brought us close together.

This time when his lips touched mine there was a hunger and a desperate need. His kiss was harder and more demanding as his tongue tangled with mine. My stomach fluttered in excitement. I knew what sex was about but I'd never done it before. I wanted to have this with him but I felt a moment's hesitation like any virgin would.

Sensing it he lifted his lips.

"Are you sure?" he asked and I nodded my head. I unzipped my jeans and removed them to show him that I wasn't going to back out. Once I took of my jeans my hands reached for the button of his jeans. It took moments for him to remove them.

Down to our underwear he lay me down on my bed and I ran the tip of my tongue across my bottom lip as he surveyed me. His eyes sweeping over every inch of my body that made my skin tingle under his heated gaze.

He covered my body with his and kissed me. My legs wrapped around his body feeling him against me. His lips made a path down my body with soft kisses that made me groan.

"Are you sure?" he asked for the second time giving me an opportunity to put a stop to it. But in my mind there was no going back.

I didn't question why he had a condom in his wallet. All that mattered was that he was going to be my first. With that thought in my mind we removed the rest of our clothing. Breathing hard we joined together and I felt a moment of pain. But it didn't last long.

I would never forget how he loved every inch of me and when I finally came I felt it was over me with an intensity I'd never felt before. My arms wrapped around him when I felt him tense and then he came as well. Afterward he kissed my forehead and I gave him a lazy smile.

"I didn't think it was possible but I think I love you more," he whispered and I felt the words tug at my heart and at the nagging voice is managed to silence up until then.

I didn't want him to love me more. That hadn't been the plan. I felt a pang of guilt when he got up and disappeared into my bathroom for a few minutes. Looking up to the ceiling I tried to ease my guilt. I was happy I'd been able to have this moment with him and for the moment I didn't want to think about my tumor or the guilt of what I was going to do to Grey.

At the thought of him he reappeared in my room and walked over to the bed. He was gorgeous and my eyes raked over him appreciatively before he got into the bed with me. He reached for me and I lay my head on his chest as he hugged me close.

For a little while I pushed all thoughts from my mind and just enjoyed a peaceful moment with the boy I loved.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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MARA episode 27 [Read it]


“He works in way, we cannot see, he will make a way for us, he will be our guide, holds us closely to his side, with love and strength for each new day…” he started singing again, sonorously as he stood up
What an elegant height!
I surrender to you Lord.
“Let’s go home son” I said and he smiled widely as I held his hands warmly
I felt like he was a part of me that had been long lost.
I felt like he was just a part of me
God will take care of us.
He will!
As I held my baby in my arms, I pecked his small face and he smiled
“I name him Daniel. My Daniel” Daniel said and I laughed
“Yes Daniel!” I agreed as I smiled again
As we were set to leave, I placed Daniel’s hand in Doctor Flora’s hand and she looked into my face, giving me a shy look
“What?” I asked and she looked away
I was confused
“Is she a doctor?” Daniel asked and I smiled, looking awe
“Yes she is” I replied
Flora smiled
“Are you from America?” she asked and he nodded
“Yes. You know me?” he asked
“Daniel Williams right?” she asked again and I looked into Daniel’s face.
He looked perplexed
“Yes that’s my name. You know me?” he asked again
Doctor Flora shrugged
“Somehow. But the last time I knew about you, you could see. What happened to your sight?” she asked and I gave her ‘You shouldn’t have asked jare’ look
“You know me?” that was what he asked again
She smiled
“It seems so. But we’ve got to do something about your sight first. Madam, go home and let me meet with certain optician friends in Abuja. This has to be attended too” she said, left his hand and walked out of the church hurriedly
I was dazed
“Have you been to Nigeria before?” I asked him and he shook his head
“God is great” Pastor said and that was when I realized that he was still standing with us.
I looked into his face and he was grinning happily
Was there something I didn’t know about?
“Is her name Flora?” Daniel asked again and I could only nod
How did he know?
“You know her from somewhere?” I asked
He shook his head
“I just guessed” he shrugged
“Let’s go home boy” the pastor said as he held his hand, looking so excited
I followed behind foolishly and wondered what everything was all about
“The Lord is just too great. Miracles falling upon miracles, all in a day!” he exclaimed happily
“Halleluyah!” Daniel said too
I became jealous
“I thought he said I was his mother” I whispered to myself
“I love you mum” he grinned
I gasped
I had totally forgotten that I had a mind reader beside me
It sucks!
….but in a cool way!
I smiled
>>>>>>>>>>>>
I opened the freezer and my heart jumped into my mouth
“Oluwa ooo” I exclaimed and my husband jumped in
“What’s it?” he asked and I stood with my arms akimbo
“Jare, I placed four cartons of fish here yesterday so the caterers would work with them today but now it’s three I can find in here. Oh my God!” I exclaimed loudly and my husband smiled as he clapped his hands together in a mocking manner
“Ololufe mi, don’t kill yourself with hypertension o” he said and I became infuriated
“Do you know how much the fish costs? The fish are not the Nigerian type. They are shipped in from Brazil” I explained on and Adejare looked on in awe
“Madam Story! Were you not the one that asked me to take a carton out so I could boil and grind for you to make Moin-moin this morning?” he asked and I opened my eyes wide
I had totally forgotten
“Sorry” I said, smiling sheepishly
He brushed my nose with the tip of his index finger
I was tickled
“You are already growing old” he said and I smiled
“Then you are growing older” I said
“Really!”
“Really!” I replied
“Well, the older we go together, the greater our love would be” he said and I looked into his face amazingly
This obviously couldn’t be my husband
“Amen” I said slowly and he pulled me closer to himself
He planted a kiss on my forehead
“I thank God for your life. This past one year have really been like a honeymoon to me” he said and I smiled great peace in my soul.
“Glory to God alone. If not God, who could it be?” I asked
Daniel ran inside and came directly to me.
He tugged at my wrapper and I picked him up.
“Mamma mamma…” he repeated as he pulled at my blouse
“Suckie suckie” I played with his mouth
My husband shook his head as he twisted his mouth to a side
“This old man isn’t even shy to start sucking… zame on you” he joked and we laughed about it as my baby boy feasted on his fleshy food while my husband looked away shyly
“Na you sabi” I said, smiling as I backed him
I heard some clapping and the curtain was drawn
It was Doctor Flora
“Amairiya!” we echoed together as she entered, beautifully clad in very nice traditional attire
She blushed and covered her face
“I go love o…see my old papa and mama playing love here ooo”


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Call from a bank….

“Hello Mam”.
We are offering you credit card with best deals!!!.
1. No annual charges
2. No interest on balance for three months
3. Big credit limit
4. No penalties for over spending.

Smart reply by the my wife
” No thanks “.
I have husband…
1. With no lifetime charges
2. No spending limit
3. No penalties and the most important is
4. No repayment forever.

Line cut without a word????????????????Related

“Start the ignition!” Shina barked
at the man at the wheels. He
obeyed immediately. The engine
roared to life, making a very
silent and barely audible
humming sound. Iyke and
Francis watched Shina closely,
desperately trying to know what
stage of the plan they were at.
Shina was not scared of the two
criminals despite their menacing
look, especially Iyke. Iyke had a
deep scar that ran from his
forehead through the middle of
his eyes and stopped just by his
left nostril. A scar he had gotten
while in a brawl with a ‘friend’
who owed him money. His friend
had come at him with a matchet.
He had just his hands. That was
how he got the scar. He served
four years in jail because of that
incident. He was lucky. His friend
wasn’t. His friend currently lived
in a permanent wing in a federal
hospital popularly called Igbobi.
He was paralyzed from the neck
down. Iyke was a brute. He did
not fear anything or anyone.
People shook and trembled at
the sight of him. Even Francis
secretly feared him. And when he
got angry every one took to their
heels. But not Shina. Shina
detested him. Shina could finish
him with just a phone call. In a
way, Iyke knew he did not
intimidate Shina. He did not
know what kind of strings Shina
pulled. He was always keeping
his distance from him. Somehow,
THE GHOSTS had a way of putting
up the perfect team for an
operation. Shina was the head
for this mission. A smooth,
calculating man, never under
pressure and always with back
up plans A – Z, no matter the
situation. Francis was the very
handsome and sexy serial killer.
He loved to kill pretty women for
fun. He was never caught. When
he was accosted by The Ghosts
he had no choice. They could
give him away. They offered him
good money, a good home and a
family. And they were letting him
kill once in a while. He was
satisfied. Iyke the brute. The kind
of thug you need when the
situation gets tough and needs a
deal of rough handling. No one
does it better than Iyke.
Iyke was getting irritated at
Shina’s silence.
“Oga, wetin dey happen na? You
just keep us for silent since.
Which ones na? Abeg wetin be
scores? How e dey go? Time don
reach to arrange the baggas?”
He barked.
Shina just smiled. A kind of smile
that could annoy the meekest of
men.
“Move to the pick-up point.
Now!” he said to the driver
raising his voice with his left
hand still pressed to his ear.
He looked at the two men at the
back, then said,
“Beauty has got the girl. We are
moving in to pick them up. We
expect no incidence. This should
be as easy as dipping a hot knife
through butter. But if anything
comes up you know what to do.
Iyke, stay alert. Francis, you have
your orders.”
Francis was relaxing with his
hands across his chest and his
eyes closed. His back was resting
firmly on d seat and when Shina
spoke he just nodded, his eyes
were still closed. Iyke was almost
falling off the edge of his seat in
his eagerness to pick up every
word Shina spoke. The jeep
moved slowly and turned right
towards the waterside. It turned
again, reversed and re-parked
facing the traffic light. They were
looking directly at FourPoints by
Sheraton with the back door exit
of Oriental Hotels to their left.
They waited.
Beauty, the pretty woman in
glasses opened the bathroom
door and entered. She moved to
the last cubicle, entered and
gently folded the handkerchief
into place. She listened carefully
as Eva stepped out of her own
cubicle and approached the
central mirror, admiring herself
and adjudging the extent of
cleanup she had done. She felt
contented. She looked into her
purse.
Beauty stepped out quietly and
approached Eva from behind. She
took four quick steps. Eva
brought her head up from the
bag and noticed someone in the
mirror coming at her. She saw
her too late. Beauty placed the
handkerchief on Eva’s nose,
making her inhale every bit of
the handkerchief. There was very
little struggle. Beauty dragged
her into the cubicle she was in.
She felt Eva’s pulse. Normal.
Things were going according to
plan. She brought out a tiny
whitish substance and put it into
Eva’s nostrils. She jerked as
though she had just come out of
a nightmare. Eva regained
consciousness. She was weak.
“Who…who…who are you? What
do you want?” Eva said, looking
at Beauty. She was very afraid.
“Do you want to die, dearie?”
Beauty asked rhetorically, her
face totally hard.
“No ma. Please I don’t.” Eva
begged.
“Then listen to me very carefully.
Do you inderstand me?” She
asked.
Eva nodded.
“Do exactly as I say and no harm
will come to you or your uncle in
Gbagda. We also know your
mother lives in Ajegunle and
goes to church by 6pm on
Fridays. Your younger brother
attends the University of Lagos.
He stays in Jaja Hall, Room B212.
We know everything about you
Eva Makinde. We just need you to
help us with some information.
Thereafter you would be free to
go. If you make any funny moves,
we will poison Kunle. We have
people everywhere and we are
invisible. You would be released
in the morning. Try any funny
moves and the death of every
person you love and cherish
would be on your head. Can you
live with that? Do you want
that?” Beauty asked
threateningly.
Eva shook her head again.
Beauty had made her point.
She continued, “Now you will
follow me and make a very sickly
face. I will do all the talking. Don’t
say a word. Where is your
phone?”
“It’s here ma.” Eva said very
frightened.
“When I tell you, you will call
Kunle and tell him you had to go.
Your mum called and she is very
sick. He won’t be too bothered.
We have handled everything.”
Beauty finished.
“Okay ma.”
“Good.” “I have got the package.
Meet me at the pickup spot in
five.” Beauty said to her collar.
“Let’s go.” She commanded.
They went through the back,
passed a corridor and took a left.
She held Eva’s hand as they
moved through a maze of
corridors and doors. Finally they
got to the emergency exit. There
was a Mopol with a rifle. Shiiitt!!!
This was not planned. Beauty
wanted to turn back but there
was no time to. The man had
already seen them and she could
not risk raising an alarm. She
decided to risk it. She
approached the police officer.
“Please Oga, my sister is
pregnant. And she is feeling
dizzy. She needs fresh air. She
might faint any moment from
now. We were in the bathroom
and we lost our way trying to get
outside to get fresh air. That is
the only way she would be
better.” Beauty begged.
The police officer scrutinized
them. They looked exceptionally
dressed. He looked at Eva’s
stomach. There was no bulge.
Eva was supporting herself on
Beauty’s arm participating in the
drama.
“Wia una dey come from!” The
Mopol said eyeing both of them.
“We are from the CEO’s party in
the hall. Please sir, help us.”
Beauty begged.
Just then Eva contorted her face
and vomited on the floor close to
the man’s feet. Beauty patted her
and looked at the man. The man
dropped his rifle and began to
open the very difficult emergency
exit. Beauty took the gun and hit
him on the head with the butt.
He passed out falling on the
ground. Eva was shocked. Beauty
smiled at her.
Beauty spoke to her collar again.
“I encountered some hindrance.
He won’t be out for long. I need
evacuation now! I’m at the
zone.”
Shina signaled Iyke and he was
out in a flash. Iyke jogged to the
door and inserted a duplicate key
into the lock. He opened the door
from outside and the two
women stepped out. As Iyke was
shutting the door the Mopol
groaned. He was regaining
consciousness. Iyke dragged him
out and locked the door. He
collected the handkerchief from
beauty and emptied the contents
of her bottle onto the
handkerchief. He gagged the
mopol who was writhing and
shaking his legs. Iyke’s arm was
around his throat while his othe
palm forcefully pressed the cloth
on the mopol’s nose. After a
while, all became still. Iyke locked
the door and threw the mopol’s
body into the water.
They moved to the car and all
three got inside.
“Drive.” Shina directed.
They drove in silence. As they
approached Civic Center, Shina
nodded at Beauty. Beauty got out
Eva’s phone and told her to call
Kunle as planned. It took a while
for him to pick. He explained that
he was talking with his superiors
and asked where she was. She
explained that she was currently
in a cab going to see her mother
at Eko Hospital. She had suffered
another attack. He felt bad. His
proposal had to wait. He did not
pressure her to coming back. His
superiors were looking at him.
He asked her to be safe and that
he would be with her soon. He
did not plan to be.
They got to the traffic light at law
school and took their right into a
rough road where fish mongers
sold during the day. They parked
by the lagoon and every one
came down except the driver.
“The car was becoming too
heavy. We need one less
passenger. Francis, you know
what to do.” Shina said. He
nodded to Francis.
Francis smiled. He brought out
his .23 automatic. It was a
silenced pistol. He aimed at
Beauty and took her with one
clean shot. He got her in the
chest. She fell to the ground
lifeless. Eva was shocked. Iyke
had a grin. Iyke made to took her
jewelry. Shina stopped him.
“She was an undercover spy. A
double agent. What a waste.” He
spat on her body. Iyke deposited
her body in the water and
watched it float.
He came back to join Shina and
the rest in the car. Francis was
caressing his pistol that had just
carried out the hit and smiling to
himself. He would jerk off
tonight, thinking about the dead
body of beauty. He was happy.
Shina removed the earphone
from his left ear and said to no
one in particular
“Let’s go home”


>>

Instead of learning unconditional Love, Faithfulness, Honesty and Loyalty from dogs –

.

..



….

the only thing we learn is their ‘Postion’!Related

A guy on a date [Read it]


A guy on a date with a brand new Range Rover Evoque, riding with his Ghanaian babe.
Guy: I have been hiding a secret from you and i think you will break this relationship if I tell u.
Girl: what is it my love??
Guy: I’m an SS (sickler) and HIV positive.
Girl: (Hitting d guy on d lap), you almost scared me! Thought you wanted to say this Range Rover you are driving isn’t yours… Eii…lol


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-18 23:25:57

607 Views



leave a note [Read it]


I paid a visit to the house of one of my friends called Dizzy. On reaching there, his Mother said, ''Kwame, your friend Dizzy went out about one hour ago. Would you like to leave a note for him?''

I replied, ''I would have loved to Ma, but all I have is an 100 Naira note my mother gave me to buy recharge card and I can’t part with it.''




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-20 10:40:50

504 Views



#otondo [Read it]


Guy 1: Bros, abeg borrow me your phone to call my girlfriend, I no get credit now.
Guy 2: No problem, just dey quick (hands phone to friend)
Guy 1: Thank you guy. (dials girlfriend's number, makes a quick phone call and then returns happy and excited)
Guy 1: O boy, this your phone na correct phone oh, shebi na bb?
Guy 2: Yes oh, na blackberry smart phone.
Guy 1: Kai, no wonder dem dey call am 'smart phone', the phone too know something, you believe say as I type my girlfriend number for your phone come dial am, the thing show the number as 'My love', how your phone use know say na my girlfriend I dey call na only God know; chei, this your phone smart no be small!
One word for Guy 1?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-12 07:29:18

260 Views



MAD MAN [Read it]


a boy was coming bak from skull and i fink he was passing by a briedge where a mad man is standing beside d briedge shouting (13 13 13 13) so d boy was anxious to knw what d number mean so he is moving closer to d mad man unfortunately another man just came from nowhere and wanted to urinate inside d big river beneath d briedge suddenly the mad man just carried him and throw him inside d river and d mad man started shouting again (14 14 14 ) come see marathon race dis boy run , he even run pass home


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-18 21:45:17

852 Views




Santa came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife, Jeeto, with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined
to track down the father to extract revenge.


“Was it my friend Banta”, he demanded.


“No !” his weeping wife replied.


“Was it my friend Ramta then?” he asked.


“No !!!” she said even more upset.


“Well which one of my no good friends did this then?” he asked.


“Don’t you think I have any friends of my own?” Jeeto snapped.Related

A pastor was preaching
about death to his
congregation. He said,
“One day, every member
of this church is going to
die!” Akpors, who sat in the
front row laughed at the
excessively at the pastor.
The pastor repeated it. “I
said, one day, every
member of this church is going to die!” Again the
boy laughed out loud.
The irritated pastor asked
Akpors, “Son, what’s so
funny about that?”
Akpors said, “I’m not a member of this church!”one word for akpors







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-12 17:18:57

572 Views




Luke: young lady;what is going on?
Loveth: i just got tired of my mother in law yelling at me with abusive words and my husband taking side with her(he stared at her)so i poured out all my anger on her. she called me a prostitute and i call her that as well
Luke: what?
Loveth: yes
Luke: that part i do not know about you
Loveth: is not like i do that all the time
Luke: it is bad to abuse someone older than you
Loveth: i know,i just do it when i am catch in the middle and the only thing i could think of doing in order to talk my way out is to...
Luke: abuse
Loveth: i have no choice than to do it. my mother in law find out that i didn't spend the night at my dad's and i really don't know what to do at that point in time
Luke: even at that(she open the car door and come out)where are you going?
Loveth: i am free(she breath out)the air is so fresh;i feel free. everyday i spent in that house i feel like i am imprison. do you know that movie?
Luke: what movie?
Loveth: although;i haven't watch it but it is...prison break
Luke: how does it link?
Loveth: i am imprison before now but i just break through;i just break my prison walls. i am free indeed(she ran into the road)
Luke: are you crazy?what if a car hit you?do you want to die?
Loveth: don't worry no car is coming at this time of the day and as for your second question;i do not plan of doing it tonight but maybe tomorrow;next tomorrow;the day after that but definitely not(Luke stared at her)please don't give me that look
Luke: don't you want to go home now?
Loveth: no;i don't want to see the face of those tormentor
Luke: what will you do now?
Loveth: you can go home to your family. i will stay right here
Luke: i can't leave you right here?(phone ringing)hello
Nurse 1: hello doctor;you are needed at the hospital
Luke: alright(he end the call)i have to call Joan(Joan calling)hello;i was about calling you
Joan: alright;are you not coming home anymore
Luke: i am sorry;i am needed at the hospital;so i am going back
Joan: alright,take care(she end the call)
Loveth: is there any problem
Luke: i have to go back to the hospital. where will you go now?
Loveth: don't worry about me;i will just go and paint the city red
Luke: you are crazy,let me take you to your mom
Loveth: i don't want to go because i don't want my dad to become suspicious
Luke: so..
Loveth: i can come with you
Luke: you not serious right?
Loveth: i am;come on(she enter the car)
Luke: this girl is crazy(they drove to the hospital)what ward is the patient
Nurse 1: ward 102 sir
Luke: alright;please excuse me
Loveth: no problem(back to Jude)

Liz: son;why are you still up till now?
Jude: she has not returned mom
Liz: who?
Jude: my wife of cause
Liz: go to sleep and leave that prostitute alone. i am sure she with that brother of yours
Jude: mom;i can't i do not want anything to happen to her
Liz: fine;worry yourself over a useless girl that is enjoying herself
Jude: mom;please
Liz: fine suite yourself(exit Liz)
Jude: i just hope something bad doesn't happen to her(back to Loveth)

Lady: someone;help my baby. my baby is dying(she cried and Loveth walked towards her)my baby is dying
Loveth: relax woman(she get the baby from her and rubbed her palm together to produce heat in order to give the baby warm)come on baby(he hit the baby at the feet)baby(Luke walked in)sweetheart(she open her on mouth on the baby and breath into her mouth and the baby sneeze)baby(the baby cried)
Nurse 1: she is awake
Lady: thank you ma
Loveth: is nothing;just go on and get the nurse administer drugs on the baby
Lady: thank you(exit nurse and the lady with her baby)
Luke: whoa!you would be a good nurse or should i say doctor
Loveth: no way;i can't bear to see the sight of blood;i have this phobia for blood
Luke: if you were same age with me,i would had call you my twin
Loveth: you are crazy
Luke: but it is the fact
Loveth: are you not going home?
Luke: no;i will spent the night here
Loveth: you doctors are really trying because i can't spend the night away from my house
Luke: once you become one;you will get used to it
Loveth: never
Luke: alright;i want to sleep
Loveth: please don't
Luke: why?
Loveth: i can't sleep now and i don't feel like sleeping now
Luke: so what will we be doing?
Loveth: lets just talk
Luke: about what?
Loveth: anything(she saw a red rose and pick it)i love this
Luke: you love flowers
Loveth: yes;i remember back then i could cry because of this;if dad doesn't bring one for me
Luke: all for just a flower
Loveth: is not just a flower;i like it and it make be look beautiful like the princess i am
Luke: princess;do you want to share childhood memories
Loveth: my childhood is crazy but funny too. my dad little princess;i could get everything but there is only one thing my dad couldn't get me
Luke: what is that?
Loveth: siblings;been an only child is like a life time punishment and because of that i assuredly intent to punish by dad as well
Luke: why?
Loveth: is because mom said that dad doesn't want any other kids. so i spend all my time with him and he became my playmate;we go to the park together no friends;just me and dad
Luke: you are something
Loveth: the part i like best is to pretend that i am sick;when i am not,there was a day i was pretending to be sleeping so dad will carry me when he is going upstair but dad forgot about me and left me all alone by then i was deep in dreamland and when i am awake and find everywhere dark;i screamed my lungs out
Luke: you are funny
Loveth: that is not all;sometimes i do go to my parent room to sleep with them when i am scared
Luke: you such a baby
Loveth: i am not;i would had been doing all that with my siblings if i have one
Luke: you are just a spoil brat
Loveth: see who is talking;mom's boy
Luke: i maybe mom's boy but a man that can do anything for his love ones
Loveth: you wish
Luke: you do not have plans of sleeping right?
Loveth: i could talk all night just to hear you breathe
Luke: hmm
Loveth: ya ya
Luke: baby
Loveth: yes;i am not tired of talking
Luke: Loveth;lets go to bed
Loveth: i don't want to;asked me any question and i will tell you the truth
Luke: alright,why did you married Jude?
Loveth: i think we need to go to bed now
Luke: come on tell me;did you love my brother
Loveth: will you stop tormenting me
Luke: is it that difficult that you can't answer a yes or a no
Loveth: yes
Luke: hmm. what about me then?
Loveth: will you stop being silly,i am a married woman
Luke: i didn't asked about now i said then
Loveth: you?did you love me then because i wasn't even married for a long time before you got married to Joan
Luke: it was all a mistake,i got drunk and got her pregnant and i have no choice but to marry her
Loveth: um...
Luke: yep;i kept my distance but i never let go
Loveth: okay;can we still be friends
Luke: friends(he stretch out his hand and she hugged him)you are cunning
Loveth: ya ya(she smiled)
Luke: why?
Loveth i am just happy we are friends
Luke: come on;lets go inside
Loveth: no way;lets see that(she ran to the fountain)i love this(she play with the waters)come here
Luke: you such a baby
Loveth: i am not
Luke: Loveth;lets go
Loveth: alright(they walked to wards the hospital)i think i prefer here
Luke: you want to sleep here
Loveth: yes;
Luke: then i will stay with you here
Loveth: you serious
Luke: of cause(they both sat down)are you alright
Loveth: i am fine;mosquito is feasting on you,i am sorry is all my fault
Luke: is not your fault
Loveth: it is;if i wasn't here you would had been in the doctor's lodge
Luke: but i am okay here
Loveth: alright;superman thank you(he stared at her)stop that look,that look was the same with the one you had when i first kissed you
Luke: really?
Loveth: of cause(he continued staring)please stop it,you are making me uncomfortable
Luke: i love you(she paused and stared)i love you Loveth
Loveth: i want to sleep
Luke: did you hear me?i said i love you
Loveth: goodnight
Luke: alright;good night
Loveth: (she smiled)i love you too(to sleeping Luke)i really love you(curtain)

Liz: son;where are you going this early?
Jude: i am going to look for my wife
Liz: where do you intent to look for her?
Jude: i will go to her dad's house
Liz: you want to kill yourself. if her dad find out that his daughter is missing he will chop your head up
Jude: he will not do that
Liz: suite yourself(curtain)


Luke: good morning
Loveth: i love you
Luke: i love you too(she open her eyes)
Loveth: i am sorry;i was thinking it was my husband
Luke: really
Loveth: yes
Luke: okay but when i did say those words i wasn't thinking about my wife but you
Loveth: that is enough
Luke: are you not go home?
Loveth: i don't want to go to that house of monster
Luke: where do you want to go
Loveth: i want to go to my dad's
Luke: alright;i go drop you before go home
Loveth: thanks

Jude: good morning ma
Grace: morning my son;why are you here this early?
Jude: is Loveth here?
Grace: what kind of silly question is that?
Jude: ma;assuredly i was thinking she is here because since she left last night her number is not going
Grace: so my daughter left your house last night and you went to bed without looking for her?
Jude: that is why i am here
Lambert: who is there?
Grace: is Jude;he said our daughter is missing since last night
Lambert: what?how did it happen?
Jude: we have an argument and throw her out in the night(he slapped him)i am sorry sir
Lambert: you throw my daughter out in the cool? if anything happen to my daughter,i will kill you(enter Loveth/Luke)just go look for my daughter
Grace: will you get out of here?
Loveth: there is trouble
Luke: relax
Lambert: what if i call the police?
Loveth: dad(he hugged her)
Grace: thank God you are saved
Jude: so you spent the night with him
Loveth: is not your business of what i do with my life
Luke: good day sir
Lambert: little princess,who is he?why is he with the you
Loveth: he is ......


SEE MORE....


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Don't Stop [Read it]


This conversation ensued between a mother and her daughter... Mother : When a man tries to touch your breast, say Don't. Daughter : Yes mama. Mother : If he tries going down to your vagina, shout Stop... Daughter : Yes mama. I have heard you and I will do as you have rightly spoken to me. After a day, a man took this girl to his apartment, took her into his chamber and laid her on the bed. Then he started touching her breast and she told him DON'T, he then moved his hand down to her vagina and she shouted STOP. With this words the man was much happy and continued running his hands up and down on her body, while she continues screaming DON'T STOP. After this scenario, the girl began weeping as she was going home, and the mother saw and asked her what the problem was, the girl narrated everything to her mother the way it all happened. And the mother became very furious and yelled at her saying,, Mother : Did I not tell you what to say when a man is trying to touch you ? Daughter : Mama, I did as you told me, the man was rapidly touching me up and down, and all I could say was DON'T STOP but the man refused to stop. Lolzz... Was it her fault


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-27 22:26:26

515 Views




Sunday Bazar mein ek aadmi aawaz lagate hue:


‘Sher ka pinjra’ 10 rupay mein!

‘Sher ka pinjra’ 10 rupay mein!

Ek aurat ne paas ja kar dekha, aur phir ek dum se waapis aa gayi.


Doosri ne pucha: Kya hua?


Pehli wali kehne lagi: Kameena ‘KACHHEY’ bech rha hai.Related

You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

~ Christopher ColumbusRelated

At around past seven in the morning, my parent were
the one that woke me up with the knock on my door…..
Me: good Morning Mummy, good morning daddy
Dad: what happened? Why the scary call and text
Me: its nothing that serious but it’s a bit serious…what
should I offer you Mum: where is your wife?
Me: She went out to get something…she’s coming…
“we heard a knock on the door and it was Mary’s mum
and his brother”
I went to the door and it was Mary’s mum and her
elder brother Me: Welcome ma……..Good Morning Ma
Mary’s Mum: All daddy, Mummy..eyin na wa nibi (you
are here)….ekaaro ma
My mum: Ekaaro Ma…eku ijo meta
Mary’s Mum: Did Snakie sent a message to you too?
Dad: na so we see am oooo…we came in too not quite long and we have not heard anything from him yet
Mary’s Mum: Where is your wife snakie….
Me: She’s coming..she will soon join us
Dad: Is this all the people you called or we are still
expecting some other people
Me: This is everybody Sir…… Dad: Ohk..we are here now..what did you call us for
Me: Thank you very much my parent and thanks to you
too mummy (referring to mary’s Mum). Dad, initially I
told you am not interested in this relationship but you
forced me to it cos of my little mistake. At this stage
now, I called you my parent to officially tell you that am no more interested in this relationship……..
Dad: are we back at this stage again?are you okay at
all snakie? I thought we already passed through this
stage..even if you have issue with your wife, it cost you
nothing to settle it amicably abi what sort of nonsense
is this? My Mum: Oya mi lenu oooo…but lets even wait for him
Daddy…what do you see that made you want to divorce
your marriage of less than a year
Mary’s Mum: Please my Son, we can settle whatever is
happening between you and your wife amicably
Me: Thank you mum…there’s a lot of thing involve and the truth still remains that me and Biola are back
together
Dad: What? You are a bastard…I know this right from
onset that am not your biological father
My Mum: You disappointed me snakie, I thought I
talked about all this with you one on one but u never listen to the word of the elder……Don’t lemme say that
your son will never listen to you again too snakie
Me: its not like that mummy..daddy, its not what you
think. Initially I thought things will work out between
us
and forget how we met but the truth has been things has not been the same since we got married….it has
been one problem or the other in this house
Dad: ehn..ehn…datz normal in every marriage, do u
think me and your mum understand each other within
a
year? It takes time my boy Mary’s Mum: Eyin omo isinyi sef………Its takes time to
understand each other, is it cos of this minor issue u
called a meeting like this?
My Mum: my boy…you need to take things easy with
yourselves and understand your wife better.
Me: Mum, it has gone beyond that….the truth is that am not the one responsible for Mary’s pregnancy
My Mum: WHAT!!!!!!!
Dad: You are not serious? How did you know that?
Me: Lets forget about how I know that the pregnancy
is not mine…another aspect of it is that, so many guys
have been coming to this house to sleep with my suppose wife
Mary’s Mum: What? That’s absolutely impossible..i
trust my daughter, are you making this up all because
you want divorce? What sort of rubbish is this
Elder Brother: Ahan..snakie, even if you don’t want your
wife again, that doesn’t mean you should come up with this bogus lies now…….
Dad: I just realized you are a silly guy…what sort of
rubbish is this, your wife is pregnant, how come other
guys will be coming to sleep with your wife in this
house
My Mum: That’s amazing………..whats your evidence oko mi as I believe you wont come up with all these
allegations without any evidence
Me: The truth is that I have all the evidences on my
phone and the fact that I know two guys that have
been sleeping with her under this roof. If its evidence
you are looking for, I have them right here and I will show it to you guys…..please can we all go inside my
bedroom?
“I stood up and led them to my room as they all follow
me”
I opened the door of my bedroom and all they could
uttered at once was “WHAT!!!!!!”…all at once. Kay was at one corner of the room while Mary was just by a
side of the bed crying.

To Be Continued…



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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I am groggy this morning can’t feel the neurons in my leg. I am definitely having my
comeuppance for spending the whole night at Aphrodisiac night club after the sips of
Martini and Baileys. I am still in a shock as to how I got home from the club. My alarm
didn’t wake me up as I thought.
It dawn on me that I have a presentation with my lecturer. I quickly dash into the shower
to wash myself and wear some clothes to hit the road. While driving, the radio is hitting the air-waves with Antenna by Fuse-ODG reminiscing the way I boogied to the song at
Aphrodisiac. It’s funny how my memories lingers it way back.
Abruptly, the car skid into a halt. I step out from the car and try opening the hood but
there is smoke everywhere which leads me gasping for air by coughing. I am confused
with the next thing to do. I take my phone and call our family mechanic but his phones
are switched off. “I mean, we always complain about the situation of the economy and we don’t even switch our phone on for a business call that could troop in” I grumbled.
As I stand vulnerable at the place, a Mercedes G-Wagon stops in front of me. I quickly
adjust myself as though I’m oblivious. Graciously, a man disembarks from the Wagon.
I begin sizing him up, from his shoes to his hat – breath-taking. Gawking at his waist to
his toes, calculating his height, he can be six feet tall. Wow, my dreamboat is finally
here. Oh! I wish you are in my thoughts like right now, you would hear me screaming and imagining his thingy in my thingy!
He takes some measurable walking steps to me and offers to give me a ride. I waste no
time as I closed the hood and locked the car. I whizz into his Wagon after he opened the
door for me, such a gentleman!
Then in his huskier tone, he asks “Where should I drop you?”
“I am on my way to the campus” in my quivering voice. We don’t utter a word after that until he drops me by the school entrance.
“My name is Brian Williams and yours?”
“Mine is Merissa Mensah.”
I am startled, how this man can subject me to his knees, even finding it hard to glance at
his face. But he is confident in his thick voice as he speaks.
“Kindly give me your phone” I give it to him without even asking what for? I see him inputting his digits on it and he
saves his contact and dials his line to get my number.
In my defense, I could have snubbed or be arrogant but in this case, I am speechless.
“What kind of hold back is this?” mutter in my thoughts. Then he gives me the phone
back and says he would call me to find out if I am safe. I scoff “I’m already safe with you
Brian” murmur in my thoughts. I step down from the car aimlessly and forgotten that I am late for my presentation. I
add speed in my walk and get to the lecturer’s office in one piece. When I get there, it
is obvious the presentation is over as I met a deserted island except of course, Mr. Ansah.
Mr. Ansah, an eccentric personality always having his tousled grey hair unkempt with his
old school trousers dangling on his waist and his usual white shirt. The years he spent
abroad has taken a toll in his lifestyle. His life is nothing to write home about and I wonder why the school authorities haven’t taken into cognizance of the lifestyle and
morals of their professors and lecturers.
He always has his ways with the ladies in his class, subjecting them as a free ticket to
fornication. Well, that was the news reaching me; he had slept with almost seventy
percent of ladies in his class. Mr. Ansah has been bothering me with my course work for
weeks now and I will never give in just because of good grades. “Merissa, you are late for my course-work” Mr. Ansah start. “Sir, I was having car
troubles” I reply.
“Well as you can see, we are done with the presentation and I had awarded them marks
accordingly.”
“Mr. Ansah, I have no intentions for coming late to this presentation. I take all my course
work very seriously and if not for my car that had troubles. I would have made it here on time. Please hear me out.”
He bellows “Merissa, I have told you several times that we should spend just two hours”
His fingers were shaking “Just two hours at the hotel, well looking at my age, one hour
will do and all this course work won’t be a problem for you. You don’t need to even
come to my classes but you would be guaranteed an ‘A’ in my course.”
“No, I won’t do that sir”, I fume. “Then, I am sorry young lady; there is nothing else I can do to help you.”
I leave his office with annoyance and bump into someone. In my mind, I am thinking on
mother earth of all beings, why will it be Kofi?
“Hi Merissa, how are you doing?” He speaks.
“As you can see, I am not complaining” The mere sight of him almost gave me nausea.
As I am about to walk out from the conversation then he utters. “I was at Aphrodisiac last night” I pause for a moment.
He continues “And after you got drunk, I drove you home and I am really happy to be
there at that time to help you out.”
“But I never asked for your help? Did I? By the way, what did you do to my car because
the car just stopped moving along the road while I was driving to school?”
“Where is your car now?” Kofi asks raising his eyebrow. “I parked it by the roadside”
“Okay, let’s go and check it out” He says.
We board a taxi and get to the scene where the car is and immediately, he opens the
hood and fix his hands into the mechanical parts of the car. All I did was to watch him,
and then he says I should go in and spark the engine, quickly rushed in to ignite the
engine and it sparks. “Wow, I never knew you’re handy with cars” I surprisingly utter. “I have a few bits of
techniques in my sleeves I guess” He curtly replies. At this moment, I am ashamed of the
way I have treated Kofi all this while, I tell him to get in asking him nicely of course
which he obliged.
On the road, I tell him how sorry I am and being rude to him. He replies “No worries
about that”. I drive to the hostel straight and usher him to my room and gladly offer him cake with ice cream. After a while, we begin talking and talking, get to know more about
him, his course and the hostel he is in. I begin smiling and laughing to Kofi dry jokes
which I find eccentric.
“So how did you manage to locate my hostel, because we just moved in here?” I ask.
“Have you forgotten so soon when I drove you home and you gave me directions?”
“Really, I gave you directions. Oh my! I can’t remember a thing”


>>

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

*1:45pm,That Same Day*

Ebere headed straight to the 'baba's' place as she left Sonia's mother.
From what she observed,the old woman may not be willing to go with her the next day as she suggested,for it baffled her how she suddenly postponed it after already saying they must go immediately.Moreover,the way she reacted when she heard whom Angela's parents were,gave her great cause for concern.
Could there be something she knew,which she concealed from her?
Many questions flashed through her mind as she sat at the back of the taxi,swaying to the tune of the gallop from the pot-holes on the bad road,making her totally uncomfortable.On a normal ocassion,she ought to have barked at the driver to slow down but instead,she jeered at the driver to add more speed to the tyres.She just wished she could fly to her destination immediately.
She was ready to finish what she started;to make sure Angela lose her marriage completely and if possible,her life.She blessed the day Angela whispered it into her ears that she wanted a maid.

When the taxi finally came to a halt,she paid the driver,looked at both side of the road as it to make sure nobody saw her before diving into the bush.The 'baba's place was not hard to locate.Who knows how many times she had come to him for help.

She removed her footwears and stood before the great shrine.Nobody was there but the eyes and the glory of the deity were believed to have watched and protected the place.
She looked around the shrine,bundles of money,pictures of people and other personal items belonging to people were all over the place.
The red clothes tied everywhere,the large mirror and the scary faces of the gods made the shrine a horrible sight to behold.

"The eyes of the gods.The great one.Your humble daughter is here"Ebere spoke out with her head bowed low.She remained calm and quiet for sometime.Soon,the sound of the great 'Dibia' could be heard emerging from nowhere,breaking the silence

"What troubles you my daughter?"He asked as he went for a seat.

"Great one,my heart is heavy.Your daughter is getting older by the day.Had it been i got married to mike,by now i would be seeing my children,playing and calling me mummy.Ever since then,no man has ever said anything about marriage to me.Despite all i do for them"Ebere sobbed as she opened her handbag and brought out Angela's pictures and documents.

"Great one.I...."

"Hold your peace.The great one has read your mind.You want me to make her husband irresistible to her maid and at the same time,wipe her out from the face of the earth"The old man,whose teeth has turned brown,with chalk circled around his eyes,said,looking into a little calabash murmuring some incantations.

"Yes.yes great one.Yes"She responded nodding.

The old man smiled and pointed to a corner inside the shrine.
"Go there and drop something for the gods"he said as he stood up and went before the mirror.He stood before it and started making some incantations.

"Look here young woman"he ordered Ebere,pointing at the mirror.
Ebere's eyes went to the mirror.She almost fell down out of shock.She couldn't believe monitoring someone with mirror can be possible but in that mirror was Sonia and David.Sonia was on bed while David was dressing up to hurry out.
She glanced at her wristwatch it was 2pm.David should be at work by this time.she smiled.

The 'Dibia' murmured something and sprinkled some water on the mirror.Ebere could see Sonia shiver as a result of that.Sonia felt something enter her body as she screamed out David's name.
The dibia waved his hand across the mirror and everything faded.

"That charm will desert her whenever they are caught together.As for the woman you want dead,organise boys to kidnap her right away.She must be brought here today"He instructed

>>

Pastor: what should you do to make someone remember you?
Kate: Do good things always.
Teacher: That's correct, lets clap for her.
After clapping the teacher then say "Any other answer?"
Akpos hand shoot up.
"Okey, Akpos go ahead" says the teacher
Akpos: Anty, the best way to make somebody remember you is to borrow money from them.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-24 13:33:58

634 Views




The following conversation ensued between Akpos and a female student in school
AKPOS: Isn’t our principal an idiot?
GIRL: Do you know who I am?
AKPOS: No…
GIRL: I’m his daughter.
AKPOS: Do u know me?
GIRL: No!
AKPOS: Thank God.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-16 21:35:37

1575 Views




INSECT EPISODE 8


dobsonfly larvae:"don't be afraid",it said.
dobsonfly larvae:"I won't kill you",it said.
caddisworm:"no!",it said.
caddisworm:"I won't be your afternoon meal",it said.
caddisworm:"I have seen how it kills little aquatic animals",it said.
Mayfly larvae:"no he won't",it said.
dobsonfly larvae:"I promise I won't kill you",it said.
Mayfly larvae:" Its my friend",it said.
caddisworm:"yes its your friend not mine,so its likely to kill me",it said.
dobsonfly larvae:"I assure you that I won't kill you",it said.
dobsonfly larvae:"I don't eat your kind",it said.
dobsonfly larvae:"I don't even know how your kind taste like",it said.
caddisworm:"so you dont know how we taste like,that's why you came here to use me as your test money",it said.
Mayfly larvae:"noooo,don't get it wrong",it said.
Mayfly larvae:"what it was trying to say was that it has never killed your kind before",it said.
caddisworm:"no way,i won't believe that",it said.
Mayfly larvae:"c'mon stop acting like a sea slug,come out",it said.
Mayfly larvae:"it won't kill you",it said.
Mayfly larvae:"its my friend",it said.
caddisworm:"ok fine i will come out",it said.
caddisworm:"but let him move back a bit",it said.
(WRITER TALKING):"the dobsonfly did as it was told to do".
Mayfly larvae:"ok the dobsonfly larvae has moved back a bit",it said.
caddisworm:"ok",it said putting its head out side.
caddisworm:"you are still too close",it said.
caddisworm:"move back more",it said.
(WRITER TALKING):"the dobsonfly larvae did as it was told".
Dobsonfly larvae:"well is this far enough"?,it asked.
caddisworm:"well mmmmmmm move back more and more and more and more and more",it said.
dobsonfly larvae:"are you ok now!",it shouted from afar.
caddisworm:"yes sure!",it replied back.
Mayfly larvae:"like seriously,was that really necessary?",it asked.
caddisworm:"yes it is,for my safety",it replied.
Mayfly larvae:"ok",it said.
caddisworm:"so where are we going to!",it shouted so that the dobsonfly larvae would hear him.
Dobsonfly larvae:"we are going to the far end of the stream!",it replied back shouting.
caddisworm:"no way,i ain't going there!",it said.
caddisworm:"your kinds are everywhere over there!",it said.
Mayfly larvae:"oh no!,not again",it said.
Mayfly larvae:"ok where do you want us to go?",it asked.
caddisworm :"lets go to the east side of the stream!",it said.
dobsonfly larvae:"ok,fine by me!",it said.
Mayfly larvae:"ok fine,let go",it said.
(WRITER TALKING):"they left there with the dobsonfly larvae lagging behind.as they swum they saw new things,the dobsonfly larvae showed the caddisworm new styles of hunting from afar,the caddisworm learnt from the dobsonfly larvae,but the mayfly larvae learnt nothing because It was not a hunter".
(WRITER TALKING):"as time went on the caddisworm started to get to know and understand the dobsonfly larvae very well,and they all started swimming side by side".
(WRITER TALKING):"After several months in the stream the caddisworm,mayfly larvae and dobsonfly larva stage was over.they were now in their nymphal stage
Dobsonfly nymphal:"guys my body has changed",it said.
caddisfly nymphal:"mine too",it said.
mayfly nymphal:"I am already molting guys",it said.
Mayfly nymphal:"I still have 20 more times to molt guys",it said.
caddisfly nymphal:"damn!,dude you are one weird insect bro",it said.
Dobsonfly nymphal:"that is really stressful",it said.
Mayfly nymphal:"don't start again caddisfly nymphal",it said.
Mayfly nymphal:"yes dobsonfly nymphal",it said.
caddisfly nymphal:"guys its time for me to go",it said.
Mayfly nymphal:"we would miss you more bro",it said.
Dobsonfly nymphal:"i will miss you more dude",it said.
(WRITER TALKING):"the caddisfly nymphal raised to the water surface of the stream,then its adult body emerges molting out its nymphal stage skin.now in its adult stage,it grew wings and antennae,after minutes of drying off the water on its skin".
(WRITER TALKING):"the season was the right season which caddisflies nymphal came out of the stream,so there were many of its kind flying everywhere.monkeys,frogs,birds,frogs,pray mantis,spiders and other insect eaters where all around,waiting for them to take flight".
(WRITER TALKING):"they were about a thousand of them there,both male and female.after 10 minutes some of them took flight......lets call the caddisfly that came out of the water BLE so that we don't get it mixed up.....Ble and other caddisflies which haven't taken flight, were about to fly upwards,when a full grown female toad jumped out from the grasses and started catch them with its long sticky tongue,it caught 9 of the caddisflies,Ble was lucky enough to fly away".
(WRITER TAKING):"as Ble was flying, a bird saw Ble and chased after it,Ble couldn't escape death this time because there was no way an insect could defeat a bird in speed,the bird opened its mouth to caught Ble,but luckily for Ble the bird didn't see the tree branch ahead of it,the bird's head kissed the tree branch so hard that it made the bird faint, and it fell to the ground.Ble continued flying and praying in its mind not to die,as he was thinking that, a bird flu right pass its front and caught one of its kinda right in front of him.the speed the bird took caused massive air to push Ble to the lower ground".
(WRITER TALKING):"Ble landed on the ground close to grasses with its back ,it shook and wiggled itself so that it could turn to its right position(upright),as it was doing that a full grown male lizard walked closely to it,the male lizard came out from the grasses,Ble was afraid,Ble was so sure that it was its end,the lizard was about to look down when another caddisfly flu across its face,the male lizard quickly followed it leaving Ble to go catch the caddisfly which it saw,the lizard caught the caddisfly with its mouth"......................... to be continued......story by dindy.....whatsapp number:07087750433.... [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected] facebook namessy nnamdi
please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission...thank you for reading this story....


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EPISODE 1

Hello reader, My name is Darlington Osas. Am writing this short story about how I got sacked from my first job after secondary school.
I woke up like every other Saturday, the streets was busy already, people were walking around, some dressed for parties, some to their weekend jobs and others gossiping in front of their house. The day was bright and warm, a perfect day for parties. The major topic amongst the male gossips were about the football matches about to be played on that weekend. Am not so much of a football fan so, I don’t follow up with any league or football competition being played. I only watch it once in a while when I am chanced and I don’t have any favorite.

I hurriedly did my house chores and left for the shop. I lived with my mother, father and two elder sisters in a two room apartment rented by my father. My father worked as a builder and my mother sells vegetables in a small she constructed in front of the house. I just finished my secondary school. And that means that, I have written my WAEC but I was yet to see my results.
I didn’t want to be idle while I waited for my results so I looked for a job and luckily for me, I got a sales boy job a shop located 4 streets away from my house. The shop belonged to a Yoruba woman who sold assorted fruit juice in wholesale and retail.
I opened the shop after greeting other neighbors who had opened for the day. I checked my time and it was quatre past nine. "A bit late i said to myself". All of the four didn’t have any sales boy or sales girl so there was really no friend of mine amongst the shop owners. I quickly did all the necessary things I was supposed to do after opening the door which included sweeping the floor, cleaning accumulated dust on the wares, mopping the floor and then arranging some of the wares for exhibition. I wasn’t expecting my madam to come to the shop that day as she had reported that she would be travelling on that very day on the previous. So I just sat down waiting for customers. Abi? What is left?

Just after 30 minutes, the feeling of hunger fell upon me intensively. I didn’t eat that morning before leaving the house. My mother was unable to prepare breakfast because my father was unable to provide money for food. His job was unstable and this was one of the times when he couldn't find any job for a long stretch of days. My most elder sister was in the university and the other is still praying for admission but she also worked as a stylist.
This was not the first time I was leaving home without food in my stomach but as nature would have it, today was different. The hunger gripped me so firmly like a famer catching the thief that has been disturbing his farmland. It clearly showed on my face. I sat like a melting wax on the plastic chair wishing I was rich.
As I readjusted my sitting position, I felt a tiny bulge in my pocket. I looked at it and was annoyed as I assumed it was an ordinary paper that I washed with my trouser. Curiousity made me deep my hand into my pocket and alas! It wasn’t paper o, it was money!.
You should have seen the smile on my face as I discovered the crumpled one thousand naira note, I gently opened so as not to get it torn and you won’t believe what I later discovered. There wasn’t just one not but two…. My joy entered trippled, No! It quadrupled immediately. I started dancing galala, then disco, then shakiti. I quickly started to think what food I was going to eat.


The story continues .... Episode 2 loading. . . . . .

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No love [Read it]


Two couples, Tomex and helen, have been having difficult times in their marriage. They both decided to go to a marriage counsellor for help. After the counsellor had asked them both a few questions, He stood up and went to the woman and gave her a hug and said "Tomex, that is what your wife needs everyday" then the husband asked "What time should i bring her back tomorrow"

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2015-08-19 16:26:00

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Despite All The Bad News Like PDP And ACN Fighting.PHCN Blackouts.Corruption.Unpaid Salaries.Economy Breakdown.Boko Haram Bombing.Super Eagles Disqualification.I Still Have Good News For You.......................................
 AGBALUMO IS OUT !!!


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2015-01-18 13:44:47

260 Views




GCE MATHEMATICS EXAM PAPER Time: 2Hrs 30MINS INSTRUCTIONS: ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS 1. You have dated a girl for 2 years,
eventually she drops you for another
guy. Calculate the percentage of time
wasted. (20mks) 2. You bought a phone for your
girlfriend and she gave it to another
guy. Using Trigonometric identities,
Derive a general formula for this type of
love. (20mks) 3. (For Boys) You're dating around 15
girls and every girl is demanding for a
Samsung Galaxy and an iPhone 6s a) Plot a graph of girls against prices of
phones. (15mks)
b) Use your graph to estimate your
future poverty (5mks) 4. You are dating peoples' sisters yet
you don't want to see any guy with your
sister. Calculate the Percentage Error in
your Thinking Capacity. Take Pi=3.142
(20mks) GOOD LUCK!
#BOLLY_SHOW ?? ? ? ?™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-23 12:25:47

306 Views




The question came as a big shock to me, I
wasn’t expecting it at all. I didn’t need to
think before i answer her ‘coz i gat answer
for everything, yea. But why did she ask that
question? Is she suspecting me and
promise?? Let’s find out….
Promise: Uhmmm….
**I interrupted her**
Me: I met her at the gate when i was
dropping down from the taxi. Why?
Mirabel: Nothing,,, I’m just curious to know.
Me: See, I know you’re worried about what
Lola had said but u don’t have to take her
serious, u know how she is na
Mirabel: I know but, this is quite unusual.
Me: And now you’re gonna let that ruin our
fun?
Promise: Maybe i should just leave
Mirabel: No no no no please stay,,, i
apologize for my attitude,,,, i’m so sorry. It
won’t happen again i promise
Promise: It’s okay…
Mirabel: Thanks Promzy
**Silence**
She walked towards me and hugged me
tightly, then she spoke into my ears
Mirabel: I’m so sorry honeyy, please forgive
me
Me: Do i have a choice? **Teasingly**
Mirabel: Pleaseee…
Me: Its okay I forgive u
Mirabel: Really?
Me: Yea
Mirabel: Prove it
Me: How?
Mirabel: With a make up kiss
Me: Buh we didn’t break up
Mirabel: I know…. its to make up for my
attitude earlier
We kissed and lip-locked passionately for
many seconds that I forgot Promise was
around.
Promise: **Clears throat** Hhmmm… I have
to go guys, i have lot of things to take care
of
Mirabel: Oh Ok Prom-mzy,,, thanks alot for
coming and ermmm sorry for the distraction
earlier
Promise: Its okay…
Mirabel: So,,, how is it gonna be? Are we
gonna see again before we all go home?
Promise: I dunno ‘coz I will be traveling next
tomorrow
Mirabel: To where?
Promise: To my family house in Onitsha
Mirabel: Oh… that’s quite far. I thought u
would be around to visit me at the villa
Promise: Too bad I’ve already informed my
family about my arrival… maybe some other
time
Mirabel: Its okay
Me: So,,,, this is it?
Promise: I guess so
Me: Woah…
I have been speechless ‘coz i dunno what to
say.
Mirabel excused herself and went inside
leaving Me and Promise in an awkward
silence.
She finally came back holding two shopping
bag and gave them to Promise.
Promise appreciated Mirabel over and over
especially when she saw the new iPhone6
given to her. I was like “Wow”. I didn’t get
to see the remaining package but i could
guess that it contains clothes, shoes and
maybe Jewelries.
We walked her to the gate, stopped a taxi
for her, did our final goodbyes and off she
left.
Walking back into the house
Me: I’m not spending the night here
Mirabel: Its okay,,, we’d go out for dinner
then crash at your place
Me: Sounds like a plan
**Kisses**
We got inside, and the music was still on
Me: U know,,,, I’ve never seen u dance
before
Mirabel: U want to see me dance?
Me: Yea
Mirabel: I like dancing buh i’m not a good
dancer
Me: I don’t mind…. show me what u got
She shyly went to the center and started
dancing slowly with some cool moves. After
a minute or two, she started dancing
comfortably,,,, shaking her shakeables for
me. Lola is far better than her buh all the
same, she was hot and s-x? and impressive.
She became more s-x?ier when she sexily
used her fingers to invite me to dance with
her. I got the gesture, I smiled and joined
her on the dance floor. Chai! See rocking!!
The music changed to a slow type, her
dance move also changed. She changed her
dance to a slow dance move, using her
hands to rub my body in a cool way that
sent shivers all over my body. Even lil vame
catch cold instantly.
I followed her move to a romance, to
kissing… We stopped and stared at each
others eyes for a while… the lust became
obvious, we kissed again and started ripping
off our clothes and fell onto the couch
during the hot romance.
Me: Let’s go upstairs
She didn’t say anything, she just smiled and
open her hands wide for me to carry her,
which i did.
I took her upstairs still kissing till we got
into the room. Then I remembered I had no
rain coat on me, my facial expression
changed.
Mirabel: Do it
Me: What?

>>

Superglue some coins to the sidewalk or any spot that has a lot of people walking around. Make sure it’s an appropriate place, then watch people break fingernails to get the coins.Related

Sean got to the hotel at midnight. He met a
different person at the reception this time
around. In his most exquisite manner he
asked.
“Good Morning. Is there a reservation in the
name of Alexander Bashorun please?”
“Just a minute sir.”
She checked her computer, looking up at Sean
a few times. Sean kept smiling pleasantly.
“Sir, there is a reservation in the name of
Alexander Bashorun. It is on the west wing of
the hotel sir. The password for entry into the
room is your year of birth sir. The password
allows only two attempts sir.” The receptionist
said.
“Okay. How do I get there? You know this
hotel is massive.” Sean said getting his wallet
from the hip pocket of the jeans he was
wearing.
She printed out a hotel guide and gave it to
him.
He got to the west wing of the hotel and
located the suite that was prepared for him.
He typed his year of birth if the keypad that
was beside the door. The door clicked open
and he walked in. He had been through a long
day. He fell on the couch and slept off.
***************************************
Eva had a wonderful time at the club she went
to. She danced, and flirted with a few girls.
She met new guys and was amazed at the
beauty of the strippers. She was conscious of
time and did not want to be too familiar with
any of the people in the club. So at about two
thirty, she left. There was a certain handsome
hunk that would not let her leave without
some form of contact detail. She liked him. He
was bold, straight to the point and wanted
just s3x. She wanted it too but she knew that
once he had tasted her, he would not be able
to let go. She knew how crazy she was in bed,
most especially when she had not gotten laid
in a while. She got his number and promised
to call him. She intended to, maybe after
everything was all over.
She got to the hotel, and went straight to her
suite. Immediately the door opened, she knew
something was not right. Eva was very careful
with her belongings and knew exactly how she
left the room. But now the room was in
disarray. The throw pillows were scattered on
the floor. The magazines on the coffee table
where not stacked. And there was a glass of
wine on the table. Who was in her room? As
she shut the door gently behind her, she heard
the sound of the shower in the bathroom.
“So the intruder is still here?” She thought to
herself.
She went to the couch and lifted it up gently.
She took out a .23 caliber automatic pistol
beneath the couch, laying the couch down
noiselessly. With gun in hand beside her face,
she tiptoed to the bathroom, listening carefully
for any change in sounds. The shower was still
running and the smoke from the hot bath
clouded the bathroom.
She got to the entrance of the en suite bath
and yanked open the door in one swift move,
pointing her gun threateningly.
The bathroom was empty.
Before she could turn and decipher what was
happening, the gun was slapped from her
hand, pushing it near the sink. A strong hand
grabbed her neck from behind, while another
held her firmly on the stomach. He pushed her
to the bathroom wall and pinned her steady,
the side of her face grazing the tiled wall.
“Shhhhhhhh….It is me. Don’t do anything rash
Eva.” Sean said quietly and smoothly into her
ears.
His grip on her was so strong. She tried to
fight herself off his grip but he was just too
strong and she was hurting herself in the
process. She could see his bulging biceps
from the corner of her eyes.
“Who the hell is this guy?” she wondered
“There is no use fighting my lady. I would not
want a repeat of our last meeting dear. I am
going to let you go now. Be a good girl.” Sean
pleaded
He felt her tense and stiffened body loosen up.
He released her gradually and took three
steps, backing up away from her
He did not see the slap coming till it was too
late. Her right palm landed on his left cheek.
He grimaced as the pain seared through his
body. He felt a little blood on the tip of his
tongue.
“That was for leaving me in a Male Toilet for
hours. Couldn’t you think of somewhere else
to put me?” She said her hands on her hips.
Eva’s anger turned him on. And when she put
her arms on her hips, her br3asts popped out
making them larger than they seem. He was
not angry. He was arous3d. She saw the look
in his eyes and the bulge in his jeans that now
appeared from nowhere.
She now realized that he was actually
shirtless, his fine body glistening in the
radiance of the fluorescent bulbs. She noticed
his abs, his muscles and his huge, broad
chest. The hair on his chest was smooth and
fine, and ran through his torso, disappearing
inside his jeans.
“You should not have done that.” Sean said
smiling and taking two steps towards Eva.
She kept quiet and kept her eyes on him. Her
mind was running wild. Her heart was beating
faster than normal. She saw the look in his
eyes. She knew that look. She prayed silently
that her legs do not give way and that he
would really take her.
As he approached her he had only one thing in
mind. It was that same thing he had in mind
since the evening he met her at the Brigadier’s
party. He held her neck with his right hand
almost choking her. She did not resist him. He
kissed her with his blood stained lips, taking
her tongue in his mouth and sucking on them.
He took her two hands, impaling them above
her head with his, while they kissed and
s----d each other’s lips. Their eyes were
closed.
Eva rescued her hands from his and grabbed
his head as they kissed. He lifted her with
brute strength, his hands in her armpits,
pinning her on the bathroom wall above him.
She looked down and circled his waist with
her legs as she pinned her body to his.
Without warning he tore her blouse to reveal a
pretty pink bra. She smelled sweaty and in the
mood.
Carrying her in that position, her legs circling
his waist, her arms around his neck and her
lips in his, he took her to the bedroom and did
what he been wanting to do for a long while.
Scratching, nibbling and gasping for air they
pleasured themselves with no inhibitions
whatsoever.
***********************************************
The General picked his phone and dialed Ope’s
number.
“What is the status of The Colonel?” He asked
“I have been watching him for three days as
you instructed sir. Bee Hive traced his
location to the suburbs of Festac town. They
were lodged in a hotel around Old Ojo road
and I am currently outside the place. All exits
have been covered and I am positive that he is
still within the premises.” Ope replied.
“Good. What else do you have for me?” The
General asked.
“I have placed some hookers on red alert and
have them working for us. I have concrete
information that Ahmed fancies a particular
chubby girl. She can be bought. I have three
agents inside. They have taken up positions
as bartender, housekeeper and gateman
respectively. The Colonel and Ahmed are in
room 407. Tomorrow night is going to be a
really wild one because there is going to be a
strip party in the lounge of the hotel. We know
Ahmed will be attending. That is where we are
sir.” Ope finished.
“Good. Stay alert. Nobody makes a move. If
this slips by, I will have all your heads. It is a
promise. Ease out soldier.” The General
finished and hung up.
He turned and looked at Sophia. They were in
Sophia’s room in the big Mansion.
“You are getting desperate sir.” Sophia said.
The General was on the bed, his legs crossed.
He looked at Sophia who was standing before
his, her hands behind her.
“You underestimate me girl. I don’t do
desperation. Never. I made a mistake with
Giwa once. I never make the same mistake
twice.” The General retorted.
“I am sorry sir. What is the plan?” Sophia said
“What is the status of the operation?” The
General asked
“Ambrose has effortlessly blended into the
SPPS and did great at the interview. He
resumes in a few days. Shina has been
smoked. Eva and Sean should be getting
acquainted right about now. All we need to do
is wait sir.” Sophia replied.
The General got up and paced the room.
Sophia did not move from where she was. He
came back to his former position.
“I am pained by the death of my son, really
pained. Even though he had it coming, I was
not expecting it to happen so soon. However, I
am looking at the grander picture. This final
mission is more important than revenge. I
need a cool head to prosecute this. Do you
think I do not feel the urge to tear down this
town just to prove a point? Sometimes,
revenge is best served cold. Don’t forget that,
Sophia. You have done tremendously well and
I am happy at your progress.” The General
said.
“Thank you sir” She replied.
“How did you smoke Shina?” The General
asked.
“I didn’t. Sean did.” Sophia answered.
“Are you scared to get your hands dirty,
Lieutenant?” The General asked.
“Negative sir. I just felt that Sean needed to
prove himself and kill all emotional pull backs
he may have.” Sophia replied.
“I also know that you have been sleeping with
him. Remember, he is going to have to die.
And you are going to do it. So do not get too
attached.” The General said and moved to the
door.
“Sophia. It’s going to be you and I left
standing when all this is over. Don’t
disappoint me.” The General said and left the
room.
Deep inside, Sophia doubted if she was going
to make it out alive. She was worried. Very
worried.


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