Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

WAR STORY [Read it]



During an English lesson, the teacher instructed his
students to write a composition.
Question: Assume you are in a war, write a story on
your experience?
Akpos did not write anything and kept seated. The teacher got puzzled, walked to Akpos' desk and asked
him why he was not doing the exercise.
Akpos replied, "I was killed immediately at the
beginning of the war."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-07 11:17:44

398 Views




I was on my way to buy phone when a police stopped me and ask where am going by this time I told him this just 5pm is not even late he said he no concern am and he must take me to station for correcting and arguing with a police man I bed and told him my mum sent me to go and buy her a new phone but the police said I must bail my self now now if I no won reach station I told him I don't have any cash me unless we go back to my area where I can collect money from him from the ATM machine... he said no problem follow me to go and get the phone and still follow me back to my area I latterly withdraw 5000 naira from the ATM and gave it to him surprisingly he started counting the money saying he no trust the ATM machine not to talk of me omo this money nah 100 note I swear I waited until he finish counting the money ni ooo


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-18 02:00:09

706 Views




Why is King Solomon considered the wisest man in the world?

Because he had so many wives to advise him!Related

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

-P.J. O’RourkeRelated

Free credit [Read it]


EKAITE: Akpos, you won't believe it?
AKPOS: What?
EKAITE: My phone fell down from my hand, I picked it up, switched it on and I received a message.
AKPOS: What message?
EKAITE: My account was credited!
AKPOS: Wow! let me try mine!


An hour after Akpos left, Ekaite received a call from her friend that she was the one who transferred the credit to her.


"Aaaaaah!" Ekaite exclaimed. She tried to call Akpos but his number didn't go through.


Meanwhile, Akpos went to an uncompleted three storey building. He threw his phone out and quickly rushed down to pick it. First, the screen had broken, he wasn't worried about it. He switched on the phone and cursed Ekaite under his breath when he saw the message through the broken screen that says, "INSERT SIM CARD".


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-22 17:26:35

191 Views



COUNTRY RYTHM [Read it]


In d land of no fuel?,in d time of no light?,.the destiny of a great nation?? rests on the shoulders of an old man?,..his name-BUHARI?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-07 15:23:54

326 Views




Why is the game of Golf totally wrong?

It’s because you hold a club and put the balls in the hole;

Instead of holding the balls and putting the club in the hole!Related

Pappu catches his parents having sex and asks, “What are you doing?”

Santa: Making a brother or may be a sister for you.

Pappu: Try doggy style. I want a puppy!Related

Boss: John, tell me your greatest weakness

John: Honesty

Boss : I don’t think that’s a weakness

John: I don’t give a shit what you think.Related

fact [Read it]


If the children of Israel were Nigerians,
they would have wasted d whole day in d
red sea taking pictures and updating on
facebook saying "chilling with moses",
"miracle tins", "crossing mode activated,"
"bruzing on the red sea on my mind"... True or False??. good morning palzz ...Welcome 2 ma month of birth. ...5th 5 is ma day


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-01 08:53:44

462 Views




U said u like nairajokes? Show me ur love for nairajokes, type 'NAIRAJOKES' with ur eyes close. dis mine nairajokes, no cheatin pls


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-06 11:35:45

355 Views




Victoriouschild was led into an empty room by the man’s wife who was reluctant to bring her in. she thanked the man’s wife repeatedly who ignored her greetings and told her to leave first thing in the morning which she agreed to do. She went into the less than suitable room but it was still better than staying outside in immense cold while at the same time being exposed to the dangers that troll the night.

She locked the door behind her and trudge to where the bed was located. The room was relatively empty with just a bed and a chair compared to the one I stayed in at Cheta’s house. Half bread is better than none, she concluded. Victoriouschild thought about Cheta and all she has done for me so far.

Victoriouschild knew she had every right to be angry considering the fact Somto was her only son and she was but a stranger but she just wished she had been more patient so as to understand the scenario. That is by the way, she thought and made to sleep.
It was almost 2am in the night and Mr. Tunde, Victoriouschild’s savior was knocking on the door of the room where Victoriouschild was sleeping. Victoriouschild who was very weak managed to walk trudging to the door to open it.

“Sir?” she exclaimed in surprise rubbing her eyes to see if she was dreaming.

“Shh, lower your voice” he said in a near signaling with his hands on is lips.

“Is there a problem sir?” Victoriouschild asked in whispering.

“I have something to discuss with you urgently” Mr. Tunde said in a low tone smiling sheepishly, “won’t you let me in?” he asked politely as Victoriouschild who hesitated for seconds before letting him in.

“I couldn’t sleep comfortably because I was concerned about your circumstance, you can tell me about your story so ill no how to help you dear” Mr. Tunde explained his reasons convincingly as Victoriouschild heaved a sigh of relief and started explaining her ordeal right from waking up in Cheta’s till the point where she sought refuge in the house where she currently domiciled.

“Oh dear, you have gone through so much, you are really a fighter and survivor to have survived all these tribulations” Mr. Tunde said as he hugged Victoriouschild parting her at the back. Seeing this as a good opportunity he went ahead with his plan as he attempted to unzip the gown she was putting on.

“What are you doing sir” she asked in a low tone sounding confused.

“Calm down my daughter, I want to give you something sweeter than sugar” he said sarcastically as he proceeded to unzip her.

“Sir it’s not right” Victoriouschild tried to resist “the Bible said our body is a temple of God” she tried to explain.

“To hell with your Bible!” he countered in a loud whisper “Why didn’t you go and take shelter in heaven your Bible worked so well, just be good and I promise you will enjoy it” he tried convincing her.

“No sir! I can’t throw away my dignity just like that” Victoriouschild defended her words.

“Since you don’t want to go the easy way, I’ll take the hard way” he said as he pushed her to the bed and attempted to lift her gown up. Victoriouschild struggled with all she got until she finally broke free by kicking is s.crotums. She opened the door and ran out only to run into Tunde’s wife.
“I heard noises, what is going on?” she asked looking confused;

“Your husband, your husband…” she stammered for words while gasping for breath at the same time.
Just as she was about to speak again, Mr. Tunde came out from God knows where saying “You can’t believe this girl we let into this house tried to seduce me, I was going to the toilet when I heard noise. I ran to check what was going on only to see her naked trying to seduce me” he lied blatantly.

“No ma, he came to my room and attempted to forcefully take my dignity and i…” she was caught shut by a powerful slap from Tunde’s wife.

“How dare a stranger appear from nowhere to accuse my husband of infidelity?” she asked angrily “if not for my stubborn husband who agreed to shelter you, I had strongly objected, no wonder you are a vagabond with no place of abode, please leave my house before I raise alarm and tag you a thief” she ordered Victoriouschild who felt like the whole world was against her.

“What are you still doing there you vagabond?” this time voice getting high pitched.

“But ma, it’s still dark, let me just leave at the first c--k crow” Victoriouschild who had started crying pleaded.

“Oh! So you will kill me and rape my husband ehhh” she said with a smirk “Tuna what are you doing, let’s get this devilish girl out of my house” she said to Mr. Tunde as they both dragged the pleading Victoriouschild out of the door and shut it behind them.

“Where do I go from here, O Lord?” she asked rhetorically as she wailed

“Where do I go at this odd hour of the night without falling into the hands of night hunters” she cried bitterly.

“Why always me” she wept bitterly.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Akande narrates

It’s been up to two weeks since Lia disappear but I was yet to hear d any news about her whereabouts. I still had that strong believe that my daughter was still alive and would return to me sooner than later. I kept remembering the incident at the forest involving Khadija and Aarti. Something was definitely off with the way they relayed the news. In order to satisfy my curiosity, I had booked a hotel in Ilorin from where I have made private investigations about Aarti and I was to meet her in person this afternoon by paying her an impromptu visit.

I got a cab from Royals hotel in Ilorin heading for Sanrab where Aarti lived. I got down at Sarab and paid the taxi man his transport fare. I asked for directions endlessly before I got to Hostel 48. I asked for directions to Aarti’s lodge and I was easily directed there. I got to the door and hesitated before knocking but I stopped when I heard an interesting name mentioned in a supposedly serious conversation going on inside. I decided to eavesdrop and what I heard was the greatest shock of the millennium.
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Thanks for reading and commenting
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HAPPY NEW MONTH


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Three friends went to China for a vacation. They lodged in a five star hotel. They ended up being on the sixtieth floor. The policy of the hotel was that, at midnight, the elevator is always shut down. The next day, they rented a car and explored the city. After having a nice time, they returned to the hotel fifteen minutes after midnight. The elevators had been shut down. There was no other way to get to their room except to take the stairs all the way to the sixtieth floor.

The first friend said, "For the first twenty floors, I will tell jokes to keep us going."

Pointing to the second friend, "You'll tell jokes for the next twenty floors."

Pointing to third friend, he said, "And you will also do the same for the last mile of the climb"

They started the climb. After laughing hysterically, they finally got to the last floor. When they reached the front of their room, the third friend said, "I have one final joke to tell, I forgot the key of the room in the car."

What do you think will happen to him?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-04 07:59:04

341 Views




Akpos is ill and goes to
the doctor. He describes
his illness…
AKPOS: Doctor, I am
always feeling weak.
DOCTOR: (gives him
some medicine) You must
always take four tea-
spoonful of this medicine
before every meal.
AKPOS: Okay Doctor, but
there is one problem.
DOCTOR: What’s the
problem?
AKPOS: I have only three
spoons at home.
?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-08 10:24:24

982 Views




EBOLA: Hallo Hallo Hallo!!!
HIV: who be that na?
EBOLA: Na your bros ebola dey talk o!
HIV: hw far nah? Longest time. Where u dey?
EBOLA: my man, naija people wicked o o o o!!
HIV: how nah ?
EBOLA: them don pursue me comot from naija.
HIV: Hahahahaha!shebe I dey tell u make u calm down that time, u just dey do initial gra gra like say na only u waka come.
EBOLA: chei! Na mistake way I make be that o. I for take am slow and steady like u. So what do I do now bc I wan comeback again?
HIV: hahahaha!! We no need u for naija again bc even me no wan die.

Hahahahahaha
If u don't want ebola again just hit the like button


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-26 22:51:36

786 Views




Sean’s private jet touched down at exactly
6pm. He wore a white tailored shirt, his black
tie slightly loose. His sleeves were folded and
stopped a few inches just below his elbows,
while his jacket was on the seat opposite him.
He looked very handsome and rich. His hair
was cut very low and dark with sporting waves
flowing on it. He wore finely shaped pretty
side burns. As the jet taxied to its hangar, he
finished the glass of champagne on his table,
looking out of the window. The limited edition
diamond watch on his left wrist glittered. A
man in black suit walked over from the cabin,
handing Sean an Ipad. Sean brought out a
Cuban cigar from a small gold case.
“We are here sir. This is a list of five star
hotels we have for you to choose from.” The
security detail said, swiping the screen of the
Ipad.
“Wait. Wait. Go back. Yes. That one. What
hotel is that?” Sean asked with confidence,
nibbling his cigar.
“That’s WheatBaker Hotel, Ikoyi.” The man
replied.
“Take me there.” Sean demanded.
“Wonderful choice sir. I will make the
arrangements.” The man said.
“Thank you, Austin.” Sean said.
The door to the jet opened, and the automatic
ladder was released. Sean picked his jacket
and got up from the leather seat. He put the
jacket on, his cigar in his mouth and walked
to the door. As the cool evening breeze blew
his face, he smiled. He had missed home. He
walked down the ladder to a waiting black
limousine stretch. Austin who was behind him,
got the door for him. Sean got in the luxury
car, relaxing his muscular frame in the chair.
Austin entered through the opposite door,
reading out the itinerary of the evening.
Sean put up his hand, signaling that Austin
be quiet.
“I really want to close my eyes for one hour
and not have you rambling in my ears Austin.
Okay? I would really appreciate it.” Sean said.
“Okay Boss” Austin replied, putting off his
Ipad.
He pressed a button and a small black barrier
which separated them from the driver opened
sideways.
“Hotel number three.” Austin said to the
driver.
The driver nodded.
As the compartment closed again, the driver
pressed a button on a screen to the right of
his steering wheel. Different hotels appeared
on the screen with a navigation guide to each
destination. He continued to press the button
until he got to the third hotel. WheatBaker
Hotel showed on the screen. Beside it, a
navigation route to get there. The driver knew
the place perfectly well. He did not need the
navigation system. He shut down the screen,
put the Limousine into gear and drove away
from the airport.
Sean opened the small gold case he took the
Cuban cigar from, got out a small cutter, and
took a little bit off the head of the cigar. He
put the cigar back in his mouth. Instinctively,
Austin got out a lighter, feeding Sean’s cigar.
Sean puffed and blew smoke.
He could not wait to really relax. He was
happy to be home.
*************************************************
Eva kissed him passionately like her life
depended on it. As she kissed, she rubbed his
pot belly and pushed her other hand inside his
pants. He grunted as she touched him,
squeezing her br3ast through her gown and
scattering her hair. He was experiencing
pleasure from a professional runz girl. He had
only his trousers on. Eva used her tongue on
the sensitive parts of his upper body,
caressing the massive hair on his chest. He
almost went into a spasm, blabbing
incoherently. She kissed him lightly on the
cheek, getting up from his bulky frame.
“No baby, don’t stop.” The man begged.
“Relax honey. The fun is just about to begin.”
Eva said, winking and blowing him a seductive
kiss.
He licked his lips and rubbed his palms
together.
“Baby, let me freshen up. Better be ready when
I get back.” Eva said slowly and deliberately,
dragging the ‘ready’.
“How about the pool, baby? Do we have it to
ourselves? You know how I am with other
people in the same water I swim in.” Eva
asked pulling off her top over her head.
“Oh, that. Give me a few seconds.” The man
said.
He made a phone call.
“Done sweetheart.” The man said.
She blew him a kiss, got her purse and took
out a female contraceptive. She brandished it
in front of the man seductively and turned.
She wriggled her bum as she shut the door
behind her. Eva took out a lipstick from her
purse. She turned the lipstick anti clockwise. It
opened. There were two drugs. A red capsule
and a green one. She put the drugs in her
mouth, hiding them under her tongue. She
stripped nak3d and had a quick shower. Eva
got out of the bathroom with only a towel on.
Her hair fell behind her shoulders as her
sparkling dark skin shone in the bright room.
She smiled as she shut the bathroom door.
She walked erotically to the bed where the
man was lying down, wearing nothing but his
boxer shorts. She kissed him again, igniting
his whole body with fiery passion.
She kissed his ears, trailing her tongue from
his earlobe to his fleshy neck. As she kissed
his neck, she kept her eyes on him, waiting for
his most vulnerable point. As he closed his
eyes, enjoying the tease, she released the
capsules from under her tongue and broke
them with her teeth still inside her mouth. As
the capsule began to melt in her mouth, she
immediately went to his lips and began
kissing him furiously, passing the contents of
her mouth into his. He was too excited to
notice. The odorless and tasteless candy
capsule melted in both mouths as she kissed
and touched his most sensitive parts.
The red capsule was designed to stop the
user’s heart 15seconds after melting. The
green capsule was going to neutralize the
detection of any foul play when the forensics
team checked for cause of death. He would be
certified dead from a heart attack. They were
called Twin Silencers and had to be
administered at the exact same time. As Eva
kissed him, she began counting down silently.
She kissed him faster and kneaded his
nippl3s. When she had counted up to 8, she
began to feel her heartbeat slowing. She got
up from the man.
“Hey baby. Where are you going?” He asked
trying to get up
“Hold on baby. Let me get the contraceptive
from the bathroom.” She said pushing him
gently back on bed.
She felt herself getting out of breath. She
hurried into the bathroom and got her purse.
Inside one of its very thin pockets, she got out
a small syringe about the size of a toothpick.
She tapped her arm, got a vein and quickly
injected the syringe. It contained the antidote
to the Twin Silencers. She was already losing
breath when she injected herself. Her
heartbeat began to rise and then stabilized.
She opened the bathroom door and got out.
The Chief of Army Staff was dead.
Now she had to leave the premises. Their suite
was on the first floor. She went to the balcony
and looked down from the railing. The pool
was empty and there was no one in sight. She
put on her panty and her sexy bra. She had
practiced diving at this height twice a day for
six weeks. Missions like this irked her. They
were too simple and straightforward. It did
not really give her the kick and adrenalin rush
she was used to for eight months now.
She took in a deep breath and plunged from
the railing of the balcony, into the pool. She
felt tempted to remain in the water and enjoy
the cooling sensation it gave. But time was of
the essence. She got to the edge of the pool
and came out, dripping wet. As she
approached the changing room she silently
prayed that Shina had her escape route ready.
She entered the changing room. She saw a
shopping bag on the floor. The bag contained
everything she needed. She smiled.
She took out a towel from the bag and
mopped her body. There was a waitress outfit
in the bag. The exact type as the one used in
the hotel. She dressed up as quickly as she
could. By now she was sure that the Chief’s
body would have been found. She removed the
blue contact lens in her eyes and replaced
them with green ones. She took out her
artificial detachable fingernails and the
eyelashes. There was a face contortion, a
piece of gum, a lighter, a wig and scissors in
the bag. She removed the wrapper of the gum.
A small map was designed on the gum. It was
her escape route. She memorized the map,
threw the gum in her mouth and chewed. She
closed her eyes. She loosened the Brazilian
hair the chief had bought for hair earlier in the
day and cut it into tiny shreds. She wore the
wig and the face contortion. The face
contortion was like a transparent mask. It
changed her facial features, giving her an
oblong face and high cheek bones. She put the
shreds of hair into the shopping bag and set it
on fire. She threw the lighter in the flames and
shut the changing room door.
Eva opened the back door. She walked through
a long corridor till she came to the kitchen
entrance. There was only one Chef on duty and
he seemed to be more concerned with the
carrots he was chopping. He looked up, saw
Eva and continued with his carrots. Eva took
an aluminum tray from the cutting table and
moved to the restaurant section of the hotel.
There was no one in the restaurant. She went
left and opened a door leading to the
reception. A pretty lady was at the desk. Eva
leaned forwards on the reception table, hiding
the tray behind her and mumbled a few
incoherent words. The receptionist could not
hear what Eva was saying so she came closer.
As the receptionist leaned forwards, Eva hit
her hard on the side of her face with the tray.
The receptionist slumped.
Eva smiled at the cameras. She knew that
everything was being captured by the
cameras. She cat walked out of the reception,
with the tray in hand.
A parked black Lexus Jeep to Eva’s left
flashed it headlights twice as Eva stepped out
of the hotel. She crossed her hand across her
shoulders. The Jeep sped to where she was.
She got in and they sped away.
“How was it?” Shina asked at the wheel,
looking sideways at her.
“Piece of cake.” Eva said.
To be continued…

>>

Zindagi ki raho me ishq na mile,

Is bedard zamane se kuch na mile,

Hum gum Kyon kare ki wo hame na mile,

ARE…!!

Gam to wo kare jinhe hum na mile.Related

BLIND BY NATURE EPISODE 11 (STORY BY DINDY)
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story…
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian’s dad jumped out of his dream with the face of fear written all over, he opened his eyes widely; like a beast hungry for blood and flesh, he could feel tears on his face, he could still feel the heavy disorderliness he felt in his dream, he was having a great feel of lost, his head felt like exposing, his heart rate was like that of a racing horse, his hands were shaking like a phone vibrating. He could hear the sound of his racing heart; the speed at which his heart raced felt like it was going to race out of his chest, so he placed his right hand on his chest to hold his heart back not to escape his body (like it could).
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He looked to his left and saw an old man sitting beside him with a walking-stick placed in-between his legs and both his hands placed on his legs; the old man was looking worried, his eyes were looking towards the directing of the door leading to the check up room. Then suddenly a nurse (from the direction which the old man looked at) came out assisting an old lady.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> When the old man saw them his frown changed into a big grin smile, his right hand moved with joy and held the walking-stick, then he placed his left hand on the chair; his left hand pushed against the chair making his body lift up the chair while his right hand held on to the walking-stick tightly to support his body firmly, his hands worked well enough which enabled him to stand up from the chair properly.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> The nurse right hand was holding the old lady’s right hand while her left hand was on the old lady’s waist supporting her back for her not to fall, the old lady’s head was looking downwards so as not to miss a step, the nurse’s head was also looking down so as to guard the old lady’s step and movement rightly. The old man walked to meet the nurse and the old woman with a smile on his face; like he just won the key to the universe. The old lady looked up and saw him coming, immediately a smile came on her face, the nurse noticed that she was smiling so she looked up towards the direction the old lady looked and smiled, when she looked up she saw the old man then she smiled because now she knew why the old lady was smiling. The old man walked up to the old lady and he gave her a sweet hug.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian’s dad withdraw his attention from there and then looked to his right hand side and saw Julian placing her head backwards on the chair, she had her hands folded together below her stomach region, her eyes were closed, her legs were crossed.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian wasn’t asleep; she was fully awake but her mind was in a pool filled with different thoughts and emotions, her mind was flashing back at the dream she dreamt and the face of Celestin which she felt….
[JULIAN’S THOUGHT]=> I kinda fear that the dream I dreamt is gonna take place. When I placed my hand on his face I could feel, death, sorrow, and stress, even his breathing speed rate was dying fast. His face has this amazing structure that I haven’t felt in my life, Wait!; why am I thinking of this guy so much, I’m not even sure that he might still be alive, what is really wrong with me? Why does the structure of his face keep ringing in my heart. Am I in love?, how can that be?, I barely know him….
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> She was not at rest thinking of Celestin, she couldn’t get Celestin of her mind; it was as if Celestin was a part of her.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian’s dad was now a little bit relax after seeing his daughter, her presence made him feel alright, his fast racing heart reduced, he removed his hands from his chest and then clapped them together, he bent down throwing his face forward, his eyes were calm a bit but his mind was still hanging on to what the dream gave him (fear), he then started to think…….
[JULIAN’S DAD THOUGHTS]=> ah!, so it was not real, I was actually dreaming, thank God oo (he said rubbing both hands in a synchronized manner of saying thank you to God). I just pray for the dream not to find its way to reality, if it does then I don’t just know what will became of my life and of my family, I can’t goto jail now, my daughter needs me badly right now more than ever I can’t afford to leave her right now……
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> As he was thinking and wondering in his world, he didn’t give attention to any other thing around him, it was as if he was sleeping with both eyes opened. An image stood beside him without his knowledge.
IMAGE: “Sir”, said the image calling the attention of Julian’s dad.
IMAGE: “HELLO SIR”, said again the image due to the lack of reply it got during the first call.
[WRITE SPEAKS]=> Julian’s dad still didn’t answer at all, even not the noise of the rushing nurses flickered him, his mind was thinking about what he dreamt; he was in a traffic of clouds were everything was in stop and everything around him was a closed dimension.
IMAGE: “Sir”, said the image tapping Julian’s dad with its left hand.
Julian’s dad: “huh, oh sorry Doc. Didn’t notice you were here”, he said quickly standing up to talk to the doctor.
Doctor: “I know you are worried about the young man you brought here”, he said.
Julian’s dad: ” yes sir I am seriously worried”, he said looking paled.
Doctor: ” well sir….” He said opening a file on his hand.
Julian’s dad: “yes yes, what happened to the young man; is he dead?”, he questioned the doctor with fear in his thoughts, making the doctor not to complete his statement.
Doctor: “Sir please relax, keep calm”, he said placing his left hand on Julian’s dad right shoulder.
Julian’s dad: “ok sir”, he said.
Doctor: Looked at Julian’s dad and said with a lovely smile, ” the young man survived the operation, he is safe and sound………
……FLASH BACK TO THE OPERATION ROOM (THE SPIRIT WORLD)….
Celestin: “No!, wait dad, if I follow you now will I ever return back to the world?”, he ask with a face filled with questions.
Celestin’s dad: “No son you won’t, you will be with me and your mum always, there is no stress in that place, you will smile all day, no sorrow, or pain, things there are better than things in the world, I assure you that you won’t want to come back when we get there”, he said with a peaceful tone in his voice.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Celestin looked at his old man in way showing that he was not convinced enough.
Celestin: “Dad I don’t think I wanna go there any more”, he said removing his dad’s hand from his neck and moving his left leg backwards.
Celestin: “Dad I feel I haven’t completed my mission on earth, I feel I shouldn’t leave for now, if I follow you right now I will regret it”, he said turning back……to be continue…..STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI………whatsapp number:07087750433…. [email protected]@gmail.com or
[email protected] facebook namessy nnamdi…….Skype: 07087750433 or [email protected].[email protected]@ossynnamdi


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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wise akpos [Read it]


Three business associates, Akpos, a
Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat
lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere.
While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in
through the window. It flew across the table
to where the Akpos was but he just
waved his hands to chase it away.
The fly then went to where the Yoruba man
was, he also chased it away.
Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese
man was and was flying close to his ears. The
Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime
and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and
swallowed it.
The other men saw this but just kept on
eating.
About Five minutes later, another fly came in
and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased
it away again.
It then flew on toAkpos but this time
he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for
sometime and then grabbed it. He then
turned to the Chinese man and asked "how
much you go buy am?"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-01 14:33:19

563 Views




Toilets are a great place to think,

No wonder they are called “Sochalayas”Related

Safe cracker [Read it]


The local bank near a large prison had a problem opening their safe one day. Seems that the mechanisms working the combination failed, so they called the prison to seek help.
The prison had a convicted safe cracker in custody. They released him under guard and took him to the bank to see if he could open their safe.
The convict worked on the lock for quite a while but finally he was able to open the safe.
The bank president was delighted to see his safe opened without having to have it ruined in the process, he turned to the safe cracker and said, “Thanks for helping us out here, how much do we owe you?”
The safe cracker replied, “Well the last time I did one of these jobs I got about $100,000!”Related

husband and wife agreed that whenever they want to have sex they will call it ' phone call' so that the children won't understand. one day dad sand son to tell mum, that he went's to make a phone call mum, replies tell dad that network is busy to day; dad replies tell mum that the call is urgent. if the network is busy am going to a public phone booth: mum replies tell him that if he date goes to public phone booth, I Will open a business central and all phone calls will be free.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-05 21:44:36

247 Views




The morning was cold and dry. The harmattan haze was just starting to clear.

This was the weather Professor Ilonna usually wore a knit cap, socks and sometimes gloves most part of the day.

But now, as he leaned on the balcony railing watching the sloping scenery, he was wearing neither.

‘Are you really my father?’ a voice came from behind him, causing him to turn to his back at once.

Adaeze stood at the door, staring at him with no obvious emotion.

‘What did you just say?’ Prof asked, straightening up fully.

‘Answer the question, dad. Are you really my father?’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘I think you do.’

Prof stared at his daughter. ‘Adaeze,’ he called, ‘even if perchance this is our first meeting, would you look at my face and still bother to ask if we are related?’

‘Dad, we look alike, yes, but that’s not enough proof.’

‘What more proof do you seek then?’

Adaeze looked on.

‘Tell me, child, what would be enough evidence for you? Haven’t I always treated you like a father?’

‘Who is my mum?’

A new expression crept into Prof’s eyes. ‘Have you not met your mother?’ he asked. ‘Do you not know her?’

Adaeze only stared.

Prof took one step to her. ‘I know, my child,’ he said, ‘I know how hard it must be for you to deal with the shame and dishonour that woman have brought to us, but that is not enough reason for this doubt, my dear. It absolutely isn’t.’

‘If everything is like I’ve always known it to be then why would Nnanna tell me to my face that I am not his sister?’

‘He what?’

‘He said that I am not his sister.’

Prof waved. ‘Oh dear, do not concern yourself too much. You and I know that boy has become sort of a troubled fellow for quite some time now. The utterance is obviously one of his strange ways, there is nothing more to it.’

Adaeze took out the photograph from the pocket of her shorts. ‘Then why do I sit here as a baby beside Ekene in this photograph?’

Prof took the picture from her and looked at it. ‘This is madness,’ he said, and to Adaeze’s horror tore the picture to shreds.

***

A small bus painted yellow and red jolted to a halt at the bus-stop.

Ekene came down from it.

He straightened the piece of paper in his hand and looked at the address on it again.

Then he folded back the paper and put in his wallet.

He crossed the road and walked to the corner where bike men clustered together as though in preparation for a race.

He passed a few beckoning hands and stopped in front of the bike man that looked the oldest.

He told him the address.

‘One-fifty,’ the man said.

Without a second haggle he climbed onto the bike and the man drove off.

The bike tooted to a halt in front of a short brown gate. The gate was partly closed.

He came down and paid the bike man.

He walked past the gate into a small compound. The building was three-storey and badly painted—bright-brown in some parts, flaxen in others.

He saw a young man washing clothes at a corner, beside a tall, slender-stemmed coconut tree.

He greeted him and the boy nodded.

‘Please I’m looking for Mr John,’ he said.

The boy’s face creased. ‘Mr John, Mr John?’

‘He is average in height and used to work with the police.’

The boy’s dark lips burst open in a show of recollection. ‘Ah, Oga Johnbosco?’

‘Yes.’

‘Go up. Second floor. Flat 2D.’

‘Thanks a lot.’

At the door, he knocked.

A haggard-looking dark woman opened the door.

Before he could say something to her, a child’s voice came from inside, ‘Mummy, Sandra has broken it!’

The woman turned back into the house and yelled, ‘Emmanuel take your sister into your room now!’

‘Mummy, Sandra has broken the drumming man!’

‘Emmanuel now before I come there and break your head!’ She turned back to Ekene. ‘Yes, my dear,’ she said.

Ekene did not know if it was right for him to feel pity for this woman whose kids obviously had not given peace for days.

‘Good evening, ma,’ he greeted.

‘Evening, my dear.’

‘Please, is Mr John in?’

‘No, he is not yet back from work.’

‘Okay, can I stay and wait for him?’

‘Okay,’ the woman said. ‘But who are you?’

‘I am his son.’

TO BE CONTINUED

comments please

>>

Continues
Miranda: mind if I join??
Me: you can join us…
Miranda: aren’t you gonna invite me over to your seat?
Presley: if I don’t invite you,
You can’t! come over by yourself right?
Melissa: invite her already. You and I both know you are dying to have her near you
Presley: alright you can come sit with me
Miranda: okay thanks..
Presley: so you see charles she is already here
Charles: as if I care!
Preston: there is still one group remaining so where are they?
Smith: you mean the freedom fighters?
Preston: exactly the F.F
Smith: I called the leader already he is on his way.
Me: thats Huge
Preston:am sorry but we will leave this place
Me: no problem
All the groups trained and fought with each other getting ready for the fight brenden had threatened them with.. yet the freedom fighters were nowhere to be found.
Preston: now we are all ready for the fight. Lets together wipe out brenden and his evil cult groups. They shall be put to justice and in all our master must be avenged….brenden is a threat to the confras as far as he knows our weaknesses and skills we must help one another…kill those who kills your brother and……….(phone rings )
Preston: hello
Caller: I have beem watching you lately bro.. I would really want you to come to campus and see for yourself. You can wait for eternity for the freedom fighters by the grace of your master you may se one member…(phone cuts)
Smith: whats happening? That must be brenden
Preston: I am sure. We need to get to campus right now
Me: I am coming with you..
Preston: no you are not. Just stay here
Me: but promise me you will be safe…
Preston: I promise(he kissed me and left with all the confras)…
************IN THE CAMPUS*************
When all the confras landed on campus, the F.F were seen. Some hanged infront of the university’s main hall. Some were beheaded and their heads placed on every signboard in the university……
Smith: this is horror!
Preston: cant believe our brothers suffered this fate…
Shadow: its time to move a pawn…
Brenden: well well well..look what we’ve got here(hitting a knife on his hand)
Preston: why do this to the F.F? Are you that heartless?
Brenden: you should be glad the rest went into their hideouts
Preston: hmmm. Why didnt you come to the hideout and see if your bone will be seen?
Brenden: that was exactly the reason I did this. I killed these weaklings to bring all of you out of that place, and guess what! It actually works.
by now I think milly will be in a state of emergency..( smiling wickedly)
Preston: you know not the rule of chess
Brenden: you know it more better so make a move..
As preston turned too go back
Brenden: oh brother not too fast…(preston turned)..
Groups of boys came out. It was as if they were invincible earlier…
To be continued..


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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earn real money [Read it]


Earn real money online by working as a part time job easily, earn up to 2500$ dollars weekly guranteed join link at



Nigeria Joke: Three Politicians

Three prominent politicians in Nigeria boarded the same flight to from Abuja to Lagos.

The first Politician started, “I can throw one N1000 note down and make one person laugh.”

“I can make two persons laugh with just two N500 notes.” the second politician replied.

The third politician retorted, “With just five pieces of N200 notes, I can make five people laugh.”

The pilot then looked at the politicians and added, “I’m the pilot here, meaning I can throw all of you down and make more than 150 million Nigerians laugh.”


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-09 08:45:09

134 Views




Kahin Kaale-Gore lad rahe hai to kahin Hindu-Musalman..

Kahin Israel-Gaza to kahin India-Pakistan..

Pyaar to Bhenchod sirf Blue Flims me hi reh gaya hai..Related

I expected that I should be happy that Timi and Annie were no more an item, but I wasn’t. It felt good knowing that he won’t be straffing her again, but it left too many uncertainties. Before now I consoled myself that the only reason why Timi didn’t come back to me was because of Annie. She seemed a formidable replacement.
As I watched him drive, I felt bad. Was he heartbroken? Abayomi was gisting about the changes Gbenga Daniel had brought to the state when he came in 2003, but now, all he did was loot the state dry. Toun, who was an avid PDP fan, disagreed. I had little interest in politics, I know Timi liked Gbenga Daniel, but he was quiet.
Abayomi: So Timi, would you come pick us for the party tonight?
Timi: I won’t be going
Toun: why na, because of your heartbreak?
Timi laughed..
I decided that I might put rat poison in Toun’s indomie
Me: you should come na, Annie might be there. You guys can even make-up.
Abayomi: plenty other girls will be there..you can have your pick
Toun: you think everybody is as cheap as Kofo?
Abayomi stared at the passing cars..
Me: but if you really don’t wanna come, it’s alright.
For the remaining time spent in Timi’s car, we spoke about the unknown Umar Yaradua, who was PDP’s presidential flag bearer. The only thing we knew about him was that he was the katsina state governor that voluntarily declared his assets.
Though Abayomi and Toun wanted me to follow them home for Sunday rice, I declined. I had clothes to wash, books to read and privately sort out my emotional life.
I also wanted to know who had given the orders for our Kidnap. Though Toun believed National had something to do with it, I had a feeling it was bigger than National. Something told me what Abayomi and I were campaigning for was more than the SUG position.
Aisha was one of those popular girls in school, the kind of girl that spent so much on clothes that you wondered if her house was a boutique. She was also known for clubbing hard. I was surprised that she had chosen her house as the venue for the party. Toun was sitting on my bed, drinking nutri-c while helping me decide what to wear.
Toun: National is gaining grounds over us
Me: how do you know?
Toun: Timi was telling me that mini-campus might be ours, but we would share the main-campus with National. The college of medicine and Engineering might just be our waterloo.
Me: and what is he doing about it?
Toun: all he can, you know he is a student also, and immediately after the elections, comes exam.
Me: true..
I settled for an armless top and a black jean. Before we went for the party, we decided to quickly visit Chibuzor, he had arrived from the hospital the day before. His girlfriend wasn’t around when we got to his room.
Me: Chiboy, I see you are better now
Chibuzor: stop jor, I know you people came to mock me
Toun: No jor, we were scared that day o…have you ever considered dropping out and starting a Ministry?
Me: you are mad Toun. Don’t mind her jor, every once in a while s--t like that happens..
Chibuzor: how did I behave , tell me what I said.
Toun: ask your girlfriend na..
Chibuzor: we are having issues,she said I embarrassed her.
Toun: finally , you fucck up sha..
Me: Toun and I just decided to come say hello..we will be on our way now..
Toun: no!..Chibuzor I am hungry o…you get beans?
I practically dragged her out of the room. Chibuzor was laughing but you could clearly see that he was embarrassed.
Abayomi arrived shortly, he came with Chukwudi, one guy like that in maths science. They came with some drinks that we started sipping to prepare ourselves for the party ahead. Sometime later I got a text..
Timi = changed my mind, see you at the party.
I felt awesome!
Me= you really don’t have to come.
I hoped he wouldn’t take my text serious, I was already regretting it when I got another text.
Timi = I don’t have to, I want to…
Aisha stayed in a four bedroom apartment that she shared with her friends. Outside the apartment, the smell of Marijuana was competing with oxygen. Music of MoHITS, the rave of the moment was blasting with gyration.
Cuz I want to dance with you pere…..
Omo ma lo rope mo kere……
If your boyfriend come mi ma mere….
Abayomi and Chukwudi saw people that knew them outside, so they left us to our whims. Like decent people that girls were and men will never be, we looked for Aisha to tell her happy birthday. Girls were already grinding their male counterparts to the sweet voice of Wande Cole. I finally sighted Aisha..
Aisha: babes howfar, you guys made it..
We went for a hug. She was wearing what we called a micro-mini . her boyfriend, a student of Uni-LAG that spent most of his time in Ago..was hanging around her like a fly to s--t. As food was one of my Forte, I left Toun and Aisha to continue with their small talks, whilke I went to look for edibles. I saw a tray of fried chiken in her kitchen . I picked a piece and wanted to munch it when I saw his familiar sweet face. He was sitting with a group of people arguing about Atiku’s chances in the election as a candidate for ACN. He must have seen me because he stood up abruptly and walked up to me.
Timi: you are looking hot
Me: you are not looking bad yourself..
He handed me a cup of ponch. If it were another guy, I would have rejected it, but it was Timi..my Timi.
Timi: where is Toun and Abayomi?
Me: Toun is with Aisha, Abayomi is with Chukwudi..
Timi: you are with me
The fine boy was flirting with me..
Me: yes I am with you
Timi: come let’s dance..
He led me to the dancing area, the Dj changed the song to P-square’s “Do Me”. Timi didn’t waste time in spinning me around so that my shaking bum was against his jerking waist. His right hand was on my waist, ..he leaned to my ears and spoke:
Timi: are you seeing anyone?
Me: no…why?
Timi: I want you back, nkem
Me: like that?, I must look cheap.
Believe me, what my mouth was saying and what my waist was doing was different. I liked this boy too much.
Timi: no boo, I am crazy about you…I know you like me too..
Proud idiot..
Me: yes I like you, but I must know what happened the first time. Why you left me. I begged you like a slave, I almost ran mad. You didn’t blink. What did I do to you Timileyin?
I turned and faced him, looked at him and I swear I saw pain. My hand went around his shoulder as we danced along. That was when I saw the dark figure sitting down. If what I saw in Timi’s eyes was pain, what I saw in the dark figure’s eyes was unreadable.
Jafar’s eyes were blank as Timi held my waist to “ Lori le o di Gobe”.
]Two girls were in other sides of him. They had red cups of what I suspected was ponch. Jafar didn’t seem to be drinking. I removed my eyes from his darkness and concentrated on Timi…or tried to concentrate.
Timi: we would talk about it tonight
Me: I will be glad
Timi: I hope you understand though
Me: why didn’t you explain to me while you were still with Annie?
Timi: when I explain, you would understand
I just quiet and allowed myself enjoy the song. When I stole a glance at Jafar, he was gone, although his space was maintained as the girls sat in the opposite sides of his absence. The house was filled to the brim, twas like everybody turned up. I saw one of Jafar’s goon just a distance away, the one that led the assault on Acho. He was there to protect me, I felt protected as he smoked his cigarette and his eyes never left me.
Toun and Abayomi entered the house and started dancing immediately. You could see that they were crazy about each-other. As we both danced, I felt this was how it was supposed to be. I felt alive.
When Annie walked in with her pussycat dolls, I felt a bit awkward, Timi didn’t see her but I did. She looked at me too, instead of the frown I expected, she smiled.
I had to take a breather so I went back to the kichen to eat another chiken. Toun followed me and the aproko in her was just annoying.
Toun: you and Timi back?
Me: no jor..
Toun: the way you were giving it to that poor boy, him D--k go don dey pain am. You guys ought to straff o…just for old times’ sake
Me: you no get sense.
Toun: this chiken is the truth.
We munched and gisted about what the girls were wearing when we heard a sound that you shouldn’t hear in a party. The kitchen had a small store that was slightly opened. Toun went to peep, then came back smiling, she beckoned on me to join her in peeking. Though it was dark, we could see the girl holding the drum of water with bum shot backwards with the guy ramming her like his life depended on it. National’s eyes were closed as he grabbed the bum he fuccked. Kofo’s moan was getting louder as she seemed to be cuming . I underrated the size of the girl’s ikebe o..it swallowed National’s D--k without preamble.
Toun and I ran like little kids to look for Abayomi so we can tell him about what we saw, as we ran we passed people drinking, some people smooching themselves at the doorway, we hadn’t searched for long when I saw something. Something I wished I never saw. I saw Timi talking to Annie at such close proximity, that any movement would have seen them enter each-other. He looked so embroiled in the discussion that he didn’t see me. But Annie saw me; she kissed him and held him tight. He held her too. I kept walking, I didn’t want Toun to see them. I didn’t want the pity.
Abayomi and Chukwudi were talking when Toun interrupted and whispered in his ears. I tried to act like I was still elated, but I wasn’t anymore. I just wanted to drown. For the second time, Timi was breaking my heart.
To be continued

>>

,%'''% .,.%'''%,
% INVITATION.%
'% CARD 4 .%
% EASTER %
'%, 2016 ,%'
"%,:,%"
%
The family of Mr, Joseph & Mrs, Mary of Bethlehem invite u to the resurrection party of their beloved son Jesus Christ which will be held on Sunday, 27-03-2016 y'r presence will glorify the function.
"HAPPY EASTER" 2016. Hope am de 1st person 2 invite u on dis party.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-25 22:58:22

388 Views




Research shows men are fatter than women bcoz every night men get fresh milk & 2 big mangoes while women only get 1 banana, 2 nuts and 1 spoon curd.Related

The clinical term for a hairy buttocks is “daysypgal.”Related

If a man does only what is required of him, he is a slave. If a man does more than is required of him, he is a free man.

~ Chinese ProverbRelated

Times-Episode 2 [Read it]


The Bells College which was Kiitan's school was about having its termly Parents Teachers Association Meeting.Letters had been sent out to all parents and the school hall was beautifully decorated. Since the ss3 students were having tutorials for their upcoming exams,the ss2 students were asked to usher in the parents.Kiitan was posted to the school's main entrance where she was to walk the parents down to the hall."At least your own job is to usher them into the hall.Can you imagine,I was asked to stand at the left wing of the hall...with Pamela!!",Fiyin had complained.
Pamela Wilson was an arch-enemy of Kiitan and her clique.Rumours had it that Pamela had eyes for Bode but was devastated when he started dating Kiitan,so she tried making things difficult for Kiitan."you'd never have the keys to Bode's heart,so stop trying so hard to frustrate us ehn",Kiitan had once warned after she caught Pamela winking seductively at Bode.
Everyone was actually surprised when Kiitan and Bode became an item because Kiitan had always expressed her hatred for Bode when she joined Bells College in ss1.He was a renowned player and was never serious with any girl.His friends usually called him "chop and drop" but all that stopped the minute he realised he had feelings for Kiitan."Every player has a girl that drives him nuts",Bode had once said.At first,Kiitan had publicly told Bode that she could never date him but she later found herself falling for him which Fiyin was not comfortable with."Ah,I just don't know what you saw in that guy.He's not that handsome sef.""Hmph,Fiyin!Abi you like Bode ni??""Ehn,God forbid.He's not my type from here to anywhere".All that was two months ago and Fiyin had learnt to accept Kiitan's wish.
Weeks after the PTA meeting,Kiitan and Fiyin were walking home when a dark skinned,plump girl crossed their path."Ahah,Please excuse us",Fiyin said."Hey!Am not talking to you please",the girl screamed and then faced kiitan,"So you are the idiot who has been trying to steal my boyfriend eh?""Sorry,but I dont think its right for you to cross people and start claiming boyfriend.""You are still speaking english abi?Well am Bolanle Oshinowo and Bode George is my boyfriend!"Kiitan stood dumbfounded and could not find the right words."whaa..whaa..sorry,what did you just say?"Bolanle hissed and gave Kiitan a threatening look before walking out."Don't believe her oh,Kiitan.She's just someone like Pamela.You can't be sure oh"."I should not believe her?Did you not see the look in her eyes??Just shut up,Fiyin!Gosh!!""KIItan,you are too quick to believe things.well,that's your business oh".Their journey home was silent as Kiitan could not help but think about Bolanle's words.
The minute Kiitan got home,she flipped open her laptop and checked her facebook page.She typed "BOLANLE OSHINOWO" and on sighting the profile picture which looked like Bolanle,she scrolled down to check the other pictures.Suddenly,she saw a particular picture which made her gasp.It was a picture of Bode and Bolanle kissing!!

To be continued.
Thanks for the comments.Highly Appreciated.

>>

Confession! [Read it]


A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
“You will understand,” he said, “the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an affair with his boss’s wife. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that, and I had, indeed come to, a fine parish full of understanding and loving people.”
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.
“I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.”Related

Akpors in an examination Hall

Name 10 wild Animals

2 Tigers, 2 Lions, 3 Python, 2 chimpazee and 1 crocodile

1 words 4 akpors



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-04 09:25:33

418 Views




Always have a unique character like SALT, It’s presence is not felt but it’s absence makes all things tasteless.Related

CAMPUS BABE
Episode 8

Sometimes,life takes us places we
never
thought we could be and makes
us
realise some mistakes we made
but
shouldn’t have in the first place.
On my
way to meet charles,I was
involved in a
car accident. The driver of the taxi
lost control of the sterring
whEel,the next
thing I realised was that the car
started
swirling about 360 degrees,this
happened in four consecutive
sessions. I
had never felt so close to dying,I
really
thought I was going to die,I
covered both ears with my left
and right hand and shut
my eyes tightly,images of the
people I
love began to flash;my mum,my
dad,my
siblings and my superman-Femi…
Shortly after the vigorous spin and
the
continous shouting of “JESUS” by
myself and the rest members of
the vehicle,I
opened my eyes and looked
upwrds
thankfully for the gift of life.I
took it
upon myself that I had just been
given a
second chance to make things
right.I
knew it was a miracle(how else
would you explain coming out of
a vehicle with
FOUR deflated tyres,without even
a
SCRATCH??).
The whole experience was really
traumatic for me,I couldn’t tell
Femi
though we talked,but I told
charles. After
telling him what happened,Charles
was
willing to love me with his life,but
then I
realised that I couldn’t even
pretend to love him. Femi was the
one and only guy
I’ve ever loved.I coulndt stand
charles’
presence around me,he was a
really cute
guy with a big heart but I just
couldn’t do
it. I felt really bad but two days
after,I
came clean with him and told him
I only wanted to use him.I
apologized to him
and he forgave me.
Finally,the holidays were over and
we
were back to school.Femi and I
got back
together and I told him about my
previous plans to make him
jealous and he simply smiled and
with that soft
charming voice(the type I was a
sucker
for),he said “what’s meant to be
will be,
and that’s what we are;MEANT TO
BE. I’ll
always love you” After this,I said
“I’ll
always love you too” and we
kissed,there and then on the road
(though it was late in the evening)

while strolling down with him,I
realised
how much I loved him,so much
that
somtimes it scares


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Continues..

He locked the door. He threw the key to
someone I
didn’t bother checking. My hope of the button
was
now gone as it was in the sitting room. It was
just me,brenden,and the rooms. All the rooms were
locked except I and Miranda’s room. He
walked up to
me and I ran into the room and was about
locking it
when brenden pushed it and the door moved against
me and I fell on the floor. He locked the door
himself
and threw the key away.
Brenden:you can’t run from me. Don’t you get
we are meant for each other. Me:brenden no,no,no,no,no, you are drunk
understand
your condition first please.
Brendenf course baby. I am fine and not drunk.
I was crawling with my back on the floor. My
plan was to enter the bathroom and lock it. As I was
crawling, he dragged me back with my legs and
he
quickly knelt in the middle of my legs. He was
already
pulling his clothes. He didn’t pull his boxers. He was
loosening my robe. I struggled with him
disallowing
him to. He couldn’t loosen it because if the
struggles
he slapped me hard with his back of his hand and I felt paralysed. The slap was just too hard
on my face. He
loosened my robe and saw my b----t looking at
him
and my v****a open at him. He smoked seeing
them and licked his lips. I was helpless and hopeless. I
couldn’t control the years that were running
down my
cheeks uncontrollably. I still begged him to leave
me Alone. I wasnt ready for s-x at all and it could
have its effects.
Me:brenden,please, no,no,no,no,please I beg if
you,forgive me if I wronged you but please just
leave
me alone I promise to be your girlfriend
afterwards please,brenden please. All my pleads fell into
deaf ears. I was about talking to
him when I felt something enter me with force.
The
pain I felt was undescribable. I shouted for help. I
screamed on the top of my voice but no one was there to help me. The music was still playing and
the
duplex my girls was, was still far from the main
house I was. His pace at which he went in and
out of me was
fast and rough. I could hear him moan pleasurably. I
cried and cried. He just kept banging me harder
and
faster. I tried to push him off but instead he
pressed
my hands against the floor. I couldn’t even catch a
breath. He wanted to kiss me but I threw my
face away. I hated him from that moment. I felt
being used.
He s----d my n-----s and bit the tips. I felt pains
everywhere not pleasure. He continued until he came
out and cummed. He smiled at me and entered
my
bathroom and did whatsoever I didn’t care to
know
and came out. I couldn’t walk neither could I stand I lied there and tied my robe again. I hate
him to the
fullest.

To be continued


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On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

A teacher asked his students, 1+1=?
A student stood up and said 4.
Akpos passing by overheard the answer
He shake his head and said to himself
My God, Jonathan will not kill us in this country
Every thing has increase,
Transport fare, fuel price, nomination forms,
WAEC, NECO, JAMB Form
Even 1+1 that used to be 2 has now gone up to be
4!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-14 22:55:05

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