Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Girl: I love you!

Santa: OMG! I love me, too.Related

Mumbai Weather is behaving like a stubborn sexy woman,

Extremely hot but refusing to get wet????????Related

SPOILT KIDS [Read it]


i was standing in front of my apartment today waiting for any available bike, two kids ran to me (a boy and a girl) and the girl asked me this
Brother pls can a girl of 6 yrs get pregnant
and i said "NO"
and the boy said to her didn't i told you!!! come lets go and continue
And I ShouTed Continue What??



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-03-30 01:29:49

277 Views



WHAT I HATE [Read it]


*Kissing your man is not the problem. The problem is how you
do it. Stop making sounds like car crash, "pitomm, piitom! Abeg
you dey disturb me jare
*Making sounds during sex is romantic and not a problem, but
the problem is shouting like weerre, 'Jesus! Chim ooo! Oh my
God! Yessu?"...you are having sex, not a church service. I dont
know if you are reminding God to punish you later.
*Wearing short skirts or dresses is not a problem, infact, its very
sexy. The problem is trying to pull it down when you see guys.
Now, you want it to be long abi? Keep deceiving yourself.
*Loving your man is not a problem, the problem is changing
your name to his on facebook. His mother doesnt even know
you.
*Calling all men dogs, is not a problem, the problem is tagging
yourself a saint, when you know he didnt have sex with himself ,
he 'dog' it with you. So since you did it with him / them, kindly
say, I have been sleeping with a dog or dogs, as the case may be.
Know the breed of dog you came to this world from, because,
your father is male too.
*Some girls are looking for tall, sexy men with pink lips, while
their fathers are short, with pot bellies. You better be contented
like your mother.
*Bleaching your skin is not a problem. The problem is having a
white face, yellow hands, black knuckles, chocolate lips and
black legs, are you a zebra?
*If runs girls dont fail church service, every sunday, I wonder
who will...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-03 10:38:24

245 Views




Akpos enterd a mosque carryin a brand new cutlass
and askd
"who is a muslim here?". The whole mosque went as
silent as
grave yard, Akpos askd again "how can a ful mosque
have no
muslim?". No one replied, Akpos den grab the
nearby young man
nd goes out wit him and told him "son come help me
kill my goat
for i dnt knw hw to do it". After the young man hav
killed the goat,
he told Akpos dat he dnt knw hw to skin it and dat
Akpos shuld go
bak to the mosque nd get someone else to help him
on dat. Akpos
returned to the mosque wit the cuttlas drippin wit
blood, when the
IMAM saw this, he immediately shout "MY BROTHERS
IN CHRIST PRAISE THE LORD!". the whole mosque responded "
Halleluyaaah!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-22 05:38:48

415 Views




Sath Guzre Hue Din Or Raat Bhul Ja

Milne Na Degi Ab Hme Halaat Bhul Ja

Mausam Badal Gaya H Zamana Guzar Gaya

Ab Dobara Ho Mulakat Bhul Ja..Related

Words of Wisdom [Read it]


Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater.If you give her a sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.So, if you give her any aggravation, be ready to receive a ton of stuff in return.Related

It was the next day evening, chidi was seen at his compound near the swimming pool,Mr and Mrs uche came in the morning as they promised the previous day,after a lot of talking chidi promised to call Amara,which he did after they left,he told amara everything that happened, amare didn't buy the idea of her coming back but she gave it another thought when chidi told her Sandra will be very grateful if she witness her delivering which is just two weeks from now,amare promise to think about it,chidi will have her answer the next day.

Chidi has been thinking about a lot of things if only he knows what next to do,he knows whatever makes amara step her foot in nigeria again he has to get ready for another war,his phone began to ring that brought him back to reality, he look at the caller it was Emman.

Emman :chidi what's up

Chidi:not bad,just trying to know how to handle the little problem i have now

Emmanh....maxwell and amara parents came back again

Chidi:yes they did this morning but maxwell didn't come with them

Emman :so what was the conclusion

Chidi:none for now

Emman:chidi come on,why don't you just allow amara come and sort things out with her parents, no matter what they are till her family and you know she is carring maxwell chidi,yes I know what maxwell did was wrong but you can't denied him of his right,you can marry amara but you can never be the father of her child,try to think about it.

Chidi:am not trying to deprived him of his child am only protecting amara.

Emman:for how long will this fight last,now that your mother is behind you,you can fit all this,hold a meeting with them so that all this will end and you can get married to amara.

Chidi :that's a good idea but when it comes to maxwell, believe me he will want it to fall in his favour and that's not what will happen

Emman :don't think about that for now,just do it first and then see the outcome.

Chidi :i will give it a try

Emman :but that will be after amara returns,she have to be there,so please let her come.

Chidi:she will,i have already talk to her,she haven't given me any reply for now but i know she will listen to me.

Emman:good,now you are talking,i was kind of busy before you called but I will call you back when am done

Chidikey no problem talk later

They ended the call,chidi thought about what Emman said,it would work out well he thought.

Two days later amara was in nigeria, chidi went to pick her up from the airport, they were so happy to see eachother again, they have missed eachother so much,after ward chidi took amara to her house, chidi did like the idea of her going back to that house but amara insisted reason best known to her and he didn't bother to ask why because he felt amara know what she was doing,chidi pass the night at her place, they both have a wonderful night together watching movies, chatting over things,playing round the house,they both enjoyed themselves that night.

Morning came,chidi has to go home so he can get ready for work, Amara try to make him stay because she was sacred because of the bad dream she had in the night,but chidi told her he couldn't because he has an important meeting to attend to that morning and he can't afford to miss it,Amara gave up when she saw that she wouldn't convince him,they both came out,the gate was open for him,chidi kissed amara and drove off,Amara went in,she try to settle her mind but she was till having the same feeling that feeling of danger, she prayed in her heart nothing bad should happen to anyone close to her,not up to five minutes of driving chidi then realise he has forgotten his phone at amara place, he quickly turned and head back to her house, on getting there he parked outside the gate,he knock at the gate and it was open for him,he reached down to the sitting room door,amare was in the kitchen when she heard the door bell ring ,she was scared,she slowly walk down to the sitting room,she wasn't expecting anyone cause she hasn't inform anyone of her arrival.

Chidi:baby open up its me

Amara felt relieved, she quickly open the door

Amara :you came back

Chidi entered

Chidi:i forgot my phone,

Chidi went inside the bedroom and found his phone at the head side of the bed,he came back to the sitting room where amara was waiting for him.

Amara :have you found it

Chidi:yes,need to run along now

Amara key i will see you off,

Chidi took amara hand and they both went outside,amare was surprise not to see chidi car.

Amara :where is your car

Chidi:i parked it outside the gate

Amara key

They went outside the gate to where chidi has parked the car,chidi opened the car door,they both huged themselves, they were till hugging when a car drove pass them,chidi quickly saw one of the boys bringing out a gun,amare back the car which means if they shoot it will get to amara first before him but that he won't let happen,he quickly turned amara to his first position using his body to cover her the boy shoot at chidi driving pass them,the bullet landed on his back twice,

Amara :ah....ah....

she scream out low

Amara h my God

Chidi fall to the ground grieving in pain,that when when it occurs to amara that chidi was shoot, she reached down to chidi and held him crying.

Amara :chidi Chidi, somebody please help,no chidi stay with me.

Chidi was trying his best not to close his eyes,but the pain was too much for him,just then chidi sighted the car revealing,he was in pain but he thought they were coming to kill amara.

Chidi: the...y a..re com...ing back

Pointing at the direction the car is,that was when amara saw who shoot chidi and truly they were coming back to finish him off.

Chidi:yo...u ha...ve to.... go

Amara :no way am not leaving you here,let's get you to the hospital, you have to stay with me if you don't want me dead

Chidi gave out a weak smile, amare tryed and carry chidi,chidi also help with the little strength he has,amare put him inside the car,she quickly did the same.

Amara :where is the car key

Chidi tryed to speak but just couldn't, he was really loosing alot of blood, amare didn't wait for him to speak she began to search for the key in his pocket and she found it,the boys car got to the car screen when amara is sitted as soon as amara saw them she started up the engine and took off,the boys drove after them,the boys were very angry

Boy 2: drive faster we need to finish him off

He was talking to the number three boys who was driving, he immediately fire on

Boy 1:how could I have missed that shot,i was actually aiding for his head before he twist position.

Boy 3 :not to worry we will get him

He was driving as fast as he can but till their car was no match for an SUV range Rover shot,Amara in the other hand was scared and her hands was shaking at the wheel but she try to maintain balance, she needed to save chidi and nothing can stop that, she was driving really fast,she has never been on an high speed before that she fear she shouldn't get them killed, she looked at chidi who was seriously bleeding badly, chidi turned to amara and smiled at her.

Chidi:i...love.... you....

Amara :please don't say that now just hold on please.

She cried bitterly, she looked back and till found the boys car driving after them with full speed,

Amara :God please help us

She prayed to God because she really need a miracle not for herself but to save chidi life.....

....To be continue....

DORP YOU COMMENTS AND
READ NEXT EPISODE

(seriously i need your comments,if i don't get it I will not finished the story because it is already coming to an end,so what do you guys say).

....EPISODE 25....pending.....


Dear Dollar [Read it]


Dear Dollar,You slut…
Stop rising so much coz after 58 Government will retire you..Sincerely
Indian RupeeRelated

THE DEADLY MARK
(Love hunters)
Season 1
Episode 8
SAME NIGHT IN MRS JONAS HOUSE
Daniel vanished into the air without a trace after coming out of Mrs Jonas house which had a tree like flower in front it and a wooden stairway that led to the entrance of the house. Everywhere was dark but electric light shone in every nearby buildings. Cassandra and Grace moved to and fro shouting Daniel's name while Lawson and Kelly search around the tree premises still shouting the name of Daniel which actually increased the barking of dogs at a neighbour's building. Meanwhile, Thessy and Ruth sat beside the wall of the house crying bitterly covering their faces. Everybody watched Lawson moved angrily towards Mrs Jonas who stood at her door vibrating in fear.
"Now, can you tell us the meaning of this?! You said anybody that has the mark dies. How come the disappearance of Daniel without a trace within a twinkle of an eye?!" Lawson asked angrily.
"I don't know! You should also know that death comes in different ways!"
"Are you really saying that Daniel is dead and gone?" Ruth asked in tears.
"My dear, you don't know what the love hunters are capable of doing. I smell a big problem in the city of Kali"
Suddenly, an ambulance drove with a speed and stopped at a distance building which diverted their attention to see what was going on there. All stared at the ambulance in silence. They could see medical officers rushed out of the vehicle into the building and came out carrying a dead body. Seeing that, Cassandra was moved. She began to walk towards the road without knowing what she was doing or where she was going to.
"Cassandra!" the mother called but she kept moving.
"Cassandra! Cassandra!!" Lawson ran to touch her before she realised herself.
"He has the mark too" she said in tears pointing at the ambulance.
"Who are you talking about?!"
"The dead body"
Others began to draw closer when they heard it. Lawson was more confused.
"How do you know all these?" he asked Cassandra.
"I don't know! I just saw it"
"How did you see it!" Grace yelled.
"I said i don't know!"
Lawson walked out angrily towards the ambulance followed by others except Mrs Jonas who was still vibrating in fear at the door.
"Please, sir, may we see the dead body?" Lawson requested.
"What for?" the officer asked.
"We are looking for one of our own who just disappeared"
"Did you just say disappeared?"
Lawson kept quiet.
Seeing the seriousness on his face, the officer zipped the dead body opened and the mark was seen on his forehead. Thessy vomited in the gutter when she saw it.
"Do you know about the mark?" the officer asked.
"No, we don't know. And thanks for your effort" replied Lawson and he out out followed by others back to Mrs Jonas. She was then sitting in the parlour with the door opened. They entered and got sitted sluggishly in silence.
"I think there must be a solution to these" Ruth broke the silence.
"The only solution is.." Mrs Jonas paused and continued as everybody listened to her. "You all have to stay away from relationships, get rid of feelings of love and intimacy. Not that it will save you but it can only increase the number of days of your death. The love hunters only hunt the young people who are inlove, and this is also the period when people truly know those who love them"
"You mean i am the next to die because Daniel is.. was my boyfriend?"
"Yes, if you truly loved him" she replied.
"This whole thing is crazy!" Kelly shouted. Immediately, Grace ran outside.
"Come on baby, lets get out of here" Kelly held Thessy's hand, they also went out.
Lawson and Ruth stared at each other on the cushion. He stood up stretching his hand for her to grab. Ruth gently grabbed it and they went out too. "Thank you ma'am" Lawson turned and greeted Mrs Jonas.
Meanwhile, Cassandra was still crying with her legs folded and tied together with her hands on the cushion..
Grace ran into their house with tears in her eyes. She jumped on Mrs Vicker, her mother who was watching news in th contuine reading via??

AKPOS & HIS NEW ONLINE CHICK!!!
Akpos: Hi babe, wasup?
Girl: i`m cool thanks!
Akpos: u`re welcm, i`ll like 2 knw u wella
Girl: i`m Tichick, 19, slim & dark from Lasgidi.
Akpos: babe u`re the kind of girl i like.
Akpos continues: babe actually, my name is James Ovie Akpororo but my friends call me Akpos. I am 59 years old, I live in No16 Church street, Oshodi, Lagos. I have a supermarket @ 12 Femi Johnson street, Mushin, Lagos. Babe i like dating young girls like you. You can call me on 08028264598...
Girl: but oga u`re a family man. How will ur wife & daughter feel if they see me with u. Or don`t u think its wrong?
Akpos: babe dont even mention my useless daughter & her wayward mother here. They`re on their own & i have my life to live.
Girl: its ok then. But do u care to know more about me?
Akpos: babe give me ur full detail including ur bank account number
Girl: well, my full name is Augustina James Akpororo, i`m a primary 6 student of Gov`t School. my mum`s name is Gladys Akpororo, she sell fish @mushin. My father`s name is James Ovie Akpororo, he is a gateman @oshodi where we both live.
Akpos: Tina, so it is you!
Girl: Papa, so it is you! Akpos: Your mother must hear this
Girl: Papa, mama is here o


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-26 09:17:08

1011 Views




This story “The President’s Daughter And I” is written and solely owned by Victor U. James (Vict-Vames).

WhatsApp: 2347060981481
Email: vicson47@ gmail.com
Author: VictVames

The party got hotter, I started feeling uncomfortable when I thought about home and Mirabel. I started adjusting but the girls wouldn’t stop whining in front of me. The one in front of me did even more by pressing herself on me. She even whispered in my ear asking me if I would want to stay on the dancefloor all night long or get a room with her now (showing me a pack of condom) Chai! tempted to touch!!
I didn’t know what to tell her, but seriously, a part of me was giving in and the other part wants me to go home.
Girl: Come on, lets go am burning up (pulling my hand to follow her)
Skyly: Vickie V i dey see your hand oh… tha baddest nigga!
Lechessy: Vickie no dull o…
Those were voices of my home boys motivating me to go on with her
Skyly: Vickie V i carry extra if u need ‘am (Extra i.e Condom)
Me: No need, loaded tinz
Lechessy: Na so! (Laughing and dancing even harder)
I followed her with no intention of having s-x with her but in order not to fall my hands among my friends as i’m not that strong in my christian spirit yet, but i’m trying. I had handshakes with some of my guys i met on my way with her.
Shapiro: The rugged vames!
Me: Shapiro!
Shapiro: Unto which angle na? (Like where am i taking her to)
Me: Na away o… (She’s the one taking me out)
Shapiro: Abi? fine bwoy, me just arrive 360 na (Just came back s-x-satisfied)
Me: No be lie,,, I no see wetin fit kill u again
Shapiro: Na lie, i go repent after the thing kill u
Me: Dey deceive yourself na, guy later jare
Shapiro: Oya na, nothing do u
I left him and followed the girl to a dark corner, when walking I saw a girl and a guy having s-x against a wall, I even saw more set of people banging their selves. My phone started ringing, It was Nancy.
Me: Hello
Nancy: Senior bro where are u nau? Why didn’t u pick Mirabel’s calls?? She’s so worried bro!
Me: Really? Oh my god, I didn’t hear the call
Nancy: Where are u anyway?
Me: I’m I’m,,, I’m,,,I’m around, I’m coming in now
Nancy: Around? around where with that sound i’m hearing in the background? are u at that game house or what?
Me: Hey! I’ve warned u about jumping into conclusions of something u don’t know,,, tell Mirabel I’m coming.
*I hanged up*
I looked at the girl, she has already undressed herself waiting for me. Chai! tempted to touch. My mind couldn’t resist seeing a naked girl standing in front of me waiting for me to,,to,,, to… Chai! I felt like doing a quickie,,, I couldn’t take it no more, I rushed to pounce on her. Unfortunately but thankfully my phone rang again. I took the phone from my pocket not to pick the call, but to ignore it and put the phone on silent but the caller was my mother!
Me: Hello ma
Momma: Yes where are u?
Me: I went to buy something ma, its a surprise for Mirabel, please don’t tell her.
Momma: By this time?
Me: She told me that she’d be leaving tomorrow and I wasn’t aware of it before. So… I thought of getting her something fast.
Momma: Well, She’s listening to our conversation, its on loud speaker, because we’re worried.
Me: Oh… I’m on my way
Momma: Okay and be quick
*Hangs up*
Girl: Come on babyy, you’re keeping me waiting, just off your phone
‘Devil is a liar’ I said inner my mind.
Me: I have to go, something very important came up
Girl: what?! U want to leave me like this? are U for real?
Me: I’m sorry
Girl: Like seriously?
Me: It’s very important
Girl: Baby okay I understand U, but please even small, just once will do. Please don’t leave me like this,,, I need U inside me baby (trying to romance me and pulling my shirt)
Me: I will be back soon (making her to let go of me)
If I don’t go now, she will surely get me. I hurriedly left her and headed home.
Girl: Hey?! Hey?! Your Papa! Idiot fowl wey no sabi anything, mumu… msteeew
That was the insults she rained on me when i left her. So what do I get Mirabel now? and I don’t have enough money with me. Walking home, thinking hard on the kind of excuse i’m going to tell them. And even though i have the money now, what am i going to get her?
I immediately brought out my phone and placed a call on Promise… I told her everything after picking up, excluding the girl’s part.
Promise: Hhmmm….
Me: So what do u think i can get her?
Promise: Seriously i dunno o… me and her haven’t discussed about her past relationships to know the kind of material things she might want from him. But base on what we’ve discussed about u, I think she only needs your 100% love with care, understanding and honesty.
Me: So u girls do talk about me?
Promise: Before nko? dey there na,,,, abegi, so i think gifts from u will be extra things she’d be needing from u
Me: But what kind of gifts?
Promise: That’s what I don’t know biko, my life and her life no rhyme oh… all i know is that, wealthy girls like Mirabel only need your Love
Me: Alright, thanks for your help
Promise: You’re welcome
Me: Did u even help me? (teasingly)
Promise: (Laughs) What else do u want me to say?
Me: Like, I wish i was helpful
Promise: Bye bye jare!
Me: You’re sending me away?
Promise: Not like that na,,, hia, u were teasing me nau,,, and i don’t want u to make me blush
Me: Why?
Promise: Only my boyfriend is allowed to do that
Me: U have a boyfriend now?
Promise: Nope, just saying…
I don’t like where the conversation is heading to, so i twist it to escape from it
Me: Okay o,,, got to go and face my problem now,,, talk to u later
Promise: More like a week from now
Me: What?
Promise: Didn’t say anything,,,, byeee
**Hangs up**
The reason why i’m so worried to get Mirabel something is because i already told them about it and she’ll be expecting it.
One thing we should all know is that, once u have the spirit and resources of giving, u should give with good intentions. It doesn’t matter if the person is rich and able to provide everything for him or her self. U don’t always give to the needy, U give to the rich as well, especially to your close ones. If your father is rich and working, U can still buy him Biro or even recharge card and he’ll surely appreciate the kind gesture. U don’t need to have all the money u want before giving to your parents, give them from the little u earn for they’ll understand your income and appreciate your giving gesture for there’s blessing for giving.
To Be Continued….

>>


A Guy was called for an interview by Chevron based on his performance while working for Shell.
The Interviewer
Akpos asked; What is your current pay at Shell and what are you looking at with Chevron?

The Guy said; 9 Million Naira per annum plus medical and other benefits. Considering the position here in Chevron, I'd be looking at 20-22 Million Naira per annum, a status car, overseas vacation and medicals.

Akpos said; Today is your lucky day! The position comes with 35 Million Naira per annum salary, 2014 Range Rover Sport as official car, Mercedes Benz S65 AMG as status car, overseas medical treatment. A fully furnished house in Lekki, health insurance for your wife and children, 2 houses to be built for you in any town of your choice and in your village, annual overseas vacation for you and your family fully-paid first class, 2 Million Naira wardrobe allowance per annum, cook, steward and 2 drivers, country club membership, and you are entitled to keep all that the company gives you if you put in just 3 years of service. The Guy in bewildered excitement exclaimed; Haaaa! Sir, you must be joking.

Akpos said; Of course I am joking. Were you not the one that started it?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-15 07:36:19

139 Views




Time: you know my master daughter love you
Desmond: and your master son like you
Time: that is not true
Desmond: is the fact
Time: if it were so;but you know Joy;like you right from the first day she saw you and asked who is the girl with you
Desmond: and i said my sister
Time: that was why she accepted you and her
Desmond: what if i have told her she is not my sister?what would she had done
Time: abandon you there but tell me the truth you love .....
Stephanie: who is my best friend in love with?
Time: best friend?
Stephanie: yes best friend
Time: you two are not siblings?
Desmond: that is not what she mean
Stephanie: what i meant is that he is my best friend;he is the only brother i have and unlike my other two siblings;he is the only one i can confide on that is why he is my best friend. right Desmond(she touch his chin)
Desmond: yes
Time: oh!you two must be headache in your house
Stephanie: yes we are;that is why they enjoy our company but that is by the way. who is my brother in love with?
Desmond: i know you like this kind of story
Stephanie: why not?my brother haven't really fallen in love
Time: what?

Stephanie: yes;if it is you;you are very fortunate i know it from the onset
Time: is not me;is Joy
Stephanie: oh!is it true(she sigh)
Desmond: no;i don't really like her because she is not my type
Stephanie: better;she doesn't suit you
Time: what kind of girl do you want for a wife?

Desmond: she should be simple;intelligent;humble;someone that makes me happy;someone that is beautiful but doesn't know that she is;someone that is so natural and selfless;someone;i can't bear to live apart even if it was just a minute
Stephanie: whoa!my brother is really looking for a perfect girl;i wish you luck brother. i got to go the prince is waiting for me. see you later Time(she peck him)bye
Time: crazy girl;you two would be a perfect couple(he cough) are you alright;tell me the girl you are describing is her;right?
Desmond: no;why would i want to get married to my sister?

Time: she is not your sister;you don't have to lie to me anymore;i over heard you two talking. she is your friend
Desmond: i am sorry but yes;yes she is the one i was describing and she is the only woman i love
Time: i know;i wish you luck
Desmond: she doesn't know but i tell you immediately we get back to town tomorrow i will tell her
Time: i hope she agree
Desmond: and pray for me also
Time: i will and i will miss you
Desmond: i will miss you too. come here(he hug her)
Time: thank you for your love
Desmond: thank you too;i can't wait to tell her;we are leaving
Time: she will be very happy
Desmond: me too;come lets join the others for the preparation


Tom: i have been waiting for you
Stephanie: i am sorry;i kept you waiting
Tom: no problem;come on accompany me to the nearby village
Stephanie: why?
Tom: is because you are leaving
Stephanie: to where?
Tom: you mean you don't know?
Stephanie: know what?
Tom: that me is leaving
Stephanie: you are so funny;i told you to learn how to address people
Tom: is not my fault
Stephanie: i understand;come on
Tom: you right(they walk into the bush)
Stephanie: why is the path way fill with bush?
Tom: don't worry
Stephanie: i am getting scared;lets just go home
Tom: will you shut up
Stephanie: will you stop yelling at me?i said i want t go home. are you crazy?
Tom: i am not;i have heard enough of your nonsense. i will take my pound of fresh
Stephanie: you are not serious
Tom: i am(he pushed her to the floor)
Stephanie: let me go;i said let me go(she cry)not again
Desmond: Stephie;Stephie where are you?
Stephanie: Tom;please let me go;i beg you let me go
Tom: so that you can leave
Stephanie: i am not going anywhere. i thought you love me?please let me go
Tom: never(Desmond hit him on the head)
Stephanie: Desmond;who told you i am here?
Desmond: someone told Time;that he saw the prince taking you to this evil forest that is where he normally rape girls
Stephanie: what?
Desmond: we have to get out of here right now

Stephanie: but are we not going to say a proper good bye
Desmond: i have already done that;we have to leave this place now because it is no longer save for us
Stephanie: alright(they run)i am tired
Desmond: don't worry;we will rest here;first thing tomorrow we will board a ship that is going to take us to where we can get a bus that is going to take us to where we can get a car to the city
Stephanie: thank you very much(she cry)

Desmond: why are you crying?
Stephanie: why is it that no one love me genuinely;they all just want to rape
Desmond: but that is not true
Stephanie: it is
Desmond: is all lies;i love you
Stephanie: what?
Desmond: i do;i really do love you
Stephanie: i know you love me as a sister and i know you like to pranks just tell me the truth. you are joking right?
Desmond: i am not;is the truth;i have always love you even before we went for the competition those times you weren't talking to me and you started dating Michael;i was happy that you two breakup but I didn't meant that to happen. i was hoping that you tell me some day that you are in love with me but it never dud happen because you love my cousin
Stephanie: you joke;you fooled me;i thought you were just doing all these things for me for real because you are concern but i don't know you it is out of your own selfish interest. i hate you

Desmond: i am sorry;i couldn't tell myself to stop loving you
Stephanie: don't tell me that again
Desmond: i am sorry(he try to touch her) forgive me
Stephanie: i don't love you and please don't touch me
Desmond: forgive me(tears roll his eyes) come on let's go;i promise i wont tell you i love you again
Stephanie: fine;don't even try to take advantage of me (they travelled home until they get to town she said nothing to him)thank God!i am home at last
Desmond: i will just make a call
Stephanie: call my mom also
Desmond: alright(he left and return)i have called them
Stephanie: oh!i cant wait to see my mom

Desmond: are we still going to be friends even after all that happen between us?
Stephanie: we can never be friends(the driver arrive)just go leave me alone
Driver: sir;so you are alive(he hug him)
Stephanie: yes;he is alive,you can now leave (tears fall his eyes)
Desmond: i will wait till your mom come
Stephanie: just leave i can wait myself(she pushed him)
Desmond: do you disperse me that much?that you even have to push me away (she heard a gun shot)
Stephanie: Jesus(she hold Desmond)please;don't leave me
Desmond: is okay;i wont even if you don't want me to stand close to you
Stephanie: i am sorry
Driver: shall we go sir?
Desmond: lets wait for her mom
Driver: alright sir(silent continue)are you alright sir?
Desmond: yes;i an fine;i am just so happy that i could see you again and even my family. how are they
Driver: they are fine(rain falls)come on;lets look for a shade
Stephanie: Desmond
Desmond: yes
Stephanie: are you scared of me?
Desmond: why should i?
Stephanie: is because i yelled at you
Desmond: don't be ridiculous. no matter what happen i will always love you. i am sorry;i didn't mean to
Stephanie: i understand;when you love someone;you treat them kindly. the fact that you love me is enough to keep me going. is just that i am scared
Desmond: scared of what?my mother?
Stephanie: not that;scared of letting you go if you stop loving me and that you mean hurt me
Desmond: i will never hurt you
Stephanie: really?

Desmond: of cause i promise
Stephanie: i love you too

Desmond: thank you for making me happy
Stephanie: just that?wont you kiss me?that is what lovers do
Desmond: don't be a spoil brat;if your mom catches you;she will kill you
Stephanie: but she is not here;come on;go on
Desmond: alright;fine;i love you(he pull her face to his)
Monalisa: what?
Stephanie: mother







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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GIRL: baby ever since you slept with me you don't call me, text me, flash me or even reply my texts return my calls, whats the problem dear?
BOY: nothing o, just that have u ever seen a president still campaigning after winning elections.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-21 07:44:25

785 Views




In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet.

~ Albert SchweitzerRelated

They all dropped their weapons and put
their hands
on their head as the police had instructed.
It was a
few of them left.
There were bodies scattered all over the
place as
the police men numbering up to 20,,fully
armed,,rushed into the bar and began to
round the
ones who had survived up. 10 other
policemen
went to the club to rescue the hostages
and arrest
any of the cultists they could find. They met
obaz
at the front. He was standing and placed
his hands
on his head. He didn’t look afraid neither
did he
feel remorseful. He was just smiling like
someone
who had accomplished a very tasking
mission.
Two police men put him on handcuffs and
took
away his weapon while the others went
inside and
arrested his other wing man,,lekinz.
At the bar,,jack was seen hiding behind his
table
the police had tried to pull him out but it
was a
futile effort as jack’s body was lifeless on
the floor.
He was dead.
Alberto had always been ready for jack. He
knew
meeting jack in a fight will definitely not
end really
well especially as jack was a sharp shooter.
So he
was prepared to take him down if
eventually jack
was able to kill him. Therefore,,he laced his
daggers with a very deadly poison he got
from a
very trusted herbalist in the north. The
poison
works really fast once it is mixed with the
blood of
the person the knife hits it starts to go
straight to
the heart and in the next 5-10 minutes the
person
will lose his life.
Apparently,,the police had got there very
late so
jack was not able to survive the hit.
The other remaining wolves at the bar were
rounded up and handcuffed. And they were
all
moved to the big police van outside the
gate where
obaz and his wingman were already sitting.
By this time the paramedics had arrived to
attend
to injured hostages and take away the dead
bodies.
To Be Continued…

>> Part 9 -

Height of “WhatsApp”ing:
You know why Teachers mark only one tick on our

answers in the answer sheet … ???Related

CRIME=>WRITE UP BY DINDY
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission,thank you for reading this write up...
Is it a crime to steal from or kill someone who kills people?.
Is it a crime to steal from people who steals from poor people?.
Is it bad to break and destroy someone's home,family,life and property, who caused you tears in so many ways?.
Is it a crime to love someone who is responsible for all the bad things you have faced or you are facing?.
Is it a crime to show mercy to someone who killed your loved ones?.
Is it a crime to lie against someone who lied against you and caused you unimaginable pain?.
Is it a crime to steal just to help your family or to put yourself through school or to get enough money to help people or to be a better person in future?.
Is it a crime to kill people for money?.
Is it a crime to destroy a city just to archive your aim?.
Is it a crime to abort a baby you don't what to come to existence?.
Is it a crime to pray against your enemy?.
Is it a crime to express your feelings and emotions?.
Is it a crime to show,tell and teach people what you believe in?.
Is it a crime to fight for power?.
Is it a crime to love money?.
Is it a crime to speak out?.
Is it a crime to run away or face your problems?.
Is it a crime to give birth to a girl or a boy?.
Is it a crime to have twin or triplet.....ect?.
Is it a crime to come to this world in a deformed way?.
Is it a crime to sing a Christian or muslim or worldly song?.
Is it a crime to be HIV/AIDS positive?.
Is it a crime to be educated?.
Is it a crime to ask for things?.
Is it a crime for you to prosper?.
Is it a crime to understand things so easily than others?.
Is it a crime to be intelligent or taller than people of your age?.
Is it a crime to be fat?.
Is it a crime to be slim?.
Is it a crime to be trusted by everyone?.
Is it a crime not to have the ability of speech?.
Is it a crime to be ugly or beautiful?.
Is it a crime not to trust anyone?.
Is it a crime to hate beggars?.
Is it a crime to feel irritated seeing disabled people?.
Is it a crime to be an slowpoke?.
Is it a crime to be an epileptic patient?.
Is it a crime to marry someone who you love?.
Is it a crime to believe and follow your dreams?.
Is it a crime to accept or decline a given situation you were or are put under?.
IS IT A CRIME TO JUST BE YOU AND DO WHAT YOU WANT?.
What is crime really?
Well crime is what you believe it is....if you believe that to steal is not a crime then it is not a crime, but the day you are caught then you will see that stealing is a crime punishable by death or imprisonment....
Crime could be anything but it all depends on the individual's point view,some people see gay and lesbianism as a normal thing,while myself and so many other people see it as a crime punishable by 14years in jail or death in other countries.
Take this last words from me as I close up.
"THE REAL CRIME IS NOT TO SERVE GOD ALL YOUR LIFE AND YOU DIE WITHOUT ACCOMPLISHING WHAT YOU CAME TO DO ON EARTH,TRY YOUR BEST NOT TO BE SUCH CRIMINAL. ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS NEVER REGRET YOUR GOOD DEEDS".
MY NAME IS NNAMDI AKA DINDY AND I WROTE THIS WRITE UP.LEARN FROM WHAT YOU READ NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND.THANKS FOR READING.................WRITE UP BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI.........whatsapp number:07087750433.... email@:OSSYNNAMDI @ gmail.com or OSSYNNAMDI @outlook.com facebook name:OSSY Andy Nnamdi.......Skype: 07087750433 or OSSYNNAMDI @outlook.com..................Twitter:@nnamdiossy.







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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An empire can be ruled by a king but can't
be built by the power of a king alone.
He needs the moral and spiritual support of
his Queen during the building process.
When everything is set, the wise Queen
let's him rule and reign supreme. He then
becomes the shield, protector and security
of their efforts.
Our women are our life wires, let's
appreciate and love them daily.
#showyourwomansomelovetoday #B-goF #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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MY DARK PAST(CHAP.5)=>STORY BY NELLY
Please do not share without talking to me or her personally asking for permission, thank you for reading this story brought to you by Nelly aka Nnenna.
Days passed by and Jacob didn't make any attempts anymore so my mind was clear and I forgot about it all.
One cool afternoon we all decided to stroll, Glory was back home and was very healthy and I was glad.
Me, my little bro (Gad) and cousins(Jacob and glory) went strolling around the area, it was fun talking, pointing with me and Glory making our steps (laughs...winx).
Suddenly, Jacob stopped like someone that was being frozen, so we asked him what the problem was and he said he left something at home and would like to get back home to get it but someone should escort him.
We(Glory and I) told my little bro(Gad) to follow him but he(Jacob) said no that he prefers me, I was like "oh so I'll have to go back home again when I've already gone far.. Shit! ".
I followed him and went back home, he went straight to our stairs so I thought he wanted to go and park his clothes from upstairs.
While climbing the stairs he stopped and I asked him to move on but he Said nothing and held me, I started shaking. Although he was a slim tall guy with a bony structure you won't believe he had so much strength to conquer me.
He carried me on his arms then pushed my back on the wall, I felt trapped I couldn't escape --Oh!, I felt stupid I wished I just died that moment-- I started hitting him but it felt like he didn't feel anything, I felt so helpless and I started cursing Him.
When he let go I ran to our room and locked the door, he came and started knocking; he wanted me to clean up so that we could go back to stroll but I told him to leave me alone I was no longer in the mood and he should just go without me.
After he left I started thinking of reporting him to everyone but I remembered what I got when I reported the first issue and the idea died right that moment.
I felt a little relieved when their holiday was over, they left back to their home for good and I was glad too when I realized that I would soon be heading for school. I loved being with friends than family, my friends seemed to know, understand and trust me more....to be continue............... chap.6 coming up soon so watch out.
THIS IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY NNANNA NNENNA A.K.A NOINOI JUST CALL ME NELLY
FACEBOOK USERNAME:NELLY NALLY
WHATSAPP NO;+22961804913


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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I and mrs folake was able to know
each othe better.upon our condition
we gisted as if we had known each
other for years.she also told me that
she has two kids.a boy 5years old
and a girl 3years old respectively.
30 minutes later…i saw a figure
aproaching us.i looked up and
behold it was Jc and three other
guys coming.immediately i started
shaking and figeting.i wish the
ground should open and swallo
me.he was looking mean as ever.no
smiling.folake wasn’t exceptional.she
was also panicing.i looked around
whether i could see seyi among
them.but she wasn’t with them.
Mr fresh my guy.the runaway
soldier.chai!longest time.how are
you feeling this cool morning?hope
you are enjoying the new
environment with your new
partner.hmmm.good to see you once
again…..that was the voice of no
other person but Jc.he came closer
to me and held my head in his
palm…poor you..he said.
ME.*panting*Jc what do you
want.were is charity and my
family?..remember we have a deal.
JC.easy bro.we still have a long way
to go.your charity is fine were ever
she is.like wise your family.so
relaxe.coz you won’t see them
again.okay.*smiled*
ME.jc.you are a monster.a devil.a
b-----d.you will regret this.i promise
you.(even though i have no hope
again)…
After saying those words to him.the
next thing i head on my cheek
was.kpoaa kpoaa kpoaa kpoaa
kpozaa..five heavy loud slap landed
on my two cheek..jesus.folake
shouted from the other edge of the
cage.the sound of the slap could
make a pregnant woman to have a
miscariage.only the sound o…after
gotten the slap.my eyes started
showing me many strong
things.every were became dark and
bloody to me.i instantly forgot my
name and my mission here.the
forest became like a desert to me.i
couldn’t see any tree again.i don’t
know whether to cry or laugh.i don’t
know when i started smiling. coz the
slap disfigured my brain.
Jc went ahead and gave me another
loaded blow on my jaw.the blow
brought me to my normal self again.i
became normal instantly but i was
still hearing some funny sound
inside my ear…jc then spoke.
JC.next time don’t ever in your life
call me names again.between you
and i.who is a monster.eeeh tell
me.aren’t you the one that brought
this upon your self.tell me why did
you runaway from your duty.you
wanted to eat with the devil with a
short spoon.i warned you earlier.but
you decided to play deadly game
with me.i have been in this game
before you.i’m a master.so you are
just a notice.runing away from us is
just a waste of time.at the end see
were it landed you.i’m sorry my
friend or my ex-friend.today is going
to be your last day on this earth.
As for you.(pointing at folake with
the gun.she was busy shaking.hot
sweat formed all over her
body.)tomorrow is gonna be your
last day.if your billionare husband
can’t meet up with our demand.i
have warned him not to involve the
corps.so if he loves you and want to
see you again.he better do
something fast.he have only 30
hours left.
Turn and faced me.i couldn’t help
but spite on his face..
Immediately his face turn to a real
monster.you just spite at me?.before
i could answer him…he pulled out
his pistol.krakraa.pooo..he release a
shot on my left arm..i shout and
shouted in pain.blood was oozing
out like a water tap..i cried bitterly.i
called for death but death was
faraway from me..
You won’t to prove hard man
abi.b-----d.he kicked me twice at my
JMAN under my leg.the pain became
x10 to me.i couldn’t cry again.i was
wishing he should kill me once and
for all.than bearing this pain..folake
was criying. begging them to spare
me.my hands was still tying with
rope.some minutes later.i was able
to open my mouth and said.
ME.jc.please before you kill me.can i
make a request?.(i said
panting.blood had already covered
my body.)
JC.(with an evil smile)go ahead and
make your last request mr fresh.
ME.please and please.i want to see
charity and my family for the last
time.(fighting to catch a breath)
JC.sure.you request is granted.you
will see them.and atleast say your
last goodbye to them.
He commanded two of his boys to
go and bring them were ever they
keep them…please dube don’t
die.you will make it please..folake
said to me.*crying*
some minutes later.the boys came
back alone without any of them.
WHERE ARE THEY?jc asked the boys.
BOY1.boss. we couldn’t find them.
JC.what.how do you mean by you
couldn’t find them.is that a joke or
what.
BOY2.is not a joke boss.we got were
we kept them.but the cage was wide
open.we searched and searched.but
we couldn’t find any of them.
JC.(he rose like an angry lion)God.i
can’t believe my ear.you guys are
fool.how can you boys be so
stupid.were is Seyi?.
BOY1.she is no were to be found
too.
JC.eeeeh.lets go.call the other guys
we are going after them..he
commanded the boys.
BOY2.what about him.(pointing at
me).
JB.we will finish him later.
With full speed.they left.
TBC.

>>

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.

~ Dalai LamaRelated

War makes thieves and peace hangs them.

~ George HerbertRelated

Two Guys were sitting at a club.
One was ugly
and the other one was handsome.
i walk straight to the ugly guy.
Me: Hello!
Ugly guy: Hi!!
Me: Wanna dance?
Ugly Guy: Yes (excited)
Me: OK, Go and dance, I wanna talk to
your friend!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-01-10 18:41:35

226 Views




Akpos ;teacher I have a question
teacher ;yes akpos u can ask
akpos ;how can u put an elephat in a fridge?
teacher ;mmmm i dnt know
akpos ;thats easy,open the fridge and put the elephant then close...hav another quiz..how can u put a crocodile in a fridge?
teacher ;mmm i dnt know
akpos ;thats easy,open the fridge take out the elephant put the crocodile then close the fridge...another quiz...if u are to cross a dangerous how can u do it?
teacher ;i dnt knw
akpos ;easy,jump into water and swim bcoz crocodile is in the fridge...another quiz...lion calls all the animals for a meating,which animal was not present?
teacher ;mmmm lion
akpos ;no,it is crocodile bcoz it is in the fridge
teacher ;i suspend you for asking me questions

one word for akpos....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-31 15:26:11

825 Views




Akpos the Mortician noticed that Mr. Okpambe has the largest penis he has ever seen while examining the body.

"I'm
sorry, Mr. Okpambe," says Akpos, "But I can't send you to be
cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved
for posterity."

The Akpos removes the penis, places it in a
jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he decides to
show it to his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't
believe," Akpos says, removing the jar from his briefcase.

"Oh my God!" she screams, "Okpambe is dead!"

Akpos fainted.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-08 07:37:50

850 Views




Two blondes are walking down the street. One blonde finds a little mirror, looks in it, again and again. Puzzled, she says to her friend, “I just know I`ve seen this face before!”

“Give it to me”, says the other blonde.

She looks in the mirror and says, “Of course, you silly! It`s me!!”Related

My alarm went of, i woke up feeling cool, i
prayed to God, did some push-ups, brushed my
teeth, bath, prepared myself for school. I
checked my phone, saw like 4 messages and 3
missed. The callers was my mum and my
uncle… I was about to leave it for later but, Oh!
My Uncle!! I swiftly checked my inbox
1 from mtn, 2 from 4900,
1 from firstbank yes!! i screamed out
as i saw what was credited in my account, what
do u expect from an engineer uncle, i wont tell u
guys the amount*Tongues out*Lol.
??????
I walked in, few people in the class ‘coz i came
early (serious student dat kin tin). I went
through my notes ‘coz i don’t want to forget
what i what taught, a lecturer may decide to
give test anytime, failing exams not me by His
Grace. One by one, two by three people arrives
seated gisting, waiting for the lecturer.
Then class suddenly calmed, i raised my head to
see the lecturer but it wasn’t him. You guessed
right, its her, Mirabel. All eyes was on her as she
gracefully walked in to the class.What an
arrogant fellowin my mind. Shortly, the
Accounting lecturer walked in and immediately
ordered for the entrance door to be closed.
He wrote a new topic on the board saying we’d
discuss about it today.
He started asking questions about a
bout what we discussed on our previous lecture.
Lecturer: On our previous meeting, we discussed
Cost, the types, and also Overhead
Apportionment. Let’s refresh our memory a little.
Class what is Cost and its types? Now close
your notes and just put up your hand.
Promise stood up and answered it immediately.
Lecturer: Good. What is Overheard
Apportionment?
*Silence
Lecturer: Didn’t we discussed it?
Class: We did
Lecturer: Then what’s happening?
*Silence
Lecturer: I would give you your test /20 -5marks
this moment
*Murmuring
Lecturer: Shut up!! I hate dull class
That kind of statement always burst my brain or
maybe most students. I was about to stand up
before i heard an answering voice, it was
Mirabel. (This will be good, now i’m ready)
Mirabel: Overhead Apportionment is the
procedure whereby indirect cost are split fairly
between cost centres.
Lecturer: The first stage of Overhead
Apportionment? (referring to Mirabel).
Mirabel: *Silent
Lecturer: Anybody else?
I stood up to answer for the first time. Chai! big
boy feeling nervous
Me: Sir, Overhead Apportionment involves the
sharing out of common cost in an equitable way
or proportion between the production and
service department according to benefits they
received. And the first stage of Overhead
Apportionment is to identify all overhead cost as
Production department, Administrative, Selling
and Distribution Overhead.
Lecturer: Very good! What’s ur name
Me: Victor Sir
Lecturer: 5marks for You, give me your
admission number.
I gave him, which he wrote down.
I could see how eyes were facing my direction, it
made me feel uncomfortable, i just controlled
myself till the end of the lecture.
Girl 1: Nice try dude, u saved us
Girl 2: Nna na u try pass
Girl 3: *smiles*
Well Well Well… i think i just earn myself a spot
in the department.
I called my uncle to tell him i saw his missed
call and message then thanked him, i also called
my mum, we talked *********.
Promise: Mr. Man
Me: Young lady
Promise: I’m a lady jhoor
Me: Says who?
Promise: My physique
Me: Hhmmm igbo girl(I guess she wants me to
check her out, right? Yea)
Promise: What?
Me: Nothing abeg, i’m really hungry
Promise: Lets go out na
Me: After you
Promise: Hhmmm
We got to an eatery, fed the warms in our
stomach then walked back to class not after
sighting that girl (Mirabel). Another lecturer
came in to perform his duty. During his lectures,
he asked questions which answering became a
competition between Mirabel and I with
contributions from Promise and others. The
competition in the class impressed the lecturers
alot, they acknowledged our department as an
Intelligent department.
We the competitors Mirabel and I are yet to
discover our limits. I’m the best in every course
subject but maths, Hhmmm maths… just good in
it with the help of Promise who was better. My
limit was maths, i need to know her own limit.
What do you think guys?

To Be Continued.... #B-goF

>> Part 5 -

Kiss Qadar Masoom Sa Lehja Tha Un Ka FARAZ’;

Dheere Sey Jaan Keh Kar Humein Bejaan Kar Gaya!Related

the idiot man [Read it]


There were five people aboard an
airplane having engine trouble getting
ready to crash, however, there were
only four parachutes. Everyone
wondered what should be done to
determine who should get the parachutes. One person said that he
was the smartest thing that hit the face
of the Earth, and that he was too smart
to die. So, he took one of the
parachutes and jumped out of the
aircraft. The second person said that she was too important to die, she had
children and a family to take care of,
and they depended on her to care for
them. So, she took one of the
parachutes and jumped out of the
aircraft. The third person said that he was too important to die because his
family depended on him for survival.
He was the head of household and the
sole bread winner. So, he took one of
the parachutes and jumped out of the
aircraft. Finally, there were only two people left, and one parachute. One
person was a 12 year old boy, and the
other was a 65 year old man. The old
man said, "Well son, I have lived a
good life, and you are too young to
die, you have a long life ahead of you. So, you take the last parachute. The
boy asked, "Why, Sir?" The old man
said, "Well, there is only one parachute
left." The little lad said, "Sir there are
really two parachutes left." The old
gentlemen asked, excitedly, "Yeah? How?" "Well," replied the boy, "you
know that guy who thought he was
the smartest and greatest thing that hit
the face of the Earth? He grabbed my
backpack."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-09 18:54:29

452 Views




As we got up to leave, i passionately pleaded to the detective to help me out.

“seriously i have no hand in my husband’s death. You have to help me. You have to do something” I pleaded desperately.

“as long as you are innocent, you have no problem with me. I’m a good cop. I promise to get to the bottom of this case” The middle aged officer promised while my brother smiled with relief.

“now you are talking officer. Don’t let them intimidate or stop you from doing the right thing” he advised as they shook hands.

On our way out of the force headquarters, my brother held me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear.

“you have to be strong my dear. Everything happens for a purpose. Please you have to be strong when facing our parents , they are very devastated” he begged quietly while more tears fell from my eyes. I really didn’t know how to face my old parents, especially mum who braved her sickness to witness my wedding ceremony.
Nevertheless, we first headed to Damian’s house after leaving the police headquarters in order to pick up my things, but on getting to the house, we were stopped by four policemen who told us that they had orders not to allow anyone pick up even a pin from the house.

“madam this place is now a crime scene. You can come back tomorrow to pick your things. As for now we have orders not to allow anybody pick up anything from the house” one of the officers said, leaving me speechless.

“i think it’s a good development. A piece of evidence might still by lying around who knows. The police are really correct with this decision” My brother’s lawyer said in agreement. And so we had no choice than to turn back and head to my brother’s house where every member of my family was waiting for me. It really was such a painful scene as every one of them cried on sighting me, especially my poor mother who sobbed uncontrollably.

“this marriage was just a huge mistake. oh no” she cried painfully.

However another big development occurred at exactly 5pm when detective Jeremiah showed up once again with a team of policemen and a white man who looked like a lawyer to arrest me.

“i’m sorry, the order came from the I.G’s office. It has nothing to do with me” he said as a handcuff was thrown round my wrists, putting my entire family into another wave of shock.
My brother as usual tried to defend me by creating a scene but had to shut up when the white lawyer threatened to arrest him as an accomplice in the murder charge I was facing.

“don’t worry, I will protect you” the detective whispered to my ear as he led me away.

This time, there wasn’t anything to save me from cooling off in a police cell.



>> Part 5 -

I got fucked by a priest 15 years ago…
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.
.
He said, “You may now kiss the bride”!Related

When i was a kid my opinion was “Jerry is innocent and tom is cruel” but as i grew up i realised that “Tom is innocent and Jerry is a bastard” ????Related

husband and wife agreed that whenever they want to have sex they will call it ' phone call' so that the children won't understand. one day dad sand son to tell mum, that he went's to make a phone call mum, replies tell dad that network is busy to day; dad replies tell mum that the call is urgent. if the network is busy am going to a public phone booth: mum replies tell him that if he date goes to public phone booth, I Will open a business central and all phone calls will be free.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-05 21:44:36

249 Views




A man comes home from a hard day of work only to find his wife laying infront of the fire place with her legs wide open. He asked, "Honey what are you doing?" She replied, "I'm heating up your dinner."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-07 08:09:13

414 Views




*****
after few minutes, our maths teacher mrs Ajumobi entered our class
(someone hit the desk,while we all stood up)
evrybody : Good morning ma!!
Mrs ajumobi : Good morning class ,you can sit down
( we all sat down)
hw was ur holiday
everybody : it was fine ma ( we all chorused)
she told us that she was only going to give us the term's scheme of work being the first week of resumption. after writing the scheme of work ,she noticed the new student in class
Mrs ajumobi : hey you ( pointing to the new girl) I guess u are the new student
new girl she stood up) yes ma
Mrs ajumobi : come here and Introduce yourself to class
new girl : ( she came out in front of the class) my name is Cyndy from IMO state
Mrs ajumobi : good,you are welcome to this our great citadel of learning Grace college..
Cyndy : thank you ma
Mrs ajumobi : my advice to you is to be serious with ur studies and most importantly don't let any boy decieve you o...flee from dem o( pointing to the class )
** most of the boys started murmuring**
Mrs ajumobi : shut up !!( the class became silent) Cyndy ,you can go and sit down...so who can tell me which topic we did last term?
few of my class mates raised dia hands up expecting to be called...she noticed I wasn't paying attention
"kunle" she shouted while pointing towards her direction for like 3 times
** I loss interest in d class discussion since she was called for the introduction part ,I was deeply in thought of how to make her pay back for the humiliation ...a tap from by sit mate isaac was what brought me back from my world of thought... when I woke up to reality I noticed all eyes were on me including angry face of Mrs ajumobi ,,then I knew I was in trouble ...
' ha omo yi ti koba mi '(ha dis gal don implicate me) I said almost aloud
" Kunle " she shouted
I stood up immediately looking like a zombie
" what did I say last "she asked
' l-a-s-t ' I stammered
the class burst into laughter including the cyndy
**I gave her a cold stare ,wetin do dis one as she dey open teeth **
" shut up !!!!! "she barked
the class became silence at once
" go there and pick pin" she ordered ( pick pin was a kind of hard punishment)
then I knew I was in for marathon race ....' chai, dem don get me o' I thought '
I did the punishment throughout the first period , when she was about leaving the class , she look at me with pity and told me to follow her to the staff room. this her statement got me scared coz I thought I was going to b flogged but fortunately for me when we got there she sat down and face me
Mrs Ajumobi : Kunle ,what were u thinking in class?
kunle : (felt relieved) I was thinking about my text book I forgot at home
I quickly cook up a story sharpaly( wu wan chop cane)
Mrs ajumobi : are u sure ( giving me a doubting face)
me : yes ma
Mrs ajumobi : you know you are one of my favorite student,so if something bothers you ..feel free to share it With me
me : thank u ma
Mrs ajumobi: u can go back to ur class
'okay' I replied and went back to my class




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Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.Related

Pastor Akpos [Read it]


Akpos, pastor, goes to a clinic to buy a pack of condoms.
The attendant tells him to wait and enters the inner room to get it.
As the pastor Akpos waited for his condoms, one of his members comes to buy drugs and greets him, “Pastor, good evening.”
“Good evening Brother Michael. How are you?” the Pastor Akpos replies.
As they were exchanging pleasantries, the attendant comes back with the pack of condoms and gives it to Akpos.
The member opens his eyes in shock and shouts, “Pastor!!!”
Embarrassed, Pastor Akpos shouts, “JESUS CHRIST!!! WHAT IS THIS I said COMBATRINE!!
Akpos, pastor, goes to a clinic to buy a pack of condoms.

The attendant tells him to wait and enters the inner room to get it.

As the pastor Akpos waited for his condoms, one of his members comes to buy drugs and greets him, “Pastor, good evening.”

“Good evening Brother Michael. How are you?” the Pastor Akpos replies.

As they were exchanging pleasantries, the attendant comes back with the pack of condoms and gives it to Akpos.

The member opens his eyes in shock and shouts, “Pastor!!!”

Embarrassed, Pastor Akpos shouts, “JESUS CHRIST!!! WHAT IS THIS I
said COMBATRINE!! - See more at:

There was a time in my village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for N5,000. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at N5,000 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at N8,000. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to N20,000 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it! The man then announced that he would buy monkeys at N100,000! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers; “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at N75,000 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for N100,000.“ The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-13 21:31:59

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