Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Akpos goes to see a native doctor and says "can you lift a curse that was put on me years ago ?" "Maybe," says the doctor, "if you can remember the exact words of the curse ?" Akpos replies without hesitation "I pronounce you man and wife ..."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-15 13:12:09

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Red Friday II
Few minutes after Jack left Zick and the other
guys back at the table with the stripper
girl,,three vehicles drove into the large
compound of club play house. It was two cars
and a bus all filled with members of the
“wolves”. The vehicles drove straight into the
car park of the bar and then two men
alighted from the first car. They were dressed
in a red t-shirt and black trousers,,timberland
boots on their feet and then one wore a red
beret on his head while the other was putting
on a red head warmer. They put on their
black jackets to reduce suspicions and had
tucked in their belt their shot guns.
The two men moved slowly into the
bar,,looking around them to observe. They
went straight to the counter in a pretence of
making orders and then they went to sit at a
table at the far end of the bar. They kept
turning their heads left and right and after a
while one of them stood up and walked back
to the car park. He was to inform them of the
number of “cobrans” he noticed were around
and also to inform them that zick was not
among them. His name was “Lekan”.
He reached the second car and bent his head
close to the passenger’s window in front and
made some inaudible comments. After a while
two men came down from the back of the car.
They were dressed in the same outfit too.
They followed the first guy and walked back
to the bar,,moving towards the direction
where the other guy was sitting.
Now the four men were sitting at the table.
Waiting for a signal to strike. From where
they sat,,they were able to observe all the
members at one view. The “cobrans” had
been off guard none of them had noticed the
four men walking in and even sitting on the
table. They were taken unaware. Fifteen
minutes after the four men had been
seated,,a call came through to lekan’s phone.
It was from someone at the car park. A few
minutes after,,he put the phone in his pocket.
“It’s time” He said.
They all nodded in agreement. He pulled out
his black gun from his jacket and put it under
the table,,corked it and looked around one
more time. He stood up and he quickly
pointed the gun at the closest “cobra”
member.
“POW!!” The gun shot went.
In a few minutes after that shot a lot of
things transpired. The three other men with
Lekan also stood up and pointed their guns
at other members of the “cobra” and fired
shots.
“Pow! Pow!! Pow!!!”
“Blam! Blam!! Blam!!!”
“Gboa! Gboa!!
There were glass cups breaking and flying in
the air. The chairs scattered around and
people hiding behind the tables for cover.
There was a long silence and nobody moved.
Nobody was standing except the four men
who had now come together in front of the
counter. All the “cobrans” were hiding behind
tables and they were scared to bring out their
guns. It was very clear that their sole
motivator was zick. If he was not around
them then they were hapless and couldn’t do
a thing.
Back at the club jack had heard the first gun
shot and he quickly came to his senses. He
put in back his Joystick and zipped up
bringing out his gun at the same time. He
left the stripper there who was in fear and
surprise. When he got back he saw they were
all at alert.
” I heard a gunshot” He said. While looking at
zick as if to get an explanation from him.
Zick was calm. But he knew there was
trouble. He was holding his gun too. He
summoned jay jay and lekinz to go out and
check what went wrong,,asking them to be
careful and alert. But jack wouldn’t have
that;he wanted to go out and see for himself.
“Capo who get mind dey shoot gun for this
place where we dey? That person dey craze?”
he said.
By this time more shots had been fired and
when they heard it they knew it was worse
than what they thought. They had been
ambushed. Zick wasn’t ready to go down
without a fight and when he thought it could
be obaz who had planned the ambush he was
impressed. Cos he never expected it. Though
he had been warned before hand but he
didn’t take it seriously. Perhaps he felt too
powerful to be taken off guard.
Jack and jay jay left the club and walked
slowly into the bar. They had sighted the
position of the four men and opened fire
immediately they entered the bar. Jack was a
sharp shooter and he hardly missed a shot.
“Gbo! Gbo!! Gbo!!”
“Pow! Pow!! Pow!!!
Shots were fired continuously from jack and
jay jay’s angle as three of the men went
down immediately. Lekan who was closer to
the counter was lucky enough to dive behind
the counter as quickly as he could move.
There was a scream by one of the attendants
who was hiding there. Jack and jay jay kept
shooting at the counter continuously. Glass
cups and bottles of alcoholic drinks were
broken and shattered around. Lekan was
badly hit on the leg. The wooden counter
made of mahogany was ridden with bullet
holes and it looked as if it would fall down
any moment soon.
Everywhere was quiet now.
Jack walked slowly to the counter with his
gun facing towards the direction where Lekan
dived. All of a sudden Lekan sprang up
holding the female attendant by the neck and
pointing a gun at her head. She screamed
loudly. This was to use her as a bait so that
jack would free him. It was a cowardly act.
This was certainly not the movies. Jack
smiled in an “I don’t give a fuçk manner” and
shot the girl on the fore head twice. Lekan
was hopeless now as he raised his two hands
up in the air to surrender. Jack Pointed his
gun at him. By this time members of the
“cobra” who were hiding behind the tables
began to stand up and take strategic
positions.
As jack was about to shoot Lekan there came
another set of shots fired. This time it
sounded like Ak-47 and M-16 machine guns.
“KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!!!!!”
“GIGIGIGIGIGIGIGIGIGI!!!!”
“TUTUTUTUTUTU!!!!”
“GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!”
The other “wolves” had come down from the
bus and the small car to attack. They were
coming towards the bar with full force. This
was their plan,,to send out a small team first
so as to draw out the top members and kill
them. Obaz and alberto alighted from the
first car. obaz moved towards the direction of
the club with some men while alberto led the
attacking force to the bar.
It was total WAR! And there was no escape
for the “cobra” this time. But they wouldn’t
go down without a fight.
Sporadic exchange of gun fire ensued and
bodies were dropping left,,right and centre.
Jay jay was about to fire a shot at alberto
but he was too slow for the knife master. In
swift seconds a knife was stuck in his
throat,,blood splashing everywhere. He
quickly drew his knife from his throat and
took cover behind one of the tables. A man
fighting with a knife cannot be running
around when bullets are flying in the air.
Members of the “wolves” were gaining ground
now as the body of “cobrans” were littered on
the floor like fishes in the sea. However,,jack
was still able to kill a large number as he
shot swiftly hiding comfortable behind one of
the tables too.
Obaz had rushed with some men into the
club where they would find zick. As they
entered shots were opened on them
immediately.
“Pa! Pa!! Pa!!!”
“Bow! Bow!! Bow!!!”
Four of obaz’s men went down instantly as
zick and his two wing men were shooting
from their hideout. They were hiding behind
the counter of the club and had held the
people inside hostage.
Obaz in a swift reflex action quickly dived in
slow motion behind one of the tables with
glass shattering on his body.
There was a long silence….
One of obaz’s wing men raised his head and
began to shoot at the counter where zick and
his crew were hiding. Bottles were breaking
and glasses shattering. The strippers were
screaming loud but the sounds from the
shots fired overpowered everything.
A sky vodka bottle which broke found a larger
part of it landing directly on Fab’s neck and
he died instantly. Obaz and the two other
men left stood up and began to shoot at the
counter too.
There was no way out.
Zick had to act fast. He saw a table at the far
end which was curved in a perfect way for a
shield and he set himself to dive. In an
instant he dived and fired shots
simultaneously at one of the shooters killing
him and he landed behind the table
perfectly,,just as he had mapped out. The
shooting stopped.
Zick had to find a way out. He knew he was
over powered and there was nothing he could
do. Turning to his left was a glass window
which was locked. That was his only way out.
He crawled on the floor with the broken
bottles piercing his elbows and knees but the
pain was not the important thing for him
right now. He had to save his life first.
Immediately he dived towards the
window,,hands first,,crossed in an “X”
position in front of his head and he shattered
the glass. His body following swiftly and he
landed on the hard concrete just outside the
club.

To Be Continued…

>> Part 7 -

Darling: Hey silly; why did you leave without telling us
Loveth: sorry; is just that i have a client to attend to
Vivan: excuses; that is one thing you are good at
Loveth: you wouldnt understand
Darling: then make us understand
Loveth: is just that i needed air
Vivian: does it mean we are choking you to death
Loveth: not at all; anyway was new
Darling: nothing new
Vivian: why? the always busy socialize woman is bored
Darling: will you stop it (phone ringing) who is this nuisance
LOVETH: just go on and answer that
Darling: of cause i will (she pick up) hello
Miss p: hello Darling; is miss p way back at the university
Darling: oh i remember now; how are you and why are you calling? or do you want to invite me to you wedding or a show; just spill it; is your wedding right?
Loveth: (outside)Darling; you are just too much
Darling: oh shut up
Miss p: what was that
Darling: oh sorry; dont mind me and those my silly friends
Miss p: oh thanks goodness i dont have to call them any more; you will help me tell them that i'm also invite them to my wedding
Darling: oh my good good looking; you just made my day i was just so bored. so when is the date
Miss p: i am so sorry; is coming in late; is just this weekend
Darling: no problem; we will be there; just count on us
Miss p: i cant always count on you all. i have to go; so please sent my regard
Darling: God always know how to add sugar to my tea
Vivian: meaning
Darling: we just got our self a function to attend this weekend
Loveth: what?
Darling: yes and we'll be there
Vivian: i cant because my husband and i, have a prayer meeting with our...
Darling: pastor; boring life. that is what you get when you decided to become a church girl and you (to Loveth)
Loveth: sorry i would had love to come but my mom and i are going to her friends place
Vivian: what for?
Loveth: she said she wanted me to get hook up
Darling: with her son? is he handsome; tall
Vivian: calm too and good smile too
Darling: tells us dont spoil the mood
Loveth: will you two stop being annoying; i dont even know this boy from Adam
Vivian: Alright; but please dont spoil the funny; you know what to do?
Loveth: put the phone on recorder so that we wouldnt miss any part of the conversation
Darling: good girl but hold on; so whom am i going with
Vivian: no one or better still go with your husband
Darling: never; dont him knows his mate (they all laughed) but serious i really love to go but i will just go clubbing
Loveth: good for you but don't forget you are already handcuff with that small thing round your finger
Darling: i know
Vivian: that reminds me; i wouldnt like to shop for a new cloths
Loveth: Me too and a pair
Darling: shoes
Loveth: how do you know that
Darling: i know everything; have you forgotten that i'm a journalist
Vivian: just admit it you are a gossip
Darling: whatever
Loveth: will you too stop lets just go now
Darling: fine
Luke: hey man
Alex: dude; why are you this early
Luke: i just get fed up sometime; when you have so many people telling you to go get married and you are not just ready for that
Alex: you are not ready for that? when will you be ready? when you are old and gray? you are almost thirty
Luke: i know but i am not yet thirty for crying out loud i'm the one who is wearing the shoe so i know where it hurt. i dont want to go back that lane;
Alex: the fact that your passed relationship didnt work out well that doesnt mean that you should close your heart towards relationship and marriage(he laughed) whats funny?
Luke: you of all people should know better than advising me to get into that game again
Alex: What game
Luke: relationship and marriage game (Alex laughed)
Alex: you are funny; you are really funny; if relationship and marriage is a game then you have to be involve in it because you doctors are the ones that say all work and no play make a person grow weak
Luke: yes boss but lets just drop it
Alex: Alright fine; i will go ahead just think about my proposal
Luke: what proposal?
Alex: that i'm bringing a girl to your house she is my course mate way back in school
Luke: Dont bring her to my house
Alex: then i will inform your mom
Luke: alright; fine is a deed you can come. when are you bring her?
Alex: tomorrow
Luke: what? that is too sudden
Alex: Take it or leave it
Luke: fine
Alex: deed
Luke: deed
Alex: i go ahead take care (exit Alex)
Luke: oh (he take a deep breath) i wonder how i ended up with such a crazy friend. i just wonder why people think i need to find my perfect match and mom believe that everyone has a prefect partner but i dont believe there is a any right one for me like my bone of my bone or fresh of my fresh. i really dont believe in that part of the bible. waiter please come get your money (curtain)
Alex: hello friend
Luke: how are you
Alex: i'm fine. Luke meet Yemi the girl i told you about and Yemi this my body Luke; we quarrel but we make up again
Luke: that is how real friends behave right
Alex: right; i always listen to his stupid ideal about relationship
Luke: Alex; just stop that bullshit. anyway; nice meeting you
Yemi: me too (Alex phone ringing) man your phone is ringing
Alex: i got to go
Luke: what you are leaving?
Alex: of cause; you can take care of yourself right? Yemi don't worry my friend is a saint (exit Alex)
Luke: that friend of mine is something else. once again welcome; feel free and make yourself comfortable
Yemi: thank
Luke: pardon me what can i offer you
Yemi: red label will do and a plate of fried rice
Luke: sorry; i cant get the second stuff because i'm not a woman
Yemi: then get a maid to be doing all this things
Luke: i should get a maid or get married which one
Yemi: your wife is not a maid so even if you get married you still need a maid
Luke: really
Yemi: of cause; don't you like it
Luke: Yemi; tell me what you like doing
Yemi: hmm; i like clubbing; hanging out with my friends and dancing and i hate to cook
Luke: what? (he went in and prepared meal for her) come and eat
Yemi: thanks; i really enjoy this food; you such a good cook
Luke: thanks; i got it from my mom
Yemi: really; i will like to meet your mom
Luke: don't worry i will definitely take you to her
Yemi: oh you are so sweet(she kissed him) i want to go home now

Luke: no problem; i will drive you home
Yemi: no you don't have to because i can find my way; just give me transport
Luke: alright; (he gave her five thousand)
Yemi: this is small but i will manage it; thanks anyway (she left)
Luke: oh my world i cant believe that i cooked for a girl. she is so unruly. i have lot of things to do instead of thinking of a foolish girl




see more



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One day a man went into a chemist's shop and said, "Have you anything to cure hiccups?" 


The chemist asked him to turn round and suddenly gave him a hard slap on the back. The man nearly fell and turned round angrily and shouted, "What did you beat me for?!" 


"There is no medicine for hiccups." The chemist explained. "But a sudden shock often cures it. As you can see, you are no longer hiccuping." 


"Of course I'm not hiccuping, it's my son at home who has hiccups not me!"  


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-22 13:25:50

162 Views



Sorow [Read it]


Frends i lost my mum dis mornin so i nid ur prayers ova her


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-17 21:03:42

821 Views




Please Forgive Me!
My Phone experienced some technical desolation. It was on 13th February, 2016 @ 23:59hrs when my phone, deliberately (i guess), faced some mechanical viruses which promised to set it free after 48hrs i.e @ 23:59hrs on 15 Feb. I guess this did not kindle havoc, or any chaotic situation. I, therefore, sincerely convey my apology for such a regretable moment. And I entirely promise to look into the situation so that next year on 14-02-17, the problem should not be repeated. Hope you all bear with me.
Unfortunately, that was not the only problem. The door of my house encountered some ideological attack which left it functionless. Sorry to the one who was knocking! It wasnt my fault. It was the door. I failed to open it till 15th Feb, when i opened it. Lastly, I give the chance to the one who was knocking to come and i will meet him/her 'coz i've abolished the problem. Anybody who wanted to communicate with me on 14th, this is the best time because my phone is no longer in problems. Fred(#B-goF)


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-16 10:07:20

333 Views




Look right & left for cars and bike, look up for aeroplane, down 4 bomb,back 4 kidnappers, look aside,hold ur bag tight and watch the person beside you. Then walk zig zag to avoid straight bullet. FUNNY NAIJA


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-14 13:03:08

317 Views




Why some ladies too dey form? As
dem dey form reach, nah so some
Smellos guyz go dey trip for dem.
This happened to me:-
E get one Lady for my department
wey dey claim ajebo. One day for
skul dat kind 7:30 am we were
having early morning lecture,
eventually She started feeling
feverish and waz about throwing
up wen I decided to accompany her
outside. my broda wen we comot
outside I waz expecting her to at
least vomit somtin like tea and
bread bcoz of whom She normally
claim to be and for the fact say na
early morning, but to my suprise
She waz busy vomiting garri and
groundnut. wetin com pain me
pass be say She still dey dia dey
talk “ah ah dis can’t be ” I said wot
do u mean, She said “dis is not wot
i ate dis morning b4 coming to skul
na”#
Vex don catch me, I just leave am
for there make she Vomit her
Intestine..
Share your own Experience about
Ladies who form alot.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-09 11:43:41

413 Views




EPISODE 14

The days that followed Vanessa’s visit were
not so
good for Mma.
Cynthia turned wary. Very wary.
Stella bounced back to action, scheme
restructured.
That afternoon when Mma came back with
Richard
carrying two shopping bags, each filled
with
clothing and similar items, Cynthia did not
respond to Mma’s vigorous offering of
thanks.
Richard had offered to buy her new clothes
earlier
in the day when she wore a hand-made
skirt out in
the sitting room.
The skirt looked normal enough with a
good hem
finishing and a well-done central zipper,
but the
seams did not seal up well and the black
thread
used in the sewing showed, visibly
contrasting
with the yellow color of the fabric.
Richard and Cynthia were impressed at the
fact
that she’d made the skirt herself using just
scissors, thread and needle.
‘It using to fine well but it growing old
now,’ Mma
told them.
‘I see,’ Richard said, having that kind
amused yet
curious
face he always used to listen to her tales.
‘Don’t worry I’ll enroll you in a fashion
school but
right now go in and put on something else
let me
go and buy you some clothes.’
Mma did not hide her excitement. She half
screamed, half danced before she sank to
her
knees to thank Oga and Madam.
As they were leaving, Cynthia stared at
them
under beetled brows.
Vanessa had told her to look out for the
signs,
confirmatory signs. She’d been seeing them
well
enough now; Mma being asked to join them
at the
table or sit on the couch to watch TV or
carry his
personal files downstairs to his car. And
now the
shopping.
The former two Mma had refused blatantly
because she hated to be watched when
eating and
because there was only one seat in their
sitting
room in the village, the one her father sat
on which
her mother had now inherited after he died,
she’d
grown up watching TV from the floor.
That night, arguing voices woke Mma. She
opened
the door and tiptoed across the brightly-lit
hallway, her shadow, a short, black, big-
headed
version of herself following her along.
The voices were coming from the sitting
room. She
pressed herself to the wall and listened.
‘Richard, you must!’
‘Oh no, Cynthia, I won’t oblige you this
time.’
‘God, Richard, can you hear yourself? So
you
brought her here as your mistress really?’
‘Think whatever you want. I can’t send her
away.’
‘Who is asking you to send away. Send her
back to
where she came from. Or did you go to the
homeless to pick her. God, Richard, if you
were so
Hot, couldn’t you have used a prostitute
instead?’
Richard’s features twisted in disbelief.
‘Just hear yourself, Cynthia, just hear
yourself!’
‘Can you tell me why she must live here
with us?
Can you?’
Mma felt the urge to cry. She wished it was
possible to disappear then and find herself
in the
village, on her spring bed, her sweet-
smelling
wrapper covering all but her face.
Richard sat down and held his face on two
hands.
Cynthia stood there vibrating. ‘If she can’t
leave,
maybe I should get myself out.’
Richard’s eyes ran up to her. ‘What are you
saying?’
‘If she won’t leave, I will.’
She burst off to their room.
Richard inhaled deeply, heart aching. He
hated
trouble, hated stress. He had to quit his
banking
job because of it, only four months after he
was
made branch manager. His real estate
business,
Richardson Developers, has been doing
quite well
since he started three years ago, as well as
his
other smaller businesses.
Mma quietly walked away into her room.
Inside their room, Cynthia picked her phone
and
dialed Vanessa.
Vanessa was furious. ‘What? Leave the
house?
Babe, don’t even try it! You want to
concede defeat
to the dirty girl already? No!’
Cynthia told her that she did not know
what to do,
that she was confused, very confused and
that she
hated the way she was feeling, hated being
so
angry.
‘You have all the reason to be angry, my
dear.
Believe me, if I happen to be in your shoes,
I’ll
burn. But don’t throw away purpose in fury.
She is
leaving not you! Babe, don’t dare try it.
Calm
yourself and be in control. I know you.
Babe,you
can do this.’
Later Richard came to the door but Cynthia
had
bolted it from inside. He knocked gently.
‘Baby,
come and open the door.’
He knocked and turned the door knob
again.
‘Baby, please.’
He walked away when it became obvious
she
wasn’t going to open the door.
He went back to the sitting room and
straightened
out on the couch. But he couldn’t sleep. He
rose to
a sitting position, chin on one hand.
Now facing Mma’s door, he raised his hand
to
knock but hesitated. He lowered back his
hand and
turned to walk back to the sitting room.
Like magic, the door opened and he turned
back.
Mma looked startled seeing him.
‘I sorry. I going to the bathroom.’
‘It’s okay.’
‘How are you?’
‘I fine.’
‘Good. I…I…’ Richard was stuttering. ‘I
mean do
you…’
This would be the first time speech would
fail him.
Mma noticed and it saddened her.
‘Waiting here. I rushing and easing myself
and
coming back and answering you.’

>>

10 Types Of Invigilators You Will Meet In Exam Halls

1. The ones who will praise the first student to submit his booklet making every other students look like they know nothing. “Woooooow !!! Do you mean you have finished?” They will face other students and say “can see your life oooo?, he finished within an hour, that is a well prepared student”.

2. The ones who will keep telling you the history of their lives, how they performed excellently amongst their peers when they were in college. They will tell you they were always prepared for any exam & the barely got “C” * if I hear*

3. The ones who will collect your question paper and go through it. They will ask “why sweating profusely for these cheap questions? If I were you I would have finished since *if I hear*

4. The ones forming James Bond in the hall. They will start giving testimonies of how many students they have caught cheating and have been rusticated **wetin concern us with that one ?**

5. The ones who will collect your question paper, go through the questions and shake their heads pitifully without saying anything.

6. The ones who will glance at your answer booklet and they will ask why your booklet is blank. &ldquoidn’t you read for this exam ?” **Abeg swerve go left jor**

7. The ones who will never accept your apology if you are caught cheating. The moment you are caught cheating, just hurriedly obtain the next available Jamb form.

8. The ones who are very sensitive: Try communicate with any student and they will change your seat, you keep wondering how smart they really are to have noticed you.

9. The ones who are very gentle and friendly. Thirty minutes into the exams they are already sleeping. The moment you are making noise, they will wake up, walk around and return back to their seat. Before you know it they will sleep off.

10. The ones who will force you to submit even if you still have an hour left. They will tell you “what are you still writing when all your mates have submitted?” Which of them annoy you the most?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-08 11:01:19

1339 Views



lol [Read it]



AKPOS STORY
.
Yesterday, I went into a pharmacy and told the
pharmacist "Hello, could you give me condom?
I'm going to my girlfriend's place for dinner and I
think I may be in with a chance!"
.
The pharmacist gave me the condom and as I
was going out, I came back and
told him "Give me another condom because my
girlfriend's sister is very cute too. She always
crosses
her legs in a provocative manner when she sees
me and I think I might strike a luck there too."
.
The pharmacist gave me a second condom and
as I was leaving again i turned back and told him
to Give me one more condom because my
girlfriend's mum is still pretty cute and
when she sees me she always makes eye
contact and since she invited me for dinner I
think she is expecting me to make a move.
.
..
During dinner, I sat with my girlfriend at the left,
the sister on my right and the mum facing me.
When the Dad walks in, I lowered my head and
starts the dinner
prayer."Dear Lord, bless this dinner and
thank you for all u've given us".
.
10minutes after, I was still praying
"Thank you Lord for your kindness. ...."
Ten minutes go by, and I'm still praying,
keeping my head down, very close to the table.
.
They all looked at each other surprised, and my
girlfriend was even more surprised than others.
She gets close to me and whispered, "I didn't
know u're so religious.
.
Me with my head still on d table replied,
"I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-24 23:04:24

379 Views




She started struggling on my bed, kicking her legs and moaning painfully, gasping for breath.
My heart skipped a thousand beats
Before I could understand what was happening, she collapsed on the bed.
I fearfully stared at my unconscious visitor.
Confused, nauseous and lost.
“please don’t do this to me” I pleaded seriously.
Tears fell from my eyes,serious manly tears.
My heart pounded furiously.
The poor girl breathed her last, a very heavy breathe it was before keeping still, leaving me all alone to my fate. All alone and hopeless.
I was left with the choice to tell the truth.
  A freaking truth which no one would buy.
“No no no” I cried with panic, jumped out of the bed and wore my trouser. My mind was set on going out to seek help. To scream, to cry out
loud.
“Perhaps my neighbours could be of assistance” I reasoned with a cold shiver. But on second thought I played down my fears and decided not to seek external help. She wasn’t breathing, she already was freaking gone. I felt her pulse over
and over again.
Desperately, I tried breathing into her mouth to see if she can start breathing again but to no
avail.
I pressed on her chest a hundred times over, but nothing worked.
I fell back with fear, while the consequences of my predicament ran through my head. I was in
deep shit.
I needed no one to tell me that I only had a little time to think out a good explanation or plan.
Time was running out fast. Dawn was quickly approaching.
“Damn” I exclaimed as my head played back our last moment together. I really was ruined, definitely fucked.
“Damn 2go” I hissed, wondering what must have happened to her.
“perhaps she’s asthmatic or something. Perhaps I woke up too late to save her. Jeez” I cursed,
reached for her handbag and searched it for drugs or something similar but found nothing.

Slowly my clock struck 4:10am, I had little time left.
“I have to act fast. I have to move her body” I reasoned with a fearful courage.
“Where will I dump her?, how do I cover my tracks?, did anyone see us together the previous evening?” I wondered as I pulled her down from my bed.

>> Page 3 -

akpor went to heaven he saw
many beautiful thing, then angel
micheal appeal and said mr
akpors u re welcom, come let me
show u around so akpor
followed and they were
discusing
akpor;sir this place is so
beautiful can i mess here
angel;yes u can
after some time akpor ask again
akpor;sir can i we-we here
angel;yes u can
after some time again akpor ask
akpor;sir can i pupu here
angel;yes u can
so when akpor was through he
ask again
akpor;sir can i use the flower to
clean my buttock
angel; yes u can
as akpor was about to use the
flower he receive a big slap on
his face, akpor re u mad, u mess
4 bed i no talk, u we-we 4 bed i
no talk, u pupu 4 bed i no talk,
now u wan use my wrapper
clean u yash U DEY MAD,, hahaha



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-17 12:04:42

417 Views




chizi was a tall handsome young man full of vigour nd good will. He believed in God nd hardwork, nd hails frm orije village in Abali community. He travelled frm his village to Asanga for his daily bread. A dedicated trader who deals on textile materials, cosmetics, wrappers nd female shoes, chizi criss-crossed d African countries to purchase fashionable item in town for his customers. A practical christian, whom God rewarded accordingly at d end. Most of his latest wrappers were beaded in gold nd zig-zagged with special silvery threads, beautifully designed, patterned nd tailored to attract customers. He had in stock George wrappers called"d big masqeurade or nnukwu nmawu" nd other special wrappers like"one million stars" designed with cylindrically carved mirrors, embroided beautifully at various ends. These beautiftl wrappers attracted d women like butterflies are to flowers, and this fashion parade exercise fascinated husbands who could afford them.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Biology class [Read it]


TEACHER: Draw a diagram of bacteria. 
[Few minutes later]
KID: Here it is sir. 
TEACHER: Where? You haven't drawn anything
KID: Sir, can you see bacteria without microscope?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-16 19:36:20

321 Views




MY SWEET AND
LOVELY HOUSE BOY
(EPISODE 4)
I was so devastated on hearing him make that
phone call, I had to go to the bathroom, and
clean up, I really didn't know what to say, I kept
on thinking and thinking of a plan, how could
tunde leave me this way? How and why could
he? I loved him so much but he wasn't
concerned about all that, all he wished for was
to please my dad, and I guessed all he thought
of was not to date his oga's daughter as they
call it...
But you know, after all that happened with my
former bf, I've learnt a lesson, maybe chasing
after all the rich guys, you wouldn't really or
you'd hardly find love.....
And I think there's a strong force pulling me
closer to Tunde...
********Someone badges in*******
Tunde: shade, I'm sorry, I'll be leaving, I'll no
longer be working here, I'm sorry if I've hurt your
feelings in anyway....
Me: I really have nothing to say okay, but if you
feel hurting someone else and getting away with
it is cool then okay....
Tunde: bye.... I'll miss you and the house
****just before tears rolled down my cheek, I
heard a horn.... PEeeeeeeep.... it was my
friend's Tobi Honda car...******
Me: What the F**k is Tobi's car doing here!?
Tunde: ah she volunteered to pick me up...
Me: wait, you'll be staying with her? **with a
puzzled look**
Tunde: Yes, any problem with that? I'm no longer
under your control madame...
Me: hmmm
Tunde: don't worry nothings going on between us
****PEeeeep.... She horned harder*****
Me: what's wrong with that b*tch? Tell her to
stop disturbing this environment...
Tunde: remember that was your besty and you're
using mean words on her, girls sha...... I'll have
to leave now....
Me: Like I care....... Anyway I'll help you with
your bags...
Tunde: I'll really appreciate that Shade, but
there's no time for that now...
Me: I insist...
Tunde: hmmm
****i had the sole intention of helping him with
his bag cos I wanted to create a scene by
kissing him infront of Tobi******
So we came close to the car, he collected the
bags and when he was about entering the car
Tobi came out, and said “I told you he was mine,
you'll never have everything friend, you're rich
I'm not as rich but I've got someone that loves
me”
On hearing this, I accelerated my plans, I moved
close to Tunde and gave him the best kiss I
could ever give him, he was so shocked he stood
there without moving or responding, I was 99%
positive he'd push me off but hell no, he
didn't.....
Until I stopped.... And told him bye... And went
back to the house, I was filled with joy...
Meanwhile tobi was mad....
Tunde: Get in the car, let's go
Tobi: what the hell happened there?
Tunde: I've got no Explanation, you saw what
happened
Tobi: what do you mean you've got no
explanation?
Tunde; I said Get in the Car!!!!!!!
*****she entered the car immediately as if Tunde
was her commander, while I was outside
laughing though it was raining a bit*******
Shade: next time don't you shout at me again as
if you're the owner of the car or I'm I your
driver!?......
Tunde: or Else you go beat me? Hmmm
****back to my own problem I felt really pained
that night, I barely slept well, I woke up sent the
maid to buy breakfast and my head was filled
with crazy thoughts like "what if he's on bed with
tobi now"
"What are they both doing now"
****I heard a knock on the door, ko ko ko... I
then remembered I sent for breakfast****
Me: Whaaaaat!? What are you doing?
****it was Tunde, he came back?******
Tunde: I missed giving you breakfast...
****he winked*****


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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who is in danger







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-19 21:34:44

881 Views




At mountain of fire obiakpo obranch where Akpos worships, he was in church
on sunday when after the preaching, the pastor asked if anyone wants to
repent, he should come out. Akpos came out.

Pastor: So Akpos, are you ready to give your life to Christ?
Akpos: yes.
Pastor: Okay,
repeat after me, dear heavenly Father, I thank you.

Akpos: Dear heavenly Father, I thank you,
Pastor: Thank You for giving out
your son Jesus Christ to die for my sins.
Akpos: Thank You for giving out your
son Jesus Christ to die for my sins.
Pastor: Even as I come to you
today, accept me, and wash my sins away, and make me clean.
Akpos: Even as I come to you today, accept me, and wash my sins away, and
make me clean.
Pastor: For in Jesus name we have prayed.
Akpos:  For
in Jesus name we have prayed
Pastor:  Amen!!!!
Akpos: Amen!!!
Pastor: You are now a new man.
Akpos: you
are now a new man.
Pastor: No, you can stop now, I have
finished.
Akpos: No, you can stop now, I have finished.
Pastor: I said stop
repeating after me.
Akpos: I said stop repeating after me.
Pastor: Holy Jesus!!!!!!!!
Akpos: Holy Jesus!!!!!!!!
Pastor: Akpos stop this before I place a curse on you.
Akpos: Akpos stop this before I place a curse on you.
Pastor: Do you know you are in front
of the church?
Akpos: Do you know you are in front of the church?
Pastor: It seems you are not yet born again.
Akpos: It
seems you are not yet born again.
Pastor:  Akpos, please
stop! The pastor whispered.
Akpos: Akpos, please stop, Akpos
whispered.
Pastor: it seems you are possessed.
Akpos: it seems
you are possessed.
Pastor: Church please help me beg Akpos to stop.
Akpos: Church
please help me beg Akpos to stop.

church
members: begged, Akpos please, stop!
Pastor: Akpos, go and sit
down, the pastor said and faced the congregation; Offering time!

Akpos: Akpos, go and sit down, Akpos said and faced the congregation,
Offering time!

The pastor changed his mood, and said; Akpos,
If you think you can come here and stop offering, you are a lier!. Akpos,
If you think you can come here and stop offering, you lie! Akpod
said.
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
please make sure u share this joke with your friends



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-20 08:40:25

452 Views




For those who do not have easy access to porn:

Switch to a TV channel showing Women Tennis and close your eyes and listen to it!Related

ONE WRONG TURN
Episode 12

The 6’o clock alarmed buzzed with
It’s usual disrespect and insolence.
I hated that alarm. It seems to go
off during the sweetest part of my
sleep.
Unlike most people though, i
loved Monday mornings. It meant
going back to school. It way my
getaway, my only chance of
leaving this cell.
Today was a special Monday, i was
going to do something i had
never done before. I was excited
and scared at the same time.
My day began like every other
day, i jumped out of bed 5
minutes after the alarm, and
dragged myself to the sitting
room for morning devotion.
Once again, order than mumbling
a few unintelligible words, i had
no active participation in the
prayers.
My mind was solely focused on
getting to school. As soon as the
prayer ended, i greeted every one,
and headed straight for the
kitchen to do my chores.
I finished up quite early, the zeal
and speed with which i finished
my chores surprised my mum, i
was fond of lingering on chores.
I bathed swiftly, and got set for
school. My white shirt and blue
skirt were properly ironed. There
was not a single stain on my
stockings.
I looked as neat and tidy as
possible, everything was in order.
I came out of the house, and sat
inside my mum’s car waiting for
her to take me to school. She took
me to and from school every
single day of my 6 years in
secondary school.
As i sat there, my mind began to
wander. I was about to do
something strange and unfamiliar.
How ll this day turn out? Where
exactly is Ehis going to take me? I
was unsure of myself, but i just
couldn’t wait to find out.
My mum joined me in the car few
minutes later, it was already
7:45am. She started the engine
and we zoomed off. My day was
just about to start.


>>

Fuel palava [Read it]


Post Body







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-26 22:05:13

492 Views




Box Office Report:

“The Xpose” featuring Himesh Reshammiya performs better than Congress!Related

On the table, is bacon, eggs and a huge glass of milk. However, before the boy could have anything, his mom demanded that he take out the garbage.Angry at the world, the boy goes outside to take the garbage. On his way back inside, he stops at the pig pen, and kicks a pig in anger. He stops at the chicken coup and kicks a chicken in anger. He then stops at the cow barn and kicks a cow in anger.Back inside, the boy feeling better, sits down. Only to find a bowl of dry cereal. He exclaims, “What’s this?!”The mom replies, “Well, because you kicked the pig, you get no bacon. Because you kicked the chicken, you get no eggs. And because you kicked the cow you get no milk.”Suddenly, an angry voice comes from the other room. Tripping, the dad kicks the cat in anger.The boy responds, “Wanna tell him or should I?”Related

SEVEN QUESTION [Read it]


Question 1. Who is a
gynecologist?
Answer: He is the only
fool on earth who looks
for problems in a place
where others find
pleasure.
Question 2: What is the
difference between a
cricketer and a condom?
Answer: The cricketer
drops the catch, and the
condom catches the drop.
Question 3: What is the
difference between riding
a bicycle and riding a
woman?
Answer: To ride a bicycle,
you position your ass and
then move your legs. To
ride a woman you
position your legs and
then move your ass.
Question 4: What three
things are common
between the sun and a
woman's underwear?
Answer: Both are hot,
both look better while
going down and both
disappear at night.
Question 5: Why do men
ask for a woman's hand
in marriage?
Answer: Because they are
tired of using their own.
Question 6: What is
common between men
and video?
Answer: Both go
backward, forward,
backward, forward, stop
and eject.
Question 7: What is the
closest thing similar to a
woman's period?
Answer: Your salary, it
comes once a month and
last about 5 - 7 days and
if it doesn't come it means
you are finished!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-11 11:22:29

1154 Views




Smile makes the day better. That’s the best thing we can do to make life happier, to us and to others.

Good Morning!Related

20k [Read it]


An igbo engineer was fed up that he has not been seen customers,so he decided to open up a clinic where he wrote "treatment 20k but if not healed you get 100k"..a lawyer saw this n thought that this was a way to get an instant 100k..so he went to the clinic..LAWYER:i have short eye sight.DOCTOR:nurse 2 drops of the medicine in the blue bottle.as the nurse was about doing so..LAWYER:stop this is kerosine..DOCTOR:drop 20k u can now see..LAWYERdrops 20k and left)..the lawyer was so angry that he just lost 20k,so he plotted to try again so he would get 100k..-next week-LAWYER:my eye sight is getting weak I can't see clearly..DOCTOR:nurse 2 drops of the medicine in the blue bottle..as the nurse was about doing so..LAWYER:ah!stop!!this is kerosine..DOCTOR:drop 20k you can now see clearly..lawyer: (angry and drops 20k then left)...-next day-LAWYER:I can't see anything am totally blind..DOCTOR:sorry!we don't have medicine for that,take his 100k and leave..LAWYER:but that's 20k..DOCTOR:drop 20k and for you can now see..
You won try igbo man??


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-09 17:24:24

600 Views



Film shooting [Read it]


DURING THE SHOOTING OF A MOVIE.
.
.
Director: Alright now you will
stand here and we are going to open the cage for
the lion to
come out it will chase you but it wont bite you. It
dosen't bit
.
.
Breezy: How sure are you?
.
.
Director: That is hw it is written in the script.
.
.
Breezy: Has the lion read the script?
ehhhhhn GOD PUNISH YOU.
#Lol


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-06 20:25:51

417 Views




In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a
roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see
if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of
the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers
came by and simply walked around it. Many
loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads
clear, but none did anything about getting the big
stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of
vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the
peasant laid down his burden and tried to move
the stone to the side of the road. After much
pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. As
the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he
noticed a purse lying in the road where the
boulder had been. The purse contained many gold
coins and a note from the king indicating that the
gold was for the person who removed the boulder
from the roadway. The peasant learned what
many others never understand.
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve
one’s condition.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Kejriwal reminds me of a childhood friend who after coming out from exam hall said ‘Phod ke aaya hai paper tera bhai’ & got 3 marks in maths.Related

Sexy jokes [Read it]


A beautiful innocent young girl wants to meet Santa Claus so she puts on a robe and stays up late on Christmas Eve. Santa arrives, climbs down the chimney, and begins filling the socks. He is about to leave when the girl, who happens to be a gorgeous redhead, says in a sexy voice, "Oh Santa, please stay. Keep the chill away."

Santa replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, gotta go, Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."

The girl drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in an even sexier voice, "Oh Santa, don't run a mile; just stay for a while..."

Santa begins to sweat but replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, Gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."

The girl takes off her bra and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay."

Santa wipes his brow but replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, Gotta go, gotta get the presents to the children, you know."

She loses the panties and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay...."



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-20 09:07:14

2131 Views



Naughty man [Read it]


There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bar man 10 shots of whiskey.

The bar man asks, "What's the matter?"

The man says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend."

The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey.

The bar man asks, "What's wrong this time?"

The man says, "I found out that my son is gay."

The next day the same man comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey.

Then the bar man asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?"

The man looks up and says, "Apprently my wife does."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-12 20:22:17

657 Views




NIGHTMARE LAST EPISODE 5 (STORY BY DINDY)
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story...
:
:
:
The creatures came close to me but I couldn't see much because of the dead body parts on my face and some blood on my face.
They started saying stuffs like "your time has come to die and you shall feel the pains of souls around". (I was so happy to hear them say the word "die".)
The second creature pounced on me then tore my cloths and it started pilling off my flesh, it pilled every single flesh I had on my skin making me cry in pain; the pain I felt was more than that of a woman in labour (it was even more than the pains souls around felt).
There was no soul or god that could save me from my situation, I was bleeding fast so so so much due to the speed the creature pilled my flesh. As I was bleeding the creature licked my blood and ate my flesh right before my eyes.
Now I was like a skinless goat and I knew my time was up; the first creature took me by the hair and threw me into an empty grave (I think that grave was already waiting for me).
The grave was as deep as an ocean, i dropped at the end of the deep grave; like a bag filled with limestone.
My face faced upwards then my eyes met with that of the creatures which scared me alot and sands started falling into the grave to cover me up.
I was naked and in pain and now I was gonna be buried alive......then suddenly.................
I woke up from my deep sleep breathing heavily with a heart rate which was very high; like a high tension wire, my chest was swollen and my hands and legs were shaking because fear was all over me.
I could still hear the sounds of people crying for help and I could still feel pains all over my body, I was still afraid.
I still felt the taste of the maggots in my mouth and sands on my body and the smell of the dead body parts on my face.
I looked at my clock which was in front of my bed and it was 2:45AM, i looked to my left and right but couldn't see anything (my room was kinda dark).
The air condition and fan was on but I was sweating like I just came out from an oven.
My sweat was so much that it could fill a bucket and my bed was also filled with my sweat, (I think I might have urinated on my bed, due to the excessive fear and torment i faced in my dream.)
Then i said to myself "so the dream world can bring such anxiety to me?, this is unbelievable so nightmares are real, i never knew it could be so scary. see what the nightmare made me do now i and my bed smell like urine".
After those words i got up to clean up my bed because it smelled alot then I went to take a shower and change my cloths, after I did that I went to the kitchen to drink water.
when I got to the kitchen I opened my chilled refrigerator then looked in it to find water but could not find any but I saw my unfinished apple fruit juice which made me smiled, i took it and slipped it; the fruit juice was sweet and cold with chilled my whole system.
I was about to leave the kitchen when the juice fell off my hand, I bent down to pick it up, "thank God it didn't waste away" I sang happy in me.
I went to the parlour to watch a movie because I couldn't sleep, I sat on my soft sofa and reflexed, the television remote was on top of the television so I majestically stood up from the sofa and went to get it and turn the television on.
When I got there I turned the television on and it came on but it went off as soon as I turned back to go sit on my sofa.
It was funny to me because it has never done that before, I went back and switched it on again but it did the same thing, I tried it one more time and it finally came on.
I went back to my sofa and i sat down to watch television. As I was watching the television something dropped on my face, It was a watery substance (it was weird to me because it was impossible for my roof to have a hole in it).
As i wondered within me another dropped and another and another then I took a good look at it and it was blood!, now I was scared so I looked up and I saw my own body hanging looking at me, it was the nightmare I had and it was real everything that happened to me in the dream was right there above me and I was looking at it in real life; both the injuries and the maggots and the fleshless body.
I screamed!!!!!.....as the body which was over me dropped on my body, i continued screaming and screaming, the body held my neck and said "THE NIGHTMARE HAS JUST BEGAN" ......................THE END.
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi


Akpos opened his
eyes after a surgical
operation and
breathed "Thank God
it's over". A man on
the other side of his
bed said, "don't be so
sure, they left an
injection in my belly
and had to open it
again".
Another patient
added, "same with me
but mine was a pack
of cotton wool".
Almost immediately,
the doctor who did the
operation stormed in
and asked, "Has
anyone seen my
watch?", Akpos
fainted.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-12 17:47:00

406 Views



SMART MAID [Read it]


The
maid asked for an increase in salary, and the wife was upset. She asked,
"Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"

HELEN: There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.

WIFE: Who said that?

HELEN: Your husband.

WIFE: Oh.

HELEN: The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.

WIFE: Who said that?

HELEN: Your husband.

WIFE: Oh.

HELEN: The third reason is that I am better at sex than you.

WIFE: Did my husband say that as well?

HELEN: No, the gardener did.

WIFE: So, how much do you want?"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-09 21:25:29

131 Views




Akpos had a serious accident with his brand new car. A police officer nearby ran to the scene to help them out.


"This man's car just hit my car! That car is worth Six million Naira! Now,my car is a total write-off!"


The police officer shook his head in amazement and said "You are so materialistic.You didn't even realize that your hand had been cut off". 


Akpos looked at his bloody arm and screamed "OH MY GOD!!! Where is my gold wristwatch, and my ring!!?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-20 14:22:21

1522 Views




Aaa..my pastor talk on friday night vigil say "Today..I say today..the lord would do a permanent thing in your life..",as he dey talk na him e con "say if u believe turn to ur neighbor by ur left n tell him/her..-it shall be permanent"..na so I turn to my neighbor by my left tell am-it shall be permanent,he reply mme back..na so pastor talk again.."Oh I say turn to ur neighbor by ur right n say;neighbor...what d lord has done for u..shall be permanent.."
As I turn say make I talk na our landlord when we dey hold for 3years I see..as I say "it shall be"...-na so he set blow face me..he say "talk am"..I say "oga landlord,it shall be."-na so he grab my cloth..he say "talk am"..na so I say "it shall be well"..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-07 09:57:05

544 Views




Boy Friend Asked Her Girl Friend.



Boy Friend: “Baby Are You Jealous ?”



Girl Friend: “No”



Boy Friend: “Baby Are You Jealous ?”



Girl Friend: “I Say No”



Boy Friend: “Baby Are You Seriously Jealous ?”



Girl Friend: “I Already Told You, No”



Boy Friend: “Baby Can I Get A Kiss ?”



Girl Friend : “Go Get A Kiss From That Ugly Girl That Liked Your Status On Facebook“Related

Episode 2

Akpos was sleeping when there motor arrived in Yobe. Coming down from the motor behold 9 women wearing hijab(muslim dress dat cover all dere body including dere face ) coming towards Akpos. Akpos shouted and ran into one man`s house. Seeing Akpos shaking d man asked d wife who was in d bedroom to bring water for Akpos. Then he asked Akpos why he was running. Akpos said dat he saw ghost, dat they are every where, d man was suprised. Immediatly d man`s wife came out wearing black hijab, Akpos saw her and fainted.

.........Stay connected for Episode 3..........

Read

In my interaction with all kinds Of ladies over the years, I discovered that there are some questions that they don't normally reply you with the truth. It's as if it's a Taboo in their "Ladies Kingdom".

Even if they are too good, they often keep silent with a smile (I call that GREEN LIES) OR "bend" the truth until you can't tell which is truth anymore. lol.

Below are some of those questions:


1. How old are you?

Majority of ladies feel that if they reveal their age to an interested young man in a social network, they might be looked down upon, but not with a potential partner na...
Age is a number, just spill it.
Hiding it does not reduce it.


2. Are you in a relationship?

When you ask her this question, TWO things are involved.
She might say YES to make you think that she is not lonely and bored.
If she says NO, it might be that she's a type that wants to "dig gold" (as my brother tosyne2much analysed, hehehe) from all angles OR she might just be spreading her tentacles.
Lies remains Lies!


3. Are you a Virgin?

This is like a rhetorical question. Before you ask, just answer it yourself, YES!

Some might get mad at you just for asking, hah! Bae, sorry o... My curiosity got the better of me...


4. What can make you tell a lie?

Lies? Lies are bad, she'll reply.
I don't lie. I hate lying.

Take a deep breath because you've just been lied to.

5. Do you love me?

NB: I've never asked this sha . lol.

Whenever you get to this point, don't try to ask. Anything you hear is obviously not the truth.
Why? Love is shown more than it's spoken.


6. When was the last time you got laid?

More often than not, if she is a bit honest, she'll tell, two years ago or A year and six months.
I'm not doubting her but... hmm!
God is watching ooo!


7. What did you take for breakfast?

Hehehe! She will never tell you garri or "packet shirt" with ogbono soup.
She will tell you things like: Plantain chips, Indomie, Bread and tea...

The thing go fear me more when I ask, since morning? and she replies, Yes!
Hah! Where you get strength from to rush for lectures? You be Super woman?

She won't tell you she's watching her weight which Most times are PLAIN, SILLY LIES! Lol!
For most part, She'll tell you Nothing, I am not hungry or I have lost appetite... iffa hear!

All she needs to hear is just your "Bae, try and eat something, OK" lol.


These are my findings, you can add to it.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-30 11:52:33

327 Views




A Little Girl And Her Brother Were Discussing; GIRL: Brother,Lets Tell Mummy To Stop Giving Us Chicken Again.See! Am Already Growing Feather On My Pussy. BOY; You Are Right.Lets Go And Tell Her [They Went To Meet There Mum].GIRL; Mummy,we Dont Want You To Give Us Chicken Meat Again. BOY; Yes.Mummy We Dont Want Chicken Meat Again. GIRL; See Mummy!.Am Already Growing Feathers On My Pussy. BOY; Yours Is Just Feathers.Look At My Own.[Pulls Down His Pant]. GIRL; OMG!!! Yours Have Start Growing Chicken Neck [Fainted]


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-21 17:30:18

342 Views



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