Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


If you slap a guy and he
vomit #1000 note
and you slap him again and
he vomit
#2000, you slap again and
he vomit
#3000. . . .
What will you do?
A. Run away
B. Continue slaping him
C. Pick the vomited
money
D. Report to police
E. Beg him
F. Kidnap him
Comment below.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-10 13:22:14

578 Views




Me: wat do u mean by she ran away
Gerald: u've always prayed for this right
Me: wait...she paralysed my leg and all u can say is i've...
Gerald: oh pls don't give that crab,just let me be
Me: wat become of me now
Gerald: (hugging me for the first time)i'll get u a househelp
I felt this butterflies again.
Gerald: don't worry ok
Me: ok
(Two days later)
Girl: good mornin ma
Me: mornin how may i help u?
Girl: my name na Cilia baby,ur house-girl
Me: oh i see,where re u from?
Cilia: ah i be folo-come yoruba nah
Meh
Cilia: (sitting next to me)madam ah wetin happen to ur leg
Me: i had an accident
Cilia: aya na im be say u no go waka again be dat
Me: ya
Cilia: ah how oga come dey knack u?
Me: meanin?
Cilia: i mean like this(demonstratin it for me)
Me: oh that
Cilia: yes
Me: u knw wat go and start workin
Cilia: u never answer me na
Me: don't worry we'll talk more next time
Me: oya na
I wonder where Gerald got this girl from.is like someone Is burnin something
Me: geez Cilia wats this
Cilia: (smilin)i put fire na
Wat cilia did shooked me.....

>>

During a robbery, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you." Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept”

Changing the conventional way of thinking. When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!" This is called "Being Professional”
Focus only on what you are trained to do!

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got." The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!" This is called "Experience.”
Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”. This is called "Swim with the tide.”
Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month." This is called "Killing Boredom.”
Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"
This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"
The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery. This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!

So who are the real robbers here?




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-14 08:45:43

1042 Views




Akpos packed His Toyota peugeot4x4 in front of is house.
 A mad man who
was passing by the car noticed something at the back of the car and he stopped.
The mad man then said ”who is this idiot teacher who
could not solve just a simple arithmetic? 4×4, is it not equal to 16?
The man who wrote d simple arithmetic must be an illiterate. Let me solve
it for the man so that he will understand it better” the mad man
then look for a sharp stone and write =16 in front of the 4×4.
When
Akpos saw it, he was annoyed. Akpos now went and write 4×4=16
all over the car so that the mad man will leave the car alone. When the
mad man was coming the following day and saw that 4×4=16 is written all
over the car, he then said. That is wonderful, they got all the simple
arithmetic right. He then pick a chap stone and start marking all the
body of the car where they solve the arithmetic. After marking, the mad
ma counted it and write 100%.
Akpos came out and fainted 



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-14 22:11:28

934 Views




The blue Volvo XC90 wheels furiously sped on the road of New York City. The driver was Jeremy. He was crazed with anger and fear. “Darn it!”

‘Very critical.’ ‘Act fast.’ ‘He said not to.’ The words Dr. Allan had to him kept echoing in his head. That further agitated him. His hold on the steering wheel tightened. He put his right foot on the accelerator and increased the speed of the car. He drove too fast, like one possessed by a demon. His anger. His fear. He really still doubted what he’d been told. He hadn’t come to accept what he heard. Why should this be happening now? Why should it ever happen? How am I going to cope? How will I survive this? He was damn too absorbed in his thoughts. A tear slid down his cheek.

The siren of a police car could be heard. The vehicle was trailing Jeremy’s ordering him to pull over. Jeremy failed to notice that. He kept on driving. He had to get home quick. He really had to talk to his father. Patience, he didn’t have.

The wailing siren soon hit Jeremy’s ear drums. He quickly glanced at the door window of his car. He saw the police car following him. “Holy shit!” Jeremy didn’t stop to obey their command to pull over. He just turned on his radio, increased the volume and acted as if no one was behind him. His car was still on a very high speed.

Fortunately, the street leading to his home came into view. He smiled to himself. A light at the front and back of his vehicle indicated he was about to turn right. He adjusted the gear lever, released his foot from the pedal, the car’s speed reduced. He turned successfully. As he made to move the vehicle further, the police car drove past him and stopped right in front of his vehicle. This was possible because he had reduced the speed of the vehicle while turning. They hadn’t, they took the risk. Jeremy was already on the move, to avoid hitting the car ahead of him, he slewed the car sideways and abruptly halted the engine. His vehicle was only a few inches from the police’s. He escaped narrowly. He sat back in his car, panting.
*
*
*
A woman? What was a woman doing out here? She doesn’t look like a killer. She was dressed in a close fitting pink gown. Wore flats and had a purse with a long chain hand- matching the colour of her gown. Was she a friend of Melisa? Or she came to spy on her. His Melisa was more prettier than she, perhaps she was jealous of her. He smiled within him. She’s so striking. He never withdrew the gun from pointing at the strange lady.

She in turn, kept daring him. Those green eyes of hers blazing with fury. She looked at him with disgust. From his foot to his head. He was dressed in a black suit and was quite handsome, but not as Jeremy. Her Jeremy. She scowled. “Aren’t you going to shoot?”

Whoa! Acting so tough. She was scared a moment ago and now she’s trying to be brave. He grinned.
“Don’t ask for something you don’t want.”

—————————————–
“Go on. Carry out your threat.” she insisted. Deep within her, she was quivering.

He inhaled deeply. “Are you alone?”

She smiled. “Yeah.”

Quickly, he lowered the gun, dipped it at the back of his trousers, probably at the waist. He reached out for her hand and started dragging her.

She hit his hand hard.

He immediately stopped and looked thunderously at her. “What is the meaning of what you just did?”

She returned his glare with cold eyes. “Let me go!” She almost screamed.

He tightened his hold on her, flung her to his side and placed his left palm over her mouth. “You realize we are in front of someone’s house?” he rhetorically asked in a harsh tone. “Don’t forget I have a deadly weapon here and will be forced to use it if I want to.” He warned her.

She fought within his grip. Trying to prove stubborn.

He released her mouth.

She gasped. “Who are you? Let me go!”

Ernest only chuckled. He buried his left hand at the back of his trousers and pulled something out. He placed the object on her hips.

She stiffened feeling the gun on her.

“Ready to cooperate?”

Her head moved up and down.

He smiled wickedly. “That’s it girl. Move.”

Tricia obediently moved. She wasn’t ready to die yet. Her legs moved till she was at his car.

“Get in!” he commanded.

“What?” She asked.

“Don’t let me use this on you!” his eyes were filled with fury.

She’d had enough. If he wants to shoot her, he’d better do it. Who was he to order her around? It angered her a lot. Was this how Jeremy felt when she ordered him? This wasn’t the time to think about him, he dumped her. It was time to deal with this intimidating man. “I am not going to do that! I have my own car, in fact I drove it down here. I will ride it back home. Not going anywhere with you.” she protested fiercely.

His eyes darkened. “Don’t try my patience.” He pointed the gun at her. “I’m going to sho-”

“Shoot me already!” She yelled, cutting in. “I’m tired of waiting for that. Do it!”

This was one tough woman. She had given him the permission to kill her, what was he waiting for? He silently laughed. He wasn’t gonna kill her, he just used the pistol to threaten her, get her do as he says. Too bad, she wasn’t a lady one could control. She bravely opened up her feelings. Direct contrast of his Melisa. He smiled. “Alright, dear. You got me. Please get in. I’m not going to murder you. We’ll come for your car, later.”
*
*
*
Purity sank into her bed. She let go of the notepad. It fell to the ground. Why now? Why? Not when she was beginning to feel happy, love her parents more and to love a non-member of her family. Things had began to fall into place. She placed her hands on her face and rolled.

Why did he have to come back? How did this happen? He was surely going to disturb her relationship with Jeremy. That night, he had told her he’d never forget her. Wasn’t he drunk? Oh my, God! I’m in trouble, she mused. Darn it! Jeremy would definitely stop trusting her. What if he finds out? She didn’t think he would, besides he never knew Jeremy. She’d deal with him her own way. No one was going to find out.

This time, she was gonna do the right thing. She wasn’t gonna make a fool out of herself. She wasn’t gonna let her parents, Edwin nd Jeremy down. She slowly closed her eyes.

>>

Grey Hair [Read it]



A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”

The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”

The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-26 12:44:36

369 Views




THUNDER (LAST PART THREE) JOKE BY DINDY

DINDY BE LIKE;
:.....
1). The thunder wey go fire you go be like etisalat..... 0809ja for life.

2). The thunder wey go fire you go be like price tag..... #200, #400, #1500, #75000.

3). The thunder wey go fire you go be like the importance of water....... Regulates the body's temperature.

4). the thunder wey go fire you go be like Baba ijebu....... 2 sure.

5). The thunder wey go fire you go be like zebra crossing..... Black and white.

6). The thunder wey go fire you go be like yansh wey dey occupy space...... aka matter.

7). The thunder wey go fire you go be like maths subject......double period.

. The thunder wey go fire you go be like mad beat.....aka itz young john the wicked producer.

9). The thunder wey go fire you go be like John 1:1.....In the beginning was the thunder, and the thunder was with you, and the thunder fired you.

10). The thunder wey go fire you go be like ashewo wey dey do lap dance with fela song...... 1 hour and counting....you're on a long thing.

DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-01-09 13:34:57

233 Views



Wheel Barrow [Read it]


A White Man visited a Village in Southern Ghana and saw the people carrying blocks on their heads from a far distance to a building site, they were building a town hall. The White Man felt pity on them, donated a wheelbarrow and travelled back.

One month later, the white man came back. He was surprised to see that the work was still slow, even with the support of a wheelbarrow. He looked around and was shocked to see an on-coming wheelbarrow with a guy pushing it, and another guy sitting inside it smiling and carrying a block on his head.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-09 09:50:21

331 Views



Akpos is fired [Read it]


Akpos has worked in a pickle factory for several years. One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Akpos vows to overcome this rash desire on his own.A few weeks later,
Akpos returns home absolutely ashen.
His wife asks, "What's wrong, Akpos?"
"Do you remember how I told you about my tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
His wife gasps, "My God, Akpos, what happened?"
"I got fired."
"No, Akpos I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?""Oh, um, she got fired, too."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-19 08:41:55

1525 Views




Ofego entered a store that sells curtains.

He said to the salesman, I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.

The salesman said, Sir, we have a large selection of pink curtains.

He showed Ofego several patterns, but Ofego seemed to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally, he selected a lovely pink floral print.

The salesman asked, What size of the curtains do you need sir?

Ofego replied, Fifteen inches.

Fifteen inches? The salesman asked. That sounds very small, which room are they for?

Ofego replied, They are not for a room, they are for my computer.

The surprised salesman replied, But sir, computers do not have curtains!

Ofego replied, My computer has windows!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-09 07:48:35

975 Views




A P C = Amalgamation of Political
Criminals
P D P=people decieving
people
*IMO = i must obey
*IBADAN =Igbo Boys
Are Dangerous At
Night...
*ABA =Agboro Boys
Association
*LAGOS =Love All Girls
on Sunday
*ABACHA = After
Babangida Another
Criminal
Has Arrived..
*GULDER =Girls under
linguor deserve extra
romance.
*F.A.N.T.A =Foolish
Ashawo Never Takes
Advice.
*W.E.E.K =Woman's
education ends in
kitchen
.
*NIGERIA =Never
Investigate
Great Executive Robbers
In Authority.
*NEPA= Never expect
power always.
*KOBO=Kill obasanjo
before others.
*AIDS=America
invention for
discouraging
sex.
*PHCN=Please hold
candle near
*OYO=On your own
*NYSC=Now your
struggle continue
*Glo=Get lover online
*Mtn=Maintain total
Nonsense
*JONATHAN=Just ON
Ambition To Hurt All
Nigerians..
*OBAMA=Ordinary
Black African Managing
America
*STAR=Stay together
And rejoice
* NOW= Na obasanjo
work
*Whisky=Whatch.
How.I.Slowly.Kill.You


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-16 09:38:49

239 Views




What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It’s time to go to sweep.Related

Made in Aba [Read it]


Akpos was sitting at a bar, and thinking about his life, when all of a sudden, Ironman, the town's most notorious thug smacks Akpos in the face and says


"That's KUNG FU, made in Japan".


A while later, Ironman the thug smacks Akpos again and says "That's KARATE, made in Korea", then sat at the bar and started drinking.


Akpos gets up and leaves the bar. A short time later he comes back and smacks Ironman, the thug, knocking him out cold and he said to the barman, "When that IMBECILE wakes up, tell him that was a SHOVEL, made in ABA!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-22 13:32:56

221 Views




The gate of the inner wall opened and the people enters.They were full of joy but at the same time scared

Some soilders stands on a tall building with arrows in their hands
Aare iku-Ready your arrows.and prepare to fire
Balogun ijaya-Now!
Aare iku-fire!(the iba's soilders fired their arrows)

Lord olola-cover yourselves with your shield(the tera's soilders covered themselves with their shields.Some arrows killed tera's soilders while some were block by the shields

Aare iku-Now ready to throw fire catapults(lord akogun walks toward balogun ijaya)
Balogun ijaya-have you put men to guid the box of power?
Lord akogun-yes,i have done that(he walked towards iberu and smiles,he then walked towards aare iku and whispered to his ear)
Aare iku-you over there(turning to iberu)go and join the first line of the soilders at the front
Iberu-but sir...
Aare iku-will you shut up and do just that
Iberu-okay sir(he leaves his post and was going to the first line)
Aare iku-you(turning to a soilder)lead him to the first line and make sure he joined them
Soilder-yes sir(he leaded him as instructed)
Aare iku-throw the fire catapuls now(the soilders threw it with a big catapult machine and it meets tera's army and some died)

Comander ekungba-now throw the stones at onces and the catapuls(the tera's soilders threw them and it killed some iba's soilders)Now attack(the soilders ran towards the gate but the gate was locked,they were unable to brake it and they brought a big weapon called gate breaker and they started hitting it on the gate)

Lord akogun-secure the gate,dont let them brake it(the soilders hold the gate lock harder so it wont be broken)
Aare iku-the gate is already breaking
Balogun ijaya-Ready your swords and spears(the soilders draw their weapons and are ready to fight)

Lord olola-now the gate has broken.move in and slay all of them(the soilders shouted and ran inside the kingdom and the battle started)
Comander ekungba-now lets pluck some head(he draws his sword and whinne his horse and go inside the kigdom

Balogun ijaya-Fight with your energy.defend your kigdom with your lifes(the battle keeps going on,blood started flowing)Our soilders are dyeing
Lord akogun-lets retreat to the second gate
Balogun ijaya-retreat!!! To the second gate(the soilders of iba ran inside their second gate and closed it,they sends arrows and catapults and the tera's soilders broke the second gate)

Commander ekungba-Go and get the box of power,search everywhere

Soilder-they are coming for the box of power.draw your swords and defend it(they fought and the tera's took the box of power and leave the kingdom

Balogun ijaya-now they have the box,what should we do,we are out numbered and they are many,we cant just chase them,we will all be killed
Lord akogun-lets return to the palace and inform the king

King-(laughing)we conquered again
Aare iku-but we failed my king.the box of power is gone
King-(turns to balogun iberu)he knows nothing
Balogun iberu-that box we put outside the the palace wall is a fake one,we exchange it with a box brought by that wise soilder(points to a soilder)
Lord akogun-(suprired)iberu
Iberu-yes my lord
Lord akogun-how...i...i...that is nice,he is a wise man(laughs but inside him he is angry)
Balogun ijaya-he came to me when we started the war and told me the tera's soilderes will go inside the palace to take the box and they may kill any royal family,so he brought a box that looks more than the box of power and told me that we should put it ouside the palace wall so that the tera's soilderes wont enter the palace,and that when they sees the box they will take it and go.Which is exactly what we did
Lord akogun-nice one
King-lets celebrate and i will promote the boy
Iberu-thank you my king
Lord akogun-(he claps)really nice(they all laugh and rejoiced)curtains colses

TERA'S KINGDOM
King ina-yes you made me proud
Commander ekungba-thank you my lord
King-let all the soilders celebrate and drink to their statisfaction(the priest of tera enters)
Priest-my king
King-what brings the great priest here...ooh you have heard that we brought back the box of power.i hope you have seen it?
Priest-yes my lord.I fear they have brought the wrong box
King-what?

should the story continue?.I want to know if you penple are enjoying it .if you want it to continue,let me know in the comment box

>>

Talk true,,who mumu pass among dis 4 guys,,







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-14 00:05:24

727 Views




Luke: mom;i was told you are not doing fine
Muriel: son;who is she?
Monica: good day ma
Muriel: how are you?
Monica: fine ma
Muriel: what is your name?
Monica: Monica ma
Muriel: i like that name;i was hoping of naming my daughter that but i wasn't given the chance to but it like my son is going to make it reality for me
Luke: mom;can we go to the hospital so i can carry out some test on;in order to know what the problem is
Muriel: i am not sick;since you have been avoiding me;this is the only way i could bring you home
Luke: i can't believe this
Muriel: is there anything wrong for a mother to tell a little lie;if that will make his son come home?(to Monica)
Monica: not at all
Luke: mom;please that is a enough;now that i am here;what do you want to do with me?
Monica: don't be silly
Muriel: you see my son;he had learn how to talk back to me
Monica: don't mind him
Muriel: my daughter is my son dating you?
Luke: mom;please
Muriel: go on tell me
Monica: um...no;we used to but not any more
Muriel: why?
Luke: Monica;lets go(he dragged her)goodbye;mom(exit Monica/Luke)
Muriel: what wrong with this son of mine?
Monica: hey;will you stop dragging me?
Luke: sorry;i am so sorry about that. is just that my mom is making me uncomfortable
Monica: your mom;is not doing anything wrong
Luke: so you think;the next thing she will say is do you want to marry her(she laughed)what is funny?
Monica: you are;what is bad in one telling her child to get married?
Luke: everything
Monica: don't you want to get married?do you have to grow white in your head before you get married?you are too old to still be single
Luke: see who is talking;why cant i see ring on your finger and mark you;i am older than you with just five months not even a year. SO YOU are old too
Monica: are you insult me because i wanted to help?
Luke: i am sorry;i didn't mean to
Monica: keep your sorry to yourself;excuse me(she walked away)
Luke: sorry;i said i am sorry;this lady of now nowadays are too rude(to himself)


Darling: honey;where is my var?
Danny: um..is faulty so i have to take it the mechanic
Darling: how come?don't tell you were driving my car?
Danny: is not like that;cant i used my wife stuff any more
Darling: no that;you have yours
Danny: i know but you remember the two shall become one;that means your stuff is my stuff and my stuff is yours
Darling: don't just colonize me with that
Danny: is not colonization(he stared at the mirror)
Darling: where are you going to?
Danny: to the club
Darling: you and club. i am sure you going to meet those your numerous girlfriends
Danny: you know i don't like girls but i like party
Darling: is same thing
Danny: see who is talking;does it mean you have boyfriend
Darling: don't you dare turn the table
Danny: fine;am sorry;do you want to come
Darling: really
Danny: of cause;but don't put too short things
Darling: yes boss;i will just go and change
Danny: alright;be fast about it
Darling: no problem(curtain)


ANN: my husband told me to come to you
Luke: who is your husband?
ANN: Abraham
Luke: i thought you said he is not your husband
Ann: tell me;who deserve to be his wife me or that stupid club girl who have(enter Abraham)deceiving him that she is a Christian but in a real sense she is a club girl;a murder;that is pretending to be a christian?
Abraham: that is enough
Ann: i am just saying the truth because your wife can not give birth because of her uncountable abortion
Luke: what?
Abraham: just ignore her and carryout check up on. she is saying rubbish
Ann: i am not the one saying it;unless you want to tell me that pastor is a liar
Abraham: will you keep quiet
Luke: that is enough;sine your pregnancy is at the early stage the nurse will tell you what to do and please don't stress too much
Ann: alright thank you
Abraham: bye;shall we
Ann: of cause
Luke: next person(curtain)

Loveth: mom;
Grace: what is it?
Loveth: please;forgive me;i can't bear see you mad at me for so long
Grace: that is your business
Loveth: mom please;anything you want me to do for you,i will do it
Grace: then go get married
Loveth: mom;i get
Grace: so you don't want to get married?
Loveth: is not like that
Grace: then what?
Loveth: mom is not that easy
Grace: it is;i will be travelling by tomorrow and i will be back with your dad
Loveth: when are you coming?
Grace: in six month
Loveth: alright mom
Grace: mark you in that six month be ready to get married because i am telling your dad that you are going to get married then;so he can make time to come.
Loveth: but mom;i haven't even find him
Grace: i don't care take this money go get me a pair of shoe for your dad
Loveth: but how will i be able to get a good shoe for a man when i am a woman
Grace: if you were married you would had know
Loveth: please mom;i go ahead
Grace: better(curtain)


Shop keeper: miss what are you looking for?female shoe are over there
Loveth: assuredly;i want to buy a male one
Shop keeper: alright;i leave you to make your choice
Loveth: thanks(enter Luke)
Shop keeper: at your service sir;men shoes over there
Luke: no;i want a female shoe
SHOP KEEPER: alright;are you buying for your girlfriend
Luke: not really;my mom
SHOP KEEPER: you would had come with your girlfriend so she can make a good choice. anyway i go ahead(exit Shop keeper)
Luke: she is such nosing one;what do i do now?(back to Loveth)
Loveth: i dont even know what to do and if i don't pick any mom will kill me
Little boy: hey ma;don't pick that one it will get bad fast
Loveth: what will you know about shoes?
Little boy: i am a man but if don't want to listen stay here (exit)
Loveth: hey hold on;i would had just listen to him;then to annoy him and now i am choice less
Luke: i think i will go get help;i will look for a lady at the female cloths section and i also need shoe;i will get my shoe first(he walked to towards the male shoe section)hello Mrs(no replied)hi;i am talking to you
Loveth: can't you see;i am not married(she raise her head)
Luke: you?(she turned)
Loveth: oh no;i am in trouble
Luke: why?(she turn to leave but he dragged her back)i need you help
Loveth: i can't help you
Luke: you might also need my help
Loveth: i don't(she remember she have to buy a male shoe and here is an opportunity to get one)fine
Luke: that is good



TO BE CONTINUE....


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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JOKE PART 74 BY DINDY

:......
Dindy breathing heavily
:......
Girl: Dindy I say you can do this!.

Dindy: Yes I can!.

Girl: You are a man!.

Dindy: Yes I am!.
:.......
Dindy jumps up and down.
:.......
Dindy: [Shaking body] Yes I can do this!.
:......
Dindy runs around the compound for five minutes.
:......
Then comes back breathing heavily.
:......
Girl: Are you ready now?.

Dindy: [Breathes heavily] Yes now I'm ready!.

Girl: Now take that broom and kill that cockroach!!!........

DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 75.









NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-12-21 21:24:03

287 Views




Akpos bought a Blackberry 9800 today and has been sharing his BB Pin 278E7DB5 with everyone on the street.


Browse through all jokes, rate, comment and share joke with friends. Don't forget to Add your own jokes too.


Make sure you follow AkposJokes on twitter. @akposjokes


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-08 07:15:57

271 Views




The model of ownership, in a society organized round mass consumption, is addiction.

-Christopher LaschRelated

MY NERVE [Read it]


One day while Timmy's dad was just
getting out of the shower, Timmy
looked down and said, "Dad what's that
hanging between your legs?" "Oh Timmy, that's my nerve and yours
will be this big one of these days,"
replies Timmy's dad. The next day while in school, Timmy
really had to pee so he raised his hand
and said, "Aunty, I really need to go to
the bathroom." "No, not yet, there's someone in the
bathroom already," says his teacher. Not able to hold it in, Timmy walks to
the dustbin and starts to urinate.
Surprised to see her student peeing in
the dustbin in front of the whole class
the teacher says, "Timmy, you have
some nerve!" Timmy says, "That's nothing. You
should see my father's own."
#?BOLLY_SMART? ?? ? ? ? ? ??™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-25 19:54:47

312 Views




A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she’s a tramp.

-Joan RiversRelated

Neel apni gf k ghar dinner par gaya, uska pet kharab tha us din.

Puri family dining tabel par aa k baith gayi, gf ne puri family se neel ko introduce karaya aur table par shaandar dinner rakha dekh neel k muh mein pani aa gaya.

GF’s father:- hello beta neel, how are you?

Neel:- m good uncle, aap sab kaise hai? Aap logo ne mera itna khayal rakha aur itna warm welcome kiya iske liye thanks a ton.

Achanak neel k pet mein gud-gud shuru ho gayi and he Farted “Poooooooo….”

Saare logo ne neel ki taraf dekha Aur uske baad neel k paas baithe huye GF k dog Tommy ki taraf dekha.

GF’s father:- “Tommy…ye kya hai?? Chalo bhago yaha se.” Tommy wahi baitha raha.

Neel ne socha chalo achchha hua kisi ko pata nahi chala aur ilzam Tommy pe lag gaya.

2 min baad again neel “poooooo….”

Gf’s father gusse mein:- Tommy… Get out, bhago yaha se… Neel fir se bahut khush hua.

Gf:- Sorry Neel, ye kutta bhi na… Tommy bhago chalo jao, hato neel k paas se..

Thodi der baad fir se neel k stomach ne saath chhod diya aur ab ki baar ka poooo kuchh zyada hi tez aawaz se nikla… “POOOOOOOOOOOOO……”

GF’s father:- Tommy haramkhor!!! jab wo tere upar hug dega tab hatega kya waha se kameene..??”Related

Biology [Read it]


A boy and a girl went to see their teacher and asked. sir can a 6years old girl get pregnant? No said the teacher. You see i told you said the boy, lets go and continue.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-26 17:19:37

288 Views




BLIND BY NATURE EPISODE 16 (STORY BY DINDY)
please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story...
......THREE DAYS LATER......
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Celestin opened his eyes feeling weak and tired, everywhere was completely dark (remember he is blind) and quite like a grave yard, he tried raising his body upwards but he just couldn't so He raised his left hand upwards and placed it on his head.
[CELESTIN THOUGHTS]=> Dam* how did this happen to me? Where I'm I? What is this pain I feel all over? What happened.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He questioned himself so much within, with a soul of confusing deep within his spirit.
[WRITER SPEAK]=> While he was battling and asking himself questions a nurse came in to check on him. Immediately she came in she saw his reaction (his facial and body reaction was moving according to the rhythm of fear and confusing) which made her run to him fast.
Nurse: "Sir keep calm you are safe in this place", she said softly to calm him down.
Celestin: "What is going on? Why do I feel pain all over my head", he questioned the nurse confusingly.
Nurse: "Sir please relax, you had an accident", she said.
Celestin: "What!", he shouted.
Nurse: "Sir please you need to relax", she said trying to calm him down.
Celestin: "How did it hap..", he said holding his head in pain without completing his statement because he felt a bang in his head.
Nurse: "Sir please stop talking and just relax", she said.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Immediately Celestin relaxed his body back on the bed (with the help of the nurse) the nurse ran to call the doctor. On getting to the doctor's office she saw him leaving his office.
Nurse: "Sir, the patient has woken up", she said breathing fast.
Doctor: "That's good news, let's go", he said walking to go see Celestin.
.....MEAN WHILE AT JULIAN'S HOUSE.....
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Days ago Sam made Julian angry after he called her a name she doesn't like (sick sack), she told him that he would surly pay for what he said but Sam paid little attention to what she said (he took her words for mere talks).
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Sam had plans that day to go see his girlfriend (who leaved three streets away from theirs) and to go check out some new stuffs at the mall, After showering that morning he went to his room to get dressed.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> When he got to his room he saw Jack playing games (Jack is a lover of games), he ignored him and went to his closet to bring out his outfit for that very special day.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He was able to bring out his red designers t-shirt, black wrist watch, belt, and light blue trousers from the closet but he wasn't able to find the one thing that best complete his dressing which was his red sneakers.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He became confused and was thinking who could have taken his sneakers, as he was thinking his mind flu back to the time when he annoyed Julian and he remembered all she told him.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Deep within him he knew that there was no way Julian could do such thing without the help of someone, immediately his mind pointed at Jack (the naughty and stubborn boy of the house), he knew it was only jack who could help Julian to fulfill her plans against him.
Sam: "Jack do you have any idea where my red sneakers are?, he asked looking at jack.
Jack: "I don't like it when you guys ask me about things I don't know of", he said faking a frown.
Sam: "Jack stop faking a frown, that shit doesn't work on me, got that?", he said sounding serious.
Jack: "As you can see I'm playing a game", he said.
Sam: "Jack don't try closing up what I asked you before", he said.
Jack: "What you asked was not an open question but a closed matter", he said with a smile.
Sam: "So you know that Julian took my red sneaker?", he asked.
Jack: "I have nothing to say bro", he said smiling.
Sam: "Jack Where did Julian hide my sneakers?", he asked.
Jack: "Like I'm suppose to know", said jack.
Sam: "Don't act like you don't know jack", he said.
Jack: "Hy guess what bro?", he questioned
Sam: "What?", he said with a low eyes look.
Jack: "Its your biz", he said giving Sam the evil smile.
Sam: "I am gonna kill you!", he said angrily pushing his hands forward to catch jack.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Jack being a very smart boy dropped the pad of the game very quickly then he ran outside the room, Sam ran right behind. Luckily for Jack; Julian was coming from outside the house (Front yard) where she sat alone.
Jack: "Julian save me this dude wanna chop my head off", he said running to Julian's back for protection.
Julian: "(confused) What going on here?", she asked blocking Sam from jack.
Sam: "Julian I am gonna kill Jack for helping you hide my sneakers". He said trying to catch Jack.
Julian: "No you better leave him alone, remember you started all this shit first and now you are gonna pay for it", she spoke with power.
Sam: "So that's how is gonna be", he said with a soft voice and hard face.
Julian: "yes boy", she said smiling.
Sam: "Ok", he said turning back.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He was about making more foot steps back to his room when he remembered that the red sneakers was super important for his outfit that day, he then turned and went on his knees to beg Julian.
Sam: " Please sis I need that sneakers please", he begged.
Julian: "Wait let me think of it...no!", she said with an evil smile.
Sam: "C'mon sis all I did was to say two words", he said.
Julian: "Yea and I warned you to stop but did you?", she asked.
Sam: "I know I was wrong sis but please show me mercy please", he pleaded.
Julian: "ok", she said with a smile.
Jack: "what? Ok?, are you gonna give him his sneakers after all he said?", he asked.
Julian: "Shut up before I start with you", she said to Jack.
Jack: "ok fine, but he called you a...", he said but wasn't able to complete his statement.
Julian: "Jack.....don't try that shit", she warned him making him keep shut.
Julian: "Sam your sneakers are right underneath the dining", she said.
Sam: "Oh thanks Julian", he said running to go collect his sneakers.
Jack: "Sis you're wicked", he said.
Julian: "Like I care what you think", she said.
Jack: "After making me steal it you still went ahead to give him back, like seriously why did you make me steal it before?", he asked.
Julian: "I had plans to return it back to him and by the way it was your idea to steal his sneakers and hide it in the first place", she said raising an eyebrow.
Jack: "Yea I know but at least you shouldn't have given him back today because I already had plans to wear it out tomorrow, well I guess that plan is cancelled", he said leaving Julian and heading to his room.
Julian: "(Laughs) You naughty boy", she said with a smile........to be continue.
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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val joke [Read it]


A man saw a sister and
decided 2 give her a lift in
his car. As the car was moving the man
placed his hand on
the laps of the sister pretending he was looking 4 the gear lever. The sister cast a
glance at him and said; "Matthew
chapter 7, verse 7". The man quickly
removed his hand.
After a short time placed his hands again on the sister. The sister said 2 him
again; "Matthew
chapter 7, verse 7". The
man nervously removed his hand. The
sister reached her
destination and got off the car, cast another glance at the man and said"so you
don't read your bible!" when the man
got home he opened his bible to
Matthew chapter 7, verse7
and it says "ASK AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN". The man shouted; OH!!! I DON FUCK
UP..... Pls Don fuck up on dis val day,


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-12 17:13:01

708 Views




BROKEN SEAL
Episode11

*phone rings*
Me: ooooohhhh who is calling
this early morning? ‘coz Some
people have phone, i can’t
sleep well? Mtcheeeeew.
The caller is Samuel, i guessed
right! If not him nobody would
interupt my sleep like this!!!
*on the phone*
Me: hello?
Samuel: hi frogy!
Me: what!!!
Samuel: just listen to your
voice, a frog’s is far more
smoother.
Me: you woke me up to hear
my voice?
Samuel: you’ar still in bed? Its
8am already!
Me: am not lying on your bed
am i?
Samuel: whatever……uhm this
is black week, which means
you’ar free today, why not
come over lets have fun!!?
Me: black week not fun week,
you’ar supposed to be
mourning by now!
Samuel: don’t keep us waiting!
Me: us?
Samuel: yes ‘us’ i’m not alone,
catcha.
He hung up before i could
reply,.
‘Philippine black week’ is
observed every year, in honor
of our soldiers who died during
a grand war with the
Americans.
Americans are damñ
powerful!!! History has it that
they used robots to fight our
ground soldiers.
Can you imagine that?
Someone would be in the
control room, programming the
robots while real humans drop
like flies.
Wickedness!!!!!!!!!!
I had my usual morning
hygiene before leaving for
samuel’s house.
Am still in possession of his car
and i have no intention of
returning it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had the most boring ride
ever, thanks to the crowded
street.
I arrived Samuel home and was
let into the compound by his
gatekeeper.
Samuel was playing long
tennis with a familiar looking
dude.
They were both clad in white t-
shirts and white shorts, white
oxford sneakers and a tennis
cap.
“hmmmm-hummm” i cleared
my throat to make my presence
known.
Samuel: welcome buddy!
Me: thanks….christian?
Christian: hey bro, longest
time.
Me: exactly, where were you
hiding?
Christian: in a rat hole
(chuckles)
Samuel: (wiping his sweaty
head with a small white towel)
okay guys lets go in!
*in the living room*
Christian is a guy i met here
in Manila, months ago, he’s a
cool, tall and muscular dude.
He is also friendly, reason we
always get along.
Samuel: what can i offer my
hungry guests?
Christian: who told you we’ar
hungry? Snacks would do.
Me: with lot of ice cream.
Samuel went to the kitchen
and came back with some
snacks and cans of ice cream.
We enjoyed ourselves for over
an hour and decided to take
the fun to any nearby bar/
eatery.
*in the compound*
Me: why don’t we take my car?
Samuel: huh? You’ve gotten a
car?
Me: common, do you expect
this baby (pointing) back?
Samuel: thats my best sport
car, especially
‘coz of its blue color.
Me: tell it buh-bye.
Samuel: you can have it, only
on one condition.
Me: lets hear it.
Samuel: you’d let me date
Isabella!
Me: hahahaha, if i ever see you
around her, you won’t live to
tell the story.
Christian: funny dudes, can we
go now?
Me: yup!
Christian: i’d drive, its been
long i set wheels on fire!!!
Samuel: show us what you gat.
I tossed the key to christian,
and we hopped in.
Samuel was at the back seat
while christian and I were in
the front.
Christian was driving crazily! I
love his stunts especially in a
sharp bend.
The tires seem to be flying.
We arrived D & F bar, it looked
more of a night club.
We found ourselves a round
table with three chairs round
it.
Christian and Samuel sat next
to each other while i was
facing them.
We each ordered for pork
pepper soup and bottles of
exotic drinks, we were eating
and chatting at the same time.
Christian: Isaiah, isn’t that
your……..(pointing)
Samuelcut christian short)
what! They are even kissing,
shes such a cheat!!
What are these guys talking
about? I asked myself and
turned to see for myself.
What!!!!!!! I screamed, when
my head interpreted the
message my eyes sent.
|||can you guess who i saw and
why i screamed?|||


>>

gravity [Read it]


Physics Teacher: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?”rnStudent: “Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.”rn


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-03 23:03:26

367 Views




Continues…

Brenden:you are so much better than other girls I
have tasted even cassey.
Me:I hate you. I pray you perish in hell.
Brenden:come on babe don’t tell me you
didn’t enjoy anything
Me:I cause the day I met you. Get out of my house. I
hate you. You b-----d. Leave me alone.
Brenden:you called me a b-----d?
Me:you are even more worse than that. Leave
me
alone. He came to me slapped me the the same way he did
earlier and entered me again widened my kegs
and
entered me again. He banged harder and faster.
He
didnt c-m on time. He continued and soon he came
out of me and c-m on the floor. He stood up and
wore
his clothes ready to leave Brenden:whoa. Now
don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy one
of those two rounds(he checked his watch) oh its 4
am already looks like i used hours in banging
you but
to be honest you are worth being banged the
whole
day. He laughed as he left leaving me on the floor
crying and bleeding. I couldn’t stand so I laid in
the floor and tied my robe to cover my
nakedness. Soon
the day was brightening up gradually. My hair
was very rough. I cried bitterly my phone rang but I
ignored the call as it was far from me. I can
never
Forgive brenden not in this generation. I laid on
the
floor thinking.

To be continued after comments….


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpos escaped from yaba psychiatric,when he reached home he called the receptionist on phone
receptionist:hello who is on the phone
Akpos;is me,pls is there anyone on room 8,ward 1.
Receptionist:hold a minute let me check............no why do you ask.
Akpos;wow i want 2 knw whether i have escaped.




HAPPY NEW MONTH TO ALL MY FANS.WAITING FOR UR COMMENT.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-02 00:29:45

505 Views




CNN News: Rihanna is pregnant with
Drakes baby. "I've kept it a secret as long as I can. But
I think the public have the right to
know", said 29-year-old Rihanna. Rihanna Mabaso of Mamelodi, Pretoria
is pregnant with her long time
boyfriends baby, Drake Nkosi of Durban,
KZN. The pregnancy was confirmed this
morning by her neighbour who spotted
her in a taxi leaving the township with a bulging tummy.
#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-10 10:18:44

262 Views



Joke by Dindy [Read it]


JOKE BY DINDY
Boy:please can I see your pix?
Girl:kk
.
.
Picture sent??
.
.
Picture received??
.
.
Boy:wow you look beautiful....you look so 24....how old are you?
Girl:I am 18
Boy:huh?.....i said your age not your junior sister's age.........lol
#DINDY WROTE THIS=> facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-08-30 21:20:43

426 Views



MARA episode 21 [Read it]


My heart dropped!
How was I going to tell her that this kind of a thing had happened?
I carried the little babe in the shawl and hugged him tightly as tears gathered in my eyes.
I looked at the pastor and our eyes met.
He gave me a questionable look and I nodded
His shoulders dropped as he leaned on the window panes
I shook my head in anguish
My pastor threw his right fist in the air and released air from his mouth forming a whistle out of despair too.
“Is the baby a boy or a girl?” her voice brought me back to life and i looked into her face.
She looked really blue.
The pains of labor and the 14-hour long travail had really sapped her strength.
“It was a boy” i said and she opened her half-slit eyes a bit
“Was?” she asked and I nodded wearily
She faced the pastor
“Was?” she asked him too, dramatically
“Yes” he answered silently
“He’s dead?” she asked and there was silence.
How were we supposed to tell her?
What would it say about our God?
Wont she believe that God had brought her this far to leave her daunted?
I was clueless and my heart raced
She sat up, not mindful of the intravenous line connecting the saline drip into her vein.
“But God could still do this to me?” she asked in a sure tone and I walked to the cot to place the dead baby there
I looked at my pastor who tried to hold her but she retreated.
“I promised that I was going to serve him didn’t I? I did promise! So why all these? why am I in a pool of bitterness again? why?” she cried, tears streaming down her face.
“Hmmm….It is well o” I exclaimed as was my usual habit.
She looked at me somewhat fiercely and shook her head.
In a twinkling of an eye, she caught my hands and squeezed it till life was no more felt in it.
“How do you feel? How does your hand feel?” she cried out.
I understood her frustration and tears could only flow down my face
“I paused blood flow in y our hand for a few seconds. See how white your hand is now. see how lifeless it were . See how dead you feel in here. That’s exactly how I feel now Miss Doctor!” she said somewhat rashly.
I nodded quietly as tears flowed down my face
Of course I understood her
Her youthful age hadn’t been rosy;
The death of one of her first twins had been worse on her
The insanity of her husband and the sudden realization that he had been fetish all along had been the worst of all.
Now, the pregnancy she nursed for months in pains, shame, regret, hunger and all had died again- immediately after birth!
“Dear Mrs. Olowo…” Pastor was saying when she raised her hand defiantly as she let go of my hand.
“Don’t call me that! Not now, not ever! I had rather remained Olosi- a totally poverty-stricken woman than to be called Olowo when the reverse is the case for me. Not anymore!” she said, almost screaming.
Her voice struggled to escape her vocal cords because she was really in pains beneath her
Her pelvic was tight at first as she labored, so that was the first challenge we faced
Eventually when the pelvic would give way a bit again, there was a big tear which we had to sow
Definitely, she was in pain!
“All things work together for good to them …” I started quoting when she slapped the bed hard
“Stop that MA!” she exclaimed, stressing the MA to the extent that my heart jumped into my mouth.
I looked at the pastor who had sat down at the feet of the bed, his head buried in his hands.
“Madam, the baby would have died anyways” I said and she looked at me questionably.
I had to explain further
“He wouldn’t have survived for a long time. he would have died after a few days. his survival would have been hell for you. it would have been really brutally painful for him. no wonder God took him before the problems started unfolding” i quickly rushed my words before she could stop me.
She looked at me instantly, tears strolling down her face
“Ehn?” she muttered
I sat beside her and held her shoulders as I patted and rubbed them.
“The baby had a very poor bone formation and it is due to calcium and iron deficiency of the mother”
“Ehn?” she muttered again.
I nodded
“He has a very big hole in his small heart and I tell you that it would have been costly to maintain it.”
Her eyes widened
“Hole in the heart?” she asked to be sure and I nodded.
She shrugged from my hold and stood up abruptly
The pastor looked up, his eyes red.
Glory removed the canullar and I stood up so shocked.
“Why…” I was saying when the pastor held my shoulders and i sat down.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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The truth is, sex doesn’t mean that much to me now.

-Lana TurnerRelated

Akpors and his girlfriend were having a discussion one day,
when the girl suddenly had an idea…
GIRL: Baby, if I was drowning in the river with my 9 year
old sister (only sister) and you stand a chance of saving just
one of us, Who will you save?
Akpors: You of course dear.
GIRL: What! And you’ll just let my only sister die?
Akpors: Okay… I’ll save your baby sister.
GIRL: So you’ll just let me die, after all these years?
Akpors: Calm down baby, but you said if I could save only
one person. (he thinks for a while…) Okay, I’ll just dive into
the river, drown myself too, and we all die as one.
GIRL: So you’ll just let me and my sister die in the river!
Akpors: (Now angry) That’s enough! What’s all this? Ain’t
you concerned about me too? I just said I’m going to die in
that river too?
ONE WORD FOR AKPORS THIS TIME?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-07 16:53:13

590 Views




I was taken back to the prison, some of the wardens
were happy with me that at least there was still a little
bit of hope. Lawyer and my dad visited me the
following day, i couldn’t hold my joy when i saw them
in the visitors room Me: Thank you so much Lawyer, thanks for everything Lawyer: You are welcome….we are here to ask you
some things Me: okay sir… Lawyer: Who is Simbiat? Me: She was the lady from the kidnappers den….i sent
her to you with Biola’s phone Lawyer: well, it was her coming that actually help the
case Dad: we fixed Biola’s phone, i searched through her
phone thoroughly and found some incriminating
documents that led to the new lead Lawyer: yes..that was the situation Me: Who was the person arrested by the police? Lawyer: His name was Emmanuel Me: Emmanuel? Tall….dark? Dad: You know him too…. Me: yes of course, he used to be Biola’s neighbour in
Ajao estate, we used to be a bit close Lawyer: Well, it seems he has something together with
Biola Me: something like what? Lawyer: like they are dating… Me:Lailai..that is impossible Lawyer: Well, not only dating but having sex together
to the fact that Biola was pregnant for him Me: pregnant for him? When? How? Lawyer: Well, from their whatsapp chat from when we
see it from the beginning till that day that she died,
nude pictures shared by them, the chat shows they
have been having sex together not just once or twice,
she was pregnant as at that day, Emma was always
threatening her in other to have sex with her Me: I can’t believe this Dad: you better believe, i told you that i was not in
total support of your marriage to the lady again Lawyer: well, her call log for that day shows that they
talked to each other more than 3 times that very day,
their chat shows him telling her he will be coming to
your house and Biola pleading to him not to come Me: This is serious…… Lawyer: Well, have gotten the full script of their
conversation from the service provider too, all we are
waiting is for the court to give us trial date Dad: am trying to talk to people so that the case can be
fast track, we just have to continue praying for God to
complete what he started “we heard people shouting from outside” Lawyer: Why the noise? What is happening outside? Me: They have brought new inmate here….we always
pray to God that the people they will bring should be
influential people Lawyer: we just have to start preparing our case….. Me: God will guide us true….thank you so much Lawyer My Dad tip the warden that was with us as usual as
they left the place, i have been removed from the
convicted trial cell to those of awaiting trial, that was
based on the last judgement and not that alone but
based on the fact that my people are a bit good to the
warden. i headed to my cell after my Dad left and it was a big surprise the sight of our new visitor.




NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpos and Joba were caught in a Northern african
country, sharing a smuggled
barrel of beer.
They were arrested and taken to the Sheik's palace for
questioning and judgment.
Joba lied that Akpos smuggled and forced him to drink
the beer!
Both were initially given a death sentence but, as it
was a national holiday, the
Sheik decided they should be released after some
lashes of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik
said, "It's my first wife's
birthday today and she asked me to allow each of you 2
wishes before your
whipping, but you cannot wish not to be whipped!"
Joba thought for a second then said: "Please tie two
pillows to my back before
whipping."
And my second wish is that you flog me only 20 strokes
of the whip.
He was whipped, and luckily for him, the pillows helped
to make the pain of the
whip lesser.
Akpos saw this; thought for a second, then said: "Thank
you, most royal and
merciful highness for the wishes.
My first wish is to receive 100
lashes with the strongest, toughest whip available.
Joba laughed and thought Akpos was a fool...
The Sheik replied with a puzzled look on his face," and
your second wish?"
Akpos replied "Tie joba to my back!"
Lol!! JOBA FAINTED


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-08 23:39:14

803 Views




Drinking - Deleted
Partying - Deleted
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Imagine!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-15 13:17:54

175 Views



THE LITTLE BOY [Read it]


I met one small boy crying with two ten-ten naira notes in his hand! I asked him why he was crying?
" He said, the mother sent him to by 10 naira sugar and 10naira cowbell....But him don forget which of the 10naira be for sugar and which one be for cowbell. " .
I guess that boy is from ur village . hahahaha


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-05 21:26:16

351 Views




A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you've made women so beautiful?
"God replies: "So you can love them, my child."
"Fine, but my Lord, why you've made them so stupid?"
"So that they can love you back, my child...!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-31 11:42:46

623 Views




Rajanikanth did his KG from seven different places..
Today those places are known as IITs.Related
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