Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Jyotish Ladki Ka Haath Dekh Ke Bola.



Jyotish: “Bachhi Tum Bahut Chudwaaogi”



Ladki: “Bhonsdi Ke Chudwa To Main 5 Saal Se Rahi Hoon, Ye Bataa Pakdi To Nahi Jaaungi“Related

Loretta obeyed at once.

‘Do you by any chance imply that—’

Loretta nodded readily. ‘Yes, Prof,’ she cut in. She drew Nnanna a little closer. ‘We had him that night.’

For long, Professor Ilonna’s eyes remained on the woman, then his gaze shifted to the boy with her.

But, much to Loretta’s surprise, he started to smile instead.

‘Loretta,’ he called, ‘that is your name, right?’

‘Yes, Prof,’ Loretta said, nodding. ‘That is it.’

‘You claim he is my son?’

‘He is yours, Prof,’ Loretta said. She gripped Nnanna’s hand a little tighter. ‘Look at him, look closely. He is yours.’

The amused expression on Professor Ilonna’s face remained intact. ‘Oh dear,’ he said, ‘I have a doctorate in Developmental Genetics, do you really think you can pin a baby on me?’

Confusion flickered in Loretta’s eyes. ‘What do you mean, Prof?’

‘The same week I discovered my dear wife had connived with her friend to deceive me, I took samples of every little infant in this house and had them tested.’

He turned his eyes to Nnanna again. ‘Only one passed the test, and sadly it is not him.’

Loretta gaped at the old man, too shocked to utter a word.

‘Take him back,’ Prof said. ‘Take him to his real father. I’m sure he’d be glad to meet him.’

Loretta shook her head, desperation in her eyes now. ‘No, Prof,’ she said. ‘Take him please. Take him as yours. His real father is dead, take him. You are old and ailing already. You need an heir. Make him your heir. Take him.’

‘I already have an heir.’

‘Adaeze is only a woman. She will get married and leave.’

‘I know that before I gave her everything I own in my will.’

‘But she is never coming back to you!’

‘What do you mean by that?’

‘They hate you now, Prof. Everybody hates you. Nothing you say or do will make her come back to you again.’

Professor Ilonna’s face changed to very mean. ‘Lady, leave my home and take your bastard son along with you!’

Loretta stood there still. ‘Prof?’

‘I said leave!’

Gritting her teeth for a moment, she picked the knife in the plate on the table and thrust it into the base of Professor Ilonna’s neck.

The old man let out a weak groan of pain and fell back to the chair.

Loretta dropped the blood-stained knife at once.

Nnanna’s lips burst open in shock. ‘What did you just do?’ he said.

‘Shut up!’ Loretta barked at him. ‘He couldn’t live with his guilt and he stabbed himself. That is the story everyone must hear!’

But just behind the wall, a shaking and open-mouthed Ese tiptoed away.

In her room, she took her phone to make a call.

Her fingers shook uncontrollably as she dialled the numbers.

Just as she was about sending the number off, the door of the room burst open and the startled maid dropped the phone.

Loretta grabbed her and pushed her to the bed, her fingers firmly clamping her neck, eager to cut off the last drop of air.

Ese’s struggle was already subsiding when something slammed into Loretta’s head and she fell away, still on the floor.

Near her, Nnanna dropped the empty wine bottle he’d struck her head with and helped Ese up.

For many weeks to come, the round maid would still remember that day and feel her heart jump.

***

Eight years later…

Adaeze closed the laptop on her lap and took off her glasses.

‘Mummy,’ the little girl beside her called, ‘have you found a title for the book yet?’

Adaeze turned to her child with a little smile. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I will call it Entangled.’

Little Adannaya nodded. ‘Will you tell people that it is the story about us now?’

‘No, my dear,’ Adaeze said. ‘I won’t.’

The girl nodded again. ‘Mummy, is it true that I look just like Grandpa?’

‘Who told you that?’

‘Daddy. He touched my nose and said my nose is just like Grandpa’s own. He said yours is like that too.’

‘Yes,’ Adaeze said, ‘our noses look just like Grandpa’s.’

‘Mummy, tell me something else about Grandpa.’

Adaeze turned and steadied her eyes into the air now.

For long, she remained mute.

‘Mummy?’ her little girl called.

She took a deep breath and turned to her. ‘Grandpa is a very good man,’ she said. ‘He is kind, he is honest, but he is not a perfect man.’

The little girl stared at her mother. The resemblance between the two was striking, only that Adannaya looked a bit lighter than her mother—the brown skin of her father.

Adaeze carried her laptop and dropped it on the couch beside her. ‘Come,’ she said.

She took Adanna’s hand and they stood. ‘Your Daddy will soon be back, let’s go into the kitchen and see what your grandmothers are making.’

‘Mummy, will you tell Grandma Angie that she doesn’t know how to cook now?’

‘Ssh!’ Adaeze hushed her daughter. ‘What is the first rule of grandma gossips?’

‘Don’t say it when grandma is around!’

Adaeze smiled. ‘Good girl. Now let’s go into the kitchen and tell grandma that she is a wonderful cook once again.’

‘Okay, Mummy!’

Adaeze touched something in her little girl’s hair. ‘Ada, who gave you a hairpin?’ she asked her.

‘It’s Grandma Maggie.’

‘Okay.’

…The END


Thank you all for reading. Love u guys

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akpors went to a party with his girlfriend after he had consumed five bottles of beer he slept off leaving his hand in his girlfriend pant. after some hours he woke up and start shouting "were is my penis" "were is my penis" then his girlfriend said to him in low tone "shut up you hand is in my pant"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-08 14:59:59

491 Views




The following conversation happened between Mr.Akpors and a lady sitting next to him at a table in a hotel; Akpors: hello madam? Lady: what is it? Akpors: sorry madam , justwanted to ask what the time is on your watch? Lady: ehee …now you think my watch is used as a public clock huh? Go away and stop wasting my time Akpors: but madam Lady: shut up!!! Akpors takes out his Apple iphone and makes a call Akpors: hello John I just settled from Washington D.C can you please tell me what time it is right now so that I set my clock to the local time since it still reads American time? *she listens* Ok, thank you and today don’t forget to come for the galaxy tablet that you requested * she listens*
Since my girl is still in America bring me a beautiful girl to spend my money with tonight Ok, bye Lady: sir the time is …. Akpors: shut up !!!!!
#?BOLLY_SMART? ?? ? ? ? ? ??™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-12 10:17:46

344 Views




Mum:how did it go?
Me:bad,he loves someone
Mum:so?
Me:he doesn't want me
Mum:and what makes you a woman,seduce him
Me:mum
Mum:do what you can to get him

Me: eva why does mum hates me
Eva:you can call dad
Me:i won't
Eva:why
Me:no he must be busy
Eva:so what gon do
Me:mum will kill me i don't marry him
Phone rings
Me:helo
Mrs Dowins:i heard what hapen
Me:am also not intetested in this marriage
Mrs Dowins:sweethrt i understand
mek
Mrs Dowins:meet me @home by 2pm

Mrs Dowins:you see your father & my husband are business partners
Me:so
Mrs Dowins:the only way for their friendship will continue
Me:by setting a compulsory marriage
Mrs Dowins;Gerald likes you
me:realy?
Mrs Dowins:yes
Me:but he loves someone
Mrs Dowins:nikky
me:what?
Mrs Dowins:yes
Gerald:what the f**k are you doing here
Me:i came to see your mum
Gerald:get out
Mrs Dowins:stop it son
Gerald:mum
Mrs Dowins:ur wedding is in 3months time so get use to her
In chorus what??
Gerald:but i love niky
Me:am out of here
Gerald:and talk sense to your parent


>>

I jumped out of the bed with all the strength my legs
could muster and stared at Alhaji’s lifeless body.
Fear gripped me as I didn’t know what to do.
Alhaji lay still on the bed with a sombre expression on
his face like he was sleeping.
The aphrodisiac he had taken to enhance his performance
must have caused him a heart attack but then who
would believe me?
I wasn’t a doctor and had no background knowledge in
medicine but then common sense was enough for me to
reach my conclusion.
The reality and fear surrounding the fact that the hotel
management could charge me for murder added to my
trepidation.
I had to act fast and smart.
With trembling limbs, I hurriedly wore my clothes, ran
into the bathroom, splashed water on my face, put on light
make up and opened the door to leave but on second
thought, I decided to delay for sometime before leaving.
I didn’t want the receptionist to suspect that anything
was amiss.
I left the room five minutes later and headed to the
receptionists desk to receive the payment for my service.
“How is Alhaji?” The lady-receptionist asked beaming her
professional smile at me.
“Alhaji is fine o,” I replied struggling to hide my anxiety.
“He’s still sleeping.”
“Hope everything is alright?” She asked looking
suspiciously at me.
“Sure,” I replied with an anxious smile on my lips. “I
came to collect my payment.”
The receptionist opened a drawer in front of her seat
and retrieved some bundles of Naira notes.
She handed 3bundles to me and announced: “that’s 250k.”
“I thought you said the job was 450k?” I asked looking perplexed.
“Yea,” she replied. “The hotel management is entitled to
200k while you take 250.”
I wasn’t in the mood to argue so I took the 250k she gave
me and zoomed out of the hotel as fast as my legs could
carry me before Alhaji’s lifeless body was discovered.

>> Episode 10 -

To change a habit, make a conscious decision, then act out the new behavior.

-Maxwell MaltzRelated

U r thousands of miles away from me, ????

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still I’m watching ur every movement on 3 different channels: Pogo, Cartoon network & Animal planet.

Thnx to mediaRelated

Today, you can choose to be in a good mood or a bad mood. Give yourself permission to be happy every day.

~ Joel OsteenRelated

( that night, Williams is pacing up down two living room, Madea is standing in a corner, her hands on her chest and a worried look on her face.)
Williams: how could you leave her in this house alone Madea? Lara us out of her mind and you know it! You were not supposed to let her out of the house under any circumstance!
Madea: I'm sorry sir, I felt I could leave her alone since she's getting better.
Williams: and who are you to determine whether or not she's getting better? Listen to Madea, if I don't find my daughter, I will have you locked up! Do you understand that?
Madea: y-ye-ye-ye-yes sir.
( Williams continue to pace up and down when the memory of her dead wife come to his head.....

Mrs Williams: hello Darling, how was work today?
Williams: fine my dear, how was your day?
Mrs Williams: fine thank you.
Williams: I can see that from your dressing and smiling. How are my girls doing?
Mrs Williams: they are fine. But am worried about them. They have refused to take baby food and they keep crying at regular intervals. You see that why I insisted that you let them grow up a little before taking them away from their mother.
Williams: I told you I had other choice. My business here was suffering and chioma kept insisting that we travel out for some months.
Mrs Williams: what are we going to do now? What if something happens to these babies?
Williams: nothing will happen to them. i'll seek medical advice from the family doctor tomorrow.
Mrs Williams: and what are we going to tell him?
Williams: don't worry, leave all that to me, just play along with whatever I tell him, he doesn't have to know where we got the babies from, all he has to do is tell us how to feed babies through other means aside from breast milk.
Mrs Williams: are you sure everything will be alright?
Williams: i'm very sure don't worry, you can trust me.....
( he come back to his senses when he saw two police men standing in front of him)......any news?
Police officer: nothing for now sir, we went to the general hospital in search of doctor you said she might have gone to see but we were told she didn't report for work today.
Williams: that can't be possible. I spoke with her last night and she told me she would be on duty today.
Police officer: that's why we think there is something fishy going on. The hospital authorities told us the same thing. We are going to conduct more intensive investigation on the whereabouts of the doctor, check if she used any of her credit cards today, we have reason to believe she might know something about the girl whereabout.
Williams: please, ensure you do all you can to find my daughter and bring her back to me .........
Police officer: we will try our best sir.....we will also need you to come to with this woman here to the station for questioning by ten am tomorrow.
Williams: no problem.
Police officer: we have to take our leave now, there's still more work to be done.
Williams: thank you very much officers....( Williams continue pacing up and down).......where are you Lara? Where on earth are you?







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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what i have [Read it]


Akpos was playing with a little girl,after some times he unzipped his trouser bring out his d**k and show the girl.'see what i have that you don't have'.the girl started crying and ran to her mom.they where playing again tomorrow and Akpos bring it out again.'see what i have that u don't have'.the girl continued playing without crying.Akpos was supprised and asked her.'y are u not crying again 2day'.the girl removed her skirt and point at her pussy,'my mummy said dat i have this and with i can get as many i want that one


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-08 22:27:30

413 Views




Veronica had just gone to sleep when I heard the knock on my door.
I looked at the clock. It was nearly 11 pm. I wondered who that could be. Slipping out of bed, I put on my boxers to go check.
I opened the door to see Shade, the neighbourhood whore standing before me. She was dressed in the clingiest black spaghetti strap dress I had ever seen. Her nipples were perky and poking through the fabric and the dress was so short, her whole thighs were exposed.
"What are you doing here?" I asked her. Shade had always annoyed me and last I heard, she was regularly fucking Sunday, my friend.
"What do you think," she said, nudging me away from the doorway as she stepped in. She went straight for my couch, crossing her legs like she owned the place. Her dress hiked up even further that I could see her naked ass peeking out.
"Shade," I said, hating the fact that she aroused me even though I really did not like her. "I have company, you need to leave."
She looked in the direction of my room. "Really? Well, good thing she's there," she said, pointing towards my bedroom, "and not here."
She stood up and walked slowly and purposefully towards me. "Dammy, we don't have much time, let's do this thing." As she talked, she took both my hands and brought them to the hemline of her dress after which she moved it up, revealing her nude pussy.
Taking one of my hands, she brought it to her completely shaven centre and began to rub. My eyes were on her as my finger slipped inside of her.
"Yes baby, that's it. You know you want me." She was right. I did want her. My cock was achingly hard and I wanted to drive it into her. As if she read my mind, she reached for the waistband of my shorts and pulled down, unleashing my erection.
"As always, your dick amazes me. Wow!" She said, looking at it hungrily. Her dainty hand wrapped around me and I groaned in pleasure mixed with annoyance.
This girl would never leave me alone and there was no way I can stand by my resolve never to see her when she was always popping up and demanding to get fucked.
It was my annoyance at my lack of control that caused me to yank her dress even higher and pushed her towards the couch, turning her around.
She bent over, holding on to the seat and wiggling her hips. I groaned again and she chuckled. "Fuck me. Fuck this pussy like I know you want to."
"Don't be so loud," I said sternly as the tip of my dick found her entrance. I soon began fucking her hard and fast, making sure I rammed into her so deep that she was gasping.
Her pussy clenched tightly around my dick and her ass as jiggled against my groin as I fucked her. I stuck a finger inside her asshole and she moaned, I wiggled around and stuck another finger into the hole.
Her moan became sharper and she turned her face around to tell me, "please, that hurts, please stop," she said. I felt triumphant at this. Something I was doing was getting to her.
I shoved both fingers even deeper into her asshole, getting off on her sharp gasps and groans. I only stopped when she looked like she was about to start crying out loudly. I did not want to piss off Veronica.
I returned to jamming my dick in and out of her until I felt the familiar tightening of my balls and came hard.
She stood up and turned to face me. "You liked that? You liked hurting me, abi?"
I said nothing as I found my shorts and pulled them on. Her eyes followed my actions and she added. "That's good. We will have some fun with that." She had a mischievous smile on her face as she walked out.
What the hell was that bitch up to this time? I thought, as I got into bed beside Veronica and tried to fall asleep.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won’t take it, but somebody always does.

– Bill VaughanRelated

Rev. Reinherd Bonke came to a small villaqe in warri. 15 minutes as he started his preachinq,He noticed that the people are leavinq. He then call on a quy (akpos) to ask y pple are leavinq,He said becoz they don't understand his grammers. He then told him to plz be his interpreter. it qoes thus: RH:as Jesus enter d ship wid His desciples. Akpos:nain bros J enter boat with ein pallies RH:as d ship was qoinq,there was a qreat storm. Akpos:as d boat dey qo,nain yawa kon qas RH:d breeze was blowinq so heavily. Akpos:kasala too kon enter. RH:and d desciples were so scared,and they started callinq master! master! Akpos:nain fear catch Him pallies,they beqin halla Jizuz! Jizuz! RH:Jesus qot up and calm d wind. Akpos:nais Bros J comot for floor con stop d yawa. RH:he then said to His desciples,you pple of little faith. Akpos:nain Bros J luk ein pallies dem eyes,shake ein head,con talk sey UNA FALL MY HAND.    .  .  .  NOTE:hope yu quys understand my abbreviation of RH.its Reinhard Bonke.       #Famous


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-15 00:18:23

484 Views



Ballons [Read it]


little johnny saw his mom get out of the shower and saw her titties he asks mommy what are those she didn't know what to say so she tells him to go ask his dad. well he does and his dad says they are her balloons and when she dies they blow up and send her to heaven, well about a week later uncle Ayolisky came to visit and little johnny walked in his moms room and ran back out to his dad and says dad come quick moms dieing, dad says why u say that little johnny says uncle Ayolisky is blowing up her balloons and she's screaming oh my god I'm cummin.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-16 18:25:05

414 Views




Georgina: all because of that slot of a girl
Alfred: i didn't want to say anything at first but now i see were all this is coming from. you are my childhood friend and i wouldn't see anything that will hurt you and let you go into it. if there is anyone that is faithful to a woman it is no other person but him. with the way you are treating him;you may wake up one morning and find out that you have pushed him away completely and when that happen don't say i didn't warn you (exit Alfred)
Tina: why are you all blaming her?when it is not her fault
Tunde: thank you very much Tina for been part of all this mess. thanks for ruining this day. Tosin i am out of here(exit Tunde/Tosin)
Ayo: you guys should just wait for me
Georgina: if you want to leave fine;you weren't even contributing to this conversation
Tessy: everyone is gone,lets go
Georgina: i am not going anywhere,i am spending the night here
Uche: whatever happen to you take it has your fate. Tessy lets go(exit both)
Georgina: if you all want to leave me then fine;suite yourself,leave
all of you(curtain)

Ann: do you know when i first met you in school back then,you were always being pushed around and people always walk on you but now you are different
Stephanie: and i also remember you and Anita will always say if you let people push you around;you will end up in self pity and regret
Ann: i did but you are.....
Stephanie: it seems that i am overreacting to things now
Ann: no
Stephanie: then what is it
Ann: is just that i have the spirit to always fight back but then i was always able to fight back to those whom i am richer than not those that are richer than me;that is the differences between both of us but you are a fighter,whom never get scared of anyone but i am a coward
Stephanie: you are not a coward because one give what he have. its because you have a fighting spirit that is why
Ann: really

Stephanie: yes;come off it. lets go(enter Desmond)
Desmond: hi Ann
Ann: whats up Desmond?
Desmond: nothing;do you want to go on a date?
Ann: no;i just want to go home. i am so tired
Desmond: alright;i will just go ahead
Stephanie: don't you want to talk to me Desmond?
Desmond: bye Ann(he turn his back)
Stephanie: (she drag his hand)are you going to turn your back against me?fine;i am sorry;i am really sorry;i didn't mean to embarrass you in front of your friends. i won't had talk back at her
Desmond: you just realise that;what you did was wrong(he pull his hand from her)well;will you be able to take all the pains you cause me?even when i thought you were different,you just kept showing me that you are all the same
Stephanie: fine;i admit that i was wrong,i wouldn't have rise my voice at her,i am sorry. i can't bear to see you get mad at me for so long. please forgive me. please
Desmond: you said i should forgive you,right?

Stephanie: yes
Desmond: why should i forgive you?
Stephanie: is because i am your daughter
Desmond: (he smiled)you are crazy. come here(he drag her closer)you are such a naught gil,anyway;i will forgive you. you know i can't bear to see my baby sad
Stephanie: thank you very much

Desmond: but on one condition
Stephanie: which is?
Desmond: that you hug me
Stephanie: what?
Desmond: are you going to do it or not?
Ann: its simple;so she will do it,right Stephanie?
Stephanie: i will(she hug him)i am sorry;please. am i forgiven?
Desmond: you know i can't be mad at my baby. shall we go?so i drop you off
Ann: you know what?if both of you were dating,you will make the best couple

Desmond: don't be ridiculous. shall we
Ann: i know but that is the truth(laughed all)
Desmond: anyway Stephie;i like the way you defended yourself but that doesn't mean i am encouraging you to be rude
Stephanie: yes sir




Desmond sort its differences with his betroth bit he is still not happy;Stephanie decided to stay away from him to avoid more troubles. Desmond confronted her and she told him that she is really avoiding him. he was really mad at himself because he felt he has lost everything

Desmond: is there anyone in this house?
Tessy: hello Desmond
Desmond: hi;how are you?
Tessy: am good
Desmond: where is Gina
Tessy: she is inside (enter Georgina)oh there she comes. i will just inside,take care if you are leaving(to Desmond)
Desmond: thank you(exit Tessy) how are you
Georgina: what are you doing here?
Desmond: i came to talk to you
Georgina: what about?i don't have all the world chance;so state your mission and leave already
Desmond: what is happening to us?
Georgina: are you asking me that question?you are suppose to be asking yourself that,not me
Desmond: fine;lets forget about the our issue in the past. lets face the present and the future
Georgina: if you want us to forget the past then throw all your past away which include Stephanie
Desmond: but she is my friend
Georgina: what kind of a friendship will a boy and a giro have apart from dating that they can not do away with or are you dating her?

Desmond: i am not
Georgina: then stop seeing her
Desmond: lets not start with that
Georgina: its fine by me,if you say can not do that then its over between us. thank you very much for choosing her over me
Desmond: alright fine
Georgina: does it mean you are choosing me over her?
Desmond: i am not choosing anyone because both of you are important to me
Georgina: then get out and leave me alone
Desmond: if that is what you want?i will go but just remember that if ever i was dating Stephie i will not have make her meet you at any point in her life and you think she is that desperate to still keep me?just don't let your pride push me away
Georgina: i don't care if you go away
Desmond: goodbye and this time,it will be for real. if you don't accept me now(he turn to walk away)

Georgina: wait;i am sorry. i really did overreacted,i am sorry
Desmond: is alright;i am also sorry
Georgina: does it mean that we are okay now
Desmond: yes;come here(he hugged her)

Georgina: hello young lady;are you looking for someone that will buy yo food?
Stephanie: just assume that you did not see me and i didn't also
Georgina: why should i when we both know that you have something that is mine
Stephanie: i have none of your possession;so just let me go
Georgina: don't worry i will let you go,on one condition
Stephanie: which is?(Georgina clap her hands and boys walked in)Georgina;what are you doing?what is the meaning of this?
Boy 2: is that you should stay away from her man
Stephanie: (she laughed)you joke;i have nothing to do with Desmond;why can't she understand
Boy 1: shut up;you are not suppose to replied;you are just going to listen. carry on
Boy 2: like as i was saying;you will never be able to walk with this two legs of yours......
Stephanie: who are you to threaten me?Georgina who are this boys?
Boy 1: since you are stubborn i will tell you(he pull up his shirt and show her the gun)so you know who we are
Stephanie: yes sir
Boy 1:good girl(he walked away)
Boy 2: and make sure you don't tell anyone(exit)
Stephanie: yes sir
Georgina: don't mess with me
Stephanie: you will not get away with this
Georgina: then me by guest(she walked away)




READ MORE...




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I was passing-by a joint where i saw
my friend apkors busy enjoying himself,so i decided to come and say
hi to my friend,but to my greatest
surprise i saw apkors busy enjoying
himself with Bread And Gulder.
Atewo 4 apkors pls



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-28 10:16:00

1090 Views




Teacher: If I give you 2 cats and another 2 cats
and another 2 cats, how many cats will you
have?
AKPOS: Seven, Sir.
Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 cats,
and another 2 cats and another 2 cats, how many
will you have?
AKPOS: Seven.
Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I give
you 2apples, and another 2 apples and another 2
apples, howmany will you have?
AKPOS: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and
another 2cats and another 2 cats, how many cats
will you have?
AKPOS: Seven!!!
Angry Teacher: Where did you get ur seven from?
AKPOS: (Angrilly!) Because I already get 1 cat for
House!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-26 18:29:58

655 Views




if you are the girl what will you do?







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-02-15 15:35:44

719 Views




Ladka Aur Ladki Karne Ke Liye Hotel Mein Kamara Book Karwane Pahunche



Ladka: “Bhai Saab, Room Chahiye”



Manager: “Kis Liye?”



Ladka: “Madam Ko Polio Ki Khurak Deni Hai”



Manager: “Magar Ye To 18 Saal Ki Hai”



Ladka: “Inhone Bachpan Mein Dawa Pine Ke Baad Ulti Kardi Thi, Isliye Dawa Niche Se Dalni Padegi“Related

Actions are the seed of fate deeds grow into destiny.

– Harry S TrumanRelated

Please I Want to Ask a Question... Why Do
Nigerians Like Saying Things Twice?? E.g.
Magomago,
CryCry,
FolloFollo,
YamaYama,
PuffPuff,
ChinChin,
Kulikuli,
WakaWaka,
Moimoi,
Jedijedi,
Sharpsharp,
Yoriyori,
Sokisoki,
Gbomogbomo,
Mumu,
Truetrue,
Lielie,
Borrowborrow,
Lailai,
Fearfear,
Touchtouch,
Talktalk,
Holyholy,
Jigijigi,
Jagajaga,
Kiakia,
Mazamaza,
Scatterscatter,
Potopoto,
Kabukabu,
Looklook,
Wuruwuru,
Palapala,
Worryworry.
...#I know u'll send this to somebody:
#CopyCopy... #B-goF #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-08-13 22:12:37

231 Views




1, pray to God so dat u can live
2. Take your bath so dat others can live.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-06 11:28:32

339 Views




Sheela Aunty-Mujhe chodo na.

Boy-nahi,Tum bahut moti ho.

Sheela aunty-Abe Bhosdike, Chicken ka maza Boti me.

Aur

Chut ka maza Moti Me..!Related

It was then i realized the lady has already hanged her night gown and some other cloth on our hanger.
Ismaeel picked her night gown and my towel to her in the bathroom and the lady came out minutes later
Ismaeel: This is Rahman my roommate i always tell you about, This is Amaka my girlfriend Alfa Abdulrahman
Amaka: Good evening Abdulrahman
Me: Evening
I don’t even know what to say at that particular moment, so many things on my mind. “amaka” “girlfriend”, what about Ebun, Angela nko? So definitely what Esther told me then was actually true. I picked up my praying mat and went outside to pray, the prayer was not even coming smooth like that as i couldn’t take what i just saw out of my mind.
I finished praying and the next thought was where am i going to sleep? If am going to sleep in the same room with them, i was seriously hungry at that particular moment, i was forced to go inside the kitchen to pick my bread and butter. Amaka was already on bed and Ismaeel was no where to be found. After so much thought i decided i cant sleep in the same room with them if the worst come then i will go and sleep in Ezekiel’s room. I entered Ezekiel’s room from the kitchen and i saw another lady in his own room with Ismaeel there. He introduced her to me as blessing, definitely Ezekiel’s room was not even an option.
I called Ismaeel to the kitchen to let us talk because time was going already, it was almost 12pm, and he knew from my facial expression that I was seriously angry
Ismaeel: Please am very sorry Abdulrahman, i never knew you will be coming home tonight, what happened, you didn’t go for the Jihad camp again
Me: I didn’t go but what is all these nonsense Ismaeel? Am highly disappointed in you..i never expected this from you wallahi despite you knowing what the quran said about fornication and adultery..definitely this is what you do whenever am not home, house that i assumed is sacred, i didn’t know you have been doing this rubbish in the house and on our bed.
Ismaeel: Am very sorry Abdulrahman, i can explain everything but not today please
Me: what do you have to explain to me..that you have been sleeping with different girls, the fact that you are dating Ebun,you slept with her on this bed, same goes for Angela and this one again..you think i don’t know? I know everything but i doubted it in the first place because i never caught you and i don’t expect it from you but am highly disappointed. You that is an Alfa
Ismaeel: Please i will explain everything to you tomorrow..its late already Abdulrahman
Me: So, where am i going to sleep tonight? I thought i can sleep in Ezekiel’s room before not knowing that you guys planned it together
Ismaeel: we can vacate the bed for you and we will sleep on the floor rahman..please you don’t have to take this thing too far
Me: sleep on that bed? I cant sleep on the bed again lailai…the bed that you have been doing all your nonsense on…dont worry, i will sleep on the floor and leave the house for you tomorrow to enjoy yourselves.
Ismaeel: Am very sorry Abdulrahman
We were still discussing when NEPA struck and took the light, i used the opportunity to spread our praying mat on the floor and Ismaeel gave me one pillow and my duvet which I used in covering myself. Ismaeel settled for the bed with Amaka and it was so disgusting on my mind seeing them like that as they cover themselves up.
I prayed for sleep to come but it didn’t come, there were so many things on my mind at that particular moment, i couldn’t take the picture of her nakedness that i saw out of my mind. After a while i realized i was hearing movement like someone moving on the bed, i remove the duvet from my head and i was dumb founded when i realized that probably they were having sex, i was able to sense a movement going up and down on the bed, i was just there for like 15minutes watching what was happening then suddenly NEPA restored light.
We forgot to put off the light and that was because we were in the kitchen when they took the light. I saw both of them naked, Ismaeel was on top riding her and we all paused the moment the light was on for like 30seconds. I was just staring at them as they starred at me too. Ismaeel quickly jump up to switch off the light while Amaka wrapped herself with the duvet instantly. I was just praying for the night to be over as my mind couldn’t take it. I didn’t know when i later slept off and it was call to prayer by 5am that woke me up.



>>

JOKE PART 27 BY DINDY
Dindy: I love you dear.
Girl: No you don't, you are lying to me.
Dindy: I am not dear, see I will do all I can just to make you happy, I will never in this world cheat on you, you're my life.
:
Girl Looks at Dindy with sexy eyes.
:
Dindy: I LOVE YOU.
:
Girl blushes and smiles.
:
Girl: Ok fine, but do you know the difference between lust and love?.
Dindy: Yes sure I do, what do you take me for?.
Girl: Ok fine, explain what they are.
Dindy: Lust is...
:
Dindy Holds her hands, then she smiles.
:
Dindy: Lust is what i feel for you and love is what I have for party rice!.
:
Girl slaps Dindy and walks away......lol
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 28


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-14 20:32:09

215 Views




A new science teacher walks into the.
classroom, Akpos ask the new teacher "excuse
ma, if u mix omo and klin will it foam?" teacher
responds "Yes of course, why ask such silly
question at the beginning of the. year?, are u
going to pass this class at all?" Akpos laughs
and whispers to the other kids, "such a dump
teacher, how can you get foam. without adding
water, are we going to learn at all from this
teacher?"...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-19 15:35:02

385 Views




A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.


Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.


The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, “Holy crap. That must be my husband!”


So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his
car as fast as he could go.


A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, ‘I AM your husband!’


The woman yelled back, “Yeah, then why were you running?”


And then the fight started…Related

Free Advice For Boys

.

.

.

.

.

Ladki Ki Pic Par Kabhi Mat

Comment Karnaa.. Warna 3 Mahine

Tak Notification Aayenge..!!!:-P XDRelated

Bathing Soap [Read it]


GIRLFRIEND: Honey, please could you buy me my bathing soap when you are coming?


BOYFRIEND: Alright! No problem... But how much is it?


GIRLFRIEND: It's just N15k.


BOYFRIEND: BLOOD OF JESUS!!! Does it wash away sins and sorrows?!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-05 11:20:07

272 Views




A minister would up the services one morning by saying, “Next Sunday I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And in this connection, as a preparation for my discourse, I would like you all to read the seventeenth chapter of Mark.”

On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin, and said, “Now, then, all of you who have done as I requested and
read the seventeenth chapter of Mark, please raise your hands.”

Nearly every hand in the congregation went up.

Then said the preacher, “You are the people I want to talk to. There is no seventeenth chapter of Mark.”Related

A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla up in the tree in his front yard. Not knowing quite what to do, he looks in the yellow pages under “Gorilla Removal Service” and sure enough finds a listing-Harry`s Ape Removal.

So he calls up Harry and about an hour later Harry shows up with all the tools of his trade, a pick-up truck, a pair of handcuffs, a ferociously-trained dog and a shotgun.

Harry then proceeds to explain the removal procedure to the man because he will need help:

“Now, I`m going to climb up in this tree and shake the tree until the gorilla falls out of the tree. The very instant the gorilla hits the ground, this daog is trained to rush up and bite his balls off. This will temporarily immobilize the gorilla allowing you to safely walk up and place the handcuffs on him. I`ll then get him into the truck while he`s still in a daze”.

Harry then begins to climb the tree and the man asks, “Hey what`s the shotgun for?”

“Oh, yes,” says Harry, “occasionally when I shake the tree, the gorilla shakes back, and if I fall, shoot the damn dog!”Related

pussy bet [Read it]


So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at
the beginning of the school year not to
ever make a bet with Johnny unless
she is absolutely sure she will win it.
One day in class, Johnny raises his
hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you
$50 I can guess what color your
underwear is."
She replies, "okay, meet me after class
and we'll settle it." But beforeclass
ends, she goes to the restroom and
removes her panties.
After class is over and the
studentsclear out, Johnny makes his
guess.
"Blue."
"Nope. You got it wrong," she says as
she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't
wearing any underwear.
"Well come with me out to my dads
car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get
you the money." She follows him out.
When they get to the car she informs
his dad that he got the bet wrong and
that she showed Johnny that she
wasn't wearing any underwear.
His dad exclaims: "That mother
fucker! He bet me $100 this morning
that he'd see your pussy before the
end of the day!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-01 11:41:46

302 Views




JOKE (OTHER PEOPLE VS DINDY) BY DINDY (part six).
THE IMPORTANCE OF AN IPHONE 7 TO OTHER PEOPLE;
1........
2..........
3............
4..............
5 You looking f*cking da*n RICH.
THE IMPORTANCE OF AN IPHONE 7 TO DINDY
1).......
2)........
3)..........
4)............
5) YOU GOT ONE KIDNEY LEFT!............. =)) =))
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 7.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-30 23:31:54

152 Views



80 NAIRA LOAN [Read it]


Little Donald was being questioned by
the teacher during an arithmetic lesson. "If you had 100 naira," said the teacher,
"and I asked you for a loan of 80 naira,
how much would you have left?" "100," said Little Donald firmly. "100?" the teacher said, "How do you
get it 100?" "Well," replied Little Donald, "You may
ask for a loan of 80 naira, but that
doesn't mean I will give it to you!"
#?BOLLY_SMART? ?? ? ? ? ? ??™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-25 20:04:03

363 Views




A teacher in ogbomosho asked his students, 1+1= ?.
A student stood up and said 4. An ijebu man passing by
overhead the response, he shook his head and said: "This
APC government will kill us in this country. Everything has
increased, dollar, transport fare, fuel prices, foodstuff,
beer, ...everything. Even 1+1 that used to be 2 has now
gone up to 4.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-16 18:29:02

208 Views



crazy professor [Read it]



A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kind of jokes they all will leave the class as a protest.

Somehow the professor heard about the plan.

During the next lecture, in the beginning of the lecture he said: "In Sweden a prostitute makes $2000 per night."

All the women stood up and started to leave the class. So he shouted after them: "Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn`t take off until the day after tomorrow.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-06 08:19:41

397 Views




Good morning!!!

Did you know life is all about give and take, let's go out their to make an impact, and come back home to ask our self, "Have I achieve anything today?" #Answer is within you#

Have a stress free day ahead


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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A PLUS [Read it]


A college girl was
supposed to write
a short story in
as few words as
possible for her English class and the instructions
were that it had to include Religion,
Sexuality and Mystery. She was the only one who
received an A+ and this is what
she wrote: "Good God, I'm pregnant, I
wonder who did it." Submitted by Curtis


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-31 23:31:37

409 Views



The friends [Read it]


A chicken and a goat was strolling the a reckless driver drive pass and splash them durty water and the chicken look at the goat and say look at how that idiot is driving like a goat and the goat laugh and say no wander they die like chicken.....is me ur boi King Spicy,d ugly spicy.lov u all.







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-02 20:44:50

1359 Views



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