Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Buhari's ministerial list.

1.Dr. Chris Ngige (Anambra);
2. Kayode Fayemi (Ekiti);
3. Rotimi Amaechi (Rivers);
4. Babatunde Fashola (Lagos);
5. Abdurrahman Dambazau (rtd) (Kano);
6. Aisha AlHassan (Taraba);
7. Ogbonaya Onu (Abia);
8. Kemi Adeosun (Ogun);
9. Abubakar Malami SAN (Kebbi);
10. Senator Sirika Hadi (Katsina).
11. Barrister Adebayo Shittu (Oyo);
12. Sulaiman Adamu (Jigawa);
13. Solomon Dalong (Plateau);
14.Ibe Kachikwu (Delta);
15. Osagie Ehanire (Edo);
17. Udoma Udo-Udoma (Akwa Ibom);
18. Ahmed Isa Ibeto (Niger);
19. Ibrahim Jibril;
20. Audu Ogbeh (Benue) and
21. Amina Mohammed (Kaduna).

What do you have to say?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-02 17:44:19

621 Views




An educated woman is seen as a human being with a vagina. An uneducated woman is seen as a vagina with a human being.

~ Mokokoma MokhonoanaRelated

LINDA NARRATES…
I woke up with a start unable to recall
where I was. The room was familiar but I
couldn’t remember how I got there. I
looked round and realised it was a hotel
room.
Then I noticed I was naked and my private
region was dripping wet. The least I could
remember was that I had gone for a night
party with my roommate the night before.
There was enough to eat and drink and
the fun had flown lavishly. Then along
came this middle-aged wealthy-looking
man who came with Stella – my final year
roommate.
I was in 100level while Stella was in her
final year. “Meet Chief Adeboye,” Stella
introduced pointing at the middle-aged
wealthy-looking man. “Chief Adeboye
please meet my wonderful roommate,
Linda.” I stretched out my hand and shook
hands with Chief Adeboye. Chief Adeboye
held unto my hand for some seconds
before dropping it.
“I wish you guys fun,” Stella said and left
immediately. I felt uncomfortable when
Stella left. It was my first time in a night
party and I never foresaw that I was going
to be left alone with a total stranger for
any reason.
But then Chief Adeboye turned out to be a
very nice man from the way he treated me.
He lavished me with attention, showered
me with compliments and treated me like
a queen. Everything went on fine till he
handed me a glass of red wine. I sipped a
mouthful, sipped another and yet another
and another.
Then I started feeling dizzy and that was
all I could remember. The bathroom door
clicked open and Chief Adeboye stepped
out from the bathroom completely naked.
The picture of what had happened
became clear to me. Chief Adeboye must
have drugged me, carried me to his hotel
room and slept with me without my
consent. But then I had no evidence to
support my claim.
His phallus stood erect between his two
legs pointing at me like an aggrieved
snake.

“What did you do to me?” I asked
trembling with fear. Chief Adeboye
ignored my question and climbed unto the
bed.
“My friend, spread your legs!” He ordered
grabbing my knees and yanking them
apart.
I felt sharp pain in my lower belly as Chief
forcefully drove his phallus into my
aggrieved pu$$¥. Back and forth he
moved for some minutes before he began
to groan like a bull on heat as I felt warm,
sticky fluid hit the mouth of my womb.
When he was done, he pushed me aside
and threatened to deal with me if I ever
revealed what happened to anybody. Then
he dressed up, took his car keys and left
without uttering any other word to me.

>> Episode 2 -

Fowl and Goat [Read it]


One day fowl and goat were walking and discussing together on the street, all of a sudden a car drove by with high speed 'Vuum!!!', and fowl immediately shouted ''they are always driving like goats",when goat heared that, he said "they are always dieing like fowl"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-09 23:31:59

799 Views




Telling someone they’re stupid doesn’t make you look very smart.

~ Steve KeatingRelated

Three university guys
dodged exams because
they did not study.
They came up with a
plan, got themselves
dirty using grease, then
went to see the
lecturer .
GUYS: ”Sir we are sorry
we couldn’t make it to
the exam. We attended
a wedding and on our
way back, the car broke
down thus we became
so dirty as u can see”.
The lecturer
understood and gave
them three days to
prepare. After three
days they went to the
lecturer very ready for
the exams because
they had studied.
The lecturer put them
in three separate
classes with only four
(4) questions in the
exam paper;
1. Who and who got
married? (25marks)
2. Where was the
reception held?
(25marks)
3. Where exactly did the
car break down?
(25marks)
4. What type of car
broke down?(25marks)
Marking scheme: your
answers must be the
same.
Good luck guys!!…


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-28 16:27:27

487 Views




Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.

-Polish ProverbRelated

JOKE PART 44 BY DINDY
After the Halloween, a teacher asked some students, on what costume was the most terrifying.
:______
Teacher: Who can tell me the most terrifying costume ever worn on Halloween?.
Students: Aunty I!, aunty I!, aunty I!, aunty!.
Teacher: Mmm, ok James.
James: a vampire costume.
Teacher: That's scary.
Students: Aunty I!, aunty I!, aunty I!, aunty!
Teacher: Mmm, ok Linda.
Linda: a werewolf costume.
Teacher: That's really scary.
Students: Aunty I!, aunty I!, aunty I!, aunty!.
Teacher: kelvin.
Kelvin: A flower costume.
Teacher: [Laughs] but that ain't scary, it's funny.
Students: Aunty I!, aunty I!, aunty I!, aunty!
Teacher: Dindy.
Dindy: A SAMSUNG S7 costume.
Teacher: Jesus!!!!, that is the most terrifying costume ever!!, don't ever say it again!..........:') :')
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 45.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-11-09 22:42:44

171 Views




Laila Ne Majnu Ko Ek Ped Ke Pichhe Dekha Aur Boli.

Laila: “Tum Majnu Ho Na?”

Majnu Bola: “Haan”

Phir Kuch Deir Baad Use Jhadiyo Ke Piche Dekha To Boli.

Laila: “Tum Majnu Ho Na?”

Majnu Bola: “Haan, Main Majnu Hoon”

Phir Kuch Deir Baad Use Diwaar Ke Pichhe Dekha Aur Kaha.

Laila: “Tum Majnu Ho Na?”

Majnu Bola: “Haan-Haan, Kamini Main Majnu Hi Hoon, Tu Mujhe Tatti Karne Degi Ya Nahi“ ????Related

Na only una sabi drink. Abeg make una free me joor








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-13 10:42:43

378 Views




1. The man who flashed to
remind you to call
him back. .
.
2. Your girlfriend you bought
airtime for and
she ends up flashing you to
call her
.
3. The friend you visited and
you perceived
the aroma of Egusi soup from
his kitchen and he is still
telling you that he is hungry
and needs food from you.
.
4. The man who has no
money with
him and has walked for
hours under
the hot sun and ends up
picking N5000 on the ground,
but still refused to enter a
car.
.
5. The man who is receiving
N2 million
a month and finds it difficult
to give GOD N50
.
.6. The person who is
reading this and would
not want to comment



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-25 18:28:49

481 Views




Pappu shirt utar ke balcony me khada ta…!!

1 aadmi – wah Pappu ji kya Mast chest hai..

Pappu – are ye kuch bi nai, teri bhabi ke dekhenga to hil jaaegaRelated

Two law partners hire a new cute, young secretary and a contest arises between them as to who can bed her first, even though they’re both already married.


Eventually one of them scores with her and his partner is quite eager to hear how things went.


“So what did you think?” he asks.


“Ahh,” replies the first lawyer, “my wife is much better.”


Some time goes by, and then the second lawyer goes to bed with the secretary.


“So,” asks the first guy, “what did you think?”


The second guy replies, “You were right.”Related

To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.

~ Federico García LorcaRelated

Naija Police Emergency
Omo, police don upgrade oh, dis na d call center numba 112. There was a robbery in my neighbour's house and I called them... next thing I heard was.
Welcome to Nigeria Police Emergency Center... for English press. 1, for Igbo press 2, for Yoruba press 3. Then I pressed 1... then another voice came up....For Car Accident press 1, for Armed Robbery press 2, for Boko haram please hang up...Den I pressed 2, another voice came up...If they're with knives press 1, pistols press 2, AK 47 press 3, machine guns press 4, bomb press 5, all of the above press 6...Then I checked and saw they were with all of them then I pressed 6... another a voice came up saying...
Hmmmm...! My brother, if your brother dey police u go gree make im come


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-23 23:03:07

888 Views




CONFESSION
EPISODE 5

I entered into a folder in
Buchi’s phone that contained
different types of videos.There
were the popular michael
jackson’s videos as well as
other videos.
I enjoyed the dance steps from
michael jackson.
I also found different movies
on the phone.
“Buchi is really enjoying o.i
wish this phone is mine”i
thought.
I continued exploring the
videos until i saw one video.I
pressed play and i started.It
was a sex video.As i watched
it,my heartbeat increased.It
was very much different from
the sex scenes on movies we
watched at home.This one
showed everything.The boy
and the girl in the video were
unclad.As i watched the video,i
felt some kind of impulse.I later
discovered the phone had
enough of such videos.
While classes were going on,i
was always busy watching
porn movies.Atimes,iused
earphones to watch them and
when i do,i feel more pleasure
than watching it without
volume at all.
I started drifting away from my studies.I never listened to the teacher anymore because i was busy watching bad videos from Buchi’s phone.
One day,i pleaded with Buchi to give me the phone so i could take him home.I actually want to watch the sex videos very well without any disturbance from anybody.But he bluntly refused.He reminded me of how he never allowed anybody touch the phone but he always gave it to me each time i asked for it.
“Its because you are my friend.that is the reason why i do give you my phone in school”he said but i knew it was something more than that.He wouldn’t want me to pay deaf ears to his inceasant whispers during exams.I wonder if he ever read his books at all.
“Please let me take it home only for today”i pleaded again but he refused,saying he might miss an important call.Though we knew nobody would call him.
When i got home that day,my elder siblings were not at home and there was light.I was happy.I sent away my junior siblings to go and play while i switched on the television and V.C.D
I brought out the movie FORBIDDEN FRUIT and slot it in.I enjoyed the movie whenever i was alone.I fastforward the conversation places and stopped it at the place i was expecting.The love scenes.My mothers never interfered into the movies we watched.They had no time.I was enjoying the movie but my joy was short lived when i heard the voice of my elder brother around the compound.I quickly removed the movie and switched off everything.
I felt sad.It was then that the thought of stealing money to buy a phone came into my mind.I needed to own a phone so i can watch any video i wanted to watch at anytime.
That night,i sneaked into my step mother’s room to steal the (meeting) money that was under her care.She was the treasure of her age grade meeting.
I knew what i did was wrong but i already made up my mind to purchase my own phone the following day with the help of buchi.
But i never knew i was making a mistake.

>>

” ‘I have to go,’ I told him. I gradually became conscious but I was still drunk. I don’t know what he gave me to drink.

” ‘Stay, we were just having fun,’ he tried persuading me. He was smiling and pulled me closer. ‘You don’t want to let me kiss you. You soiled my hair, I will forgive you for that, but please kiss me.’ He tilted his head forward. I pushed him back.

” ‘I will kiss you tomorrow night. I will be here,’ I promised him.

“That made him smile. ‘Promise?’

” ‘I promise,’ I repeated. ‘Ernest….’ I laughed hysterically and turned to leave. He caught my hand and pushed me closer to him. He smelt my hair. ‘I will never forget you, Melisa. Don’t fail me.’ He planted a kiss on my forehead. ‘You are beautiful.’

“I nodded and walked out. I still staggered. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I was feeling upset within me and very strange. Then, I felt something rushing out of my stomach and I puked. It was irritating and disgusting. I did that for about five minutes. I got to my car, but I couldn’t open it. It was all very confusing. I was acting like a crazy girl. I was sure it was past midnight, but I still wanted to go home.

“Someone came to me and offered to drive me home. I didn’t say no. He helped me into the can and he got in. My phone rang, he answered it and explained everything to my mum. He to me home. My parents thanked him, paid him money and instructed him never to say a word to anybody.

“They let me sleep that night. The following day, I woke up with a very severe headache. It was as if a bell was ringing in my head. It wasn’t easy to make it stop. I took some pills. I was able to recall all that had happened the previous night. I cried over it and wrote the details down. I regret it so much and felt like killing that Ernest. He hurt me, added to my pain. I felt very stupid. How ironical, I went there with the aim of hurting a guy and I was the one hurt in return. All my life, I’ve lived with that guilt and tried to erase it from my memory, but its still there. I couldn’t trust humans, I became my own world. That’s why I chose this life, to be all by myself. Don’t want to go through any phase of betrayal, hurt and pain all over.” She smiled weakly and looked him in the eye. “That’s what really changed me. My story.”

“Come here,” Jeremy opened his arms and let Purity in. He cuddled her and kissed her hair, forehead and nose. “It must have been really hard to go through all that alone. I’m sorry for all the pains he caused you and your friends turning their backs on you. I’m sorry I kinda misjudged and mistrusted you.”

All the sympathetic words of Jeremy gave her an unusual comfort and calm in her heart. Sharing her secret with him was okay. It felt like a burden had been lifted off her chest. It was really nice. His reaction made her relax more. She didn’t fear that he was going to reveal the secret to any person to hurt her or force her to be him- very unlike his cousin. Jeremy didn’t judge her or condemn her, he felt sorry for her, sorry that she had gone through a lot. It brought her peace. She had thought he wouldn’t understand, he’d hate her, but she feels he loves her more. “Thank you.”

“Darling, you are brave, you are a strong woman. You were able to escape him even when you were drunk, I believe he is after you again and you’ll put him in his place.”

She smiled. “If you support me.”

“Of course, I will.” He could see reasons why she put men out of her life. It was his damn cousin! He felt remorse over the bad things he had thought about her. It was her past and all gone. This was the present and he was gonna do his utmost to protect her from his cousin. She was his and nothing was putting them apart. He had won her full trust and confidence. No woman had ever confided in him as she did and his love for her intensified, he admired her. “No one’s going to hurt you, again. I’ll always be here for you.” He smiled reassuringly.

Purity loved that smile of his as it set her heart on fire. It was warm, filled with calmness and love. Something she never felt for any man. How did Jeremy manage to win her heart? It was always cold and filled with hate towards men. Jeremy broke the walls she had built around it. It would be him and only him. “I appreciate your understanding. Its really comforting to me. Thanks for finding me. I might have done something horrible to myself.” She inhaled deeply, took his right hand and placed her lips on it. “I care about you too.”

To Be Continued....

If you are still with me say "Hiiii"

>>

Akpors was telling his friend what had happen to him wen he was a child
Akpors: do you know i fell down from 5 story building
Ukwapo: Jesus!!!!!!!
Akpors: ask me if i die
Ukwapo: did you die
Akpors: you know that time i was very small so i don't know if i die.

One word for AKpors please







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-27 07:38:00

1348 Views



Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

-Robert BenchleyRelated

Akpos Bicycle [Read it]


Akpors went to the police one day to
make a report about his lost bicycle that
had been missing for a few days after he
thought he heard something suspicious
the night before. The following
conversation took place:
AKPORS: My new bicycle has been stolen!
POLICE: When did you notice?
AKPORS: 2 days ago, at first I thought I
just couldn’t remember where I put it,
but now I’m sure it is a case of theft…my
bicycle was stolen.
POLICE: Why do you say so? Do you have
a suspect?
AKPORS: Yes, my mum and dad.
POLICE: Why do you suspect them?
AKPORS: Well, last night I heard my mum
say, “Make it stand so I can sit on it very
well.” and dad said, “Climb up fast before
it falls.” I then heard mum say, “Push
slowly, don’t hurt me!”
POLICE: (laughing uncontrollably) Go back
home Akpors and look for your bicycle
well, the one your parents were riding is
SENIOR BICYCLE!!!!
One word for Akpors this time around?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-08 10:00:03

249 Views



Confession! [Read it]


A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
“You will understand,” he said, “the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an affair with his boss’s wife. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that, and I had, indeed come to, a fine parish full of understanding and loving people.”
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.
“I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.”Related

Having Monday off is a great opportunity to hate Tuesday!Related

Newton ki Girlfriend :
Aaj me kaisi lag rhi hu ?
Newton : Tan C / Sin C
Gf : What ???

Newton : Tan C
————–
Sin C

SinC / Cos C
= ————————-
SinC

1
= ————–
Cos C

= Sec C

Gf : Wow !.!Related

God slap [Read it]


I attend one church one day and d pastor say pray dat God should give u a slap but me no join dem o na him one broda dey shout lord give me a slap na him dis man come to my front he started shouting lord give me a slap i say no be lord na me sunday he say lord dont tell me to go away After dis broda disturb me i give am gbooooooar he say lord i dey feel u give me three more i say bro no b god na me BOBO he say lord dont tell me to go away i give am a strong slap d intensity of d prayer reduce he con say LORD NA UR HAND B DIS,LORD DAT HAND STRONG O i dont think i need another slap give me d thought of ur presence.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-21 08:48:04

371 Views




What should we do to Akpors this time?- It was October and Warri people asked their new King if the coming dry season was going to be hot or cold.
He had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he could not tell what the dry season was going to be like.
To be on the safe side, he told his people that the dry season was going to be cold and that they should buy sweaters.
But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He called the National TV Weather Report Department on phone
(Akpors took the call) and asked, KING:“Is the coming dry season going to be cold?”.
AKPORS:
“It looks like this dry season is going to be quite cold,”
So, the King told his people to buy even more sweaters in order to be prepared.
A week later, he called the National TV Weather Report Department again. KING:
“Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold dry season?”. Akpors picked up once again and had this to say.
AKPORS:“Yes,” he replied “It’s going to be a very cold dry season.”The King once again ordered his people to buy all the sweaters they could find in the markets and everywhere. Two weeks later, the King called the National TV Weather report department again. KING:“Are you absolutely sure that this coming
dry season is going to be very cold?
AKPORS:“Absolutely,” he replied.
“It is looking more and more like it is going to beone of the coldest dry seasons ever.''
KING:“How can you be so sure”? he asked.
AKPORS: “Warri people are buying sweaters like mad, sweaters have been sold out everywhere.” ONE WORD FOR AKPORS THIS TIME?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-29 15:34:16

564 Views




Akpos just got a new job. On the first
day, he worked till late in the evening
on the computer. The boss was happy
at Akpos' hardworking mentality and
asked him what he was doing until this
time. Akpos replied, "The keyboard alphabets
on the computer were not in order, so I
made it alright."

#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-17 19:03:49

355 Views




A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-22 14:55:36

913 Views




Divorce is still illegal in the Vatican City and the Philippines. You’re not allowed to get a divorce!Related

“goodness me! Mary what are you doing here?” i asked
with a surprised expression,
“you came home with her right?, she’s inside huh?” she
asked like someone under the influence of an evil force, before trying to force her way in but i objected and
blocked her.
“what’s wrong with you huh?, why didn’t you at least
call to inform me that you were coming?” i asked
desperately. She scoffed and bit her lips.
“i called you on phone all night but you failed to answer. You were probably busy with her, now out of
my way, i want to see her” she screamed furiously,
launching at me like a tiger. I stood my ground and
blocked her.
“you are going nowhere besides we had an agreement
remember” i said angrily, “and this is how you are keeping yours” she barked. I
rubbed my face with my palms and scoffed.
“let her in dear. I want to talk to her” i suddenly heard
Chioma say to me from behind. I was extremely
shocked.
“you heard her?, now out of the way” Mary screamed and forced her way into my apartment. I was left
stunned and speechless. I was never prepared for such
encounter.
Chioma smiled politely as Mary walked into the
apartment like an angry landlady. I watched silently, my
heart furiously pounding. “I know a lot about you. I know more than you can ever
imagine. I have never been in support of how he has
been treating you. I have to be sincere, so please calm
down” she addressed Mary with ease, leaving the old
lady extremely stunned and alarmed. Mary froze for a
while and studied her quietly. “and what’s he to you?, how do you get to know much
about me?. Are you also in it just like Jboy huh. I need
not tell you that Jboy was a good friend but a bad
influence. It was unfortunate he ended the way he did
and now you are trying to stick your nose in something
i presume you have little knowledge on. Young girl better run along” she scolded Chioma with intense
anger. The poor girl drew back with fear before quickly
regaining herself.
“don’t disrespect Jboy or use his death to your
advantage unless you are trying to tell me you have a
hand in it. I can’t be scared of a bitter woman” she cried,
“you can assume whatever you want. I have fasted and
prayed ceaselessly for a husband. God answered by
providing Ken, every obstacle that trys to prevent it
from happening will be destroyed by he who answered
my prayers. You can stick your neck and dare me. I have warned you. I can bet my life that i met him before you
did, i have nothing else to say” she warned and turned
to leave while Chioma surprisingly ran after her forcing
me to act fast and prevent her from attacking Mary.
“we are engaged. Our marriage will be coming up
soon” she yelled at Mary who froze for a second, gave us a weird look before leaving my apartment. Chioma
broke into a loud cry as soon as she left.

>>

moon [Read it]


Felix 4get I'm bible for church,reach house begin jack hymnbook


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-28 08:31:04

73 Views





A nursery 1 pupil in a Danfo bus
from school was reciting d day’s
lesson at school; “If my dad is a
cock & my mum is a hen, I’ll b
a
chick!” “If my dad is a lion & my
mum a lioness, I’ll b a cub!” “If
my dad is a king & my mum a
queen,
I’ll be a prince!” D danfo
driver was irritated by d noise nd
told d boy 2 stop bt he didn’t…….
Then the driver shouted, “What if
ur mum na prostitute & ur dad
na armed robber?”……. . D boy
replied, “I’ll be a
danfo driver!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-11 16:26:32

465 Views




Girls, Let Me Teach You People How To Chat:
.
1. Always be appreciative when a guy tries to make you laugh. One of the major chat killer is when you have a low sense of humour, how you response to a joke goes a long way in making the chat interesting. Its so annoying when a guy crack a very funny joke to a girl and all she could reply is "lol" or "smiles".... So annoying.
.
2. One other chat killer is when you lack continuity, its not nice to be using a mono-syllabic mode of chatting. Some girls will be the first to inbox you...for example;
Girl: Hey
Guy: hello how are u?
Girl: fine.
Guy: how was ur day?
Girl: Kul.
Haba...At least have the decency to ask how his own day went na. i.e
Guy: how was ur day?
Girl: Kul, and urs?
If you don't know, that's what keeps a conversation going.
.
3. When someone deliberately exaggerates, please flow along with him, he's just trying to be funny. Don't give a dry response. For example;
Guy: what are you doing now?
Girl: eating
Guy: ok should I come and join you?
Girl: mtchww...me that stays in Lagos, so I should stop eating and wait for you to come from Abuja right? Mumu, he was just joking!
.
4. Please if you know you're busy with something, then don't come online. Stop
replying a message after 9hrs or even days. Some will just leave when the chat is getting interesting without saying bye, they will just leave you waiting for their replies
.
5. Its a conversation and not an interview. Ask questions too. Don't make him to be asking all the questions.
.
6. No where in the Bible or Quran or the constitution that a guy should be the one to always start a chat, learn to also start a conversation too.
.
7. Stop asking for recharge cards through a chat, believe me it makes a chat
BORING.
.
Hope You Got That


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-18 23:33:07

423 Views




Whatever you are, be a good one.

~ Abraham LincolnRelated

MY DAY [Read it]


Allah has done it again.
AL-HAMDULILAH.
AL-HAMDULILAH.
Al-HAMDULILAH ROBIL ALLAMEEN
I thank u for given me
the priviledge to see another year on earth in good health, Allah u are
wonderful.
Happy birthday to Me! I wish myself
many more years of joy, love, laughter,
health and prosperity. I wish myself
strength and wisdom for days to come and success with everything I do today,
and tomorrow! #BOLLY_SMART™®







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-19 01:56:15

547 Views




A FARMER CAUGHT A THEIF STEALING A YAM IN HIS FARM AND AS HE WAS ABOUT TAKING THE THEIF TO THE MARKET SQUARE THE THIEF TOLD THE FARMER THAT HE FORGOT HIS SLIPPERS IN HIS FARM THAT HE WANTS TO GO AND TAKE IT THEN THE FARMER TOLD THE THIEF THAT HE SHOULD GO AND TAKE HIS SLIPPERS AND COME BACK THAT HE IS WAITING FOR HE THEN THE FARMER WAITED,WAITED AND WAITED THEN HE WENT HOME N TOLD HIS ELDER BRODA ABOUT IT AND HIS ELDER BRODA SAID THAT YOU ARE FOOL,IDIOT.......


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-12 21:06:51

478 Views



Funny father [Read it]


When I was small, my daddy bought a brand
new car and drove us to church with it one
sunday.
It was a prophetic service and our pastor
was being used by God that day to deliver
people from poverty.
Suddenly, our pastor looked at my dad and
said, Mr Akpe, God is set to bless you! My
Mummy jumped up and shouted excitedly,
Amen!!!! My daddy was excited too.
The pastor then came closer, placed his hand
on my daddy's head and prayed for him. As
our pastor turned to climb the altar, the spirit
of God told him something. He stopped,
looked at my dad and said, Mr Akpe did you
buy a brand new car last week?
Yes sir! My dad responded with a surprise on
his face. Then our pastor said, God said I
should tell you to sow your car key into my
life.
I was shocked that my dad did not argue
with the pastor, he just put his hand in his
pocket, brought out the car key and gave it to
our pastor.
Chai Chineeekeeee...
After about 5 minutes, my dad stood up,
went outside the church. He didn't even
bothered to wait till the end of the service.
I saw him entering Okada (A bike), going
home.
He must be very worried! I reasoned in utter
fear and confusion.
After a while he returned to church with the
spare key of his car and drove the car back
home.
I was so stunned at what I was seeing, when
I asked him why he acted that way he said,
Son, use your brain, pastor asked for the
key and not the car.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-06 18:19:35

922 Views




This is the phone conversation between Akpos and a
girl he just met earlier in the day:
AKPOS: Hello girl.
GIRL: Hi.
AKPOS: You are really very sexy and beautiful.
GIRL: Thanks.
AKPOS: I really like you baby. I want you to be my
girlfriend.
GIRL: Hmmm. What do you do for a living?
AKPOS: I'm the G.M of First Bank.
GIRL: Wow! Of course I'll be your girlfriend. I've
always dreamt of marrying the General Manager of a
big company Like First Bank.
AKPOS: No, I'm not the General Manager of First Bank.
GIRL: (confused) But you just said you are the G.M of
First Bank?
AKPOS: Yes. I'm their Gate Man.
The girl immediately drops the call.
One word for Akpos?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-02 23:56:07

488 Views




I didn’t know when I slept off in the course of
resting till a very heavy lash of wire landed on my
back and sent me to my feet in agony.
I rose to my feet immediately and soon saw
where the lash of wire was coming from.
My madam stood infront of me looking very mean
and angry.
The time was around 4pm in the evening and I
was supposed to have cleared the dustbin by
then.
“Who are you waiting for to clear the bin?” My
madam asked raising her hand very high to
unleash another lash on me.
Just then the doorbell rang and my madam held
her hand in check.
“Go and see who’s at the door,” she
commanded.
I ran to the door and swung it open.
An old man and woman stood infront of the door.
“Are your people around?” The old man asked.
I kept silent a bit confused of what to answer.
I remembered that there were times when my
madam didn’t like seeing visitors and often
instructed me to tell whom-ever it was that she
wasn’t around.
I was battling with my confusion when madam
entered.
“Ah daddy,” my madam gasped as soon as she
saw them. “Daddy good afternoon, mummy good
afternoon,” she greeted immediately.
“Ah my daughter,” the old man replied. “Good
afternoon nwam.” He added.
“Please come inside,” my madam invited.
I gave way immediately and the old man and
woman entered the house.
“What of your husband?” The woman asked.
“He’s gone to work,” my madam replied.
“And the children?” The woman continued.
“They’re sleeping inside,” my madam replied.
“Adaeze!” She called.
“Yes aunty,” I replied and ran to answer her.
“Go and buy drinks,” she instructed handing some
money to me.
I ran to a nearby shop and bought the drinks
without wasting time.
Then I served it before the guest and went back
into the kitchen.
I then carried the dustbin inside a polythene bag
and went to dispose it.
I went over to my friend’s compound to call her.
Chidimma was a househelp in the neighbouring
compound and we always went together to
dispose our refuse.
We gisted on the way as we went.
Chidimma narrated to me of how ruthless her
madam was. Of how her madam uses the sole of
her high-heel shoe to hit her on the head when
she makes a mistake.
She even revealed to me of how her madam’s
husband sneaks into her room at night to have
carnal knowledge of her without her madam
knowing.
All these weighed down on her and she wanted to
let it off by confiding in me.
I consoled and encouraged her not to lose hope
that things would one day change for the better.
She thanked me profusely for my words of
encouragement without knowing that my own
madam at home was as ruthless as hers if not
more; only that her husband doesn’t sneak into
my room.
Nonetheless I acknowledged her gratitude and
encouraged her not to lose hope.
Then we disposed our refuse and headed home…



Drop your comments below








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The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul.

William B. YeatsRelated
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