Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


A female student goes to a young
professor's office wearing a very short
sexy skirt and a see through blouse. She
glanced down the hall, closed the door
and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this
exam." She leaned closer to him,
revealing the top most of her breast,
flipped back her hair, gazed
meaningfully into his eyes, "I mean,"
she whispered, "I would do anything," He returned her gaze, "Anything?" "Anything." she replied. His voice softened, licking his lips,
"Anything?" "Anything!" She repeated. His voice turned to a whisper. "Would
you, Study HARD?
#BOLLY_SMART™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-04 06:01:12

584 Views



Pet Rooster [Read it]


Old Farmer Went To Town To See A Movie The Ticket
Agent
Asked, "sir, What's That On Your Shoulder?" The Old
Farmer
Said, "that's My Pet Rooster Chucky . Wherever I Go,
Chucky Goes." I Am Sorry Sir," Said The Ticket Agent . "we Can't
Allow
Animals In The Theater." The Old Farmer Went Around The Corner And
Stuffed The Bird Down His Overalls . He Returned To
The Booth, Bought A Ticket And Entered The
Theater . He Sat Down Next To Two Old Widows Named
Mildred And Marge. The Movie Started And The Rooster Began To
Squirm . The Old Farmer Unbuttoned His Fly So
Chucky Could Stick His Head Out And Watch The
Movie . "Marge," Whispered Mildred . "What?" Said Marge "I Think The Guy Next To Me Is A Pervert." "What Makes You Think So?" Asked Marge . "He Undid His Pants And He Has His Thing Out,"
Whispered
Mildred . "Well, Don't Worry A Bout It," Said Marge. " At Our Age We've Seen 'em All" "I Thought So Too," Said Mildred, But This One's Eatin My Popcorn!" #Nairajokes # www.facebook.com/9jastudentforum #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-28 12:49:00

416 Views




The school just employed a new photography teacher;see how it goes.
Master:hello pupils.how are u doneing?
Pupilsreact to the poor english)
master:well you need to know that in photo the english we speak is different.
Pupilspupils bust into laughter)
Master:don't see red face me oh!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-20 20:20:46

500 Views




main bahut roya jab muje pata chala

main 2 subject

me fail ho gya

,

main bahut roya jab

muje pata chala main 2 subject

me fail ho gya

, Par

main bahut hansa jab muje pata chala

mera

dost MASTER 4 subject me fail ho gya

Dukh me hamesha dost hi to kam aata hai HA HA HA HA HA HRelated

Christian dog [Read it]


A man said to a pastor dat his dog is dead,and asked if he could do a funeral service for the dog in his church,the pastor replied,no ,we cannot have a funeral service for an animal in the church.bt there is a new church down the road,maybe they will do it".the man said,"do u think they will accept a donation of $250,000 U.S for the burial service?"pastor exclaimed,"sweet jesus!why didn't u tell me the dog was a christian?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-12 20:36:01

418 Views




Akpos was robbed by armed robbers.

The bag which he was holding was collected from him and the robbers left.

As Akpos was on his way back home he was just laughing.

Ofego saw him and asked; Akpos why are you laughing. What is funny.

Akpos replied; Ofego i was robbed by armed robbers.

Ofego asked; Is that why you are laughing?

Akpos replied; Not just that, they collected my bag.

Ofego said; But Akpos that's not funny.

Akpos
said; Ofego it's funny o. I'm laughing because the bag which i was
holding contain my fresh 'poo' which i wanted to go and throw away. I
guess they helped me.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-22 15:14:49

525 Views




I’ve notice that being with u, I smile a little more often, I anger a little less quickly, the sun shines a little brighter & life is much sweeter. I Luv URelated

In school the next day, people were talking about a cult clash that happened the night before. Although i was 100% sure that no death was recorded, students were saying 4-3, 5-2 blaaablaaa…counting phantom deaths..The school was filled with color flaunting. The different groups were showing each other that they were gallant..
Our new residence was not to be mentioned to anyone, even our movement around campus was restricted to public places. We had just a week to the Election and the fever was spreading like fire…
The campaigns was on full throttle now, only if these guys dancing up and down knew what was happening behind the scenes. Most people didnt even attribute the cult clashes to the elections.
Timi and i had texted all night…He told me how much he loved me and how we should travel to Lome after our exams on holiday. He kept trying to convince me to leave the room and meet him at the passage for tender, love and care. Though it sounded appetizing, i coudnt leave Toun…
Abayomi and Timi came for us after classes, interestingly they were not the only ones…sparrow and Aji were waiting with the Volvo too…Some weeks ago i would have felt trapped…but i was glad with the extra security…i was tempted to call Jafar to just check up on him…but it sounded silly…
Toun declined following us, she said Naetochukwu would be coming for her…and that she would join me in the hotel later..
In the hotel, Abayomi went to his room while Timi followed me to mine…he didnt wait for me to drop my bags before he pounced on me…I thought he wanted a quick kiss but the way he was breathing suggested that he wanted more…I was all sweaty and sticky from class but Timi was having none of that.
Timi : baby i have missed you…
Me : Ahn ahn..you and i have been together na…
Timi : You know what i mean….
Me : tell me na…
Timi : i want to feel the inside of you…
i ran my fingers through his cute face, i couldnt stop marveling on how handsome he looked…
Me : Oya lemme havd my bath first….
Timi : i can join you na…
Me : Shut up…ashewo boy….
He laughed as i left him and undressed to take my bath.. When i finished, Timi was sprawled on the bed, sleeping. Though i was hungry, i decided to wait to Toun before i ate. so i found a free space on the bed and slept too..
It was getting dark when i woke to the sounds of someone knocking the door, Timi was still sleeping. I opened the door to see Toun, her face was blank. I tapped Timi, who stood up and greeted Toun before vacating the room…she didnt even bother replying him.
Me : Toun , whats wrong with you?…
she went into the bathroom without replying. After waiting for about 30 minutes without hearing from her, i entered the bathroom too…
she was beneath the shower crying her eyes out…
Me : Toun talk to me, is it about Eli?
Toun : No…
Me : Talk to me…
Toun : just leave me alone….
i stepped closer, i didnt care that the gown i was on was getting wet…
Me : I am not going anywhere…
Toun : Fine, stay there!
Me : Please Toun…
She turned to me and stared for a while….
Me : You dont have a shower cap on…
Toun : Naetochukwu Fuccked me….
I gasped.
Toun : He fuucked me in his car!…oh i feel so filthy….
i hugged her….her heart was breaking….
Me : Let it be between us…..
Toun : too late for that…..i called Abayomi and told him…I couldnt keep that away from him…
Me : what did he say?
Toun : He hung up….
Me : i am so sorry…
Toun : i just wanted to get back at him….i thought i would
feel better….i dont….i feel like drowning…..
I led her back to the room and ordered Tea and fried plantain for us….i assured her that everything would be alright…
Trying to sleep, i got a call. i intended ignoring the call but with the elections fast approaching, everybody was important…so i picked up..
Me : Hello?
caller : Tanatolo….
]
Me: Eli?
Eli: you no dey your house…hehehehe…Why you dey hide hen you knw say i go find you?
Me : Eli, leave me alone, you and i have no business
Eli : You tell me say you and Abayomi go step down, na me all of una dey use play, ba?
Me : How did you get my number?
Eli : When i finish with una, then i move to Jafar…na una i go use remind everybody who runs this town…
Me : Eli please…
Eli : As it stands now, even if una step down, or lose…them don pay for una blood…hehehehehe…
Me : who?
…he hung up…
I decided to keep the call to myself, no need to add to Toun’s problem. I wondered if Timi was part of the people that could be harmed..then i thought of Jafar and decided it was right to call him..
Jafar : Tana whats good, isnt it really late?
Me : sorry, Eli just called me..
Jafar : How did he get your digits?
Me : i dont know…
Jafar : what did he say?
i told him everything…
Jafar : go back to sleep now, there is nothing to worry about…
Me : Aii, thanks Jafar…
Jafar : cool..
thr next question i asked was very stupid, only God knows how i think sometimes….
Me : are you sleeping alone?
Jafar : eeeerm….why?
I was embarrassed…so i flipped the script…
Me : wanted to know if you were alright…
Jafar : By sleeping alone?
Me : Nevermind na…you sef!
Jafar: Haha ….goodnight Tee…
Me: did you just call me Tee?
Jafar : yes….i hear your friends call you that…you have a prob with that?
Me : Not at all o…it just sounded cool…
my phone cranked, showing there was a call waiting….it was Timi…
Jafar : Sleep well…
Me : wait!
Jafar : what?
Me : You did not tell me if you were sleeping alone…
Jafar : thought we had forgotten about this…
Me : i havent…sooooooooo?
Jafar : Yes i am…
Me : simple answer you cannot say since….
He laughes and hung up…
i answered Timi’s call…
Timi : hmmmm, you phone has turned to business centre…
Me : sorry, was talking to a friend…
Timi : who?
Me : Jafar..
He kept quiet for some seconds….
Timi : i guess he has the right, afterall he is your savior….
He sounded sarcastic…
Me : so how are you, Oluwatimileyin?
Timi : Abayomi is really down, Toun slept with that guy…
Me : Yea..i know…
Timi : its all messed up…they didnt even roll out for long…she don pull pant…
Me : dont talk about Toun like that!
Timi : i am sorry…thus confinement and not being able to hold you even with our close proximity is killing me….
Me : sorry baby….
Timi : Tomorrow you will give me some sugar?
Me : Yeye boy…goodnight jor…
Timi : goodnight wifey…
I tried sleeping that night, but my mind d kept rotating among images of Eli…i was still scared….
The next morning, still sleepy eyed…i quickly showered, Toun was already dressed up and waiting for me…She sounded better though i knew she was in pains..
Abayomi and Timi took us to school, through the ride, Timi and i were the only ones talking..Abayomi didnt even bother greeting Toun…Infront of the mini-campus school gate, a large group of people gathered. I was sure it was National,campaign people saying plenty sweet things, but the closer we got, it was apparent that something in the middle was the centre of attraction. something tragic that made some students put their hands on their head..Timi parked beside the school gate, as he and Abayomi strolled to take a look.. I was curious so i got down i followed them, my heart disadvantage made me have to squeeze myself before i got to a vintage position. I regretted i did..
Lying in a thick pool of blood was Aji…with a bullet hole on his head…and his left hand almost detached with something very sharp…He must have been dead for a while because flies had started perching on him…His right index finger was gone….That was Eli’s signature…He cut’s his victims index finger and put it in his pocket…
At that point…the earth started spinning…
[
To be continued

>>

Loud fart [Read it]


Akpos realized a loud fart in the class.
The teacher decided to make fun of it and said, Akpos! you want to kill us with this your atomic bomb?.
Akpos: No thanks, I don't eat pig meat


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-26 23:57:30

529 Views




A secondary school geography teacher went to drink at a beer parlour after school on Friday. His wife was at home waiting for him to come back as usual. Past 4PM, he's not
yet back, so his wife thought he is staying for evening class. 


8 PM, he's not yet back so the wife became worried and alerted some friends. They all went to the school to find where he was. They called the principal and he said the man left for home immediately after school. This made the wife to become more worried


11pm, they've not found him. They reported to the police who joined in the search. At about 2:30am, they found the man sitting at a corner, awake and not sleeping. They reached to him and asked why he has refused to come home. 


He replied, "You are all bunch of illiterates! You lack the knowledge of Geography... since the earth rotates with everything in it, I decided to sit here and wait for my house."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-22 10:51:36

301 Views




Miranda: who is there?
Knocker:Brenden
Miranda:OMG!(using the bed sheet to cover her nakedness and ran towards the door and opened it)
Brendenh hi how are you doing?
Miranda:I am fine. I have not seen you here around before. So anything?(prete
nding not to know him)
Brenden: oh my bad! My name is brenden and I am looking for Milly.
Miranda:I am miranda. Milly’s friend and roommate but am sorry Milly is not around
Brenden: then do you know where she went to. She didn’t come to class today that’s why I came to check on her
Miranda:she just strolled out
Brendenkay thanks for your time
Miranda:you are welcome. Bye see you around
Brenden:yeah you too(then he left)
She locked the door and turned to see presley with questions written all over his fave
Miranda:what? Didn’t you hear him yourself why that look?
Presley: uh, nothing but brenden actually wants to see Milly what’s going on between them?..
To be continued..


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Holidays make you feel good enough to return to work. And so poor that you’re forced to.Related

Lets shit [Read it]


A man who bed wets went to see a
psychiatrist…
PSYCHIATRIST: Does a dream usually
precede your bed-wetting?
MAN: Yes.
PSYCHIATRIST: Tell me how it happens.
MAN: A little demon appears to me in
my sleep and says, “Hey… Let us pee”.
Then, I wake up to see the bed wet with
my urine.
PSYCHIATRIST: This is what you must
do. If the demon comes tonight and
tells you “let us pee”, just reply him
that you have already peed.
The man left and returned the
following day with tears streaming
down his face.
PSYCHIATRIST: Why are you weeping?
Didn’t my therapy work?
MAN: You have worsened my case!
PSYCHIATRIST: What? How?
MAN: When the demon came, I told
him I’d already peed. Then he said,
“OK, let us sh*t!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-20 10:01:06

276 Views




A guy has a crush on a girl at his work. He is dying to ask her out on a date, but every time he sees her, he gets the biggest erection ever. There is nothing he can do to control it.

After some time, he decides to get her phone number and call her up. This way, he won`t have to see her and won`t get too excited. He ends up asking her out and she says yes.

He figures what he`ll do is tie his penis to his leg so when he sees her it`ll be tied to his leg and she`ll never notice it.

He gets to her house. When he knocks on her door, she answers the door in a sheer teddy.

He kicks her in the face.Related

4 bottle vodka

kaam mera rozka….

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.

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.

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.

In real life :

Mom:- Vella baitha hai mutter hi cheel deRelated

Ria was in her room sulking, still trying to understand the events that happened in the past 24 hours.

"How did I go from being Rahul's bride to nobody? I thought I won, but that bitch did more damage by going away, than being present. If only, I could get my hands on her, I will strangle that bitch and her son, for doing this to me. She snatched victory - Rahul - money - everything, from me, right under my nose, when I thought, I won them all. My plan to take over the Shah business empire failed. I should try to get back in the game." Ria thought, lying on her bed.

"Hey, there you are ..." Vicky stepped into her room and moved towards her bed.

"on't talk to me Vicky. .. I am in a very bad mood." Ria turned her face away from him.

Vicky sat on her bed and putting his arms around her waist pulled her towards him. She tried to resist him, but he managed to pull her close to him, then pushed her hands above her head and kissed her, pushing his tongue inside her mouth. When she resisted, he bent down and bit her breasts. She winced in pain.

"Idiot, don't damage my goods, I still have hopes to get back with Rahul." She shouted at him.

"Honey, things are out of hands. I have some inside information. I came to know, Rahul has put out a big search team to find Ana. I don't think, he is coming back for you." He said, releasing her.

"Really .... Mandy must have forced him to do it."

"No, something has changed. First, I thought, it was a normal setback and he would come back to you soon." Vicky looked at her face to see if she was following his line of thought.

"Wait .. what ? ... what makes you think he won't? Ria got really worried.

"I don't have the full details, but something has changed. As per my sources, initially Rahul asked his staff to delay all marriage arrangements, so I thought, we still had a chance, but latest reports indicate that all marriage arrangements have been cancelled permanently."

"I think it has to do with Ana. We should make sure he never finds her or we should find her before him." Her mind was already busy forming schemes.

"Yes, I already asked my people to track her and our inside sources will inform us, the moment Rahul's people find her. We just need to reach her before he does."

"What if he finds her?"

"Haha ... I don't think, the CEO of Shah group is going to be on streets, searching for a missing servant. He is going to delegate it and wait for them to contact him."

"Very true" Ria replied, kissing Vicky, confident they had a good plan.

Shah Mansion

Rahul prepared a detailed plan, dividing the city into zones and then allocating it resources accordingly, with instructions, to not approach the subject, but inform only him, and keep track of her, until he gets there.

After giving out instructions, he drove to his Central Park apartment, left his car there and started his search on foot.

He criss-crossed every street and visited every business establishment, till it was late in the night, but there was no trace of Ana. He looked at his phone, million times, checking, if he missed any call, from one of the other employees, who were also searching for Ana. In the night, he visited the clubs, to see, if by chance she visited, even though he knew, she would never do such things.

He came back tired, to his apartment and went to bed. He couldn't sleep, Ana's disappointed face, tormented him, all through the night. He couldn't wait for the day to start, so he woke up, as the first rays hit the window and went back into the streets, searching for her.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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IJEOMA: Biodun says I’m ugly,
but then Emeka says I’m
pretty.
What do you think Akpos?
Akpos: I think they’re both
correct, you’re pretty ugly.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-17 09:49:29

510 Views




A cool evening, Akpos was coming back from work.
He was on phone with his girlfriend as he trek towards his house.
He got to a dark corner, A hug, tall man appeared from uncompleted building and block his way.
"When you are done with that useless call, i will like to have that forkin phone." says the man.
It clear to Akpos that he has ran into an armed robber.
Immediately, Akpos changed his discussion with his girlfriend.
"Ehem, Baba shey today is the dead line we gave the thief that stole my ipad.
Just prepare the charm well, i want the person to go mad by tomorrow. Thank you baba." says Akpos and then end the call.
"How may i help you" asked Akpos.
The man says "Sorry sir, forgive me for my bad manners. I thought you where my friend. Meanwhile, check if this ipad is yours".
Akpos collected the ipad and say to the man "Thank your God"



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-23 15:59:02

33029 Views




In 2001, Australia beat American Samoa 31-0 in a World Cup qualification match. It was a world record.Related

Question of the day?

A girl sends her boyfriend who lives in another town a letter which read "I am sorry but i'm in love with a young,cute, adorable, intelligent and handsome guy. So i want us to end our relationship since I no longer love u. Please send my picture back to me. 2 DAYS LATER, The guy sent her an envelope containing 50 different pictures and a letter which read "PlS am sorry but i have forgotten your face so please select ur picture and send the rest back to me".
Now This is my Question: WHICH OF THEM BROKE THErnOTHERS HEART THE MOST?.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-30 18:50:48

1423 Views




Akpos boss gave him an urgent work in the flash drive to finish up at home.
The Boss warned him to come early the next day because he needs to present the work by 8am to enable him win a contract worth of 100 million.
Its 8am and Akpos is not yet in the office.
"Where are you?" asked the boss on phone.
"Oga am on my way" replied Akpos.
8:30 and Akpos is no where to be found.
"Ooooo Where are you nah!" shouted the boss on phone.
"Oga am almost there. just a minuet" ans Akpos.
9am and the mumu Akpos has not still come.
10am Akpos finally surfaced.
The angry boss shouted "What kept you since? In fact, get out! you are fired".
"Ah!, Oga please. its not my fault. i left my house by 7:30 but half way i recalled that i didn't off my TV. so i have to turn back"
"Am not taking that shit. Secretary is already typing your sack later" says the boss
"Jesus!! Oga Please forgive me. Do you know that half way again i remembered that i didn't lock my door. so i turned back again."
"Story for the gods. So where is the flash drive?" asked the boss.
Akpos dipped his hand in his pocket and shouted "Jesuzzzz!!!"
"Don't tell me you forgot the flash drive at home" asked the boss
"Yes I did"
"Am finished!" says the boss as he goes down the floor.
Akpos said "Am with the flash just that i want you to know that there is something worst than me coming late. Please forgive me".

If you are the boss what will you do?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-22 14:37:11

26194 Views



My hope for you [Read it]


2016: Knock! knock!! knock!!!
2015: nah who be dat
2016: na me oo oga 2016
2015: Wetin sup, y u dae find me
2016: I wan cum remind u sumtin
2015: Wetin b dat?
2016: I cum remind u say u go soon pack
2015: and so? I still get pple wen go follow me go nah
2016: I know oo, nah mke I cum tel u say d person wen dey read diz msg nor go dey among, cos e go beta fr am nxt year.
2015: any which way sha, all I go fit do na to obey u cos u na my oga at d top..... So, "u nor go die diz year, u go prosper "
2015: Oga mke sure say u protect diz person nd also tell 2017 n 18 mke dem save guard diz person
2016: Tank u my friend
2015: welcum joor
2015: bye bye!
2016: ok bye- bye!
Davidloaded#


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-31 13:14:33

291 Views




Chhod Diye Wo kaam

JinKe Galat The Anjaam.

.

.

Ab Kuch Din Nek Kaamo Mein Bitayenge,

Or SaAWAN Ke Baad Hi Nayi Ladkiya Ptayenge.

.

.

(“,)

/~ Hat jao.

/\\ Mandir Jane do… ????Related

Harsh Doector [Read it]


A man went to a doctor for help. The following conversation took place: 


MAN: I am not feeling fine. 
DOCTOR: You are suffering from tuberculosis. 
MAN: Are you sure it is tuberculosis? I heard of a doctor that treated a person for tuberculosis but the person died of typhoid. 
DOCTOR: Don't worry, if I treat you of tuberculosis, you will die of tuberculosis not of typhoid.  


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-04 04:44:44

370 Views




Episode 7

*****
it didn't take long before I got home,I met my brother already on his way out dressed good up in a blue polo and black three quarter jeans
me : bro. where are you going to ?..where is mum?
wale : am going out to see one of babe and mum is not yet back from shop.
me : which one of them?
wale : abeg ,wetin be ur own sef
me : I dey pity you o, if you like give them belle
wale : (laughing) if I no give them, u go help me na ( wink)...
when I come back ,u go gist me wetin u and Nicky dey do d oda time
immediately he said that, it got me a bit uncomfortable ...he noticed my changed mood
" are you okay " he asked holding by my shoulder
' yea ' I reply
" got to go bro, we go talk later Nicky 's love " he said going his way
me : ( surprised) what do you mean by that
wale : figure it out yourself
before I could I say anything ,he was already outside the gate
' what does he mean by that,does that he already knows about Nicky's intention' I said to my myself because my brother can be naughty at times.
I went inside ,changed from my uniform to house wear ,ate and slept off.
I woke up around 7 pm in the evening ,I could hear noises from the kitchen which indicated my mum was already back ..I walk to straight to the kitchen where I met my mum
me : Ekaale mummy ( I postrated) ( good evening mum)
my mum : bawo ni omo Mi ( how are you my child )
me : am fine ma ,hw was work today
mum: my dear ,we thank God
( she look around) where is wale your brother
me : ( stammering ) ehm ehm
before I could think anything to say, wale came in looking a bit shock but hid it very well before our mum could notice " good evening mum ' he greeted
" where are you coming from " our mum shouted
wale : kunle ,didn't you tell mum that you were the one that send to isaac's house to borrow his maths textbook for our assignment ( mum faced me backing him)
mum : kunle, is it true?
me : (surprised, looking at brother who was begging me behind our mum to help him out) yes ,its true mum
mum: if dat is so...you guys should go and eat your before it get cold
OK mum we both chorused while she left the kitchen for the bedroom..just after she left the kitchen ,I bounce on my brother pushing him to the ground
' are you mad ' I shouted because I was so angry
he quickly went on his kneels holding my leg , " sorry bro "he apologized quickly
' don't let it repeat itself o ' I said in an authoritative tone ( chai, its good to be in power )
I pulled him up
" Thanks" he said feeling grateful ,never knew my tough brother could be this gentle ' let's go eat ' dragging him to the dining table to eat . after eating we inside our room where we gist and play a bit before going to bed but not without him asking why I wasn't paying attention in class and what did I and Nicky discussed ,I told him I was kind of sleepy that I would tell him about it the next day which he agreed ...in no time we were fast asleep.
The next day,we woke up and prepared early for school. after the morning devotion we went back to our various classes for the day's work .all through our classes I avoided Nicky and avoided her gaze ,I felt a bit sad that I was hurting her but the truth is I don't feel for her just purely friendship with nothing attached ..hw do I go about it without hurting her feelings and I can't date out of pity because I believe relationship shouldn't one sided..all this while I tried talking to Isaac yet he still ignored me.
' isaac what's wrong with ,did I offend you ..why moody ' I asked feeling so confused. " kunle, just let me be " he answered
Mrs Ajumobi came into the class,we greeted her as usual and she started by introducing the topic simultaneous equation ,then she taught and explained their concept and how to solve problem on them...." any questions? "she asked ...' No!!!!' we all chorused.
' good ,since there are no questions, do exercise 3b no. 1 to 5 ..failure to submit 12:30 pm after break will warrant to punishment ' she said while leaving our class


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Episode 2
I finally got to school in such a hurry o...... God not again i forgot my lens (eye lens)
**** The doctor told me if i wanted to see clearly I needed my lenses**** I thought to my self, things can't possibly be worst than it already is...... Before i forget am a high school finalish. I got to my class shocked to see mrs Vera our english teacher already in class. I thought of going back home coz i didnt want to start my day wit trouble but theres this part of me that refused to back down
"Wheew'' like a wind i almost flew in when she turned and yelled my name ''Desire!!!'' what the hell do yu think you're doing?? OMG! I just frozed and watch my own heart sinked. This time all attention was on me, i cud only wish i had shells to crawl into. Mrs Vera in her ever harsh tune ''Congratulation boy just doubled yur punishment, no go back to your sit after my class your going to get what you deserve'' to say i was scared was an understatement.
Everybody was just laughing asusual, i guess am already used to this embarrasment, i heard names like clown, nerd, douchbag etc but those aint new to me, Finished!.. The she devil finished teaching and was ready to sentence me.
Episode 3 'THE SENTENCE'
I was tied to pools stake as usual but this time everyone in my class threw water balls at me, i just stared into an open space feeling angry, hurt, hated, difference i wondered if I had any pride at all
****FLASHBACK****
DEAQ DIARY MUM SAID AM SOON GOING TO BE A MAN LIKE MY DAD I WONDER WHAT MY 1ST YEAR IN HIGH SCHØOL WOULD, WOOOW ITS SO GOING TO BE FUN I THOUGHT TO MYSELF. My week went smooth and i thought my high school would be remarkabably awesome, thought i would rise my shoulders high and say am now a man but as time flew by I got bullied by my classmate who claims am not suppose to be in there school and i found myself gradually becoming an introverted, shy, timid, soft hearted kid wit inferiority complex well i won't fail to mention i was given the name greenville clow**** while the balls were thrown at me i thought about my day in greenville then i admitted to myself i had no pride left in me.
Finally my punishment was oveq, i was really soaked wit water but somehow the pains my heart felt was expressed on my face and i guess it made me funnier coz everyone laughed like they were in movies. I got to the bathrøom to clean myself up, but when i looked into the mirror all i saw was a broken kid i just went to the class grapped my bags and ran home.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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“Don’t bother yourself with too much prayer,” he interrupts me, “you are only reaping the seed you have sown. Just down your wine.”
Rotimi diverts the conversation to family life. He asks after my wife and child. I told him I don’t have any baby yet. He is surprised. He says he had a female kid some months back. He further says that his wife and the new born baby are now in Paris, spending some time with his mother.
I hit the road back as I leave Rotimi’s office. Today would be the last day to drive this trash if Rotimi fulfills his promise to me.
Oh, Titi will be very happy to hear this great news!
First of all, I will open a boutique for her in the heart of the town. After making profit from the business, I will build or buy a mansion in a place like Lekki phase-1 or Dolphin estate. I want Titi to bear my first child in the U.S. Lara has been a nice girl to me. I will send her abroad to conclude her education … Anyway, I shouldn’t start counting my chickens before they are hatched.
I am getting home by past nine in the night. Titi usually returns from shop by 7pm. I notice there are some missing pictures on the wall of the living room. I smile. Titi must have done sanitation in the house today. In the bedroom, the wardrobe top is also scanty. I’m only seeing just two pairs of shoe in Titi’s shoe save. I hang my T-shirt on the hanger after taking off my shoe. I feel like resting, but I think I have to see Titi for the good news. I make my way to the kitchen. She is not there.
“Sweetie, I am back!” I say as I walk towards the shower. I check the shower. Empty.
I do not bother myself again. I lie on the bed to rest a little. Titi must be around; perhaps with our flat mate, Elizabeth. That is the only friend she has in the house.
“Uncle Dele!” Lara’s voice jerk me to consciousness from my drowsiness, “So you are back.”
I sit up sleepily, “Omolara … where is Titilayo?”
Lara’s face glares with puzzlement at my question, “She didn’t tell you she is travelling today?”
“No!” I reply with confusion, “travelling to where?”
Lara shrugs, “I wouldn’t know … I just saw her pack her loads inside a taxi this afternoon. When I asked her whereabouts, she said you have already known the place, and it’s confidential.”
“What! Titi said so?”
“Yes.” Lara nods with a look of surprise on her face, “You mean you don’t know about it?”
I dip my hand into my pocket, “Don’t worry. Let me call her number.”
I dial the number twice. It’s not reachable. I dial it again. I can hear it ring, but no response till it enters voice mail. I redial once more. The phone barely rings this time before I hear her voice from the receiver.
“Hello, Titi where are you?” I say in a calm voice.
The next thing I hear is a laughter – a prolonged one.
“I said where are you?!” My voice thunders this time.
“Don’t kill yourself with hypertension,” She says, “If you want to know where I am, Open your wardrobe and see.”
“Are you kidding me? What does my wardrobe have to do with where you are.”
“Just do as I say. Okay?” She says.
Without a further fuss, I headed straight to the wardrobe.
D nxt episode drops in a jiffy.

Drop Your Comment


>>

villagers [Read it]


"Do u know that there are people in your village who
do not want you to succeed? TEXT "thunder fire dem"
to 33051. SMS cost N100 per thunder


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-19 17:15:15

381 Views





One day, Akpos the fisherman was travelling with a Professor and the following conversation ensued:

Professor: Fisherman, do you know Ecology?
Fisherman Akpos: No
Professor: What about Zoology?
Fisherman Akpos: No
Professor: what of Biology?
Fisherman Akpos: I don’t know.
Professor: (irritated) What on Earth do you know this man your going to die in ignorance.
Two hours later their boat started to sink and the Professor got scared.
Akpos then asked, “do you know swimminology? ”
Professor: No
Fisherman Akpos: What about Escapology from the Riverolog?
Professor: No
Fisherman Akpos: Today, the Crocodiology is going to consume your Headology beacause of your bad Mouthology.




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-18 21:17:15

298 Views




Girl: Tumne mujh mein aisa kya dekha jo tumhe mujhse pyar ho gaya?

Boy: Darling! Abhi kuchh dekha kahan hai? Dekne ke liye hi toh pyar kiya hai!Related

Watching your husband become a father is really sexy and wonderful.

-Cindy CrawfordRelated

It is the mark of great people to treat trifles as trifles and important matters as important.

~ Doris LessingRelated

Church [Read it]


Going to church doesn't make you any more a
Christian than going to garage makes you a car.
Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your
behavior does.
Your words mean nothing if your actions are the
complete opposite. Having true faith in whatever it is you believe must
be shown through actions, believing is only half
the
battle.
Let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your
actions louder than your words, and your faith stronger than your feelings.#HappySuNday #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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My neighbor knocked at their door at midnight. His Wife
shouted from inside the house;
Go back to where you are coming from!
Akpors replied: Open the door or I will throw my body
into the swimming pool!
His Wife shouted; Go ahead and kill yourself, do you
think I care?
Akpors stood near the dark part of the gate and waited
for 2 minutes, he then picked up a big stone and threw it
into the swimming pool. !!!!..Kpaaaaka..!!!!
The Wife heard the sound and opened the door and ran
towards the swimming pool.
Akpors quickly sneaked
into the house and locked the door.
His Wife shouted; Open the door or I will shout!
Akpors shouted back; Shout till all the neighbours wake
up and come here. Then You will tell them where you are
coming from by this time of the night with only pant and
bra.
Describe Akpors in one word.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-14 14:31:32

245 Views



2 of Them [Read it]


She starts out by drawing a p*nis on the
calk board and asks the class, "Does
anyone know what this is?" And little David says, "Yes, my dad has 2
of them!" And the teacher says, "Are you sure
about that?" And little David says, "Yes, he uses a
small skinny one to go to the bathroom
and a big long one to brush the house-
girl's teeth."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-10 07:44:53

318 Views




What`s missing in H__RT?

EA or U?

Pick EA & you`ll get a heart! If u pick U, you`ll get hurt!

I’d rather pick U coz it’s better to get hurt than have a heart without U.Related

MONEY [Read it]


Money has different names!!!
In church is called "offering"
Marriage "brideprice or dowry"
Divorce "alimony"
Wen u owe som1 "debt"
Wen u pay govt "tax"
Court "fines"
Govt worker retire's "pension"
master 2 subordinate "wages"
Boss 2 workers "salary"
Children "maintainance"
NOW THE QUESTION IS WEN A GUY GIVES IT 2 HIS GIRLFRIEND WAT IS IT CALL??


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-20 12:46:34

261 Views



Announcement [Read it]


You can now check your weight on your phone...just dail *111#...den stand on your phone...if you want your real weight...jump on it...Dont thank me,what are friends for


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-24 16:21:08

596 Views




Trouble is :
1- when d person interviewing u @ ur job
interview is d guy u insulted in traffic. 4get d
job!!
2- when u tel ur friend, 'ur papa' nd u see
his/ha dad staring @ u.
3- when a mosquito lands on ur dad's bald
head nd u try 2 kil it wit ur bare hands. U
must provide proof or else...
4- when patience Ebele is your english
teacher jes b4 WAEC. Jes prepare 2 re-write
next year!.....
5- when u update “salary tins” on fb, nd ur
landlord comments “on point”. Bye bye 2 ur
salary!..
6- when u r in a bus nd u throw away
#1000 note instead of gala wrapper...
7- when u r ontop of a bike nd d okada man
is pinging, heaven(or hell) beckons....
8- when u jes finished eatin in an eatery nd
u find out u 4got ur wallet in a taxi. U go
wash plate tire...
9- when Usain Bolt chases u wit cutlass, dnt
bother running, jes beg!...
10- when u gif a begger #500 instead of
#50...
11- when u saw a snake in ur room nd u
went nd locked d door nd Nepa takes lite.
# lobatan!
12- Trouble is when u tel a chemist u want
sm condoms, nd u realize he iz ur pastor.
Omo u go b topic 4 discussion next
Sunday.....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-07 10:20:14

422 Views




Continues..
I opened my eyes I was not in the hospital but somewhere else. The European man contesting for the position of Senate president would not believe his daughter I’d going through all these. Yes, my name is Milly brandez. I am the only child of my parents. U came to Nigeria because of my father’s elections. He was contesting for the position of the senate president. His rivals got my mum killed and he didn’t want to loose me so he sent me to Nigeria instead. He could have sent me to other countries but whites man’s resource would be useful in fishing someone out. Instead he sent me to Nigeria because its a black man’s nation. Nobody would believe I was actually in Nigeria and Nigeria is my mum’s origin. I stayed with my mother’s parents before I entered the university and am facing all these. I am actually an outcast.
As I opened my eyes I found myself in a tastefully satisfying designed room. Then I saw Brenden.
Me: what am I doing here? By the way where am?
Brenden:take it easy. You are in my house. Actually in my room.(Then I noticed I was wearing a white sleeve). I didn’t bother asking as far as I was clothed.
Me:you should have saved your girlfriend and left me alone
Brenden:she is strong. She will be able to survive a slap. You should rest okay?
Me: rest In a make cultist’s house? Hell no! That’s even worse than to get beaten by a female cultist
Brenden:cultist or no cultist that’s for you. I just want us to be friends and that’s all
Just then my phone rang. I was using a blackberry passport.
Me:hello miranda
Miranda: hello Milly where are you? I have searched all over for you and have gone to the p.p for help
Me:I will tell you everything when I get home
Miranda:I am no longer at home. I am with the preston.
Me: I can understand what you went through because of me. I promise to….(she cuts in)
Miranda: stop apologising. It wasn’t your fault. I just went to stay with them because my boyfriend wanted it for me. So tell me, where are you?
Me: I happened to be in Brenden’s house
Miranda:brenden’s what?
Me:I will explain everything later.(then I hung up)
Brenden: don’t tell me you are leaving now
Me:definitely. Thanks for your care.
To be continued..


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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