Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

young portion [Read it]


A couple received a letter from their
daughter who went to
study modern physics overseas, the
letter read:
"My beloved Parents, I miss you so
much and it breaks my
heart to think that by the time I get
back you'll be too old. So
enclosed you'll find a bottle of potion
I have invented. It will
make you young, so when I return
you'll be the same age as
I left you.
NOTE: Please take only a drop"
So they opened the envelope and in
it there is a bottle with a
red potion. the man looked at the
wife and says: "You go
first." (typical of men!)
So the wife takes a drop thereafter,
the husband follows.
Indeed the wife turn five years
younger. Years later the
daughter returns home to find her
mother young and pretty,
carrying a baby on her back. The
mother proceeds to tell her
daughter how the potion worked and
made her look young.
The daughter was delighted and asks
after her dad.
MOTHER: Your father? Hmm, my
child, your father was so
jealous that I was so young and
beautiful so he drank the
whole bottle.
DAUGHTER: What? So where is he?
MOTHER: Hahaha, who do you think
is the baby on my back?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-20 00:45:52

421 Views



SWEET GIRL [Read it]


A man and a girl met on Whatsapp Chat
and this was their conversation... MAN: Hello Sweet Girl! SWEETGIRL: Hi Lover Boy! MAN: Can I know you more please? SWEETGIRL: 19, female, sweet lips,
bootylicious and delicious, live in
Maryland and you? MAN: Hmmmm! I'm in love already. I'm
52, male, 6 pack, big Chest, live in
Maryland too. SWEETGIRL: You're 52? MAN: I'm just so into fresh young
beautiful girls. SWEETGIRL: Do you have a wife? MAN: Yes, but not as sexy as you, I have
a daughter, she is in her bed room with
her friend doing her home work. SWEETGIRL: Then why do you like young
girls? MAN: I love them because they are
beautiful not to mention sexy. SWEETGIRL: I am also into older men
with iPhones, iPads, Cash, Gifts and
driving expensive cars. MAN: I can offer all of that and even
more. SWEETGIRL: I think we should meet. MAN: That would be nice, where do I
pick you up tomorrow with my new
BMW X6 sexy girl? SWEETGIRL: Tomorrow I am going to
school, it won't be possible. MAN: Or maybe over the weekend,
going to school is very important. SWEETGIRL: Let me continue the
homework I'm doing with my friend,
Lucy... I don't want my dad to know
that I have a BlackBerry, he will be mad
at me. MAN: Hey! You said your friend's name is
Lucy? SWEETGIRL: Yes. MAN: Exactly where in Maryland do you
stay? SWEETGIRL: Maryland Estate, House
number 5 and you? MAN: Mercy!!! Is that you?! SWEETGIRL: Dad, is that you?!
#BOLLY_SMART™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-09 22:55:01

356 Views




Me:pls bring it hear...she brought it immediately as if as she ws waitin 4 me 2 say so, dat ws wen i remembered dat i ws yet 2 brush my teeth. She noticed it nd tld me 2 excuse her wlkin 2 wards her rum nd returned with a tooth brush
Mary:d paste is insyd toilet
Mek
wen i ws through wit brushin my mouth, dat ws wen i check wat she prepared, custard with enuf milk and bean cake..akara...wow z lyk she knw my favourite breakfast...i sat down @ d floor nd began 2 devour my food
Me:hav u eaten
Mary:yep
Mek
while i ws eatin she ws lukin @ me bt i pretended as if i did nt c her
Mary:do u knw u ar funny
Me:hw....still munchin my akara
Mary:yesterday nite i ws su***kin u wen u wher sleepin,u were jst moanin until u cum in my mouth
Me:chisos!!! So u were d 1 dat made me 2 hav dat nitemare abi... She started lafin i did nt even knw wen i joined her.wen i finished eatin i took my bath nd infrm her dat i hv 2 start goin 2 my house 2 pick one or 2 tins, she said she wnted 2 follw me i refuse bt she insisted d argument ws becomin hot she ws already angry.
Mek com lets go
Mary:no em no longer goin
Meya pls 4gv me comin ...close 2 wher she ws seatin facin another direction
Mary:i hav 4 given u bt...
Me:bt wat
Mary:kiss me
Me:no p...we kissed 4 a minute she smiled nd went insyd n change her dress
On our way out of d strt we saw samuel.immediately she saw samuel, she hissed nd started wlkin as fast as her legs could cary her bt i stoped
Me:hey sam aw fr na
Sam:ah no dey jawe
Me:wetin apen na
Sam:wetin dey do da gal self
Me:no wory na dat stuf i dey even yarn am nw
Sam:wit exitement...are u sure
Me:yes na all i wnt u 2 do nw is 2 4low us 2 my house we can sort tins out there
Sam: ahahaha i no gt work na i dey jobless mke we dey go shap shap,..
D reason i wnted him 2 com wit us ws bkuz i wnted him 2 help me wit in clearin d compound lol, we followed mary frm behind, wen mary saw her friend their started chatin we passed dem dat wen a tst msg entered my fone
Mary:y z he 4lowin us...i luked bck nd see her lukin @ me
i stood 1 place nd started typin d mugu ws evenin boucin so dat mary will notice him
Me:i wnt him 2 help me in clearin d compoun,all i wnt u is 2 play along....after some Seconds she replied me
Mary:lol is unfair ooooooo!!! I turned bck nd saw her nd her friend diein in laughter, nd i ws lik owebedi ife ifu...
Wen we gt 2 my house, i started pickin up all d nylon i could lay my hands on nd my guy joined me frm ther 2 uprootin sm grasses,den i wnt insyd 2 gt a cutlass dat ws wen mary entered nd stared at me i nearly laughed bt i controled myself
Me:guy tke dis cutlss mk i go dey tlk 2 her first..he gladly received it
sam:guy abeg try 2 day oooo
Me:no p trst me...d guy enter wrk immediately cha! Galz ehn!!!
I nd mary ws watchin him kilin himself under d sun 4rm d transparent glass i even began 2 pity d guy self
Me:dis guy realy lov u oooo
Mary:mtcheew bt i dnt lov him na
Me:y
Mary:i dnt knw, dnt u knw dat wen a gal fall in love wit a guy others wil be lyk trash.
Me:hmmm tel me chuchin, so wu z dis lucky guy
Mary:u ar d 1, had it been u ar nt my cousin, i would hav introduce u 2 my mum as my future husband
Me:dnt wori we can still hav fun
Mary:yea
One tin leads 2 anoda we started kissin nd ended up havin 1 round of hot sex while my guy ws busy kilin himself under d sun...
Datz hw i 4**kd my cousin ooo nd i didnt tke it as anytin, becus chinese pple do mary their siblings nd i use 2 hear many stories of pple impregnatin their sister,4*kn their mother/father nd so on....anyway through my stay @ lag i hv free p**usies Joke ws givin me,my cousin use 2 visit my aunty every sundays only 4 me 2 4uk her if i dnt hv condom she wil gv me money 2 buy, includin jokes friends funmi nd stella i ws also 4**kin dm occationally d most surprising tin ws dat joke ws aware nd she said dat she lov me...she no lov me na my d!ck she love joor..my guy samuel later find out dat i ws usin him, and he request 4 his recharge cards nd his labourer fee d day he wrked 4 me, bt i ws nt moved bkuz i knw him, he would nt wnt any body 2 hear abt it he ws jst doin initial gra gra...anyway i pity 4 him ooo bt wat can i do .

The end






NAIRAJOKES.COM




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A woman went to her
priest with a problem.
“Father, I have two
female parrots, and
they only know how to
say one thing. All they
ever say is, ‘Hi, we’re
prostitutes. Wanna
have some fun?’ ”
“That’s terrible!”
exclaimed the priest.
“But I think I can help.
Bring your two female
parrots over to my
house, and I will put
them with my two
male parrots whom I
taught to pray and read
the Bible. My parrots will
teach your parrots to
stop saying that terrible
phrase, and your female
parrots will learn to
praise and worship.”
The next day, the
woman brought her
female parrots to the
priest’s house. His two
male parrots were
holding rosary beads
and quietly praying in
their cage. The woman
put her two female
parrots in the cage with
the male parrots. The
females said, “Hi, we’re
prostitutes. Wanna
have some fun?”
One male parrot looked
over at the other male
parrot and exclaimed
“Put those beads away,
our prayers have been
answered!”.#B-goF



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-13 19:33:04

966 Views




Desmond: every human body and how they react to different things in their environment are different;which make their health condition different;some are worse while other are more than just that;that why most time doctors always asked their patient question;like how long have they have the symptom?the severity;location as to the part of the body they feel this pain?causes;timing;past medical history?even their family background;in order to know if just illness runs in the family. as a medical doctor one need to be extremely down to earth;in order to reach the heart of the patient and to make her or him feel relax;if he want the patient to complied with him. i need to carry out some test on the patient even when this question are answer to the best of the patient knowledge;that doesn't mean i don't know what to do but it is better to be hundred percent sure of everything;like a lawyer will say;they need real evidence to backup a fact. getting a test make it easier for a doctor;take for instance;everyone knows that pregnancy symptom are mainly;vomiting;weakness;giddiness;high fever but that doesn't mean that someone suffering from malaria can not experience most of these symptom but when a test is being done;you know what to do and how to advice your patient on their health condition because some drugs that are taken by malaria patient cannot be taken by pregnant woman in order to avoid miscarriage and just a patient need special care. so in a nutshell;whenever i have a patient after diagnosing his illness;i will give them advice on how to deal with it;the food to eat and things to abstain from;if he want to stay health
MR Unbelievable: hmm(he step down)
MRS Ophelia: next
Stephanie: Good day sir
MRS Ophelia: how are you?
Stephanie: fine ma
MRS Ophelia: alright;i hope you won't have stage frighten today(Stephanie smiled)she is smiling;that is what i like about her
MR IKE: you are falling in love with her(laughing)alright;so your question is...
MR Unbelievable: as a potential lawyer;what do you think are the element of contract;if one want to have a valid contract?
Stephanie: um..uh....
MR IKE: go on
Stephanie: firstly;a contract is an agreement between two or more parties whom want to be legal bind with the contract and there are element that make a contract valid;they are;offer;acceptance;intention to create a legal relations;consideration;legal capacity;consent;illegal and void contract. an offer can be give to the general public or to a particular group;for a contract to be valid there must be offer and acceptance must take place which means one person making the offer and the another accepting the terms of the contract. an intention to create a legal relations;it shows that both parties do not just want to make a mere words of mouth like a social contract which operate most times between spousal;children and parent but the one that any individual who failed to carry his part of the contract has committed a breach of contract while consideration are sometimes that a person forgo;it can either be for profit or loss and bearing in mind for one to be said to have a contract he must have legal capacity;people that are legal capable are adult;people with sound mind;back then married woman are not capacitated;drunk and infant are not allow to be involve in any contract apart from contract of necessity;in every contract the party consent are needed;if the consent is obtain under duress such a contract is void and null and lastly if a contract is illegal,it is not a contract.
MRS Ophelia: are you done?
Stephanie: if this elements are found in a contract such a contract is valid and binding on both parties(back to Desmond)
Elias: this girl is beautiful;i will make her my girlfriend
John: do you think she will accept
Elias: of cause;i just like her
Desmond: stay away from her
Elias: who are you to tell me what to do?
Desmond: i hold you no explanation
Elias: that means you can't stop me from going to her because i will do anything i like;she is not your business
Desmond: then fine;don't you dare approach her;if you do;i am going to show you that she is my business
Elias: your words are not going to scare;come on(exit Elias/John)
Desmond: we will see then(Stephanie walked to him)rubbish
Stephanie: who are you having an argument with
Desmond: no one of important
Stephanie: if you say so;let just listen because the judges will soon call those who are qualified and disqualified from the next round(judges giving result)
MRS Ophelia: it has been said that in the second round there are going to be those who will qualified to the final round and the final consist of just three people and at the end of tomorrow the winner of the competition will be announced
MR Unbelievable: please you all should come out(all contestant step on the stage)like my friend has said in everything their must be a loser that is while at this junction;i will like to tell you whatever name that is called has been disqualified and you all know what that mean
MR Ike: MISS Melisa Monday from Luke Fort university accounting student and master Nando Mike from Diligent university ;a student of agricultural science. am sorry this is the end of the road for the young brain competition. maybe there we be other competition open to you
Both: thank you
MRS Ophelia: please the rest of you move a little bit close
MR Unbelievable: congratulation to all of you. you make it this far but anyway;this is just the beginning of your success;in the final stage were we get the winner and you all are given the opportunity of knowing the topic we are going to discuss but you are not giving a specific ideal of how it will come out but we are dealing with Nigeria;policies and what you think about its activities
Desmond: yes sir(he replied on behalf of two other contestant)
MR Unbelievable: thank you all and goodbye for today(curtain) (at the house of Desmond;he sat and stared at Stephanie)
Stephanie: it seems everyone is happy but tense too. but it seems you are not but anyway you been dealing with people and this is not your first competition. what do you think those judges will set?even when they give us some tips;i am still scare(she pause for Desmond to comment but no answer from him)whats up with you young man?(she hit him)
Desmond: nothing(he continued staring and she notice he was looking at her)
Stephanie: now what are you looking in my face?is there something wrong with me?
Desmond: what?nothing is wrong with your face
Stephanie: then why are you looking at me,
Desmond: you are sitting in front of me;so what do want me to be looking at?the floor
Stephanie: that is not what i meant;is just that.....(phone ringing)your phone is ringing
Desmond: please keep quiet
Stephanie: i know;you don't have tell (she collected her book and read)
Desmond: hello;how are you?
Georgina: hi;am fine;are you still at the competition

Desmond: no;i am at home. we just finish and the good news is that i made it to the final round
Georgina: i know you will definitely
Desmond: don't be too sure;i have other competitors
Georgina: that reminders me;i learnt that a girl called Stephanie is also there;have you see her are both or are both of you living in the same place;is she bothering you?wait are you falling for her
Desmond: will you stop;which do i answer and anyway don't asked me about any girl;i haven't seen her or hold her hand and please stop asking stupid question (Stephanie rise her head and he look at her and he continued)do you know you don't like it;when i am telling you something nice;when we are in good tense. don't ever answer me dirty question again
Georgina: so you said,'you haven't see her;is she not in the same competition with you(no answer) Desmond;can't you talk?oh you just suddenly lost your speech
Desmond: i haven't lost my speech and don't you start nagging me;am not in the mood for all this rubbish
Georgina: am talking rubbish?don't worry it will soon end
Desmond: what will you do?tell mom that i yell at you or that i am not man enough;go ahead and call her
Georgina: don't worry;is your time used it very well(she end the call)
Desmond: hello!are you still there?it has cut off(he raise his head and his eyes meet Stephanie)what are you looking?
Stephanie: nothing;you are sitting in my front and you don't expect me to me looking at something different from you
Desmond: so does that mean that you are listening to my conversation
Stephanie: am not but i have ears;so i can hear
Desmond: really?but next time lock your ears
Stephanie: i can't because the last time i check it is a privilege to have the sense organ of hearing and i really want to appreciate it;if you don't mine excuse me(she turn to leave and he dragged her back) what? do you want to hit me?(he let her go)
Desmond: am sorry;i didn't mean to hurt you;am really sorry
Stephanie: is okay;i will just go to my room
Desmond: hey girl;you don't have to go;am not a bad person;do you think i am bad?



SEE MORE.....


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fake lie [Read it]


Only fake people say fake lies. If u are truly a
real person, pls try and adjust ur lies into
reality. Pls don't be like me, one faithful
afternoon i was walking round my house,
just randomly walking without extensive
destination i saw something at my backyard,
i used nylon nd picked the stuff up, takin it
closer to my face for clear viewing. A child of
5 years caught me holding the stuff. The
child asked "uncle pls blow that white blom
blom (balloon) that is in ur hands for me
now." I said to the child "what u see is not
ordinary blom blom, it is extraordinary blom
blom." The curious child asked "uncle wat is
de name" trying to confuse the child i said
"what u see is hydrogenetiCpolyethylene
diOc repelleNt soliDizer Ocumulator Matric.
And the content has a higher density than
milk which has a high level of molecular
attraction, believe me child u wouldn't
know." do not laugh but the child told me.
Uncle with everything u told me i took the C-
O-N-D-O-M,from the name given to me and
put it together to get the real answer. Oboi
na so i shake head talk say children of now
adays are not to be trusted oh. Sometimes
lie a type of lie that can really confuse the
type of people u want to confuse.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-28 19:50:18

264 Views




Akpos arrived a hotel room with his just wedded virgin girl.
The wife tells him:
"Honey, I don't know anything about this, can you help me, please?"

I will Honey, replied Akpos, starting from today, we will call your thing the
prison and my thing prisoner, so... lets put the
prisoner in the prison for the first time". After a while Akpos was laying face up on the bed tired, but the girl was delighted and
tells her husband:
"Sweet Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!!!" Akpos not very delighted tells her:
"Lets put him into the prison the second time!!" After a while the wife was very sweet and she tells him:
"!! Honey !!!... .The prisoner is out again!!!" Akpos was so tired but didn't want fool himself, so he responded sluggishly, ok lets throw the third time!!! After a while Akpos was laying on the bed, so exhausted and the
girl says:
"!!! Honey, the prisoner escaped again!!!"
And Akpos answers with his last breath:
"HEY WOMAN!, It's not life imprisonment!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-15 17:10:44

2640 Views




The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imaginations.
A person without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without root.
Know how you stand or else you won't know how you fell.
Friends....... Until you become a good partner, don't go looking for a good partner...! You must meet the requirement of your requirements...


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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job problem [Read it]


Akpos is coming back from work. As he enters the sitting room, his wife asked:

WIFE: Darling! Why are you looking so sad?
AKPOS: Sweetheart, I have a problem at my office.
WIFE: Don't say you have a problem. You should say we have a problem because we are now married.
AKPOS: OK, we have a problem in our office.
WIFE: And what is the problem darling?
AKPOS: Our secretary is pregnant for us.
WIFE: Whaaat!!!

The wife fainted!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-29 08:21:41

158 Views




I picked you up, I took you home, I put My
hands around your waist, I took off you’r top,
then I put my lips on you’r lips. And it’s justa
bottle of coca-cola..#what are you thinking #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-10 10:01:19

1547 Views




A Girl decided to marry again …

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because pics of her last wedding didn’t get enough likes on facebookRelated


The President of Nigeria, his Deputy, Mr Akpos and a former Miss World, Agbani Darego were travelling in a train.

The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it got completely dark. Suddenly there was a kissing sound and then a slap! The train came out of the tunnel. The deputy and Akpos were sitting down looking perplexed. The President was bent over holding his face, which was red from an apparent slap. All of them remained diplomatic and nobody said anything.

The Deputy was thinking; “These men are all crazily after Agbani Darego. The President must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.”

Agbani Darego was thinking: “The President must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Akpos instead and got slapped.”

The President was thinking; &ldquoamn it, Akpos must have tried to kiss Agbani Darego and she thought it was me and slapped me.”

Akpos was thinking; “If this train goes through another tunnel, I would make another kissing sound and slap the President again.”




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-16 14:33:57

414 Views




Eva spent three days with her mother in the
mansion. A separate suite was arranged for
them where everything was provided
adequately, ensuring satisfaction and comfort.
Eva was upset initially that she was not
allowed to leave the mansion. She questioned
why her mother had to be brought in to see
her as that was not the original plan. She got
over it after Shina explained that plans had
changed. The corporation constantly changed
plans and made last minute cancellations just
to throw any tracker off guard. Besides, she
was safer here than anywhere else.
On the third day, Eva explained to her mother
that she would be going on professional
course outside the country. The course would
span three years after which she would set up
her own company. Her mother did not ask too
many questions. She was glad that her
daughter was moving up the corporate ladder.
She admonished Eva to remember her younger
brother and to always check on him from time
to time. As Eva helped her mother pack her
bags, pangs of guilt enveloped her. She knew
she had to tell her mother the truth. But she
knew her mother could not handle it. Besides,
she was afraid of what Sophia would do if she
spilled. The very thought scared her to her
very bones. She shuddered.
“Eva, please seat down. I want to talk to you.”
Eva’s mother said moving on the bed for her
daughter to seat.
“What is the problem mama?” Eva asked
sitting down, concern on her face.
“I know you have been working hard. And I am
very glad that you are doing very well. Your
father would be very pleased with you. Only if
he were alive.” Eva’s mum started. She sobbed
softly wiping her face with the edge of her
wrapper. Eva pulled her mother close, hugging
her.
“It’s ok mummy. We will pull through.” Eva
said, rocking her slowly.
“I know my dear.” Eva’s mum said sniffing and
continued,
“I was at the window area yesterday. I saw a
number of men in black suits and wearing
dark shades. What was happening?”
“Oh, those men. They are the security details
attached to my boss mummy. She came into
town yesterday.” Eva replied.
“Okay my daughter. God will bless her. I have
to thank her before I leave.” Eva’s mum said.
“No problem ma. I will arrange for you to see
her mummy.” Eva said.
Eva got up from the bed and went into the
bathroom, shutting the after her. She left the
shower to run while she sat on the toilet seat.
She put her face in her hands and began to
cry. She hated the fact that she just lied to her
mother. She was sad and scared.
Deep down inside her, she was troubled. She
may never see her mother again.
******************************************
Sophia drove into the gate of The Mansion,
parking the car in the garage where there were
other very expensive cars. She turned off the
ignition. She closed her eyes for a few
seconds and opened them again. She unlocked
the seat belt around her, looking at Bruno. He
held his arm and winced as he unstrapped
himself from the seat.
“I think someone should check that out. It
looks pretty messy” Sophia said.
“No! I am fine. I just need a few stitches. Can
I get first aid in your room?” Bruno asked.
“Yes I do. Let’s go.” Sophia said.
They got out of the car and walked to the
front of Sophia’s wing. As they entered the
house Bruno collapsed on the couch in the
sitting room. He passed out. Sophie shook her
head as she sat in a chair opposite him. She
took off the holsters on both ankles, setting
the guns on the table. She kicked off her flats,
walking barefooted to the bar in the far right
of the sitting room. She poured herself a full
glass of strong vodka and drowned half the
contents. She had not been this shaken in a
very long time. She was renowned for her
ability to keep her emotions in check, and her
clear thoughtfulness in very unpleasant
circumstances. But the emotions were flooding
in now. This was getting too much for her to
bear. She blocked every thought of Marshal
from her head. All she wanted to do was to
get back at whoever killed her only living
relative.
She finished the vodka, looked at the glass
cup for a while then smashed in angrily at the
wall. It broke into a million pieces. The noise
was not even enough to wake Bruno.
She pressed a button by the bar. A young
man dressed in a white shirt and black pants
came in from a side entrance.
“You rang ma.” The lad said.
“Yes Jeff. Clean up that mess over there and
get Emmanuela to attend to that man over
there” She said pointing at Bruno.
The lad nodded and hurried out of the house.
Sophia walked sluggishly to her room and
opened the door.
******************************************
The Colonel dragged his nephew inside the
house. He lifted He looked for the first aid
everywhere and eventually found it in the
store. He took the big box into the sitting
room where Ahmed lay, groaning and
breathing softly. He searched the first aid box
and did not really find what he was looking
for. He had to make do with was available. He
got out some disinfectant and a towel. He
sterilized a pick-scissors with warm water and
the disinfectant. He dabbed the blood off
Ahmed’s wound, cleaning it and getting it
ready to be closed. Ahmed winced.
“Steady boy. You are lucky son. The bullet
grazed past your flesh. You quite some
amount of blood. But you will be fine.” The
Colonel said,
“Did we get them uncle?” Ahmed asked
The Colonel kept quiet. He concentrated on
bandaging the wound.
“I think we did. But we were outnumbered. So
I had to retreat.” The Colonel said.
“I am sorry Uncle. I should have listened to
you.” Ahmed said, very sober.
“It’s okay. I will give you 15 minutes to get
yourself together. We have to leave here
immediately. I will inject you with a serum
that will make you feel no pain. It will help you
move faster. Pack only the things you need.
They would come back. And this time, we may
not be so lucky.” The Colonel said.
“I am fine uncle. I don’t need 15 minutes. I
can start now.” Ahmed said trying to get up. A
tearing pain seared through his body. He
screamed and lay back down on the bed.
The Colonel looked at him and shook his
head.
“I may be retired son, but whenever I tell you
to jump, you jump. And if I ask you to run, or
crawl, or hold your breath, you do exactly as I
say! You do not know what you are dealing
with here. I do. I will be back in 15 minutes.”
The Colonel said and walked out of the
bedroom.
******************************************
A black kia optima parked six houses away
from The Mansion. A tall man with average
build got out of the back seat and strolled
leisurely forwards. He walked confidently
towards the gate of The Mansion. He knocked.
A very small rectangular part of the gate
opened which gave room for the gateman’s
eyes only.
“Yes, wetin you dey find?” A rough speaking
gateman said, eyeing the man suspiciously.
“Please sir, I am looking for one woman. She
said I should ask for Oga, and that you would
direct me. She gave me this card to give you.”
The man said. He resisted the urge to poke
out the red eyeballs that were staring at him
“Which nonsense card? Make I see.” The
gateman said.
The man put the card through the small
rectangular hole and the gateman collected.
After a few seconds of scrutiny, he handed the
card back to the man and opened the door for
the man to come in. The gateman directed the
man to Sophia’s wing of the house and told
him he would meet someone at the door. He
thanked the gateman and walked to the door
leading to Sophia’s wing. He pressed the bell
a few times. A very pretty steward opened the
door for him. She asked him what business he
had and he showed her the same card. She
smiled at him, handed back the card and led
him to the visitor’s lounge.
“Please make yourself comfortable sir. I will
let her know you are around.” The steward
said.
Five minutes later, the steward came back.
“I am sorry sir. She is not around. She will not
be back till tomorrow.”
“Okay.” The man said, raising his head from a
magazine he was reading.
“Can I show myself out when I am done
please?” The man asked, showing all the
charm he had.
“Okay sir.” The steward replied, chuckling.
Ten minutes later the man got up. He did not
go outside. He climbed the stairs and went
into Sophia’s room.
Sophia felt weak and exhausted. She decided
to just relax a bit after taking that much
liquor. She climbed the stairs, heading for her
room.
She opened the door to her room, shut the
door behind her and switched on the light.
She almost jumped out of her skin at what she
saw.
“Hello Agent S”.
It was the General.

There is no service where I am, I'm sorry for the late updating of story. I traveled. Forgive me. ????????


>>

Sean woke up in a very comfortable bed. He
felt the drip in his right hand as he shifted on
his side. He closed his eyes and opened it
again. He was not dead after all. He was not
in a hospital. That much he knew. He was in a
prepared room. The walls were padded with
white wallpapers. He needed to ease himself of
the pee that now filled his bladder. He felt
stronger than he ever been a few days ago. He
got up slowly from the bed and grabbed the
iron stand that held his drip steady. He
opened the bathroom, eased himself and came
back on the bed. He closed his eyes and slept
off.
As the days went by he got stronger and his
bruises healed. He got back a lot of lost
weight and looked as handsome as he once
was. He had begun doing exercises now. On
the eight day he started doing ten push-ups.
He gradually increased to twenty and then
fifty. He thrived in the pain. He loved the
strain in his muscles. In his entire life he never
really exercised. He was just a computer geek
who loved the keyboard. Now he added a little
muscle in his game.
A pretty nurse came to the room twice daily.
She was his gossip companion. She brought
him food, checked his vitals and made sure he
was okay. He had tried without any luck to get
her to tell him how he got there. He asked her
who employed her and where he was. She had
told him that she did not know anything and
was just a nurse. Every day she was picked
from home, blindfolded in a car and the
blindfold was taken off only when she was in
the flat. She was being paid handsomely for
her job and she did not mind the blindfold.
Her father needed the money for the treatment
of his arthritis. She was blindfolded on the
way home too and released at her door step.
“How did you get the job?” Sean asked.
“I got a call from a strange number telling me
about a job offer. It was too good to be true
so the man planned a meeting. We met at
KFC Yaba and reached an agreement about
the fee. He told me about the blindfold. I did
not hesitate. I have not seen the man since
then” The nurse said
“How many men pick you from your house and
drop you off every day?” Sean had asked on
the eleventh day.
“A black Mercedes E Series pulls up outside
my gate every morning. I go in the back seat
and have small talk with the three men in the
car. I get blindfolded till we enter a
compound. I am guided into a living room by
one of the men and then the blindfold is taken
off. When I am done with you, I walk back into
the sitting room and knock on door that leads
outside. Someone comes in, blindfolds me and
leads me to the car. I have never seen the
same person twice. Why do you ask?” She
asked
“Nothing really, I was just curious.” Sean
answered.
Sean had previously wandered out of the room
he was in. The house was a mini flat which
had just a single bedroom that served as his
‘hospital’, and the living room. The door that
led out of the living room was securely locked
from the outside. He had been carefully
planning his escape. But he needed the girl.
He had developed a soft spot for the nurse.
She was intelligent, pretty and sexy. He had
always dreamed of dating a nurse. No matter
how hard he tried, he could not get her off his
mind. She was the only person he had contact
with for about two weeks. Their conversations
had gotten more personal and he was freer
around her. He was no longer on drips so she
only brought him food and kept him company.
On the sixteenth day, Sean had just finished
working out and decided to have a shower. He
got out of the shower and came into his room
clad only in a towel to meet Bimbo the nurse
in his bed. She turned as he closed the
bathroom door. Her jaw dropped when she
saw his wet body, his muscular chest and his
tight six packs. She almost wanted to run her
hands around his torso. He looked so fit and
handsome.
“Ehmmm…Ehmmm… I did not know you were
going to be ehmmm… wow” Bimpe said.
“It’s okay jor. It is not like I am totally nak3d
or something.” Sean replied and continued
“What brings you here so early?”
“I just came to inform you that I would not be
coming here after today. I came to say
goodbye.” Bimbo said.
Sean sat beside her and took the card she
gave him. It was a very pretty card which
described how much she was going to miss
him.
He took her hands and looked into her eyes.
“Thank you so much for everything Bimbo. I
will never forget you.” Sean said.
As Sean finished his statement Bimbo leaned
forwards and kissed him lightly on the lips.
The kiss lasted for a little less than five
seconds. Sean looked pleasantly surprised. He
broke the kiss and eyed her suspiciously.
“I have been dying to do that for a very long
time.” She said and blushed.
“And I have been dying to do this…” Sean
replied.
He leaned forwards and kissed her lips. He
held her face in his hands as her lips
swallowed his. They rolled on the bed, their
bodies intertwined; their lips still locked in a
kiss and proceeded to take themselves to
heights of unimaginable ecstasy.
Three hours later, Bimbo was dressed and
ready to leave. She smiled at Sean as though
acknowledging that she had a wonderful time.
As she made her way to the sitting room, she
noticed footsteps behind her. She turned and
saw Sean following her.
“What do you think you are doing Sean? You
cannot be seen with me!” Bimbo whispered
Sean walked up to her.
“Do you trust me?” He asked holding her
hands.
“I do but…” Bimbo started but Sean cut her
short.
“Then please believe in me. Go ahead. Knock
on the door.” Sean urged her.
“Are you sure about this?” Bimbo asked, fear
in her eyes.
“Yes baby. I am sure. Now go.”
Sean sandwiched himself beside the door.
Bimbo composed herself and knocked twice on
the door. He heard a lock open and then the
gate squeaked as the door opened. A man
stepped into the room. He saw Sean. Before
he could react, Sean hit the light switch. The
room went dark. With lightning speed, he
dashed to where the man was. He disarmed
the man and twisted his neck from behind.
Sean went back and flipped on the lights.
What he saw scared him.
Bimbo held the man’s gun and pointed it at
him.
“We have been waiting for you to make this
move for days now. What took you so long?”
Bimbo said.
Sean was dumbfounded. He was sure that
there was something else at play here.
Bimbo picked the man’s phone and dialed a
number.
“This is Brenda. Yes. He has made the move.
He is ready.”
She dropped the phone and lowered the gun.
Sean did not move.
“What the hell is going on Bimbo?” Sean
asked.
“You just passed your test Sean. We are on
the same side. Let’s get out of here.”
To be continued….


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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....../ / /'''''\
      / / / ? ?|
      _/ .. /  
    _' `-. / / /''''\
   / | / / _ _|
  / / /) _' |. 
 ; | _/-') - /'  
 | | | _.-' ` -'( |
 ` ` •/ _, )/
  ` -'. . .  
  : | | |
  `. ` / ;' &bull &bull
   | . `"-._ `.__.'__.'
   | "-.__ /
   ) / ,_./' /  
  .' | .'  / #'| | #.- `'
| )_.-`
| |( ` |
  | | |
   | ' |
 


           Men are born between the legs of a woman, Yet Men spend almost all their life trying to go back to dat same place cos there's no place like Home. Now my question is: when last did you visit home? and ladies when last were you visited?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-10 11:38:25

302 Views




Haath Khaali Hain Tere Shehar Se Jaate Jaate;

Jaan Hoti To Meri Jaan Lutate Jaate;



Ab To Har Haath Ka Pathar Humnein Pahunchta Hai;

Umar Guzri Hai Tere Shehar Mein Aate Jaate;



Ab Ke Mayus Hua Yaaron Ko Rukhsat Karke;

Ja Rahe The To Koi Zakham Lagate Jaate;



Reengne Kee Bhi Izazat Nahi Hum Ko Warna;

Hum Jidhar Jaate Naye Phool Khilate Jaate;



Main To Jalte Hue Sehraon Ka Ek Pathar Tha;

Tum To Dariya The Meri Pyaas Bujhate Jaate;



Hum Se Pehle Bhi Musafir Kayi Guzre Honge;

Kam Se Kam Raah Ke Pathar To Hatate Jaate!Related

I ve been laughing since I got this joke.....but are we really this bad?
ANGELS: Father! We are tired of these
Nigerians in heaven.
GOD: What have they done this time?
ANGEL: Everything!They don't listen
to instructions, They don't obey traffic
rules.
They don't wait for their turn in
anything. They are completely
reckless!(Exasp erated) In fact they
have made heaven a living hell since
they got here.
GOD: Then we better send them to
hell!
(Calls the Devil). Hello..
SATAN: Hello my creator and master,
pls call me later. There's an issue I'm
trying to resolve.
Ten (10) minutes later:
GOD: Hello Lucifer.
SATAN: Your Lordship my father! I'll
call you back. The issues as turned
into a crisis ooo!
An hour later:
SATAN: Hello?
GOD: What's going on over there?
SATAN: It's the Nigerian I have with
me in hell oooo!
(He stammers),they. ... they... they
have quenched the fire in hell and
installed air
conditioner...Lol,Trust N?ger?ans cuz dey no dey carry last


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-15 08:23:51

663 Views




WRITE UP BY DINDY: POWER IN THE TONGUE
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this write up.
We were given more than the power of speech and the sense of taste, we were given the ability to also create things with it, we were made as little gods over things on earth because of the ability of our speech. The power of life and death was given to us by the ability to speak.
The tongue has an incredible power, it could command, make, and destroy; we humans beings have power mostly in every part of our body but we don't know how to use them. The tongue is one of the most powerful instrument on earth.
Although it's small, it has a great doing in the existence of the galaxy and life itself; everything you see was made through the words of the tongue, life became life when the tongue came to speak of it, we humans came to life when God spoke of us (remember in geniuses chapter 1 verse 26 GOD THE FATHER said to GOD THE SON and GOD THE HOLY SPIRIT "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth". And that was how we became of, and of masters over the earth and everything in earth).
Our tongues are used against us when we speak wrongly to people and to our own self, because it is in the law of the tongue which states; "every word that was spoken by the tongue will be as It was said", So be careful what you say not to put yourself and others into a life of pain and sorrow unknowingly, and at the end you will be judged for doing what you did knowingly and unknowingly.
People use their tongue the wrong way by telling lies, most especially by cursing people and also by not saying good things to themselves.
A mother/father who lay curses on her/his children in anger will live to face the consequence of the curses she/he laid on her/his children.
A man/woman who always lies about bad happening.
A man/woman who always lies about being robbed, or sickness, or accident, will one day experience it and it shall be extremely very bad, it could even take his/her life.
A man/woman who always says bad things to herself /himself will end up getting no good result because life says "may it always be as you say to yourself".
Lesson to learn from this is; learn to control your tongue, never in any situation let your tongue control you, never let your tongue be your God, never let your tongue own you, never let that which was given to you take control of your future.
We are so ignorant that's why we can't fully harvest the full power of the tongue. If only you can take your time to visualize how powerful your tongue is, you will come to the understanding that men/women are actually gods on earth and we don't need additional powers like juju or voodoo to defeat things we face, the only help we need is from God the maker of the tongue.
Why do you think God said "heaven and earth shall pass away but my word shall remain", even God who created the tongue knows that the power in the tongue is extremely great.
REMEMBER THESE WORDS I WROTE DOWN HERE.
THERE IS POWER IN THE TONGUE, USE IT WELL AND YOU SHALL BECOME GREAT AND RICH IN LIFE, USE IT WRONGLY AND YOU SHALL FACE THE DEPTH OF THE DARK SIDE OF LIFE.
MY NAME IS NNAMDI AKA DINDY AND I WROTE THIS WRITE UP. LEARN FROM WHAT YOU READ NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND. THANKS FOR READING...WRITE UP BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI.........whatsapp number:07087750
433.... [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected] facebook namessy nnamdi.......Skype: 07087750433 or [email protected]
ook.com.....[email protected].....[email protected]







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Why did we start celebrating Children's Day in the first place? This is because the parents and teachers of the world were tired of punishing children. They wanted a day off to think about new types of punishments that will work.







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-05-27 15:22:41

255 Views




One day one white man visited naija which is nigeria our country the following ensued between him and three naija men..
WHITE MAN;pls where are we now?
1st MAN;dont you know where you are going?
WHITE MAN;pls what says d time cause i came from america?
2nd MAN;is the watch in your hand not correct?
WHITE MAN;pls why did nigeria always answer question with question?
3rd MAN;who told you?
Oyinbo no lie na like dat we dey do we dey answer question with question.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-02 22:02:22

812 Views



stubborn mum [Read it]


Akpos stumbled on his parents in bed having s*x. So
he asked:
Daddy, what are you doing? His father replied, "I am
flogging your mummy."
Akpos was lost in thought for a while. Then with a
sad face he lamented:
"But Mama what manner of offence did you commit
in this house?...
Today, four different men have flogged you.
First, was the gate man ikenna , then Idris our house
boy. After that d vendor who sells newspaper to dad
also flogged you and now daddy.
WHY Mama U must be too stubborn oO!"



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-19 11:14:58

221 Views




Don’t carry umbrella during rain, keep WHISPER on ur head coz yeh ghanto tak geelepan ka ehsas bhi na hone de.Related

The generation born till 90s is very lucky… otherwise Facebook and Whatsapp would

.

.

.

.

have made their education an onerous(/tough) task!Related

If there was a “Bi-Sexual Pride” parade, would it go both ways?Related

Playboy is planning coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. Every month the centerfold shall be the same woman!Related

Pls guyz,i followed a friend 2 a ganja house yesterday evenin and this morning i realise that i 4gt my iphone se ther, should i go nd bring it dis morning?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-23 10:12:08

337 Views



Half Naked [Read it]


Akpos happened to have a mistress just in the same street with his wife Iweka. Every night, he'll return late and give his wife excuses about troubles on his way from work. His favorite excuse is... 


WIFE: Why did you return late again today.


AKPOS: I had to meet my boss and report today's activities before I can close for the day.


One fateful day, after making love with his mistress, he almost got caught. He fled through the window.
 
Akpos came home almost naked except for his boxer shorts. Trying to sneak in, meets his wife at the stair way.


WIFE: Where are you coming from, half naked?


AKPOS: My boss and I got robbed and they went away with all my clothes but I'm lucky to have my boxers on. (He replied furiously). Why are you still up anyway by this time of the day with only your wrapper on?


WIFE: (confused) I just saw your boss off now, he has been visiting frequently to tell me you have not been giving him good reports and he threatens to sack you. So I try to make up for you.




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-30 21:06:04

659 Views




A man went to an iPhone shop, he started looking at all the iPhone 7 in the shop.

Shop attendance:- Sir please just buy one iPhone and stop wasting my time

Man:- please don't shout at me

Shop attendance:- Am sure that you don't have enough money to purchase any iPhone here.

This made the man angry. He destroyed all the iPhone 7 in the store and paid for each iPhone he destroyed.

3 days later Akpos went to the same iPhone shop. Akpos started looking at all the phones in the store

Shop attendance:- Please stop wasting my time

Akpos:- don't shout at me

shop attendance:- Am sure that you don't have enough money to purchase any iPhone here

Akpos:- my dear you can't do what you did to that man to me....Abeg una get Nokia tourch light casing?

For more funny jokes like the one you just read, visit

Height of Testing:


>>Introduction:
—————
*Sanket (QA Tester)

*Mukesh Thakur (Developer)


>>Conversation
—————
Sanket: Hey Mukesh, there is a bug in your code. Type a text in username text box and press enter. Beep sound doesn’t appear.


Mukesh Thakur: How can that be a bug? There is no requirement that beep sound should come. Anyway, I will assign it to offshore and get it fixed.


>>After 2 days,
—————

Mukesh Thakur : Roshan, bug is fixed. Please verify.


>>After another 2 days,
———————–

Sanket : I have re-opened the bug because sound is not coming in some PCs. Sound is coming in my machine, but my colleague Rajat Choudhry is not getting the sound.


>>After another 2 days,
———————–

Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. I observed that your friend Rajat Choudhry has Old IBM machine. Unlike your DELL machine, IBM machines do not have inbuilt speakers. So, to hear the sound in Rajat Choudhry’s machine, please use head phones and then get the bug closed soon.


>>Another 2 days,
—————–

Sanket : I have re-opened the bug because sound tone is Different across different machines. Sound is coming as ‘BEEP’ in my machine, but My colleague Rajat Choudhry who is having IBM machine is getting the sound as ‘TONG’.


Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. Get lost man. What can we do for the bug? The Two machines are built in such a way that they produce different sounds. Do You expect the developers to rebuild the IBM processors to make them uniform? Please close it.


>>Another 2 days,
—————–

Sanket : I have re-opened the bug because intensity of beep Sound produced on 2 different DELL machines is different. My machine produces Beep sound of intensity 10 decibels whereas my friend’s machine produces Sound worth 20 decibels. Fix your code to make the sound uniform across all machines.


>>Another 2 days later,
———————–

Mukesh Thakur : Once again it is not a bug. I have noticed that the Volume set is different on the two machines. Ensure that volume is same in both The machines before I get mad and then close the bug.


>>Another 2 days,
—————–

Sanket : I have re-opened the bug.


Mukesh Thakur : What ?? Why? What more stupid reasons can be there for re-opening?


Sanket: Sound intensity is different for machines placed at different locations (different buildings). So, I have re-opened it.


>>After 2 days,
—————

Mukesh Thakur : I have made some scientists do an acoustical analysis of the two buildings you used for testing. They have observed that the acoustics in the two buildings varies to a large extent. That is why sound intensity is different across the 2 buildings. So, I beg you to please close the bugs.


>>After 1 year,
—————

Sanket : I am re-opeing the bug. During the year, I requested The clients to arrange architects to build two buildings with same Acoustical features, so that I can test it again. Now, when I tested, I found that intensity of sound still varying. So, I am re-opening the defect.


Mukesh Thakur : GROWLLLL…..I am really mad now. I am sure that the Sound waves of the two buildings are getting distorted due to some background noice or something. Now I need to waste time to prove that it is because of background noice.


Sanket : No need for that. We will put the machines and run them in vacuum and see.


Mukesh Thakur: ??



>>>>Result,
———–

Mukesh Thakur attempted suicide & is now in mental asylum while Sanket has become QA Manager.Related

Wo Keh Rahi Thi Samandar Nahi Hain, Ankhein Hain;

Main Unn Mein Doob Geya, Aitbar Karte Hue!Related

We have to fight them daily, like fleas, those many small worries about the morrow, for they sap our energies.

-The Letters and Diaries of Etty HillesumRelated

Zippor: Isabella;don't worry;we will spent the night in that shade over there
Isabella: brother i cant;i am scare
Zippor: don't worry i will protect you;if you don't like it here;we can pay for an hotel
Isabella: is okay;don't worry i will be fine;go on lie down and sleep
Zippor: you go on and sleep;don't worry about me
Isabella: alright;good night(she lay down but couldn't sleep)dear God please protect my brother through the night(text message and then phone ringing)hello
Zuriel: hi;i hope your dad is not there

Isabella: no;he is not
Zuriel: alright;that means i can talk to you
Isabella: if you like
Zuriel: are you alright
Isabella: i am fine(Zippor wake up)
Zippor: Isabella;what are you doing?
Isabella: nothing;Zippor just go back to sleep
Zippor: alright
Zuriel: where are you?
Isabella: hmm
Zuriel: you are not at home?you are with a boy and he is your boyfriend;go on tell me?
Isabella: what is it with you rich kids?you always have what you want at your bark and call and you play all your life away and you think everyone is like you;there are really some of us;who wish for love from our own dad and not that of a strange boy;not everyone of us get the opportunity that you have;growing up with the complete love from both parent;even if they dont live with us under the same roof;please stop calling me;if you know you want to judge me;good night
Zuriel: please;what don't hung up
Isabella: what again?(she cried)
Zuriel: i am sorry;are you crying?
Isabella: i am not(she end the call)
Zuriel: Zuriel;what is wrong with you?that is not what you are suppose to tell her;now you made her cried(he called again)
Isabella: hello;please don't call me again
Zuriel: i am sorry;i didnt mean to hurt you
Isabella: is okay;is not your fault;i sometimes overreact to things
Zuriel: did your dad hurt you?
Isabella: no he didnt;(she cried)yes,he does,i dont want to cry;i am strong;i am not a baby;i can take it;yes i can live with that even if he hurt me.i can still take it;yes;i can ;he is still my dad and i love him
Zuriel: slow down;dont take it too hard on yourself;dont worry with time everything will be alright
Isabella: everything will be alright;all because of me;Zippor's father had sent him out and you say everything will be alright;will i be able to forgive myself if something happen to that poor boy;you tell me?
Zuriel: nothing;will happen to him and you too;you will be just fine
Isabella: yes;we will be fine;so whatever you have keep it very well;show it much love than you have ever done because there will come a time when you will feel regret and blame yourself for not been able to show all the love and care that were suppose to show them for never hurting you,good night
Zuriel: Isabella
Isabella: don't worry;i will be fine(she end the call)(enter Melisa)
Zuriel: mother(he hugged her)i am sorry;please forgive me;i really do love you;yes;i love you and you would never hurt me;right?
Melisa: son why would i hurt you?
Zuriel: i don't know but please dont hurt me(he cried)
Melisa: son;i wouldn't;i promise;i will always protect you;no matter what and please forgive me;for leaving you;i didn't leave you because....
Zuriel: you don't have to explain anything to me;all i need is your love
Melisa: thank you son
Zuriel: thank you mom
Melisa: son
Zuriel: yes mom
Melisa: are you having an...
Zuriel: mom;i know what you want to answer;will you get mad at me;if i say yes?
Melisa: son
Zuriel: dont worry mom;i know how you feel but i can handle it;dont be scared
Melisa: what if you breakup with her?
Zuriel: i cant;she will kill herself
Melisa: why?
Zuriel: is because she love me;dont worry i wouldn't do anything bad;just trust me
Melisa: alright;i do but be careful
Zuriel: i will(curtain)
Obed: dad;when will Zuriel come back?
Zeal: i don't know;do you miss him already?
Obed: yes dad;he is my brother right?
Zeal: of cause
Alice: since when did you start caring about him




.....see more later



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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In a small town, a person decided to open up a brothel, which was right opposite to a church. The church and its congregation started a campaign to block the brothel from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.


Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the brothel and it was burnt to the ground.


The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the brothel owner sued the church authorities on the grounds that the church through its congregation and prayers was ultimately responsible for the destruction of his brothel, either through direct or indirect actions or means.


In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons for the act of God. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented:

“I don’t know how I’m going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, we have a brothel owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire church that doesn’t.”Related

No Breasts [Read it]


A conversation between Akpos and a 23-year-
old girl: AKPOS: Would you wear shoes if you
had no feet? GIRL: No, of course not. AKPOS:
Then why do you wear bras?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-01 11:23:34

348 Views




Santa came home earlier than usual, when his wife, Jeeto’s lover was still in the apartment. She hid her lover in a closet, and served dinner. As they ate, something rustled in the closet.

“What’s that?” Santa husband asked.

“Nothing, darling. Just jackets.”

After a while, they again heard some noise in the closet.

“What the hell is that?”

“I’m telling you, just jackets.”

A few minutes later, the noise sounded once more.

“I’ll check it,” Santa said. “You’ll regret it if it’s not jackets.”

Santa yanked the closet’s door open. Inside, he saw a man who held a pistol. Santa quietly closed the door, and said, “Indeed, jackets, darling.”Related

very simple.








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-04 16:20:19

658 Views



Wedding Gift [Read it]


I attended a wedding reception 2day.
When it reached presentation of Gifts, the 1st person went and came out with Umbrella!
2nd person went, Umbrella!!
3rd? Umbrella!!! Suddenly, everybody,
No.. Most people started fixing N10, N20, N50 inside envelopes and were collecting umbrellas.

The worst is that a group of teenage boys now started fixing Cashew
leaves inside the envelope and were collecting umbrellas...!
Okay.... Pls, wen ever my own wedding will be.. Be it 2014, 2016 or even 2018, if you bring the envelope,
Number 1, I will open it.
If its N100, I will give u Viju milk (by the way, in some areas it's sold for 120),
N50? Gala,
N20? Matches,
N10? Toothpick.
If its cashew leaves? I will get u arrested!

My teacher stood me up in class and pointed a ruler at me and said "At the end of this ruler is an Idiot".


I spent the whole day in detention because I asked him which end he was talking about.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-21 18:56:05

387 Views



Ebola passenger [Read it]


Inside a bus yesterday, the conductor was collecting money and d man beside
me refuse 2 pay telling the conductor that he has ebola and everybody was
shouting at the driver to stop so that the man will come down and the man
replied "driver if u stop i will torch you for head" hahahahahahaha



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-11 15:08:10

83 Views




A girl’s legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.

~Redd FoxxRelated
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