Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


I really can’t write how hurt and empty i was that fateful morning. I can’t describe how devastated i was nor how my heart bled. I was totally broken and dead.
I couldn’t even call my brother to tell him the bad situation i found myself. In fact my soul and my spirit ran away from me. I was just a shadow of myself. The devil just took time to urinate on my destiny.

Damian’s mother never bothered nor cared about my feelings, instead pulled out the knife from her son’s body when my cries brought her to the room and almost stabbed me with fury, screaming some incoherent words, until other members of the family came in and held her.

“i said it; nothing good ever comes out of Africa. She stabbed him, she probably did it in her sleep, or maybe it’s witchcraft. God save my soul” the old woman screamed and cried.

I simply sat beside the bed and cried out my heart. I was just like a cornered rat. I was simply in the midst of foreigners. In the midst of people who saw me as a second class animal or probably a gold digger.
None of them spoke to me nor asked how it all happened.

I barely had changed my night wear when an ambulance arrived with men from the force headquarters. Before i knew what was happening, i found myself at the back of a police SUV while the perpetrator of the crime walked freely, probably watching the unfolding events from a safe distance.
Another problem i had was that i didn’t know who to suspect nor accuse. They all looked the same to me. They were all a bunch of conspirators.

I felt like taking my life as the police took me away, because there wasn’t any need living again. I knew the justice system would easily convict and close the case than investigating.

“Who am i among a bunch of whites all accusing me of murder??”. I had nothing to prove my innocence. I was the only person in the room with Damian. The murder weapon which might have saved me through finger print test was already compromised by Damian’s mother.
My life was nothing but over. Kiri kiri prison awaited me with a dark smile.

How do i save myself?, how do i prove my innocence?

Watch out for Part 3

Kindly drop a comment If you want this story to continue

>> Part 2 -

Two young boys were plucking oranges from a tree belonging to an old man, they heard him coming their way and ran away with the ones they had. While the boys tried to run into the cemetery, they found that the gate was locked and they decided to jump over the fence.

While jumping, two oranges fell from their bag and they left it. When they were safely inside the cemetery, they began to share the oranges.

The boys started counting: One for you, one for me.

A drunkard passing behind the cemetery heard their voices and ran as fast as he could to the church to tell the priest that he has heard God and Satan sharing Corpses. Then the priest came with the drunkard to the entrance of the cemetery to hear for himself.

The boys were still busy counting: One for you, one for me.

After they had shared the ones they had, one of the boys asked the other, “What about the two at the gate?”

Immediately the drunkard and the priest heard this, they took to their heels.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-14 06:15:46

163 Views




The Federal Government has scrapped
the conduct of post Unified Tertiary
Matriculation Examinations (UTME) for
candidates seeking admission into
higher institution across the country.
Minister of Education, Mallam Adamu
Adamu, said this on Thursday in Abuja
after declaring open the 2016
Combined Policy Meeting on Admissions
to Universities, Polytechnics and other
institutions.
Minister Adamu expressed confidence
in the examination conducted by JAMB
and added that there was no need for
other examination to be conducted by
universities after JAMB.
He said: “As far as I am concerned the
nation has confidence in what JAMB is
doing.
The universities should not be holding
another examination and if the
universities have any complain against
JAMB let them bring it and then we
address it.
“If JAMB is qualified enough to conduct
tests and they have conducted test then
there will be no need to conduct
another test for students to gain
admission.”
The Minister also asked the JAMB to stop
extra charges on several categories of
changes on admissions such as the
change of course, change of school and
others.
Meanwhile, the JAMB has pegged the cut
– off mark for admission for 2016 at
180.
The 180 benchmark, applies to all
universities and higher institutions in
the country, including polytechnics,
colleges of education, and others



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-06-04 12:58:30

412 Views




Ahmed shut the gate behind him as he got
out of his compound. He walked towards the
bus stop to join a bus going to Ajah. As he
was about to turn the corner that led to the
main road, someone bumped into him. The
person was a female. Tall, light in complexion,
busty and very pretty.
“I’m sorry sir. I wasn’t looking. Please.” She
said pleading and making eyes at Ahmed.
Ahmed had a weakness for fair skinned
women. He could give his right arm for such
women. He smiled at her and told her it
wasn’t a big deal. He tried to flirt with her a
little but she was in a hurry. She gave him a
fake number. He smiled as she hurried along
and left him to continue his journey. After
walking a few meters, she put her left
forefinger in her left ear and said
“Bug planted.”
As Ahmed walked towards the shade at the
bus stop, he tried her number. The number did
not exist. He smiled. He turned and got into a
mild run. He wanted the girl. He figured that
since he still had about 2hours to spend, he
might as well while out time trying to get the
girl. He turned the bend and was walking
stealthily close to the fair skinned lady when
he saw her put her finger in her ear and say
those words.
He was angry with himself for falling so
cheaply. He decided he was going to play
them at his own game. He turned and walked
back to the bus stop. The girl had hit him by
the shoulder when they collided. He checked
his collar and both sleeves. There was
nothing. His watch was on his left wrist. He
took off his wrist watch and scrutinized his
hands. Something caught his eye. There was a
very small silver dot covered by his
wristwatch. It looked very foreign. He
scratched the surface of the object. It came off
his wrist and came on to his palm. There were
two very tiny pins attached to it. The pins
were barely visible. The pins tried to fasten
themselves onto his wrist. He quickly shook it
off and stepped on it with his heavy boots. He
crushed the bug.
He entered the Ajah bound bus, sitting by the
window in the middle row. It was a 14-seater
passenger bus. The bus moved at snail pace
and picked some more people at Lekki Phase
1. They looked very smartly dressed and
smelled good. One sat behind him and
another beside him. He was not comfortable.
He suspected them. He got down at the next
bus stop. He crossed the road and took a bus
going to Obalende. He got down and began to
walk very fast. He passed the Obalende canal
and walked towards the round-about. He
stopped abruptly, acted like he forgot
something and turned quickly walking back
the same way he came. He saw someone
quickly dodge behind a parked danfo. He
grinned. He was beginning to enjoy this. He
walked towards the parked danfo, acting like
he was innocently looking for someone. His
stalker continued to back off slowly. From the
corner of his eye, Ahmed could see the agent
moving back slowly and slowly.
He turned and crossed the road to the UBA
bank. He walked along the street, stopping at
intervals to buy a bottle of water. There was a
glass panel covering a building beside him.
With one eye on the bottle and one eye on the
glass panel, he saw a man in a black mafia
suit walk past him. He was staring at Ahmed.
He did not know Ahmed saw him. Ahmed
finished gulping the water and rushed to the
bridge. He heard a bus call “Ajah, one more
chance”. He quickly got on it. He got down at
Falomo and took another bus back to
Obalende. The guys trailing him were lost.
They continued their journey to Ajah. He
circled Obalende a few times to be sure he lost
them. When he was sure he had, he saw an
umbrella shed. He sat down and got a new
sim card. The attendant insisted Ahmed had
to register the sim card before he could leave
the place. He brought out three 1000 naira
notes and handed it to the attendant. He
smiled and allowed Ahmed to leave.
Ahmed circled Obalende twice again taking a
different route this time around. He made sure
he stopped abruptly at intervals, turning and
walking back the same way he came. When he
felt someone was trailing him, he would enter
very cramped streets and crannies, going
through places he knew from his 14 years in
the area. No one could keep up. After minutes
of circling, he walked to Onikan Round-about.
He stood at the place for close to four
minutes. There was a long stretch of road on
both sides of him. There was nowhere to hide
and it was impossible for anyone to pretend
not to be trailing him. He entered the bus and
headed home.
Eva woke up to find herself in a beautiful
bedroom. The room was large and decorated
with flowery curtains. The walls were painted
pink and almost everything else was in pink.
The huge kingsize bed rested majestically in
the middle of the room. She was nak3d. She
saw her clothes littered on the ground. There
was a pink colored candy panty beside her
leg. It was not hers. She recalled the events of
the past few hours. She bit her forefinger
seductively. She had not experienced such
intimacy with anyone before. It was explosive.
She had multiple satisfactions and did not
want it to end. The alcohol played its part too
in the experience.
She got up from the bed tying just the duvet
around her body. She admired herself in the
mirror and smiled. She stilled looked good.
She had a bath, dressed up and waited for
8pm when Shina would take her to see her
mother. She was in high spirits. At exactly
8pm, there was a gentle knock on her door.
“Finally.” She said to herself.
“Come in. It’s open.” She said loud enough for
whomever it was that was at the door to hear.
She had a huge hunch it was Shina coming to
take her to her mum.
A strange face appeared at the door. He came
in, put his hands behind his back and said,
“Ma’am. There is someone here to see you.”
He said.
“Who is it?” Eva asked already worried.
“Your mother.” The man replied.
“Where is she?” Eva asked, suddenly animated
and full of life.
“She is in the waiting room.” He replied.
She got up, brushed past the man and headed
for the Visitor’s room.
Sean had not heard from Sophia. He had
called her number and left her messages. He
did not want to barge in on her in her room
but now he had no choice.
He left his room and crossed to the other side
of the huge Mansion where Sophia’s wing
was. He passed by the Fortress where the
dogs were backing crazily. He remembered
last night’s events and felt a shrill down his
spine. He half jogged to Sophia’s wing and
entered without ringing the bell. He got into
the small corridor and decided to go to the
Visitors Room first.
He stopped dead when he saw the most
beautiful girl he had ever seen. Eva looked up
as he entered the room. Their eyes locked for
seconds.
As he made to approach her, a voice called
from behind him.
“Sean! Over here.”
Sean turned momentarily.
It was the devil herself. Sophia.


This may be the last episode I will post here. I don't think you guys are enjoying this thriller.

>>

love quote [Read it]


ADVICE TO LADIES:With all SINCERITY young
Ladies,u truly look PRETTY But i have towarn
u not to loose ur VIRGINITY.Don't allow what
u see in urVICINITY to break ur wall
ofSECURITY...ur VIRGINITY is urDIGNITY,
protect it and make it urnumber One
PRIORITY. Don'tallow error of PROXIMITY to
leadu into IMMORALITY. Some of urfriends call
you MINORITY Bcs udon't follow their PARTY
OFMAJORITY, They show off theirbody as
PUBLICITY & now u arethinking of embracing
theirINSANITY. Pls, don't listen to
themBecause all is VANITY uponVANITY! With
Baba GOD the rulerof ETERNITY you have a
trueIDENTITY & u are covered bydivine
IMMUNITY. Leave them toPARTY in their
IRASCIBILITYbecause in REALITY, the end
isCALAMITY. If u have lost urVIRGINITY
already, don't worry,GOD can still give u a
newIDENTITY. But u have to stop
allIMMORALITY so that u can accessthe
beautiful CITY prepared bythe Almighty...I rest
my case Withall HONESTY


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-10 20:05:48

537 Views




Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : "Nothing."
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour"
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-26 13:42:46

387 Views




WRITE UP BY DINDY: TRUST

Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this write up.

Timeless beginnings of hidden happiness.....TRUST.
My Underlined faith in you.....TRUST.
The shape of my heart for you...TRUST.
Unlimited access of my hope for you....TRUST.
Freedom of the world around....TRUST.
A large Space of my believe in you....TRUST.
Swords beheading the thoughts of doubts.....TRUST.
The flow of rightful imagination...TRUST.
Trust is not all about having faith or believe...
Trust is knowing you will always remember me when I am not there...
Trust is having someone who truly thinks of you...
Trust is someone who will never believe the bad things people say about you.
My caving ray of hope clears the doubt which flaps my beliefs and understands;
of a world not of man,
of a world not of anger,
of a world not of pain,
of a world not of sadness,
of a world not of dishonesty,
But of a world ruled by the only one I love and is trustworthy.
I TRUST AND LOVE YOU MORE THAN THE AIR I BREATH.
MY NAME IS NNAMDI AKA DINDY AND I WROTE THIS WRITE UP FOR MR ELVIS. LEARN FROM WHAT YOU READ NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND. THANKS FOR READING.
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi








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Gogu-Tee To Bad [Read it]


GoguTee was in his new
hummer jeep when he saw a
man eating grass by the
roadside.
he ordered the driver to stop
and he go out to investigate
GoguTee: why are u eating
grass?? i dont have any money for
food the poor man replied..
GoguTee: ohh please come to
my house..
poor man: but sir i have a wife
and four children,,
Gogu-Tee: bring them along! they all climbed the car, as
they were goin the poor man
said... sir u are too kind thank
you
for taking all of us in,
GoguTee: replied no you don’t
understand the grass of my
house is over five feet tall it
will be enough for all of your
family member

One word for Gogu-Tee


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-09 22:43:37

210 Views




Once upon a time there was a king who had a beautiful daughter. One day a young prince from a nearby kingdom came by for a visit. That night, after everyone had gone to bed, the prince snuck out of his room and entered the princess’ room.


She said, “What are you doing in my room? Leave immediately or I will call my father!”


The Prince said, “Don’t be frightened. I am not going to hurt you. You are so beautiful. I just want to kiss you and hold you.”


He kissed her lips and here and there and everywhere. Soon he had gone where no man had gone before. Soon they were enthusiastically doing what comes natural. After he finished, he rolled over and relaxed.


She said, “Wow! That was fun. Let’s do it again.”


He climbed back in the saddle for seconds. Then again rolled over and relaxed.


She said, “That was so good. We have to do it again.”


He wasn’t very enthusiastic, but he did managed to rise again to the occasion. He then rolled over and again tried to relax.


She said, “Come on, let’s do it again.”


The prince said, “Leave me alone or I will call your father.”Related

?????:- ???? ???? ??????? ?????? ????? ???? ?? ?? ???? ???????…?

???:- ???? ?? ???? ?? ???? ???? ?? ??? ???? ????? ???? ???
???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? Related

Akpos was arrested by the police and
taken to court.
Magistrate: Mr Akpos, you were
arrested on the expressway for driven your car
into a crowd of over 200 and thereby kiling over
50 lives and many injured. Tell us why you should
not be hanged to death.
Akpors: My Lord! Can i ask you some questions?
Margistrate: Sure, go ahead
Akpors: I was driving at speed 120km/hr, and
suddenly brake fails, by the right; is the crowd,
and by the left is two guys standing by the road.
My question is where do i face? The crowd or the
two guys?
Margistrate: Left of Course!
Akpors: Correct, i followed the left and the car hit
one of the Guy and the other Guy escaped and
ran to the crowd, and i pursue him. Thats y


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-13 14:43:26

143 Views




WhatsApp: 2347060981481
Email: [email protected]
Author: VictVames

I felt like, there’d be no need for telling her,
as I will do my possible best to avoid Lola. I
would make sure she doesn’t get close to
me ever again.
Me: That must be a dream sweetheart,
maybe after my poem
Mirabel: Exactly what I was thinking
Me: Its Ok sweetheart,,, it was just a
dream,,, it doesn’t mean anything
Mirabel: I hope so
Me: Let’s forget about that dear and focus
our mind on our exam.
Mirabel: That’s correct,,, let’s go do our
best.
We got to the School, Promise was there
already waiting for us
Promise: What took u guys so long?
Mirabel: Sorry dear,,, its he’s fault for
waking up late
Promise: So u went to his house to wake
him up?
Mirabel: No, he slept over at my place, if
not, he wouldn’t had woke up till now
Promise: Oh, I see…
Me: Morning Promzy
Promise: The morning is good,,,, come on,
let’s go and study now i don’t want to get a
low grade on this
Mirabel: Yea Let’s go
I followed them into the class, we read,
reviewed, did questions and answers. They
both gisted with the remaining time left
before the exam.
I was totally left out of their conversation,
so i operated my phone till we started the
exam.
I pieces the exam like mad… I thanked God.
The exam finally came to an end, everyone
was happy, others only had smiles on their
faces.
Mirabel surprised me with a passionate kiss
in the presence of everyone to celebrate the
success of the exams. Promise gave me a
friendly hug. I got handshakes from some of
my course mates and my chest got lots of
soft hugs from other course mates too. We
took some photos, spent more time in the
school before we logged out.
Mirabel invited Promise to join us in her
house for lunch which she tried to decline
but Mirabel left her with no other choice but
to join us.
I didn’t follow them to the house, I stopped
at one junction that parted Mirabel’s house
and my place. I dropped so I would go to my
place to change the clothes I wore the
previous day.
I got to my place, had my bath, then i put
on something new. I couldn’t take yoghurt
that moment because i was in a hurry and I
can have some at Mirabel’s. I got out,
locked my entrance door then rushed
towards the gate. I opened it and found
someone standing outside waiting for me.
Me: Promise?
Promise: Hi
Me: What are u doing here?
Promise: I came to see u Victor
Me: Buh I thought…
Promise: Yea, I also dropped after u did… I
told Mirabel that I needed to get something,
that I would join her shortly
Me: Okay,,,, come in. So what’s up? What’s
this about??
Promise: I really dunno, it may sound
embarrassing,,,, I just I just…
Me: Promzy calm down, relax and tell me
what u want to tell me
Promise: Its too late Victor,,, Its already too
late **she starts running away with tears
dripping down from her eyes**
Me: Hey Promise! Wait!! What’s wrong with
u? Promise… hey!
What’s wrong with her??
Promise: Leave me alone!!
Me: But why?! What’s wrong?
Promise: Just leave me alone!!
Me: I won’t leave u, until u tell me what’s
bothering u
Then she stopped and faced me.
Promise: Why? What would u do if i tell u
now?!
Me: Why don’t u tell me first? I’m really
confused right now
Promise: Fine! I love u!! I have always loved
u since we became friends…
Me: What?
Promise: I thought u felt the same way, that
u were just waiting for the right time to ask
me out
Me: Promise….
Promise: What?! I waited for u! I waited for
your move Victor, I waited…
She started crying.
I hugged her to calm her down.
Me: I’m sorry Promise, I didn’t know. I saw
u as that good girl who wouldn’t want such.
Even when i tried to test how your outcome
might be if i should make the move towards
u, but u failed the test Promise, u failed it
Promise: U don’t test a lady that way Victor,
I have my pride to protect. I don’t need to
appear cheap before u know what my
response might be
Me: But I needed to be sure
Promise: That means u never loved me, a
real guy would pour out his feelings to the
girl he loves but u never did that Victor…
and i love u so much
Me: I’m sorry Promise,,, I never knew u did
love me…. I tried to confirm if u had a thing
for me but i didn’t get a yellow light from
u, more to talk of a green. I really did liked
u but i wasn’t sure if u would like me as
well
Promise: I understand u, buh its okay. U
have Mirabel now, she’s happy and you’re
happy too, that’s all that matters.
Me: Promise its….
**Phone rings**
Me: Hello
Mirabel: Where are u? The food is almost
ready, yet U aren’t here, … what’s keeping
u? even Promise is not here yet
Me: I’m on my way dear, I will be there in 10
minutes
Mirabel: Well hurry up,,, lemme call
Promise, bye
**Hangs up**
Me: It’s Mirabel,,, she will call u any
moment from now
Promise: Oh…
**Phone rings**
Promise: Hi Mirabel
Mirabel: Promise where are u?
Promise: I’m almost there
Mirabel: Please hurry up
**Hangs up**
Me: Let’s go
Promise: Together?
Me: Of course! let’s go
We rushed out, I noticed a car screeched its
tyres away across the road of my gate. I
didn’t care ‘coz i dunno the person but the
car looked somehow familiar.
We got into the nearest taxi and then
zoomed off to Mirabel’s.
We got there few minutes later, passed
through the opened gate, then knocked on
Mirabel’s door. She came out immediately…
Mirabel: What took u guys so long?
Me: Sorry dear,,,, buh, we’re here now
**giving her a kiss on the cheek**
Mirabel: Let’s go in before the food gets
cold
Me: Alright
We went in, Mirabel ushered us straight to
the dinning so we’d attack the covered
meal.
Mirabel: Its a good thing the food didn’t get
cold before u guys came, if not i would’ve
killed u both.
Promise: Kill kwa! Abeg o…
They both bursted into laughter while i just
forced out a smile. What Promise told me
earlier kept me in a thinking and imaginal
mood.
She uncovered the food, Oh my! My
favourite!! I know u all can guess what it
was. Now Promise will eat my precious
food! And shorten my ration? Lols,,, just
kidding…
Mirabel: I prepared your favourite to
celebrate the success of the exams
**referring to me**
Me: U did well,,,, this is great! I was already
thinking of when I would eat your fried rice
again
Mirabel: Another reason why I prepared it,,, I
know u’d miss it
Me: Sure I would
Promise: Uhmmm… Mirabel can u please
play us some music?
Mirabel: Sure
She took the remote and pressed a button, a
cool music by Timi Dakolo started playing.
But she changed it to Tekno’s Duro.
She served the food, with an expensive
drink I even forgot its name. Of course it
doesn’t taste good, or maybe it was me.
Promise did the judgement before we
proceeded in sentencing the food into our
bellies.
After eating for a while, I sipped the drink,
it tasted somehow… my expression was like
“Which kind drink be this one now” and I
guess Mirabel noticed it.
Me: Uhmmm Mirabel…
Mirabel: Don’t even think about it
Me: But…
Mirabel: Not today
Chai! I needed it,,,, hollandia yoghurt of
course!!
I just managed to drink the available one,
but I enjoyed the fried rice sha.
After the meal, Lola showed up, smiled and
said hi to me before she started dancing.
Mirabel and Promise was in the kitchen
then. I couldn’t understand if Lola timed
them or something.
She danced sexily with her white bum short.
I tried hard not to look at her, but dam?!
She was good, the twisting and whining and
twerking got me excited. But i maintained
my position, even little vame understood the
implication.
I heard some footsteps approaching, I
quickly turned away from Lola and began to
operate my phone,,, breathing like a goat.
Mirabel: Lola!!
Lola: Hey dear
Mirabel: What’s the meaning of this? Can’t
u see Victor is here?!
Lola: And so? Is Victor a kid? Come of it
girl
Mirabel: I don’t like it
Lola: Now what? I should stop dancing
because a matured dude is here? What is he
gonna do? Rape me? [email protected] over me?
Or what? Come on girl!
Promise: Lola calm down, just understand
Mirabel’s point of view.
Lola: And who are u? Her d!ck sharer?? oh
pleaseeee….
Having said that, she stormed out with her
shakeables shaking up and down.
Mirabel: Lola!!
Promise: Woah… what’s wrong with that
girl?
Me: She’s like that
Mirabel: She can be crazy at most times, but
not like this
Me: Maybe she’s high or something
Mirabel: That’s when she tries to make some
sense
Me: So what do u think?
Mirabel: I dunno, but,,, how come u guys
came together??

??? TO BE CONTINUED ???

>> Part 36 -

Section A (Answer all questions)
1a. How many chibok girls were
kidnapped? State d reason for their
kidnap. (20marks)
1b. The question “Na only you waka
come was said by who and to whom?
Why dis xclamation “chai there‘s is
God oo?! (15marks)
2a. What are the names of the two
people holding hands when you
switch on a Nokia phone? (10 marks)
2b. If the past tense of Take is Took,
what is the past tense of Make?
(10marks)
3. Which university in Nigeria has the
highest number of ladies using
blackberry phones? (10marks)
4. If Buhari is a friend to Obasanjo
on facebook, who sent the friend
request and why? (10marks)
5. If the cost of moi-moi is N10.50,
what is the cost of moi? (10marks)
6. Who ate the missing part of the
apple logo? (15marks)
SECTION B
(Answer All. 10 Marks each)
1. Between the Nigerian police and
Nigerian girls, who likes money
more?
2. Using the almighty formula,
calculate the diameter of elegushi
beach. (take pi=3.142)
3. If Ada is a girl and Obi is a boy,
who is Adaobi?
4. If your X-boyfriend/X-girlfriend
wins N50,000,000 on who wants to
be a millionaire a day after you guys
broke up, find the value of X.
5. If it takes Goodluck 1 hour to
deliver a typed speech in a national
conference, how many days will it
take Patience to deliver the same
speech on the same occasion?
Assuming the polarity of the
audience is kept constant.
SECTION C
(Answer 2)
1) Tuface was given a Prado and
Ferarri on his traditional wedding and
white wedding respectively. There is
every likelihood that D Banj has gone
ahead to print wedding invitation
cards without an available bride.
Discuss (20Marks)
2) Write a short essay of 500 words
on 'My Oga At The Top' (20 Marks)
3) What's the name of the lady that
used to say "please enter your secret
number" at the ATM center of banks?
State reasons why she was chosen
and explain too (20 Marks)
START. NO SIDE TALKS..........


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-19 10:03:43

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My life from that moment was as if I just
fall in love
again but the major problem now was how
to convince
my parent most especially my old man that
I was not
ready for any wedding even though I was
ready to take
responsibility for the pregnancy.
Conversation between me Biola gradually
return back
to normal a bit, my call to her was so
regular that I
never allowed her to rest with calls about
her well
being.
It was on the next Sunday afternoon when I
received a
call from my mum that Mary came around
to deliver
the introduction list to them at home.
Me: Introduction list ke?
Mum: Yes…
Me: Are u home ma?
Mum: Yes…
Me: Am coming to see you right away
I quickly dashed down to my parent house
after the call
and I was surprise to see mary there, she
greeted me
but I didn’t respond
Mum: Are you not the one your wife is
greeting?
Me: Which wife mum? I don’t think am
married yet
mum
Dad: so, you are still with your
stubbornness snakie
Me: No dad…but atleast am not married
yet and I don’t
think am prepared to
Dad: Are we still on this argument? Your
wife was
already on her way to your place before it
was when
you told your mum you are coming we
asked her to
wait for you
Me: Dad, am serious…am not ready for any
introduction…….am not marrying Mary, I
already have a
wife I want to marry before this intruder
came in and
am not giving in to her deceit
Dad: You are not even ashamed of
yourself…..when will
you grow up and be a man who accept his
responsibility? You think you can bring
shame upon this
family? If you are not shameful well I am
and I will not
allow you throw my reputation in the gutter
just like
that..i don’t even know the kind of legacy
you want to
leave behind for your siblings since you are
behaving
like this
Mary: Mummy please beg Snakie for me..i
think we
have gone past this stage and I already
apologized to
him and Biola on the role I played in all
this
Dad: Don’t mind him jare…..we have taken
the decision
and we are not going back on it..just put
your mind at
rest Mary
Mum: Oko mi…please now, forget about
how you guys
met and how you arrive at this
stage..please move
ahead oko mi..i believe she also has all the
quality you
require in a lady too..all you need is to
learn how to
love her just like you love Biola and
everytyn will be
fine
Dad: Don’t mind her jare…I don’t know
whats wrong
with kids of nowadays…they will never want
to accept
responsibility
Mum: Eyin na ko lojo..i remember back
then, ojo na re
bi ano, only difference was that yours was
not at the
pregnancy stage
Dad: gerrara here jhoor…were you not the
one dying
ontop fine boy then…omo to handsome
Mum: how you take see me sef, I never
commot for
market now
Dad: Shioor..e dey your body. Snakie pls,
relax your
mind, I know your concern and everytyn will
be fine
with you. It’s a matter of time omo mi.
Me: Mummy please can I see you in
private?
Mum: Sure..lets go inside
Me and my mum went inside and relay my
concern to
her, I pour all my mind for her and explain
how I feel,
my plan and the way I want to live my
future with the
one I love but she still try as much as
possible to
convince me but she succumb when she
realized I was
adamant and will never listen to her. At the
end of it,
we concluded that I should at least safe
the family
face and not take a harsh decision right
now..she said
I should play along with Mary pending
when the
atmosphere will come down and she will be
able to
discuss it with my dad.
I left home with Mary and we never utter a
single word
to each other until we got home, one week
gone, two
and still counting down to the introduction
without
hearing from my parent, This was just 3
weeks to the
introduction date. My mood towards Mary
never
changed all through this time
I was at home on Sunday evening when
Biola called
me and asked if we can see, she said I
should meet
her somewhere, she gave me the
description around
Ajao Estate and I quickly drove down there.
I met her
at the tetrazzini at 7&8 junction. She was
sitting by a
corner all alone
Me: What happened baby? What are you
doing here?
You sounded somehow on phone
Biola: Am just coming from your house…I
met your
parent and they explain everytyn to me
Me: What did they explain to you
Biola: Everytyn baby…and you cant because
of me not
listen to your parent
Me: Please stop that baby..its my life and I
have to live
it the way I want
Biola:but their opinion count so much too
and you cant
because of me turn your back on them
Me: Am not turning my back on them, its
just my future
Biola: Well have given them my word that I
will talk to
you and back down baby
Me: back down from what baby..please
don’t ruin my
life baby, pls don’t let us ruin this chance
again baby
Biola: I couldn’t withstand the cry of your
mum…I
couldn’t, I put myself I her shoes and how I
will feel if
my son disobey me…moreover what is the
tendency
that I will be accepted by them knowing
fully well that
they will have it in mind that you disobeyed
them cos
of me. Please lets put a stop to all this
baby, have
accepted defeat already and even though
have not
come to terms with it but I have no option
but am very
sure I will survive this. Please am very
sorry baby, we
can still be friend and will forever be the
best of
friend…you know I always want the best for
you and
your happiness..Dont worry baby, am not
angry with
you, I believe it’s the will of God that things
happened
this way between us, I will take you as my
brother and
friend going forwards snakie, pls take good
care of
yourself for me baby, I will forever love you
“she stood up and went out of the
restaurant and I was
dumbfounded, she left with a swollen face
crying”
Me: wait…Biola, please wait now
Biola….please wait
baby…baby..baby…
She was already on bike by the time I
stepped out of
the door as if the bike was already waiting
for her, I
quickly located my car but one idiot guy
already park
behind me and before he could remove his
car and
entered mine to follow her, I couldn’t locate
her
again..i tried her number but it was
switched off
already

To Be Continued…



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Do you know the only thing that gives me pleasure? It’s to see my dividends coming in.

~ John D. RockefellerRelated

BLIND BY NATURE EPISODE 14 (STORY BY DINDY)
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story.

.....BACK AT JULIAN'S HOUSE....
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian's mum was busy cutting meat while she was answering Julian over the phone.
Julian's mum: "Julian young lady where is that OLD MAN!", she shouted angrily.
Julian: "mum please cool down let me explain", she said calmly.
Julian's mum: "explain what?", she said angry cutting the meat roughly.
Julian: "mum are you cutting meat?", she asked kinda surprised because of the sound she heard.
Julian's mum: "don't try to change the topic young lady", she said as she continued cutting the meat with anger.
Julian: "mum take it easy with the meat, don't take all your anger on the poor thing mum", she said sounding soft.
Julian's mum: "(shouting)of course I won't take all my anger out on it but I will to your dad when I lay my hands on his neck!", she said as she stabbed the meat with the knife she held.
Julian: "mum cool down it hasn't gotten to that", she said.
Julian's mum: " yes it has, I don't even know why I am talking to you", she said with an angry face.
Julian: " c'mon mum don't get so angry, it's me your 'Julian'", she said trying to cool her mum down.
Julian's mum: " I know it's you that is why i haven't realised my evil dragon words on you", she said removing the knife from the meat.
Julian: "that's my mum....", she said but didn't finish her words because her mum interrupted her.
Julian's mum: " don't mum me, I am still da*n angry", she said.
Julian's mum: " where is that OLD MAN I asked you about?!", she asked shouting very loud which drew the attention of Julian's brothers (Sam and jack) who were in their room playing games.
Julian: "Mum please calm down and listen to me", she begged.
Julian's mum: "you know what? I will end this call and call you back and when I do your dad had better pick it if not he is gonna see the bad side of me!", she said very loud.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian's mum ended the call and stabbed the poor lifeless meat once more with anger then she walked to the cooking gas and switched it on because she wanted to prepare lunch.
[JULIAN'S MUM THOUGHTS]=> I will so teach that man a lesson, he actually thinks that by using Julian he can get me to cool down, I will never accept such non sense from him. He intentionally didn't pick my calls although I called his countless times, what non sense, if it was me he would frown like a freaking monkey(hissing).
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> As she talked with anger within herself she reflected it physically by roughly handling things she held.
.....BACK IN THE CAR.....
Julian: "mum please, let me explain", she said but it was too late because her mum had ended the call already.
Julian: "da*n Dad, she ended the call", she said.
Julian's dad: "girl your mum is seriously annoyed but all I did was not to pick her calls which I actually didn't do intentional", he said facing Julian.
Julian: "like really dad do you wanna go down that lane?", she asked him giving him back his phone slowly.
Julian's dad: " what are you talking about Julian?", he asked her collecting his phone.
Julian: "do you remember that time she mum didn't pick your call because her phone was in her bag?", she asked him.
Julian's dad: "oh!, but but but", he said.
Julian: "no buts dad", she said.
Julian's dad: "it was a small case", he said.
Julian: "yes it was but you took it to another level which was on for about a week, now tell me dad does she not have every right to get mad at you?", she asked.
Julian's dad: "she does but she should know what we went through", he said.
Julian: "I agree with you dad", she said placing her right hand on her forehead.
Julian's dad: "I think we should quickly go get those stuffs she asked us to get before it adds to her anger", he said as he wore his seatbelt and inserted his car key to start his car.
Julian: "sure dad", she said as she wore her seatbelt.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian's dad started the car and they zoomed off to go get the stuffs needed for dinner.
.....BACK AT JULIAN'S HOUSE....
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Sam and jack were unable to continue the game they were playing because of the noise their mum made which got them worried. So they both went to meet their mum in the kitchen.
Sam: "mum what's the problem?", he asked putting his two hands apart.
Jack: "Rose who fu**ing annoyed you?", he asked standing close to Sam.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> She Turns and looked at Sam and jack with red eyes and pointed an iron spoon at jack.
Mrs Rose: "(shouting)I have always warned you to never call me by my name and you should never use that da*n word 'fu**ing' when you are talking to me!", she said as she moved closer to jack.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Sam quickly moved back bit by bit without jack knowing. Jack was shocked and didn't know whether to run or to just melt at that spot.
Mrs Rose: "where dah hell do you think you doing to Sam?", she asked him redirecting the iron spoon at him.
Sam: " I I I", he became a stammerer at that point.
Mrs Rose: " you da*n what?", she asked him moving the spoon around his face.
Sam: "(stammering) I i wanted to go go bring out the bird foo food", he spoke very confused.
Mrs Rose: "just shut up", she said angrily.
Mrs Rose: She withdrew her focus and anger from Sam and slammed it at jack, " as for you jack you are gonna cut this remaining meat here and cook it", she said with anger.
Jack: " yes mum yes mum", he said like a humble dog as he quickly ran to do what his mum ordered him to do.
Mrs Rose: " and you better be fast about it or else you will regret it", she said looking at jack.
Mrs Rose: "Sam you wanted to know why I was angry right?", she asked angrily.
Sam: " yes but not again bye mum", he said smiling a little and walking away.
Mrs Rose: "get back here boy!", she ordered him.
Sam: Turns slowly and walks back to where she stood, "I'm here mum", he said with a racing heart.
Mrs Rose: "You will stay here and you will find out why I am angry whether you like it or not", she said.
Mrs Rose: "now go help jack!", she ordered.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Sam quickly walked to where jack stood to do as he was commanded by his mum.
Mrs Rose:"ahhhhh!!!!", she screamed with anger hitting the iron spoon on a stainless plate.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> As they heard the sound (which was made when their mum hit the iron spoon on the stainless plate) it gave them heavy fright. They looked at themselves and talked to each other in low voice.
Sam: "Jack why did we leave our sweet game to come here?", he asked cutting the meat with a shaking hand.
Jack: "are you asking me?", he asked back.
Sam: "no I'm asking the short n**ga on your shirt", he said.
Jack: " dude can't you ever be serious for once in your life", he said cutting the meat
Sam: "you started the whole shit", he said still cutting the meat.......to be continue.
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi



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marriage issue [Read it]



A man had only one daughter. When the
daughter was of marriage age, the father
sent news around town that all the eligible
young men should come to compete in a test
which would determine who was fit to marry
his daughter. On the set day, all the able-
bodied young men came out. Some came
with paper and pen and others with cutlasses
and swords. The rich man took them to his
swimming pool and addressed the men: “Any
of you who can swim from one end of this
swimming pool to the other would marry my
daughter. In addition, I‘ll give him 15 million
naira, a car and a house so they can start
life well. I shall be waiting to meet my son-
in-law at the other side. Good luck!” As the
young men, all very excited at the prospect
of winning, started taking off their shirts, a
helicopter came over the pool and dropped
snakes and crocodiles into the pool.
Immediately, all the men turned back and
started wearing their shirts again.
Disappointed, some of them said, ''That's
crazy, no one will'. All of a sudden, they
heard a splash in the pool. Everybody
watched in amazement as one gentleman
struggled his way across, avoiding the
snakes and crocodiles. Finally, he made it to
the other side. The rich man could not
believe it. He asked the young man to name
anything he wanted but the man was still
panting uncontrollably. Finally, he got himself
together and made a request saying, ''SHOW
ME THE PERSON WHO PUSHED ME INSIDE
THIS POOL!'' Moral Lessons: You don’t know
what you are capable of doing, until you are
PUSHED!!. Sometimes it takes going through
the bad moments to bring out the BEST in
us. Trials are raw materials for Triumphant
Testimonies... The push might take different
dimensions: some people needed to be
sacked before realizing their potentials and
reaching their goals in life. I PRAY SOMEONE
OR SOMETHING WILL PUSH U TOWARDS
YOUR SUCEESS. GoOd mOrNiNg tO yOu
friends...... HaV3 a fUlFiLl3d dAy. -
camposblues.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-21 10:55:27

756 Views




“I don die today oooo” i shouted in my mind as i pushed amanda up trying as much as possible not to make any noise in the process.

Amanda got up arranging and repackaging her ruffled leggings and top, wiping her face with her palm and trying to appear normal.
This was one of the situations that jnr sky will fall flat within seconds.

I pulled up my boxer like its a fast boxer wearer competition.
Grabbed my singlet that was laying carelessly on the bed.
To say i was confused would be an understatement.

“How am i gonna cover this mess now?” my mind queried..
A sudden sweat born out of shear confusion engulfed my whole body like it was poured on me from above.

“Sky quick enter the bed and cover yourself with your blanket like you are sick” Amanda said in a very calm but strange way.
**Choi omo see sharp thinking ooo.**

I slid under the blanket immediately dragging it up to my shoulder level curling myself a bit under it, wiping my face vigorously the edge of my singlet, close my eyes half way then put on that ‘I no well face.
Amanda bends beside me and was like pretending to be checking me out.

“Sky when did this your sickness start”?
“Have you taken panadol, should i go boil hot water and make tea for you”
She sang on rubbing her hands on my fore-head.

I could hear papa’s footsteps growing bolder and nearer until finally he emerged, he was smartly dressed as always clad in a lacy jumper of interwoven green and gold design and a red traditional cap as always.

Could see him standing in front of the door for a little more than 4seconds watching Amanda display her undying care for my health.

“Whats wrong with Nnam” He blurted out stepping into the room with the scent of his Cologne filling everywhere.
“Nnam whats the matter?” he addressed the question to me now on getting to the edge of the bed beside his wife.

“He has fever, i just got in now and saw him lying down” Amanda answered. I dont know if it was to the first question or the second one.

“When did you fall sick, i called your sister yesterday she didn’t mention anything about you being sick” Papa said in a little bit surprised tone.

“It started in the bus on my way home, on getting home the headache and weakness rose” i said trying to sound as sickish and feverish as possible letting out little coughs and kicking my legs slightly in a shivering manner.

“Your body is not too hot” He intoned running his hands all through my fore-head.
“Am very sorry nnam, have you eaten or taken any medicine yet?”
He asked again.

“I have been asking him what he wants to eat so i can make it for him and then give him some panadol to take” Amanda chipped in earning an appreciative smile from papa.

“Please darlin make chicken pepper soup for him, you know he likes it and get him a panadol from my drawer” Papa pleadingly asked amanda who agreed immediately and headed towards the door throwing a wink at me before exiting.

Papa sat at the edge of the bed, still checking my pulse from the neck of my left arm.
“Nnam i hope you will eat chicken pepper soup” He asked.
“Yes i will try” i weakly replied wincing as someone in pain would.

“You will be fine, i think its just cus of the journey” Just rest, your step mum will be over with the pepper soup soon” Papa intoned again, with every iota of concern and worry ladened in his voice and on his face.

Watching papa’s resigning figure as he stepped out of my room closing the door behind him, his black Italian shoes making a ‘ko’ ‘ko’ sound as he matches it upon the ceramic tiles.

I shuddered at the thought of what would have happened if papa had caught us, if we had shut the door and i didn’t hear his footsteps.
My mind was taken back to Chioma and how the stale night of operation last night in nsukka gave birth to a stale morning of operation leave nsukka to enugu.

I had stayed awake most part of the night, the fact that i could hear chioma tiny sobs in the night gave me a sleepless night made worse by the floor i decided to sleep on that night just spread a wrapper on the floor and left the king sized mattress for Jessy and Chioma.

Am sure jessy didn’t sleep too judging from the eye bags she woke up with.
i tried apologizing to chioma in the morning, cooking up more tales like ‘Cynthia was just playing and bla bla bla’ which she didn’t even buy.

I ate breakfast as fast and sliently as possible, with each bite seeming like a forced chunk in my mouth, swallowing them was yet another task.

I could see the look in chioma’s eyes as she watched me take my bag and walk out towards the door without another word, with jessy leading the way.

“I would have been a literal hell fire on earth, if papa had caught me” My heart shivered at the thought.
“This love escapade with Amanda is going to put in one a hell of a trouble if i am not careful, this sweet poison might ruin me” One alien part of my mind warned.

“Today was too close if not for amanda’s smartness. I think this will be the last time i will ever indulge on this sexual sprees with amanda again” I announced in my heart sounding more like these politicians when they make us promises of what they will do when elected.

“I will never do this with Amanda again, i’d better stop this moving train before it gets out of hand…” i re-affirmed.

Anyways i have a chicken pepper soup to eat now
I survived today.

..To be continued..


>>


1. The rich guy/gal: This one comes to school as if he/she
is packing into a new apartment. They have everytin,
fan,dryer, tv and all sorts of gadgets..and if any is stolen, they
get another one ASAP.
2. The Pastors: these ones walk room by room preaching d
gospel. Not bad though
3. The beggars: these ones beg for anytin....salt,peper,
shoes and even boxers...and dey behave as if their father
owns the world.
4. The lucky Friends: these ones always come around wen d
food is ready...as if dem plant camera to monitor you.
5. The village man: this one comes to school wit all sort of
tinz like Maize, Iru, cassava flour, cutlass (may b to farm
who knws)
6. The problem solver: this one's room is always full during
exam and test as students wants to get solution to deir
academic problems from him..na only God knw whr dem go
since.
7. The cooks: these ones enter d kitchen more often than
roaches nd rats living dere. They cook all day that you begin
to wonder if they were admitted to cook.
8. The lover boys: This one dont cook but brings food from
different gals everyday...i heard its called "COOLER
MINISTRY"
9. The thieves: these once will be like, "I like this your Shoe o"
b4 u knw it, ur shoe is gone.
10. The gamers: these once plays games...pes, fifa, Nfs,
killswitch and others all day.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-09 15:24:26

162 Views




Laugh and share













NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-08 09:50:33

3533 Views



Scruffy [Read it]


After eight days of backpacking with my wife,
we were looking pretty scruffy. One morning
she came to breakfast in a baseball cap, her
shoulder length hair sticking out at odd angles. "Darling," she said, "does my hair make me
look like a water buffalo?" I thought for a moment, then said, "If I tell you
the truth, do you promise not to charge?"#do yoo Get tha point #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-29 19:29:52

723 Views



SELFIE TINZ [Read it]


ABeg Na Who Do This Guy This Kind Tin
Ah WonDer O
LoLZZ.....







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-03-30 01:14:21

285 Views




Suhagraat ko dulhe ne pelna shuru kia pelte pelte light chle jati hai.

Subhah jab dulhan ki naak dekhta hai to moti hoti hai

Dulah : teri naak moti kaise ho gai?

Dhulhan : tumne chut main dalne ki bajaye naak me daal diya tha.

Dulah: Bc to bolna tha na

Dulhan : tumare andde mere mu me the na hawas ke pujariRelated

What is love
Love is when your husband catches you naked
with another man and still say baby dress up let us
go
home...
What is death?
Death is when you follow him...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-27 00:32:49

871 Views




Akpos girlfriend have been treating him bad because he has no money.
So, Akpos decided to go for his girlfriend bestfriend.
Later Akpos became rich and goes to see this previous girlfriend.
Akpos: Honey am so sorry for dumping you for your best friend. i promise i won`t hurt you again.
Girlfriend: After sleeping with my best friend and you are hear telling me trash. You can go to hell i don`t care. Poor man.
Akpos: `Kneeling down` Baby you know my heart belongs to you.
Baby please i will never ever HURT you again. Ok take this N50,000 .
its for the pains i must have caused you.
Girlfriend: OMG! Honey all this for me?
Akpos: yes baby, am now rich. i will pay for any dem pain i cause you.
Girlfriend: Ooo I can`t believe this, Baby Baby please HURT me again. just a HURT
Akpos: You mean i should hurt you?
Girlfriend: Yes Yes, just hurt me more
Akpos: Ok, remove all your cloths `she did`
Akpos: close your eyes. `she did`
Girlfriend: Baby come on hurt me
Akpos collected his N50,000 back and zoom off.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-13 22:28:45

24216 Views




Happy weekend people...##enjoy.... PHONE
RINGS!!
CHICHI : hello
AKPOS: my love how are you doing?
CHICHI : am fine.
AKPOS:will you be less busy by weekend to
come to my house?
CHICHI :am sorry love I can’t make it because
I will be attending my aunty’s wedding and
the next day is de thanks giving
in church,am so occupied.
AKPOS:i wanted to take you out for
shopping to surprise you with
blackberrytorch and the brazilian hair u’ve
been asking for.
CHICHI :i will be coming and i may even
spend a weekend if u want my love.
AKPOS:what about the wedding?
CHICHI :which wedding? I was just joking.
AKPOS: me too love!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-28 11:34:48

2313 Views




Aahahahahahhahahahaha.....i moaned, while using d soap inside bathrum givin myself pleasure, i ws enjoyin myself so i became faster replenishin d soap foam wen it luks lyk is fadin b4 i began 2 feel my self insyd anoda world, then i cum and started feelin tired, dat ws wen d bathrum door flung open den i woke.....mtcheew na dream self i wnder ooo bkus i wonder d day i started masturbating wit a soap insyd bathrum, though i do feel d sensation while bafin.....i stood cleanin my eyez i ws suprise 2 c my boxer wet, cha! Wic kind tin b ds na, wic day dis 1 start na...i use 2 hear abt spiritual wife nd wat dey do pple in d dream...bt i since i started goin 2 church.. None of d pastors has ever say anytin spiritual wife...i ws already @ d toilet door as i ws abt 2 open it, it flung open and mary walk out wit out utterin any word 2 me enterin insyd her rum...mtcheew wetin concern..i easy myself and headed bck 2 my rum fallin on d bed wit all my weight, i ws sure mary heard it,bkus i did it intentionally...by then all d sleep in my eyez is gone,i picked up my phone nd login my 2go bt ws surprise 2 c mary online...i wnted 2 ignore her bkux of her behaviour recently bt i decided 2 show her d diff btwn a guy n a gal.
Me:hi
she logged out,after a minute wen it seems 2 me dat she ws nt going 2 reply i ws abt pressin d red key da ws wen she come online nd replied me
Mary:hy...i replied almost immediately
Me:ar u nt feelin sleepy
Mary:nop
Mek
After sm seconds she sent a msg
mary:i have a terrible nitemare so i cant stay alone, can u com over 2 my rum or should i com....nawa ooo wic kind wahala b ds na...
Mek u can com
Within a minute she ws already in my rum.she lied down besyd me..she ws wearin a trasperent night gown.she even gt mind kari her head pt ontop my chest.every wher ws silent until she spoke
Mary:xo wu ws dat
Me:who
Mary:d person u spoke wit on d fone yesterday
me:she z my strt gal
Mary:hmmm ur strt gal n u ar tellin her dat u love her.
Me:daz wt we tel each bt z ntin....i ws stil wonderin y i lied 2 her, she go beat me mtcheew..she started smtin i didnt expect, she pt her lap on my abdomen and start usin it 2 carress my d!ck, pretndin as if she didnt knw, nd dat member ws respondin...chai i dn die wic kin gal b dis na...i brought my fone @ list for sm distraction stil ntin happened
Mary:pls stop pressin d fone d light z reflectin on my eyes
Me:yes ma
Lockin d fone by den it ws already 2:40 am
I pretended as if i fal asleep she raised her head nd luk at my face then she pecked my cheecks still lukin @ her wit 1 eye closed, nxt ws my lips,she started suckin it as if on a mission 2 suck all my saliva.i responded immediately cha! Wu no go respond...she ws even surprise bkux i can tel frm d way she breath,i turned her upside down still kissin her frm lips 2 neck ,bitin nd kissin her ears, she ws already moanin....makin sound lyk a snake...then i wnt 2 dat big orange becaus i could remember d day i ws teasin her abt her oversize br**st she tld me da her own z called orange nt br***st, i dnt knw other galz callz theirs lol.i first use my tongue 2 lick d nipples b4 suckin it, diz tym around she moaned nd called my name, i started sharin d b***by wit my mouth pressin it @ d same tym..dat ws wen i bleiv d sayin da says a girls left breast is began dan her ryt one cha! pple in d world are cheatin us lefty God no even say mke em pity us em even join hand with dm 2 frustrate us d more... She held my head still hissin lyk a snake lol..i wnt down 2 her navel nd began 2 sck it putin my hand under her gown she ws nt wearin any underwear nd i wsnt surprise dat she ws already wet ..shap shap wit d speed of light i undress her,removin my boxer 2 nd began 2 finger bleep her, she moanin loud ds tym around i ws sure d person in d other flat mst b listenin 2 her soundtrack,i started kisin her atleast 2 reduce d sound frm our studio lol..increase frm 2 fingers 2 3 she started shoutin, i hav 2 witdraw b4 neighbours will start comin 2 her rescue tinkin may b shw ws in danger, i raised her legs up in d air nd brush my d!Ck on her vagina wall, she vibrated lyk all those motorola olden days fone, i repeated it again she did d same, i lov wat she ws doin so i kept brushin it bt as tym passed,it bekom normal 4 her jst lyk deir said 2 much of everytin is bad.i ws abuot penetrate den i gt bck 2 my senses, yes my devil sent CD!!!..Immediately, i put my hand under d bed tore 1 all dis while mary ws lukin @ me in dis beleive, though d rum a little bit dark bt i can still c her cat eyes.i wore my armor of defence nd ws abt penetratin her wen she tld me 2 tke it easy dat it ws her first tym.
Me:are u sure u wnt 2 do dis wit me..lukin @ her in disbeleiv
Mary:yes, it has been long i wnted u 2 do it 4 me bt cant wlk up to u,i ws afraid dat i fall in love wit my cousin..pls mk love 2 me...wit a bdrum voice.. Dat word turned me on nd i penetrated her immediately..she moaned..ouch...i started going slw den faster,she ws speakin sme audible language, i ws even surprise bkux i expected her 2 shout all d way, she started pressin her br***st wt her eyez closed while i ws 4ukin her faster dan i could...then NEPA abi LEPA brought there useless light.




NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpos fast [Read it]


In Akpos church, during church service the pastor said "There will be fasting from 6am to 12pm this week. So come next sunday with your fast"
Next sunday Akpos came to church with 7 wraps of Indian hem.

One word for Akpos!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-20 07:35:59

393 Views



Dirty mind [Read it]


Gal : ohh its too tight .

Boy : dont worry , i'll do it slowly .

Gal : put it in ..ohhh

boy : ahhh... I cant

gal : its pain full .

Boy : forget it ..

We wil buy a new weeding ring

god bless ur dirty mind


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-29 17:48:56

495 Views




It was one january morning,very early a pinching frosty,morning-the cove all grey with hoar-frost, the ripple lapping softly on the stones, the sun still low and only touching the hilltops and shinning far to sea-ward. The captain had risen earlier than usual, and set out down the beach,his cutlass swinging under the broad skirts of the old blue coat,his brass telescope under his arm,his hat tilted back upon his head. I remember his breath hanging like smoke in his wake as he strode off,and the last sound i heard of him as he turned the big rock was a loud snort of indigination as though his mind was still running upon Dr.Livesey.
Well mother was upstair with father;and i was laying the breakfast table against the captain's return,when the palour door opened and a man stepped in on whom i had never set my eyes on before. He was a pale,tallowy creature,wanting two finger of the left hand;and although he wore a cutlass,he did not look much like a fighter.i had always set my eyes open for seafaring men,with one leg or two and i remember this one puzzled me. He was not sailory and yet he had a smack of the sea about him too.
I asked him what was for his service,and he said he would take rum;but as i was going out of the room to fetch it,he sat upon a table and motioned me to draw near,i paused where i was with my napkin in my hand.
"come here, sonny", said he, "come nearer here".i took a step nearer.
"is this here table for my mate Bill?" he asked, with a kind of leer.i told him i did not know his mate Bill;and this was for a person who stayed in our house,whom we called the captain.
"well," he said, "my mate Bill would be called the captain,as like as not. He has a cut on one cheek,and a mighty pleasant way with him, particularly in drink,has my mate Bill. We'll put it, if you like that cheek's the right one. Ah, well i told you. Now,is my mate Bill in this house?"
I told him he was out walking.
"which way, sonny?which way is he gone?"
And when i pointed out the rock and told him how the captain was likely to return, and how soon,and answered a few other questions, "Ah," said he,"this'll be as good as drink to my mate Bill."
The expression of his face as said these words was not all pleasant,and i had my own reasons for thinking that the stranger was mistaken, even supposing he meant what he said.but it was no affair of mine, i thought; and besides it was difficult to know what to do.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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a very good frnd of mine disappeared after
commenting "AMEN" to a post on Facebook.....pls
be careful of d kinda prayers u comment
on......buh don't worry it wouldn't happen to u IN
JESUS NAME.......PLEASE TYPE AMEN TO CLAIM D
PRAYER......


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-07 17:28:55

469 Views




Mary welcomed me happily when i got to
her apartment. She gave me her usual
killing hug before letting me in.
“i have rice, i have soup, what’s your
choice?” she asked with a smile,
“just a cup of water please” i replied with a
nervous smile. She quietly served me
without asking any further question.
“so how are you dealing with Jboy’s stuff?”
she asked curiously after a while. I
breathed deeply and quietly told her
almost everything that needed to be told.
“you are really a good person. You know
some friends will simply move on without
bothering to help” she said with admiration
while i nodded and cleared my throat.
“so about the discussion i promised you.
I’m now ready for it” i opened the topic
bravely.
My new plan was to find a way of telling
her a bit of the truth concerning my real
feelings just like Chioma wanted even
though i knew it was far from being easy.
Since Jboy wasn’t available anymore and i
had the slightest clue on how to carry on
with the old plan alone. I had no choice
than to restrategize.
“fine, alright” she breathed slowly, her
expression quickly growing more serious.
“you know i have been indifferent to you
since i got out of jail?” i murmured. She
nodded curiously.
“it’s just as a result of the things that have
happened between us these past few
weeks. I can’t really explain further but do
believe that I’m trying hard to reciprocate
your love and everything. But it isn’t easy
for me, so don’t just expect anything more
for now” i poured out hesitantly while she
stared at me with shock.
“you are kidding me right?, i don’t
understand a word of what you just said?”
she asked hotly, her colour rapidly
changing.
“The promises i made while in jail was
simply for you to drop the case and set me
free, that notwithstanding, i do care for you
from the bottom of my heart” i pleaded to
calm her down,
“i still don’t get you, but i think i’m
beginning to understand” she hissed with
pain.
“so our relationship was never meant to
be. You just came to take advantage of me
like other guys huh. Now i understand, the
breakup, pregnancy, abortion, get together
and promises were just a ploy” she cried,
while i freaked out.
I quickly regreted following Chioma’s
advice. It was all wrong opening up to her
so soon without being prepared for the
resultant effect..
“Sometimes doing the right thing is not
always right” i reasoned.
I quickly drew close and held her.
“please be reasonable and understand me.
Those were my feelings for you but
everything has now changed because i’m
trying hard to love you. At least you can
appreciate my honesty” i poured out
solemnly.
“is our story really going to have a happy
ending?, should i move on with my life?”
she asked bitterly while i swallowed hard.
“please answer me, do i still have hope with
you?, or am i simply wasting the little time i
have left?” she asked seriously, her eyes
melting with grief and disappointment. I
was suddenly faced with a difficult
question.
Yes it was difficult because my answer will
definetly define the next stage of our
relationship.
Unfortunately, i chickened out.

>>

MY GIRLFRIEND [Read it]


One night, I was strolling with my
girlfriend when a hummer jeep packed
beside us and wind down, he signalled
to my girl to come but she turned and
looked at me and I being a gentleman
nodded in agreement for her to go, after all, I trusted her completely. After few minutes of conversation which
I couldn't hear, I saw my girlfriend
opened the door and entered. I was
shocked! I went to them and said,
"Wha's the meaning of this?!" They just sat in the car looking at me as
if I was an idiot. I became angrier when I saw the stupid
guy laughing at me, I shouted at my girl
and ordered her to come down from
the car at once. She shrugged and
calmly said, "Please BOLA, stop
embarrassing yourself! Go home and I will send you recharge card later."
#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-28 19:19:40

4965 Views



wash it Again [Read it]


Akpos wife had decided to trim the household budget wherever possible.
So instead of having the dirty clothes dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her
savings, she boasted to Akpos, 'Just
think honey(refering to akpos), we are ten thousand naira richer because I washed this dress by hand.' 'Good',Akpos quickly replied. 'Wash it
again.'
One word for akpos


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-26 21:20:04

673 Views




.
.
1. The most selfish one letter word.
" I "
Avoid it.
2. The most satisfying two letter word.
"We"
Use it.
3. The most poisonous three letter word.
"Ego"
Kill it.
4. The most used four letter word.
"Love"
Value it.
5. The most pleasing five letter word.
"Smile"
Keep it
6. The fastest spreading six letter word.
"Rumour"
Ignore it.
7. The hard working seven letter word.
"Success"
Achieve it.
8. The most enviable eight letter word.
"Jealousy"
Distance it.
9. The most powerful nine letter word.
"Knowledge"
Acquire it.
10. The most divine ten letter word.
"Friendship"
Maintain it....
Have Fun in life.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Bride [Read it]



Two brooms are getting married. Before the ceremony, the bride broom says to the groom broom, "I think I'm going to have a whisk."The groom broom says, "How can that be? We haven't even swept together!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-13 14:47:17

95 Views




I Luv Ruth but Rachael is gud in bed,abi make i just close my eye marry Hope,chaii how i go explain to nana say she no be my type ,temitope is gud only that she get body odour,shey lizzy no go kill me if tell her say i don't have any interest in her hmmmm i for go for Aisha only that she be hausa na cutlass her papa go take cut my head shey make i manage mary but she NO fit wash my boxer,see blessing wey i for marry she too fat,jenny self no fit cook,the only problem wey i have with esther be say her mama dey pour me hot water.wahala dey sha o.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-05 21:32:30

200 Views




Homosexuality is god’s way of insuring that the truly gifted aren’t burdened with children.

~ Sam AustinRelated

Laugh it out [Read it]


A Girl and boy were clubbing, d girl asked the boy, wat do u do for a living, the boy replied, i work in d nigerian stock exchange..., the girl was so excited, and told her friends about it in pride.. a week later, as d girl and her friends were walking around, they were surprised to see the boy dressed with an apron tied around his neck selling stockfish, d girl ran 2 him and shouted @him saying, u lied to me... d boy was so he asked her.. where are we. nigeria, i sell stockfish, if i sell to u and u give me money, wat is it called..Nigeria Stock Exchange


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-13 12:23:14

655 Views



Confession! [Read it]


A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
“You will understand,” he said, “the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an affair with his boss’s wife. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that, and I had, indeed come to, a fine parish full of understanding and loving people.”
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.
“I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.”Related
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