Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Minimum love is friendship;

Maximum friendship is love.Related

Facebook is the second most famous word that starts with an ‘F’ and ends with a ‘K’!Related

Continues..


In Preston’s room
Presley: what did you think you were doing?do
you
know your reactions could have turned to rape?
Do
you know you the kind of suffering she’s suffered in the hands of you and brenden?after
all what you did
to her insulting her and showing her hatred? Do
you
even think she loves you after hurting her?what
about laura why didnt you kiss her like that?
Preston:I broke up with laura. She might
probably be
in an hotel booking a flight to Australia
Presley:why? Sbebi you loved her before?
Preston:I don’t love her. Remember when we went to
my parents house when my father had a fatal
accident, be made a bargain with Laura’s dad
so he
could assist us with money to take care of his
hospital bills and to raise out family back to it’s
standards. Because my father has been giving
his money to
Laura’s dad in helping him to maintain a job
when he
leaves the house of assembly Presley:and that bargain was for you to marry
laura?
Preston yes(tear fully) I couldn’t disappoint my
father
let alone watch him die. I felt guilty for all that
happened to Milly but was too scared to show it because if laura had suspected something that
would
be the end of the bargain leaving my father to
die.
Presley:and you thought kissing her against her
wish will show the guilt you felt
Preston:I don’t know I was confused. I also
missed her badly. I really love her. But I don’t
know where to
start now I really don’t want her suffer again.
Presley help me with this one please
Preey:bro. I can’t I would love to but I just
can’t you
had your first chance with my assistance but you
blew it up. I don’t want to risk this again she
has suffered enough Preston:please believe me I would never hurt
her
again. I have made everything clear to my
father.
There won’t be a barrier or destruction
Presley:look you have to make the moves and I will
only encourage her. That’s the least I can do
Preston:thank you. I only hope she takes me
back.
Presley:she would have but you Just worsened
issues by doing what you just did.
Preston:I am so stupid
Presley: are you just knowing that? Guy abeg I
need to
go see miranda. Back in my room
Miranda:come on Milly please open the door na. Please
Me:miranda go am fine
Miranda:please na please. If you don’t open
this door
and you later do I will not talk to you and I will
give you everything you have given to me. Me:is that a threat?
Miranda:I am serious
I opened the door and she entered inside. She sat
with
me on the bed
Miranda:I hope you are not hurt?is your lips injured? Me:I am Fine nothing to worry about. I
just hate him
Miranda:haha. Its too early to hate someone I am
sure
he did it for a reason. Preston is not like that
I told her all what happened between him and laura
Miranda:no wonder I have not seen the witch
around.
Hmm Preston’s family must be hell in need
right noe Me:what are you suggesting?
Miranda:well I suggest you go back to him an sort
things out since we know the reason now.
Please
Me:I don’t know I will think about it. But I am
not sure
he has hurt me enough Miranda:forgive him and everything would be
fine sooner than you think.
Presley came in
Presley:how are you doing?
Me:I am better its as if nothing happened
Presley:uhmmmm. I just wanted to plead on Preston’s
behalf he already told me the reason Me:about
Laura’s family and his family?
Presley: how did you know that?
Me:I eavesdropped on them before Laura left
Presley:wow!now we all know the reason can’t you
give him a second chance? We both know you
can
help him out and his family Me:yeah I can. But he
almost raped me. I feel like I am
being used here to settle their s-x thirst Presley:he loves you very much. Please just give
him
a second chance. He missed you that was why
he did
what he did earlier. Please forgive him he isnt
like that Miranda:please please and please…

WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 61

WILL MILLY ACCEPT PRESTON OR SHOULD MILLY
ACCEPT
PRESTON?
WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN NEXT??


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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When you determine what you want, you have made the most important decision of your life. You have to know what you want in order to attain it.

~ Douglas LurtonRelated

Mum or Dad [Read it]


Dad: Who do you like more, Mum or Dad?
Son: Both.
Dad: Ok if I go to America and your mum goes to Paris, where will you go
Son: Paris
Dad: That means you like your mum more?
Son: No, I like Paris. 
Dad: OK, if I go to Paris and your mum goes to America, where will you go
Son: America.
Dad: [angry] Why!?
Son: 'cos I've been to Paris before!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-23 22:24:48

235 Views




Indomie and Pepsi will be using Style to insult Nigerians
…..1st it was Indomie hungry Man size.
Now it’s pepsi Long throat bottle.
Very soon dem go introduce:
Gala ” ole size”
chin chin “olojukokoro pack”
Egg roll “awoof size”
Lacasera ” thief bottle”
Biscuit “olonje iya size”
Bobo drink “overbelle full pikin”
Fanmilk “agbero size" Coca-Cola " orobo size"............... ADD YOUR OWN OO!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-10 14:10:45

436 Views




A woman walks into a chemist’s and asks if they sell extra-large condoms.

‘Yes, we do,’ says the sales assistant.
‘Would you like to buy some?’

‘No thanks,’ replies the woman.
‘But if you don’t mind, I’ll wait here for someone who does because i want it hard.
"Really, i do use extra-extra large", replied the man.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-23 07:31:35

804 Views



LASSA FEVER [Read it]


Because of lassa fever I have been
TURNING DOWN friend requests
from ladies bearing: basiRAT,
kubuRAT, kabiRAT, sikiRAT,
shakiRAT, monsuRAT, muniRAT,
etc.. Its not my fault am just being careful
2.
See the attendance of a church this
evening oooo
Total no. Of Human being in church -
70 Total no. Of Bibble brought to
church - 50
Total no. Of Charger in church - 159
Abeg shea na people wan enter
heaven or na charger.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-20 15:39:30

356 Views



Who pushed me [Read it]


A man had one very beautiful daughter.When the
daughter was ready for marriage, the father sent
news around town that all the eligible young men
should come to compete in a testwhich would
determine who was fit to marry his
daughter...On
that day, all was set, all the able-bodied young
men
came out. Some came with paper and biro and
others with cutlasses and swords...The rich man
took them to hisswimming pool and addressed
the
men: “Any of you who can swim from one end of
this swimming pool to the other would marry my
daughter...In addition, I‘ll give him 15million
dollars, a car and a house so they can start life
well. I shall be waiting to meet my son-in-law at
the other end. Good luck!”..As the young men, all
very excited at the prospect of winning, started
taking off their shirts, a helicopter came over the
pool and droppedalligators and crocodiles into
the
pool. Immediately, all the men turned back and
started wearing their shirts again. Disappointed,
some of them said, ''That's crazy,.lets see who
would marry that girl ,no one will'...All of a
sudden, they heard a splash in the pool.
Everybody
watched in amazement as one gentleman
waddled
across, expertly avoiding the alligators and
crocodiles...Finally, he made it to the other side.
The rich man could not believe it. He asked the
young man to name anything he wanted but the
man was still panting uncontrollably...Finally, he
got back to his senses and made a request saying,
''SHOW ME THE PERSON WHO PUSHED ME
INSIDE THIS POOL!''


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-03 19:00:19

623 Views




Policeman (after the collision): You saw this lady driving toward you. Why didn’t you give her the road?

Santa: I was going to, as soon as I could discover which half she wanted!Related

There was a party that many rich people attended. The host had recently built a tank with many alligators, paranas, and many other things that could kill you. The host said that if anyone could swim across the tank, he would, to the best of his ability, grant them 3 wishes.
Well, nobody was up to the challenge, so everyone just started having a good time and doing that "party thing."
Suddenly, there was this big splash! The host looked and saw abbey swimming to beat hell across the tank, and, look and behold, he made it!
The host walked over to the man and said, "Alright, you made it, WOW!. What are your 3 wishes?" The man replied, "First, you see that shotgun of yours? give it to me , Two, see those bullets over there? give me them, 3, show me the bastard who pushed me into that pool."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-23 00:30:15

472 Views




Akpos walked into
class with black eye.
The Teacher
asked,"What
happened?"
Akpos replied, "My
house is very small.
Me, my mum and my
dad sleep on the same
bed. Every night, my
dad asks; 'Akpos are
you sleeping?' I say no
and he slaps my face
and gives me a black
eye."
The Teacher then
said, "Tonight when
your dad asks again,
keep dead quiet and
don't answer."
The following morning,
Akpos comes again to
school with a severe
black eye. The
Teacher exclaimed,
"Oh my God! Akpos
why the black eye
again?"
Akpos said, "Last
night my dad asked
me again, Akpos are
you sleeping. I didn't
answer. I just kept
dead quiet. Then my
dad and my mum
started moving. At
the same time mum
was breathing
erratically, kicking her
legs up frantically and
squealing like a hyena
on the bed. Then my
dad asked my mum;
'Are you coming?' My
Mum said; 'Yes! I'm
coming. Are you
coming too?' My Dad
answered; 'Yes.' They
don't usually go
anywhere without me
so I said, wait for me,
I'm also coming!"



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-19 17:16:18

442 Views




One to one relationship is possible only when two egos are dropped.

Otherwise there’re four persons involved, two real and two imaginary!Related

DAD APPROVED [Read it]


A son wrote 2 his dad:
condition critical @ school, send
money or else suicide.
The Dad replied: situation@ home very
terrible, suicide approved


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-11-10 17:11:01

456 Views




Lola: brother;you are hurt right(enter Isabella)
Zippor: it doesn't matter(tears roll his eyes)fine;i admit;i am hurt and disappointed that she is letting go that easily;i thought she wouldn't agree to live with him for now;but i wouldn't blame her;who wouldn't be happy to find her real family;is there any?
Lola: no;but....
Zippor: all my life;all that i wish for is for her to be happy and that one day;i could give her the joy she deserve for this reason i am not going to make her feel bad for wanting to know her real family(tears rolls Isabella's eyes)i am happy for her
Lola: are you sure that is what you want?
Zippor: yes;when she is gone;i will learn to live without her but not to forget about her(they hugged each other)
Zeal: what did he say and why are you crying?
Isabella: he felt i betrayed him
Zeal: is that what he told you?
Isabella: no;he is hurt but doesn't want to tell me because all he wanted was my happiness
Zeal: so what will you do?do you want to stay back?
Isabella: no;i will back his bags also
Zeal: alright(she pack everything)
Zippor: princess;are you done. alright;let me help put your bag in the care(he saw his bags)hold on;why are you bring out my bags?
Zeal: you are coming with us
Lola: what?
Zeal: yes;he is now going to live with me;he is one of mine now
Zippor: i don't get Isabella;i know you are the one who made this opinion
Isabella: even if it was;lets go
Zippor: Isabella;i can't;what will they think of me?i don't want to
Isabella: no one will think bad about you;if they don't like you that means they don't like me also
Zippor: don't be silly;just go ahead;leave me alone
Isabella: fine;if you are not leaving then i am staying because i can't stay without air,now i know that you are waiting for this day to come;so that i can set you free and you want me dead
Zippor: will you stop it,fine,i will go with you and stay for a week then return
Isabella: no;is too short a time for me to adjust. lets say a month
Zippor: no i cant
Isabella: please;Lola beg him for me
Lola: alright;brother;is just a month
Zeal: please;i beg you
Zippor: alright;i will
Isabella: thank you very much brother(curtain)
Obedient: Zuriel;where are you going?
Zuriel: i don't even know
Obedient: why are you sad?
Zuriel: i am not
Obedient: you are...
Zuriel: Obedient;i should be the one asking you;if you are okay
Obedient: you are my brother so i should care about you
Zuriel: i know you care about your baby brother but have you been able to see Obed?
Obedient: no,i haven't
Zuriel: alright;try as much as possible to visit him and tell him that we all love him;no matter what?
Obedient: i will(enter Zippor/Isabella/Zeal)
Melisa: son can you accompany me to....
Zuriel: i cant;i have something to do
Zippor: good day ma
Melisa: how are you?
Zippor: fine ma and you
Zeal: surprise;from now on Isabella will be living with us
Obedient: really dad?(enter Alice)
Zeal: of cause;and she have every right to live here with me and as for you(to Alice)make sure you treat my daughter well and please come with me
Alice: no problem sir
Zeal: call Mercy to show them their room
Obedient: alright sir(exit Zeal/Alice)come on Isabella;are you not happy to be here?
Isabella: of cause;i am at least;i will get to know my dad
Obedient: what about your mother?
Isabella: my mother is dead(she look at Melisa)so excuse me(tears roll Melisa's eyes)
Zuriel: excuse me too
Melisa: stop it (exit Zuriel)
Zippor: don't worry ma;i will talk to him
Melisa: alright thanks(curtain)
Zippor: hey young man;why are you crying?real men don't cry
Zuriel: really so?how come i see you crying when Isabella got hurt?
Zippor: fine;you caught me there;mother used to says when i was a baby i cried a lot and that when i start growing up;whenever someone hit me and i get hurt;instead of crying;i will always say real men don't cry. (he laughed)then i will go out from the sight of everyone and cry out my eyes(he continue laughing)
Zuriel: you funny
Zippor: but i am not telling you this for you to go out and cried(he continued laughing)
Zuriel: you are really something else
Zippor: at least;i made you laughed;you were really uptight then;i almost get scared of saying i am older than you(laughing continued)don't forget to always smile,it reduce your stress(enter Obedient/Melisa)
Zuriel: yes boss
Zippor: good boy
Zuriel: thanks
Zippor: Zuriel
Zuriel: yes
Zippor: why are you sad?if you don't want to talk about it;fine;i will let you have your way;i am not going to.....
Zuriel: i am sad;i am just scared that i may not be able to fit into your family and that mom and dad will stop loving me and...
Zippor: you wouldn't know until you try;your mom and dad truly love you;if they don't;do you think they will still have you under their roof?they would had long sent you out in the cool. don't you see that every time you snob her;she always get hurt cant you see it
Zuriel: but i didn't mean to
Zippor: i know that you are a good boy;so you cant hurt those you love. you have such a good heart
Zuriel: thank you;but what about you?
Zippor: me?i don't understand(enter Isabella)
Zuriel: do you love me?will you love me just like Isabella?
Zippor: (he laughed)you are so cunning;come here(he dragged his nose)don't ever think that i will love you just like Isabella(he frown)a father love is always enough to distribute among his kids,just as my love is sufficient;i love you more;not more than Isabella or like her but i love you just the way you are
Zuriel: really?
Zippor: of cause
Zuriel: thank you
Zippor: you welcome;i go ahead and check on Isabella
Zuriel: alright
Zippor: later(he turn to leave)
Zuriel: you too brother(he turned and hugged him)
Zippor: i love you brother;i really have a brother(Isabella ran inside and hit Ada mistakenly)
Ada: watch it young lady
Isabella: sorry
Ada: why are you crying?
Isabella: is nothing
Ada: if you say so
Isabella: yes;i say so
Ada: suite yourself(curtain)
Obedient: mom;you are smiling
Melisa: i am happy that my son is happy(enter Zuriel)even if he is not smiling at me;i am happy with it
Zuriel: mom;will you stop crying;you are hurting me
Melisa: i am sorry son;i didn't mean to deprive you of your family;i am sorry;i didn't tell you the truth. please forgive me (she cried)
Zuriel: stop it;you are still my mother;you know when cry;i cant bear it;so please stop hurting yourself because you are hurting me too
Melisa: i won't cry anymore
Zuriel: i love you mom
Melisa: i love you too;please promise me;you wouldn't leave me
Zuriel: i promise
Obedient: whoa!can we get a round hug
Zuriel: of cause(curtain)
Joab: what are you doing here?
Zeal: i came to see you
Joab: i don't want to see you
Zeal: fine;you can turn your back but you have to listen to what i want to say
Joab: that is your business
Zeal: exactly;is my business;i really do not want your opinion at all because i am taking custody of my child Isabella and i am going to have an affidavit from the court in order for her to be fully know to be my biological daughter
Joab: that is your business
Joab: definitely;and i am going to file charges against you for maltreating my daughter
Joab: give me back my son
Zeal: your son?i don't think you know what you are saying;prisoners don't have kids and should in case you think i am not going to do anything,you are just kidding because i will make sure you spent the rest of your life here
Joab: even if i am in prison;i will fight to get my family back
Zeal: your family?you don't deserve a family;anyway don't worry about them;very soon,i will take your entire family from you. now that i have your two sons;i will give them the life you couldn't give to them
Joab: if you think Zipper is that gullible;you are mistaken because he will never accept you
Zeal: your son Zippor;is a very lovable boy;what u see in his eyes is the love of a father;that is what he is looking for but that is what you couldn't give him and that is what i will give him and he is a good boy. so i love him also as i love Zuriel
Joab: you are a monster;stay away from my son Zippor
Zeal: too late because they are mine now
Joab: you are a monster;monster that is what you are(he walked away)stay away from my family
Obed: i thought you don't want to see me
Obedient: why?
Obed: is simple because I raped her
Obedient: brother;no matter what happen,you are still my twin;everyone make mistake at one point in time;you never ever castigate me;even when you find out that i was involved with a stupid scandal,you still accepted me
Obed: its a enough;how is everyone?dad?
Obedient: he is okay
Obed: alright and Zuriel
Obedient: he is just trying to be fine;even though deep down in him;he is hurt;he is just trying to cope with life
Obed: i felt for him and to say he is deprive of knowing his real mother
Obedient: yes;so many things had happen to that boy

Obed: i just hope he can still pull through
Obed: he is strong;he can always pull through;you;how are you?
Obed: i am fine
Obedient: are you sure?
Obed: yep;i will be okay
Obedient: if you say so.
Warder: hey young man;visiting time is over
Obed: okay;i go ahead;say me well to mom
Obedient: bye(curtain)

Zuriel: one minute you think your life is perfect and the next its a total mess
Zippor: yes;that is how life is;life is up and down,its like a ball that continued to roll
Obedient: yes;it does change with time
Zeal: and that is why we all should move with the changes instead of staring at the side mirror of a moving vehicle which show only the passed and things behind
Zuriel: sometimes the passed is always present in the future
Zippor: yes because every pain we felt in the past always come hurting
Obedient: even if we try so hard to forget it
Zuriel: yes;it wouldn't just go away;is always in our heart,right?
Zippor: that is why it become difficult for us to forgive those who cause us thus pains
Zeal: yes but we have to learn to forgive;son ;please go get me my phone and you all should stop having this conversation. it makes one depress
Obedient: alright;dad i go get it
Zeal: i am not talking to you
Obedient: father
Zeal: please;stop i am not ready to face you yet. excuse me
Obedient: i am sorry(he cried)
Zuriel: that is enough
Zippor: don't worry everything will be fine
Obedient: i hope so(curtain)
Lola: hey sister;how are you?
Katherina: will you stop acting like care
Lola: you know that i love you and i hate to see you sad
Katherina: no;you don't;i do not have sibling because all of my suppose sibling are interested in making other people happy instead of me. you all choose Isabella over me and no one else you love except her
Lola: that is not true;we both love you;everyone of us are family;what happen to you? you remember....
Katherina: i remembered nothing;just let me be(exit Katherina)

Lola: what have come over her?
Zippor: hey Isabella;come sit
Isabella: thank you(she sat down)brother
Zippor: what?
Isabella: can we go to the Charm swimming pool
Zippor: to do what?(enter Obedient/Ada/Zuriel)
Isabella: don't be silly;to swim of cause
Obedient: we have swimming pool here
Isabella: i don't want that one;please

Zippor: alright;anything for my sweet;i know how you like it
Isabella: does it mean is a yes?
Zippor: yes but on one condition that its your treat
Isabella: brother;you know i haven't been pay this month
Zippor: that is enough(he dragged her closer)my treat
Isabella: thank you(she kissed him)
Zippor: anything for you
Ada: can i come?
Zippor: sure;you can and Zuriel;you can join us
Isabella: what?
Zippor: why are you screaming?
Isabella: is nothing(she starred at Zuriel)
Zuriel: don't worry buddy;just go ahead;i will stay at home
Zippor: are you sure
Zuriel: yes;take care brother
Zippor: alright my baby brother(he hugged him)shall we
Isabella: of cause;i will just go and get dress
Ada: me too(exit Zippor/Ada/Isabella)
Obedient: Zuriel;why didn't you go with them
Zuriel: is obvious,she doesn't want me to go with her
Obedient: why do think so?
Zuriel: i know so;she is my friend,so i understand her
Obedient: alright;i go ahead
Zuriel: is okay

Aliceto herself) what kind of life is this?my son is in prison but here i am enjoying the comfort of a nice bed and a mosquito free room;i just feel useless because i cant do anything to help him;what am i living for
Mercy: ma food is ready
Alice: will you get out of my sight useless girl. is it food that is my problem?(enter Melisa)
Mercy: but ma
Alice: i said get out and leave me alone
Melisa: is alright Mercy;let her be
Mercy: what is going on with you?
Alice: everything went wrong from the very day you get pregnant and up till now;that devil of your daughter is still causing trouble for me
Melisa: she is not my daughter
Alice: i don't care if she is not your daughter;just go and bring my son for me(enter Zeal)
Melisa: take it easy;i am really sorry for everything,i know how you feel
Alice: leave me alone and stop pretending like you care(she pushed her)
Zeal: go on;pushed her,if you like don't eat;Mercy told me,'you haven't eaten since last night' i am not begging you to eat because you are saving my food
Alice: i want my son
Zeal: dream of it and watch it fade away because just as i have no plans of begging you to eat;i also do not have any plans of letting your son off the hook,he will remain there
Alice: if you don't release my son;then this house will be hell on earth
Zeal: suite yourself
Alice: Zeal;give me back my son(she held him)
Zeal: let go of me(he pushed her)don't you dare go out of this house all in the name of visiting that useless son of yours
Melisa: Zeal;so you have no plan of releasing ....
Zeal: hey you,just shut up;stupid(exit Zeal)
Alice: you see what you are causing me
Melisa: is not my fault but your useless rapist of a son
Alice: alright;go on run your mouth
Melisa: nonsense;is not like i care
Alice: you will soon care when i inflect pains on you
Melisa: suite yourself(curtain)
Mark: brother;what is Mr Zeal doing about you?
Joab: that man is a monster;my lawyer wasn't able to get bail for me
Mark: but why?
Joab: he has used his influence to sit on it
Mark: but why us he acting this way?
Joab: and the funny thing is that;he is taking away all my family from me;first it was Zuriel and now Zippor
Mark: don't tell me Zippor live with him?
Joab: of cause;he does
Mark: what?
Joab: yes;he said 'he is going to take good care of him' and you if he carry out his plan then Zippor will never returned to me because i hurt that boy endlessly
Mark: what do we do now?
Joab: i am hopeless(he cried)i have no family;no one and even my son;Zuriel doesn't love me
Mark: is a enough;everything will be fine
Joab: i hope so(curtain)







TO BE CONTINUE......



going am


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Just wanna make U laugh tonight , but take it easy
Pls! Yorùbá Mothers are one of
the best when it comes to
child upbringing. Yorùbá Mothers produce
the
best range of slaps: IGBATI, IFOTI, IGBAJU,
IBOJU, IGBARUN, IFORUN, IFAKUN, ILADI, ABARA.
These slaps
will
make you
think you were adopted. IGBATI will make
you correct
your wrongs instantly! The beauty of IFOTI is, you
will confess your sins on the
spot. IGBARUN, IGBAJU and IFORUN
will make you expose those who committed the
crime
with you without hesitation. ABARA and ILADI will
make
you pee in your new pant. Now ABARA is
the worst…
You will attempt to rub
where it landed but ur hand won’t reach up to it. And
apart from
IGBAJU, we
have an advanced one which is IGBAJU OLOYI. When
you receive that
one,
you’ll lose balance and your head will
go into “auto-search” as
you’ll be wondering what hit you. This will make you
confess the
greatness
of God! OH! IGBAJU OLOYI… it can
reset someone to 3D (DEAF,
DUMB, and DAFT). God bless our parents for the
good
upbringing. If you
were brought-up
in Yoruba Land, regardless of how caring
your mother was, you most have
encountered these
slaps… Have you?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-27 22:55:40

294 Views




Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma
a question if they aren't prepared for the
answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town
prosecuting attorney called his first witness,
a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the
stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs.
Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why,
yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known
you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've
been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you
cheat on your wife, and you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their
backs. You think you're a big shot when you
haven't the brains to realize you'll never
amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what
else to do, he pointed across the room and
asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known
Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he
has a drinking problem. He can't build a
normal relationship with anyone, and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire
state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife
with three different women. One of them was
your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach
the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows
me, I'll send you both to the electric
chair....... #hit like if u get it or comment....... #B-goF #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-07-23 13:32:24

453 Views



True love test [Read it]


GIRL: sweety, do you really love me and wish to marry me?
BOY: Yes baby, In short, I love you pass my mama
GIRL: From your heart?
BOY: Yes baby.

Two weeks later
GIRL: I think am sick
BOY: how do you feel baby.
GIRL: My waste is just heavy.
BOY: Don't worry it may just be that you over stressed yourself.

Next day
BOY: baby, how do you feel now.
GIRL: sweety, i can't explain again o o. Can you believe i had vomited 3 times today
BOY [fear grip him]: Jesus!!! Are you serious?
GIRL: Yes baby, my tummy is equally aching me. Feel so dizzy.
BOY: Mary, what do you think?
GIRL: I think am pregnant. Shey i warned you.

Next day
GIRL calling BOY on phone
No ans
She called again and again
No ans
She called for the 20th time
Phone switched off.

Next day
GIRL gave BOY surprise visit.
BOY: who are you looking for?
GIRL: So you don't know me again? Me Mary, your love.
BOY: Mary or what ever you call yourself, just bundle yourself out of my house.
GIRL: I will, but before i go just know that am not pregnant. It was just a test. And you failed.
She left.
BOY runing after her saying "Please honey forgive me"

If you are the GIRL will you accept him back.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-26 14:44:47

5668 Views



A trip to Italy [Read it]


Ekaitte (akpor’s wife) goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her a good trip.
Ekaittes : ‘Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?’
Akpors: laughs and says: ‘An Italian girl!!!’
The wife kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and
asks: 'So, honey, how was the trip?’
'Very good, thank you.' replied the wife
'And, what happened to my present?'
'Which present?’ She asked.
'The one I asked for – an Italian girl!!’
'Oh, that' she said 'Well, I did what I could, now we
have to wait for 9 months to see if it is a girl !!!’

Moral of the story: Don’t tempt a woman, they are dangerously intelligent!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-05 19:00:57

26314 Views



The toothpicks. [Read it]


Akpos master came back from work,and Akpos served hm,hs food.after eating he realised that there is no toothpick,out of anger he called Akpos.the folowing conversation ensued.
Akpos master:why is it dat the toothpicks finishes faster than normal.
Akpos:i dont knw maybe is ur children bcos i always return it after using.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-21 21:33:29

434 Views




I stoped about a 100 metres from the school gate to
examine myself. I wiped off some sweats, cleaned my shoes
and so on.
I took a quick glance at my wristwatch before resuming my
cleaning exercise.
8am? Yikes! I don over late.
I quickened my pace and in no time, the school gate was
just a few steps away.
Eric was standing there, alongside David and some other
prefects. Some 'late- comers' too were kneeling down.
"Good morning senior" I flexed my knees, already I was
working out some excuses...
"bad morning to you! Join them!" Eric snarled gesturing
towards the other students.
"Let her go in now, you know they're writing J.S.C.E
exams...they would start by nine." David was pleading with
Eric.
"No, she must be punished!" Eric said with a note of finality.
"what's even your business with this girl? Ehn?" he added.
"kneel down there!" he ordered me.
"You don't have the authority!" David retorted at him.
"who has? You?" Eric sneered
"Get inside!" David told me.
I stood up sharply, dusted my bag, and walked past Eric.
"come back here!" Eric pulled me back.
I shrieked feigning pain, pretending to loose my balance.
David quickly held me to steady my balance.
"You don't dare rough handle her!" He growled at Eric.
"Why? Cos she's your girlfriend? See this small boy o!" Eric
sneered.
Quick as a flash, I saw David raise his hand and his palm
landed on Eric's cheek.
"How dare you?" Eric darted towards him. They engaged in
a scuffle, David beating up Eric.
I didn't stand to watch the show, I ran quickly towards the
classroom, I needed to revise my notes. Who separated the
fight? I didn't care.
:::::***::::::
Ayo rang the bell. "School closed" He yelled.
Every student excitedly picked up their bags, lunch boxes
and what have you- they all hurried out of school.
For some reasons, I remained seated in my position.
"Teju, won't you go home?" Bisi asked me strapping her
bag.
I bit my lower lip, they send this girl to me ni?!
"Teejumoolaaa..." she cooed
"Biiissiii" I replied.
"won't you go home?"
"When did you become my guardian? Ehn?" I queried
"Nooo, I was just trying to.."
she tried to explain.
"Shut up! Over sabi-sabi! Did we come to school together
this morning?" I cut her short.
"Okay, sorry o." she walked away, leaving me alone in the
now- empty class.
Good riddance! I rather remained in school than go back
home to see Maami's ugly face.
The school became quite, only for some low voices from the
staff room. I played around the class, mimicked some
teachers, practiced some dance steps, I even practiced
some kung fu, Imagining Maami as my opponent,punching
her ugly face and kicking her buttocks, just to while away
time.
I glanced at my wristwatch; 4:30pm. Good! Atleast with
30mins trekking, I'll get home by 5pm. I quickly rehearsed
my plans.
Firstly, I go to the kitchen, fill my bag with bread and 5 packs
of indomie.
Secondly, greet maami before hiding in my room.
That woman can't kill me! Besides i havent paid for my
practicals.Maami refused to give me money.
I got to the school gate and saw a boy in uniform standing
there.
Maybe he is waiting for their family driver to pick him up,
spoilt rich man's children.
"Hey!" David said, standing up
"Good afternoon senior." I replied.
"what are you still doing in school?" He asked.
See question, you too what are doing here!
"Errm, I stayed back to revise some notes." I said instead
"Oh really? That's nice" he shook his head like an agama
lizard
"I've been waiting for my driver, the guy doesn't wanna
show up" he added with a weary look.
Did I ask you? Can't you trek?
"Eeyaah, sorry senior." I said wearing a pitying face.
"your driver is here to pick you?" he asked
Driver ke!
"Noo, me I'm trekking o"
"Wow, that could be fun!" his eyes glinted, his dimples
showing.
Fun! Indeed! I smiled.
"Can I join you?, I mean, lets trek together?" he was smiling
too,and those dimples...Oh! I was a sucker for dimples.
"okay, no problem." I sounded like someone important.
He picked his books, and we trekked home together.
That was how we became friends. We always trekked home
together, no more driver coming to pick him up.
We'd stay back in school after closing for hours doing
nothing in particular.
He always bought me snacks and carbonated drinks during
breaktime,I always collected them with 'thanks'.I told him
about some fees i havent paid in the school and he paid
them for me.Our friendship grew.hmmm,like seriously.He
was a true friend to me.He was my brother,my sister,my
mother and even my father because my real father has no
time for me,his beautiful daughter.
No prefect dares to punish me anymore, I became more
stubborn and efficient in my trouble making.




NAIRAJOKES.COM




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I've you noticed:


1. If you suck one nipple well the woman herself offers you the other one; This was the origin of "buy one get one free".


2. Virginity is like a bubble; one prick and it's gone.


3. Things girls do: They tell you "harder!", then tell you "stop!", "baby baby baby slowly"; what do they really want?


4. The interior decorator say to the girl: Once its in, you will love it.


5. Relationship nowadays: love at FIRST sight, sex at FIRST night and breakup at FIRST fight.


6. Sometimes, the d**k get hard for no reason.


7. It is not only the sun that rise in the morning, guys you know what I mean.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-25 16:22:10

648 Views




"David,you have been reserved and taciturn.You have refused answering my questions and i cant condone it any longer.What happened to my daughter.What led to her fainting"Mr.Uwa asked,the pain and anger of his daughter still missing,showing all over him.It was already getting dark.They just returned from the police station after making a report.

"Did she fight with the maid? Were they fighting?"His wife added.
David shifted on the chair where he sat and stole glances at them.He felt bad within himself.He didn't know how to tell his inlaws what happened because all these while he had felt like someone under someone else's control.
He concluded it would be better if Angela told them by herself.

"She just fainted.Nothing more.What else do you want me to say"David replied calmly,pacing up and down.

"Who's that woman we saw earlier? Is she the mother of the maid? And why were they leaving with the bag which i believe is hers?"Mrs uwa asked.

"She is her mother.oh,what do i do now? Where else do i go in search of Angela"David lamented,carefully avoiding more questions.

"Pray nothing happens to my daughter because if anything happens to her,you will regret it"Mr uwa assured him while signaling to his wife to follow him as they have stayed too long.

"Wherever my daughter is,the living God that i serve will protect her.David,You must show me where they live"Mrs uwa who stood on her feet,said,referring to David.

"Is it necessary? i went there severally,she wasnt there.Nobody was at home"David replied her.

***Mr.Uwa's house***
"I have been thinking"Angela's mother whispered to her husband,reaching for her bible.

"What about?"Her husband asked.

"Do you remember that Adaora's two children died with her husband in that ghastly motor accident that made headlines on several news forum?"She asked.

"I do remember that"

"I was suprised when they said she's the mother of that girl Angela brought in"She said vaguely.

"She might have adopted her"

"My mind doesnt seem to think that way.We have to get going,the pastor and prayer warriors would soon be arriving at the church for the vigil.Trust God,Angela will return safe and sound.Our God answers prayers"She assured him and glanced at the wall clock. 9:15PM

"Everything is happening so fast but i believe my daughter is safe.God will protect her"He agreed.


The air was filled with the voices of prayer;a miraculous medium of miracles.Prayer,which changes things beyond human comprehension.
The prophetic voice of the pastor was heard saying that Angela is in great danger but needs divine grace.At a point,he called out her husband's name,telling everyone to pray upon him for liberation from any power acting upon him.

****
David woke up the next morning feeling so fresh,despite being up in thoughts all night till sleep stole him at the early hours of the morning.He rubbed his hands against his eyes,surely,something he couldnt explain died in him last night.
Tears trickled down from his eyes when he remembered what he has been doing.He had been busy going against the promise he made to Angela on the alter.He had been commiting adultery with their housemaid.
"What happened to you David? What went wrong",he wept,"Forgive me Angela,i have wronged you,please come back to me.If you leave me forever,i will never forgive myself.Oh God please bring Angela back to me..."

****

Angela's eyes were swollen.She cried all night,while gigantic mosquitoes feasted on her delicate skin.She was kept in an uncompleted building with two young men watching over her.She was too weak to cry again, they didnt give her anything to eat.She wished someone she knew comes to her aid just as it happened in the dream.She blamed herself for not telling her mom about it;perhaps,they might have prayed it away.
She just laid there,tied hands and legs pretending to be asleep.
She soon felt a touch and opened her eyes,it was Ebere.

"How do you feel,dear friend?"she asked with a wicked smile.

"My God is alife and He will surely vindicate me because i am innocent of your accusations.I have finally come to believe that the devil you know is better than the angel you dont.Ebere you are a betrayer"Angela weakly said and spat on her with enough strength.

"Have your fun,you may never be able to do that again for life",Ebere said using her handkerchief on her face,"i advice you start saying your last prayers because before dawn tomorrow,you would be no more.i'm sorry.And corncerning sonia,dont worry,she is not taking over your home.she is going to jail for murder"


Sonia and her mother were at her aunt's place whom they pleaded to let them stay with her for a little time watching the mid day news when Sonia saw it.Her photo was shown on the television with the caption,"wanted"
According to the new,she ran away from home with her mother when she discovered that someone saw her kill somebody.
Hot tears rolled down from her eyes as she fell into her mother's arm,sobbing sorrowfully in fear.

To Be continued.....

Come on guy, lets make this stories more interactive. Drop your contribution, predictions, observation etc


>>

Why I can't love


Episode 8.


Francis was an occult which I never knew. We
went out that evening where the official proposal
was made. I accepted the proposal with all my
heart . Not knowing, as a demand from his occult
group, he was supposed to marry a disabled
person in replace of his late wife. He actually used
that woman for sacrifice. The whole thing was
just like a dream come true for him. Because with
he being able to marry me will mean a promotion
in his ranks as an occult, increased wealth and
fame. He was supposed to sacrifice his first born
that he will have with the woman, and initiate the
woman into the group afterwards since they
lacked women. His father was much aware of this
but lied to me. hmmm. So after his father
spoke to him about me, he informed his occult
masters about it and that was when they gave him
the go- ahead to marry me. On the day he
officially proposed to me, he actually made me
feel that despite my disability, I was still worth
loving. He said a lot of things to me just to
encourage me and also increased my desire to
have him on my side. I realized he had some
qualities of William (my all in all). He narrated
how his late wife died just before their honeymoon
through accident and how painful the death was
to him but all that he said were fallacies . I equally
sympathized with him just as any other person
would do . Within two weeks of we knowing each
other, he proposed marriage to me. Before that
marriage proposal, we never had anything to do
with sex. He disguised himself to be a very
righteous person. so I knew he was in for good.
He do bring me to work and would come for me
after work. I can't even count the number of gifts
he gave to me. He was just too nice to be with. I
almost forgot about William. People will say travel
and see????. There are better things out there but
am not relegating the fact that William was
among the best lovers this world have ever
produced. My co-workers who do stigmatize,
discriminate against me and referred to me as the
devil's incarnate started to get jealous of me. Now
their defense was that, I charmed Francis because
they saw no reason why a very rich, young and
good looking guy like Francis could easily fall for
a one eyed person who doubled up to be colour
blinded. To be honest, Francis was a very nice
looking guy who was 43 years by then. Wealth
was nothing before him. At his age, he had three
mansion for himself and one for his parents. He
also has four cars. But the interesting thing was
that, he couldn't mention an exact business he
does to me. Anytime I asked, he will only say he
was a business man in the United states. Little did
I also know that he was a drug dealer coupled
with the occultism. But his father once told me his
son works with an engineering firm in the states
so That was what I knew he was. That was why I
didn't pressure him to stress on his professional
career. Within a month and a half of his stay in
Ghana, we went to see my parents for them to
advice us regarding our marriage ceremony which
was in the offing. My mother was surprised to
hear me tell her that Francis never touched me
since we started dating. My parents, especially
my mom was happy to see me get married. They
were happy not just because I was getting
married, but also getting married to an 'American
borga'???? who was dorsted with wealth. I wished
you were there to witness my engagement
ceremony. More than that of the princess of Brazil
????. People from far and near, media men and
women, my family members, staffs from both
GES and GNAT, etc. I was overwhelmed to see
that multitude. It was a very colorful and
glamorous event. Francis promised that the
wedding itself would be held in the states where
some top ministers of the states and other
dignitaries in America will be in full attendance. It
got to a point and it was as if I was daydreaming.
Because how could such an opportunity get to a
common person like me????? I asked myself. All I
said to answer myself was "what belongs to you
will always be yours. " little did I know that Francis
was just building castles in the sky. People still
find it difficult to decipher how this great chance
could locate me. Still no sex after the
engagement? How????? When I asked him why
we can't have sex, he said his church permits sex
only after wedding. I asked him the name of the
church and he said " The Strong Believer's Church
International " I agreed to that. All he was doing
was just to satisfy the requirements of his
masters. I will tell you how I got to know later. We
do sleep on the same bed but just like a brother
and a sister in Christ, Lol . This made me to
come into realization that, disability is indeed not
inability. What most people fail to understand is
that, the disabled in society also deserves better. I
would like to congratulate the education sector for
being disability friendly. But I will also request
from them that they should try to provide us with
the devises and infrastructures that will enable us
to unearth our capabilities. Two weeks into our
marriage, I wrote my resignation letter to my
director who doubled up to be my in-law. It was
approved and wished me well. I wished I got
someone to tell me not to resign but just request
for a leave. You wouldn't know until it happens to
you. Hmmm. Our plane tickets were ready so the
only thing left to do was to officially inform my
parents about our leaving. Already they were
more than happy to see me. I packed almost all
my belongings and sent them to my parent's
place. I even gave some out to friends. On the
day that we went to their place, they had some
church program in the evening so they said we
should wait and attend the church with them, so
that we could pray and commit our journey into
the care of God. I thought that was a good idea
but my husband said he doesn't attend just any
church but his church only. Anyway, freedom of
worship so we left him behind and went for the
service. During the prayer session, my mother
requested for a special prayer for me. The church
prayed very well for me. Personally, I am not very
good when it comes to prayers. Two prophecies
came that evening. One was from a member and
the other was from the prayer leader. The member
said she saw that, someone has removed the
womb of a virgin for rituals . But I was not a virgin
so how could that be my problem? I said to
myself. So as the people were praying over that
particular vision, I was just imagining how nice
America was going to be . The second one
which was from the leader said, he saw that
people were clothed in black and red attending a
wedding which was supposed to be white or any
colour that signifies happiness but not black. He
asked us to pray over it. In my mind, that prayer
was for those who will do their wedding in Ghana
because how can he see something that was
going to happen in the Whiteman's land. Even
though I also prayed over that particular prayer, it
was not with any enthusiasm. Little did I know
that they were just revealing what was in store for
me at my much awaited visit to America. This
world is very dark. It takes just the grace of God
for one to withstand this test of time. Eventually
the service came to a close around 10:00pm. But
after the service, the head pastor invited us to see
him for a short discussion. He asked me if I really
want to enjoy my relationship. I answered yes. He
said then the person I have engaged myself to
was not the best for me. He said he felt in his soul
that the man was not genuine. Quickly my mother
interrupted. "Pastor am sure you are NOT telling
my daughter to divorce her husband? That man is
just the best man for my daughter. Can you even
imagine that he believes in the laws of the Bible? "
she reported. My father tried to stop her from
interrupting with what the pastor was saying but
she would not listen. The pastor in response to
my mother said, that was not what he meant. My
mother said if that was not the case then he
should continue. "I won't let anybody take my
American borga from my daughter. She deserves
better. " my mother added. There, the pastor said
He believes even if they should bring someone
from America to replace my father she would
have done that without any hesitation. My father
laughed. I also smiled. The pastor couldn't
continue with what he planned saying because of
my mom's interruption. He only prayed for me
and also committed my journey into God's care.
We got to the house around 1:00am. By the time
we got home, Francis was no where to be found "
I asked my siblings where he had gone to but they
said they also didn't know where he went. I called
all his lines but none went through. I also called
his father at that night to ask of him but to no
avail. What?? Where has my husband gone
to?" I asked myself in panic. I tried calling some
of his friends to check whether he was with them
but my efforts were futile.

Where has Francis gone to? And what next?
Follow Me to the next episode for the answers.

Don't forget to leave a comment.

Keep On Reading .....

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funny husband [Read it]


A man went on a night out with his friends and stayed out late. The wife was furious and instructed the house-help not to open the door for him when he returned. At about 2am, the man got back exhausted, and anxious to hit his bed and sleep off. He rang the door bell. The wife shouted from inside; "Go back and sleep where you are coming from". The husband thought for a moment, then replied; “Please open the door; I`m not here to sleep, I just want to pick some condoms in my room in that top drawer, or can you pass them to me through the window, please. There are lots of women at the party, and I promised to return soon!" The wife flung the door open and screamed; "Idiot! Come inside! You’re not leaving this house this night!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-29 17:27:33

682 Views




She turned back and saw her husband pointing a gun at
her. She was shocked. Her husband had never la!d a
finger on her not to talk of pointing a gun at her. Yes he
had lost his Job but that doesn’t mean he has lost his
mind. “I was in that establishment before you. I know how it
is done. Those big men choose people to spend the
night with. I gave you the benefit of doubt but you
failed me” What are you talking about, i never slept with anyone”
Grace shouted. “Put the gun down” a voice spoke. They both turned
their heads and saw Paul Adeyemi, pointing a gun at
Jacobs. “We can settle this without…. Kpaa” Grace was trying to
complete her statement but she was shot. She fell down
to the ground.
+++++++++++++
Paul Adeyemi stood inside the dock, a bible was
brought since he was a christain and he took an oath placing his hand on the bible.
I, paul Adeyemi do swear that the evidence i shall give
shall be the truth, the wh0l£ truth and nothing but the
truth. So help me God. Barrister Briggs walked up to the witness.
“how are you doing Mr.paul?” he asked him. “Am fine thank you” paul replied. “oh, i can see you are really fine. So i was told you were
the one who alerted the police and paramedics about
the incident at the house of Mr. Jacobs. As a first hand
witness, what really happened?” he asked. “I was going to my house that faithful day, and i
decided to branch jacobs house. When i got there, i saw
him pointing a gun at his wife but before i could make
any move he shot her” paul explained. “And what evidence do you have of this claim” barrister
briggs asked. “A picture. I took a snapshot of jacobs pointing a gun at
his wife” he replied.
Barrister Briggs turned and walked back to his table
while still talking.
“At this juncture, i’ll like to present my first evidence”
he brought out a picture. Exhibit1 was bodly written at
the back. In this photo, jacobs can be seen pointing a
gun at his wife. He passed the picture to the court administrator who passed it to the judge. The picture
was enhanced using a projector for the wh0l£ court to
see. Barrister Briggs then turned and faced paul.
“Do you know of any reason why Mr. Jacobs could kill
his wife?” he asked. “He is a lost Man, he lost his job while his wife still has
hers, thats why he is transferring his anger to the wife”
paul answered. “Thank you mr. Paul, you have been very helpfull”
Barrister Briggs said,he turned to the judge
“i rest my case”he said and walked to his seat. The judge turned to Barrister clement
“would you like to cross-examine the witness?” “Yes my lord” he said and stood up.
Mr.paul can you please tell the court the kind of
relationship you have with the jacobs family? “objection my lord, the question is irrelevant to this
case” Barrister briggs shouted. “objection overuled” the judge came to the rescue.
Go on barrister. “So, Mr. Paul, whats your relationship with the jacobs”. “I’m a family friend and am very close to the couple” he
replied. “Any proof? Perhaps group pictures, or text messages.
Do you even even have their phone number?”.
Paul thought of his next answer before answering.
“No” “Good, so it has been established that you are not so
close to the family, so what took you to their house at
about past 10 in the night?” “like i said, i was passing and i decided to check on
them” paul replied. “Okay, so correct me if am wrong. You went into the
house, you saw Jacobs pointing a gun at his wife and
instead of saving her you decided to snap pictures?”
Barrister clement asked. “i needed the pictures for evidence” paul replied. “Evidence? So you planned on uploading it on
facebook? There was laughter in the court and when
they were finally brought to Order, Barrister clement
continued. Forgive me Mr. Paul, but i just want to know,
do you have any personal vendetta against Mr. Jacobs? “No” paul answered. Barrister clement went to his bag and brought out a
white paper. He showed paul.
“Is this your signature” he asked. “looks like it but signatures can be forged” paul
answered. “Dont worry about that. Few years back you asked for
the deceased hands in marriage but she refused and
you threatened her that if you do not get her then
nobody else will. This is the statement she wrote in the
police station. It only took the intervention of your boss
in the army for you to sign” Barrister clement passed the paper to the court administrator. He then faced the
judge
“i rest my case” he said and went back to his seat. Even Justice okoro was impressed. He faced Barrister
Briggs
“any other witness”. “yes, my lord, i would like to question the accused”
Barrister Briggs said. “Mr. Jacobs, i would like you to give me straight forward
answers to this my few questions and please be
audible” Barrister Briggs advised. “Did you kill your wife?”
Jacobs was shocked. He had expected barrister Briggs to
start from the light questions but he just went straight
to the point. “Answer the question young man, did you kill your
wife?” Barrister Briggs was getting emotional. “No” Jacobs replies. “Did you point a gun at your wife? I mean a loaded
gun”. “No”
The court was shocked, less than five minutes ago they
saw a picture of him pointing a gun at his wife but here
he was denying the fact. “Are you saying that picture was photo-shopped?”
Barrister Briggs asked. Do you know the reppercusion if
you lie to this court?” “Objection my lord, he is pressing my clent to admit to
a crime he didn’t commit” Barrister clement shouted “Objection overuled, you may proceed barrister” justice
Okoro shouted. “So you are saying the picture was photo-shopped” “No, am saying the gun i pointed at my wife wasn’t
loaded, it was empty. Infact, as a vigilante, we always
submit our bullets to our commander. We only collect
the bullets in times of emergency” “so you are saying, you didn’t kill your wife, who killed
her then? Barrister Briggs asked. Jacobs took a deap breathe and then spoke.
“Paul Adeyemi” The wh0l£ court was shocked by jacobs’ revelation. The
wh0l£ case was taking a new dimention.
“Do you know how preposterous your accusation
sound? You mean he shot your wife and you just stood
there?” Barrister Briggs asked. “Immediately he killed my wife, he charged at me and
hit me with his gun and i became unconcious” Jacobs
narrated “I see.
Your counselor just said Mr.paul has a personal vendetta
against you so why didn’t he kill you? I mean, you are
the only thing standing between him and Grace
according to your lawyer, so why did he choose to kill
Grace instead of you?” “I don’t know” jacobs replied. “you also said all bullets are submitted to your
commandant untill during emergencies but according
to reports there was an armed robbery attack that night
which means you were with bullet so how about the
truth? How did you feel when you killed my daughter?” “Objection my lord, false charge!! My client has not
been proven guilty” barrister Clement shouted “Objection sustained, Barrister lets wait till that is
proven”. Justice Okoro said. “i rest my case” barrister Briggs said. He brought out a
white hankerchief from his pocket and used it to wipe
the already forming tears in his eyes. He sniffed
inaudibly and went back to his seat.
Whispers of eyaa, kai and the likes, were heard in the
crowd. “Would you like to cross-examine him?” Justice Okoro
asked Barrister Clement. “No, your honour.” he replied.
The judge turned to Barrister Briggs
“your next witness please” He said.
By this time, Barrister Briggs has already regained
composure.
He stood up and called. “Mr. Fidelis Ogbu, please come out”
A middle aged man who was probably just a few
centimetres fatter than the ‘letter I’ came out. He went
straight into the dock. “Mr. Fedelis, what kind of relationship do you have with
Mr. Jacobs?” Barrister Briggs asked. “Ah!! Na my paddy o, na me with am the follow drink
for junction. Infact ehm, e dey even carry me go him
house, madam go come cook better food for us. Kai,
madam na good woman o” fidelis spoke. “so were you with Jacobs on the day of the incident?” “yesso, na me with am been drink that day sef. E call
me around past 3 say make we go drink. As we come
the drink na, him come tell me say e go kill him wife
today. I think say na play him the play o. Around past 4
we come drink finish. By then, my friend don drink
5bottles. I come leave am go my house o, na the next day naim i come hear say e don kill him wife” fidelis
narrated. “Why did he talk about killing his wife” “him say as him wife the go work say she the follow
men for office, say him go kill her. “thank you mr. Fidelis” barrister Briggs said and walked
back to his seat. “Would you like to cross-examine the witness?” Justice
Okoro asked Barrister Clement. “Yes, your honour” Barrister clement said and stood up.
He opened his bag and brought out three pictures. “Mr. Fidelis, you claimed to have seen Grace right?”
Barrister clement asked. “oga lawyer i don see the woman plenty times, my
friend the carry me go him house” fidelis explained. “Good, so which of this three pictures is grace’s picture”
he asked and gave the three pictures to Fidelis to
choose.
After carefull observation, Fidelis chose one and gave to
Barrister clement.
“Are you sure?” Clement asked. “oga na she be that” Fidelis replied. Barrister clement
then showed the picture to the judge. The picture was
once again enhanced. “According to our ‘self acclaimed’ friend of Mr. Jacobs,
this is Mrs. Grace. But i tell you what, this is the picture
of Genevieve Nnaji. So our friend here doesn’t even
know mrs. Grace. The question is, are we going to listen
to the testimony of a drunk? “Objection my lord, the Barrister is using foul words in
the court. “Objection sustained” Justice Okoro shouted. Barrister,
vulgar words are not allowed in this court. “I guess all am trying to say is, even if my client truly
said what Fidelis has accused him of, then he probably
said it under the influence of alcohol. But there is a
difference of seven hours between past 3 and past 10.
So am sure the alcohol must have cleared from my
client’s face even before his wife came back so he wouldn’t carry out an action he had said when still
under the influence of alcohol. I rest my case” Barrister
clement concluded.

>>

Wifes panties [Read it]


Akpos and his wife were in bed watching TV. Akpos who was reading a newspaper, suddenly put his hand in wife's panties. His wife was a bit taken aback but responded positively. But he immediately removed his hands.


Again Akpos put his hand in her panties without saying anything and removed it immediately. Still his wife said nothing.


After some minutes, his hands were in her panties again and this time, his wife stood up, undress and said, "Honey, lets do it!" 


Akpos looked at her and said, "Do what?" 


His wife said, "Come on! I know you want it. You've been touching down there." 


Akpos said, "Who said I wanted to have sex? I was just wetting my fingers so that I can turn the pages of the newspaper faster." 




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-24 09:44:19

1137 Views




Akpors and a Customer were arguing wen
his boss called him and said: Akpors
what's wrong with u, how many
times have i told u not to be arguing wit
customers, i have always told u that
Customers are always Right. Akpors said sir, but
i'm
not arguing wit
him, i only responded to wat he said. The
Boss asked: what did he say? Akpors said:
Sir, he said My Boss is a Fool
and a Mad man. Boss asked: and what did
u tell the stupid man? Akpors: i told him he is
right,
Since
customers are always right.
Are customers always right,to wht extend?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-25 13:24:03

345 Views




“Good evening sky” Chioma greeted getting up from the seat, her face was wearing anything but a smile.

“Good evening baby, i never expected to see you here” i intoned taking a couple of steps towards her, Ryan still clutched in my arms.

Her eyes were glued to the little mould of flesh and lips in my arms as i walked towards her.
“Aunty see, i have ice-cream!!!” Ryan blurted out to her raising his king sized cup of ice-cream, Chioma forced out a fake smile then fixed her gaze on me.

“I can see you are having fun with your son” She addressed, the ‘son’ much louder than the rest of the words.

My eyes was blank, i looked on at chioma then to Ryan who was happily scooping some ice-cream into his mouth still hanging on my arms very oblivious of the stale atmosphere around.

I dropped him nudging him to go seat down and finish his treat.

“Sky why didn’t you tell me, i cant believe you wanted to hide this from me all my life” the tempo of her voice intensified with every word.

“No, baby you won’t understand. I never kne……”

“Oh cut that crap sky, don’t even baby me or concoct another lie and add salt to the injury” she retorted cutting my words short, her face squeezing into a hard gesture.

“Chioma please listen to me” I intoned trying to sound as pleading as possible.
“Please try and listen to me before judging me”

“What is there to listen sky, you hid your son from me until the mother of your child revealed it to both i and my parents. can you imagine the heartbreak, the embarrassment i felt in front of my parents that my fiancee already had a son with another woman and i didn’t know. the betrayal getting to know from someone else”. The tears were dropping freely from her face.

“Chioma please it’s not what you think, i never knew he was my son until…..”

“Just shut up sky don’t even utter another lie, you never knew and i just saw you now bringing him here and telling him this is his house? what do you take me for sky.. you think am a fool?”

Every word from her mouth slapped my heart hard. to say i was confused would be an understatement. their were many explanations to do and i didn’t even know where to start, Chioma is not even giving me the chance to.

“Baby please listen to…”

“Sky i said don’t call me that again” she cut in again. “I only came here to give you these” She slipped the engagement ring out from her fingers and dropped it on the floor, the spare keys to my house followed with a resounding jingling sound.

“Please don’t do this” a drop of tears escaped my eye. Hers were already running freely as she slowly walked pass me, dragging each step like she was tied to a wall.

The door closed behind her with a hard bang, thumping hard on my heart inducing a piercing pain.

More tears now ran freely down my cheek defying my attempt to hold them back.

“Uncle are you alright?” Ryan’s voice sipped into my ears dragging me back to consciousness after i had being standing there like a statue for minutes.

I took my gaze down, he was looking up at me ice-cream smeared all over the corners of his mouth.

“Am ok Ryan” I hid my throaty voice in whispers wiping the tears with the back of my hands forcing out a smile for Ryan.

The rest of the night i tried to be appear fine because of Ryan, gave him a bath and a change of clothes. luckily he slept very early and it was deep, i watched him sleep cus i on my own part found it was more possible for an elephant to climb than for me to achieve sleep.

The morning was very slow in coming and annoyingly very cold when it finally came.

Ryan’s innocent funny remarks always managed to hold me on, his high spiritedness and jovial personality. it was impossible not to love this innocent little boy.

A little before noon i heard a knock on my door. it was a familiar soft knock and i couldn’t imagine my guess to be true.

“Yes who is that” I yelled at the door still not getting up from my sofa where i sat with Ryan who was munching in a plate of chips and chicken i ordered from a restaurant.

“Sky open the door, its me”

“Mummy!!!” Ryan yelled on hearing the voice exposing his immaculate white milk teeth.

“What is she doing here, how did she even know where i live” i cursed under my breathe heading towards the door.

“Mummy!!!” Ryan sang up again rushing to hug Amanda immediately her figure registered into the room.
“what is my baby eating” She teased him playfully nibbling her teeth on his stomach inducing some wild laugh from him.

Ryan ran back to his plate of food immediately Amanda dropped him, laughing as he ran.

“Wooow he’s really happy here with you” She commented smiling at me, the black eye was barely visible now.

“What are you doing here Amanda and how did you get to know my house?” i threw at her getting a chuckle as a reply.

“Never mind how i got to know, anyway i need to take Ryan to the hospital for some immunization shots”. She moved more into my house, tilting her head right and left nodding while she assessed my interior decoration.

“Hmmm your place is beautiful” she threw at me working out a smile.

“Ok thank you let me go and get his things” i offered moving towards the stairs.

“Oh relax sky, don’t be in a hurry we are not leaving right away” she replied heading more into the sitting room.

“You have to because i need to go somewhere, i was even about to bring him home before you came” i intoned with all seriousness.

“Oh my God!!!. . . what is this” Amanda blurted out bending down and picked up two jingling trinkets lying on the floor.

“Sky what’s are these?” she asked showing me the engagement and my spare key which Chioma dropped last night. i have not even touched or tried to pick them up.

“Nothing, just give me that” I collected the key and ring from her. i could see a one sided smirk on her face.

“Sky are you ok?” she asked getting hold of my arms.

I could feel her breathe on my cheek as i her face gain inch by inch into mine.

“Sky look at me” her hands now ran up to the crack of my back..

I felt her lips take hold mine and her breathing intensifying. A shocking wave hit my brains hard.

I could feel myself slipping, i tried but i was slipping hard. her hands now rubbed almost on top of my pubic bones nudging junior sky.

“Ok ok its ok Amanda” i blurted out untangling myself.
“Sky please stop this” she sang bringing herself up to me again.

“Amanda leave my house”

“what did you say sky” She said peering into my face.

“I said leave my house now” i went up stairs grabbed Ryan’s back pack and handed it over to her.

“Ok sky anything you say” she was strangely calm and bright.

She left with Ryan minutes later. i crashed into the sofa letting out a huge heavy sigh.

My life was like a broken plate now with all it’s pieces missing.

..To be Continued.


>>

fake money [Read it]


Akpos was given fake money and he went to
the
police station to report...
.
AKPOS: What kind of nonsense is this?
.
POLICE: Hello Mr. man can we help you?
.
AKPOS: Can you imagine, in this country,
people
are just mean!
.
POLICE: Mr. man, you aren't saying anything.
What is the problem.
.
AKPOS: (still boiling). Why are people so
unreasonable and wicked in this country? I
wish I
wasn't born in this country.
.
POLICE: (impatient) listen Mr. man, are you
ready to tell us your problem or you want to
waste our time?
.
AKPOS: Can you imagine, I was given fake
money, fake money yesterday at my shop.
.
POLICE: So can you recognise the person that
gave you the fake money?
.
AKPOS: How on earth can I do that? There are
hundreds of people who visit my shop
everyday.
.
POLICE: Ok, where is the money.
.
AKPOS: I've spent it!
.
.
IF You Are To Be The PoliceMan What will You
do?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-26 15:29:48

326 Views




Obaz never knew his elder brother belonged to
a
confraternity. In fact,, it was osas who always
advised him to stay away from such group of
people.
Daniel osato was more of the quiet one among
the
brothers. He was always cool and didn’t like
anything that brought great trouble. He tried
to be
at peace with everyone all the time and
nobody
ever suspected he would end up in such a
drastic
and sad way.
Obaz on the other hand was quite more
extrovertious in nature and didn’t take shït.
He was
quick to anger and he forgave easily too. But
not
this time. Osas knew it won’t be long before
his
brother joined the cult so he always tried to
shield
him from trouble. He knew how the game went
down. But his own mistake led his brother to
fall
into what he was always protecting him from.
Obaz was really thinking hard. How did his
brother
end up like this? What went wrong? Why did
zick
his own best friend betray him?. So many
questions left unanswered. And he had to find
the
answers.
FAST!
July 8th,,2007.
3:05pm
Obaz knocked on the gate of St.paul’s hostel
in
Osasogie. Another off campus base for
University
students.
“Who be that? Wetin you dey find?”
A short dark and stout guy shouted from a
corner
inside the hostel compound. He came closer
and
obaz saw his face. He had a big scar on his
left
side and a marijuana was in the left side of
his
mouth. It was alberto aka scarface. He
removed
the weed and puffed out smoke from his
mouth
and nose.
“I say who you be?”
Alberto asked again with a thick Hausa
accent.
“I be jeff,,I dey find una capo”
Obaz replied.
He was definitely not scared. He knew what he
wanted and so he came for it. Alberto opened
the
gate and allowed him to enter. He asked obaz
to
follow him while he led him to their capo.
St.paul’s hostel was definitely not living up to
it’s
name. Anyone who is not conversant with
things
happening around would think it was just a
normal
hostel for students. But those who know,,know
the
kind of people in st.pauls. It was the den of
the
“Wolves”. In fact it was their headquarters.
Anyone who doesn’t belong to their
confraternity
can not stay there. Except he’s willing to join.
The
story goes that the hostel was once a normal
lodge
for different students but sometime in
2003,,there
was a “heat”. The “wolves” had some people
to
settle scores with and so they attacked the
hostel
and killed those people. After the heat,,many
of the
normal students couldn’t stay there again and
so
they left the place deserted. The “wolves”
decided
to make that place their territory and that was
how
they took over and have remained there till
this
moment.
Alberto led obaz upstairs and they walked
through
a dark passage with different rooms by the
left and
right side.It was a storey building. There was
a
very strong stench of weed in the air that one
could get high from just inhalation. It was
coming
from various rooms.
Some Mach men were gisting and making
noise in
another room by the left. They were drinking
and
smoking too.
“Last card!!”
Someone shouted from the room. It was
obvious
they were gambling.
They kept walking through the passage. Obaz
turned his face to a room by his right. Door
left
ajar!. He saw a näked girl riding on another
guy
reverse cowgirl style. Her breasts were
jumping up
and down like basket balls and her moans
were
loud.
She saw him but didn’t seem to care as she
was
lost in the moment.
“CLANG!!”
His leg hit an empty bottle in the passage and
alberto turned back to look at him. He shook
his
head and they continued their walk.
At the far end of the passage was a room with
a
large door. It was the capo’s room.
“Wait here!”
Alberto commanded.
He knocked for a while with their signature
knock.
Two times a mild knock and then one hard
knock.
That was how they were able to identify their
member if he visits. Obaz could remember
hearing
such a style of knock when someone came to
visit
his brother in their room back then.
Alberto went in and came out few minutes
later. A
young girl also walked behind him and passed
by
the both of them. She was wearing just a bra
and
bom short.
Scarface beckoned Students style. There was a large wall paper of
a
wolf pasted on the left side of the wall as
obaz
was coming in. On another side by the right
there
was another wall paper of pack of wolves
howling
in the snow. Then a few other wall papers and
drawings of some american hip hop
celebrities. An
American hip hop song was playing from the
sound
system. The capo came and put it off.
“Jeff,,i’ve been expecting you since. I knew it
won’t
be long before you came here”
Capo said. As he asked jeff to sit on one of
the
plastic chairs opposite the bed.
“Yes. I need answers! My mind has not been
at
peace since osas passed away”
Jeff replied.
“Hmmm…your brother was a very close friend
when
he was alive. we did so many things
together.”
Capo continued after a brief silence.
“He always protected you from our
activities,,but I
knew it won’t take long before you find
yourself
here. However,,i didn’t expect it to be through
his
death.”
Capo spoke again.
Obaz could see the pain in his eyes. Then he
said
loudly:
“I want vengeance! And I will do anything to
get it.
Nobody takes the life of my brother and goes
scot
free”
There was a long silence…..
Capo stood up from the bed and went to his
cupboard. He took a rizzler and went to the
table
in front of obaz. There was a weed tray on it.
He
took some weed and put it in the rizzler,,rolled
it,,used his saliva to wet the edge and
wrapped it.
He picked up the lighter from the table and lit
the
rizzler. There was another wrapped weed on
the
table. He picked that one and gave to obaz
but he
declined.
There was another long silence…
Capo took a long drag from his weed,,then he
spoke.
“I like your courage and determination jeff. We
had
been planning a revenge mission but we had
not
decided when to strike;I wanted you to bury
your
brother first and mourn him then I would reach
out
to you. I believe you are the one who can
really
fight this war…because it is your war. But you
have
to get prepared first. There are so many things
you
do not know”
Jeff retorted;
“I am willing to get prepared for any war.”
Capo summoned on alberto through a phone
call
and he was in the room within a few minutes.
“Follow this guy,,he said”
Obaz stood up and walked behind alberto. In
his
face one could notice his determination. He
was
not smiling.
They went ahead to prepare for his initiation
and
preparation.
To Be Continued… obaz to follow him and
they
entered the room. It was spacious and the
walls
were painted red at the top and black below.
Students style. There was a large wall paper of
a
wolf pasted on the left side of the wall as
obaz
was coming in. On another side by the right
there
was another wall paper of pack of wolves
howling
in the snow. Then a few other wall papers and
drawings of some american hip hop
celebrities. An
American hip hop song was playing from the
sound
system. The capo came and put it off.
“Jeff,,i’ve been expecting you since. I knew it
won’t
be long before you came here”
Capo said. As he asked jeff to sit on one of
the
plastic chairs opposite the bed.
“Yes. I need answers! My mind has not been
at
peace since osas passed away”
Jeff replied.
“Hmmm…your brother was a very close friend
when
he was alive. we did so many things
together.”
Capo continued after a brief silence.
“He always protected you from our
activities,,but I
knew it won’t take long before you find
yourself
here. However,,i didn’t expect it to be through
his
death.”
Capo spoke again.
Obaz could see the pain in his eyes. Then he
said
loudly:
“I want vengeance! And I will do anything to
get it.
Nobody takes the life of my brother and goes
scot
free”
There was a long silence…..
Capo stood up from the bed and went to his
cupboard. He took a rizzler and went to the
table
in front of obaz. There was a weed tray on it.
He
took some weed and put it in the rizzler,,rolled
it,,used his saliva to wet the edge and
wrapped it.
He picked up the lighter from the table and lit
the
rizzler. There was another wrapped weed on
the
table. He picked that one and gave to obaz
but he
declined.
There was another long silence…
Capo took a long drag from his weed,,then he
spoke.
“I like your courage and determination jeff. We
had
been planning a revenge mission but we had
not
decided when to strike;I wanted you to bury
your
brother first and mourn him then I would reach
out
to you. I believe you are the one who can
really
fight this war…because it is your war. But you
have
to get prepared first. There are so many things
you
do not know”
Jeff retorted;
“I am willing to get prepared for any war.”
Capo summoned on alberto through a phone
call
and he was in the room within a few minutes.
“Follow this guy,,he said”
Obaz stood up and walked behind alberto. In
his
face one could notice his determination. He
was
not smiling.
They went ahead to prepare for his initiation
and
preparation.

>> Part 5 -

Dear Dollar [Read it]


Dear Dollar,You slut…
Stop rising so much coz after 58 Government will retire you..Sincerely
Indian RupeeRelated

The teacher asked akpos,"Why is your cat at school today Akpos?"
Akpos replied crying,Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Akpos leaves for
school today!'"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-26 23:39:42

578 Views



4th grade [Read it]


A female class teacher
was having a problem
with
a boy in her class in 3rd
grade.
The boy said, "Madam, I
should be in 4th grade,
i'm smarter than my
sister and she's in 4th
grade".
The Madam had heard
enough and took the
boy
to the principal.
The principal decided to
test the boy with some
questions from 4th
grade
Principal: What is 3+3
Boy: 6
Principal: 6+6
Boy: 12
The boy got all
questions right. The
principal then
told the Madam to send
the boy to 4th grade
immediately.
Madam decided to ask
her questions and the
principal agreed.
Madam: What does a
cow have 4 of, that I've
only 2
Boy: Legs
Madam: What is in your
pants that I don't have
Boy: pockets
Madam: What starts
wit a C and ends with
T, is
hairy, oval, delicious and
contains thin whitish
liquid.
Boy: Coconut.
Madam: What goes in
hard and then comes
out
soft and sticky.
(The principal's eyes
opened really wide, but
before he could stop
the answer, the boy
was
taking chargtaking charge)
Boy: Bubble gum
Madam: You stick your
poles inside me. You tie
me down to get me up,
I get wet before you
do.
Boy: Tent
(The principal was
looking restless)
Madam: A finger goes in
me. You fiddle with me
when you are bored.
The best man always
has
me first.
Boy: Wedding ring
Madam: I come in many
sizes. When I'm not
well,
I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose.
Madam: I've a stiff
shaft. My tip
penetrates, I
come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow.
Principal: Jesus,
Madam: What starts
with 'F' and ends wit a
'K'
and if
you don't get it, you've
to use your hand.
Boy: Fork.
Madam: What is it that
all men have, it's longer
in some men than
others, the Pope
doesn't use
his and a man gives it
to his wife after
marriage.
Boy: Surname,
Principal: Chinekemeee,
Madam: What part of
the man has no bone
but
has muscles with a lot
of veins like pumpkin
and
is responsible for
making love.
Boy: Heart.
Principal :
Eeeeeehhhhh!!!
The principal breathed a
sigh of relief and said to
the Madam, "Send this
BLOODY boy to the
University...ev en I
myself got all the
answers
wrong!"



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-12 18:50:08

296 Views




Santa: Did you have a chance to sleep with my wife yet?

Banta: What are you saying? I would never even think about such things.

Santa: Well, you might want to. She is much better than yours.Related

(FINAL EPISODE) - Episode 39

A Month Later…

A large beautiful car parked in front of Onyiudo
Ekemma’s compound. She lowered her tray of vegetables to the ground
and stood up. She stared at the shiny black vehicle with a tinge
of suspicion, as though she was sure they’d lost
their way. A tall handsome man in a fine-tailored suit got
down from the driver’s side. A tall slim lady joined him. The back door opened and another tall but curvier
lady joined them. Onyiudo stared. Everything about the three
strangers screamed foreign. They walked toward her.
Mma took off her dark glasses and called Onyiudo
Ekemma Mama. The knife in Onyiudo Ekemma’s hand fell to the
floor. The boy screamed, ‘Okwa Nwamma o!’ He jumped
onto her, paying no care if he soiled her beautiful
brown dress. Mma hugged her small brother again.
‘Okey, you have really big o.’ The boy moved in for another hug and she waved a
finger at him. ‘Mba. Enough is enough.’
‘Mama, good evening,’ Richard greeted. ‘Good evening, Mama,’ Cynthia joined.
Onyiudo Ekemma nodded. ‘Good evening,’ she
murmured, still looking lost. Mma gestured to her brother. ‘Oya, rushing and calling me that fat boy you
following and playing every time.’ ‘Izunna.’ ‘Yes.’ Soon Okechukwu returned with a bigger, taller
boy. One by one, they carried out all the items loaded in
the boot of the car. The rice bags counted six. Four containers of
expensive cooking oil. Cartons of Gino, Milo, Peak
and St Louis. Uncountable packs of Knorr and other
sachet spices. Onyiudo Ekemma asked Okechukwu and Izunna to
bring seats for her visitors. Even when they’d drove off, she still didn’t look
quite fully there yet. She tapped Mma’s shoulder. ‘Bia, who are they really?’
‘Mama that was the man that impregnated me.’ Onyiudo Ekemma’s right palm fell over open
mouth. ‘Yes, Mama.’ ‘So when is he coming to pay your bride price?’
Mma frowned at her mother. ‘He would have but
that night you chased me away, I tripped over a
root and hit my stomach on the ground.’ ‘Ekwuzina!’ ‘Yes, Mama. The baby is gone so no need of him
marrying me again.’ Onyiudo Ekemma put her two hands on her head. Mma opened her handbag and brought out a clean
white-colored hand set. Okechukwu screamed again. ‘Foonu! Mama foonu!’ Mma smiled. ‘Is not ‘f-o-o-n-u’, is called blanberry.’ She pressed down a few keys. Something she
couldn’t read came up on the screen and she
quickly pressed the red key. She knew that one ‘ends’ everything. Later that night, Onyiudo Ekemma touched her
hair and asked her what she had done to it that
made it so long and gentle to touch. She smiled and told her that it wasn’t her hair and
that the hair had come from her shop in Lagos. ‘Shop?’ Onyiudo Ekemma and Okechukwu threw
this out at the same time. ‘Yes. I having shop in Lagos now. I selling human
hair and international human hair.’ ‘So you are going back to Lagos?’
‘Before nko!’ And they all broke into laughter. ****** Cynthia And Richard got married months later,
Mma became a successfull business woman. Vanessa was given bail for attempted murder,but
she travelled abroad never to return due to shame.

**The END**

Your Impression Pls?!

Drop ur (comments , suggestion , criticism , What
Have U Learnt?)

Judgment day [Read it]


A man died and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He decides he'll pick the least painful to spend his eternity.
He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?"
He is told "first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day".
The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on.
He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all similar to the German hell.
Then he comes to the Nigerian hell and finds that there is a long queue of people waiting to get in...Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"
He is told" first they put you in an electric chair for an hour, then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. The Nigerian devil comes in & whips you for the rest of the day."
But that is exactly the same as all the other hells, why are there so many people waiting to get in?" asks the man. A concerned fellow
calls him aside and said, "Because there is never any electricity so the electric chair doesn't work.
The nails were paid for but were never supplied by the contractor, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on. And the Nigerian devil used to be a civil servant, so he comes in, signs his time sheet and goes back home for other business!!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-12-12 08:24:54

271 Views




U tink say English na moi-moi oya ansa wit Yes or No.
........, I stole the meat
........, I beat her up
........, I killed the man
........, I love you so much


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-30 22:51:20

377 Views



puzzle [Read it]


No English dictionary has been able to explain
between the two words 'COMPLETE' and
'FINISHED'. Some people say there is no
difference between 'COMPLETE' and 'FINISHED'
but there is..When you marry the right woman
you are COMPLETE and when you marry the
wrong woman you are FINISHED. When your wife
catches you with another woman you are
COMPLETELY FINISHED and when your wife likes
shopping so much you are FINISHED
COMPLETELY.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-06 00:48:47

280 Views




Do a little more each day than you think you possibly can.

-Lowell ThomasRelated
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