Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


People, please help me understand these situations:

• U dey carry ur girlfriend go club; after u marry her finish u wan stop her frm goin to club. My broda u think say miracle fit happen?

• Ur girlfriend dump u for rich man u say she b gold digger, bt ur sister do d same to anoda perso u giv testimony for Church say, na grace of God. Bros park well!!

• Your babe get F9 parallel for WAEC, she still dey ask for Brazilian Hair of #150,000 . Abeg where she wan fix am?, on top that coconut head?

• U have 8 tribal marks, stretch marks scattered all ova ur body yet u still want a tattoo…ah! my friend; u be zebra?!!

• U are 6 feet tall, u still com wear 6 inches high heeled shoe… shey u wan whisper to God?

• U dey snap inside different type of cars yet u expect ur man to believe say u no cheat. .aunty, u be mechanic?

• U gather different gals picture for ur fone & yet u xpect ur gal to believe say u no cheat.. uncle, u be photographer?

• He give u engagement ring for over five years, he never marry u, my dear, u be lord of d rings?

•you dey pay your babe wey dey university school fees and yet u never write JAMB, U be scholarship board?

•U are 18yrs and ur sugar daddy is 70yrs old and u still dey call am BABY, my sister, he suppose be ANCESTOR.

•Your babe is licking ice cream…u’re drinking pure water…pls guy Are u diabetic?

•U claim say u eat rice and stew, but u come vomit fufu and egwusi soup. Omo u be magician? .


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-11 13:08:02

473 Views




SHAYARI BY THIEF..



Mobile ke Night Plans Ne To Hume, Bhuka Maar Diya Hai Dosto,

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Jis Ghar Mein Chori k Liye Jao, Koi Na Koi Aashiq Jag Raha Hota Hai….:p :O ????Related

"I want my baby...give her back!" I wailed.
"I...calm down Teju, please." david said soothingly
"What happiness do you derive in wrecking my life? You're
always intrested in stealing my joy" I lamented letting him
go.
"I didn't take her!" he wore a painful look.
I searched his eyes, somehow I believed him, but I wasn't
too sure.
"But you..." I started to say.
"Come." he pulled me into the shop. The crowd began to
disperse.
"Baby, you have to stop crying, calm down please." he tried
to make me sit down.
"Stop telling me to calm down!" I yelled.
"okay.." he sighed.
"Can we go to the police now...to report the issue?" he said
patiently.
He helped me lock the shop, before leading me to his car,
Tola was with us too.
At the station, David gave the statement's and all.
"What's your relationship with the girl?" a police inspector
asked.
"She is my daughter." David replied stressing the word 'my'
He stole a glance at me, maybe he was expecting me to
shout him down again, but I was too tired to do that.
David drove me home, I wept all the way.
Bola was waiting at my door, she hugged me and we wept
together.
::::::::::::******::::::::::::::
That night was a terrible one, full of lament and tears.
David had to leave cos I won't let him spend the night at my
place. He beged Bola to stay with me, promising to come
back the next morning.
"Bola? Do you think I was born to suffer?" I tapped Bola
who was dozing off.
"stop talking like that, ehn, please." Bola looked worried and
tired.
I sighed, and walked towards Eniola's picture that was
hanging on the wall. She was all smiles.
"My lil' princess..." I began.
"where ever you are, remember mummy loves you..and I'm
missing you now..you're precious to me.." I ran my hand
over the picture
"Please Eniola, come back to mummy" I whispered gently,
wiping a tear.
"Teju...whats this now? Stop crying, she'd be fine." Bola
pulled me away from the picture.
My phone rang., I squinted at the strange number.
"Hello?"
"Hello Tejumola" a male voice replied from the other end.
"Yea, who am I speaking with?" I asked quitely.
The caller laughed cruelly
"Teju- Teju...you mean say you no recognise my voice?" he
laughed again.
"No, please, who are you?" I asked in faint voice.
"ah ahn! Okay na Akpan dey talk. Madam Lina
gateman..remember" he replied.
I was shocked, how did he get my phone number? What
was he calling me for?
"Hello..Akpan..." my voice trailed off.
"I just call make I inform you say your pikin dey with
me...you dey hear ko?" Akpan said with ease.
I clutched my stomach.
"your pikin dey for my hand o, anything me like, me fit do
am, remeber wetin you do me ko?" he chuckled wickedly.
"Akpan..please...I..I'm..."I gave up trying to speak.
He laughed some more, before cutting th call.
"Hello? Hellloo?"
no response.
I slumped to the floor..I'm doomed
"Teju..what's wrong? Are you okay?" Bola held me
"Akpan has my child." was I could whisper before every
thing blacked out.



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpos knock at the gate of brothel,a lady open the door to see a young man Akpos with taterred cloth,'pls may i help u'.said the lady.Akpos replied.'yes im looking for onome.'.the lady said 'onome is the one of the most expensive girl here,perhaps someone else.'.Akpos look at her and said.'pls may i see her'.as he was talking onome came out of building and said.'i charged,N50,000 for one night'.Akpos put his hand in the pocket and bring out 50 notes of N1,000 note and gave 2 her.she followed him.after one hour of having sex he got up and went home the next day he came and demand for the same girl,the girl was suprise and said.'nobody have ever come 2 me 2 times in a row,there is no discount in the money'.Akpos bring out N50,000 and give 2 her.she followed him,the next day he came,making it three consecutive times.the girl was so amazed and asked him.'are you with the money'.Akpos gave it to her and she followed him .after one hour of having sex the girl decided to know whom the young man was.
The girl:where do u come from
Akpos:warri
The girl:there one of my brother who does business there
Akpos:i know him,he gave me N150,000 to give to You


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-01 23:57:26

631 Views








A Man stops Akpos’ taxi, entered it and said

“Please turn off the radio for in the time of the prophet, there was no radio and my religion decreed that I should not listen to it especially the western music.This is because they sing of their infidelity and all,” the man said.

Akpos Aturned off the radio, came down and opened the door for the man and said,

“In the time of the prophets, there was no car. So please come down and wait for a camel.”


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-22 15:07:59

198 Views




“Good morning,” Heather greeted Purity as she stepped into her office.

“Morning, Heather,” Purity replied cheerfully.

Heather noticed her boss was dressed in a casual wear- a denim jean and long sleeve shirt. Was this the Purity she knew?

“Any updates?” Purity asked absent-mindly. She found herself thinking of Jeremy. Looking forward to having a great evening with him. He was different. She’d actually spent the night in his room, on his great bed. He slept on on of the guest rooms. He insisted she slept in his room. Called her parents to know she’d be sleeping over. The morning came, they had a wonderful breakfast prepared by Jeremy himself. She saw herself fitting into the family. She really longed to be there, a part of them. She was starting to love Edwin Broderick. The clothes she actually wore to the office belonged to Jeremy’s mom. They had persuaded her to wear it and she had given in.

“Um… Yeah. The financial problems we’re passing through is almost over. The Broderick’s decided to help us. Within two weeks, they’d be merging. You’ll be working directly under J. Broderick. The company’s CEO. There’s going to be a meeting this afternoon to discuss the other details. You have to be there.” Heather concluded.

They finally saved us. They hadn’t married yet. Her father was right. It wasn’t all about the company, but the marriage. She hoped never to let him down. She’d be working directly under Jeremy? If she would be married to him, she’d resign and look for a job elsewhere. With Jeremy in her work place, she’d never concentrate. She’d now have a boss- for the first time.
“Thanks. About the meeting this afternoon, I won’t be around. I’ll call my papa, he’ll handle it.” She had many things on her mind.

“Miss,” Heather called to her. “Did you just thank me?”

“I did?” She had. She’d learnt to thank people the hard way. “Oh, yeah. Its nothing.”

“Okay. J. Broderick, isn’t he the Jeremy that was here yesterday? Said he was your fiance?”

Purity glared at her. “How many people have you told?”

“No one.”

“Good. Keep your mouth shut. Not a word of this to anyone.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Purity smiled. “Have a nice day, Heather.”

Purity walked out of the building and was headed to the parking lot. Someone accidentally bumped into her.

“Watch it, bitch!” the woman screamed at her.

“Excuse me? You are the one who’s supposed to watch your steps. You bumped into me!” Purity yelled.

The woman eyed her. Her green eyes sternly glowering at her. She was dressed in a mini gown, it exposed her cleavage as well as other parts of her body. Her feet were covered with Wellington boots. Her dark hair flying as the wind caressed her face.
“You lack manners,” she muttered.

Purity flushed with anger. She slapped the woman standing before her. “That’s to show you that I really do lack manners.”

The woman’s face turned red. She tried to slap Purity. Purity was fast, she caught her hand mid-air. “I am Purity Theodore. No one crosses my path and gets away free.”

“So this is you?” the woman questioned. “This bitch, you?” she tried attacking Purity.

The security guards that had been observing the show caught the strange woman. Stopping her from attacking their boss. Two of them held her firmly, placing her hands to her back. She struggled, but couldn’t free herself.

Purity smirked to herself, triumphantly. “Do any of you know this slut?”

The looked at each other and shook their heads.

“I don’t know her either. Listen to me you whore, I don’t know who you are neither do I care to. I want you to leave this premises and never come back if you don’t want to spend the rest of your reading life in jail. I’m sure its hell already. Looks like your lover stood you up.” She dug out her new cell phone from the purse she carried. She took a picture of this strange lady. “I don’t know why I’m doing this, but I have a feeling it’ll have a good result. Throw this prostitute out of my company!”

:::
She turned and walked majestically to her car. She sat in the driver’s seat as she got into it. Using the rear view mirror, she could see what was happening to that woman. One of the guards carried her out, she kept fighting within his grip, pounding his back. The other took her bag and other items that where on the floor and followed the other guard taking her out. While she’d been talking to the lady, she’d been receiving angry stares from her. Who was she? Why had she not apologised after she’d bumped into her? Where the hell do she come from? Was she actually looking for her? Only the bitch could answer these questions. For a moment, she was scared of her. No one had ever confronted her that way. The way she looked at her, was as if the woman had known her and had lots of scores to settle with her.
She kept watching as she was thrown outside the company. She started her car. Shifting the gear to reverse, the XC60 moved under her command. When she was done with reversing, she shifted the gear to drive and headed to the gate of the premises. She honked and the gate was opened for her. On getting out, she almost hit a woman. Fortunately, she was quick with her brakes and the woman ran to the side of the vehicle. Purity was about to lash this woman with unfriendly words. She turned to her, ah, she was familiar, this same woman who had created a scene minutes ago at her company. Purity didn’t say anything, she kept on looking at her. The lady returned her gaze with glaring eyes. Those eyes had no feelings or sympathy or human emotions in them. They were just black. Purity wondered who this woman was and why she’d been staring at her with such eyes. But right now, she didn’t care. Giving her a cold stare, the woman removed her eyes from Purity’s and scurried away.
Purity felt she had won. She smiled to herself and drove off.
*
*
*
“What are you doing here?” Jeremy asked Tricia as she stepped into his office.

She ignored him. Threw her things on the mohagony desk and settled on a chair facing Jeremy. As she sat, she crossed her legs.

Jeremy quietly watched her settle down. He was tapping his fountain pen on the desk, examining her.
“Aren’t you going to give me an answer? And have I not warned you not to dress like this to visit me?”

She scoffed. “Listen to me. I’m not your girlfriend anymore. I can dress anyhow I want to.”

“Right. But,” he raised his brows. “You’re still coming to visit me, so watch the way you dress.” he warned.

“I can’t believe you’re talking to me like this. What went wrong? I don’t understand.”

He frowned. “State your business.”

“Don’t try to act formal with me,” she had begun to raise her voice. “I’m here to see you and talk with you. I demand an explanation. Why did you break up with me?”

Jeremy was amazed. What the hell is this bitch talking about? He gave a throaty laugh. “From what I can remember, you ended the relationship. Your exact words, I can still recall; ‘Jeremy Broderick. Its over between us, I hate you and will hate you for the rest of my life. I never want to be seen around you.’ Am I correct?”

“That was then. I didn’t mean it. I want you back.”

“Well,” he snorted, “Its too late. I told you I am engaged, didn’t I?”

She swallowed. “Few days after the break up you’re already having a fiancee? You were in a hurry to get rid of me?”

“That wasn’t what exactly happened.”

“Oh, yeah.” she straightened her legs. “I don’t really want to know. Do you know how much I love you? How much I really want to be with you?”

“Tricia, I do not know. Honestly, I don’t think I want to know. Please, stop all that.”

Tricia got up, placed both hands on the desk and looked affectionately at him. “I know you still love me. And I love you too.”

“Hell, no. I don’t!” he blurted.

“You don’t? Never, didn’t?”

“Mm-hmm.”

She began shedding tears. Placed her right hand on her hair and drew it back.


>>

After Drinking:

Men talk unnecessarily,Become emotional,Drive badly,Stop thinking,Fight 4 nothing,…..



Women can do all dis without Drinking…!!!



Natural talent you know .. ????Related

Akpos and his wife was having a walk one evening. As they pass the nearby market a handsome guy selling meat waved Akpos`s wife and she responded. "Who was that" says Akpos. "He is my very good customer that use to sell meat for me well. I like him so much.", responded the wife. Akpos wasn`t happy inside him but he kept it to himself. As they kept going, Akpos saw a girl by the other side of the road and waved her. "Honey who was that girl?" said his wife. She use to rob my back when u stay long at the market.




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-03 16:38:02

1278 Views




Santa: Women are like microwaves.

Banta: How? Because they cook food?

Santa: No. Because they are hazardous to our health.Related

Mujh Par Sitam Dha Gaye Meri Hi Ghazal Ke Sher;

Padh-Padh Ke Kho Rahe Hain Woh, Kisi Aur Ke Khayal Mein!Related

I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings;

I’m a drunkard, I go to parties!Related

SCHOOL REUNION [Read it]


My former schoolmates sent me a
message saying we should pay N50,000
for Secondary School Reunion... I replied, "N50,000 for just Secondary
School reunion?!!! It's not by force to
see you all. We shall meet in Heaven!"
#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-18 16:49:19

374 Views




AWKWARD MOMENT JOKE BY DINDY (PART 6)

That awkward moment when you barge into the bathroom without knocking and you become confused by what you see.
:____
:_____
:______
:_______
Girl: [Covering up] Oh my gosh!, Dindy I'm naked.
Dindy: [confused]
Girl: What do you want?.
Dindy: [Eyes widely opened looking confused] I want to buy chin chin......
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Watch out for part 7.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-11-26 18:32:03

144 Views




His uncircumsized phallus was as long
as that of a horse, if not longer, and I
wondered within myself if he would be
able to penetrate me.
The phallus stood erect pointing
menacingly towards me. I was still staring
at the Alhaji’s long phallus when he
suddenly grabbed me and yanked me onto
the bed.
My heart instantly flew into my chest. I
had heard lots of stories about ladies who
died in the course of this business and I
never imagined such fate for myself.
“Please take it easy sir,” I begged
squeezing my face. I guess the sight of my
nude body must have charged him
beyond control.
“Come here!” He commanded forcing my
two legs apart. I hesitated but gave way as
I noticed the aggression accompanying his
lust. I felt sharp pain hit my tummy as he
roughly penetrated me. The Alhaji wasn’t
romantic at all. Wam bam wam bam, he
rocked back and forth like a bull without
control striking the mouth of my womb
with reckless abandon. He continued like
this for over one hour before he started
groaning in ecstasy as he ejaculated his
load inside me.
Then he rolled off and lay on the bed
panting. “Wahali you sweet die,” he said to
me fondling my b00bs.
I didn’t respond as I lay still in pain. I felt
cramping pain all over my pelvic region
and down my legs. All through the night,
Alhaji f.u.c.k.e.d me mercilessly in every
position imaginable. I couldn’t tell where
he got his energy from.
Who knows, he must have taken viagra
before coming to the hotel. He finally
slept off around 3am in the morning. By
that time I was totally exhausted and
almost giving up. I felt peppery sensation
all over my p***y area but endured it
after-all my 450k patiently waited for me.
But then something very terrifying
happened. Alhaji was lying dead beside
me on the
bed by the time I woke up the next
morning...
See Gobe.

>> Episode 9 -

Tunde: i see why Desmond made you is friend(laughed all
Tina: but Alfred;why did you didn't call Georgina instead of Stephanie
Tunde: don't even start(to Tina) Alfred: you are right;is just that the last time we got drunk;she was the one who took care of us;so i felt she is the best person that is why i called her. nothing more nothing less
Anita: and its a good thing called her because she knows how to take care of anybody
Tina: why don't we call Gina;so that she know the situation at hand
Tosan: you are right
Tosin: there is no need is only going to make the situation complicated

Ayo: he is right;lets forget about Georgina for now
Anita: he is right;lets forget her
Tina: why would you say we should forget her?just like that?when you all know that if there is anyone;that is suppose to be here it should be her
Tosan: please don't start
Tina: oh!you girls are labelling me bad in the eyes of everyone here
Tosan: is not like that;is just that you are flogging this issue unnecessarily

Tina: okay;you can all gang up on me(enter Stephanie with a cup of coffee)young woman;what is that?
Stephanie: is a cup of coffee;i was hoping to check on Desmond;if he is up,he can drink this. it will make him feel better
Tina: don't worry i will just help you check on him
Stephanie: really?
Tina: yes
Stephanie: thank you(he hand her the cup of coffee and she left)i am glad she want to help
Tosan: but sometimes she behavior rudely(laughed all)(at Desmond's room)
Tina: oh dear;you such a cute boy(she drop the cup of coffee and sit close to him on the bed)don't worry i know you will get through with it(he turn with his face towards her)even at sleep;you still look good. oh God;i really admired you. i wish he is my boyfriend(she touches his lips and kissed him;he open his eyes)
Desmond: hey;young woman;what are you doing?(he still con not see clearly)
Tina: i am sorry;i wanted to....no;is just that.....no....
Desmond(he clean his eyes)Tina
Tina: yes;it is me
Desmond: what are you doing here
Tina: i brought you a cup if coffee to refresh your
Desmond: thank you,i am grateful(he drink the coffee)you can leave
Tina: i am so sorry;i never meant to.....(he cut her short)
Desmond: is nothing;just go
Tina: please don't tell your cousin

Desmond: don't worry;i won't. you can leave now(she walked away)what is wrong with this girl?is like she have problem with her head(he clean his lips)my headache(he walked into the sitting room)
Tunde: welcome back
Desmond: we have a full house
Tosan: yes;we came to give you a welcome back party
Desmond: so is because of my stupid that made you all come?
Ann: yes but your action is not that stupid because at one point or the other everyone get drunk
Desmond: i know you don't want to make me feel bad about my action
Alfred: just forget about what happen;is one of those things

Desmond: and i also know that all this us your hand work
Alfred: what is my handwork?
Desmond: you know what i am saying(he stared at the girls)
Alfred: yes (enter Stephanie)
Stephanie: good evening Desmond(he rise his head)
Desmond: what are you doing here
Alfred: young man;what kind of question is that?
Desmond: oh you don't know;anyway I don't expect you to know but all i want is for this woman to leave my house;right now
Tunde: but can't you see that it is getting dark
Desmond: i don't care
Stephanie: i am sorry Desmond for embarrassing you in front of all those crowd. i am really sorry i know its difficult for you to to forgive me but please find it in your heart to forgive me for all the pains i cause you
Desmond: wait;let me get something right;is it because i help you with your problem and all you want to do is pay me back by apologising to me?no;things are not done that way because...
Stephanie: yes;it is because you help me out because i realised that you still care for me and that....
Desmond: who ever gave you that notion must be deceiving you. so stay way from me and get out of my sight
Tosin: will you for once see reason with her and forgive her
Ayo: she has been begging you;why don't you forgive her
Desmond: i forgive you is the most easy thing to say but have you thought about my ability to forget what she did to me was also needed
Ayo: we all know that but for now lets focus on forgiving her first
Desmond: but now i don't feel like forgiving her for all that she has done to me. lets just remain the way we used to be

Stephanie: i said i am sorry;i am really sorry;i am sorry because you were there for me when i needed you but i was not there for you when you think me(he walked towards the stair)i am sorry because i want to show appreciation for what you done for you(she walked towards him and continue talking)yes;i am sorry for been self central;i am sorry thinking of just myself without thinking of our friends(with tears in her eyes) i am sorry for all the pains but i am not sorry because i want make it up to you for helping me(she take his hand)but because i missed you(he pull her hand from his hand and push her and she missed her step and fall towards the floor)
All: (shouting)Jesus(He turned and saw her)
Desmond: oh my God!(he rushed after her but when she get to the floor,she fainted)someone should give me an helping hand(he carried her to the couch) get me a glass of water
Tunde: you see what your stubbornness is causing us?now she is unconscious
Desmond: will you for once keep quiet and help me fan her
Tosan: here is the water
Desmond: thank you(he sprinkle some on her)is like she is conscious now. lift her head a little;so she can feel comfortable(Tunde lift her head)
Stephanie: i want to drink water(Desmond left and return with a glass of water)
Desmond: here is it
Stephanie: thank you(she drink the water and Desmond walked away)
Anita: you get me scared;thank God;you are alright
Stephanie: i am alright;is nothing
Ann: how you sure you are alright?i hope you did not have any injury?
Tina: or will should take you to the hospital for check up

Alfred: i am sorry;it was my action that would had cause you your life
Stephanie: don't worry i am not dying yet because my head is too strong and my legs are also too strong to kick the bucket(all laughed)so don't be afraid
Ayo: you are funny
Stephanie: i need to start going home
Ann: but it is already passed eight Anita: why don't we spend the night here first thing tomorrow we go home
Stephanie: don't worry;you can stay,i will just fine by way home
Ayo: do you want to risk your life by walking alone this night?
Stephanie: don't worry;i will be friend(exit)
Alfred: what kind of thing is this(she walked away with tears run down her chin)she is so stubborn(enter Desmond)i wish i could stop her
Desmond: where is Stephie
Tina: she has left
Desmond: be serious for once;where is she?
Tina: i thought you said, 'she should leave your house?
Desmond: i did but where is she?
Anita: she left;you know how stubborn she is?we try to stop her but she refuse
Desmond: what?(he rushed out to look for her)
Ayo: where is he going?
Tina: to look for his lost love Anita: don't be ridiculous
Tina: i was joking
Alfred: that is an expensive joke (outside the compound two boys saw her and were calling her) Boy 1: hey young lady;come here(she increase her footstep)will you come here?(she ran and they run after her)will you stop there(they grab her)come;follow us Stephanie; let me go. i did nothing to hurt. why not let me go?
Boy 2:will you shut your mouth(they pull her to the bush)keep quiet;now lie down(she screamed)
Stephanie: somebody help me;help
Boy 1: keep quiet(he hit her)
Desmond: that should be Stephanie voice
Boy 2: since you don't want to keep quiet;i will make you(he slapped her and tear her dress)now lie down
Stephanie: (she cry)please;don't hurt me(she struggle to cover her body)
Desmond: Stephie;Stephie where are you?
Boy 1: be fast about it
Stephanie: please don't rape me(she screamed and they try to cover her mouth)somebody help me
Boy 2: useless girl;come on;hold her hand






SEE MORE....


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-08 15:34:51

427 Views




1. Nigerians don't ever rest. Even
after death, they still work as ancestors,
collecting kolanuts,white fowl and aromatic
Schnapp.

2. In Hollywood, you feel people's
pulse to know whether they're
dead or alive. In Nollywood, just
pick the hand and drop it.

3. If You Marry A Girl That Can't
Cook, Bros Your Case Dey "MR BIGGS"

4. When next you check your
boyfriend's texts.
Ignore his chats with girls, and check
the ones with guys. That's where the
truth is.

5. No matter how expensive your
Wrist watch is,
as long as it won't tell you Christ's
Second coming, its as Useless as the "p"in Psycho

6. If you have attended over 100
weddings and you are still single.
Sister, you are no longer different
from a canopy.

7. You don't have to be in UK to be
OK, Help comes from Above not Abroad.

9.Ladies are wicked. They will lay on
your chest and ask, "Honey have you ever
cheated on me?" ...then wait for your heart to
beat fast

10 . A cockroach is afraid of a rat,
a rat is afraid of a cat,
cat is afraid of a dog,
a dog is afraid of a man,
a man is afraid of his girlfriend
a girlfriend is afraid of a cockroach.

11. If At 16, your boobs already
looking like DUNLOP SLIPPERS?
You got a question to answer.

12. LAST SEEN: Whatsapp- 1Min ago
BBM - 5Mins ago
Twitter- 2Mins ago
BIBLE - 2002.
My dear, the Devil has soaked your
cane in kerosene

13. Girls won't call for a long time But
when u call they will ask "this one u remembered me today"
they don't remember person?

14. BBM and Whatsapp have been
rated as the 2nd and 3rd app for
chats and gossip. but Women still
retain the 1st position.

15. Wedding ring is the smallest
handcuff ever made. So think dip,
choose your prison mate carefully &
sentence urself wisely to avoid Prison break

16.To those who commit suicide;
why are you so selfish? Why kill
yourself when so many people are
looking for who to use for money rituals.

17. As a matter of fact, there's no
female angel in the Bible. If any guy
calls you an angel, na wash.........
.
.
.
.
GO-GETTER(sfn)


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-04 09:33:10

2317 Views




Not everyone can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut…
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But then again, not everyone cuts their own hair.Related

He :- hiiiiii…. ????

she:- How are you? :-/

.

He:- I m fine,thank you. ????

.

She :- Maine puchha,how are

you? :-/

.

He:- I replied na.. M fine. ????

.

She :- ek to tum logo ka angrezi ka

problem bahut hai upar se aa gaye fb pe chat

karne… Maine puchha ‘How are you?? Matlab

tum kaun

ho? :-/

.

He :- Didi,bas apna chhota bhai samjho. :pRelated

Files piled up on his desk and Adam his P.A kept bringing in more and more files. They all needed his signature. He wished Adam could sign just like him so he’d get to sign on those papers. Jeremy was in no mood to work. He still couldn’t get over the shock he felt last night. Seeing Purity in the arms of his cousin got him crazy. It was appaling. He never imagined Purity doing that. But Tricia took him there and she had told him she was with Ernest. Could it be that they plotted that? Ernest just arrived, how was that even possible? Purity bothered him more, he had to know what she was doing with that man. She was pure? Had she been lying to him? There were so many douts, he just didn’t know what to think anymore.

The door of his office opened, Adam walked in, carrying a pile of files. Jeremy stared at him motionless.

“Sir?” Adam was worried about his boss. He has entered his office up to three times and his boss had just sat down without saying a word to him. He wasn’t his normal cheerful self. Something was wrong. He had to be happy, only last night he had his engagement part, why is he now sulky? Adam couldn’t bear to see his boss that way. He had to help him. He so much wanted to.
“Sir?” he called again.

Jeremy didn’t respond.

Adam gently squeezed his shoulder.

Jeremy shuddered on fright, feeling a hand on his shoulder. When he got to see that it was Adam, he tried calming his nerves.

“Don’t be scared, boss. Its me, Adam.” he tried to pacify him. Seeing his reaction, he knew that all was not well. “I don’t think you are fine.”

Jeremy groaned and relaxed back on the chair. He raked a hand through his hair. “Is my fiancee here?” She was still his, no matter how angry he was at her.

“You mean Purity Theodore?” Adam was relieved that his boss had spoken.

He nodded in affirmation.

“No. No one’s here.”

Jeremy glanced at his wrist watch. What’s keeping her? She should be here by now. “If she comes, please let her in.”

“Alright. Are you okay?”

That question was unexpected. “I am fine.”

“I don’t think you are. There is so much work to do and you’ve not done any.” He drew his attention to the piled up files on his desk. “Not only that, you haven’t said a word to me this morning until now. You are not yourself. If you are not okay, you should rest. All these can wait.”

Jeremy was impressed. There was someone who cared about him besides his family. He felt loved, like any brother would have for him. He smiled in appreciation. “Thanks Adam. I’ll just wait here in my office for Purity and rest at the same time.”

Adam was happy. “That will be better. I’m sure Miss Theodore can help you feel better. I’m off.”

Inwardly, Jeremy hoped that Purity would make him feel better. She just had to. The way he felt, only she had made him that way. He had never been that angry at any woman before, neither had he been jealous. It was good he could keep is feelings in check. It would have been too bad for his cousin if he didn’t know how. He’d have strangled him.

He raised his head and was stunned to see a female figure sitting comfortably on a chair opposite him. There was a lovely smile on her face which he considered disgusting. Her appearance was only going to add to his troubles. If Purity comes and find them together? He had to get rid of her.
“How did you get in here without my knowledge?”

She smiled broadly. “When I got here, you were deep in thoughts. So, I preferred sitting here and waiting till you got back from the world of fantasy.”

Darn it! Was he that absorbed in those thoughts? “Did you even knock?”

“I don’t need to knock. I’m already familiar with this company.”

A slight frown of disapproval appeared on Jeremy’s face. Arguing with her wasn’t on his menu, the little strength he had, he had to reserve it for Purity-that would be hell.
“Tell me what you came for?”

“You are looking weary, are you good?” She bluntly ignored his statement.

“If you don’t have anything doing here, get out.” He was rude, but that didn’t bother him.

Tricia wrinkled her nose. “I know you’re still hurt and getting over what you saw last night. I’m here to help.”

Her statement troubled him more. “What do you mean by that? Help me with what? I don’t remember texting you or calling you to come help me out.”

She rolled her eyes. “Relax, I know you didn’t ask for my help. As a good friend that I’ve always been, I figured out you need it.”

Jeremy scratched his head. “What kind of help are you here to offer?”

She grinned. “You are heartbroken. You are in need of a company.”

He gave a mocking laugh. “Who told you I’m heartbroken?”

“I said, I just figured out you could be.” She shifted uncomfortably on the chair.

He shook his head in amusement. “Now, your help isn’t needed. Please, leave.”

Tricia pursed her lips. Now, that didn’t work out. Something else has to. “Why do you hate my presence this much? Jeremy, we’ve been friends, more than friends for close to four years now. Suddenly, you begin disliking me? What did I do wrong? Any time I come to visit, its either you throw me out or walk out on me.” She stood up and paced around his office.

Jeremy silently examined her.

“Today, I came to render assistance,” She turned to face him. “I know you are not okay after seeing what you saw last night. I came to help you get better and now you ask me to leave? I’m heartbroken too.”

He instantly felt sorry for her. Maybe she truly wanted to help him. “Tricia, sit down. I’m sorry for reacting the way I did. Honestly, I am not fine.”

She smiled to herself and resumed her seat. “What is bothering you?”

He placed his left elbow on his desk and rested his head on that arm. “I just don’t get it. What were they doing out there all alone in the dark? That was Purity’s engagement party. How could she? What does she even have with Ernest?”

“I’m as confused as you are. Don’t know why Ernest broke my heart this way,” she muttered sadly.

Jeremy stared at her. “What’s with you? Weeks before that party, you were all over me and even wanted to work with me. Now you say you’re heartbroken, how is that even possible?”

That question hit her hard. “You want me to keep mourning you? I dare not. I’ve got other things to do.”

He kept looking at her in askance. “I really hope that’s true.” He was sure she wasn’t saying the truth. He could read her like a book. “Have you heard from Ernest? What did he tell you?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. Have you?”

“I don’t even like him. There’s something sinister about him. Need to talk to Purity before anyone else. He might tell lies about her.”

“Talk to him first. Your virgin might be the one lying. You never can tell.”

“You sound so convinced, like you know a lot about her. Tell me what you know.”

“I don’t know anything.” She denied.

Jeremy wasn’t buying that. “Out with it.”

She sighed. “Okay. Don’t tell anyone about this. Ernest mentioned to me that they had met years back and kind of dated.”

Jeremy couldn’t believe what he just heard. Dated? Dated? Purity had told him she had never dated any guy. He was the person who had stolen her first kiss. What was this devil trying to do? Split them apart? He was suddenly crazed with anger. “Who gave you the guts to say such lies about my fiancee to my face?” he hauled himself off the swivel chair.

Tricia was scared. “Its… Its..the…..truth.”

“The truth? What do you hope to gain if you put us apart? Purity was in Ernest arms last night. You took me up and showed them to me. How did you even know they were there, together? You two most have planned it. I don’t even get how Ernest is involved but you, you’re no exception.”

Tricia was ashamed of herself. She had to cover it up. “How dare you accuse me of that? Yes, I was in love with you, but I no longer do. I…. I only told you what he told me. I’m hurt as well. The second time by two cousins. Jeremy, I’m hurt.”

“Get out!” he barked at her.

She didn’t know what demon had possessed Jeremy. She hadn’t seen him that way before. He trusted Purity so much and protected her. We’ll see if that trust remains after what he saw and what she just told him. Let’s see if he can protect her from this, she thought silently to herself. Receiving one more blank look from Jeremy, she scurried away.

To Be Continued

Sorry for the delay
Drop your comments, it motivates me

>>

Telephone Conversation between a Yahoo Yahoo boy and potential Maga (Akpos)
Phone Rings..



Akpos: Hello? Who am I speaking with Pls?



Yahoo boy: Ah, don't u know who is calling?



Akpos: No I don't, the number is restricted.



Yahoo boy: How is Ligeria?



Akpos: Nigeria is fine but who am I speaking with?



Yahoo boy: It's your friend from London.



Akpos: I have a couple of friends in London which of them is this?



Yahoo boy: Just guess.



Akpos: Em, is it Fatai?



Yahoo boy: Yes! It's me Fatai!



Akpos: Ah! Fatai! Looonggg time no see, how now? How is London?



Yahoo boy: London is fine, how is Ligeria?



Akpos: Nigeria dey there o, the usual wahala, Ehen! The other day I saw
ur mother, she is very sick o, dat was two weeks ago, I am sure she
should be dead by now....



Yahoo boy: Ah!



Akpos: Yes o, your father's house in the village rain-storm blew away
the roof and it landed on the old mans legs and shattered them, he is at
Ogwa presently ......



Yahoo boy: Shuuooooo:O!



Akpos: ....yes o, the bone mender says it will not heal because he has
diabetes, later they said tetanus has entered already, the man is
quarter to go, your younger brother went to smoke Igbo with those bad
boys and since then the guy kolo, he is in Uselu psychiatric now, your
elder brother went to a burial at Ugbegunebudin he went to drink anyhow
there, they nack am epilepsy there, he is just falling every time .....



Yahoo boy: Haaaaa!!!!!



Akpos: ...wait o, there is more, your sister carry belle, e go do aborti ....



Yahoo boy: You wait! E don do for you! I reject everything you say in Jesus name! Those things will never happen to me....



Akpos: Ah! Is this not Fatai, they have already happened ...

Yahoo boy: I am not Fatai, you idiot, na God go punish u.



Akpos: Na devil go solder ur yash, no go find work bloody thief! 419...wait make I burn your credit small,idiot.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-16 08:24:06

108 Views




Overheard in Delhi Metro:

Punjabi Aunty 1: Inka Operation Karvana kai, “Max Hospital” Kaisa hai?

Punjabi Aunty 2: Bilkul Bekaar, Uski Canteen Mein “Chole Bhature” hi Nahi Milte!Related

my Virgin story
Episode 7

“Awo!”I screamed as I saw him.
The p-----t must have been watching us
for quite sometime because there was a
satisfied grin on his face and it seemed
he had been self-servicing as he watched
life blue film. He was supposed to be out
of town but i knew he would forever
thank God for whatever had brought him
back to school ahead of schedule to see
what he had always dreamt of as he once
told me; a live session of steamy hot s-x.
Well, I wasn’t going to fulfill the p-----
t’s fantasies.
Frowning at the intrusion, I moved to the
window to pull the curtain to block his
view and continue with Sandra. As i
moved closer I saw him look at
something outside and then the grin on
his face faded and he looked grim. He
spoke before I could pull the curtain and I
could only make out one word that struck
terror into my heart.
“Titi!”
I looed at Titi’s face and all the passion
in my body dissolved instantly.
“What’s happening?”she asked.
“Titi is coming”
we hurriedly struggled into our clothes.
she wore her top and I wore my boxers
and my trousers just as we heard
approaching footsteps. I hear Titi’s voice
as she exchanged greetings with Awo
outside. Sandra rushed under the bed. I
quickly smoothed the bed and went to
open the door. I found a pensive Titi by
the door. Both Titi and Awo entered.
“What were you doing in the room that
you locked the door?”
“I was playing rough with Awo.”I said. I
quickly signed to Awo, who nodded when
Titi gave him a questioning look. She
went to my bed and sat down.
“So why did you come back so early?”
I was trying to divert her attention from
the suspicion as she was already looking
around the room with a questioning look.
She said she didn’t see one of her uncles
that she was supposed to spend the
night in his house and so she had to
return early. Then she asked why the bed
was so rough and i said it was when I
was playing rough with Awo. She looked
at him and he nodded again.She said she
had been calling me to tell me she was
around and I have not been picking. I
saw 15 missed calls on my phone. She
seemed calm now but there was still a
curious look in her eyes. I knew she must
have been wondering what why
something just doesn’t seem right.
Then something really bad happened
She spotted Sandra’s pant on the floor
and picked it up.
“Whose pant is this?”
I stammered initially, then I said it
belonged to one of Arsenal’s girls. she
examined the pant closelyand said she
knows it belongs to her room mate,
Sandra. I denied it initially but she said
she could recognise that pant anywhere
because Sandra liked it very much. She
turned to me, her face grim.
“Tell me what Sandra’s pant is doing in
your room.”
I had no choice but to confess to her.
The lid is up. Sandra came out from
under the bed. I couldn’t even look at
titi’s face. I felt so ashamed of myself.
Sandra didn’t really care. I saw Titi’s
face screwed up and I knew she wanted
to cry. Then she dashed out of the room.
Sandra did not even speak to me, she left
silently. I was surprised that she seemed
not to feel guilty at what she had done.
Awo followed her. then I was left alone in
my misery.
The following day, I called Jumoke(Miss
campus) to help me beg Titi. If she would
listen to anybody it would be her. But i
knew in my heart it was an abortive
attempt. things would never remain the
same. When I finally saw Titi on the third
day, I beggd her as she cried. She said
she had given me everything she had
including her whole heart except her
body and I had betrayed her by
shattering her heart. Then I got the
information that broke my heart. Sandra
actually seduced me deliberately so as to
get back at titi for abusing her one night.
She had come back late with an aristo
dropping her off and Titi had abused her
that she was a useless girl. Well, she
plannd to show her how useless she was
by seducing and bleeping her boyfriend.
How could a girl be so heartless?
Ladies, if you were in titi’s shoes, would
you accept the guy back in your life?
to be continued

>>

Who love me most (season 2) episode 2

Chidi later agreed on going to nigeria, he told aunty rose the date he could love to go,he was going not because he loved to but because he thought about what aunty rose told him and wanted to give it a try,aunty rose called Mr Jonathan to inform him that chidi will be in nigeria in less then a week,Mr and Mrs Jonathan was so happy that he has finally agreed to come home.it was the day that chidi was to leave his flight was 10:30pm,he has got prepared, he was in his room at about 7pm in the evening arranging his luggage when aunty rose entered.

Aunty rose smiling )i can see you are getting ready

Chidi :yeah,i am just making sure I don't leave any important things behind,aunty i can't pack everything so I don't know

Aunty rose :that's not a problem, you just leave the ones you till need and i will send them to nigeria when you get there,that is if you have no intention of coming back.

Chidi :hmmmmmm,well even if i decided to stay back i don't think i will need some many of them,it not much, i have already given some to my friends,so the remaining one you can keep them ,you can send me the wrist watched,necklaces and some shoes i keep at my wardrobe, if you open it you will see them.

Aunty rose h that's okey,so have you called your dad

Chidi :yes I did,they are preparing for my return, they even wanted to hold a party but I declined, i don't want anyone to know that i am in nigeria

Aunty rose :well that's good,there is so much work to be done here

Chidi :yeah,i don't even know how i got all this clothes

Aunty rose :are you asking me,you love buying things and that is what you should work on,you till have some in the store house

Chidi :you will do away with all that,i don't need them and beside they are all old.

Aunty rose :i will do that,why don't you rest for now ,you till have up to an hour before you leave for the airport.

Chidi :i know, i just don't want to forget anything,

Aunty rose :if you say so,come and eat something before you go,the table has been prepared.

Chidi key am coming

Aunty rose :not okey let's go,because if i leave you here you won't come down stairs to eat so after you

Chidi :aunty how come you know me so well

Aunty rose :that's why I am your aunty, so shall we

Chidi :you know you will always win

Aunty rose :yes I agree come on

They both went down stairs to eat,it was time for chidi to go Aunty rose drove him to the airport,chidi knows he will surely miss her so much because she was the one that made him more then just a man,he arrived at the airport and said farewell to aunty rose,his flight was great,the next day morning chidi arrived at lagos international airport,he took his luggage and headed to the entrance of the airport, he saw many people who was waiting for their loved ones that was when he saw a boy holding a white carbon paper and his name was written on it,he walked down to him and ask if he was sent by his father immediately the boy knew he was the one he is waiting for ,the boy helped chidi with his luggage and put it in the car,chidi also entered the car and the boy drove out of the airport, on their way home chidi gazed at all the areas he passes and was amaze,to him lagos now look different to him.

Chidi :what is your name

Boy:my name is ike sir

Chidi :you must be new

Ike:yes sir ,i just started work seven months ago

Chidi :i see,how old are you

Ike :28 sir

Chidi :good,you do know around lagos very well

Ike:this is where I was born sir

Chidi key,there is some places you will take me to but not today okey

Ike:no problem sir

Chidi :please call me chidi,sir sounds ridiculous

Ike:but sir

Chidi :ike don't worry about my father if that is what you are thinking, okey

Ikekey sir chidi

Chidi laughed

Ike :let me put sir to it,please

Chidi key suit yourself.

Ike :thank you

In no time they arrived at the Jonathan mansion, the gate was opened and Ike drove in,as soon as Mr and Mrs Jonathan heard the car horns they both went outside to welcome their son,chidi was also happy to see them,they all embrace eachother, the maids was called to take chidi luggages into the his room,they all went inside laughing and talking,after chidi had his bath he came down stairs to have his breakfast, Mr and Mrs Jonathan was already at the dinner table waiting for him,he seat down and the maid dish out the food,after Mr Jonathan blessed the food they all began to eat.

Chidi :hmmmmmmm,mum i really miss your cooking.

Mrs Jonathan laughed

Mrs Jonathan :do you like it

Chidi :like is an understatement, i love it,it been a long time since I tasted your food

Mrs Jonathan :yes you are right,don't worry i will make sure you enjoy more of this

Chidi :i trust you mum,i know what you can do

They both laughed

Mr Jonathan :there is a good news too

Chidi :what

Mr Jonathan :Judith just gave birth yesterday

Judith has been married for five years now,she had her first baby three years ago,chidi actually attended the wadding from London, the wadding was held in dubai,she is now living in the US with her husband.

Chidi amazed )wow,her second child

Mrs Jonathan:yes a girl

Chidi happy )i can't believe this,nice

Mr Jonathan :i and your mother will be travelling to see her in two days time

Chidi key

Mr Jonathan :we don't know when we are going to return because I will be holding a meeting there also.

Chidi ooooo, wish I could come

Mr Jonathan :you need to stay here,i need you to take care of some things while am gone

Chidi :so quick, and what will I be taking care of

Mrs Jonathan:didn't your aunty tell you

Chidi was confused

Chidi :tell me what

Mrs Jonathan :that your father has opened your own company.

Chidi:dad,i don't get

Mr Jonathan:chidi you are my only son,that i know but I don't want you to work under me,so I want you to run your own company, i want to see how you will make progress with it.

Chidi :dad am speechless, i don't know what to say

Mr Jonathan:don't say anything, you made me proud, business has already been in progress, it has been open for just six months now

Chidi :this is amazing

Mrs Jonathan :now you see why we needed you home

Chidi was so happy and excited

Chidi :thanks dad,thanks mum,you guys are best parents ever.

Mr Jonathan :no problem, tomorrow i will take you there so that you will know where to start from,i believe you can do this.

Chidi :you don't have to worry about that,am equal to the task.

Mr Jonathan was happy that chidi was now ready to face his own responsibility, he is no longer the boy he knew, he has become what he always wanted him to be,chidi knew he has to work very hard to impress his dad and mum,he has a lot to work on.

LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS AND
READ NEXT EPISODE

>>

Bharo maang meri bharo, karo pyaar mujhe karo

This is called sanskaari love, pehle maang bharo phir pyaar karo.

Babuji!!!!Related

Little Akpors was attending his first
wedding with a whole lot of his family
members present.
After the service, his younger cousin,
Ejiro, asked him, “How many women can
a man marry?”
“Sixteen.” Akpors responded boldly.
Ejiro was amazed that he answered so
quickly and asked; “How do you know
that?”
“Easy,” Akpors replied, “all you have to do
is add it up, like the preacher said: ‘Four
better, four worse, four richer, four
poorer’.
One word for Akpors this time around?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-08 10:25:36

472 Views




I know how much it hurts when your heart gets broken, but time will heal it.

~ Theresa

~ Wizard of Waverly PlaceRelated

A dying old man on his bed and a pastor


PASTOR: Rebuke the devil old man before you die so that he will flee away from you!
OLD MAN: [Silent]
PASTOR: I say rebuke the devil so that he will flee away from you!
OLD MAN: [Still Silent]
PASTOR: [Shouting at the top of his voice] I said you should rebuke the devil so that he will flee away from you!!!
OLD MAN: [In a low tune] Please my son my son, I don't know where am going after I die now...so I don't want to provoke anybody and cause more problem for myself.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-11 17:42:48

215 Views




An Igbo engineer called Akpos can't find a job so he opens a clinic and
puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR 20k - IF NOT
CURED GET BACK 100k
A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn 100k and
goes to the clinic...
Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste"
Igbo man: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3
drops in patient's mouth"
Lawyer: "Ugh..this is kerosene"
Igbo man: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me
20k"
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his
money...
Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything"
Igbo man: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3
drops in his mouth"
Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last
time for restoring my taste"
Igbo man: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me
20k"
The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week
later determined to get back 100k.
Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak"
Igbo man: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take
this 100k"
Lawyer (staring at the cash): "But this is 20k, not 100k"
Igbo man: "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me 20k"
.
You can't beat an Igbo man


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-08 21:13:35

531 Views




One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn’t look safe; he looked poor and hungry. He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was those chills which only fear can put in you. He said, “I’m here to help you, ma’am. Why don’t you wait in the car where it’s warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.”

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn’t thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.

He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, “And think of me.”

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn’t erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan.

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin.

There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: “You don’t owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I’m helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do, do not let this chain of love end with you.” Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard… She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, “Everything’s going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.”

There is an old saying “What goes around comes around.”



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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After quite a number of days of being admitted in the hospital, Santa to his wife, Jeeto: I’m worried, dear. I don’t think doctors have any idea about my ailment.

Jeeto: What makes you think that way?

Santa: The “Suggestion Box” at the end of the bed!Related

The prophecy; joy in the palace

(You are welcome to another episode of this
story. Do you remember we were talking
about some spirits moving towards Dele…
let’s get to know what happened)
Dele was on the ground, his eyes were
closing, the spirit were moving closer. The
spirits were seven in number with the
intention of passing some messages to Dele.
Dele was conscious but his eyes were closed,
too heavy for him to open because he was
weak. The spirits surrounded Dele and
immediately Dele was feeling cold and
shivering.
“Dele, you don’t know us but we know you”
said one of the spirits. “We are the seven
warriors that fought for OROPO land and
forcefully took it away from the foreigners.
We sent away all wild animals in the land
and made it to be a village. We gave it the
name OROPO because of the resources that
is in abundance”. Another said “Dele, the
trees, the wind, the waters and the land have
received the grief and groaning of OROPO
people. The gods have heard them and the
gods are ready to deliver them”. Their voices
were loud echoes of sound which seemed to
be travelling afar but it was only directed to
Dele. “Dele, we are not here to terrify you but
here to deliver the message of the gods to
you”. And their voices were unified and they
said,
” Your flesh and blood will deliver this land
Your flesh and blood will rule this land
His flesh and blood will kill him”… After
saying all these statements, they vanished
slowly and passed away with the wind.
Dele was still on the ground, tired, terrified,
and still cold. After a while, a man who was
tall, dark in complexion, with a great
physique came out of the deep part of the
forest which was near to the big farm of Dele
in Araromi. The man was actually going
home when he saw the body of Dele on the
ground thinking it was a dead body. “Who is
this?” He said quietly to himself. He turned
the body in such a way that its facing heaven
to realise that its Dele and that he is not
dead.( You will be wondering how did he
know Dele. The man’s name was
OGUNSAKIN, a hunter in Araromi village who
was in a trade by barter business with Dele;
giving Dele meat in turn for Dele’s farm
products. Sakin,also was a good friend to
Dele).
“Dele! Dele!” Sakin shouted his name, and
after noticing that Dele did not answer, he
carried Dele to his own home which was
located in the middle of Araromi village. Sakin
took care of Dele. Dele was okay and could
actually recognise Sakin. Dele explained
everything to Sakin but he couldn’t remember
what the spirits told him.
Early the following morning, Folashade who
was worried about her husband that has not
returned from the farm since the previous
day. “Where did he branch?”, “what is he
doing?”, “what happened to him?” These are
the thought of the beloved wife of Dele. “How
I wished he was home now to rejoice with
me” she said.
Not quite long after Folashade’s thoughts,
sitting outside their clay moulded house, she
saw Dele and Sakin coming from afar. She
ran towards them, Dele face was still very
dull and he still looks tired. “What
happened?” She asked Sakin. “Just let him
go in and rest properly” Sakin replied.
Folashade offered food to both Dele and
Sakin, “not now” Dele said faintly. “But
before you sleep, oko mi(my husband), I’m
pregnant” she said with so much joy. Sakin
rejoiced and congratulated both of them but
Dele couldn’t express his joy because he was
still tired inside, he could only kiss Folashade
and looked up to heaven to thank the gods.
Afterwards he slept.
Meanwhile in the palace, there was so
much joy and happiness because the queen,
Adesewa also had conceived a child. The
king, Adeagbo called his
People to come over to his palace. He gave
them foods, meats, drinks and there was
merriment.
(Is the king beginning to change? Has the
gods forgiven him? What happened to Dele
and the message of the gods? Follow this
tale to know what happened…thanks for your
time…Bye for now)

>> Part 3 -

Shina got out of his beautiful silver colored
convertible Hyundai Envy. He was parked
outside a small bungalow in the exquisite
Northern Foreshore Estate. Leaning against
the driver’s door, he pressed the horn twice.
He was waiting for Eva. He checked his wrist
watch impatiently. It was three minutes past
noon.
Eva opened the glass window of her sitting
room and called out to Shina,
“Just a minute please.” She said waving at
him.
She blew a kiss at him as she closed the
window. Shina shrugged.
Eight minutes later, Eva came out of her house
carrying just a sling bag across her chest. Her
beautifully conditioned hair tumbled in waves
at her shoulders as she walked towards him.
She wore a pink silk semi-transparent blouse
which had white polka dots. A short black
mini skirt and white flat ballerina shoes
completed her outfit. Her black lacy half bra
was slightly visible under her blouse, her huge
br3asts struggling against the tight fabric.
Shina felt his heart skip a few beats. He really
was crazy about this girl. He fought the urge
to walk up to her and sweep her off her feet.
He was afraid. Afraid of how she would react.
Afraid of what she might say. Afraid of losing
her forever. Like they say, half a loaf is better
than none at all. He was content with just
being in her life in the current capacity that he
was, rather than lose her forever because of
his feelings.
“What took you so long? We are far behind
time. See the time na.” Shina said as Eva
opened the passenger door and got in.
“Ahn Ahn na. Shebi it was just five minutes
now. You know I have to look good. You never
can tell if it’s another job I have to do, you
know.” She said putting her arms around
Shina as he started the ignition.
He glanced at her and she winked. He had
butterflies in his tummy. He could not help
feeling all mushy mushy around Eva.
“It was not five minutes my dear. It was
eight.” Shina countered and eased the car
slowly into the road.
“Ehn five minutes oh, eight minutes oh, it is
still the same. Could you please close the
roof? I’m a bit cold.” Eva said.
“Why won’t you feel cold? When you are
dressed so provocatively” Shina said pressing
a button.
The roof unfolded from the back of the car and
stretched itself over their heads.
“Happy?” Shina asked nudging Eva gently.
“Yes daddy.”
“Seat belt please.” He said to Eva.
She obliged, strapping herself on the leather
chair.
They drove in silence for a while till they got
to an intersection on the road. The traffic light
turned yellow, and then red as Shina slowly
brought the car to a stop. The road before
them spread out into two different paths.
“Destination please?” Shina asked.
“Hotel Paradise.” Eva replied.
Shina knew the place. It would take them
about three hours to get there. He shifted the
car into gear and turned left as the traffic
light went green.
“As your Royal Highness commands” Shina
said with a gentle bow.
They sped away on the freeway.
*******************************************
Sean drove into a petrol station at Ore.
“How much sir?” The attendant asked.
“Six thousand five hundred.” Sean replied,
turning his window down halfway.
The attendant finished selling the required
amount of fuel and hanged the nozzle back in
its cradle. Sean handed the attendant seven
thousand naira, telling him to keep the 500
change as tip. He made to drive off, then
suddenly remembered something.
“Excuse me. Yes you.” Sean called at the man
who just sold him fuel
“Yes sir?” The attendant answered eager to
help.
“How do I get to Hotel Paradise? I seem to
have lost my way” Sean asked.
“Oga mi, you never lost your way o. You never
lost your way at all at all. In fact na the
correct way na him you face so. If to say you
don go chook your head for road like say you
wan enter Akure, na that time your way go
lost o. He go lost finish. You no go even fit
find the way again. To come outside ehn, e go
hard you like person wey wan swallow big
stone o. And when person lost way for this
kain area, e dey hard to see road come out o.
E go just dey do like canoe wey no see road
comot for water. Oga mi, I remember the day
when I lost my way, I just dey…” The attendant
rambled on.
Sean did not have time for his spectacle. He
had a job to get to.
“Excuse me, I am really in a hurry. Do you
know how I can get there or not?” Sean asked
impatiently.
“Oga mi no vex I just wan explain as the thing
be for you. Na inside Ore GRA the hotel dey.
Just dey go straight. You go see one big
signboard wey them say slow down. Make
sure say you slow down o. Because I
remember my sister husband. Na speed kill
am for that same place. He see say them say
make e slow down e no gree. Na so him motor
enter gallop. The car tumble tumble tumble
tumble so tey…” He was saying, demonstrating
the tumbling motion with his hands.
”Can you just tell me how the heck I can get
to the place?” Sean said infuriated.
“Oga mi, you sabi vex o. Na wetin I do now
wey you don dey vex for me? Anyway, Na the
next turning after the signboard be the street
of the hotel. U no fit miss am at all. When you
enter the turning, na the last building for the
road. The hotel big well well.” The attendant
stated.
Sean mumbled an inaudible appreciatrion,
wound uo his window and sped off the petrol
station.
“Oga no speed for there o!” The attendant
called after Sean.
Sean did not hear him.
Sean was directed to the parking lot as he
drove into the huge five-star hotel. He found a
free space in the already filled parking lot and
parked his ash colored Infinity Audacity jeep.
He checked his gold Hublock wristwatch. It
was exactly 11:56am. He was required to be
at the hotel by noon. He was four minutes
early. He decided to wait in his car till noon
to see if Shina would be on time. At exactly
noon Sean received another message:
“Target is en route. ETA is 3 hours. Stay
Alert.”
The message deleted itself as usual after Sean
finished reading it.
There was nothing to do for three hours. He
decided to explore the hotel; possibly he may
extinguish the target in the premises.
He went to the reception. A man wearing
horn-rimmed glasses looked up at him.
“Good afternoon sir. How may I help you?” He
said with a welcoming smile on his face.
“Yes please. Is there any reservation for
Alexander Bashorun? It should have been
made by now.” Sean said with an air of
arrogance.
“Just a moment please.” The receptionist
said.
He checked the computer in front of him,
searching for a reservation in the name that
was provided. He found none. He checked
again just to be sure.
“I am sorry sir, no reservation has been made
in that name. I wish there was a way I could
help.” The receptionist said.
“It is okay. I will talk to my agency. Thank
you.” Sean said and left.
He had wanted to play a smart one. The
instruction was to go into the hotel after he
had smoked Shina. He wanted to know what
was in the west wing of the hotel. He left the
reception and went to the Cinema section of
the hotel.
At two-thirty, Sean was in his car watching for
Shina. At exactly 2:53pm, Shina drove past
him to a parking space six cars away from
him. He watched as Shina walked with Eva
into the reception of the hotel. Sean quickly
got out from his car and walked towards the
convertible. He was turning his car keys in his
forefinger as he approached Shina’s car. When
he got to Shina’s car, he spun his car keys so
fast such that they fell beside the
convertible’s rear left tyre.
As he bent to pick the keys, he planted a tiny
tracking device under the car. He got up and
quickly retraced his steps. He got into his car
and waited patiently.
Shina came out the hotel twenty minutes
later. Alone. He got into his car and drove out
of the hotel. Sean started the car and the
tracker came on. A tiny red dot blinked on a
navigation screen on his dashboard.
He traced Shina carefully for hours. Shina
stopped by a petrol station to buy fuel. Sean
zoomed past and parked 100meters ahead of
the petrol station. He waited till Shina zoomed
past then got into his car and followed the
tracking beacon in his car.
Shina was overwhelmed by what he felt for
Eva. He needed to clear his head and only a
drink could do that. After driving for two
hours, he parked his car at a bar at Ogudu
and went in. He watched the champions
league final between his favorite team
InterMilan and Arsenal. It helped him take his
mind of Eva.
Three hours later, He was on his fourth bottle
on beer when Sean walked in with two pretty
girls in tow.
“Rambo my man!!! What are you doing here?”
Sean said, hugging Shina.
“It’s a dull Saturday. I just wanted to have a
few drinks.” Shina said waving at the bottles
on his table.
“Well, I am here and no more dulling!!!” Sean
said.
He introduced the two girls and had one keep
Shina company.
They talked, chatted and had a lot of fun.
Sean continually slipped poison pills in
Shina’s drinks while the girl danced with him,
making sure he was engaged and arous3d.
At 9pm, Shina got into his car and headed
home. He had not moved for more than
twenty minutes when he began to vomit, He
parked his car and began to throw up, spilling
a lot of blood through his mouth from his
intestines. He opened the door to get fresh
air. He fell on the floor and into the gutter.
Blood came out from his eyes, ears and
nostrils.
Three minutes later, his heart stopped. Shina
was dead.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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*******continue part******

The relationship between maxwell and amara change after that incident, amare no longer have time for maxwell, she was always busy and most of the time come back late from work,maxwell knew about the changes but he couldn't do anything about it,five days has passed since they last saw each other, maxwell knew he was losing amara,he needed to act fast,it was last in the night when amara heard knock on her door,she walked to the sitting room,

Amare :who is that

Maxwell : open the door it me

Amara recognised the voice it was maxwell, she was surprise,what will he be doing at her house at this time of the night,she opened the door.

Amara :what are you doing here at this time of the night

Maxwell entered and close the door

Maxwell :is it a crime to visit my fiancée, be it morning or night

Amara :please maxwell don't start i only asked asked a question but it since like you are not ready to answer

Amara wasn't happy to see maxwell and wasn't ready for his trouble either, she left him and went her room and lied on her bed,maxwell entered her room few minutes later

Amara :don't tell me you will be spending a night here

Maxwellhe sat down)where is your mum

Amara :she is not around, she went for an all night at her church, you haven't answer me,and why will you be asking about my mum,if you came to see her you could have come earlier.

Maxwell :and your dad

Amara :he travelled,so

Maxwell :were you expecting me to drive home this night

Amara :why are you answering me with a question,God

She signed and turned to sleep,not up to ten minutes maxwell lay close to her and began to caressing her body,she remove maxwell hand and sat up

Amara :what is wrong with you,look am really not in the mood for your troubles, because it sees like you want to start your problems this night,so please if you don't let me be you can use another room.

Maxwell upset)you have been avoiding me

Amara :i have been busy that's all

Maxwell :have you been seeing him

Amara :who

Maxwell :chidi

Amara :look i have been busy at work you go and confirme it yourself.

Maxwell thought for a while

Maxwell :i want you

Amara :i thought we have talked about this,i really need to rest in have a busy day tomorrow, i think you should go to the other room to sleep(maxwell didn't even make any move)i think i should leave here for you

She got up to leave but maxwell forcefully push her back on the bed and he go up.

Amara :what was that for

Maxwell began to unbutton his long sleeve,he drop his wristwatch and necklace on amara dressing mirror, amare was looking at him confused, then make started to open his bait

Amara :you are not getting naked in presence of me are you

Maxwell :i wasn't joking when I said i wanted you,and i really don't want to do it the hard way.

He sounded so serious and this got amara scared

Amara :maxwell, behave yourself, if this is some kind of a joke just stop it

Maxwell :stop saying that,do I look like a joker to you,what is your problem,is there anything wrong for me having sex with you,ah

Amara : (scared )stop maxwell please, what have come over you

Maxwell :you have, and listen i will have you today and right now

Just then amara tryed to run but maxwell hold her back and push her back on the bed,he was now on top of her trying to take off her nightgown she was putting on,Amara screamed and begged him to spot but she was pleasing on deaf ears for maxwell was determined to do what he want,amare took her laptop that was at the side of her bed and hit it so hard on maxwell head.

Maxwell :ah he, shit my head

Amara push him away from her body ,she took her phone and quickly ran out of the house,maxwell immediately ran about her,she opened the gate and ran out,maxwell cease her bit amara was a fast runner,maxwell gave up when he knew he couldn't get her,he turned back and went to the house, Amara stoped running when she discovered that maxwell was no longer after her,she was breathing heavily, she looked around so scared, everywhere was so dark and scary not even the sound of a car is heard,she took her phone and called Sandra, about the fourth time, emma picked the call

Amara panicking )hello

Emma sleepily )yeah Amara

Amara :please emma where is Sandra

Emma :she is sleeping, you sound worried anything the problem you can tell me

Amara :i need your help

Emma :yeah what is it

Amara :can you guys come and pick me up

Emma surprised )where are you

Amara :you know that secondary school that is very close to my house

Emma :yes

Amara :that's where I am pleased come and help me

Emma :why don't you just go home

Amara :something bad happened in my house, i am scared please go pick me up

Emma :i and Sandra are out of town,we are in benin as am talking to you now,we left this afternoon

Amara key my God, what am I going to do now

She started crying,emma notice she was crying

Emma : calm down,just stay where you are i will send someone to you right now okey

Amara key thank you ,i will be waiting, please be fast

Emma key

She ended the call,fifteen minutes passed and no response from emma she was already freaking out,she then heard the sound of a car approaching but she couldn't tell from what direction, just then she saw the car light and the car was driving to her direction the car stoped the light of the car couldn't let her see who it was,she thought it was maxwell because it was coming from her house direction,she was about to run when a voice called her she turned and saw chidi,amare was so surprised to see chidi,chidi quickly came down from his car ran to where amara was and embrace her.

Chidi :you got me so worried

Emma :how did you know i was here

Chidi :emma called me saying you needed help,i drove down here as fast as I could, i couldn't have forgive myself if something bad has happened to you(chidi notice amara was colded,he pull off his jacket and wore it on amara )it will keep you warm

Amara :thanks, i am really tried i need to rest

Chidi :do you want me to go home you

Amara :no no,take me anywhere but not my house

Chidi didn't bother to ask why because he felt amara wasn't in the mood to talk,he took her to the car open the door for her and she entered chidi did the same and they drove off,chidi tried to fine an hostel for Amara but all the hostels in that area were all full because it was weekend.

Amara :what are we going to do now

Chidi:if you don't want to go home now we could just sleep in the car and in the morning i drop you at home

Amara :i really don't want to go home now

Chidikey do you trust me that much to follow me to my house

Amara :as long as you won't hurt me

Chidi laughed

Chidi :i can't do that and you knows that,so is that a yes

Amara :i think so

Chidi started the car again and headed to his house, they arrived at his house and chidi took amara to one of the guest room,she gave amara one of his sister nightgown to wear and wish her good night,morning came chidi woke up and quickly got ready for work he didn't bother to go check on amara because he thought she could till be sleeping,but he ordered the cook to prepare something nice for Amara incase she wakes up,he and emma later talked and he was greatful that emma called him now he is able to do something nice for amara,it was in the afternoon in his office when his father called him

Chidi :hello dad

Mr Jonathan :how are you

Chidi:am fine dad and you

Mr Jonathan :we thank God

Chidi :what about mum,Judith and the new baby

Mr Jonathan :they are all fine,so how is business

Chidi :business is making progress

Mr Jonathan :that's good to hear,we will be coming back this weekend

Chidih,that will be great am already feeling lonely in that house

Mr Jonathan :don't worry and your mother has a surprise for you

Chidi :you know i like surprises

Mr Jonathan :you are in the office now

Chidi:yes,i will be having a meeting like (looked at his wristwatch) now

Mr Jonathan key let me leave you then

Chidi:i will call you back as soon as I am done with the meeting

Mr Jonathan :you take care

Chidi :you too

Mr Jonathan huge up,while chidi got prepared for his meeting

LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS AND
READ NEXT EPISODE

>>

Gambhir- Hey Virat,

Tammanah Accepted My

Friend Request.

What About Yours??

Virat- Bc, Chhote Bhai Ka

Ghar Tod Raha Hai..:/

Mai Teri Complaint Sir

Ravindra Jadeja Se

Karunga.

In between Rajat Bhatia

Came:-

Abe Bc Tum Dono Aise Hi

Ladte Rehna , Tamannah

Already Sir Ravindra

Jadeja Ke Sath Date Pe

Gayi Hai..:p ????Related

There shall be no compulsion in religion: the right way is now distinct from the wrong way. Anyone who denounces the devil and believes in GOD has grasped the strongest bond; one that never breaks. GOD is Hearer, Omniscient.

~ the Holy QuranRelated

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when they open a padded Bra!#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-11 14:43:37

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Tujh Se Bicharr Ke Hum Bhi Muqaddar Ke Ho Gaye;

Phir Jo Bhi Dar Mila Hai Ussi Dar Ke Ho Gaye!Related

An Igbo engineer can`t find a job so he opens a clinic
rn
and puts a sign outside `GET TREATMENT FOR 20k - IF
rn
NOT CURED GET BACK 100k
rn
A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn
rn
100k and goes to the clinic...
rn
Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste"
rn
Igbo man: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and
rn
put 3 drops in patient`s mouth"
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Lawyer: "Ugh..this is kerosene"
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Igbo man: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored.
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Give me 20k"
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The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to
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recover his money...
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Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember
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anything"
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Igbo man: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and
rn
put 3 drops in his mouth"
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Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to
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Igbo man: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give
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me 20k"
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The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a
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Igbo man: "Well, I don`t have any medicine for that, so
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Lawyer (staring at the cash): "But this is 20k, not
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100k"
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Igbo man: "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me
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You can`t beat an Igbo man...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-23 00:49:26

555 Views




Santa: Son, what do you wanna be when you grow up?

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Dad: What?

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