Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


A  pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students.

Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, “Akpos, why has your school work been so poor lately?”

“I’m in love,” Akpos replied.

Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, “With whom?”

“With YOU!” he said.

“But Akpos,” she said gently, “don’t you see how silly that is? It’s true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don’t want a child.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Akpos said reassuringly, “I’ll use a condom!”


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-03 21:37:35

549 Views




“Even on your sick bed, you are being unkind to me.”

He scoffed. “I am not sick. I am doing just fine. I want to be alone.” he emphasized on the last word.

She let his hand drop to the bed. “I don’t trust you, I’m not leaving you alone. I am sure you are expecting your so-called virgin. I won’t give you that chance.” She stood her ground.

Jeremy sighed and faced the other side of the bed. How was he going to dismiss her? His vitality and strength was all gone. Thanks to whatever happened to him. Now he was confined to a bed in the hospital with a woman he’d made the mistake of ever dating.

“You want to be with her, don’t you?” Tricia broke into his thoughts.

She was talking about Purity. She could know something. She had even threatened to do a terrible thing just to have him for herself. He could vividly remember that. Could she have a hand in Purity’s not coming to visit him? Did she threaten her or do something terrible to her? Now that this idea had struck him, he noticed that he hadn’t set his eyes on his cell phone. Gosh! He could have called her. He sighed sadly. His gaze met Tricia’s, there was concern, worry and sadness in her eyes. Were those feelings genuine? “Tricia, I’m sorry I treat you this way. I am not happy,” he confessed, “I’m here, unable to do anything. I really need to see Purity, she could help me heal. Do you know where she could be?”

“You are asking the impossible,” she replied mockingly, “Your virgin and I aren’t friends. How could I know why she has not come visiting?”

He instantly looked sorry. “I’m sorry. I thought you cared about me.”

Gradually, he was going to fall for her, again. “Baby, please don’t say that. I really do care about you.” She pushed herself closer to him. Taking his right hand, she placed it on her chest, “Can you feel my heartbeat? It really beats for you.”

“If you really care about me, tell me where she is.”

Tricia rolled her eyes. “Honestly, I have no idea where she is. I have not even caught a glimpse of her after your engagement night.” She smiled to herself, recalling the events of that night.

“You must be very happy. She has disappeared. You think you’ve got me now?”

She smiled triumphantly, “I don’t need her to disappear into thin air to have you. You were always mine and would continue to be mine. She must have figured that out and let us be. We are now alone, we’re meant to be.”

Jeremy managed a smile. “She has my heart. I love her very much. More than any woman I’ve dated or even slept with. She’s my choice.”

Pain. Anger Jealousy. Tricia got off the bed, dropping his hand. “And does she know you love her?”

“Of course she does.”

She couldn’t take it anymore. The jealousy had seeped into her. He hatred towards Purity intensified. How could Jeremy do this to her? Even when she was nowhere to be found, she was still hurting her. Her anger almost drove her crazy. She had to get a hold of herself. “Jeremy, you don’t have a heart. For the years we dated, for once, you never mentioned that word ‘love’ to me. When did you meet this girl? You’re really a bastard.”

“Tricia never cared about love,” he retorted calmly. “All you cared about was sleeping with me and having a companion. I regret falling for you and being your victim.”

“I can’t believe this. That’s not true. You knew my feelings, you knew I loved you.”

Jeremy tried sitting up and succeeded in doing so. He felt slight pains, though. “I thought I knew, I was wrong.”

Jealousy and bitterness engulfed her like wildfire. “Well, I hope she dies wherever she is. I hope she is never found and rots in hell!” She was panting heavily. She knew those words would hurt Jeremy just as it hurts when a bee stings someone.

“You bitch-”

“Hold it!” Allan reprimanded Jeremy. He boldly moved towards the two parties, fiercely getting ready to draw the battle line. He smiled on seeing their angry faces. Watching people fight, yell at eachother was what he loved doing and all that amused him. Yet, he wasn’t going to allow it this time. The victim was his patient and a very close friend, he wouldn’t let his hobby make him lose this one friend in a fight. “Jeremy, you are not ready for all this fuss,” he looked at Tricia, “How did you get in here?”

She rolled her eyes and hissed.

Dr. Allan soon his head pitiably, “Please leave, you are already causing my patient enough trouble and discomfort. Use the door,” he was firm.

“I’ll be back.” She walked out of the room.

“Jeremy, I’m disappointed in you. What sort of argument is that? You’re supposed to be resting and trying to get your memory back.”

Jeremy nodded sadly. “She just got me worked up.”

“Its okay,” Allan replied with a grin.

“I can remember everything. I swear, I can.”

Tricia angrily stomped out of the ward. She was pacing here and there. Unpleasant feelings ran through her blood. Damn this Purity! Why did she have to come? If she had not showed her sorry face into their lives, Jeremy would have been hers. Jeremy had never called her names before, but he did – all because of a so-called fiancee.
“No, no,” she said to herself, “I must take her place. I must take her place in Jeremy’s heart. I am to be his wife. I hope she never comes back,” she concluded, dialling a number on her cell.

“Do you have any idea where Purity is?” Tricia asked as soon as her cell beeped.

“I don’t,” Ernest replied over the phone.

“Not with me. I know you have her,” Tricia replied, getting upset.

“So? Why did you ask if I already did?”

She smiled evily. “Want to confirm that. Well, thanks for smashing whatever you smashed on his head; it did me a lot of good. He lost part of his memory. Don’t hurt him, next time.”

“Its good to hear that. You want to see her?” Ernest asked, less concerned.

“I don’t want to. I won’t be able to stop myself from tearing her into pieces if I ever set my eyes on her,” she maliciously replied.

“Its my love we’re talking about here,” he replied, upset.

“Whatever, just get out with her to a very far away place. Be with her, I want to be with Jeremy.” She disconnected the call.

She heaved a sigh of relief. That call made her come alive again. It felt really good to know that Purity was with Ernest and was never coming back. No matter how Jeremy searched, he’d never find her. She was long gone, gone forever. She’d play the role of Purity and make him have eyes only for her. She chuckled wickedly.
“Please, excuse me,” she said to a nurse passing, “Where is the bathroom? I really want to freshmen up. I spent the night here, my fiance’s admitted.”
*
*
*
“I can remember everything. I swear I can,” Jeremy opened up to Allan, his trusted friend and doctor. He had to tell someone. He couldn’t hide the excitement he felt in getting his memory back. Just one thing hurt him – her disappearance.

“Are you being serious?” Allan questioned. “You haven’t gotten enough rest, neither have you completed your medication and your memory just pops out like that? Or you didn’t lose it all?”

Jeremy laughed on hearing his last statement. “She has been on my mind. I’ve been asking after her since I became conscious.”

Allan grabbed a seat and pulled it closer to Jeremy’s bed. He was keen on hearing what happened to Purity – Jeremy’s wife-to-be. He dropped his weight on the chair, comfortably. “That should be the reason why. How are you feeling now?” He was trying to ask the necessary things a doctor should. He never wanted Jeremy to find out that he was really interested in his story.

Jeremy sighed. “I still hurt, but better than yesterday.”

“That’s good. I’ll send the n-”

“Please, listen to what I have to say as a friend, ” Jeremy caught him off, “You can do your job as a doctor later.” Jeremy pleaded.

Allan’s eye danced with excitement. This was what he’d been waiting for. He smiled, “Let’s hear it.”

“We had an argument. I think she has been abducted.”

“Ab-” the word got stuck in his throat, “Abducted? How do you mean? I don’t understand you.”

“Shh…. Keep your voice down,” Jeremy cautioned. “It was at her father’s country house. Something was up, we fought over it till she mentioned that my mother’s last wish was that we get married. I was stunned hearing that and left her to herself. As I was outside,” he paused and took a very deep breath. This was the painful side of the incident, “I heard her scream loudly. I ran inside, but I couldn’t find her there. I could her hear cry softly, but she was nowhere to be found. I searched, then tried dialling 911, then I felt something break in pieces on my head, I fell to the ground and drifted to being unconscious. I woke up here.”

Allan took a deep breath. He didn’t think for a second that Jeremy’s story would be a sad one. He was hoping to hear something romantic, what would make Jeremy happy and heal faster. Sadness crept into him. He got up and held Jeremy by the shoulder, “I’m sorry man. Its an unpleasant story, indeed. Are sure this is all that happened?”

Jeremy nodded, already getting comfort from his friend. “That’s it. Was my cell brought here with me here?”

Allan shook his head. “It wasn’t. Just you. Blood oozing out of your head and you know…”


>>




Akpors the 5yr old boy went to his mother one day and asked, “mummy, do all angels fly?”

His mum wondering where the question was coming from replied, “yes my dear, why do you ask?

Akpors: Well, yesterday while you were at the saloon, daddy called the new house girl an angel. Will she fly too?

His mummy replied, “yes dear, she will fly 2 their village where she came from tomorrow and she will never come back again.
One word for Akpors and his mum today?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-07 21:17:14

674 Views




 HOW 2 CROSS ROAD IN NAIJA. Look right nd left for cars and bikes, look up for aeroplane, down for bomb, back for kidnappers, look side, hold your bag tight and watch the person beside you. Then walk zig zag to avoid stray bullet.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-19 17:30:45

337 Views




Danny discovers his wife is cheating with another guy, so he goes to the guy’s wife and tells her about it.


“I know what we will do,” she says. “Let’s take revenge on them.”


So they go to a motel and take revenge.


After 10 mins, she says, “Let’s take more revenge,” and they take revenge again.


So like this, they kept taking more & more revenge…


After 5 times, Danny was lying spent, and she said, “Lets take revenge again.”
Danny said,”I cant… I have no more hard feelings left !!!!”Related

Muriel: yes;am Luke's mom
Joan: ma;do you want to see your son?
Muriel: not at all;i learnt that you are my son's friend
Joan: ma;we are just friends nothing more
Muriel: i will like to give you a proposal that is if you want your relationship with my son to improve for just friends to couple
Joan: ma;i don't get you
Muriel: do you love my son so as to want to be his wife?
Joan: ma;i don't understand
Muriel: just answer yes or no
Joan: although its embarrassing but its a yes
Muriel: that is what i want to hear;i have plans of wooing three girls for my son but in the end the best girl becomes his wife
Joan: ma;we are living in a computer world where every individual does what he or she likes. so you can't just impose someone on him
Muriel: i am not;that is why all three girls are his friends;one his ex-girlfriend and other someone whom he was sort of matchmaking
Joan: this is crazy
Muriel: is not crazy;is just helping my son to do what he can't do on his own
Joan: then how do i come in?
Muriel: fine;since you are his friend this makes you one of the potential contestant
Joan: i can't believe i am go to contest for man. i am not
Muriel: you are not interested
Joan: yes;i am not
Muriel: is that your final answer?
Joan: yes
Alex: are you sure of that?
Joan: yes
Alex: you might be lucky to be the chosen one
Joan: i am not interested
Muriel: alright
Alex: ma;lets just go
Muriel: alright;but should in case you change your mind,this is my card(she hand it over her) you call me. the door is always open
Joan: don't bothered ma;cause i wouldn't call
Muriel: just keep it because i know how we woman behave. bye(Alex/Muriel walked away)
Joan: what does she think she is doing?
Luke: hey young woman;what is wrong
Joan: nothing
Luke: alright
Joan: are you going out?
Luke: yep (he smiled) how do i look?
Joan: you look handsome;do you have a date
Luke: kind of(he turned to leave)
Joan: with your girlfriend?
Luke: what?(he smiled)i don't have a girlfriend,i am a free man but not a flirt(both laughed)i go ahead
Joan: take care
Luke: later(exit Luke)
Joan: one crazy boy


Loveth: i wish i didn't walked out on this silly girls i would had call them to come stay with me and for all days for me to fell sick it as to be when no one is around(Jude calling)hello
Jude: hey baby;how are you?
Loveth: i am not fine;i just can't move my legs and my entire body is cold
Jude: why?
Loveth: i don't know but i am sick and i am so weak;can you please come
Jude: alright;i will be there in ten minutes
Loveth: thanks;love you
Jude: bye(she texted Luke that she can't make it)
Loveth: is more than thirty minutes;why is he not here?(she called him but he didn't pick)what is wrong with this boy(she fell asleep)
Luke: that is mean i know she doesn't want to go out with me but she should had just told me so(he sat down in his car)
Jude: (calling Loveth back)hello
Loveth: hi;where are you?
Jude: i am sorry baby;i have a business meeting to attend to at CLUE city
Loveth: but i just told you i am sick and you are telling me you have a business meeting to attend
Jude: i am sorry;its important and i am already on my way
Loveth: so if i didn't called you would had told me?
Jude: i am sorry please;don't worry i will sent my driver to pick you up Loveth: is okay;don't bothered,i can manage
Jude: are you sure?
Loveth: of cause;driver safely
Jude: see you when i come back(he end the call)
Loveth: oh God;please help me(back to Luke)
Luke: who does she think she is?i am going back to my office,she should go to hell. i will just call and tell her my mind,if she think i am hurt then she is mistaken(he called her and she pick up)hello;why don't you tell right from the onset that you were not ready to go out on a date with me instead of fooling me
Loveth: is not..
Luke: please;i am not in for that,i hate coward and that is what you are
Loveth: am sorry(she talked very faintly)sorry about....
Luke: are you alright?
Loveth: i am not too okay
Luke: what?then go to the hospital
Loveth: i can't move my legs and i have cold
Luke: is there no body there?
Loveth: no;i am all alone
Luke: alright;relax and i will come meet you up
Loveth: you don't even know my house
Luke: just tell me your address
Loveth: don't worry i will be just fine
Luke: come on;don't be stubborn
Loveth: fine;if you want to come 4 Angel's lane
Luke: thank you (she end the call)
Loveth: God please help me(she try stand up but she just can't)what is all this?(few later Luke arrive but he keep knocking and no answer)
Luke: where could she had gone to?(he called her but she didn't pick)why is she not picking?(he pull the door and walked in)anyone at home?Loveth;Loveth(still not answer he continued move until he find her on the floor in her room)oh my God(he rise her up)Loveth(she open her eyes)
Loveth: hey;how did you get in?
Luke: the door wasn't lock;so i pushed it
Loveth: alright
Luke: you are burning?let me take you to the bath room
Loveth: what?
Luke: don't be ridiculous;i wouldn't do anything bad to you;just show me the bathroom
Loveth: its over there(he took her in)don't worry you can leave me here,i can manage on my own
Luke: are you sure?
Loveth: of cause(she struggle to bath)oh my God(she screamed and fall down and he rushed into the bathroom and find her on the floor)
Luke: what a stubborn human being?(he took her back to the room and fix drip on her)i am sure she will be hungry when she wakes up(he goes into her kitchen and prepared something for her)thank goodness i called(he slept off close to her bed)
Loveth: (she wakes up)he is just sleeping peacefully;he is kind and handsome(she touch him)
Luke: hey;how are you?
Loveth: i am okay now
Luke: let me get you something to eat
Loveth: there is nothing in the house
Luke: don't worry i cooked fried rice
Loveth: what?(he exit and returned with it)thanks superman
Luke: sorry i invaded your kitchen
Loveth: is okay(she eats)are you the one that prepared it
Luke: of cause;is it okay?
Loveth: is more than okay;is nice;you such a good cook(she finished eat)thank you superman
Luke: you welcome
Loveth: i am really sorry superman i made you cooked for me instead of the other way round
Luke: is okay;you didn't asked,i just did it because i want to
Loveth: thanks superman(he smiled)why?
Luke: you kept calling me superman
Loveth: you don't like it?
Luke: not that;my name is not superman
Loveth: sorry about that?so how do you locate me
Luke: i asked question and i was able to locate it(he saw a picture) this should be your dad?
Loveth: yes and that is my mom
Luke: whoa!i see where you got your beauty from
Loveth: so you think
Luke: is not what i think;is the fact?
Loveth: alright
Luke: what about your sibling?
Loveth: i don't have;i am an only child
Luke: whoa!your parent must really love you
Loveth: yes;but my dad loves me more and he doesn't want to see me cry
Luke: your mom?
Loveth: she does love me but she is too strict but she and my dad used to be my best friend until got into the university where i met Darling and Vivian they became part of my life
Luke: hmm
Loveth: yes
Luke: no special friend
Loveth: no;no boy ever like me;maybe because i wasn't attractive
Luke: really
Loveth: yes
Luke: what about the boy i saw you with?
Loveth: my mom and his mom are matchmaking us
Luke: what in this twentieth century?
Loveth: it may sound awkward but i am okay with it
Luke: alright;how are doing now?
Loveth: i am fine;thanks for helping me and to think that i don't want you to come
Luke: thank God i came but please next time if in such a bad shape call someone
Loveth: i did called my fiance but he have a meeting(she try to stand up)
Luke: do you want anything?
Loveth: don't worry;i can manage
Luke: that was what you said the first time and have to come get you in there when you passed out(immediately he said so she started screaming) why are you yelling?will you keep it low?
Loveth: what did you do to me?(he laughed)
Luke: i snap you(she continued screaming)stop it;i did nothing to you;i am a medical doctor;i don't become stupid when carrying out my duty;so for your information i did nothing to you and i didn't even notice because all that is in my mind is to safe life
Loveth: alright fine(she stood to leave)
Luke: can i come
Loveth: no way(he laughed and she walked away)
Luke: crazy girl

Muriel: like i told you girls before you will be contesting for my son's love(enter Joan)oh my God;so you change your mind?
Joan: good day ma
Muriel: come on sit down
Joan: thank you ma
Muriel: you welcome;what made you change your mind?
Joan: you know the saying,'when you love someone you do anything to make them love you and for them as well'(Monica sighed)
Muriel: that is good;anyway meet Monica and Yemi;they are also in the contest
Joan: nice meeting you girls
Muriel: and she is Joan
Monica: you welcome
Joan: thanks
Muriel: this are the rules of the game: you will be living here with me;you don't quarrel or fight in my house and you don't seduce my son and please no gossip. i just want you girls to be friends
Joan: how do we get close to him when he doesn't live here?
Muriel: don't worry i will convinced him to live here
Joan: alright
Muriel: any other question?
Yemi: no ma
Muriel: i will tell my maid to show you all your rooms and should in case you still want to go home and pack your stuff you can
Yemi: thank you ma(she walked away)i cant believe i will be living here?
Monica: believe it now
Joan: i go inside
Monica: alright;me too(curtain)

Loveth: i am back(she saw he read the things she wrote on her numerous handkerchief)what are you doing?(he dragged them from his hand)why are you going through my stuff
Luke: this is crazy;don't you have books that you can write on
Loveth: i prefer this and please don't go through my stuff again
Luke: sorry;i didn't mean to;you favorite movies are bestseller and you favorite novel is Hamlet and Romeo and Juliet
Loveth: yes
Luke: whoa!have you see this movie LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
Loveth: yes;the girl was too shy to admit he love the boy
Luke: and the boy was also too proud to tell the girl he love her
Loveth: no one says anything to each other they were just acting like they were cool with just been friends until the girl was about to get married to someone else
Luke: the most painful part is before she accept the other proposal she asked him if he want to tell her anything
Loveth: but he said no,until the wedding night where he excuse her and say to her
Both: though foolish but crazy;i love you;i have always love you from the first day i set my eyes on you(both laughed)
Luke: this is crazy
Loveth: it seems you have watch that movie like a thousand and one times that is why you can memorize it
Luke: see who is talking(laughing continue)it really hurt to wait for the right time to do sometime because there is no right time
Loveth: of cause;thanks superman for your help once again
Luke: you welcome;i got to go;its getting too late
Loveth: you don't have to go;just sleep at the next room. since is already pasted ten
Luke: i can still see
Loveth: i know but don't just go
Luke: what?
Loveth: just assume i am your patient and you need to check on me from time to time
Luke: alright
Loveth: thanks
Luke: you welcome;if you need anything let me know
Loveth: don't worry;i will get it myself.
Luke: can i borrow your laptop?
Loveth: sure you can;its over there(she point at it)
Luke: thanks

Alex: hello ma(on the phone)
Muriel: how are you?
Alex: i am fine ma
Muriel: alright;please help me reach your friend and tell him to come home
Alex: alright ma
Muriel: take care(she end the call)
Alex: Ma Muriel;is really serious with this plan;i just hopes it work

Loveth: good morning
Luke: good morning;i didn't know is this late,why didn't you wake me?
Loveth: you were sleeping peacefully
Luke: alright;how is your health
Loveth: i am fine;thanks superman
Luke: i got to go
Loveth: would you at least take breakfast?
Luke: i don't drink tea
Loveth: but you do take toast bread and juice(he smiled and sat down)do you like it
Luke: is my best part;i can missed everything but not this
Loveth: really
Luke: yes(he received text from Alex and from work)i got to go;thanks for all this
Loveth: bye(curtain)

Luke: mom;
Yemi: welcome
Luke: what are you doing here?
Monica: good day
Luke: what is all this?
Muriel: son relax
Luke: i should relax
Muriel: of cause,please follow me son
Luke: alright mom



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Rajnikanth can draw a straight line with a compass.Related

A pregnant woman swallowing a load isn’t like feeding potential siblings to the foetus.Related

April 4th,,2007.
10:20 pm.

“Gbim! Gbim!! Gbim!!! Gbim!!!!”

“Tracy please open up quickly”

Obaz shouted in a very shaky voice as he
banged very hard on the steel door of his
girlfriend’s room.

It was as if something was chasing him. She
quickly jumped up from the bed and headed
towards the door quickly as her large breasts
were hitting against each other as if they
were both fighting to welcome obaz first. She
was only on a grey transparent panties with
her well shaped bóoty saying “Hi” from
behind.

Tracy had known obaz from their secondary
school days in University Demonstration
Secondary School (UDSS). They were just
friends then because obaz was too shy to let
her know of his intentions. It was clear that
he loved her and they both knew what they
felt for each other.

Obaz had many female admirers because of
his very handsome look. He had this shy way
of smiling that could melt any girl’s heart
quickly. He dated grace for a while and then
things went sour. In the university,,he decided
to take the bull by the horn and asked Tracy
out once and for all;this was after some
encouragement and persuasion from his elder
brother osas. And they had been together for
3years and counting.

“Jesus Jeff!!! What ?”

Tracy screamed in fear as she opened the
door while obaz rushed in.

She was the only one who still called him jeff.
His full name was Jeffery obazele but when
he was initiated into the confraternity he
nicknamed himself “obaz” because it sounded
more fearful. That was how many of them did
in the cult.

His white long sleeve was soaked in blood
and he was limping badly.

“They’ve killed osas!”

“They shot him”

“They’ve taken my brother away from me”

Obaz replied amidst tears as he fell weakly on
the rug beside the bed.

Around 8:00pm obaz and his brother were
returning from the campus to their hostel in
BDPA estate,,opposite the school. They were
both laughing loud and gisting as they walked
along 19th street. It was just a left turn to get
to their lodge when they noticed a car coming
fast behind them. It was a black honda.

The two brothers didn’t pay attention as they
were both engrossed in their discussion. The
car drove fast and overtook them then it
quickly made a fast reverse and blocked their
way.

There was silence for a few seconds…

Osas sensed danger immediately and he
commanded his brother to run as he made an
attempt to pull out his gun from his small
bag. Obaz was confused and he stood there
refusing to move. Two men came out of the
car and began to shoot at both of them
sporadically. The first bullet hit Osas on his
right shoulder and his blood splashed on
obaz’s shirt. Obaz dived to hide behind a
shop.

“Jeff!!! Please run!” shouted osas.

As he ran into the bush nearby.

The two shooters followed quickly while they
passed the shop obaz hid. It was clearly Osas
they came for and so they had nothing to do
with his brother.

He shot at the attackers but he missed as his
right shoulder was already weak due to the
bullet wound. He was writhing in pains.
The sound of the shot gave him away. The
attackers followed the direction of the
gunshot and kept shooting randomly in that
direction.

They met obaz lying on the grass. He was
badly hit. Two bullets had got to him on the
right chest and another on his stomach. They
had come to finish him off.

“Make I quickly waste this guy” said one of
them as he points his gun at him. It was jack.

The other one called “Fabdedon” or “Fab” for
short quickly stopped him.

“Remember capo say make we bring am alive
if possible,,the guy still dey alive so make we
leave am for capo.”

“Mehn fab forget that thing any fuçk up wey
capo get na my fuçk up too”

Osas was still writhing in pain and agony. He
knew it was the end of the road. He just
hoped his brother was safe.

“Make una no kill my brother abeg”

He managed to speak.

“No need to worry osas,,it is you we came for”

A voice from behind spoke out. He walked
through the bush with a flash light in his left
hand and his shot gun in his right hand. It
was zick. His best friend.

“Today is the day you pay for your
transgression. Forgiveness is a sin”

Zick spoke as he came closer to where they
were.

“Isaac…y-y-you be-tr-trayed me as a friend”

“So-so y-you planned d-d-this?”

“I thought we-we settled?”

Osas managed to speak out again. He was
dying slowly.

“No time for long talks man. You fuçked up.
And I told you I would get you.”

“Say ‘hi’ to the Devil for me when you get to
hell”

POW! POW!!

Two shots were fired directly to the forehead
and osas gave up the ghost.

They quickly walked back to their car and
drove off leaving the whole street with a very
grave silence.

Obaz quickly jumped out behind the store and
ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He
could not go to his room that night for fear of
them coming back to haunt him. He had to
go to tracy’s house. He ran in fear and tears
were dropping from his eyes.

In the process,,he twisted his ankle badly but
he kept running.

To Be Continued…

Drop Your comment

>> Part 3 -

Continues..
Menow relieved). Okay what about him?
Preston: nothing he is a politician in Europe contesting to be the senate president.
Meof course its my father I said within me) now we are clear about our identities. What about relationships? I only had two boyfriends. Michael and lex. I broke up with michael because he was a cheat and he accused me of being a boring partner. Same with lex. Is that true?
Preston:nope, its not true and I am very proud of you.
Me: well thanks
Preston:mine is just Belinda. She even forced me to date her
Me:now I see. She worked hard to get you that’s why she does not want to loose you.
Preston:I guess.
Me:so tell me. All the confras I have heard about have terminals that makes them leaves school for Like a month how about you
Preston:yeah right but I chose to leave when I am in 400 level.
Mekay. So you will graduate before me?
Preston:not at all. Engineers in this university have an extra year to prove themselves worthy of exploiting the country.
Me:great. Then Brenden will before you?
Preston:according to results he had a carryover so he will write again. We all are graduating the same tear and day.
Mekay then we are clear.
By now I was having the eagerness to s-x. The pain seemed to fade away. We just sat there speechless. Until I thought of a topic
Me:so tell me do you really take this relationship serious because you didn’t express any sign of love
Prestonlaughing) why do you girls like practicals unlike us we just go straight to the point. Well since I bumped into you at the library entrance,I can’t seem to forget your beauty that was why I still remembered you at the birthday party. I really love you. And I can’t stand or bear the sight to see you hurt or cry.
Me:what about the sight of seeing me with Brenden(I asked laughing)
Preston: don’t even mention. I hate it even more so please always avoid him.(I was still laughing)
We discussed more about our likes and dislikes and we saw that we had a lot in common. We also said a lot about our backgrounds. Then he said something
Preston:you look like a foteign. Your beauty in fact should not be compared to another Nigerian. And your accent is like that of a foreigner. You speak pidgin in a twisted way. I am not suspecting anything just that I want to tell you your qualities(holding my hands and putting his fingers in the spaces between mine).
Me:wow thanks. And you also. You look like my dad based on your light complexion.(he looked at me)
Preston: your father?(with a disappointed expression in his face)
Melaughing) yes my father(I was laughing we were staring at each other already).
I responded to his glance and in a second we started kissing. The kissing made him press his body on me. I fell on the bed to feel comfortable. I opened my legs to entertain his strength. He kissed me so passionately. I pulled his shirt and he pulled mine. He pulled my skirt and I was only on my pants. He also pulled his boxers. He was so hard.
To be continued


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Marital Advice: Marry someone you want to annoy for the rest of your life!Related

okada man apkos [Read it]


2 naija road police cougth apkos riding hx okada moto bike without a helmet. POLICE: man whr x ur helmet? APKOS; pls i forgot to wear it. POLICE: two serious slaps as ur punishment! APKOS: no problem oga! he recieved the slaps humbly and turned to take his moto bike, APKOS: mumu police! fools! he started the engine to go away but unluckly for him, his old engine failed to work and now de police are near. now imagine what happened next!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-13 01:35:22

689 Views





There was a robbery at Akpos` neighbour`s house and he called 199

Next thing he heard was:

Welcome to Nigeria Police Emergency Center, for English press 1, for Igbo press 2, for Yoruba press 3, for Hausa press 4,

Akpos pressed 1, and another voice came u..

For car accident press 1,for armed robbery press 2, for Boko Haram please hang up.

He pressed 2, and another voice came up.

If they`re with knives press 1, pistols press 2, AK47 press 3, machine guns press 4, bombs press 5, all of the above press 6

Akpos checked and saw that the armed robbers were with all of them, so he pressed 6 then a voice came up saying.

Hmmmm! My friend, if your brother is a policeman, will you let him go?




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-24 09:01:21

600 Views






Akpos, a soldier, was was deployed to South Sudan. While he was there he received a “Dear Akpos” letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him.

To add injury to the insult, she said she wanted back the picture of herself that she had given him.

Akpos thought and thought for a while. Then he went around to his colleagues and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find.

In all, he got more than 25 pictures of various women (some with clothes and some without).

He then mailed them to his now former girlfriend with the following note:

“I don’t remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back.”




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-07 19:19:34

292 Views




He was asleep when i woke up the following morning. I went to the bathroom, turned on the shower and wept my heart out. Yes i really wept. Not because i didn’t love him, not because i did it to please him, not because i didn’t want to do it, but because i felt it wasn’t the right time to do it. I also wanted him to be the first man in my life, to be frank, i thought Alex could get his way, and i didn’t want it to be too late. Well, i got over it and things were normal again, but we didn’t do it again. Not yet. And i did everything possible to avoid Alex, even though he does everything possible to communicate with me. Fortunately, he behaves himself when the engineer is around. ” i won’t stop fighting for us” he once sent me a text. The engineer nearly saw it. That was what i thought because he had my phone by then but he didn’t read it and i like that about him. He wouldn’t engage in your privacy unless you give him the go ahead. I wonder how many guys can do that?
Another thing, Hanson and i became closer and closer. As good friends and the engineer was okay with it. He only warned me about him. “alright my lov, don’t worry. I belong to no other than you” i said with a smile whiles i lay on his lap. “not really that but just be careful” he said in a casual way. ” you are so serious” i teased. There were so many times that i saw Linda getting closer and closer to the engineer. I didn’t like it but i needed to trust him. Dear readers, aside all these, i never stopped studying. I couldn’t live a day without studying? I needed my first class and that was it. The engineer and i were having an internal studies one evening when i broke a news to him. ” i will be going to England on Monday” it was a Saturday. “you didn’t tell me earlier?” he said and pinched my cheeks. “haha stop that! Im sorry, it was a sudden visit to my dad. He wants me to be there urgently” i explained myself. “take very good care of yourself for me” he said with a lovely look on his face. ” i will my love” i replied.
It was kissing through out the night. That was the night before my departure. Asif he wanted to eat my tongue. He nearly made love again but i told him, we will when i get back and he understood. Less i forget, i bought him a car as his birthday present, so he has his and i have mine. Eventually i left to London. The engineer and i kept on communicating. Alex was not out of the picture, he called me several times but i avoided him. My dad and i discussed about business issues and family issues which eventually drove into my relationship with the engineer. “dad, he will be a better person, i can i assure u.s. He is very intelligent and he is going to make it” i encountered him when he claimed the engineer was a pauper. ” i am capable of killing him if he doesn’t get away from you, take my words seriously” he threatened. What do i do now? My father is serious. I was left with two days to come back when i heard a knock on my door. That’s where i lived. I didn’t stay with my father since he was dealing with presidents and ministers and other prominent people. I got the door open and behold, Alex appeared. I couldn’t believe it, i didn’t even utter a word when he embraced me with a kiss. We were kissing again, his time it was so serious. He began to squeez my b----t and caressing me. He took of my top shirt and i was left with a bra. We were kissing intensively when i got back to my senses. I pushed him away and told him to leave. Alex i cant do this, i won’t. I felt so guilty again. “mina…” he said my name and drew closer. I knew if i don’t leave something will definitely happen. I run into the room and locked myself. How did he get to know where i was staying? Who told him?
I didn’t stay a minute in London the next day. I rushed down to Ghana immediately. I didn’t inform the engineer i was coming. I got to my apartment and the room was quiet, the tv was on as well, i got to the door leading to my room, i flagged it open. My GOD! I don’t know what you would have done if you were in my shoes. I don’t even know how to put it. Linda was naked, riding the engineer on my bed! My bed! I got stranded with my bag watching as they looked at me in shock!
What do you think will happen, please tell me what to do, what would you have done

>>

ATM WALAHA [Read it]


Today at the bank, a Fulani man goes to the ATM and withdraws all his money. Then goes inside the same bank and deposits the same money he withdrew telling the bank officer that, my money is not safe outside in the ATM...people are just withdrawing anyhow and they can end up withdrawing my money. Keep my money inside the bank, please.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-06 09:43:43

528 Views




Banta: What is an adult joke?

Santa: Any joke which is 18 years old.Related

CON..... [Read it]


if u went to chemist to buy condom after reaching there it was your turn to buy something u said u are looking for con...as u turn u saw your mum and dad beside u what would u say you are looking after saying the con... to avoid trouble from your parent
mine is confee your's? ?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-30 20:32:11

921 Views




Facebook is a brilliant way to miscommunicate how you feel… and misinterpret what other people mean!Related

Full Bed Bath [Read it]


The nursing student, on her first rotation in the ICU, had to give a patient a full bed bath. She had never given one before and was terribly nervous about it.To make matters worse, the patient was a gentleman in his late sixties who had been admitted after a heart attack. As se nervously set her equipment up, she confessed to the patient that she had never given a full bed bath before.“I’ll tell you what,” he said, “how about if you wash as far down as possible, and as far up as possible, and then I’ll wash possible?”Related

It works. Those that had terminal illnesses like cancer have lived more years than their doctors gave them and their cancers are gone. Nirvana does that. His soul heals and gives life. Oh, i'm rushing ahead of myself in this story". He paused to take a breath and continued.
.
"Okay, to the part where you come into the picture. First, you must know i have made a fortune from this life. In billions. In the normal, everyday life, i am only an Obstetrics surgeon that earns a descent living. It had always been a source of worry to me how i would ever live as a billionaire without the world coming down on me on how i got it. Then you came along. God bless you, brother. I have always wondered why Dad's will had never been revealed to us since the four years that he died. Have you? The lawyer told us that it was Dad's express wish that until both of us become of age which he expressly stated as 30years, that the will will be revealed to us. Then, i was dead curious to know what the will was and what was in it for me. I simply paid the lawyer's secretary some amount that was way too much to refuse and she got a copy of it for me. I was naturally mad when i saw it and i began to really hate you. Why did you have to get the best of life? He willed his stock options in an oil exploration company he was a 'sleeping' partner in to you. He had held the stock for thirteen years. Imagine, he really loved you. When i got the information it was just over a billion naira. The company recently acquired another exploration company and its stock value tripled. Do the mathematics". He paused to allow me 'do the mathematics'.
.
"I got the house he built in Lagos. It's valued at sixty million naira. Imagine that. Lesotho got the one in our hometown. Mom got the one she lives in, in Ibadan. I still fared better than then, right? It was when i was discussing how unfair Dad was with Mary-Anne four years ago that she came up with a bright idea. It was spot-on. I love you dear". He said in Mary-Anne's direction. She had returned to her post behind the swivel chair.
"It was simple. Steal your life, Chad. As my relationship with her and my life was kept a secret from anyone that knows me, it was easy for her to ship into your life. She made certain she got to know you on the day we had Dad's first year remembrance. As luck would have it, you were single. To make everything smooth and totally cement her deep-cover status, i found me a new girlfriend, Omobolanle. Over the past three years, you Chad, showed her everything about your life. You told her about your past, your fears, your present, your challenges, your aspirations, as all good lovers do. I gave her all the information she needed about you. She put the knowledge to good use and wormed her way into your heart. You trusted and loved her with your life. Just the way i wanted it. The things i didn't know about your life, you told her. Now, i have a more complete knowledge of what it would take to live as you successfully. It was the day you told her about the prank i played on you when you were in the university in Ibadan, and you confided in her about how much you would love to pay me back at the best moment that i began planning everything that happened to you on Friday, your birthday and Saturday, mine. I added a hypnotizing substance to your champagne cup before giving it to you. I made you drive my car and made sure my ward-coat and stethoscope dangled in full view always. I made Mary-Anne make you announce your intention of getting married that night. Afterwards, i made you watch Omobolanle and i dance like crazy lovebirds. While you sat with Mary-Anne at that booth looking at us dance, she was suggesting to your hypnotized mind and telling you what you should do. It was too easy. Easier than i thought. You did what we wired you to do, and the rest is history, as they say. Except the part where i needed the staff to see you and i together because only i could perform the special caesarean section and there was no other way i could do it without the risk of loosing my anonymity. See, i got to kill twin birds with one Mary-Anne". He seemed to ponder on what he wanted to say next for what seemed like a minute, during which time i was shaking my head in complete awe at the couple's treachery.
.
#TO BE CONTINUED...#


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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chemistry class [Read it]




Akpos Asks teacher: Excuse ma, if you mix Omo and klin , will there be foam?
Teacher respond: Yes of course, why ask such a stupid question at the
beginning of the year, are you going to pass this class at all?
Akpos laughs and whispers to the other kids, such a dumb teacher, how
can u get foam without adding water, are we going to know anytin at all
wit dis teacher?!





NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-02 20:35:49

362 Views




I am imagination. I can see what the eyes cannot see. I can hear what the ears cannot hear. I can feel what the heart cannot feel.

~ Peter Nivio ZarlengaRelated

Akpos why didn't you study?
TEACHER: Why didn't you study?
AKPOS: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year; hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days.Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days; you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days...You're left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday. That's why I did not study
TEACHER: keep quiet!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-23 22:59:49

387 Views




I Wanted to buy book in a bookshop, then I saw some
books with these following Titles:...
(1) How to look Beautiful/Handsome by:
Obasanjo.
I was confused!
(2). Food that will make you grow tall
by: Osita Iheme (pawpaw).
I was so confused!!
(3). My Love for Nigeria by: Abubakar Shekau.
I was quite surprised!
(4). Tips on how to get Married by: Genevieve Nnaji.
I was shocked!
(5).The Joy of Poverty
by: Aliko Dangote.
I was over shocked!!
(6).Guidelines on how to pass your English Language
by: Patience Jonathan.
I just fainted!!!!

Abeg if it were you, which of them would you buy #B-goF


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-05 20:56:18

385 Views




Hello!! What’s wrong with your mobile? Tried so many times but every time I call it says:

The subscriber y’re trying to reach is in your heart!Related

Monalisa: where is my daughter?
Nancy: will you come down?
Alfred: is okay;she is fine;she is just in shock. is a good thing that Desmond was there when it happen
Vina: where is he?
Alfred: the police invited him for interrogation;he will soon be here. oh here he comes
Desmond: good day ma
Vina: you are Desmond?
Desmond: is funny;this is the first time of my seeing you
Vina: thank you very much for all that you have been doing for my sister
Desmond: is nothing;she is my friend
Nancy: we will go ahead
Alfred: ward 101
Monalisa: thank you
Alfred: Desmond;dont you think you should go home?
Desmond: no;i don't want to. when she passed out;i saw something on her neck
Alfred: what is that?(he show him the necklace)
Desmond: i Gave it to her;it had my picture. i never did expect her to still be with it;up till now
Alfred: it show that she still have feelings for you
Desmond: maybe yes;maybe no. excuse me
Anita: my baby(she touch her head)

Stephanie: my friend;my sister;i really missed you;those times we play together and those time;you gave me a listening ear kept me going. you are truly different and a true friend indeed
Anita: nothing will ever change the love i have for you just as nothing ever change the love he had for you and never gave up on it. when everyone and everything is against him. you two deserve to be happy after everything you gone through. he want to make it up to you. if nothing for anything give him a little peace of mind
Stephanie: Anita;i cant
Anita: is up to you;if you want to be happy. deep in you;you still feel something for him but you just do not want to let your feelings show all because of pride and you kept hurting him
Stephanie: hurting him?i am the victim here but everyone seems to be acting like he is the victim. you don't know anything
Anita: what did he do?
Stephanie: fine;i will tell you;since you don't know. what kind of a boy will break up with a girl few hours after telling her;how he feels for her?
Anita: he did that because of your mother
Stephanie: no;he did that because he doesn't love me;he is selfish
Anita: if he is;he wont had waited for all those years and if he was;he wouldn't had tell you the truth about him and his friends intention
Stephanie: lets stop arguing about Desmond thisesmond that. lets talk about something else
Desmond: how are you?
Stephanie: i am fine;can i go home?

Vina: is that how you talk to someone that save your life?
Anita: exactly
Stephanie: i didn't asked him to
Vina: even at that

Desmond: baby;i know....
Stephanie: will you stop calling me baby? is this how you call your patient baby?i wonder the kind of doctor you are?a promiscuous doctor
Vina: Stephanie;are you mad?
Stephanie: i am not(enter Felix) baby;why are you coming just now?
Felix: i am sorry;i was stock up in traffic
Stephanie: is okay;i understand;young man;still beside me
Desmond: excuse me

Stephanie: mr doctor;can i go home now?
Desmond: i don't know
Stephanie: what do you mean;you don't know?anyways;there is no need wondering why?is obvious you are such an incompetent doctor. i wonder who gave you certificate
Desmond: what?
Anita: are you okay?
Vina: what is your problem?
Stephanie: why are you all acting like i said the wrong thing. isn't it obvious that he is not suppose to be licence as a medical doctor
Desmond: keep quiet before you make me loss it
Stephanie: are you okay before now?why would i make you loss it;when you are already mad(he slap her)you slap me
Desmond: i am sorry

Felix: what kind of a doctor are you?
Alfred: what is going on here?
Stephanie: take your worthless friend to a psychiatric
Desmond: i am worthless? Stephie;i am worthless(he walk away;she felt sad but she want to pay him back for hurting her)
Alfred: is that how you are now?a spoil brat
Stephanie: i am sorry
Alfred: don't tell me that;you have been discharge. you can leave;go home

Stephanie: you see how he is making me look bad?
Vina: no one is making you look bad;you are acting really different
Anita: and annoying
Vina: you are talking too much. you are not the first person that travel out of this country
Stephanie: you are taking his side?Felix;lets go
Anita: suit yourself;i am out of here
Stephanie: you are leaving also
Vina: why wont she,when you are shallow minded?
Stephanie: i really don't care
Felix: calm down;shall we?
Vina: of cause

Beauty: hey DESMOND;i have something for you,i and Blessing made it;go ahead show him
Blessing: surprise;chocolate(no respond) brother(he wipe his tears)are you crying?
Desmond: no i am not
Beauty: don't tell us lies;it is over you
Desmond: i said nothing(he scream)
Blessing: are you okay;you know you are my best friend even though we are sibling and whenever you are that mode;you are hurt. just know this; that no matter what people do to you;know that;you are not worthless
Desmond: i am not worthless?i don't think so;everyone know that i am worthless even she that say i am not also say that i am. there is no big deed about it
Blessing: who said so?
Beauty: Stephanie
Desmond: i don't know(he walk away)
Beauty: what is wrong with that girl?
Blessing: i don't know;i will go check on my brother;help me check on my baby
Beauty: alright


Nurse: excuse me ma;what are you looking for?
Stephanie: my necklace;it was with me but i just couldn't fine it






NAIRAJOKES.COM




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An alcoholic, a smoker and a gay went to a doctor.
The doctor told them that if they do again what they think are addicted to, they will die. As soon as the alcoholic went out of the hospital, he saw a bar. He thought for a while and said to himself, "If I drink one, I will die, if I don’t drink, I will die, too. So it’s better to get drunk." And he entered the bar, drank and died. At that time, the smoker saw one cigarette-end on the street. The gay walking behind him started crying, "Don’t! Don’t do it!""Why? I want to smoke so much.""If you bend... we both are dead!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-20 17:06:14

345 Views




A toasting conversation... GUY: Every time you smile I feel like
inviting you to my place. GIRL: Awww... Are you single? GUY: No, I am a Dentist.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-31 23:50:05

383 Views




BLIND BY NATURE EPISODE 7 (STORY BY DINDY)
please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission,thank you for reading this story..............


[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He started his car,fixed his seatbelt, then zoom off. As he drove, things ran through his unstable mind,he was so busy thinking of the nearest hospital around,he was also thinking of the man he carried at the back of his car,who was knocked down by him,he mind was busy going up and down that he didn't notice that he was driving really fast,he was a good driver, so that wasn't an issue . He avoided police check points,because if they see him stained in blood, they will surly stop him, and they will see Celestin at the backseat,and if that happens,he will be asked alot of questions which will take more time, putting Celestin's life in more danger. And if Celestin dies with the acknowledgement of the police,he will surly be jailed for it. His mind was a total field of thoughts and ideas.
Julian:"dad is he still breathing?",she asked in a low tone.
Julian's dad:"I think so Julian", he replied her focusing on the road.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> He refused to look back;like a man who had a great destiny to follow,because he didn't want to make the same mistake he made before, to reoccur again.
Julian:"dad don't you think you should check on him?",she asked gently.
Julian's dad:"I can't for now,I am driving,and I can't take my eyes off the road at this point",he said has he drove fast without knowing.
Julian:"ok dad",she said with her hands by her side.
Julian"dad I think you are driving too fast dad",she said holding on to the seat she sat on.
Julian's dad:" I never knew that",he said.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Although his daughter told him that he was running on a high speed,he didn't reduce the speed,he continued driving.
Julian:"dad ain't you going to slow down a little?",she asked.
Julian's dad:"I can't dear,this man's life is in danger,and the more time I waste, the more he gets closer to death",he said,focusing on the road.
Julian's dad:"And if he dies,I will goto jail",he said to Julian.
Julian:"oh shit!",she said.
Julian:"why did this have to happen right now",she said as tears ran down her eyes.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian is a very emotional girl,any little thing could make her cry.
Julian's dad:"Julian please don't cry now,please I beg of you",he said.
Julian's dad:"don't make things hard for me,please dear don't cry,he wont die and I won't go to jail,ok?",he said trying to calm his daughter down with his eyes glued to the road.
Julian:"ok dad",she said as she wiped the tears off her pretty face.
Julian:"dad let me check on him to be sure he is still alive.she said as she placed her left hand on the seat beat lock and her right hand on the belt which ran across her chest region.
Julian's dad:"no dear don't!",he shouted.
Julian:"why dad?",she asked as she made a pause.
Julian's dad:"I don't want your finger print to be on his body,and I don't want his blood to stain your hands",he said.
Julian's dad:"just incase he dies,the police won't say it was a planned murder.he said still focusing on the road.
Julian:"but dad what difference does it make if I check him now and he is dead,or when we take him to the hospital and he dies before we get inside the hospital,or if I check him now and he is alive and we get there and he survives",she said.
Julian:"dad it's better for us to know his condition now before he gets to the hospital,so that we could know what to do next",she said to her dad.
Julian's dad:"ok dear I agree with you",he said to her.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian removed the seatbelt gently and place them at its position with the help of both hands,although the road was smooth without bumps, she slowly turned back because her dad was driving fast. She gently moved her right hand to the back seat while her left hand was placed at the head of the seat,Celestin's right hand was the first things Julian's right hand touched,then she moved her hand upwards his face,then she felt his beards and the blood on his face,she felt pity and sorry for him. She moved her right hand down to his chest to check whether his heart was still beating. Her right hand reached his heart region,Celestin heart gave out a slow beat:like a music box.
Julian:" Dad he is still alive",she said.
Julian's dad:"thank God,we are almost there".he said with both eyes fixed on the road.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian's hands were still on Celestin's heart region,she wanted to remove her hand but the feeling she felt held her back,she has never had such feeling before,it was deep and strong,she loved what she felt,she enjoyed the way his heart raced. She moved her hand upwards to feel his face, her right hand touched his beards first then she felt his lips then his nose,she was touching his face gently because she really wanted to know how he looks like, although there was blood on his face she never minded.
Julian's dad:"Julian what are you doing?",he asked with his eyes on the road.
Julian:" Dad I am just making sure he is still breathing",she lied to avoid her dad from asking her more questions.
Julian's dad:"ok dear,please sit down,we are almost at the hospital".he said taking a left turn leading to the hospital.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> She turned and sat back on her sit,her right hand was folded as she sat, because she didn't want her dad to notice the blood on her hand, after she sat,she used her left hand to hold the seatbelt, she forcefully pulled it down into its lock, then locked it. As she sat,she felt his heart beat on her palm.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian's dad was almost at the hospital but the path he took had traffic.
Julian's dad:"oh shit!,there is traffic here",he said.
Julian:"dad is there no other road for us to be able to skip the traffic?",she asked.
Julian's dad:"oh yes!,I remember,there is another path at the other side",he said as he looked back to reverse.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> luckily for him there was no car at his back,so it was easy for him to reverse. After he reversed he quickly turned Right, then he entered into a street,the road wasn't so smooth,but he had to manage the bad road no matter how bad it is.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Within minutes they got to the hospital escaping the traffic.
Julian's dad:"Julian stay here,I will be back",he said as he quickly unlocked his seatbelt then opened his door and ran into the hospital, leaving his car engine on and his car door opened.
[WRITER SPEAKS]=> Julian was left alone in the car with Celestin, she opened up her right hand then place her left hand on it,feeling the blood of Celestin on her palm. She could still feel his heartbeat on her palm. She turned back to look at him,but all she could see was total darkness, because she was blind.......................to be continue......story by dindy.........whatsapp number:07087750433.... [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected] facebook namessy nnamdi


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Jude: yes bit i didn't mean to
Jackson: what happen next?
Jude: when she told me;i was so mad that i hit her on the head and she died on the spot
Jackson: you kill someone?
Jude: yes;i didn't mean it but it just happen
Johnson: what did you do to the dead body?
Jude: i called my friend Kenneth
Rose: my dad
Jude: yes;so that we can dispose the body and we did but he was going to keep my secret only on the ground that i will grant one wish for him but he never mention it
Jackson: and
Jude: years passes but he said nothing about it until you all became grown up and he show up with his daughter and he said he want his daughter to get marry to my son
Jackson: but how come you gave her to me
Jude: i really don't know

Rose: i pick you because i love you from the very first day because i felt you are friendly even dad doesn't want you for me;he wanted your elder brother James for me because he is the heir to your father's company. he has no choice than to accept you
Jackson: father;you use me to cover up your sin?i can't believe this
Jude: i hurt all of you deeply;i wish i could be forgiven. in plight to runaway from my problem ,i committed a great sin and in order for my secret to remain a secret;i force my son into marrying someone he doesn't love and cause the death of the one he love by my action. i wish i could turn back the hand of time but please forgive me;my son and my wife
Janet: i have forgiven you a long time ago
Jude: THANK YOU now i can rest(he took his last breath)
Johnson: what is going on?James!what is going on?
James: he is dead
Jackson: what do you mean he is dead?
James: father;is no more
Janet: son you are lying right?do something,are you not a doctor
James: there is nothing i can do
Johnson: no oh
Janet: you are kidding;my husband can not be dead(she cry)please don't leave me
Blessing: grandpa wake up;don't leave us now that we need you most

Policeman: good day all
James: how may we help you?
Policeman: i am the policeman handling the case of Desmond
Rose: any news about my son?
Policeman: we were able to recover two cell phone on the body of two individual along that same place;so we decided to bring it if you can identify it. here they are

Blessing: that is Stephanie phone
Rose: this is my son phone(she open the phone and see his picture)where are they?
Policeman: i am afraid;that their body has decay and the sight of them is not pleasing but here are their identity card
Georgina: no;it can't be(she ran outside)
Janet: my son!my son(she pass out)
James: don't worry;i will take care of her
Jackson: why is my life in a mess
Johnson: brother be a man
Rose: Blessing;Mercy your brother is no more
Policeman: please accept my condolence
Johnson: you can go;we will make arrangements to come get the kids
Policeman: alright;i go ahead
Blessing: mom please stop crying
Rose: how can i stop?i can't
James: is alright;my brother is alright. it is well
Johnson: i will call the ambulance to take daddy away
Janet: is okay
Jackson: mother;are you alright
Janet: i am fine;Rose are you okay
Rose: i am okay mother(tears roll her eyes)
Kenneth: i came in as soon as i heard the news
Rose: the news about the death of my son;the one you never like or the news about the man you are blackmailing is dead?

Sarah: what is your problem?
Rose: mother;this man i called my dad hurt me so much and he hurt the man he called his best friend. what kind of a dad will give his daughter to a man that feel nothing for her?what kind of a man will hate his own grandson and even his best friend and now they are dead;he show up and say, 'i came in as soon as i heard the news' daddy,'you are happy now right?now that they are dead;tell everyone that you are happy;that my son is dead. go on and tell them that you supported me when i hurt him. tell them(she cry)

Kenneth: am sorry;i wish i could turn back the hand of time
Rose: but you can't you ruin my life
Kenneth: i am sorry;i did everything for you. i just wanted you to be happy
Johnson: is alright sir;i and my brothers have forgiven you
James: is okay
Janet: it is well

Mercy: i haven't really being a good sister to you(talking to his picture) when mom hurt;i also hurt you but i wish you can forgive but its seems it is too late
Georgina: yes;we all hurt him;there are very few people that didn't hurt him. i wish i could take back those time i hurt him because of that evil girl
Blessing: we may not get along but that is not because don't love you but because you lack respect and you are always thinking of just yourself
Georgina: don't try to give me that bullshit. you think i don't know that you want Stephanie for your brother?

Blessing: yes;i like her for my brother not because she is more beautiful;intelligent or attractive but because when my brother is with her;he is always happy and she always make him happy
Georgina: be sincere with yourself;if your brother and that girl were alive,wont you pick her for him ?
Mercy: there is no need for that;my brother is already dead
Blessing: i am sorry;i just can't help but feel pains


Peace: things happen so fast;some seventeen years back;we are planning the burial ceremony of our parents and it was really hard to deal with
Nancy: and we said it is the last time;we will experience the last of a love one
Vina: but it happen
Monalisa: yes;it happen;it happen to my seventeen years old daughter. i wish I was dead and not her
Nancy: don't talk that way
Monalisa: tell me?what else should i say?that my life is worth more than hers;tell me?what kind of a mother will not be able to hit her chest and say, 'i am the best mother in the entire world' all i could do is to show how much i have neglected her

Nancy: if you say you have not been a good mother;what about us?
Peace: i wish could treat her with more love and replace the place of hatred i have for her to love
Vina: but it is all too late because she left us for good. she will always say,'i am happy that i have such a four sister,you all are the best thing in my life'
Peace: she was mistaking;we were the worse thing that ever happen to her
Monalisa: just stop;lets go and put her to rest after the pain

Faith: Beauty stop it
Beauty: i can't mother;i do want ti get this hurtful feelings off my head but i can't(she cry more)i wish i could do something
Faith: tell me;are you getting hurt because you will missed the one that always acted like your brother or you love him?

Beauty: yes mother;i love him but he just couldn't see me because he was carried away by that girl love
Faith: my daughter;you are not suppose to love him
Beauty: i know but he was so kind
Faith: come on my poor thing;it is well(she hug her)you will get over him
Beauty: i pray so



Alfred: i don't want to cry ma Brown but i just can't hold it inside (he cry) i can't
Brown: it hurt to lost a love one
Anita: yes ma;someone tell me;i am dreaming
Ayo: at last;it is over
Tosin: what do you mean it is over?
Ayo: you heard me right;thank God she is dead
Anita: you are a monster (she slap him)
Ayo: you slap me?(he pushed her and hit her)
Alfred: you are mad(they both fought)
Ann: you are fighting your friend over his girl?you are a failure
Alfred: i don't really care
Ayo: i am leaving this house
Brown: will yo come back here?
Ayo: i am sorry ma;i have to go
Alfred: let him go


Stephanie: hey;why are you sitting all alone
Desmond: i am just wondering what is happening with Alfred;Tosin;Ayo and even Tunde
Stephanie: same here;what really will Anita and the rest of the girls be doing and i am also home sick;i miss my sister and my mom
Desmond: your mom?






NAIRAJOKES.COM




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NATIVE DOCTOR [Read it]


A church member went to a native
doctor to get some charms. As he was
sneaking in so that nobody will see him,
he was very surprised to see his pastor
there. Startled, he asked the pastor,
"What are you doing here sir?!" The pastor beckoned on him, "Keep
your voice low, the bishop is inside with
the native doctor."
#?BOLLY_SMART?™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-21 07:25:07

557 Views




A pilot was transporting a
bunch
of mad men
from Lagos to a psychiatric
facility
in
Johannesburg, South Africa.
The madmen were making
noise.
So, one of them (Akpos)
entered the Pilot’s
Cabin;
MADMAN (Akpos): Teach me
how to fly a
plane!
PILOT : I would, but under
one
condition.
Akpos : What ?
PILOT : If you can get your
colleagues to keep
quiet.
(5 minutes later, the plane
was
very quiet!
PILOT : Wow!! How did you
get
them to keep
quiet ?
Akpos: I opened the door
and
asked them
to go and play outside.....!!
One word for Akpos..!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-06 15:33:01

731 Views




The engineer didn’t spend the night at my place. Hence, Hanson didn’t spend the night there either. He got upset but that isn’t my business. The following day was Saturday morning. And it was girls talk. My friends and i will meet at one place and have a girl talk. We had discussion about guys, advices, share experience, ideas and whole lot. I wasn’t that much into relationship so im always left out. I take my books with me atimes and it bores them. ” we aren’t here to study wise one.” jackline will protest against my behavior at all times. And she was defiantly right because we also meet to study. Yes, we don’t only have fun, we study alot and that makes me feel comfortable around them. Aside their relationship scandal, they also knew their reason for being in school. Well that day i was the host so the met at my place. I was lost throughout the fun, i was really lost. We were lying in the hall watching Tele, browsing, chating and a whole lot. “hei, whats wrong with you?” jackline tapped me. She is always keeping her eyes on me.
“nothing” i replied, pretending everything was alright, but it wasn’t and i knew it. The rest of them became interested in the matter. Maame Ama the eldest, amongst us watched me closely and laughed. Every body was wondering why she did that, i was wondering too. Why should she laugh? “what is wrong with me?, why are you laughing?” i asked her? She sighed and said, “you can pretend with them but not me” she said to me closely. She sounded so sure of herself. Why would she say that? Whats happening to me? I began to ask myself questions i didn’t have answers to. “who is he?” she asked again. Maame stood up from where she was browsing and came to sit by me. ” i don’t get you. ” i replied with a confused expression. ” a guy is keeping you thinking and we have to know who he is” she let out the bombshell. She knocked me out. She seriously did. How did she know i was thing of someone and precisely a guy. I became dump, i couldn’t talk, what do i tell them? They don’t like the engineer in the first place and i am suppose to hate him too, so why is this happening to me? She didn’t pressure me to talk but it seems she knows it all. Maame Ama is an expect when it comes to dealing with relationships, she has dated a whole lo people and she really knows the rules of the game. I learnt she went into it when she was twelve years old. She is financially sound and she might be te richest if not for me, well thats what people say. But the amazing thing about her is that, she is still a virgin, believe it or not, she really is a virgin. Before i said anything else, we heard a knock on the door. ” who could that be?” Linda said when she was approaching the door. “you!” we heard her shout when she got the door open. “who is there?” one of my friends asked. “come in” Linda instructed the unknown person in. It was the engineer. ” oh my GOD! Who do we have here?” they Chorus. ” how may we help you Mr lover man?” maame rudely asked. I didn’t know he would be around, i wasn’t ready for this, maame was so serious asif he had offended her. I don’t know what prevented me but i couldn’t real when he entered. I couldn’t defend him.
They were throwing questions at him. I was just leaning on the chair weeping. Weeping! That was how stupid i was, why should i even weep? I guess its because the feeling is strange. “im sorry for being here” i heard him say. He walked out of the room and my heart began to race. It was asif i was been chased by a horse. Was he leaving? Is he leaving for GOOD? Will ever see him again, i couldn’t bear it. I dashed out of the room like a hungry lion. I don’t even know here the strength came from. I heard my friends nagging with i started running after him but i ignored them. Please fight for some one you love and never let him or her go because of what others will say or think about you. Remember you didn’t decide their partners for them. “please wait!… Wait” i called after him but he didn’t turned. He felt so unworthy. But i didn’t stop, i couldn stop running. I by passed him and stood right infront of him. I was breathing very fast, i couldn’t speak initially because i didn’t have a breathing space. Tears were still running down my face. I stared into his eyes and saw the pain, i shook my head and embraced him immediately. We embraced like there was no tomorrow. We were both sobing when we hugged.
Wow, what a feeling, what a feeling

>>

An old couple at the age of 90years developed sight problem.
Both of them finds it difficult to see clearly.
They decided to visit an eye specialist.
After examining their eyes, the specialist said "Due to your age, your eyes are weak and you need to buy eye drop to help strengthen the eye."
"O really?" they said.
"You both have to drop it in your eyes twice daily for one month after which you comeback for check up." the doctor explained.
They paid and left with it. They equally did as the specialist instructed.
After one month the Husband said to his wife "I think i can see more than you."
The wife laughed and said "That's not true. mine is better"
"No need for argument, go and bring me my BLUE shirt lets go for check up" says the old man.
The old woman went inside the room and brought PURPLE shirt.
The man collected the shirt and said "Shit! Don't you know that my BLUE shirt again and you went and brought me RED shirt"
"Am sorry" she apologized.
"Is ok, let me wear it but next time don't argue that you see more than me" he stated.
After putting on the shirt he turned to his wife and asked "How do i look?"
"Woo you look great. As if i know" she admired.
As they entered the specialist office, the specialist started laughing.
"What's amazing you" the old man asked
The specialist said "No need for check up. You people just have to buy another eye drop and go"
"Why?" they asked
"Can't you see you are wearing the inside of your shirt."

Who is better? Husband or Wife


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-21 10:42:07

4130 Views




A man who is a milking farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his "manhood" into the equipment, turned the switch on and everything else was automatic. Soon, he realised that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did.
When the fun was over, though, he quickly discovered that he couldn't remove the instrument from his joystick. He read the manual, but didn't find any useful information. He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success. Finally, he decided to call the supplier's Customer Service
Hot Line. "Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?" Don't worry," replied the customer service rep, "The machine will release automatically once it has collected two gallons."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-03 16:21:58

416 Views




A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost
in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A
genie popped out and granted them each one
wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof!
She was back home. The brunette wished to be at
home with her family. Poof! She was back home
with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish
my friends were here."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-08 12:35:29

292 Views




A pastor was in a church preaching to the congregation saying, repent from your sins for God is coming soon and nobody knows when he is going to come. Pa James put up his hand and said, pastor i think your mother knows when God is going to come, how do you mean asked the pastor, pa james replied and said every night i always hear your mother saying, Oh my God please dont come yet. A


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-26 12:47:06

302 Views




Sunny Loene at shooting –

Ufff Kitni Gharmi Hai…

Aise Lag Raha Hai Kissi Bade Fan Ke Niche Jaake So Jaau !!!

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Me : Mam, Main Aapka Bahut Bada Fan Hu…!!Related

Girls don’t dress to impress boys, girls dress to ‘out-dress’ other girls.

If they were trying to impress boys, they’d run around naked!Related
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