Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


People only treat you One Way… the way you allow them!Related

The Challenge [Read it]


Akpos had testicles the size of fully grown apples, so when he heard about a competition in the USA for the man with the world`s largest testicles he decide to sell all his property so that he can buy an air ticket and go and participate in the competition. He flew to the United States and when he got there, he found the competition had ended. So he approached one of the participants who was crying, and this is how the conversation went.
AKPOS: Why are you crying sir?
MAN: I lost! I thought I was going to win.
AKPOS: (he looked at the man`s testicles) You lost and your testicles are as big as fully grown watermelons, who won then?
MAN: (pointing) That man over there.
AKPOS: You mean that guy on a hill?
MAN: That`s not a hill, those are his testicles!
Akpos Fainted!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-18 23:00:28

683 Views




Think of this brethren...
1. Eternal life = free
2. Church entrance = freegate
3. Christ's salvation = free
4. God's love = free
5. Breath of life = free

A. Cigarette = pay
B. Prostitution = pay
C. Alcohol =pay
D. Niteclub entrance fee= pay
E. Powers to rule the world = pay
Then why are we paying for hell while PARADISE is free?
Believe in Christ and you shall be saved
Happy first Sunday to you all


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-03 21:56:52

296 Views




One day, a woman asked her son to call her husband to ask him what he wanted her to cook for dinner.After the sixth time the boy complained to his mother that a female voice was what he heard everytime he called and the lady would not let him speak to his dad. By the time the man got home that evening, his wife was fuming seriously.
She was so angry that she met him at his car and grabbed his shirt right there in the front yard.
"How dare you cheat on me?" she shouted, attracting the neighbors instantly. "How could you? After all we have been through?"
The confused man stared at her - he could not fathom why she was so mad at him. The neighbors tried to calm her down but she refused, and when someone asked for evidence, she recounted the phone call episode and called on Junior to repeat everything the lady on the phone said.
"The number you are calling is not reachable at the moment. Please try again later," Junior said.
One word for Junior!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-23 12:03:26

420 Views



Our Bed !!! [Read it]


At a small parish in rural England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray.
She went to the priest and told him, “Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon.”
The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as ‘our’ not ‘your.’
Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge needed to be trimmed.
She again went to the priest and told him, “Father, I’ve noticed that your…I mean our hedge needs to be trimmed.”
The priest thanked her for again bringing something to his attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch that had gone missing. She said she hadn’t, but assured him she would look for it.
A few days later the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit. The entire parish was busy readying the church for the visit.
On the day the bishop arrived, the same nun came down the front stairs yelling, “Father! Father! I found your watch!”
The bishop said, “How wonderful my child. Where did you find it?”
After saying hello to the bishop, the nun turned to the priest and said, “I found it under OUR bed.”tempRelated

EPs 7

Tap!! tap!! tap!!

Henry jerk up from the bed, now the taping was continuously, he went down and saw the window hitting on its edge. He went to close it, again sighting the same image he saw last night sitting at the same spot. He open the door he walk towards it trying hard not to lose sight of it. He was few yards away when a dog barked at him furiously it happened so fast he look around there was no dog he look at the spot the figure was gone . he saw it again standing at a tree few yards from where he was standing . he bravely walk towards it maintaining his sight cause he notice each time he loses sight it will disappear and again re appear at a different spot . he finally reaches three yards away from it , now he is close enough when a frog hop on his leg . he maintain his sight , fling his leg roughly the frog hop away .
"who are you !!
He stammered, though He's pretending to be brave, you could see him shuddering in fear . the figure stood still. He approaches closer
" who are you , how may I help you ?
His voice echoed . he stretches out his arm trying to touch the figure's shoulder when the figure suddenly turn and grab his hand . it's face was hollow and darkish henry couldn't even see the hand that grab him but he felt it warmness and its grip, he couldn't stand the horror he scream out
**
Jerking up from bed sweating profusely painting like a dog , " honey are you okay " Jane asked patting his shoulder .
He wonders yesterday nightmare was real or could it be a dream
" notting dear just a terrible night mare "
*******
The doctor check Henry's pulse and his heart beat ,
"he needs rest it's not a big thing"
,the doctor remark . Henry gaze at mark who's sitting next to him
" man I'm confuse "
the doc parked up his equipment and exit them.
" I have a nightmare but I'm confuse , the first one feels real, the second one felt like a dream " .. ,
" you heard the doc you need rest" mark said
"why don't you even listen to me each time I try to discuss something with you , you always think am crazy. what's the point of talking to you anyway , he shrieked
before mark could say any thing henry had left the room banging the door.

Like

Old School Love [Read it]


-Those days of drawing love,
and piercing it with an arrow? -Those days you write at the
bottom of the love letter,
"Please don't say No"? -When you'll be saying words
like, "You're the sugar in my
tea, the cockroach in my
cupboard, the only flower in
my Garden"? Like seriously, I really missed
those days. What About You?
#BOLLYSneh™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-17 00:41:58

1162 Views




SHADOWS=>WRITE UP BY DINDY
do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission,thank you for reading this write up...
My lovely shadow,so dark,so soulless,so faceless but it lives. It moves around me like a clock,it grows bigger with flame,light gives shadows life, if no light no shadows
Shadows are so beautiful,they can make you look tall or short,in any size or shape you want to look,shadows are instrument of both good and bad,shadows are shape transformers.
But between me and you, that thing you call your shadow might actually be the reflection of your SOUL.
Everything has a shadow, and every shadow has its own shadow. Disaster's shadow is death,death shadow is unhappiness,tears,pain and emotional break down. Light's shadow is a reflection of what so ever it comes in contact with, and darkness shadow is fear and torment.
But wait why are all shadows dark & black?,are they evil or good?. What if your shadow turns against you some day in your dream, and when you wake up you see it right in front of you?(You will be totally afraid right?).
Well to me I guess our shadows might not only be the reflection of our soul but also a reflection of our dark demonic evil black side.
MY NAME IS NNAMDI AKA DINDY AND I WROTE THIS WRITE UP.LEARN FROM WHAT YOU READ NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND.THANKS FOR READING...........................WRITE UP BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI.........whatsapp number:07087750433.... [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected] facebook namessy nnamdi.......Skype: 07087750433 or [email protected].................Twitter:@nnamdiossy







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Isabella: cheers,cheers,cheers,to all our loving fans;who never stop watching and contributing to our show;who never gave up on us;even with all our short comings;join us as we celebrate three long years of successful running of the show;it was all possible because of your never stop supporting us;just as a family does,they never give up on us even when times are hard. that is why;i Isabella Clara;never stop loving you all;much love to all my adorable fans from me to you;today we will be talking on our general life;what is involve in our family that makes it grow and bring happiness?but today is different because we wouldn't be entertaining any comment from our fans,because i and Susan we do the talking
Susan: it is great indeed that;we are given the opportunity to air out our mind
Isabella: definitely;so what is on your mind?which will you pick money or love
Susan: whoa!i pick money;without money the family will crash because the needs of the family will not be fulfilled
Isabella: hmm;is kind of crazy but i will go for love;when their is love in the family;the family bond will be strong,with love they will be able to forgive freely because without love;money is nothing,love cannot be brought with money
Susan: is awkward but it sound nice
Isabella: just admit it
Susan: alright fine
Isabella: this were we draw the curtain for today;much love for you all
Susan: watch us next week;same time;same station;don't go anywhere
Isabella: it still remain your girls;Susan and Isabella Clara;goodbye and stay cool(curtain)
Ada: whoa;she had grown into a very beautiful girl
Obed: extremely;i kind of like her
Obedient: don't tell me;you are Zuriel
Zuriel: some people just grow up but their likes and want doesn't really change as some people says it does;to me nothing really change about me;although i am now a graduate;i still felt something is missing about me but maybe when i come back to my root,i will be able to find myself;my real self(back to horseland city)
Mercy: everyone guest who we have here?
Ada: whoa;is Zuriel
Obed: oh no;this isnt you?
Zuriel: of cause is me fresh and blood
Obedient: what happen?
Zuriel: i am done with my studies and life there is meaningless
Ada: Thank God;you came back;you are really more handsome
Zuriel: thank you;you are now a lady
Obedient: of cause;she is
Obed: did dad know you are coming back?(enter Zeal)
Zeal: what are you doing here?

Zuriel: i got tired of life there;nothing is making sense to me;each passing day;i wish i could find myself;but i just couldn't dad;please let me stay;i don't want to wake up one morning and find out that i have lost my mind;i promise i wouldn't do anything stupid
Zeal: is alright;you can stay
Zuriel: thank you dad;thank you very much
Zeal: did your mom know you are back?
Zuriel: yes;i told her
Zeal: and she didn't tell me
Zuriel: i pleaded with her not to tell you
Zeal: alright;get your stuff inside and where is Alice?
Obed: she went out
Zeal: alright(exit)
Zuriel: what is wrong with dad?
Ada: no one knows
Zuriel: why dont you all asked him?
Obedient: no one,dares asked him
Zuriel: why?
Obed: he is always grumpy
Zuriel: i pray he should change
Obed: i just hope so
Ada: so you are back for good
Zuriel: of cause;and really missed you;dont you?
Obed: of cause;she does
Ada: what about Dedo?
Zuriel: she is fine and we are really good friends now;i want to wait till i get to eighteen
Obedient: so does it mean when you clock eighteen;you will asked her out
Zuriel: don't be ridiculous;i don't have a crush on her
Ada: is it Isabella?
Zuriel: Isabella;who is she?
Obed: come off it;the girl at the show family;dont tell me;you dont remember her
Zuriel: oh that;i don't;excuse me all;i just need to relax
Ada: i don't believe he doesn't remember her
Obedient: believe it or leave it(exit Obedient/Obed)
Ada: could it be true that he doesnt really remember?if he doesn't;it will be better;he had really turn into a handsome young man;he have a great body;Ada what are you thinking?don't tell me you have a crush on him?he is still your brother;even if you two aren't related
Mercy: Ada;dining is set
Ada: alright
Alice: when did you come back?
Zuriel: not too long ago mom;i missed you
Alice: you missed me or my yelling?
Zuriel: i missed seeing your face in the morning and your yelling
Alice: naught you
Zuriel: is for real and i also missed dad's smile
Zeal: that is enough;eat up;here is your phone;you can have it
Zuriel: there is no need for that
Zeal: dont you missed your friends;dont you want to get in touch with them
Zuriel: i don't have to
Zeal: is up to you and your mom said she want to see you
Obed: what?he just arrive and he is leaving already?
Zuriel: but dad
Zeal: you are leaving a day after tomorrow and she now live in Freetown;excuse me(exit)
Ada: whoa;that is the place i long to go
Zuriel: dont be ridiculous;is not like is somewhere out of this country;don't worry maybe next time when i am going;you will come with me
Ada: really
Zurielf cause
Alice: Zuriel;if you all are done;you can to bed;goodnight all
Obed: good night mom(exit)
Zuriel: i think we should go to bed
Obed: but why?its still early
Zuriel: alright;i will go ahead because i am tired
Obed: okay(curtain)
Zuriel: (at his room)i missed my bed,life here(he drop His phone)i cant believe i am here(knock at the door)who is there?
Ada: is me
Zuriel: Ada
Ada: yes
Zuriel: come on in;it is not lock
Ada: thanks
Zuriel: do you want anything
Ada: nothing;i just want to check on you
Zuriel: is funny;some things never really change;you always check on me before going to bed but you don't have to any more
Ada: then;but if you don't like it;i can stop it;you know;is like you are all grown up
Zuriel: that is nonsense;even if i have so many friends;that are girls you are still the only sister that i have
Ada: really
Zuriel: of cause;and i will always be your big brother
Ada: what?you are older than me with just six hours
Zuriel: you called it just but i am still older than you
Ada: (she laughed)goodnight
Zuriel: good night(he pecked her)and sleep tight
Melisa: son;why did you come today
Zuriel: nothing;maybe i just missed you
Melisa: i missed you too;i was thinking of going to the market to get things;that we will want to keep you happy
Zuriel: mom;you don't have to
Melisa: i want you to just stay at home;so that i get to the market and come back on time
Zuriel: don't worry;i will come with you
Melisa: alright(curtain)
Zippor: Isabella;go with Joy to the market
Isabella: must i go with her
Zippor: yes;so that you can help her carry some of the things;please

Joy: if she doesn't want to;she can as well stay at home
Isabella: alright;i will
Zippor: good girl;that is why you are my princess
Isabella: really?
Zippor: of cause;no one is as beautiful as you
Isabella: hmm;goodbye;i love you
Zippor: love you too;take care of her Joy
Joy:if i take care of her;who will take care of me?
Isabella: you don't have to;i can take care of myself
Joy: better
Isabella: hey young woman;why are you looking at a man's shirt
Joy: i want to buy it
Isabella: don't tell me;you want to wear that?
Joy: don't be navel;i am buying it for Zippor
Isabella: brother doesn't like that kind of shirt(she picked up another)this is what he like?he like fitted clothes and sky blue color
Joy: will you stop;i don't like that
Isabella: i don't want you to waste your money;go on buy this
Joy: what is wrong with you?why are you acting like you are his girlfriend
Isabella: i am not but i am his sister;so i know what he like and doesn't;is too bad that up till now;you don't know his like and dislike and you called yourself his girlfriend
Joy: you are very stupid(she slapped her)will you get out if here
Isabella: i just want to help

Joy: well i dont need your help;go leave me alone;get out
Isabella: i will leave(she walked away)
Joy: rubbish
Zuriel: mom;this is huge;it as so many things;to fall in love with
Melisa: and so many girls also
Zuriel: mother;how can i come to the market to look for a girlfriend
Melisa: it doesn't matter
Zuriel: it does;i don't intent to get married to just anyone
Melisa: talking about girls;your dad said you where courting Dedo
Zuriel: is all a mistake;it just so happen;i was misjudged

Melisa: and the other(her phone ring)excuse me
Zuriel: go on pick up your call;i will just look around
Melisa: alright;don't go far
Isabella: i try all means to put up with her but no she wouldn't stop pushing me;who does she thing she is?i am just taking all this rubbish all because of Zippor(Zuriel hit her at the back)hey watch it
Zuriel: sorry;i am really sorry
Isabella: better
Zuriel: Bella;i cant believe;this is you(he hugged her)
Isabella: will you stop it;do i know you?

Zuriel: of cause;its me;Zuriel;the one that kept calling you from your show family
Isabella: well i don't know you;i receive call from so many people;so i can say i know you
Zuriel: hold on;dont you remember(he held her hand)Zuriel;is me

Isabella: i don't know you and let go of me(he turned he cant find His way)





see more



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Teacher: Why are you late?

Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.

Teacher: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it?

Student: No. I was standing on it.Related

When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn’t the old home you missed but your childhood.

~ Sam EwingRelated

his is a "HATE letter" from a
young boy to a girl. The girl's
father does not like him and
does not approve of the
relationship...? ... and so the boy
wrote this letter to the girl
professing his love for the girl
knowing fully well that the
girl's father will definitely read
this letter so he did it in a clever
way.
Enjoy!
Dear Stella,
1. the great love I have for you
2. is gone, and the dislike for
you
3. grows every day. When I see
you,
4. your face just irritates me;
5. the only thing I want to do is
6. strangle you. I never wanted
to
7. marry you. Our last
conversation
8. was very boring and has not
9. made me look forward to
seeing you again.
10. You think only of you and
yourself.
11. If we were married, I know
that I would find
12. life very difficult, and I
would have no
13. peace in living with you
forever. I have a heart
14. to give, but it is not
something that
15. I want to give to you. No
one is more
16. foolish and selfish than you,
and you are not
17. caring and helpful to me.
18. I sincerely want you to
understand that
19. I speak the truth. You will
do me a favour
20. if you think this is the end.
Do not try
21. to reply this. Your letters are
full of
22. things that disinterest me.
You have no
23 true feelings for me. Good-
bye! Believe me,
24. I do not care about you.
Please do not think that
25. I am still your boyfriend."
Too bad right?? However,
before handing over the letter
to the girl, the boy told the girl
"ODD NUMBERS ONLY", meaning
to read only 1,3,5,7,9,11,13
,15,17,19,21,23? ,25.
So.... Please try reading it again -
odd numbers only! So smart &
creative.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-18 23:29:40

238 Views




NAMELESS (EPISODE SIX) STORIES DA VIBA
Please do not share without taking permission from us, thanks for reading.
:
:
:
As they searched through the thick bushes, [the baby] was no where to be found. She cried as she pleaded and followed her husband closely praying he'd be found (that was the same place he was picked from when he was just few months).
"He is lost, probably to kidnappers or an animal, he is lost", Mr Godson said in grief.
Lady Miriam, couldn't contain her wicked act, She was ashamed to stand her husband. She had given in to the suggestion of her old highschool friend and now she's paying the price. This might certainly tear her family apart but she couldn't turn the clock backwards. What had been has been and she could not reverse the clock.
She cried, bitterly regretting every act which led to the child's demise.
When they returned, their home was as quiet as a grave yard. She laid her child (who had been sleeping in the car) on the bed and felt the pain of her actions the more.
Lady Miriam went in search of him every morning, She asked everyone she could find around that village but her efforts were null and void.
"I forgive you", her husband finally said after a few days.
"We should just pray he's not in the hands of rebels", said her husband.
.......BACK IN TIME.......
--The first day, they picked him up (fainted) in the bush, he was knocked down by a dog which left some marks on his bum.
As he cried, his tiny voice was just as loud as silence, but his tears truly ran flushing his cheeks as if there was an ocean of tears storming in his infant head.
They cleaned him up and tried to put him to bed after he was fed with the available not-too-pleasant dinner. They believed he was a star; such a handsome healthy-looking child who was probably around four years of age (Their care and concern was really genuine).
[Poor charity personnel] They took care of him as much as they could. The motherless babies home, was now his new home but the comfort and provision was really limited (The care was evenly distributed to lots of children and they all managed to survive).
The name of the child still remained anonymous, the charity personnel tried calling him a name but his response wasn't encouraging, his fellow territories started calling him "BOY" which he affirmed through his response.
The personnel, swayed by the single act condensed to call him "BOY".....to be continue.
This story is brought to you by Stories Da Viba and was written by;
1). Nonsegzy
2). Evybliss
3). Princeprezide
4). Dindy
5). Blexxybaby
6). Nelly
Watch out for episode 7, your comments are needed... Please like our page on facebook "Stories Da Viba".


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Bank alert [Read it]


What would you do if you got this alert
today?
----Alert:Credi t
Acct:2320xxxxxx xx764
Amt:N4,200,000, 000
Rmks:COL SAMBO DASUKI (NSA) 24 DEC 15
By: 24-Dec-2015. 15:59:26
Bal: N4,200,016,549. 56
--------------- ----------
A. Report to EFCC
B. Keep quiet
C. Run out of the country
D. Withdraw it immediately
E. Tell ur pastor
..be sincere #B-goF


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-26 20:37:58

388 Views




episode 3
Rushing into my my room, i banged the door shut and fell on the bed with a thud unclad and my d**k
harder than any rock.
“What dah f--k did i just do?”
“Why did i remove my clothes before entering the bathroom?”
“What dah heck was she even doing in there, Dad has the biggest bathroom in the whole house.”
I could still recall the look in her eyes when i barged in…
A mixture of both surprise and naughtiness…
Her eyes grew wider and an alien evil smile covered her face as i saw her eyes glued to my D--k, i
was transfixed in my position for a little more than 10 seconds not knowing what to do or say.
I barged into the bathroom to pour a cold water all over myself and regain my sanity, i already peeled
off my clothes on my voyage to the bathroom forgetting we now had someone else in our family but i
never expected her to be in there!
I was faced with a vision of Amanda totally naked and wet all over and her body shimmery and slippery
from the soap that buttered her body in silky whitish foam.
I stood there unclad, mouth agape and d**k already risen to life **We all know that guy between our
legs have a mind of it’s own**
I was there long enough to percieve all those features i have fantasized over in clear full details;
Her boobs was as firm and full as i have pictured it to be in my mind’s eyes.
That flat stomach that ran down to her belly button flowing down to her pubic region as my eyes
savored the look of the p**sy, Shaven but a little trace of hair was left on it.
Her c--t was swollen from my own perspective and labias too tempting, knocking my brain over the
bar.
That kim K hips that flows straight to the most succulent laps and those straight pair of legs that
gave her the look of a goddess and i can tell i saw something that looked like a pink dildo on the floor.
“Chisoooooos! Sorry!!!” i shouted immediately on being recalled back to earth from an obvious trip to
Jupitar.
I rushed out of the bathroom banging the door shut behind me as i ran to my room.
Could hear soft laughs from her while i picked my clothes and rushed up to my room, my hard d**k
giving me much difficulty and the embarrassment so overwhelming.
A gentle knock on my door jolted me off from my thought which was a mixture of embarrassment and
raging horniness tripled by the flashes of the e----c images of Amanda that i saw.
I sprang up, hurriedly slipped into my boxer and muttered “Come in” to whoever it was even though
anybody already could have guessed who it was.
My eyes widened as Amanda stepped into my room clad in a white towel still very revealing tho.
“Uuuuhm am sorry aunty for barging in, i didnt know you were there” I blurted out stressing the aunty,
with my face tilted towards the floor.
She gave out a mild chuckled “Its ok sky, actually i am not the only person that got exposed today,
am i?” she teased running her eyes through my bare chest to the still visible bulge on my boxer.
I smiled mischievously with a surge of confidence running through me all of a sudden.
“I hope you will come down to the kitchen to help me with the meals” She proposed running her hands
through my hair sending chills down my stomach into my pant.
“Yeah i will” i replied more bolder than before..
“Alright dear…” She smiled as she turned to leave, those huge bumz swaying through the white towel
she wore round her chest.
“d--n …” My head blew open as i fell back on the bed giving out a loud sigh and being slightly angry at
my d**k who just couldn’t respect itself, embarrassing me anyhow.
Anyway i have a cooking to do tonight…
…To be continued…

>>

Expired Poison [Read it]


If poison reaches its expiry date.... Would it be MORE poisonous or LESS poisonous?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-10 00:42:23

198 Views




She brought out the key and made
to open the cage.but she pause.to
my greatest suprise she pulled out a
small pistol from the trouser she
wore and pointed it at me.i was
shocked was an understatement.she
was looking mean.no smiling..i
thought she came to save us.why is
she pointing the gun at me.is it Jc
that sent her?. fear was writting all
over me.folake wasn’t
exceptional.with fear i asked.
MEvoice shaking) Seyi.what are you
doing?i thought you came to save us.
SEYI: you are a fool to think such
think.
FOLAKE: anty please.
ME: Seyi.please have i done anything
wrong to you?please don’t shoot
me.i beg you.
SEYI: give me one good reason why i
shouldn’t blow off your
brain.huh.do you know the pain you
coursed my sister (charity)do you
know the trouble you brought on us?
my sister has suffered alot because
of you.she nearly lost her life if not
for me.i never knew you are her
boyfriend she was talking about.i
wouldn’t her allowed her to
associate with a criminal like you.and
now she is pregnant.all thanks to
you.what have we done to you?you
decieved her.(in tears.still pointing
the gun at me).
What!!charity pregnant.how.for how
long.she never told me that she is
pregnant.ooh poor girl.
ME: seyi please pull down the gun.i
never deceived charity.we are into a
relationship.i love her with all my
heart.infat we have been together
before i met you.as for her
pregnant.she never told me about
it.i was just hearing it from you.but
i’m ready to take the responsibility.if
i make it alive.please seyi.
SEYI: do you know wat i feel for you
now?i feel like blowing off your
brain.you deserve to die for coursing
my charity the mess she is going
through.(krakra.she kocked the
gun.and drew it nearer to my face).
Immediately.i started praying and
asking God for a forgiveness.coz this
girl is damm serious to put the triger
on me.i begged her to stop the
drama.but she kept adamant.in
tears.i begged and begged.before
she finally said.
SEYI: i will spare you on one
condition.
ME.i’m ready to do anything.
SEYI. i helped your family excaped
coz i don’t want Jc to hurt them.like
wise my sister.so i want you to
return that favour to me by staying
away from charity.
ME. *silent*
SEYI.i want you to end your
relationship with her.i don’t want my
only sister to date a criminal like
you.
ME.what about the pregnancy?
SEYI. She will flush it out
immediately.if you can oblige with
my little condition.then i will unlock
the cage for you.remember Jc will
soon be here.
I was silent staring at her like a
loser.i thought for a while on what
to do.i and charity have gone a long
way.i can’t leave her.no matter
what.is better i die than to leave the
only girl that loves me
unconditional.no no no way.
ME:i don’t think that it’s going to
work.
SEYI:and how is that suppose to
mean?.
Before i could answer her.we heard
foot steps approaching us..they are
coming.(seyi said).immediately she
pulled down the gun and unlocked
the cage for us.without wasting
much time.folake and i came out.i
was very weak like wise her.but that
was not the time to show weakness..
(angrly)seyi stared at me and said.
SEYI. Is not over yet.we will finish
this later but for now.we have to run
for our life.
I stared back at her and said..thank
you..immediately.i held folake’s hand
and we made to run.but
unfortunately.JC and the other five
gang landed.runnnn!!seyi shouted to
us.we took our heel and run as fast
as our leg could carry us.i was
leading the way.folake was behinde
me.and seyi was last..b------s.boys
don’t allow any of them to
excape.non of them should
excape..that was Jc’s voice.he said to
his notorious boys.five in number.on
hearing those words.i increased my
speed.still holding folake.she was
panting very hard.but i never gave
up on her the gown she wore was
giving her tough time to run.she
removed it.remaining only her
unders.the boys them including Jc
went after us.chasing us like a
hunter that was chasing an
antelope.with there guns.
We were still runing.seyi was
behinde us..folake was breathing
with her whole strenght.her speed
reduced but i held her
tight.unfortunately she hit her leg on
a stone and fell down.which made
me and seyi to stop.
What happened?seyi asked.i looked
down at her leg and saw that she
was seriously wonded.she groan in
pain.tears was already dropping
from her eyes.
ME.folake.please lets go.we have no
time.those guys are coming after us.
SEYI. ma’am we have no time
here.they will soon meet us.and you
know what that means to us.
FOLAKE:*in tears*i can’t continue
again.my leg is seriously hurting me.i
can’t stand up nor run again.
I looked up and saw that Jc
them.were seriously getting closer to
us.
SEYI.f--k.what are we going to do
now.eeeh.
I looked at folake laying helplesly on
the ground.i went closer and lifted
her up to my shoulder.she was
damm heavy.we made to go.but i
heard a gun shot from close range.i
looked back and saw seyi laying
helplesly on the ground.in a pool of
blood.seyyyyi!i shouted.she looked
at me in pain.and
TBC.

>>

92

Out of furiousness he slapped Christiana. ” are
you blind? Cant you see!? He yelled at the
girl. Christy began to weep bitterly. Miss
cynthia arrived at the scene. “ish what have
you done?” she asked angrily and raised her
up. “my child are you alright?” she asked
christiana. Christiana couldnt stop sobing. Mrs
paula also came in. ” whats going on here?”
she asked her daughter. But christy saved the
day by not telling her mum that she was
slapped by Ish. Ish paula pressured her
daughter to find out why she was weeping
but she wouldnt say a word. She got angry
and dragged her daughter from the place.
Miss cynthia got so furious. Ish out of fright run
away from his mum. ” hei, come back here!”
she shouted after him. Two of his friends saw
what had heppened. They told juliet and the
rest about it. “priness stop crying” mrs paula
said to her daughter. ” mumy, i dont know
why he hates me soo much when ive done
nothing wrong.” christy said to her mum. “he is
just not that into you” mrs paula responded.
Ish on the other hand was been searched for,
throughout the day but he couldnt be found.
It was around 7pm in the night and most of
the kids were going to their various houses
with their parents. Miss cynthia dn the other
kids searched for him all over the place but
couldnt find him. Juliet was on his search
when she saw christiana walking off with her
mum. ” mum please wait, i will be with you
shortly.” christy said to her mum after realising
that juliet was around. ” hei, whats app” she
asked juliet. ” i am searching for ishmeal. He
cannot be found and we are all worried. I
also learnt about what happened between
you two” juliet informed her. Christy’s mum
called her to get into the car before she
could utter a word. She did likewise and left
juliet standing. ” i wont be surprise if she is sick
and tired of him” juliet said to herself and left.
Miss cynthia and the kids couldnt find ishmeal
untill they left the place. She thought her son
will return home but he didnt and it was
already 8pm.
Christiana was helpless when she got home,
she wanted to do everything possible to look
for him but her mother wouldnt allow her. Her
mum got engage with a business issue and
that gave her the chance to go out with one
of the drivers, along side a guard.” take the
route to the childrens park and please dont
drive fast” she said to the driver. The driver
hesitated but had no choice.
They were driving down the street when the
car passed by Ish. They were almost at the
park. Christy asked the driver to pull over and
told the guard to get ishmeal. Ishmeal was
seated on the edge on the road weeping. He
was so scared. He began to weep the more
when the guard lifted him. He was placed into
the car and out of fright he began to weep
the more. He turned to the other side to open
the gate, only to find christiana seated by
him. He kept mute instantly…
There is more to come

>>

It was just after lunch when the doorbell went. I'd managed to eat half a sandwich but worrying emotions tied my stomach into knots. I was sitting on the sofa watching mindless TV when my brother answered the door. I was surprised when Aiden followed into the living room behind my brother.

"You better have a good excuse for ignoring my calls," he lectured before he sat down on the sofa beside me.

My brother smiled before he turned and left us alone to talk.

"I'm sorry," I said feeling bad. I tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear.

He studied me for a moment.

"No, not good enough," he quipped. "What happened?"

I dropped my eyes to my hands while I tried to figure out how I was going to tell to him. My family had taken it better than I'd expected and I hoped Aiden did too. I didn't know how to cope with all of this without the support of my friends.

"Tell me," he said softly. I looked up to him. He watched me anxiously. His expressive eyes watching me for any indication of whether the news was going to be good or bad.

"I'm delaying the surgery," I said, coming right out with it.

He frowned.

"What do you mean you're delaying the surgery?" he said, with a crease in his forehead.

"I've made the decision to delay my surgery for a month," I said.

"But doesn't the surgeon want to do it as quickly as possible?" he asked, trying to put the pieces of the puzzles together.

I nodded.

"Then why are you delaying it?" he asked, confused.

"There is a good chance that I won't survive the surgery," I began to say. "So I want a little more time before I go through with it."

He seemed to consider it for a moment.

"What happens if you delay it?" he asked.

"It might make the surgery more difficult."

And there it was. He stood up and began to pace up and down. When he stopped he pinned me with a look.

"You have to do the surgery earlier," he said. I shook my head. "If you delay it you are increasing the odds that you won't make it through it."

I let out a sigh. I'd expected him to act the same as my family had and he was.

"No," I said. "This is all the time I might have left and I'm not giving it up."

He sat back down beside me and reached for my hand taking it into his.

"I just don't want anything to happen to you," he said softly.

"I know," I said. "But I can't do it."

"How did you're family take the news?" he asked, watching me closely.

"They weren't happy but they eventually came around."

He released my hand.

"How did Grey take it?" Was his next question.

The soft ache in my chest returned, I pressed my hand to my chest to ease it.

"He didn't take it well. He hasn't spoke to me since the appointment."

When I had moments when I wanted to call him just to hear his voice I had to remind myself that I why I needed to keep my distance.

"He loves you and he doesn't want to lose you. None of us do," he said. His words tugged at my heart and I felt my throat thicken with emotion. I felt the ting of tears but before I could stop them a single tear slid down my face.

"I didn't mean to make you cry," he said. The soft tough of his fingers brushed the tear away.

The DNR form weighed heavily on my conscious. If this was how my family and friends were reacting to the delay in the surgery I didn't want to know how they would handle finding out that I'd signed a form to make sure that if it came to it they would have to let me go.

"I'm sure he just needs a little time to come to terms with it," he said and I nodded my head. He didn't know that Grey's actions saved me from having to push him away. It had made it easier for me. Making the decision to cut him from my life was easier than putting it into action.

"Come on, I think you need to get out a little," he said standing up and pulling me to my feet.

"Where are we going?" I asked, following him out of the living room.

"Anywhere but here," he said. He opened the front door as my brother came out of the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Alex asked.

"I'm taking her out for a little bit. We won't be gone for long," he assured my brother. Alex seemed reluctant to let me go but he gave a brief nod. Not that I needed his permission.

Once we were in the car Aiden started up the car.



"Where are we going?" I asked, being glad to be out of the house for a little bit. I loved my family but they were all hovering around me, which made it harder to forget about my illness and the surgery.

"How about we go to the park?" he suggested. "It's been ages since I've been there."

"Okay," I said.

Being outside for a little bit was exactly what I needed.

Five minutes later, Aiden parked the car and we got out. It had been years since I'd been at the park. Looking at the swings I remembered when I was younger yelling for Grey to push me higher. A sad smile tugged at my lips.

Grey was so ingrained in my life and in most of my memories. There wasn't any place that didn't hold some sort of memory that included him.

"No no no," Aiden said, shaking his head. "We came here to relax and take your mind off things; whatever you're thinking about is making you sad."

I made myself smile, pushing the memory of Grey to the back of my mind.

"I'll race you to the swings," he said before he dashed off. I laughed and started to chase him.

For the next hour I didn't think about the surgery, or the difficult decisions I'd made. I spent those few precious moments laughing and doing childish things with Aiden. I was sitting on the grass laughing at Aiden's attempts to do a handstand. He kept losing his balance and falling over.

He'd just landed on his side and he was sitting up watching me with a stern look. I laughed even harder. As he stood up something behind me caught his attention. I stood up and dusted the grass from my jeans.

"It looks like he came around," Aiden said. I turned to the direction of his gaze to see Grey walking towards us.

Just the sight of him made my heart summersault, suddenly I felt so nervous. I brushed a stray hair out of my face. He was dressed in a pair of jeans with a hoodie that he kept over his head. He strode to us purposefully.

"How on earth did he know where we were?" Aiden asked in a whisper.

"He has resources," I answered.

We hadn't told anyone where we were going so the only way he would know I was here was if he had me followed. I hadn't noticed anyone but he was probably paid to keep a low profile and not to be too obvious.

Grey stopped in front of me, giving Aiden a slight nod to greet him. The tight expression and thinned lips told me that he still was still angry with me.

"I need to go," Aiden said to me, feeling the tension in the air.

"I'll make sure she gets home okay," Grey said to him.

"I'll call you later," Aiden said to me as he gave me a brief hug before he turned and left.

While Grey watched me as I watched Aiden's retreating form to his car. I was not looking forward to the talk we were going to have.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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The Present is a Point just passed.

-David RussellRelated

After chief adigun's burial, his wife, olanike and her son, akebaje took over all that he had. his houses, companies, investment, cars and all his property far and wide were taken over by olanike and her son. not even a toothpick was given to olawale, his first son. olawale tried to protest but olanike threatened to throw him out of the house while akebaje also threatened to kill him if he didn't get out of their way.
he was eventually sent out of the house through the connivance of olanike and her son, akebaje.
Even when he was leaving, nobody cared about where he was going. as he got to the front of his father's house,he looked at it sorrowfully and burst into tears as he walked slowly away into the unknown.
olawale trekked and trekked for a while until he got to a tree and settle down under it to rest. Then suddenly, he fell into a deep sleep. he saw his mother again right in front of him under the tree. olubanke said my dear son! you are now ready to face your future. look around you! build a hut for yourself! God will assist you. she said this and went away.
Olawale woke up in surprise. He was pondering happily on his dream until he saw adult footsteps walking away from him and disappearing into the bushes nearby. Olawale became terrified. He wasted no time. He gathered logs of wood with raffia palms and started making a hut for himself. Within three hours, olawale had built his own little hut had settle inside it. He was happy at being on his own. He would go out every day and find odd jobs to do in nearby town, just to live. He worked very hard as usual and very soon, everybody loved him and blessed him with what they had.
Soon, he began to buy food and clothes for himself. He also saved part of his little income, for he knew he would need it later. It was not easy for him but he had to struggle to survive. Three months later, the result of the exams were released and everybody rushed to see theirs. Olawale also went to his former school to see his.
When he got there, the first people he met was akebaje and his friends. They were seated under a tree, making fun of anyone who passed by crying with his or her result. However, as soon as they saw olawale, they hissed heavily as he passed. Olawale didn't even bother to look at his brother's face since his brother didn't recognise him again.







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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If you aren’t fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.Related

There are those who so dislike the nude that they find something indecent in the naked truth.

~ Francis H. BradleyRelated

Akpos had a bad attendance record for being particularly late for work in the morning. He was called to a disciplinary hearing where he was given a chance to explain his reasons.


His argument - "I get up in the morning...I shower...I look in the mirror...try to straighten my hair, then I miss the taxi, then I'm late."


His boss has a bright idea. He gets one of Akpos' colleague to sneak into his room & steal the Mirror off the wall without Akpos' knowledge. The following day, Akpos did not turn up for work. The same happened the day after that. Akpos was summoned to another hearing to explain his reasons for not attending work. 


His argument - "I get up in the morning...I shower...I look in the Mirror...See no Akpos...I think Akpos already left for work.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-29 22:15:36

243 Views




Two things de?ne you:

Your patience when you have nothing;

And your attitude when you have everything!Related

BROKEN SEAL
EPISODE 40
END OF SEASON ONE

She rested her sleepy head on
my chest and managed to open
her eyes.
Me: uhm…i….
Ella: Is it really pressing? Look
(pointing to the wall clock) its
2am, i’m very sleepy, we talk
tomorrow okay?
Me: yeah, go back to bed.
I don’t know if i should be
glad or not, perhaps i shouldn’t
let her know just yet.
Moreover i don’t know what
the DNA analysis would be.
I’d be losing on both ends if
Ella leave me and the test
result negative.
*************************************
Nikky sat in her room with
Nenita’s sleepy head resting on
her lap.
She kept running her hand
through Nenita’s hair.
She love her daughter so much.
No she can’t watch her grow
up without a father! The more
reason she’s willing to do
anything to get Isaiah back,
even if it involves bloodshed.
She was deep in her trance
until she heard the door open,
letting her mum in.
Carolyne was still in her
nighties.
Nikky: a pleasant morning to
you mum.
Carolyne: (she sat on a sofa)
morning dear, hope you slept
well?
Nikky: yes mother.
Carolyne: you know, i still
don’t get it.
Do you intend raising your
child a single mum? Don’t you
want a father by herside? Why
are you stopping me from
telling the Guidottis about
this?
Nikky: sssshh bring your voice
down, Nenita is still sleeping
….. I don’t want my daughter
to grow up without a dad,
neither do i want to live
without a husband.
I already have a plan, and
things seem to be working as
predicted.
Carolyne: so whats the plan?
Nikky: uhm….mother, i don’t
want you in just yet….
Carolyne: Nikky? When did you
start keeping secrets from me?
I may be of help somehow, tell
me already.
Nikky: thd plan is………
She explained everything to
her mum.
How she met Rodelio,
how their first plan failed and
their latest strategy.
Carolyne didn’t buy the idea,
however she pretended to be
in support ‘coz its for her
daughter’s happiness and the
destiny of her granchild,
Nenita.
*************************************
Sinulog started today, it was as
bublee as ever, ma’am Kate
also came for the festival, i
seized that opportunity to
introduce her to my parents,
they seemed to go along pretty
well.
The past days where
uneventful, sinulog lasted for a
week, we spent one more day
before leaving for Manila.
*************************************
After sinulog, Nikky spent two
days with her family, before
leaving with her daughter.
They stopped by at the
hospital to check on Tomas.
To their surprise, Tomas wasn’t
operated on yet.
The head of doctors made
flimsy excuses.
Nikky threatened to sue the
hospital, the pleaded with her
and promised to commence
operation the next day.
Nenita: mum, when i’m i
meeting me dad?
Nikky: Tomas you mean?
Nenita: no, my biological dad.
Nikky: uhm, he’s on a business
trip but would be back soon
okay?
Nenita: okay mum.
Love you.
Nikky: (hugged her) i love you
too honey.
*************************************
days passed pretty fast.
Our wedding preparation was
on the top gear.
Isabella took care of cake &
decorations.
I wanted something simple but
that was against it.
He invited a whole lotta
people, especially the crème de
la crème.
We had a grand eve party
today.
Tomorrow is the D-day.
I can’t wait!!!!!!!
************************************
Nikky got news of the wedding
from various media.
First it was from her mum,
telling her to get the plan
ready.
Rodelio also called to inform
her that everything was in
place.
She attended the eve party, not
because she was glad but to
see things for herself!
Rodelio had his people keeping
eye on the to be couple.
Among Ella’s entourage is his
ally, her job is simple- to
update him on latest
occurence.

>>

::::::::::***::::::::::::
I felt something squeeze my palms gently, I woke up
thinking I was asleep. I heard people talking in low
whispers, I peeked from my left eye and saw David and Bola
conversing.. David looked worried.
"You said she just slumped?"
"Yes, after recieving a call." Bola explained.
"Uhm" a man in white coat, came in, maybe a doctor.
"Thanks for coming Doctor Raymond" David shook his
hands.
The doc. Examined me for a while before looking up.
"Her heart beat is close to normal, she'd be fine, she's just
stressed out. You know, her brain needs rest." he
explained.
"Thank you Doctor." David replied glancing at my direction.
How did they get here? Maybe Bola called him. Maybe
Something happened..
"is she your sister?" I heard Doctor Raymond say.
"No, she's my wife." David replied peering at me, as though
I might jump up and attack him.
This guy ko gbadu o...wife ke! No Baby Mama noni o, I
smiled to myself.
The door squeaked and The doctor left.
"Were you able to identify the caller?" David asked Bola.
"No, but she mentioned a name that sounds like Okon or
something." Bola replied scratching her head.
Just then I remembered what happened earlier. Akpan rang
into my brain.
"Akpan has my child." I said, startling them both.
"Wow, thank God, You've woken up." David looked pleased.
"Akpan, Lina's gateman," I said to no one in particular.
David seems to understand what I want, he quickly put a
call across to the police. In less than an hour we were
driving to Lina's house that dead night.
:::::::::::*********::::::::::::::
"Seriously, I don't know what you're talking about." Lina
said sitting on a chair at the police station.
"Where's Akpan?" a policeman asked her for the fifteenth
time.
"He...he..travelled." she stammered.
"Okay, maybe a night in the cell will reveal where he is." Ade
an inspector told her.
She cringed at the mention of a cell, she muttered
something under her breathe.
"You want to say something?" Inspector Ade asked
"Errrm, I don't want to go to the cell." she pleaded.
"Good, then tell us the info we need, and we'd let you go."
his voice was coarse.
"I...know where he is, I can take you there now, but please
dont send me to prison." she looked frightened.
"Good take us there!" Inspector Ade smiled triumphantly.
I and Bola stayed behind at the station, while they left with
David.
After two hours which seemed like eternity to me, they
came back. It was almost Day break.
I rushed out to the van.
They've Arrested Akpan and two other men, but Eniola isn't
there.
"Where's she?" I tugged at David
"they said she's missing again" he looked tired.
"Inspector?" I held inspector Ade's hand, tears streaming
down my face.
"She's not there. I think this case entails more than we've
imagined. But after a thorough Interrogation, they'l open
up." he replied gently as Lina, Akpan and the other men
were led into a cell.
"No, it can't be." I whispered to myself.
"We'll find her soon." David held me gently as I wept on his
shoulders.



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Confession! [Read it]


A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
“You will understand,” he said, “the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an affair with his boss’s wife. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that, and I had, indeed come to, a fine parish full of understanding and loving people.”
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.
“I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.”Related

GEJ Campaign [Read it]


Chibuzo rushed to Akpos and said, have u heard that banks are deducting 1000 from everybody account for GEJ campaign. Akpos shouted 'thank God i have no money in my account'.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-06 07:12:20

339 Views




Akpos: Mummy!

Mummy: Yes!

Akpos: When you are not around, Daddy takes our housegirl into his room and then tells her to pull off her clothes and. . . . .

Mummy: (Cuts in) Akpos hold it there! So that is what he does when I'm not around abi, okay.

Two hours later Mummy had called all relatives together for Akpos to repeat what he had said.

Mummy: Akpos say what you told me in the presence of everybody present here now.

Akpos: Mummy I said that when you are not around, Daddy takes our housegirl to his room and tells her to pull off her clothes, and they do what you and our gateman do together on your bed when Daddy is not around.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-13 07:29:48

1466 Views



Local poem. [Read it]


If you still remember this poem, then fill in the blank space. New money e don come, i buy garri 10 kobo, i give mary to cook am, mary cook am e no don, i beat mary e no cry, kill mary e no die, which kind mary be this one, amina, anima toro, a _______ girl.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-21 13:56:26

426 Views




Coordinator: Can you tell us the
differences between Girl and A Woman?
Akpos:
»A Girl searches for a rich man
»A Woman searches for a caring and loving
man
»A Girl envies those who move ahead and
hate the players
»A Woman shares their knowledge and
help others move ahead by not hating the
players but teaching them the rules to the
game.
»A Girl measures her man's worth by the
weight of his pocket.
»A Woman measures her man's worth by
his level of Wisdom and the fear of God, and
how disciplined he can be towards his
finances.
»A Girl breaks up with silly excuses
»A Woman has endurance, knowing that
everything happens for a reason
»A Girl thinks about present
»A Woman thinks about the future of you
and herself
»A Girl loves to have many guys going after
her
»A Woman knows the law of demand
(Cheap things have high purchasers)
»A Girl takes relationship affairs
outside
»A Woman solves the problems within
herself and her partner
»A Girl demands for money to buy
make-Ups
» A Woman demand for money to
fulfill her plans
»A Girl gets hurt by one man and
makes all other men pay for it.
»A Woman knows that, that was just ONE
man.
»A girl is "learning"...A woman
"knows"
»A Girl will read this and get an
attitude.
»A Woman will read this and
pass it to other women.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-22 14:28:15

464 Views




A young woman was impressed by the massive Texan in the bar.


“Pardon me, sir, but can I ask about the measurements of your chest. I am amazed.”


“Well, thank you, ma’am. It’s 33 inches.”


“Wow, around?”


“No, ma’am. Through.”


“Well, then, sir. What about your waist?”


“It’s 28 inches.”


“Around?”


“No, ma’am. Through.”


“Well, then. One last question. What about the size of your manhood.”


“You see, ma’am. It’s 3 inches!”


“Wow,” said the woman. “Through?!”


“Oh, no, Ma’am. From the floor!!!Related

Akpos wife [Read it]


Akpos: My wife how many men have you slept with after we got married?

Wife: (silent)

Akpos: (11 minutes later) I asked you a question!

Wife: Quiet, please.

Akpos: (16 minutes later) Are you afraid to tell me the truth?

Wife: Will you just keep quiet and let me finish counting?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-09 22:24:15

540 Views



Bone no Flesh [Read it]


Akpos was given a leave from his
office, so he decided to go and
spend the leave with his friend in
America. On getting there, the
friend took him out to see places
and the last place he took him to
was the zoo. In the zoo, they visited
the lions' cage. Suddenly, his friend
jumped inside the cage. Akpos,
stunned, wondered why he did that,
but when the lion approached his
friend, he said "Bone,no flesh."
The lion was disappointed when it
heard this, turned back and went to
sleep. Akpos couldn't believe what
just happened and he said to
himself that he must try this in
Warri zoo. So when he came back to
Nigeria, he went to the zoo in Warri
and jumped inside the lion's cage.
As the lion approached him slowly,
he said with all confidence,
"Bone,no flesh!".
But to his surprise, the lion cheekily
replied. "I go manage am!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-24 21:02:06

581 Views




As confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market.Related

A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.Related


During Akpos’ wedding reception, he was called upon to give his vote of thanks to his guests, and proceeded as follows:

1. I want to first of all thank the Lord Almighty for creating my wife and to also thank the pastor and his wife for lending us their wedding rings.

2.Special appreciation to my landlord who lent us his car.

3. I am most grateful to my boss for approving the loan I used for the wedding.

4. Big thanks to the committee of friends for the appeal fund they raised on my behalf.

5. Also to my brother’s wife, thank you for lending us your wedding gown.

6. I’m so grateful to the cake designer for the cake. I promised to return it tomorrow morning as agreed without cutting or part of it.

7. Special thanks to my friends who brought food from their homes to help me feed you all. Please for those who were served food good luck and for Those who didn’t get any, well we will make it up to you during our child dedication (hopefully next year).
8.Very big thanks to my parents for bringing the village cultural band to supply the music as well as entertain us all here, today.

9.Not forgetting the church marriage committee, thank you for persuading my wife to marry me.

10. Appreciation to the married men in the church for rushing me into this marriage.

11. The women are not left out, thanks a lot for teaching my wife how to dance.

12. To the youths, thank you for sweeping and decorating this venue with palm fronds.

13. I am also grateful to my teenage friends for helping with the Zobo drink

14. Appreciation to my co-tenants for contributing money for the cameraman

15. Well, I wish you all safe journey and I pray you don’t experience what I suffered for this wedding. Thank you all.





NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-19 11:12:39

197 Views



mind joke [Read it]


[10:59 AM]: Girl: I was scared bcoz it was my first tym doing it,I just heard people say its painful and he said 2 me I must open and I opened slowly and he said I must not be scared,he wont hurt me,then I opened,he puts it in slowly(ouch). I felt like I could cry,but I was 2 shy that people will hear me in the other rooms,he asked that if it was hurting......But I couldn't reply. Tearz were rolling down and my eyes were closed,he then removed it and said;:I told u that I won't hurt u,and I smiled and said;:Thank u Doctor,4 removing this teeth,it really troubled me. Na wao see as u just concentrate dey read am..corrupt minded person u b. Iolz .. Send 2 your frendz and let them think the way u did!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-16 20:38:59

584 Views




A four year old girl walks in while
her father is dressing in the
bedroom. She looks at his privates
and points at his and ask, "Dad!
What's that thing between your
legs?"
The dad replies, "I don't know."
She goes to the kitchen and finds
her mom, "Mom. What's that long
thing between dad's legs?"
Her mom instead of explaining
things to her, replies, "I don't
know."
A week later, when her mom was
coming home from work, the little
girl ran to her and says, "Mom! You
refuse to tell me the name of that
thing between dad's legs. I have
finally figured it out myself. It's a
toothbrush!"
The mom laughs, then ask, "How do
you know that?"
The little girl explains, "When I
came back from school this morning,
I saw aunty Nana (the Maid)
kneeling in front of dad, brushing
her teeth with dad's toothbrush and
sure enough, there was toothpaste
all over her mouth."
The mum fainted!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-02 18:19:11

1735 Views



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