Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


Teri Yaad Mein Humne Kalam Uthaayi;

Liya Paper Aur Tasveer Aapki Banayi;

Socha Tha Ki Usko Dil Se Laga Kar Rakhenge;

Magar Vo To Bachchon Ko Draane Ke Kaam Aayi!Related

Husband buys 5 of the same color of pants for his wife. Wife: Ah, same color, people will think i don't change my panties. Husband: Which people?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-08 16:56:39

464 Views



doughnuts [Read it]


teacher:if u av 10 doughnuts and a frnd ask 4 2 how many d it remain.?. Akpos:10.the teacher knwing ho naughty he may be. Teacher:if d frnd forcefully collect 2 from u hw many d u av?. Akpos:10 doughnuts 1 dead body


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-12 12:51:06

428 Views



preacher [Read it]


There was a preacher who fell in
the ocean and he couldn't swim.
When a boat came by, the
captain yelled, "Do you need help,
sir?" The preacher calmly said
"No, God will save me." A little
later, another boat came by and a
fisherman asked, "Hey, do you
need help?" The preacher replied
again, "No God will save me."
Eventually the preacher drowned
& went to heaven. The preacher
asked God, "Why didn't you save
me?" God replied, "Fool, I sent
you two boats!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-05 22:55:28

258 Views



NO LIGHT [Read it]


Akpos was trying to get away with not
paying for his electricity bill. As soon as
he saw the National electric official man
heading towards his house, he quickly
put off the meter in his house and used
a big cupboard to cover it up and hide it. The official came, "Hello Mr. Akpos, I'm
here for your electricity bill." Akpos asked, "What do you mean? I do
not have light, so I don't need to pay
any electricity bill." But I can see electric wires running
through your roof." The light man said. Akpos said, "Hmmm, please come
inside, I want to show you something.
He led the man to his fridge and
pointed to the jar of milk inside, and
asked, "What is this?" The official replied, "How can you ask
me such a silly question, it's a jar of
milk." Akpos said, "Very good, now does that
mean I have cows in my house?"
#BOLLY_SMART™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-07 22:38:05

404 Views




Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

~ Oscar WildeRelated

An educated woman got married to an illiterate.
One day, they went out on a date.
They were served food without spoons.

MAN: Waiter, please bring me 2 spoon.

WOMAN: It's 'spoons' and not 'spoon'.

MAN: Okay. Waiter help me to add "s" in that spoon.
An educated woman got married to an illiterate. One day, they went out on a date.They were served food without spoons.MAN: Waiter, please bring me 2 spoon.WOMAN: It's 'spoons' and not 'spoon'.MAN: Okay. Waiter help me to add "s" in that spoon.

See more at:

Rice and stew [Read it]


One day I went to one MAMA
PUT joint in my
street
Mama Put:- son should I put
beans for you
Me:- no I need rice and stew
Mama Put:- Stew is not ready
now, can you
wait for some minutes
Me:- i can't wait, give me only
the white rice
Mama Put:- okay, and she dish
it for me
Me:- I finish the rice before she
carry the stew
pot down.
Me:- I asked her to dish the
stew for me
Mama Put:- son you have
finished eating the
rice na
Me:-don't worry
Mama Put:- and she did
Me:- when I finished drinking
the stew she
dish for me, I started rolling on
the ground
Mama Put:- shouting ,,,,,,.......somebody help
me oooo:......some body help
me oooooo
Me:- mama don't be afraid, I am
rolling so that
the stew will mix with the rice
in my stomach.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-21 16:58:46

126 Views



Very Dificult [Read it]


The following conversation ensued between Akpos and his father...


FATHER: Akpos, how was your exams today?


AKPOS: It was very difficult, so I didn’t even go to the exams center.


FATHER: What?! If you didn’t go there, how do you know that it was difficult?


AKPOS: I saw the questions yesterday.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-25 20:13:31

364 Views




Anyone can catch ur eyes, but it takes someone special 2 catch ur heart.

Happy Valentine`s DayRelated

TEACHER: To get to the other side. PLATO: For the greater good. ARISTOTLE: It is in the nature of chickens to cross
roads. KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the
chicken's side of the road was threatening its
dominant market position. The chicken was faced
with significant challenges to create and develop
the competencies required for the newly
competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the
chicken by rethinking it's physical distribution
strategy and implementation process. Using the
Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped
the chicken use it's skills, methodologies
, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in
support of it's overall strategy within a Program
Management framework. Andersen Consulting
convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road
analysts and best chickens along with Andersen
consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two day itinerary of
meetings in order to leverage their personal
knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to
enable them to synergize with each other in order
to achieve theimplicit goals of delivering and
successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the
continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The
meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling
and creating an impactful environment which was
strategically based, industry-focused, and built
upon a consistent, clear and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission,
vision and core values. This was conducive towards
the creation of a total business integration solution
paradigm. TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the
establishment would let it take. SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked actof rebellion and we werequite justified in dropping
50 tons of nerve gas on it. RONALD REAGAN: I forget. CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no
chicken has gone before. LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents
the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man
in order to trample him and keep him down. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where
all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question. MOSES (Monty Python style): And God came down
from the Heavens, and he said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken
crossed the road, ...and there was much rejoicing. FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your
own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross
the road for you to believe it? RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the
road. I repeat, the chicken DID NOT cross the road. MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed
the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the
road justifies whatever motive there was. JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross the road? I
mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What
the heck was the chicken doing wandering around
all over the place anyway?" FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that
the chicken crossed the road reveals your
underlying sexual insecurity. BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken
Office 2010 (with integrated Internet Seed
Explorer), which will not only cross roads, butwill
lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook. OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the
chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who is
crossing the road at the same time, whom we
overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken
crossing?" DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have
been naturally selected in such a way that they are
genetically disposed to cross roads. EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or
the road moved beneath the chicken depends
upon your frame of reference. BUDDHA: Asking the question denies your own chicken nature. RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross
the road...it transcended it. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain#AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-24 11:31:02

347 Views




Ekaitte went to the store to buy a parrot
trained in the USA and asks
the sales person;
"What's so special about this parrot ?"
Sales person says:
"This parrot is a genius and can answer any
question"
Ekaitte asks the parrot;
"How do I look?"
The parrot replies;
"You look like a fuckin slut?"
Ekaitte gets pissed off and tells the sales
person that its a very rude
parrot and she cannot buy it despite it
was trained in the USA.
The sales person tells Ekaitte to wait for 2
mins...
The sales person takes the parrot to the back
of the store and
shoves the parrot into a bucket of water
and when he pulls the
parrot out he says;
"if you disrespect the lady out there again
i'll soak you back in water" and takes the
parrot back to the store.
Th sales person apologized to Ekaitte and
says she can ask the
parrot another question.
Ekaitte: "If I come home with one man
what would you think?" Parrot: "He's your
husband"
Ekaitte: "Two men?"
Parrot: "Your husband and his brother"
Ekaitte: "Three men?"
Parrot: "Your husband, his brother and
your brother" Ekaitte: "Four men?"
At this time the Parrot turns to the Sales
person and says:
"Bring back the bleeping bucket of water
I already told you she's a
slut!!!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-11 18:48:20

480 Views




For a Nice Friend – “Nice Morning”


For a Sweet Friend – “Sweet Morning”


For a Loving Friend – “Lovely Morning”


For a Good Friend – “Good Morning”Related

We went back to the village that
same day feeling dejected and
annoyed.
I felt worse.
Oga had denied me before my
mother and I felt like committing
suicide.
The shame was unbearable.
And I didn’t know how to cope
with being a single mother at such
young age and coupled with the
fact that my mother was not
financially buoyant to cater for the
additional responsibility I was
bringing her way.
But all the same the months flew
by and I was soon due to deliver.
At the maternity centre, I was
delivered of a bouncing baby boy
and guess what?
He looked exactly like his father…
.
.
.
THE END

Did you enjoy the story?








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For the whole of her life Bakhita would repeat "how much my mother cried and how much we did,too".
Two years passed after the unforgettable afternoon. The village has resumed it's rhythm even though many families carried the burden of sadness and sorrow. The twins had now turned eight,they were both very dear,but one of them,Bakhita,was well-known for her sensitivity. She loved her mother very much and showed it in thousands of ways in order to lighten the sorrow of the unhappy lot which had fallen her eldest sister.
Bakhita loved nature,she was enchanted by the rapid rising and setting of the sun,she was filled with wonders as she admired the glittering stars which were so close in the limpid Africa nights,the ample tropical vegetation in its variety of plant and flowers captured her interest and she saved herself "oh,who is the master of all these beautiful things? How is would like to meet him and pay him homage!".
One day Bakhita left the village with a friend, they were going to a big field which was really green at that season, they were both intent on gathering wisps of herbs which had a sweet and source taste,all of a sudden they fell silent, two armed strangers appeared from nowhere and we're walking towards them,surprised and frightened they clung to eachother as though they were trying to protect each other, the two unknown men were now close,ands they approached the children the first one smiled and said kindly, "don't be afraid ",while the other one accompanied the words with inviting gestures.
"One of them turned to my friend and said,'let this little one run to fetch a parcel for me from over there near those bushes.you can go on ypur way and she will catch up with you immediately "
Bakhita hastened to obey and ran to search around the bushes at the edge of the forest, but...there was no parcel in sight, she was still intent on her search when she was roughly grabbed by the shoulders,Bakhita related "i was petrified with fear,i trembled from head to foot and tried to shout out, but a lump in my throat prevented me.
"If you shout,you are dead',threatened one of them taking a knife menacingly from his belt.the other one urged me to walk quickly while he pointed the barrel of gun at my back".

>>

NIGHTMARE EPISODE 2 (STORY BY DINDY)
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story...
:
:
:
Its hand was too strong (surly it was not a human so its power were more than mine), its fingers cut deep into my neck, my neck veins cut so fast that I felt a very painful sting in my neck.
I lost the ability to shout, there was very little amount of blood going to my brain make me loss sight of everything going on around me.
Suddenly blood began go drip from my nose, my life was now becoming more like a dust (I knew it was the end for me but why are these creatures after me? I surly didn't kill anyone, i am a cool and gentle man, what could I have done wrong to invoke such creatures of darkness?), my eyes began to close, i couldn't fight back (its hold on me weaken me, my fingers were all frozen).
The creature left hold of me and I dropped; like a man with no life (but I still had little life in me. Hmmm I wonder why it didn't finish me off at once, maybe it wanted the other creature to eat me up alive).
I was on the floor; with blood coming from my nose, neck and now mouth and ears because of the way my head landed on the floor.
My fingers were red and I couldn't feel anything all over my body, I was a corpus lying down but the only difference was that I had little life.
The creature was looking at me and waiting for me to pass out (to die completely).
The weird thing was that why didn't it just finish me once, why did it want me to pass through all these pains and sufferings?.
All I wanted was just to die so that the pain would leave me......to be continue.
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi



>>

I eventually asked her to come visit me
at my place, it took her some time to accept
but she knows she had no choice, refusing
could make me get angry, she agreed on
coming to visit me at my house,i was very
glad within me,we fixed a date that will
me conducive for me,i wouldn't want any
one to be at home on the day she will
visit, i pick the day i will be home
alone, i told my friends about it and
they were pleased, to me this was the
time we all have been waiting for,i
then prepared myself for the D-day.
I woke up exactly 10am in the morning,
it was the day that my most precious
visitor was coming to my house,i got
up and started to put everything in
order, i tidied the sitting room even
when I knew it was already neat,i did
the same to my room,i then prepared rice
(jollof ) i look at the time and it was
11:45 am,she could be here anytime moment
from now because she has promised to come
by 12pm, i reached to the bathroom and took
my bath and in the next 15 minute i was already
ready,i was so determine to have my pay that
day after all the stress and hardworking i
have put into it,the truth was that no girl
has ever stressed me out the way lmade did
so I knew i will have her till i am satisfied,
i came out of the house and opened the gate
to check outside, it was already 12:17pm but
yet no sign of her,i went back in "i hope
this girl will not disappoint me,she
shouldn't even dare,if only I had her number
i could have called to find out why the delay ".
Osaretin and co. called to know how things
were going " no show oh", they told me to
still wait for her that they knows she
will come,i was already growing inpatient,
at about 12:55 she hasn't come,i was now
boiling inside of me,i hate waiting for
someone,most expecially when it my call,
ah i have done a lot of things for this girl,
even invited her to my house,i have nevered
done this before, now the first girl i
manage to invite to my house started with
a disappointment
I woke up and looked at the time it was
1:32pm, so this girl didn't come,i must
have dove off while I was thinking of
the whole disappointment thing,i checked
my phone and saw a missed call,that
was the call that woke me up from
sleep because I felt my phone ringing
while sleeping,the caller was my neighbour
who live at the next compound, he isn't my
friend but we had eachother number, i till
can't remember why,but you guys should
understand ne,i called him back maybe he
has some important things to talk about,
he pick and we exchanged pleasantries
"one chic con look for you oooo,she knock
for your gate but e be like say you non dey"
i didn't need anyone to tell me it was
lmade, i jumped up immediately asking
him when was that,he told me if I can
run down the street i might till meet
her,i thanked him and ended the call,
i quickly dash out of the house in search
for her,the direction she took wasn't that
difficult for me to find because I know the
direction she will take when she is coming
form her house,i ran as fast as my legs could
carry me,"all this for just one girl,which kind
devil sleep take me ne",i kept blaming myself.

*******to be continued *******

>>

Copyright @2016 by Nisor Wonderful.
All rights reserved. No parts of this publication may be reproduced, or distributed, without a prior written permission of the author.
Facebook: Nisor Wonderfulamaya
Email: [email protected]

.
.
Me: wow, I finally got an admission into that said indigenous university. Well I hope it treat me nice unlike the way it treats others.
My name is Milly. Milly brandez I am 23 years old and I come from a filthily rich family. As you can see I have gotten an admission and this is how and where my story began.
Me: hey my name is Milly and I am your roommate (hoping to get a handshake but was turned down)
Belinda: nice to meet you.(she weighed me with her eyes and left the doorpost to her bed).
Me: (I didn’t like her one bit because she looked rugged and more like a proustite) is it the two of us or are there still others?
Belinda: you waited here before I came in or were you talking to the walls? So I would appreciate it if you just shut up and wait to see for yourself. This is a room and not who wants to be a millionaire hot seat. So stop questioning me like i am your answering machine!.
Me: well I am sorry(I felt like slapping her makeover fave but nah it was just my first day).
To be continued..
.
.
Episode 2..
Continues..
Not too long another girl entered.
Miranda: hey, hi you must be the new girl here right?
Me: (feeling bored and uncomfortable around belinda but was glad to see someone else) yes I am, my name is milly and you?
Miranda: mine is miranda, meeting you is my pleasure. Wow I must say you look beautiful even beautiful than all the girls I have seen in campus.
Me: thank you( I was surprised she said that. I know I am beautiful but I didn't expect a girl to tell me that. Before then I heard belinda hissed and looked away. This was my chance to ask all my questions since she was more nicer than belinda) how many of us will be staying in this room?
Miranda: oh, it's just the three of us. We all are level 100. But what course are you?
Me: biochemistry and you
Miranda: I am a law student.
Me: what about that girl(pointing at belinda with my face because I didn't know her name by then) she seems weird.(I whispered to her)
Mirandah! That's belinda she is an accounting student. She is in level 200 she will be graduating the same year with us because she added an additional year for herself here in campus to learn other things like entrepreneurship.(also whispering to me)
Me: why is she like that I mean rude?(the whispering continues)
Miranda: well she has been like that ever since, she is rich, quite intelligent and her boyfriend is the leader of "presto perfectos."
.

To be continued after comments..


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy and wise.

~ Benjamin FranklinRelated

“why, whats wrong?” i asked abigail with a confused face. She stared at him for a moment and uttered. “sorry girl but it seems i met the wrong person” she said, still staring into Alexs eyes. I didn’t understand a thing. ” abigail whats with the drama?” i beseech but she didn’t answer my question, instead, she stretched her hand to greet Alex. ” i am abigail” ” i am Alex, my honour” Alex took her hand in respond. ” im pleased” she said with a smile, i knew it was a fake smile. I know when abigail likes someone and when she doesn’t. She didn’t like Alex and i needed to find out why. Can any one guess why? Cause i am lost. “okay i will leave you guys here, i have to see my mum” i said to them and left. Seriously, it wasn’t necessary to see my mum cause she was with her friends. I only wanted to see how they will behave without my presence and eventually what i saw was weird. Alex was just following her around and abigail on the other hand, was just avoiding him. Whats going on? What does that mean?
Eventually, the party was over and abigail left quite early. Alex on the other hand stayed behind. ” i have to leave my love, can i see you for a minute” jackline said to me, holding my arm. Don’t be surprise if she calls me my love, please we aren’t lesbians, i agreed and followed her to a quite place. “why did you come back” Alex. “haha you mean why am i here? Hagan is my friend and has been myfriend for ages, you cant ask me that. Hei, i won’t even let you talk for long. The Alex who destroyed my life is dead long ago. I am warning you boy, if you dare hurt my friend, you will hate me until your last breath” abigail. “are you threatening me?” Alex. ” mmh just take it as a piece of advice, im sure you need it” abigail. “is that all you heard them say?” i asked jackline. Well, if you are confused, the dialogue you just read is a conversation between Alex and abigail when left them to be alone. Jackline fortunately heard the conversation and told me about it.
I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to. Alex is now part of me and i cant afford to believe that he would hurt me. I simply cant, and even if it were to be true, i needed something, yes i need something. I needed prove. Well, i had to do something one way or the other. Eventually the party came to an end. And Alex and i spent the night together but nothing happened. He wanted me but i didn’t give in. I was more than confuse now. I tried my best to get into abigails head but she was smart to escape what ever my intentions were. Mind you, abigail is also a lawyer and she is very intelligent. We go to restaurants together atimes, i mean abigail, myself and Alex but abigail will never show any sign of suspicion. But something happened.
We were from one of the luxurious restaurant, getting home. Abigail, myself and Alex. She actually come along with her car since i insisted that we drive in one car. It was really raining heavily that night. Really heavy. Alex was driving on a top speed, which frightened me. ” Alex you are driving too fast!” i yelled. Abigail stayed quiet behind us. ” im sorry,” he said and smiled. On the highway, we saw a certain woman in the raindrops with two people. I am certain they were not adults but ladies. They covered themselves with cloth on the rain and the storm was really heavy. Alex drove near then and splashed the running water on them. “stop the car! Stop!” abigail yelled. He didn’t want to but he eventually did, because the girl was d--n serious.” how dare you do that? Drive me back” she demanded. I was surprise at Alex actions. ” im not going to wait for you if i drive you back” Alex also said with all seriousness. ” i didn’t ask for that did i? Take me back” she insisted. I was speechless as i watched him in shock with an open mouth. I heard abigail making a phone call, when Alex was driving us back to the place. ” come with my car to the direction i gave you, hurry!” she instructed and hanged up. “abigail its raining!” i pleaded. She walked out and went to them. I rolled down the glass. “abigail what are you doing? Bring them inn!” i yelled because of the rain. ” i will be fine, don’t worry!” she answered with a shouted. Alex being impatient drove off before i could say any other word. Abigail was let in the rain with the strangers.
Strangers? Little did i know that it was the engineers mother and siblings… My life

>>

During the presentation ceremony after the victory at Mohali Test, Virat Kohli was asked about the next match to be played at Delhi.

His reaction was, “Till now we have taken off their clothes, Rape after all, happens in Delhi only!Related

The Student to the Sex Researcher, “In my case,” said the student to the sex researcher, “when I get it part way in, my vision blurs. And when it’s all the way in, I can’t see a thing.”


“Now, that’s an most interesting optical reaction, that may well have anatomical as well as physiological basis.” the researcher replied. “If you don’t mind young man, I should like to have a look at it.”


So, the student volunteer shrugged and stuck out his tongue.Related

Sarah [Read it]


Sarah goes to school, and the
teacher says, "Today we are
going to learn multi-syllable
words, class. Does anybody have
an example of a multi-syllable
word?" Sarah waves her hand,
"Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss
Rogers says, "All right, Sarah,
what is your multi-syllable
word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-
bate." Miss Rogers smiles and
says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a
mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss
Rogers, you're thinking of a
blowjob."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-05 23:26:04

347 Views




There were these two gay guys that give each other anal each night. One night before they give each other anal one of the guys has to go to the toilet.


So the other guy says, “Ok, but don’t wank in there, save it for later.”


“Sure mate,” and the first guy agrees.


This guy was in the toilet for a while so the other gay guy decides to check on him. Once he opens the toilet door he sees lots of semen everywhere.


He gets angry and yells, “I thought I told you not to wank and to save it for later!”


The first gay guy replies, “I didn’t wank, I just farted.”Related

Long time ago,there was a school where people with mental disorder are being trained and cared for.
One faithful morning,one of their teacher,mr ajanlekoko entered their class.he was surprised at d state he met them.b'cos while some were dancing without drum,others were running around.the teacher chastise them and inform them dat since they are in their final year they must av fully recovered.he said before they will b released they av one more test to take.
The teacher drew a house. On d chalk board he now askd them to enter d house;they started rushing and pulling each other in order to enter d imagined house except one of them who stood alone,staring at them with contempt and shaking his head as well.
This silly action continued for a long time untill d teacher cautioned them.He told them dat they are stupid and they still av more years to spend in sch.
He told d one dat stood alone dat he was d only one dat passed the test.he quickly phoned his parent dat. Their child was in a perfect mind that they should come and pick him up.
Soon, the parent arrived in a flying agBada and very happy. D teacher now askt d boy in d presence of his parent dat y ddn't he join his colleagues while they are trying to enter a house drawn on a chalk board,he now reply thus;{laughing} hmm! I did not join them b'cos they are all crazy and foolis.simply because d key to dat house is in my hand and I built d house myself.the parent fainted! Describe d boy in one word pls!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-16 22:13:12

1254 Views




A friend is anyone who isn’t trying to sell you something.Related

ATTITUDE [Read it]


Your attitude will determine ur uptitude in life,always make urself happy


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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silly ME [Read it]


silly ME.

IF not that i was silly, how would i work for 30 days then give my salary to prostitutes?

IF not that i was crazy, how would i sweat in the sun for hours then spend my wages on beer?

IF not that i was sick, how would i obtain a loan and spend it on burial ceremony?

IF not that i was mad, how would i kill a person for an amount that can't buy me a motor cycle?

IF not that i was dumb, how would i not ask myself these questions?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-21 19:28:59

106 Views




She said.. . . . she just wanted

space, but I’m so generous I

gifted her the entire keyboard. ????Related

husband and wife agreed that whenever they want to have sex they will call it ' phone call' so that the children won't understand. one day dad sand son to tell mum, that he went's to make a phone call mum, replies tell dad that network is busy to day; dad replies tell mum that the call is urgent. if the network is busy am going to a public phone booth: mum replies tell him that if he date goes to public phone booth, I Will open a business central and all phone calls will be free.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-05 21:44:48

485 Views



Ibadan guy [Read it]


I was sitting next to an ibadan guy putting on an earphone and he started shouting... OLA SAN MI.. D noise was 2much wit anger i unplug d earphone, it was then i notice he was singing.......,,,................:.




ALL EYEZ ON ME


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-02 17:28:15

401 Views




Don’t ever make a woman cry!

There is nothing more expensive than a woman’s tears.

When a single drop of tear comes out, it first mixes with L’Oreal Eyeliner—N7, 500 and then Revlon Mascara—N8, 500.

When it rolls down the cheek, it mixes with Estee Lauder Foundation—N11, 000, Zaron Blush—N15, 000 and Mac Powder—N19, 000.

Then, finally, when it touches the lips, it lands on Maybelline Lipstick—N12, 000 and Avon Lip Gloss—N5, 000.

A single drop of a woman’s tear is running for about N78, 000, so please, save resources and don't ever make her cry.

But you can make a man cry, it is only Vaseline—N150.


Girls, what do you think?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-26 09:15:24

592 Views




Koi Deewana Kehta Hai Koi Pagal Samajhta Hai;

Magar Dharti Ki Bechani Ko Bus Badal Samajhta Hai;

Mein Tujhse Door Kaisa Hoon, Tu Mujhse Door Kaisi Hai;

Yeh Tera Dil Samajhta Hai Ya Mera Dil Samajhta Hai!Related

Boko Haram [Read it]


GIRL : Dad, my fiance is an hausa man
DAD : God forbid!, boko haram people!?... Noooooo!!!...
GIRL : he's Dangote's son....
DAD : Ahhhhhh, we are all Nigerians now...why are you still sitting down talking to me, call him the wedding can start tomorrow.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-19 20:13:01

309 Views




Normal Billi : Meow!

Dilli ki Billi : Meow,Bhenchodh ????Related

Please friends help me pray for a friend's younger
Brother .We are on our way to the hospital now!
He swallowed Memory Card (8G) & he is
singing all d songs on it. We don't know
what will happen when he gets to the videos
folder coz its full of war films.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-02 07:39:14

318 Views




Akpos saw a girl,drowning in d swimming pool and ran and saved her.the doctor seing what happen and decided 2 discharge Akpos.
Doctor:Akpos we want 2 discharge because of the girl u saved
Akposk
Doctor:but before dat.we av gud and bad news for u
Akposk
Doctor:the bad news first,the girl u saved,hanged herself in the bathroom
Akpos:no she ddnt hang herself,i kept her dr 2 dry up.

Thats how Akpos loose the discharge offer


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-27 01:50:56

436 Views




Once upon a time, there lived a sorcerer and a
wizard.
Unfortunately one day, they died...
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What are you scrolling down for?

I said they died nah!

Abi Death get Part 2? ????


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-27 23:44:41

685 Views




Mary lost her BB Z10....
She decided to call the number
to see if the
thief would be nice enough to
pick the call.... She dialled the number and a
deep voice
answered d phone
AKPORS: Hello,...who is dis....
MARY: its me, the owner of the
phone u are using.
AKPORS: oh, thank God! i have
been looking
for you since
MARY: Really? Lookin for me?
you want to return the phone?... thank u!
AKPORS: hell no, i want to
collect the charger,
BB charger is very expensive in
the market
MARY: Thunder fire u idiot


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-16 08:06:52

234 Views




LOVE=>WRITE UP BY DINDY
do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission,thank you for reading this write up...
This is not only a symbol or an emotion or a feeling I have for you, but it is what I see when I come close to you. When I sit beside you, I feel alive,I feel like a bird in the sky,I feel like a whale in an ocean,I feel inner peace,I feel your love,I feel your breath,I feel I am you,I feel the whole universe under my breath,my heart wanna escape from my chest,my arms wanna hold you,my eyes just wanna look at you all day and night.
Your name brings an indescribable joy to my world,I wish I could just be a part of you or even something you wear, i wish to be that thing you wear,anytime I talk to you I have this strong feeling that only you can make me a human.
many might call you green gold but you are more than a green gold to me, you are the star that shines in my lifeless soul,you are the complete part of me,you are a new discovery I found in my universe. If i stay a minute without you, it could cause madness to me.
I feel hurt each time people insult you,I feel broken and weak anytime you are down,I feel sad each time you cry,I get mad each time people talk bad about you,I feel rejected each time you push me out of your problems,but what keep me moving is the unbelievable love I have for you.
I am a kid that needs a mother,I am a little puppy that needs to be fed,my heart is hungry for your love,my eyes are crying for your smiles ,My arms wanna be around you,my mind is swimming in a pool of the beautiful memory I have of you,my voice wants to sing your name everyday.
I have never loved someone so much that it made me to write a love letter,but you broke my rules. I have never loved someone so much that it made me sing a song,but you rearrange me. I have never loved someone so much that it made me dream of the person all day and night,but you made me see visions. I have never loved someone so much that it made me to loose focus,but you found a way to do it.
The day I looked into your eyes,all I saw was me,I saw my real life in yours,I saw the real me in you,I saw my whole universe in your eyes,it was full of colourful star and light,it shined so bright that i could feel the reflection in my own eyes and soul.
ALL I REALLY WANT TO SAY IS I LOVE YOU MY FANS AND I WISH YOU GUYS LOVE ME BACK THE SAME WAY.#DINDY LOVE IS FANS
MY NAME IS NNAMDI AKA DINDY AND I WROTE THIS WRITE UP.LEARN FROM WHAT YOU READ NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND.THANKS FOR READING......................WRITE UP BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI.........whatsapp number:07087750433.... [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected] facebook namessy nnamdi.......Skype: 07087750433 or [email protected].................Twitter:@nnamdiossy







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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