Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


I was still trying to grasp what they were saying when Cynthia moved to where i was seated and placed her hand on my hard deek that was inside my jean “this your friend carry ooo” she said. I stood still and her hand sent a shock to my body, i didn’t even know when she unzip my jean and brought out my deek. “enjoy yourself ore while i sort my things out”, said Aminat. She rubbed her hand on my deek, placed her mouth on it and started giving me serious mouth suck, i was just screaming out loud the way she was handling me, initially i didn’t touch her but i summon up courage to grab her breast and started fondling them, i raised up her singlet and unhook her bra after which i lifted her up then took her to her bed. I sucked those melons for like 10mins afther which I pull down her bump short in a rush, i inserted my deek in her wet pusssy and started digging hard, i thought Aminat was a good moaner, Cynthia was shouting instead of moaning…she was shouting and squeezing her face seriously, i was hitting her stomach seriously hard and didn’t took a while before water started rolling down her eyes, i looked at Aminat and she gave me the look and a nod of go ahead, she already had cigarette and was smoking real hard with drink inside a glass cup.
I didn’t even look at Cynthia’s face as i switched her over, her face was facing the bed and i slot in my deek and started banging her from behind, she was shouting and Aminat was laughing, i was there for like 5minutes after i turned her over again, lifted one of her leg and started coming in again, have not bang her up to two minutes in that position that she forcefully pushed me away and ran to the bathroom.
Aminat was laughing uncontrollably, i took the glass of ororo she was drinking and gushed it through my mouth to my stomach, i dropped it on the floor, sat on her laps and started kissing her, she responded by kissing me back, i dig was in between her leggings, as i was kissing her, i was using my hand to rub my deek on her pusssy outside the leggings, she was later the one using her hand to rub my deek on her…i pull her down, she stood up, raised her ass behind me holding the top of the chair, i held her ass and slotted in from behind and started digging her too…I lasted for like 10minutes after which i came……..wow, it was awesome.
We looked around and Cynthia was still not out of the toilet, we were scared if something bad had happened to her and we both rushed into the toilet, there will saw Cynthia seated on the WC and was struggling for air. Aminat busted into laughter and closed the door, i entered the toilet and moved close to her to console her but she pushed me away, maybe she thought i wanted to start all over again, i couldn’t take my bath as i just clean myself, went back to the room, dress up and we both left Cynthia in the bathroom and went home.
Life was so sweet as i was enjoying myself, what else to ask from God, i had in my possession free pusssy without any emotional attachment, money was not really problem even though i don’t have much but i don’t lack. In fact, Aminat trusted me to the fact that i was the one handling her ATM card.
It was just a week to our second semester exams and God knows i was not active in class at all, i only go to class anytime we are having test and once in a while anytime i feel like. Two days to the commencement of our exam, i was in Abuja on the invite of Bode to his father’s birthday, i met Cynthia at the party, she ran away on sighting me, she didn’t even wait to greet me or stay close to me. I met her at a close corner on the night of the birthday bash and she didn’t even wait to talk to me “higher killer” she said. Aminat was the one that organized girls to the party from Ilorin, we went there in company of close to 20 girls from KP, College of Education, Al-Hikmah and Unilorin, they were shared by the big men when we got there, even Aminat disappeared from my view at the party and came to meet me very early in the morning inside the room Bode kept me. I came back on Sunday night and exam was suppose to start on Monday.
I did the exam the way i like and the 3 weeks for the exam was not even that different because Aminat will not let me be, she was always on me. Exams was here and gone, 3 weeks holiday was given and i spent most of it in Bode’s place as we now became closer as time goes on.
My dad called me one afternoon and told me Nimat passed her Jamb that i will be the one to help her with her admission stuff. Most of my holiday period was to press one button and the other. They forwarded all her documents to me, she scored 256 in jamb and she is putting in for finance.

Read Episode 44




While in church a lady dozed off during the preaching. Suddenly, the lady snapped
out of her slumber and what she heard from d pastor was "stand on your feet", so she jumped to her feet. She noticed that she was the only one standing. She also noticed the shock on the faces of the entire congregation looking at her including her husband and daughter. The stares made her confused until the pastor stated, "One person is already up, Sister God bless you. Let me repeat myself for the benefit of those who did not hear me well, this is your last chance!: If you are a witch, stand up on your feet for deliverance!

YAWA DON GAS O
Abi make sister siddon or continue to stand?, please advice!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-08-26 00:52:36

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WRITE UP BY DINDY: DARKNESS AND LIGHT

Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this write up.

I was once playing in a room which was totally dark, it was so dark that I couldn't see anything; my eyes were well bonded with the darkness.
My brother from the other room, came to my room and pointed a properly charged torchlight on my face, forcing my eyes against it's will to stay open.
The bright light, penetrated into my eyes down to my brain, making me close my eyes speedily due to the light which was too much.
After he did that, he ran back to his room. I tried opening my eyes and when I did, i could still see light although the place was dark.
LESSON TO BE LEARNT
Darkness never last long and it can never defeat light, so never ever get use to the darkness around you or in you because one day the light will surely shine and it could cause you blindness or inflict pain on/in you.
BE A HUMAN OF LIGHT
DINDY SAID SO
MY NAME IS NNAMDI AKA DINDY AND I WROTE THIS WRITE UP FOR MR ELVIS. LEARN FROM WHAT YOU READ NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND. THANKS FOR READING.
contact me on
Whatsapp/Viber: 07087750433
Email: [email protected]
or
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: 07087750433
or
Skype: [email protected]
Twitter: @nnamdiossy
INSTAGRAM: @ossynnamdi









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Lambert: dear;where are coming from?
Grace: i went to the office
Lambert: really
Grace: yes;
Lambert: but why is it that;when i called you aren't there
Grace: uh.....um....
Lambert: are you confused?
Grace: not really?
Lambert: do you now lie to me
Grace: no;is just that;your daughter is.....
Lambert: what happen to my little princess
Grace: nothing serious but she was hospitalise
Lambert: my baby is sick and you are saying is nothing serious(he pick his phone and called her)hello
Loveth: dad
Lambert: are you still at the hospital?
Loveth: hospital?
Lambert: yes and please dont lie to me
Loveth: i told mom not to let you;i know...
Lambert: that is not important now;where are you
Loveth: i am at home
Lambert: fine;i am on my way
Loveth: no dad;i am fine and i going out with my husband in an hour time
Lambert: stay at home and wait for me
Loveth: dad;can i talk to mom
Lambert: sure(he gave grace the phone)
Loveth: mom;please don't let dad come over;i cant risk it;if he sees me like this;he will never let me stay. i beg you;please help me out
Grace: fine;i will
Loveth: thank mom;you can give it to dad(she gave the phone back to Lambert)dad;
Lambert: yes;i am on my way
Loveth: alright
Lambert: please take good care of yourself
Loveth: i will;we will see later(he end the call)
Lambert: Grace;come on lets go
Grace: Bert;i am coming;let me make use of the rest room
Lambert: alright;be fast about it(she went in and return)are you done
Grace: yes;shall we
Lambert: alright(she walked a little and paused)what is it?
Grace: i think i need to go back there?(she walked in)
Lambert: are you alright?
Grace: i don't think i am fine(she says in a low voice)just go alone
Lambert: what?i can't leave you in this situation
Grace: what do we do now?
Lambert: i will just tell Loveth;i will see her;some other time
Grace: alright;i am sorry(she laughed softly)
Lambert: is not your fault(he text Loveth)do you need any help?
Grace: yes;just come get me from the rest room
Lambert: i am coming(back to Loveth)
Loveth: that was close;thanks mom;i wouldn't know what i would had done if dad had find me with at this bruises on me
Jude: Loveth;i am off to my mom
Loveth: alright;bye(exit Jude)i just pray you wouldn't hurt me again(curtain)


Vivian: Abraham;where are you going to?
Abraham: to work;of cause
Vivian: i don't think so;you are always out;you are never home
Abraham: should i sit at home and do nothing?what will you eat?my face?
Vivian: where is the husband i married?
Abraham: oh!now you going to come out plain;i am not Abraham your husband;tell me what i have turn in to?
Vivian: Abraham,you don't need any one to tell you;you are not the man i got married and who ever is behind this,it will never be well with that person,be it a man or a woman
Abraham: will you just seal that thing you call mouth;instead of blaming others for your stupidity,do the right thing. give me a child
Vivian: am i God that give people kids
Abraham: really so?go pray for that;instead of calling down evil on innocent people(he walked away)
Vivian: we are still talking,God please open up my womb and bless my marriage(she cried) returned my husband to me(curtain)


Alex: Luke
Luke: yes
Alex: what will you like to name your unborn baby(enter Muriel/Joan)any special name
Muriel: my son;used to say,'i will name him after myself'
Joan: you want to call him Luke?
Luke: of cause;which better name will suit him then my very own name
Alex: what if is a girl?
Joan: then she will be name her after me
Muriel: Joan(he shake his head)any other name
Luke: Love...
Alex: what?
Luke: i will call her Loveth
Joan: never;not in this life and not in the next one to come
Luke: what is wrong with the name?
Muriel: you don't think son or do you?Joan come lets go(exit Joan/Muriel)
Luke: why are they acting strange?
Alex: you are the one acting strange;for all the names in the world you could think of?was to name your unborn baby after your ex
Luke: is not like Loveth was my girlfriend;she is just a friend
Alex: oh a friend;that make you loss it
Luke: Alex
Alex: i am telling you the fact;just erase her from your head
Luke: she is not on my head?
Alex: good for you
Luke: everyone is irritating
Alex: like you(he walked away)
Luke: but did i just say i want to name my daughter after her;Luke,something is real wrong with you;Joan;i am sorry;if it is a girl;we will name her after you(curtain)

Loveth: mom;what are you all doing here
Grace: silly girl;is your marriage adversary
Loveth: oh my God!how times fly;i really do not know that i am married up to a year;Jude;did you remember
Jude: of cause;i did
Loveth: and you didn't tell me
Jude: i am sorry;i have something for you
Lambert: don't mind her;who else is suppose to remind you of such a thing;this my little princess is something else
Loveth: dad
Lambert: come here(he embrace her)happy marriage anniversary
Loveth: thank you dad(he hand over her a car key)dad;what is this?
Lambert: don't tell me;you are going to reject it again
Loveth: of cause not dad;thank you dad;you are the best man in the whole wide world(she hugged him)
Lambert: don't say that;your husband might get jealous(laughed all)
Liz: you are right
Loveth: dad;you will never change(laughing continued)i cant believe i just got a new car;Jude;come on lets see it
Jude: don't worry;excuse me(he walked away)
Liz: excuse me;i go to my son
Loveth: alright mom
Grace: baby;mom also have something for you
Loveth: was that?
Grace: here is the paper of my company in CLUE CITY;the name had been transfer to yours;so is now yours
Loveth: mom
Grace: yes;i have always manage it for you,hoping to give it to you on your first marriage anniversary
Loveth: you two are so unpredicted
Lambert: that is why we are older than you
Loveth: dad;mom;you two are the best
Grace: naught you;group hug(they hugged)i missed this
Loveth: mom;please excuse me;i need to go tell my husband the good news
Lambert: alright(exit Loveth)this little girl of mine will never change(back to Jude)
Liz: Jude;why did you walk out on the party
Jude: do they have to make me look foolish?for crying out loud she is my wife and i know when to buy her a new car or give her gift
Liz: Jude;is not what you think. she is their daughter an only child at that
Jude: oh!who am i ?
Loveth: Jude;mom just gave me her company
Liz: excuse me(she walked away)
Loveth: come on look at it
Jude: do i have to look at it?is there anything else they want to give to you
Loveth: i don't understand
Jude: i see;maybe the next anniversary will be a building;so you can live like a princess
Loveth: Jude;if you don't like it;i cant always return
Jude: and make me;look like the bad fella
Loveth: i am sorry;can we just be happy for today;don't let this make our anniversary same as our wedding day
Jude: how dare you remind me of that day(he slapped her twice)you useless girl
Loveth: i am sorry;please(he slapped her again)my dad is here
Jude: i don't care(she ran towards the door)will you come back here(as he was about to hit her again;he miss his step and used his head to hit the floor)nooooo(he bleed and Loveth turn and sees him on the floor)
Loveth: Jude(she screamed)somebody;anybody please help(they rush in)Jude;please wake up(he open his eyes a little)Jude
Jude: i love you(he passed out)
Loveth: please wake
Lambert: that is enough please lets take him to the hospital
Loveth: i don't want anything to happen to him
Liz: nothing will happen to him(they rushed him to the hospital)nothing will happen to my son(curtain)

Joan: Luke;get me;an handkerchief
Luke: alright(he walked into his room and pick up one but it happen to be one of those handkerchief given to him by Loveth)so i still have this(he smiled at it)i wonder how you are now?are you pregnant or did you already put to birth?(Joan walking in)i am sure he or she will look like you;i really missed you and your smile;i wish i could see you again;i will tell you how miserable i was when you left. i really don't know if i could get you out of my head;i just love you too much
Joan: really?(she clapped for him)you are married to me and you are still thinking about her. we are married going to a year and you still think and prophesy love for her;what do you take me for?
Luke: stop misunderstanding me;i did not say i still love her;i only said.....(he pause)
Joan: go on and complete it and prove me right;i hate you;you are the worse mistake of my life(she cry)
Luke: this is bad for your condition;stop it(she kept crying and hitting him)you are stressing yourself;it is you,i got married to. you are my wife
Joan: yes;but I am not the one you love(she screamed and she start bleeding)
Luke: Joan;stop you are bleeding
Joan: i don't care i want to die;just leave me alone(she try to move but she couldn't move and she screamed)
Luke: is like you are in labor
Joan: leave me alone(she pushed him and continued screamed)
Luke: stop this madness already(he carried her to the hospital)just relax you will be fine(curtain)


Grace: Loveth;stop crying;he will be fine
Loveth: i don't want anything to happen to him
Grace: why are you crying over him?
Loveth: he is my husband
Grace: husband indeed;i am sure he met this accident when he was trying to hit
Loveth: my husband is not like that
Grace: defend him;just pray that your dad doesn't see does mark of slap on your face
Loveth: mom;is it obvious
Grace: no;your husband is not like that;instead of praying that he should die;you are here crying over him. rubbish(she walked away)
Loveth: i just hope dad doesn't see it(back to Luke)
Muriel: Luke;what happen?
Luke: mom;i did not hit her;we were just talk and she get stress up and the next thing i could see is that she is bleeding
Muriel: what did you two talk about?
Luke: mom;is not important
Muriel: answer me what did you talk about
Luke: Love....(she slapped him)mom(enter Dr Faith)how is she?
Faith: she is going to undergo an operation in order to save both the baby and the mother but its a fifty fifty;so should in case there is complication who do we save
Muriel: save both of them
Faith: it might be difficult
Luke: i can carry out the operation,i am good at that
Muriel: you are sick
Faith: don't worry i will try my best Luke
Luke: thank you(Faith walk away)dammit
Muriel: if anything happen to her and the baby;i will never forgive you(exit Muriel)
Luke: mom(back to Loveth)
Loveth: i know our relationship is not in a good state but i don't want you to be in pains;i don't want to loss you because i wont have the heart to live with it;please wake up;don't just stay here;talk to me please;you can hit me if you want but please don't leave me(she cried)i beg you wake up;i promise if you ever wake i will love you with all my heart and i will stop thinking about leaving because you are my husband(back to Luke)
Luke: i have never be a good husband to you;i kept thinking of someone else but today that you are battling for you life;i cause it;please forgive me;i will do anything not to hurt you again;should in case God let you have a second chance i will treat you right and i will stop loving her;this time is for real(enter Muriel)goodbye Loveth; i want to start my life anew(he cried and his mom touch him)mom
Muriel: i am sorry son;God will definitely see our pains
Luke: i hope so(back to Loveth)
Loveth: i want to make my marriage work(Lambert walk in)dad
Lambert: come here;he will be fine(she hugged him cry)that is enough;stop crying(curtain)



SEE MORE......



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The mandate [Read it]


Am man nd his wife went 2 bed on thursday nite...the wife dreamed of herslf aving a vry hot intercourse with o very strong nd energetic young man nd she was moaning all of a sudden she woke up nd found out dat it was her 5yrs old boy that was playing with her......nd she got up nd screamed...OH NO IT HAS COME TO PASS THE MANDATE


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-05 15:38:35

585 Views




I have been sending a chat massages to this girl
as in"hi", "hello", "sup" since 2011 but she has
never replied me, but today i just send
"232252536421133" and after 2mins she
replied "sup handsome" please which network
airtime is this? And i reply to her,its NOKIA torch
light serial number and she block me
immediately. Pls have I said anything
bad?? Stay tune on Nairajokes.com


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-10 01:48:12

146 Views




Alfred: i don't really know what happen between him and Stephanie
Ayo: Stephanie again
Alfred: yes;but he also had issue with Juliet the girl in our department i told you about
AYO: are you sure it is Juliet that is making him piss up or Stephanie?
Alfred: i think is Stephanie;anyway i have to take my bath because i want to play basketball. will you come with me?
Ayo: sure;i will let me go and change

Desmond: good morning sir
Johnson: morning,was going on
Desmond: nothing sir;Tunde said you want to see me sir
Johnson: i did said i want to see you both,not just you. so where is he?
Desmond: sorry sir;i dont know. i thinking he is here already because he left very early
Tunde: am sorry sir that i am late
Johnson: is alright;how are you and your studies
Tunde: am fine sir and study is also alright
Johnson: that is good Desmond why are you pale
Desmond: nothing sir;i am just stress up
Johnson: are you sure?how is your wife?
Desmond: she is fine (he laughed)
Johnson: so you are married and you didn't inform me
Desmond: no oh(smiling)
Johnson: i caught you there. at least you are smiling and you(to Tunde)when are you going to introduce me to your girlfriend
Tunde: uncle;sorry sir,i don't have a girlfriend
Johnson: i am your uncle so you have to tell me
Tunde: i am sorry i don't have
Johnson: alright if you say so. what about Tina?(Desmond laughed)
Tunde: what are you laughing at?
Desmond: nothing
Johnson: i learn that you two are not in good terms because of a girl,that is why i call both of you
Tunde: that is not true
Johnson: you don't have to pretend in front of me because i already notice that when you came in before him and when i kept asking Desmond question you kept quiet without intruding unlike before. i even learnt that you both fought in campus one,when you know fighting is prohibited. come to think of it you both are my nephew,you have to fight indirectly calling our family worthless and nonentities
Desmond: we are sorry sir
Johnson: and both of you are living in same house
Tunde: am sorry but he started it by throwing the first punch at me
Desmond: i know i did but he push me into it,by embarrassing Stephie in public
Johnson: now i get it;you fought your brother over that same girl you told me that her lecturer is after;hmm?
Desmond: am sorry uncle;sorry sir is not what you are thinking
Johnson: i know everything but i did not know that it was that same girl. its alright Tunde you are at fault,you wouldn't had hit her like that because she did you no wrong and you Desmond;you wouldn't had fought your brother in public. so you two house apologies to one another and also to Stephanie and i don't want to hear that you both did not talk to each other
Desmond: thank you sir;i think i have to be on my way
Johnson: what is your problem?i said apologies to him
Desmond: i will
Johnson: i know but i said here
Tunde: alright;i am sorry for hurting you and for hurting her also. am really sorry
Desmond: am also sorry for fighting you and for also making you angry. am i forgiven
Tunde: of cause are you not my brother?
Desmond: if i am not;who will(they both hug) i really missed your friendship
Tunde: i missed it also and all thanks goes to our uncle for taking the step to bring us together
Johnson: is alright;am glad you both are together again. anyways your cousin is coming
Desmond: i can't wait to meet him,i know he is all grown up now
Tunde: it is really be long
Johnson: don't worry when he comes i will ask my driver to bring him to your house
Desmond: thanks sir;i think we should be on our way
Johnson: alright you can go but be good
Tunde: we will. bye sir


Anita: hello Tunde
Tunde: hi(he smiled)
Anita: was going on?it seems you have a good day today
Tunde: am happy and i want to apologies to you for been so mad at your friend and for talking so rudely to you
Anita: now i know the real Tunde is back. welcome back
Stephanie: Anita
Anita: yes baby
Stephanie: sorry i didn't realise you were talking to him. excuse me
Anita: (to Tunde) don't you want to talk to her?
Tunde: i really want to but .....
Anita: don't worry just say something she will forgive you
Tunde: Stephanie
Stephanie: what?did you want to insult me again or hit me?which one of them,do you want to do?
Tunde: none of them;sorry,am really a bad boy to have hurt you so deep to say those words to you without hearing you out
Stephanie: it doesn't make any difference because you said them all and you can never turn back the hand of time
Tunde: i wish i could take it back to the first day we met at the library
Stephanie: if i were you i will stop thinking of the impossible and for me,if am able to turn back time;i would had erase the mistake of meeting you in the library and when i accept your brother stupid proposal because i hate you both and i hate him more
Anita: baby;that is too harsh
Tunde: let her;i deserve it
Stephanie: i don't really care about your feelings because it is all because of you;i lost everything that are dear to me
Anita: why don't you forgive him?
Stephanie: never(she turn to leave)
Tunde: if you decide not to forgive me;i understand cause am a stupid boy(he screamed on top his voice)everyone look at me,what kind of a boy will assault a girl in public,will inflict physical and emotional pain a girl?is he not senseless?yes he is and that is what i am because those are the things i did. i acknowledge you all to beg her to forgive me(he knee before her)
Stephanie: was wrong with you?will you stop?you are embarrassing me and please stand up
Tunde: will you forgive me
Stephanie: stand up
Tunde: i will not until you forgive me
Anita: please forgive him
Stephanie: fine i forgive you and am also sorry
Tunde: you forgive but does that mean we are okay now
Stephanie: yes we are
Tunde: thank you very much
Anita: thanks Stephanie
Stephanie: is nothing
Tunde: will you come to my place tomorrow
Stephanie: does that involve also
Anita: don't start
Stephanie: don't worry;i will pay you a visit bit not tomorrow
Tunde: when
Stephanie: maybe the day after tomorrow
Tunde: really
Stephanie: yes
Tunde: that will be great;i will go ahead now and thanks Anita

Anita: i am glad you two has made up. is just left with you and Tina
Stephanie: i doubt if both of us can be friends especially now that we don't live in same house
Anita: come off it,you and Tunde don't live in same apartment but you forgive him
Stephanie: don't worry i will forgive her eventually but not now. come on lets go to my house
Anita: no way;you promise you will visit me today. so lets go to mine
Stephanie: fine i will but i am not spending the night there
Anita: no problem;shall we go

Tosan: oh my God!after so many weeks you decided to visit us again
Ann: i really missed you;i thought you don't like us anymore
Stephanie: why won't i? you did me no wrong. so how is life
Tosin: life is fine the way you left us
Tina: Stephanie;how are you(no answer)how are you doing?
Stephanie: Anita;so how is Ayo
Anita: he is fine
Tina: don't you want to talk to me
Stephanie: excuse me;i want to use the rest room
Tosan: are you sure
Stephanie: of cause
Tina: i know you are mad at me because of what i did. i make you live outside this house am sorry
Stephanie: did you even know you hurt me?you made me live all by myself when you know am scared of living alone and the dark but all thanks to you i learn to deal with my fear
Tina: i am so sorry;i was so mad at you because i thought you and Tunde are in love with each other. am scared that Tunde might leave me for you
Stephanie: i thought you are in love with Desmond
Tina: i was but not anymore because Desmond is in love with you
Anita: there you go again
Tina: but you know i am saying the truth
Stephanie: naught you;but he is not in love with me,he has a girlfriend now
Tina: who told you that
Stephanie: i saw him kissing a girl at the walkway the other day
Tosan: what?i don't believe it. he can only do that with you
Stephanie: Tosan
Tosan: what?
Stephanie: nothing but your believing it or not is the fact
Anita: is alright
Tina: do you forgive me
Stephanie: of cause;i do missed you big time and your troubles
Tina: and i missed those time we spend on same bed
Stephanie: and i missed everyone
Ann: we all missed you
Stephanie: am glad we are friends again
Anita: i am happy that everyone is reconciling with one another. it seems today is a good day cause Tunde and Stephanie as also mend their differences
Tina: really?am so excited
Ann: that means you all should go their place tomorrow
Stephanie: but i will have to go home and come back tomorrow
Anita: you don't have to go;i will give you my clothes
Stephanie: then where will i sleep
Tina: you will sleep in our room
Stephanie: do i still have room in this house
Tina: of cause
Tosan: come on;lets have a group hug
Anita: sure we can(curtain)

Tosin: Tunde;this one you are smiling and you said you want to treat us;what is going on?
Tunde: don't worry;you will soon find out
Desmond: i hope is something good
Tunde: yes now;don't you trust your brother
Desmond: i do
Alfred: i am so happy that you are back to your real self
Ayo: let me guess what is making him happy
Desmond: that Dan is coming
Tunde: is it today
Desmond: yes;if you don't remember then why are you happy?(bell ringing)it should be him
Brown: let me get the door
Tosin: alright ma(enter Dan)
Brown: come on in. you must be Danesmond's cousin
Dan: sure ma;i have heard a lot about you
Brown: i hope is something good
Dan: sure ma
Tunde: i can't believe my eyes that you are this grown up
Dan: look at who is talking
Desmond: my main man;take it(he shake him and hug him)i missed you big time
Dan: i missed you too little brother(bell ringing) are you expecting someone else
Brown: let me get the door
Tunde: dont worry aunt;i will get the door
Dan: big brother is your girlfriend coming
Alfred: maybe cause he is so excited
Tunde: i don't blame you two
Tosin: welcome to our humble home
Dan: thank you;you are Alfred and you are Ayo right?but i don't know you(to Tosin)so what is your name?
Desmond: he is Tosin my friend
Dan: i like that name Tosin;you all are enjoying yourself
Brown: here is a cup of juice
Dan: thanks ma(enter all girls) whoa!did you guys want me to pick a girls?is this like some kind of blind date?
Ayo: naught you
Tunde: yes;go ahead and pick a girl
Dan: are you sure?if i pick your girlfriend don't be mad at me
Tunde: no problem;i can always leave her for you
Dan: alright;i pick the one on gown,the slim tall one(pointing to Stephanie)
Brown: Stephanie(Desmond rise his head up)long time;how have you been?you didn't bothered asking after me
Stephanie: i am sorry ma;i was so busy and am also sorry that i did not call
Brown: is alright;you all are welcome
Tina: thanks ma
Alfred: what is going on here?is it that you guys are fine now;as in you and....
Stephanie: yes;i and Tunde as settle our differences and we are friends now
Desmond: what?(he screamed)
Alfred: what do you mean by what?
Desmond: is nothing excuse me(he walked away)
Dan: was wrong with him?
Tosin: we don't know
Dan: so you are my cousin girlfriend
Tina: who is your cousin?
Dan: Tunde(she laughed)was the laughter?
Tunde: she is not my girlfriend;Tina is my girlfriend. this is Anita;Ayo's girlfriend
Anita: nice meeting you
Alfred: this Ann my girlfriend
Dan: you two look good together
Ann: thank you
Tosin: and this is my girlfriend Tosan
Dan: whoa!nive name combination Tosan and Tosin
Tosan: you are funny. anyway is my pleasure meeting you
Dan: the pleasure is all mins
Tunde: so you see we are forming our own small family here
Dan: what about the young lady i pick?who is her boyfriend and you didn't introduce her to me?
Ayo: you already know her name
Dan: if you don't want to introduce her to me;then i will introduce her to you all
Tina: fine;go ahead and introduce her
Dan: everyone meet my love Stephie(laughed all) whats funny
Tunde: you are digging your own grave
Dan: how am i digging my own grave?is she Desmond girlfriend?just tell me i don't want to get a share of his punch.
Stephanie: no
Dan: that means i am free to
Tosan: why did you asked
Dan: i was thinking she is because of Desmond reaction and when that brother of mine is angry doesn't respect anyone. anyway where is that boy
Ayo: he should be outside

Alfred: i am so glad everyone of us are amending our problem
Tina: yes
Dan: where is that small boy
Tunde: i think he should be outside or in his room
Dan: alright;i will just go and look for him
Ann: i am famish;i need food
Stephanie: go to the kitchen and get yourself one
Ann: i will

Brown: Desmond
Desmond: ma(he wiped his tears)
Brown: what are you doing outside
Desmond: nothing;i just want fresh air
Brown: even when you know you have visitors
Desmond: i don't have visitors;the only visitor i have is my brother Dan
Brown: then go and keep him company
Desmond: i don't want to go
Brown: is it because of Stephanie(he laughed)
Desmond: am done with her both of us can never be friends in this life
Brown: why?
Desmond: nothing ma;don't worry;i will just go ahead and join them
Brown: alright
Dan: hey buddy;i did look for you in your room but i couldn't find you. come on join us
Desmond: alright;this food is delicious
Dan: yes;it is can't you see i am enjoying it
Ayo: baby do you want anything
Anita: no
Stephanie: Tunde;please help me with a glass
Tunde: here it is
Stephanie: thanks
Tina: Tunde;why not give her beef
Tunde: do you want
Stephanie: sure;you know i won't say no
Tunde: you know i like beef and you Tina;you want to set me up
Tina: no
Tunde: brother why dont you give her yours;i know you prefer chicken to beef
Desmond: sure you can have it Stephie
Stephanie: no thanks
Anita: i thought you said you want beef
Stephanie: i said i want but not Desmond's own
Ann: Stephanie
Stephanie: what?
Anita: what is wrong with you
Stephanie: nothing
Desmond: even if you don't want to collect mine. you don't have to make it so obvious;excuse me
Alfred: i thought you two have mend your differences
Stephanie: i don't have any issues with him,i just don't want his beef
Brown: i don't know you to me a bad girl(to Stephanie)and rude one at that but now you have turn into something else. i really don't know you anymore
Stephanie: i am sorry ma(exit Brown)
Dan: yes;what you did was bad even though i haven't meet you before now;i can still see that you are not a bad person. excuse me;i need to talk to my brother
Stephanie: am i a bad person;Alfred?
Alfred: not at all
Stephanie: can you be truthful to me for once
Alfred: yes;i am being truthful
Stephanie: if you say so am fine by it;i don't really care about Desmond's feelings
Alfred: you really have to open your heart to forgive him even if he hurt you so deep;you still get to hurt him by telling everyone the truth about you two,you indirectly called him an incompetent man not man enough to a girl and a deceit
Stephanie: i know what i did was wrong but...
Alfred: you don't have to explain that to me. you have to do it to him
Stephanie: is alright then;i hope he is not going to get mad at me
Alfred: he will not
Stephanie: alright excuse me
Tunde: i enjoy my day today especially with Dan
Desmond: he is gone;I wish i could spend more time with him
Tunde: i wish so too;the time is just too short
Stephanie: what is going on Tunde?where is your brother?
Tunde: nothing and my brother Dan is gone
Stephanie: alright
Desmond: i will just leave you two
Stephanie: no you don't have to go,i want to talk to you
Desmond: what about?
Tunde: excuse me
Stephanie: thank you
Tunde: you welcome;anything for you
Stephanie: please sit
Desmond: what you have to say you can as well say it while i am standing. in fact get out;i don't want to talk to you (he pushed her and she fall to the floor)
Stephanie: do you have to hurt me?if you don't want to talk to me;fine here is your bracelet you gave to me,it was the most important gift from you to me because you gave it to me when we became friends. this is our friendship symbol if can't be friends then no need keeping it. goodbye forever
Desmond: is it that it is always easy for you to turn your back at me,to push me outside;to annoyed me and even make me feel like i am nothing in front of everyone?



SEE MORE.....



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Little Akpos
goes to his
sister's room
and picks up
something.
His sister tells
him to give it
back, she
wants to keep
it as a souvenir.
He asks her
'what it is'.
She says, "it's
a donut."
Then Akpos says,
"give me fifty
cents and i will give u back."
Akpos gives
her the used
condom, and
his sister gives
him 50 cents.
He goes to the
kitchen with a
big smile on his
face, and his
mom asks him
why he's
smiling.
He says, "My
sister gave me
fifty cents for
a donut, but I
already licked
out all the
custard!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-12 17:20:34

545 Views



Perfect answer [Read it]


TEACHER: Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat,
don't sell drugs. Can someone tell us why we
shouldn't do these things?
AKPOS: Because the government hates
competition!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-27 09:11:08

513 Views




Tomorrow there will be a Fight between my Teachers.

Guess Why?

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.

.

.

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.

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.

Ans. Because Tomorrow is GURU WAR.(Thursday) xDRelated

Wezzy.bm
Worst english ever
spoken
(1) Don't dare talk in front of my back.
(2) Stop making noise like empty sardine tin of milk.
(3) Take 5cm wire of my length.
(4)All of you stand in a straight circle.
(5)Be quiet...... the principal just passing away
(6) I have 3daughters, they are all girls
(7) Did you see me on the radio
(Both of the 3 of you get out of my class
(9) The sons of the man is a boy
(10) This is your permanent place, sit here for the main time.
(11) Take the lead and follow me.
(12) I would rather kill myself than commit suicide.
(13) She is a boy
(14) I saw you last night early morning.
(15) Why shy I shy, am I a children?
Add yours and let's catch fun!




NAIRAJOKES.COM







2017-02-15 21:09:17

449 Views




How To Make Women Obsess Over You

My heary desire [Read it]


Session 1 episode 6
I was running from no where to no where but I can see some wild animals and humans chasing me I manage to killed two but still they are chasing me, I've my leg Boot help me, before I realized, I've destroyed them all. Later one of them who manage to run away tells me to be careful with girls I will meet, I asked why he tells me the one who will help me out will be the one looking for my down fall , " you are blessed with female hand but others will be jealous, if you are not smart girl will kill you" he added before I realized, Peter my room mate and some friends of mine are laughing at me loudly which Annoyed me.
Peter: So you don't know early bird catches the worm?
Me: Which type of life style is this
Lapon: Hip life, so you are still dreaming at this time of the day?
Me: What's wrong with you guys?
Peter: Tell us whom are you chatting with because we over heard you saying something.
Lapon: Yesterday Rose asked of you in the evening when you went to bed
Me: What's the message about?
Lapon: Are you dating that girl?
Me: Excuse me
All: Laugh
I went and took care of myself and took my direction to the garden
I was doing my morning work when Rose passed by to greet me under tone, I also do the same about five minutes later on she returned asking me if I saw her message yesterday?
Me: Something like that
Rose: And you couldn't reply
Me: Credit
Rose: Okay evening time
She went home
After she went I started thinking of the dream, could this be real? Hmmm I finished my duty and head home, straight I went to inform Emma one of my friends about the new girl, I've searched my eyes on,
Emma was just living some steps away from my house, his is leaving in a farm house we all work before
Emma: Charley how far now?
Me: "I dey ooo"
Emma: I've just planned to visit you this evening Cox you will be going to work
Me: "Yh I dey way I think say make I come spy you"
Emma: "Okay, this guy too dey rone girls for the wood paaaaa oo"
( he was referring to a young man warrior, who was by passing with a young girl)
Warrior is dark in complexion, short, has a body of a man.
Me: Why?
Emma: Yesterday I saw him and Rose, going home,
(my heart miss a beats)
Me: Which Rose?
Emma: The one opposite your farm
( he was referring to my Rose)
Me: "Eeeeiii (in my mind I do yawa)"
Emma: That girl I thought she is different and decent but hmmm
Me: That is what I thought also
Emma: She must be a snake under grass
Me: Charley!!;!!!
Emma: Most of time I used to see Warrior with her mum ( Rose mum) at the road side charting maybe that women and her kids has something with him
Me: Aaaaasaahhhhh I see ( nodding my heard in agreement )
Emma : Why ?
Me: No ( I lied)
Emma: Today too the same
Me: "The girl do me yawa"
Emma: What happened she has your money
Me: Which money?
Emma : I know you don't have anything with girls so what is that yawa she do?
Me: Man you can't understand
Emma: Or Peter clear'am?
Me: For where
Emma: So what is it at all?
Me: Hmmmm my heart
Emma: "Eeeeii you Ron am?"
Me: Charley just some few days ago when I crossed her and formatted her
Emma: Are you joking? Cox I knew you are not like that
Me: Ah why? So you expect me to stay like this?
Emma: Noooo
Me: Then am I a Roma father
Emma: That's a rhetorical question for me
Me: So you guys are enjoying still want me to stay like this?
Emma: Enjoymenti?
Me: Yeah
Emma: Sorry for you but when you impregnate be ready to face the out come
Me:Which outcome tonder fire you
Emma:Hahahaha accept my condolences
Me: Who die?
Emma: Sorry
Me: Anyway please let mean serious what should I do now
Emma: It means.......
Me: Yeah
Emma: You met her
Me: Yeah
Emma: Proposed her
Me: Yeah
Emma : She accepted your request
Me: Yeah
Emma: Now how did you start the process let me hear it
Me: Please if you will be making fun of me then let me go
Emma: Ooo why you vex?
Me: You are not correct, am going next time
Emma: Wait wait wait what did you have for me
Me: ( I didn't mind him)
Emma: Okay let wait small and see something
Me: What is that things sometimes is wrong today you are asking me to wait again
Emma: You love this girl or you Rove her
Me: Please oooo
Emma: Okay am serious now,
Me: Okay
Emma: I used to see them mostly
Me: Eeeeeeiiiiiii!!!!;
Emma Please stop repeating that part okay got straight to yours point ( Emma is someone who advised me most but sometimes make fun of me)
Emma: You ask her how they are related? If she ask you why just tell her nothing you just wanted to know their relation that is all
Me: And if she said they are family?
Emma: We have to investigate
Me: What of friendship
Emma: Then you do yawa really
After discussing with him I left home with a sad face why Some girls are dangerous oo telling me I'm her first date but see what is going on. Anyway it's a game, either I loose or win apart from that draw game (but am I playing game? Am I a player?) ( what I hate in life a guy dating two or more girls at the same time, perhaps is not dating that is game)
Reaching home Peter was happy singing I didn't bother to know the source of his happiness because I was disappointed or ( isn't a broke heart hahaha lol)
I reach the room sorting my things I heard a female melodic voice behind our window, I quickly check out to my surprise WOW a sexy young girl I quickly run out of the room to see well, my people says "Wolea Ru deta haa wo kpea dzo" meaning, ' You can be at a gas filling station but you can light you pipe or cigarette, either im disappointed this can make me smile checking her front axel ( breast) very attractive wow and going back to the back axel ( b**b) I lost my memory I find it difficult to swallow my saliva she is so beautiful to the extent that not I can describe
Even if care is not taken you will leave your girlfriend for her.
She is a new come to our house because I've never seen her before
I went to Peter 's mum to find information about her,
I was told
Her name is Sena a black beautiful . She is the daughter of a relative living in the house with us, their room is just adjacent to our room, you could hear one voice when talking in his room but we don't breath the same air Cox of some misunderstanding between our mums, but since she has a beautiful daughter what did you think we will do?
In the evening Peter manage to put a bench under a bulb light which is under our window near Sena's room gate he was there without going out that even,
After I've finished with my usual things I got out of the house,mostly Peter used to go out when I'm in the house but today everything changed
Peter: Where are you doing out to?
Me: Looking for a date
Peter: Good luck
I went out standing on the main gate watching those passing by unfortunately for me Sena, she came out of the house leading to a nearby store after getting her things bought she turned (I'm still standing there as a traffic jam)
Sena : Are you also in this house?
TBC


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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My virgin story Episode 1 by Horlarminleykanrn
Email [email protected]

Episodes:

A guy went to see his friend and found
his friend playing chess with his dog. VISITOR: Jimmy, you are playing chess
with your dog. JIMMY: Yes, we play a lot of games
together. VISITOR: This dog must be a genius! JIMMY: Not at all. Out of ten games, the
dog won three while I won the rest.
#BOLLY_SMART™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-12 10:27:25

462 Views




David rolled again on the big bed,curling up at
one end to see if sleep would welcome him into
it’s soothing arms.
He kept still expecting it to come but it never
came.Not even a shadow of that blessing called
sleep did he see.
He knew for certain that there was no way sleep
can take him away in his thoughts.
He was thinking,thinking about Sonia but trying
to convince himself that it was his dear Angela
he was thinking of.
He fought those thoughts but they persisted.
He found it strange how Sonia filled up his
mind,heart and thoughts. They have lived for
quite a longtime and he never felt like this
before.He wondered if it could be because of
the fact that Angela was not around.
He shook his head negatively. That was not the
first time Angela left the house without
returning for few days.
Of course the poor girl was a maid,employed to
help out with the household chores; he never
saw any need of thinking about her when he
had Angela but tonight he just couldn’t
understand what was happening.
He had called Angela on the phone few minutes
ago and they gisted and laughed for sometime
before bidding each other goodnight but
still,the beautiful image of Sonia couldn’t get
out of his mind.
It was as if someone held her picture to his face
for him to see and he was trying to push it
away but the person holding it refused letting
go.Just like when someone tells you to shut
your eyes and think about other things apart
from him;surely,you must think about that
person and try not to.
A memory flashed into his mind.It was that day
Sonia showed up when he was watching a
football match. He remembered the way she
had appeared and how lovely she looked.
Another memory that got him up on his feet
was when he saw her sleeping in her room with
everything that made her a woman open for
him to see. He equally remembered when she
stood up and the bedspread fell down. He
pictured her fair,elegant and inviting
bossom,her tempting curves and shapes.
He swallowed hard and made for the door as
the whole incident kept replaying in his head.
He headed towards her room,though he didn’t
know what he was going there to do but he felt
like beholding her face physically;perhaps,it
could help cure this new sickness of his.
He walked lazily until he arrived at her door.He
reasoned within him that it would be a
disturbance if he called her name at that time
of the night without any solid reason.
He tried opening the door quietly to just steal a
look at her and then go back in peace but it
was locked. He rested against the door and
muttered something under his breath.
He finally made up his mind to knock. He
knocked gently the first time,no answer.
When he tried again,he heard Sonia’s calm
voice from within,demanding to know whom it
was.
“I’m the one”David’s voice was weak.
Sonia jumped down from the bed and adjusted
her pyjamas.Her eyes went up to the clock
hanging on the wall.
It was 10:50pm
Soon,Ebere’s voice was heard on the phone.
“What is it? Two days. 48 hours left.The clock is
ticking…….”
Sonia started coughing for the fear of David
hearing a single thing until it was muted.
She took the phone and made for the door.
She opened the door and found David standing
there helplessly.

>>

Santa asks his angry wife for sex.

Jeeto: Fuck off, I don’t want to see your face.

Santa: Neither do I. Let’s do it DOGGY style!Related

Alok Nath goes to a medical store to buy condom.

Salesman : Which flavor?

Alok Nath: Haldi Chandon!Related

1. Tell your girlfriend "I LOVE YOU". She will say "I LOVE YOU TOO".
2. Tell her " I MISS YOU". She will say "I MISS YOU TOO".
3. Tell her " I love you soo much". She will say "I love you more and more".
4. Now tell her " Am sending you #10,000 on your Mobile money".

Walai if she says am sending you too more, I will leave Nigeria. Loº°??°ºo lllll


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-26 13:42:07

867 Views



18 [Read it]



Marital Sex is not a Sin!
Never Permit Your Husband To Sleep Around Other Women.
He’s Only Permitted To Sleep Around You!
Never allow his Secretary to take your Position!
Give Him Enough Sex!
.
Dress Seductively for your
Husband!
If you are Alone in the house put on Skimpy Dresses, Sexy Underwears; Dress to kill him at home before a Strange Woman kills him Outside!
.
Stop tying Wrapper round your
Waist, it makes you look like a Village Woman!
Dress up in Front of Him!
Walk Naked in front of him!
He is your husband for God Sake!
Don’t be Ashamed to Flirt with
Your Husband!
.
Bath Together!
Eat Together!
Play Together!
Get involved in Kissing, Massaging, Fondling!
Make it a habit to Sleep without Panties except during Menstruation.
.
Invite him for a Sex filled Night!
Tell him you will Win Him
In Bed today!
Make it a habit to communicate with him about your Sex Life!
Be creative!
Do different Sex Styles that’s Convenient for both of
you!
It is not a sin!
.
Appreciate him as you make
Love together.
Never keep quiet as if your Mouth is a Pad Lock!
Don’t lie down like a Dead
wood and tell him to hurry up!
No man will love to have a”bedroom failure” as a wife!
.
Enjoy Your Marriage !!
.
DO ALL OF YOU SUPPORT ME?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-28 12:24:17

795 Views



Mtn no b fool [Read it]


These is a new cheat on mtn with #70 u will get 20gb and 1500 just followed the instruction dial *419*1# u will receive the sms that says.
*dear u are a criminal did u think that we mtn are mumu u want to get 20gb and 1500 with #70 did u think we b mumu na ur papa open am.
See u just busy they read this


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-07 23:27:44

580 Views




word from mc olu sustain
1. IF YOU DON’T SEE YOURSELF AS A WINNER, THEN YOU CANNOT PEFORM AS A WINNERa. 2. A BIG HEAD WITH AN EMPTY BRAIN IS A BIG LOAD TO THE NECK.
3. IF YOU ARE HAPPY WITH SOMEONE, THEN WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE WILL SAY?
4. DIFFICULT ROADS OFTEN LEADS TO A BEAUTIFUL DESTINATION. TOUGH TIMES DON’T LAST BUT TOUGH PEOPLE DO.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-15 23:38:24

187 Views




Bob, a 50 year old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone’s socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm. She hangs on Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word.


His buddies at the club are all envious. They corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?”


Bob replies, “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!”


They’re knocked over, but continue to ask. “So, how’d you persuade her to marry you?”


Bob says, “I lied about my age.”


His friends are fascinated, “What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 30?”


Bob smiles and says, “No, I told her I was 70.”Related

????: ???? ???? [Read it]


????: ???? ???? ??????? ?? ??? ??!
???? ?? ???? ?? ?????? ???? ??? ?? ???? ????, ???? ?? ??? ?? ???? ??!Related

On the road back home, we pamper our bellies by
grabbing a bite at MovenPick. We finish eating
then we take our leave. At home, we fall aimlessly
on the couch together in the sitting room. We
stretch our frazzled bodies but the shrieking
sound of my BB ringtone interrupt me. I check to see the caller ID. It is my best friend ‘Askaline’
whom we both purchased the University forms at
the same time. I answer the call.
“How are you doing Askaline?”
“MM, I am good. Guess what?” Askaline says
“What is it? You know I am not good at guesses” “The admission lists is released online and have
checked our names”
“And” I barely could wait for her to spill the beans
“We are both selected for our dream course”
I scream my lungs out and throw the phone on
the couch, hopping and happy with the news, my mother asked, “What’s the matter, why are you
happy?”
“Mother, I just got admitted into University of
Ghana and I am given my rightful course”. Mother
also gets happy as she hugs me out of
excitement. I have forgotten Askaline was still on the line, I grab my phone “Hello! Hello!” But she
already hung up.
I grab my I-book to check the admission list of
students via online. How do I feel? One word;
ecstatic! One of my problems has been resolved. I
continue frisking the admission list as it is too slow in loading the whole list of students of a
school like University of Ghana but alas! it finally
pop up.
I see my name; MERISSA MENSAH
Programme Study; BIOCHEMISTRY.
I quickly ditch the laptop and grab my BB. I make a voice note to Askaline that I am so happy for
sharing this wonderful news with me first and she
is my BFF.
In the evening, while chatting with my Dad, I
break the news to him. He is happy for me but not
quite as he had reservations and warned me several times about the educational system of
Ghana and he had given me a wonderful
opportunity to study abroad in any University my
heart so desire. But I have always declined his
offer on the grounds that I am an adult now and I
can choose to study where ever I want. I just want to have a feel of studying in this city which is
otherwise known for hustling and bustling town.
Perhaps after my undergrads, I can choose to
have my Masters in Oxford. My dad understood as
he saw my point of view but he is only concern
that I might not be used to the system here. Briefly some days later, my dad is on point; he
sends about 4,000 pounds to cater for everything.
I know you probably might think the money is
hell too much but wait, I will show you how I’ll
do justice to that; from registration and paying of
school fees, shopping for new clothes, shoes and bag. I need to be around the campus so I’ll opt
for hostel accommodation with Pentagons.
Askaline can’t afford this ilk of hostels so I kinda
want for her to be my roomie and this also calls
for furniture, carpet, microwave, gas-cooker,
fridge, LED TV. Whew! Just to mention a few, you can see after all these, I should go back for
reimbursement but I am not that kind of a spoilt
child you think I am. I am responsible and
accountable for my own actions.
My motion is finally answered. My parents have
decided to let me drive the Range Rover Evoque. Yay! My prayers are been answered but the most
tops is still left behind. Hmm! My dream man, I
allow my fantasy to take the best of me. Askaline
is here to pay me a visit and we just sit and bite
and ramble about our days in school would be
like. She is happy for my doll as we took it for a spin across Spintex road to the Accra mall to
watch a movie at the Silverbird cinema.
Resumption date is finally here. We pack our bags
and move to the campus to begin our learning
process. I have no experience when it comes to
Africa education so my expectation is high even forgoing the warnings from my folks of the
increase deprivation in basic materials and
lecturers’ salaries which seldom leads them to go
on strike demonstration but in any case my
enduring anxiety still wants me to be in Ghana.
In no time, we make our way to the Hostel and offload our baggage from the car.
Askaline bags are not that much as mine. Let me
tell you more about my friend. She is quite the
opposite of me. I am fair, she is dark; I am svelte,
she is plump and also our views are always
different. Askaline is studying Psychology and Journalism. She always put me in check if I am
crossing the line and she is very good with
questions.
Anytime she switches to her journalism mode, I
get irritated with her questions. Askaline’s mother
is a single parent. She has brought her up from childbirth till now and she is a very close friend to
my moms.
Lectures begin and the more we go for classes,
the more we acquaint ourselves with our new
environment and the bye-laws of the school. I
make friends with men which some proposed to me and some get to be my true friends. I just
don’t like the men that are after me. Can you
imagine? I drive a Range Rover Sport and they
drive with their legs. How are we compatible?
Askaline and I make a new friend name Shantel;
her fair skin and body is perfect. She has seen her slim body to be her asset so she does modeling
jobs from time to time to support herself through
school. Of course she has parents but her needs
are a long one which her parents obviously
couldn’t satisfy. She studies Media and
Communications. Her dream has always been to broadcast news for a popular TV station and aim
higher to work with BBC or CNN whichever comes
first (She always say).
ONE AFTERNOON…
The 3 of us, we are at this TYM-OUT Restaurant
and this random dude walks to our table and utter his awful breathe to ask if he can join us.
Shantel replies “But you’ve
already joined us, how may we help you Mr.?”
“My name is Kofi”
While he speaks, I ransack him with my eyes
judging his tawdry, faded clothes, shoe and phone. But he isn’t an inch close to my
touchstone, he holds a Samsung chat
phone, his beard is unkempt. He continues by
saying…
“I have 3 tickets to the Samini Concert and
wondering if you ladies would love to go with me.”
“What do you take us for, your call girl that you
can just call and hire?” I chastise him.
The whole scenario is ignominious on my sight
and we really hope the news wouldn’t spread that
we associate with people like his ilk. Kofi leaves the table looking
mortified while his friends watch from afar and
mimic the whole scenario and mock him to a
pulp.
As we sip our cocktails, Shantel pops the question
“Should we go to the Samini concert?” Askaline rolls her eyes, “Those shows are for the
locals.”
I sit very well and clear my throat. “We shall go to
the Chris Brown ‘HOPE’ Concert next week and I
will purchase the VIP ticket. You should trust me, I
got it all covered” The girls showers me with accolades.

>>

He gracefully took a seat beside her. “I’m here for you, baby.” He leaned closer to her. “Hmm. You smell nice.”

Purity giggled. “You like me already?” She believed she was in full control of herself. Acting like she’s desperate was going to be fun. The fun was going to increase when she’d break his heart. Hurt him real bad.

“I do.” He was curious about this girl. This bar, he’d always visited and knew almost all the customers there. But this face, he had never seen before. She looked pure and innocent, why was she here? Her look was in direct contrast with the way she spoke. “Are you alone?”

“Yes, I’m all alone.” She emphasized. Making progress in her plan; she turned to face her drink. “Would you like some?”

He smiled. “I’d love to. I can never refuse such a pretty angel.”

“Bring more drinks!” She said to the waiter. “Since he’s taking his time, lets share mine. Please, come closer.” She folded her right palm and let only her index finger stand. She moved it front and back, urging him to move closer to her. She gave an innocent smile and giggled.

That was a bold step. How many girls are this outspoken? She wasn’t shy, she told him wat she wanted and didn’t feel guilty about it. Very different from her angelic look. Maybe she was, or the influence of alcohol? She doesn’t look like one drunk. Without much contemplation, he pulled his seat close to hers. “Its my turn to drink.” He took hold of the bottle and swallowed its content in one gulp.

Purity was impressed. “That was good. Very good.” She leaned to him and inhaled his cologne. Their faces were inches apart.

He wanted to taste her lips. He already had a little taste of it from the bottle. Those red lips. He loved danger. His pushed his head forward. To his utter dismay, she pulled hers back.

“No, no,” she used her fingers to caution him. “Its too early for that. Lets drink away our sorrows and unhappiness.” She handed him a bottle.

Sorrow. Then, she was sad, he mused. That’s the reason she’s here. He was going to know why and try to help her. “What’s your name? I’m Ernest, Ernest Turner.”

“I don’t give my name to strangers.” Purity chuckled. “That name- Ernest sounds nice. Hope you are earnest?” She asked rhetorically.

He held her hand and kissed it tenderly. He was glad she didn’t object. “I’m no stranger to you. We’re friends already.” He moved his fingers over her arm and loved her soft, smooth skin.

Purity didn’t flinch. She enjoyed every bit of it. A smile touched the corners of her mouth. “What name sounds so sweet that men would love to hear?” She never intended to give him her real name.

He continued touching her hand. “I don’t know. Um….. Something like Kaylee would do the trick.”

“Nope. Call me Melisa.” She took her hand back from him.

“Melisa. What are you doing in a place like this? What brought you here?” his curiosity had not dwindled.

“Forget about that. Lets enjoy ourselves.” She held up a bottle and took a sip. Deep within her, she didn’t want to take another drink. It was enough, all okay for her to carry out her mischievous plan. She always had her way and it should work well for her this time. She pretended to be emptying her bottles.

Ernest wasn’t smart enough to notice that. He really wanted this girl at all cost and was ready to do anything she asked. He drank and enjoyed watching the people dance.

They kept drinking- of course, Purity was faking it. Suddenly, Ernest grabbed her and pressed his body against her. “Melisa, I want you to kiss me, now.”

She wasn’t impressed, didn’t like that. “Hey! Let go!” She ordered. “That’s not how to treat a lady.” She frowned.

He instantly released her. “I’m sorry. How are you feeling?”

“Bad.” She confessed.

“I know what will make you feel good.”

That made her alive again. “I want to know.”

“Good.” Ernest requested for more drinks and placed them before her. “All these would make you feel better.”

Purity shrugged. “I don’t want to.”

“You have to.” he persuaded her. “Let me feed you.” He gave a grin.

She agreed and opened her much for him. It really felt good as the chilled drink slid down her throat. He was right.

“How does it feel?”

She closed her eyes and smiled. “Sweet.”

“Have more, my Melisa.” he smirked.

Ernest fed her till she was drunk, really drunk. Purity didn’t know what she was doing anymore. She felt her head spinning, she was unable to think clearly, she felt dizzy as well. She had no idea what was happening to her or around her. She had stopped taking in more drinks from Ernest. She kept to herself and was muttering incoherent words.

Smiling to himself, Ernest decided to take advantage of the situation. “Why are you here?”

She belched loudly and continued talking to herself. “They left me, they betrayed me. They made me feel bad. All because of guys. What’s with them? They come to play with my friends feelings and they’ve separated us.” She had a worried expression on her face. “Papa is not like that. He loves mama a lot. But he’s so controlling,” She scoffed, “He never lets me do what I want. And my brothers, so, so crazy, always making me feel like a child. I’m-”

“Melisa,” Ernest called sweetly interrupting her. He turned her face to him. “What are you saying? Stop talking to yourself, share it with me.”

Purity looked at him in disgust. A whitish substance flew from her mouth and landed on his face, his left eye. “I hate you. Just leave me alone!”

He couldn’t understand what she just did. “Why did you spit on me? And you hate me? Its not possible. What wrong have I done?” He wiped it off his eye.

“You and all your kind. You are all manipulative. You mock people, control their lives and take their feelings for granted. I hate you all. Males, boys, men – you all take advantage of women. You ruin their lives.”

He understood it all. She was opening up, telling him what made her come to drink. Someone hurt her and now, she doesn’t want to have anything to do with men. He had to know more. “I agree with you. They’re heartless.”

Now, that surprised her. He took her side or what? Her head, she wasn’t thinking straight. “I don’t have friends. They took my friends from me. They don’t have respect for me. They are stupid.”

“Come on, Melisa. Forget about them, hate them, never want to be with any of them. But always remember me. I will take care of you. Will be your friend, respect you and your feelings.” She could be innocent. She was drowning away her misery in alcohol. He was gonna help her do that.

“You won’t,” her voice had changed. The alcohol had taken its effect. It sank deep into her. Her eyes became watery and the tears freely fell. “Its all lies -”

“Stop it.” He took a bottle. “Have more, you won’t feel a pain. You will feel very good. They won’t hurt you anymore. I’m here.”

Purity took the bottle from him and drank it all. It seemed to take all her problems away. She grinned from ear to ear.

The music had changed. It was hip-hop and the lights grew dim. The dance floor was flooded with people- men and women, boys and girls. It was a fun night, Ernest really wanted to join them. “Melisa, lets dance away our pains.” He jumped off his seat and helped her down.

She staggered as he pulled her to the dance floor. The music was hitting her ear drums, driving her crazy. The entire place twirled in her eyes, the world was dancing. It excited her. She wanted to join them. She wanted fun. She isn’t abnormal nor old fashioned.

Her feet went off the ground and landed, it continued that way at intervals. She raised her hands to the ceiling and waved her head. Her body shook, her hips swayed this way and that. She was flowing with the music, following the crowd, feeling good. It was pleasurable.

Ernest joined and followed her dance steps. Soon enough, they were exhausted. Ernest tried planting a kiss on her lips again. He missed, she gave him her right cheek. He kissed, licked and sucked it. He went for her neck and playfully bit her.

She moaned roughly.

He so much loved that sound. He took her to a corner and continued playing with her body. He wanted to sleep with her. And have her forever. In her drunken state, she’d not have the power to resist him. He gave an evil grin.
*
*
*
“Yes, he tried to sleep with me. He almost had his way because I was so drunk. But then, he raised my gown and touched me, touched where he’s never supposed to touch. I don’t know what came over me, I felt pleasure and pain. I pushed him immediately and headed back to the counter. He came after me and wanted to know why I stopped him. I muttered words I can’t remember. He smiled on hearing those words and came closer to me. He tried kissing me, again. I emptied a bottle on his head

>>

Dad:” Give me ur Mobile for a Minute..

.

.

Son:” Wait dad, Let me Switch it on..

.

Gf Pic delete, Gals Number list delete,

Phone call Received delete,

Delete, Delete, Delete,

Memory Card Format..

.

. Son:” Here it is..

.

Dad:” Thanx I Just want to see the time..

.

.

Son:” Daaaad.Related

Two fellows from warri named Akpos&Ekene were sitting around
talking one afternoon. After a while Akpos says to Ekene, "If I was to sneak over to your trailer on Saturday and
make love to your wife while you was off huntin',
and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that
make us kin?" Ekene crooked his head sideways for a
minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes
thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he
says, "Well, I Know i will be the one to buy your whole family coffin after killing them all,but becos is gonna be to costly i will kill you alone. #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-21 12:35:41

541 Views



Dark in here [Read it]


A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That`s nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad`s outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "N500."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom`s lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "That`s nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "I`ll tell."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "N10,000."
Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let`s go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can`t. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "N15,000." The father says, "That`s terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I`m going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don`t start that sh*t again."



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-19 07:08:36

1687 Views




Pastor Akpos: Praisssssse the Lord somebody!!!
Congregations: Hallelujaaaaaah!!!!
Pastor Akpos: Next sunday is sowing of seed.
There was murmuring everywhere in the church.
Pastor Akpos: Why all this murmuring?
One church member stood up and said "Pastor, but we have done sowing of seed this year".
Pastor Akpos: yes I know, the one we did before is wet season sowing, so next sunday is dry season seed sowing.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-03 19:39:27

623 Views



Full Bed Bath [Read it]


The nursing student, on her first rotation in the ICU, had to give a patient a full bed bath. She had never given one before and was terribly nervous about it.To make matters worse, the patient was a gentleman in his late sixties who had been admitted after a heart attack. As se nervously set her equipment up, she confessed to the patient that she had never given a full bed bath before.“I’ll tell you what,” he said, “how about if you wash as far down as possible, and as far up as possible, and then I’ll wash possible?”Related

Teacher: What can three men do that two women can’t?

Pappu: Piss in a pot at the same time.Related

question [Read it]


There are 5 birds on a tree, 4 birds decided to fly, how many bird where on the tree..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-29 21:58:30

401 Views




A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage. What did they named them?

They named them as ‘Jo-Jua’, ‘So-Hua’Related

New bycle [Read it]


An engineering student is walking along when a fellow student arrives on a new bicycle. Impressed, he asks, "Where did you get this beautiful bicycle?"

"Well," the second engineering student says, "A couple of days ago I was just walking along when this gorgeous and sexy girl pulls up, hops off the bike, rips off all her clothes, and says 'take what you want'."

The other engineering student nods and says "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-28 09:14:57

94 Views




*PASTOR : good day Doctor.
*DR. AKPOS : good day Sir, please sit down.
Pastor sits....
*PASTOR: yes Doctor, you sent for me..
*DR. AKPOS: yes Sir, its about #Sister_Jane 's Lab result, its out.
Meanwhile, I called you here because I had a chat with her and she
said some things about you.
*PASTOR: #starts_sweating,,, what things? Is she okay? Is she
pregnant? Ah,,, ah,, I mean what's in her Lab result?
*DR. AKPOS: well, Sir, is it true that you're having carnal knowledge of
Sister_Jane?
*PASTOR: Heaven forgive you! How can you level such a
preposterous accusation against a man of God? Is that what she
told you?!! Wait, wait, wait,
are you sure she is not having some brain damage or something?
Talk to me my friend!!!
*DR. AKPOS: sorry Sir, its just that she is HIV 1 & 2 positive and she
said
you've been having carnal knowledge of her...
*PASTOR: #Hands_on_the_head,,, Chineekeee.... please don't say it
loud, walls have ears. Do you mean I'm going to die? Doctor please
help me, I don't want to die, please. I have 6 children in primary
and secondary,,, please help me.
*DR. AKPOS: so you admit you did it, Sir?
*PASTOR: yes Sir, I did it Sir. It's the work of satan, I ,,, I did it Sir...
Please help me, I don't want to die, please Doctor...
*DR. AKPOS: its alright Sir, I will help you, you're not going to die. She
is only three months pregnant and you are responsible.
Congratulations Sir.. At least, it's not HIV.
Pastor faints........ Hehehe...
Describe This Doctor!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-13 22:59:25

1771 Views



jokes [Read it]


Customer:my wife needs a bra but i don't knw d size.
salesgirl:touch my breast and try to calculate.
customerh i forget she needs panties too.

................................A sexy female employee meets her boss and says sir will you remove somting 4rm my breast?.
boss:wow, what?
girl:ur eyes


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-23 08:14:26

992 Views



War Film [Read it]




Akpos, a movie director, was determined to make the greatest war movie ever filmed and the film was to contain the greatest battle scene ever filmed.

“I will use two armies.” he said “They’ll be huge twenty-five thousand extras on each side.”

“But how will we pay off the fifty thousand actors?” murmured his assistant.

“That’s the best part of my plan” replied Akpos. “We’ll use real bullets.”



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-03-27 23:17:57

283 Views




Year after year, his
yield had grown smaller, while
the size of his family had become
larger. Nowm Adesuwa was the eldest
sister of eight boys. All hope
seemed to be on her to get a
good job now that she had left
school so she could support her
parents and brothers, but she was in the village and job
opportunities were limited. Her
only hope now seemed to be to
get married to a rich man and pull
her family out of the mud, but that
was the main thing troubling her mind. She was in love with Osas,
a classmate from secondary
school, and she had hoped to
marry him, but her parents were
arranging her marriage to an old
chief, a man thrice her age, and who she knew she could never
develop any feelings for. Her
mother had told her times without
number that she would grow to
love him, but in her heart, she
didn’t believe that before one second. Her parents were only
interested in her as an economic
commodity to be sold to the
highest bidder, and it didn’t help
matters that Osas was equally *


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Back in those days, there were different
kinds of students, We had...

The NERDS, they were so booky but they never scored high marks.

The NOISE MAKERS, always at the back of
the class cracking your ribs and causing
trouble for the whole class.

That ONE student loved by all the teachers, doesn't read but tops the whole class.

The STUBBORN student who was intelligent but hated by all teachers.

The BEAUTY QUEEN of the class who's always looking out for her cleanliness.

The CLEAN GUYS who got the swag that every other student would like to emulate. The NOSY Students always gossiping.

The CHALK worms, always at the board writing.

The DAYDREAMERS always dreaming when they should be studying.

Also the ONLOOKERS, they don't blend
with anyone, they just look and observe. So where do you belong?
#BOLLY_SHOW ?? ? ? ?™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-18 06:59:04

334 Views



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