Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


An unattempted woman cannot boast of her chastity.

-Michel de MontaigneRelated

Girl:I was scared bcoz it was my first tym doing
it,I just heared people say its painful and he
said 2 me I must open and I opened slowly and
he said I must not be scared,he wont hurt
me,then I opened,he puts it in slowly(ouch). I
felt like I could cry,but I was 2 shy that people
can hear me in the other rooms,he asked that if
it is hurting......But I didn't reply.Tearz were
rolling down and my eyes were closed,he then
removed it and said;:I told u that I won't hurt
u,and I smiled and said;:Thank u Doctor,4
removing this teeth,it really troubled me.Oh! I
knew u were thinking sumthing silly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lolx


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-03 15:16:59

544 Views




Once upon a time there was a bus conductor, who
was very rude to his passengers.
One day a beautiful young girl, of
around 18 years,tried to board the bus,
but he didn't stop the bus.
Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came
under the bus and died on the
spot. Angry passengers took the
conductor to the police station, who in
turn took him to the court.
The judge was not at all impressed with
him and gave him capital punishment. He was
taken to the electrocution
chamber. There was a single chair in the
center of the room . The conductor was
strapped to the chair and high voltage
current was given to him. But to
everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge
decided to set him free, and
he returned to his profession.
A couple of months later, an elderly
gentleman tried to board the bus.
This time the Bus conductor,
remembering his earlier experience stopped the
bus. Unfortunately the
elderly gentleman slipped and died due
to his
injuries. The conductor was taken to the
police station and then to the court, to
the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything
wrong, but considering his
past record the judge decided to set an
example and gave him capital
punishment.
The Bus conductor was again taken to
the same electrocution chamber where there
was a single chair in the center of
the room. He was strapped to the chair
and high voltage current was given to
him.
This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!
The question is why didn't he die on the first
occasion but died instantly the
second time??
Okay........ here is the Answer............
During the first time the conductor was
a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity
didn't pass through him. But during the second
time, he was a good conductor,
so electricity passed through him freely
and he died !!!! Physics never go
wrong....
Don't look at me!! I am also looking for
the Person who sent me this.
Happy weekend to y'all. #B-goF


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-26 18:10:58

331 Views



Sick husband [Read it]


An old man was sick and about to die.

He had been lying on the sick bed for days.

He
suddenly perceived the aroma of his favourite food, jollof rice and
managed to get down from the bed with his last bit of energy and
staggered to the kitchen where his wife was busy preparing the jollof
rice.

He picked up a spoon, and tried to reach for the food, but
was hit across the back of his hand by his wife with the big iron spoon
she was holding.

She said, Leave the jollof rice alone, it is for your burial.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-30 08:15:44

434 Views




Don’t steal, the government hates competition.Related

Glory, with respect of persons. Dont despise
anyone,remember lazarus and the rich man. do
you know tomorrow?He who is great must make
HUMILITY his base;He who is high must make
LOWLINESS his foundation...Every person i have
meet is my superior in some way,in that i learn
from them. DONT forget that a low lying land
drinks its own water and that of other
places...serve all as u go out today.......never
discriminate between people.
HAPPY WEEKEND
#STARRY G.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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akpos nd mother [Read it]


akpos;mother i want my grand ma to die.
mother;my mother will not die is your mother that will die.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-01 23:41:52

585 Views




Banta: Why do we have orgasms?

Santa: How else would we know when to stop?Related

PROMO TIME [Read it]


Promo! Promo!! Promo!!!..e don dey hapun again oooo…. Slap the person beside you and get one free!It is real, i have tried it and i just received mine now.For double or more, Please try it with a policeman or soldier and your life will never remain the same. Hurry now and get yours ,offer valid while stock lasts!!!Pls kindly share your testimony…


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-04 10:57:44

270 Views



Little thief [Read it]


#Laugh_it_off......
A 9-year-old boy stole N500 from his mother's purse, the
mother caught him and gave him serious beating.
The angry mother held the boy's ear and asked him.
Do you know where stealing will take you to? Surprisingly the
boy said Yes, The mother shockingly asked him where?
The boy replied "National Assembly Abuja. #Lolzz...



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-26 20:53:49

403 Views




Episodes:

That awkward moment when Arbaaz Khan realizes that his wife eats Chaini Khaini.Related

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. James, what's the problem?" The mother says, "It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings." The doctor gives Darla a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Darla is pregnant- about 4 months, would be my guess." The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Darla?" Darla replies, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!" The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor?" The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be damned if I'm going to miss it this time!"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-12 20:29:57

428 Views




Please read and judge!
my girlfriend yesterday. I said
to her; Cutie pie I am going to
tell you a story with 4 parts.
Remember
that it is 4 parts o. She said;
Okay. I said, Alright, I am going
to start with part 1. There was
a husband and wife, they were
driving to a camp site when
they came upon
crossroads. The husband said
to the wife, Let us take the left
road. The wife said, I think we
should take the right road. The
husband gave the wife a hot
slap on her
face and asked, Who is driving?
Me or you?
And so they took the left road.
My girlfriend laughed,
Hahahahaha! I said; Now I am
going to tell you part 2. They
got to the camp and the
husband went fishing so that
the wife can cook dinner. He
came back and the wife said,
Good! Now let me cook fish
soup for us to eat. The
husband said, but I want to eat
fried fish. Thewife gave
him a hot slap on his face and
asked, Who is cooking? Me or
you? And so they ended up
drinking fish soup. My
girlfriend
exclaimed, hmm, and laughed,
hahahahaha.
I then said; Now I am going to
tell you part 4. She asked; What
about part 3? Then I gave her a hot
slap on her face and asked;
Who is telling the story? Me or
you?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-03 21:14:52

251 Views




Which task is engaged together by men and women, where men lose their stamina within 10 minutes but women can go on and on?





SHOPPING!

May God bless your dirty mind!Related

African English [Read it]


The following are blunders Africans say everyday...


Thank God for a brown new day!


My God is upsome! 


Why are people so weekend?


Not all that glitters are goats! 


Majority carries the volt.


May your name be highly exhausted.


My waste is paining me.


Thank God for spearing my life.


What is strong with you?


Lord, you are the killer that holds my life.


Please, how much is your age.


Look to the window, the principal just passed away.


I am not priding please.


Lord let your wheel be done.


You can add more in the comment box below...


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-05 11:26:20

207 Views



Appearance [Read it]


Beauty is not measured by outer appearance nd wat cloth we wears, so try going out naked 2moro nd see how people wil admire u.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-03 17:15:54

779 Views




Teacher: Sara if the name of a male fowl is cock what is the name of a female fowl?

Sara: the name of a female fowl is hen.

Teacher: that's good, a round of applause for her pls!

Teacher: alright, johnny if the name of a female dog is bitch, what is the name of a male dog?

Johnny: bastard

what does johnny deserves?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-18 01:30:34

772 Views




Santa was recently hired at an office. His first task was to go out for coffee. Eager to do well his first day on the job, he grabbed a thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.

Santa held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take his order.

“Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?” Santa asked.

The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, “Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me.”

“Oh good!” Santa sighed in relief. “I`ll have three regular and three black.”Related

I was surprised with what just happened and was wondering how on earth Aminat result will be so low to the extent of the school authority giving her advice to withdraw from school. I started thinking about our life together, the life we live, how we started, what we have done together and how i never envisaged it will all come to an end just like that. I tried calling her later in the day but her number was switched off, her ATM card and some other personal belongings were still with me.
I was trying Aminat number for like two weeks and it wasn’t going through at all, to say i was missing her was an understatement, i missed her a lot, no more night out like that, no more sex and romance. Where will i even start from? I have never toasted any lady before in my life so, how will i do it now? I used to visit Bode once in a while and hang out, what i use to do most times is to drink as i don’t have any girls i used to carry along with them.
It was the third week Aminat left Ilorin, i had never stayed two days without sex for almost two years and this is almost three days, i resorted to watching porn and masturbating almost every day but i make sure that it was always when my sister was not around, i had series of porn CD at home kept in my bag that i always slot into my DVD to watch. There was a day i was watching one of my porn DVD, i had just started playing with my deek when NEPA struck, it was so unfortunate that my sister came back from school at that particular time too.
I started thinking how i will remove the CD from player, i thought of staying indoor till when NEPA will restore light and i will be the first to retrieve it then a thought came to my mind and i took the player away from the house under the pretence that i was taking it to electrician for repair. I never allowed my sister to suspect my behaviour, the only prayer i used to pray in her presence was the early morning prayer, i always excuse myself from the room anytime she finish taking her bath, she will go to the toilet with her jalamia on and come back putting it on. As for me, i always go the toilet too with my trouser or three quarter short with a top and come out fully dressed most times.
Masturbation will never and can never be like the real sex, i was seriously missing the boobs sucking, the pusssy sucking and all the kisses. When i couldn’t hold it again, i decided to give ashewo joint a try, have always been hearing about coca-cola road over a long period of time but have never been there before. I decided to give it a try this particular Friday evening, i entered a cab from zanrab to challenge and took a bike from challenge to coca-cola road after Unity roundabout, i asked the bike to drop me at the entrance of the street.
I walked down the street to where there were no houses again, i walked back to the main road, walked back again and again, i noticed there was a house by the entrance of the street where some girls were out in the compound perambulating, i waited across the house looking at things, i thought of going in but the face of the guys there was so strong for my likening. I moved away and walk straight down again and i saw a 3 storey building, the gate to the compound was opened and music was playing there and i saw like two girls standing.
I entered and saw guys drinking on tables put outside there, i looked for empty space but there was none. I saw an entrance by one side and entered the place, there were people there and empty sit too, so i sat down and called a guy to give me two big stout. I was drinking and different girls were coming into the place, roaming up and down, i noticed that guys will call them they will whisper to their ears and off they go, i don’t know where they do go to. I was using style to look at each girl that enters the place until i saw one entered which i believed will be in her early twenties, she walked pass me and i held her hand, she bend down and i whisper to her ear…”how far now babe”, “i Dey” she responded. What next to say is what i don’t know as i still held her hand, i knew she was expecting me to say something but i don’t even know what to say, i guess she sensed i was naive so she sat beside me and whispered to my ear “can we go to my room”? i answered with “sure”.
She held my hand as i stood up and led me to the second floor of the building, she opened the door and what was there was a red light, a bed put on the floor, there was hanger for clothes and two travelling bag on the floor too. She locked the door from behind and said “2k for 30mins, 3k for an hour and if you want me to follow you home its 10k”, follow me home for what i said to myself, i said i will be okay with 30minutes. “oya off your cloth she said”, on my mind i was like “just like that?”.she pull off her cloth and help me unbutton my shirt and lie down on the bed, i was just staring at her “oga oya now, customers are still waiting for me outside”, i pull off my shirt and jean and was left with boxers, i moved to her and wanted to kiss her but she said no, i wanted to suck breast she also said no “oga u dey waste my time oo, which kind thing be this now”, i removed my boxer and wanted to slot my deek inside her “ wetyn u wan do oga? Where your condom? She asked..”condom ke?, i no get ooo” i responded….”ohhh..na you them carry come make you come give me HIV abi, tell them say you no meet me abeg, see condom dey there, carry one wear abeg”
She pointed to where she keep her condoms, i picked one there, tore it with my mouth and i was struggling to wear it on my deek and she collected it from me

Read Episode 44

Absence from whom we love is worse than death.

~ William CowperRelated

best cloth [Read it]


What we need to teach our daughters? there are five (5) main dresses a woman should wear in her lifetime. These are:
1. School uniform
2. Matriculation gown
3. Graduation gown
4. Wedding gown
5. Maternity dress.
Let them realize that-:
That if any girl skips the second dress, she will not get to wear the third one. Our daughters must not rush to wear the fifth dress just because a man has promised them the fourth. More so, the fourth one fits better and more prestigious if worn before the fifth dress. If you choose to circulate this message, it will change the future of our young ladies.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-13 00:21:42

1309 Views



30 TIMES FASTER [Read it]


Akpos Went For a Job Interview... INTERVIEWER: If the Earth rotates 30
times faster, what will happen? AKPOS: We will get our salary everyday.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-22 15:25:42

356 Views




ONE WRONG TURN
Episode 25

I finished my meal hurriedly, Ehis
still wasnt back from the chemist.
I laid back on the bed, and started
typing on my phone again.
I pinged Hannah and Ruth again,
to find out where they were. This
time, it took a while to get any
response. I guess they were really
busy.
A reply came in after five minutes.
It was from Ruth
“we are at meridian hotel”
I have heard a lot about that
hotel, it was one of the busiest
and most expensive in the city. It
had everything, from royal suites
to jacuzzis.
It was like a reclining house for
the creme de lacreme of the
society. If Ruth and Hannah were
there, then a ‘big fish’ must be
involved.
“Who are you with”? I inquired
“One senator like that” ….from
Ruth
It was at this point in my life i
realised the sort of people Ruth
and Hannah were.
My friends were cheap hoes, they
sell their body for money. I
detested their kind of life, but i
have covertly become like them.
I tried to convince myself that i
wasn’t like them, after all i wasn’t
selling my body for money, i was
in love.
The sound of the door handle
turning interrupted my thoughts.
Ehis had returned from the
chemist, he carried a weird smile
on his face.
He locked the door, and sat right
next to me on the bed. We began
a conversation about our
childhood and parents.
I told him how my parents had
prevented me from having any
kind of fun.
He seemed very understanding,
and as usual was full of
encouraging words.
Ehis turned towards me, and
began his usual charade of words
with his soft appealing baritone
voice.
“Ella, you know how much i love
and cherish you. I’m willing to do
anything for you. I ll show you
more love than your parents ever
will”.
His words had the usual effect on
me. I could feel that flutter in my
tommy again. I made no attempt
to resist as his lips touched mine.
I s----d on his lips innocently, i
felt a tension growing within me,
as he began to ran his hands
through my body.
All the muscles in my body
relaxed under his touch, i felt so
weak and vulnerable. I could feel
the wetness again.
I knew what was about to happen
as he began to UnCloth me. I had
neither the strength nor the will to
refuse, i was Unclad before i
realised.
He lowered himself between my
tights. One t----t from him, and i
let out a stiffled scream.
I could feel a lot of pain, it was as
if some flesh was being ripped out
of me. But somewhere between
the pain, i felt something i hadn’t
felt before.
I can’t tell how long it lasted, but
i was glad it was over. The pain
was rather excruciating.
I sat up on the bed, and looked in
between my thights. I noticed
trickles of blood flowing. It was
then it dawned on me, i had lost
my virginity.
A new feeling if sadness and
regret overwhelmed me. I
suddenly wished i hadn’t, I had
lossed something forever.
I looked towards Ehis with, he was
busy putting his clothes back on
looking rather indifferent.
His eyes caught my gaze, he must
have noticed the apprehension on
my face, as he moved closer and
hugged my Unclad flesh.


>>

Bad Dream [Read it]


A boy dreamt dat he died & came back to earth as a chicken.Then he became pregnant & tried 2 lay eggs as a chicken, he pushed & pushed, then he laid 1st egg & shortly afterwards, he laid the 2nd egg, he was pushing hard to lay the 3rd when his room mate screamed "Effo". Wake up! U dey shit for ur bed.....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-10-19 16:34:02

320 Views




I don’t know one Editor in India who is well-read.

~ Khushwant Singh, Outlook IndiaRelated

Four Africans [Read it]


On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is Kenyan, one is South-African, one is Nigerian, and the last one is a Ghanian. The Kenyan walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people!" and jumps off the roof. 


Next, the South-African walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people!" and then he jumps off the roof. 


Next is the Nigerian's turn. The Nigerian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people!" and then throws the Ghanian off the roof.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-15 16:09:21

173 Views




Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.Related

Akpos
wasn't a very
good at spelling.
One day, during
a spelling
exam, the
teacher wrote
the word
"new" on the
blackboard.
"Now," she
asked Akpos,
"what word
would we have
if we placed a
"K" in the
front?"
After thinking
a few seconds,
Akpos said,
"Canoe?"
(K-new)


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-12 17:06:17

287 Views




A senior friend asked me to wait for him in an eatery in Lagos.
So I ordered a meal of about N1,500 (an amount a gentleman can afford).
While eating and waiting, I noticed a man in a flowing apparel (Agbada) walk in.
About 50 seconds later, a man went to this man and told him he
lost his wife and needed money to keep body and soul together.
Immediately, the man gave him a million naira cheque out of pity.
(Wow! I was shocked)
Another man went in crying and saying he lost his father and needed money 4 his
burial, this good and benevolent man gave him a million naira cheque too!
I told myself, "I can't be left out of this Bounty."
I began cooking a story in my mind, a pitiful lie I'll also tell to
receive my own N1 million.
I summoned a little bit of courage and went to where the rich man was sitting.
I told him I lost my grandfather and I needed money. (I was crying
hysterically)While I was expecting this man to open his briefcase and give me a
cheque too, I suddenly heard a noise from behind me,
"CUT!!! CUT!!! CUT!!! MR MAN, YOU CAN'T INTERRUPT OUR FILM."
KAI... E PAIN ME O I NO GO LIE


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-29 11:58:00

9013 Views




I make sure she was carried away before i removed the ring from her hand
Joke: what is that? Where is my ring
Me: This is it..i don’t want you to put it on again for the time we will be in this camp together
Joke: Why?
Me: To the outside world, you are married but to me, i want to always see you on a daily basis like that little girl in her sweet sixteen that is not attached to anybody. I want it to look like this is our first ever relationship, we just broke our virginity today and this is the beginning of a fresh novice relationship……
Joke: Uhmmmmm…you have a sugar coated mouth jhorr but is that what you really wanted?
Me: yes and can you do that for me?
Joke: okay..all for you, no problem baby boy
Me: Thanks baby girl……………….
Joke: uhmmmm..do you know you make me remember my first love, you just brought back a sweet memory into me and am loving every moment of the night, i wish this night wont come to an end
Me: am feeling the same way too baby, i don’t want to say that am loving you because its too early as we just met tonight
Joke: and what if i say i don’t know if am actually in love with you because its been a long time i feel a love like this. The last time i felt like this was when i was still dating my husband and not married
Me: You can always feel happy again baby with me, its all about your mindset and am ready to treat you like a baby…….
Joke: Thanks so much love…
Me: am so much with your lovely structure baby
Joke: i love your stature too and am so so much in love with your deek
Me: what is it with my deek…
Joke: Its so huge, you are naturally endowed down there and your wife will definitely enjoy you, i wish i can interchange it with my husband’s own
Me: o ba wa ti obe bo ni….ole, don’t worry, its yours now and you can do anything you like with it
Joke: Its mine for just a week or so cos i can leave this camp any moment and that will be all about you
Me: You mean you will forget about me after this camp?
Joke: Not me but you or is it not you guys, i heard NYSC relationship always end in camp
Me: Not like this one, i promise you i will build this one beyond this camp and you will definitely be the reason i will visit lagos for the first time
Joke: You mean you have never been to Lagos before?
Me: yes of course, don’t worry i will invite you over one of this days
My phone started ringing again 2guy, where una dey now?”, we are almost there………please lets go, this guy is shouting on phone already, i said.
We got to where they were and mere looking at them it was like there was love in the air already. They asked where we were as they have been waiting for us at mammy for more than 30minutes and had to start going when Ayo was feeling cold, she had to go into their hostel to pick cardigan and come back.

Read Episode 51

PREVIOUSLY ON “AN EVENING WITH EVA”:
“This is code Amber. Gather all Super Agents
and the Tactics team at the Watch Tower. We
meet at 21:00 hours.” – Major General.
“This would only hurt just a little.” – Sophia.
“Welcome agents. Our organization has been
infiltrated. This has never happened before.
The threat has been nullified. However, this is
to warn you that you should be on the alert
now than ever before. There could be others
like her as there is also a more desperate
detective who wants to get behind the
situation. Temporary steps have been taken.
Be on the lookout. As from now, you will
resume normal jobs at various offices
assigned to you. You will find a file under your
pillows when you get home. You would be
contacted if we need you. That will be all.
Super Agents wait behind.” – Major General.
“I am coming home. Okay. I am fine. See you
soon.” – Detective Ahmed
“How may I help you Mr. Ahmed?” – Tawo
“Please doctor, where am I? Where are my
phones? How long have I been here?” –
Detective Ahmed
“You have been poking your nose into
business that is bigger than you. The crash
should have killed you. You are lucky to be
alive. Ï just injected you with a form of
Amnesia virus. When you wake up you will
lose all memory of the past five weeks. I was
never here. Good day Ahmed.” – Tawo
“I’m done. Your turn to move.” – Tawo
“Sean, we need to have a small talk” – Sophia
“I am going to ask only one more time. Where
is Eva?” – Thug
“The mouse is in the hole. Your move.” –
Shina
“Put your hands up. Who are you? Show me
your ID card!” – Guard
“It’s in my bag. Can I get it?” – Ambrose
“I’m done. Pick the exhibits at the mansion.”
– Ambrose
“Evening General.” – Sophia
“Initiate Operation Eva” – Major General.
AND NOW.

>>

Someone asked an old man, “Even after 90 years, you still call your wife &lsquoarling’, ‘Honey’, ‘Love’. What’s the secret?”OLD MAN: I forgot her name 10 years ago and I’m scared 2 ask her.






NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-23 10:18:49

281 Views




Bro paul started drowning spiritually into the ocean of
eunice’s touch. Every moment, bro paul would go on his kneels and cry to God for forgiveness, only to fall back on eunice laps weeks later. His prayer and devotion life began to reduce
drastically to the extent that he hardly read bible as
frequently as before. (That is the power of woman I must say,
behind the downfall of most spiritual leaders are women of
easy virtue who knows how to
manipulate them to get what they wanted).
Paul began to struggle with his spiritual life. He began to hear
strange voices and found it difficult to identify the voice of
the holy spirit from that of the devil, one voice will say “paul!
Paul! Paul!!!, leave that woman alone, she is going to destroy you!!!. Then another one will say,
paul! Paul! Paul!!!, he who finds a wife has found a good thing and obtains favour from ME. Do not loose her because she will make a good wife with her cool and
nice attitude!!”. He loved eunice so much because eunice seems
to posses everything he wanted in a woman, the intimate
intercourse was just the problem with this two lover birds. At one moment, they will pray and cry to
God not to indulge in immorality again. At another moment, they
are both back to the bed. “This must be the devil’s trick” bro paul
thought. He decided to take a great risk that involved his life.
After so many failed attempt to flee immorality, he called eunice into his room one evening, he
went on his kneels and told eunice to do the same. He told
her about his decision to finally quit s-x until marriage, though
eunice wasn’t feeling
comfortable with the decision, she enjoys s-x but she isn’t
ready to loose paul simply because paul is a God fearing man who loves God and also cared for her, eunice believed that she can’t be maltreated by
paul and believed paul will always be there to help in times
of prayers and sacrifices. She
pretended to be cool with the “no more s-x” decision with the
mindset that paul would still fall back on her laps.
Paul held her hands, they both closed their eyes and paul started
praying and crying for
forgiveness. After 15 minutes into the prayer, bro paul made a strong vow to God on behalf of the love birds and he said, “oh
lord, any day WE decided to engage in intimate again, may
WE be strike with leprosy and epilepsy instantly!! AMEN”. Eunice was shocked to the extent that her heart almost burst out of her chest, she removed her hands
and stood up, she refused to say Amen to it and she frowned her face and telling paul how she felt bad because she wasn’t
consulted before making the leprosy vow. Paul walked to her, held her and comforted her, he
made her to see reasons for his vows and promised to be there for her in everything. He made
her realised that the delay in s-x will hasten his urges for it and will help to fast track his marriage preparations. Eunice
thought for a while, she enjoyed love making but she never
wanted to loose paul due to his God fearing and cool headed
attitude. She agreed with paul and they both resumed to
continue the prayers…………TBC #B-goF

>>

Women And Beer [Read it]


Women Can Actually Be Associated With Bottles Of Beer...We Drink And Take Of Both Of Them...Both Of Dem Can Be Very Very Wet...But Beer Still Have Some Lil Advantages Over Women Like:
~ A Bottle Of Beer Is Always Wet But We All No Dat A Woman Is Not~
~ You Can Drink From A Woman Twice Bt U Cant Drink Twice From The Xame Bottle Of Beer~
Dats One Point For The Ladies
~ Beer Is Always Readily Available But Not A Woman~
~ Beer Dont Need To Be Begged But Most Of Our Guys Here Begged Dia Gfs..Guys You Know Wot Am Talkin Abt...
Lil Wonder A Man Prefers To Go Out Nd Drink Instead Of Cumin Home To Dia Wives
Ladies We Need To STEP UP
Dats One Point For The Ladies



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-02 10:46:39

273 Views



Exam day [Read it]


So it was exam times at Akpos' university.Akpos did not read at all.So the exam was to start at 7pm.
Akpos went to the exam venue the night before and took a chair and a desk to his room.He wrote notes all over the chair and the desk.At 4am in the morning,he carried them back and sat reading small small waiting for exam.
The examiner came @7am,Akpos sat relaxed and composed.Before issuing the exam papers the examiner said:Those who are in row 1 move to raw 2 and vice versa.Akpos thought quickly,he swifly move to other raw and came back to the same position.He then smiled and mummered:'no weapon formed against me shall prosper'.
The examiner then continued reshuffling students,he then came to Akpos whom he had pointed to move to another desk but was still stagnated.
The following conversation ensued between them:
Examiner:I said move!
Akpos: No weapon formed against me shall prosper.
Examiner: Better move or wear bullet proof,this one go prosper
Akpos: (moving..)Thunder go strike you,your wicked ooh





NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-12 11:45:24

2089 Views



Funny tenant [Read it]


A man was in a bus traveling. Co-incidentally, his tenant, who owe him two years rent was on the same bus with him. Armed robbers waylaid the bus on the road and ordered everyone to lie down flat. They started searching them one after the other, and collecting their money. As it was about getting to his tenant turn to be searched, the tenant brought out his money and threw it at the landlord who had not been searched, and said, ``Oga landlord, that is the two months rent i have been owing you. I have paid you. Don`t disturb me again o o o o.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-03 08:24:01

1617 Views



who is God? [Read it]


They were two brothers in a neibourhood one named akpos and the other named bovi.bovi is older than akpos and whenever a problem occured they were always involved so one day their mother was told by one of her friends to go and see a catholic priest who disciplined children and she did this and then she agreed with the priest that the youngest should go to see the priest in the morning while the oldest should go in the afternoon, in the morning akpos went there, when he arrived the priest a huge and strict man asked akpos in a big voice "where is God?" akpos became scared then the priest asked again "where is God?" akpos got up and ran home as fast as he could when he arrived he was gasping and breathing heavily when bovi saw him he asked "akpos why are you running like that" akpos answered "God is missing and they think we did it".


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-05 21:27:09

295 Views



MARA episode 22 [Read it]


We watched as she slipped her legs into her shoes and carried one cheap, tattered handbag that she had probably gotten as a gift from a ceremony long ago.
She walked close to the door before turning back.
I was perplexed but pastor’s reassuring smile kept me seated.
“I will be back” she said
“Where are you going…?” I was asking when she cut me short herself.
“To have a chat with God…or isn’t it right?” she asked and I smiled, nodding like an agama lizard.
“It’s right” I said and she opened the door.
“But…” I wanted to say again, seeing how weak she looked.
I didn’t want her to faint on the way.
“And…I don’t want to be followed please” she said with a kind of finality and the door was jammed.
I looked at the pastor and he smiled at me.
“It should be fine” he said but I wasn’t convinced.
If he had used ‘will’, I might have calmed down bit; but ‘should’….ah!
>>>>>>>>
If nothing, I knew about the story of Naomi in the Bible very well
I remembered that story lucidly.
I was taught in our Sunday school class while I was in the orphanage home that Naomi went out full but came back empty!
Of course I remembered so well!Some people suffer so that they will be better equipped to comfort others in their suffering
And what is the difference between us now?
Nothing!
But the fact that she went out full and came back empty while I had been empty all my life!
I had been the real Mara!
But I couldn’t bear it anymore…I had been pushed to the wall!
God had been so unfair!
Oh God!
As I alighted from the bike that brought me to the church- the one my doctor attended- with great difficulty, I faced the motorcyclist and he looked into my face
“Bani kudi” he said, stretching his hand in readiness to collect money.
“Ba kudi dan Allah” I quickly pleaded.
It just dawned on me that i had no dime on me.
He frowned a bit
“Me ne ne?” he was almost getting angry
“Dan Allah, ya ku ri. ka ya kuri” I started apologizing as I turned to go
My feet could barely hold me again.
I was about collapsing
The labor pains had been severe and I had nothing to show for the hours of pains I went through.
The child died!
Tears rushed into my eyes
Why my life was full of shambles and pains and calamities like this, I would appreciate if God could explain to me.
I turned back to see the motorcyclist and he was still there.
He looked puzzled as he held his chest out of perplexity.
What was he looking at so intently?
I turned to look at the back of my blue wrapper and there it was…
Full of blood!
I gasped in shock but I went further
“Sanu” he waved
I smiled
“Muje hospital” he said but I shook my head
Whatever had brought me here should kill me here.
If it was death, it should kill me there
I entered the church and fell t the ground.
I gasped for air for a few number of time before I started dragging myself to the altar side
It was a very big church and so it took me minutes to get to the front.
By the time I got there, I had perspired like a Christmas goat and was gasping for air seriously.
The pain was much for me but I endured even as I gaped in pain as I felt the hot, sticky substance streaming down between my laps
Was I dying?
When one loses blood, it is said that life is being lost.
Was I losing my life too?
But wait…
I could hear the sound of a piano
I listened more as I tried to quiet down my moaning.
Someone on the podium was playing the piano
Could the person not see me?
Could the person not rise up to help
TBC


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at 3 years we say,"mom i love
you".
at 14 years we say,"mom
whatever".
at 16 years we say,"my mom is so
annoiying".
at 18 years we say,"I am leaving
this house!"
at 20 years we say, "mom you
were right"
at 30 years we say,"I want to go
to mom's house"
at 50 years we say,"I don't wanna
lose my mom!"
at 70 years we say,I wish to have
my mom here"
If you love your mom please write
the first letter of your
mom's name
But if you don't love her,just
ingore this post.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-14 14:02:35

190 Views



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