#Adult SMS Jokes Hashtag:


A white man was on a safari in Africa. He saw a black man bathing in a river and noticed the guy was really well-endowed.

In fact, it was hanging below the knees. The white man stared in astonishment.

The black man asked in anger: What’s the matter, does not the white man’s member shrink in cold water?Related

Banta: What is the similarity between doing sex & doing surgery?

Santa: Skill is more important than the instrument…Related

Mr Chu from China & Mr Tiya from Korea came to India & setup a Firm. Till now, they have no Business & are still wondering why their firm: CHUTIYA & CO. failed?Related

What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery guy have in common?
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They can both smell it but they can’t eat it.Related

Fake hair, fake nails, fake b**bs, fake tan, fake smile. Girl, are you sure you weren’t made in China?Related

Santa(after watching a boxing match): Crap, I am disappointed, it’s over in 2 minutes.

Jeeto: Good, now you know how I feel.Related

GRAND INSULT: You’re so ugly, you could practice birth control just by leaving the lights on!Related

*Yahoo chat*

dude_88: What’s your name?

cute_gl: I’m Laura. Yours?

dude_88: Lassun.

cute_gl: Delhi se hun bhenchod! Lassun andar lele!Related

A recent survey confirmed that 87% of the women want to have sex after marriage…

My question is,

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“Where are they?”Related

Cooja, Mooja, Ooja, Kani, Mani, Pani, Mao, Bao, Lao, Zoo, Lo Shoo…
Oh my God! Hope you have not read it! This was the mantra for making your
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DICK smaller!Related

A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum;

A kiss isn’t a kiss, without some tongue.

So open your mouth & close your eyes;

And give your tongue some exercise.Related

Roses are Red

Twitter is Blue

You look bangable

So I’ll follow you!Related

Son: Dad, I want to be like you.

Dad (Feeling Proud): That’s so nice, son. So you want to be an engineer?

Son: No Dad! I, too wanna fuck Deepa aunty… she is so f**king hot!Related

Women should have equal rights to men.
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It would be awesome if women were allowed to walk around with their tops off! :thinking:Related

Santa, unable to satisfy his wife, took Banta’s advice.

While having sex, he asked her: Do u feel any change?

Jeeto: Yes, today u r doing it like BantaRelated

Men are trained since birth:

That’s why their Happiness comes either from boobs or bottles!Related

Suhagrat ke time darvaze pe dastak hoti hai toh dulhan bhag k parde ke peeche chup jati hai.

Husband: Kya hua?

Dulhan: Mujhe laga police ki raid par gai.Related

Q: What’s the closest thing to a woman’s period?

A: Your salary. It comes once a month lasts about 3-4 days and if it doesn’t come everythings fucked.Related

Girlfriend’s father to Pappu, “How dare you took my daughters virginity?”

Pappu: I’m sorry, Sir. It won’t happen again!Related

Q: What is the difference between men and mice?

A: Men run for the pussy and mice run from the pussy.Related

Q: What did the blonde’s mom say to her before the blonde’s date?

A: If you’re not in bed by 12, come home.Related

Jeeto and Santa see a hot girl.

Jeeto: So big, aren’t they?

Santa: Yes!

Jeeto: Are they artificial?

Santa: I think natural.

Jeeto: Earrings and Natural?

Silence…Related

Why is golf called a wrong game?

Coz u hold a stick n put the ball in the hole instead of holding the ball n putting the stick in the hole.Related

Santa: I am all for women’s rights.

Banta: That’s new to me. But still how?

Santa: They actually get a choice between a “School Girl” or a Nurse’s outfit when I’m horny!Related

Banta: When a woman arouses a man and leaves, she is known as a cock- teaser. What is a male called when he does the same to a female?

Santa: A moisturizer.Related

During sex education class:
Teacher: Wat do u call a man who doesn’t use CONDOMS?All students simultaneously shouted:
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DADDY DADDY DADDY !Related

Santa puts in his papers.

Boss: Why are you leaving?

Santa : I have vaginal problems.

Boss : But you’re a man!

Santa: That I am, Sir. But you are a CHOOT!

Happy Boss Day!Related

If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of
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“Buy One Get One Free”!Related

Girlfriend ne Boyfriend ke Shoulder Par Sar Rakh ke Puchha: Tum Mujhe Kab Tak Apne Shoulder Par Sar Rakhne Doge?Boyfriend: Jab Tak Teri Tangen Apne Shoulder Par Rakh Na loon!Related

A boy takes his girlfriend to a restaurant.


Boy: Kya khayegi?


Girlfriend: Jo aap khaoge


Boy: Vagina?


The girlfriend gets angry and slaps the boy.


Boy: Pagal Aurat, I was asking Veg hi na?Related

The trouble with my girl is that she has a weight problem.

Every time I want sex…

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she says, “Wait.”!!Related

Pappu: My girlfriend just texted me saying, “I want you to get me wet when I get home”!
Bunty: That’s cool.

Pappu: Yeah! I’ve got 15 water balloons ready… CAN’T WAIT!Related

Santa: If I sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to cross your mind?

Wife: That you are a homosexual.Related

Santa: Why do prostitutes charge per hour?

Banta: Dunno! Why this question?

Santa: I mean, what are we supposed to do for the other 57 minutes?Related

Santa was sucking, licking, caressing and kissing his own fingers, palm and hand.

Banta: Why this madness?

Santa: Oye, this is foreplay before masturbation!Related

What do you call a group of people where 2 people are thinking of sex and all other are thinking of food and drinks?

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A Wedding!Related

Santa: My new girlfriend really takes my breath away.

Banta: Wow! You lucky bastard. Where did you find her?

Santa: From an online Sex Toys Shop. She’s inflatable!Related

Prostitute: Hi, want to have sex?

Santa: OK! Only if you do it like my wife does.

Prostitute: I can do it in any way. So how does she do it?

Santa: She does it for free.Related

It has been determined that having sex before participating in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete’s abilities.

In fact, men have known and practiced this for centuries.

After sex, they glance at their watches and say, “Oops, gotta run!”Related

In a divorce court Jeeto requested the judge: “Your honor, I want to divorce my husband, Santa.”

“But why?” asked the judge.

Jeeto: Because he is not faithful to me.

Judge: How do you know?

Jeeto: My lord, not a single child resembles him!Related
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