#Hindi Jokes Hashtag:


One of our politicians visited another American politician’s house.

The house was amazing so the Indian politician asked- “itnaa accha ghar kaise?”

American politician : “wo samne bridge dikh rha hai?”

Indian politician : “Haan”

American politician : “10% usme se” :

Then…

American politician visited the indian politician’s house— which was even better.

American : “itna badaa aur awesome ghar! Kaise?”

Indian : “wo samne bridge dikh raha hai?”

American : “Nahi”

Indian : “hahaha..”Related

New Born Baby Slowly Opens It’s

Tiny

Eyes and

Asks Nurse : Why No Lights?

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NURSE : Power Cut !

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BABY : iski maa ki aankh

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abhi b cngress ki hi govt h kya

India me ?..Related

Customer: Tumhari Sweet Ki Shop Hai. Tumhara Khane Ka Mann Ni Karta?


Pappu :-Karta To Hai

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Par Papa Rasgulle Gin K Jate Hai

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Isliye Bas Chus K Rakh Deta Hu…. ????Related

Chief Minister Ne Ek Din Pareshani Ki Halat Mein Apne Secretary Se Puchha.



Chief Minister: “Yaar Jab Se CM Bana Hoon, Meri Maa Ko Hichkiya Bahut Aati Hain”



Secretary: “Ji Sir, State Mein Bijli Jaate Hi Log Aap Ki Maa Ko Hi Yaad Karte Hain“ ????Related

Girl= Janu So Jao Na Dekho Rat Ke 2 Baj Rahy Hain.,



B0y= Neend Nahi Aa Rahi.,



Girl= Jan Q Itna Sochty Ho Mere Bary Mein,

Itna Pyar Karty Ho Mujh Sey.

Main Tumhari Hi To Hoon.,



B0y=

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Oye chal ja apna kam kar Chudail …

Mujhe “PAPER” ki Tension Lagi padhi hai

or tujhe apni Ishaq kiRelated

1 badshah ko 1 ladki pasand aa gayi.
Uss ladki ka baap sunaar tha, badshah ne sunaar ko darbar me
bulaya.
4 din guzarne k baad bhi sunar badshah k darbar me nahi aya toh
badshah ne sunar ko giraftar karne k liye Sipahi bheje.
jab woh Sunar k ghar pahuche to ghar ko Tala laga hua tha,
badshah ne Sipahiyon ko Hukm diya ki Sunaar ko dhundo.
Sipahiyo ne sunar ko har jagah dhunda lekin wo unko kahi nhi mila.
Fir unhone ek tarkeeb nikali aur ailaan kiya ke jo bhi sunaar ko
dhundne me madat karega use 1kg sona diya jayega. Fir bhi sunaar
nahi mila.
Fir ailaan kiya gaya ki jo bhi sunaar ko chupne me madat karega use
sooli pe chadaya jayega. Fir bhi sunaar nahi mila.
Fir 1 mahina guzar gya fir bhi sunar nhi mila
Fir raja ne ailaan kiya ki agar sunar nhi mila toh woh pure rajya ko
saja dega fir bhi sunar nhi mila
Aakhir mei raja ne aas paas ke kahi rajyo ke raja o se madat maangi
Unhone bhi sunar ko apne apne rajya mei dhoonda fir bhi sunar nhi
mila
Aur aakhir sabh siphaiyon ka Sunar ko dhundne me sara Waqt aise
barbad hua jaise Aap ka is message ko padhne me hua…jis ka koi
matlab nhi.
Hasna mat, mere sath bhi aisa huwa tha..
kisi aur ko bhej ke badla le lo!vRelated

*Maths ( Ganit ) Professor to Baccha while solving a Maths Sum*



Professor : Baccha Ye dekho..!!

Aise 8 ko hum 2 se divivde karte hai toh ans milta hai..!!

Samjha?



Baccha: Sir Roko board pe solve kiye huye us Sum ko us se pehle wo chala jaye..!! :O



Professor: Jayega kyu? :/



Baccha: Sir aapne hi bola na.. “Sum Ja” xD



Professor: Pakao mat..!! -_-

Accha 9 divided by 3 kitne huye?

Is Prashan ka Uttar do?



Baccha: Uttar hi kyu?

Mein Dakshin,Purab aur Paschim bhi dunga..!! xD



Professor: Wtf..!!

Kaise Pagal Log hai mere class mein..!! -_-



Baccha: Sir itni si Baat pe Log kyu apply kar rahe ho?



Professor: Toh Anti-Log istemaal karu? :/



Baccha: Aunty log istemaal karega?

Tharki Professor saale..!! xD



Professor: Shutup and Go Stand outside the class..!! :@



Baccha: I always knew i was an ‘OutStanding’ student..!! 8|



Professor: Hmmm..!! -_-

Saale ne acche khaase Integrated dimaag ko Differentiate kar diya..!! :@Related

During Exam…

Madam: Why are you so confused..?


Pappu: *Silent*


Madam: Did you forget your pen…?


Pappu: *Silent*


Madam: Forgot roll no…?


Pappu: *Silent*


Madam: Forgot calculator..?


Pappu: Oye chup kar ja maata..!! Yaha parchi galat subject ki le aya, tujhe pen, pencil ki agg lagi hai..!!!Related

India lost test metch

Becuse

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“Pk”

Is releasing that day.

Sub ne milkar plan banaaya tha anushka

Bhabhi ki film jarur dekhegeRelated

What Is The Height Of Customer Care?



Swiss Banks To Open An ATM In Tihar Jail.Related

Santa Police station ja kar kehta hai: Inspector saab, mujhe ek FIR likhwaani hai.


Inspector: Kaun ho tum, kya hua, aur kiske khilaaf FIR karwaani hai?


Santa: Mujhe phone par jaan se marne ki dhamki mil rahi hai.


Inspector: Kaun de raha hai dhamkiyaan tumko, aur kya bol raha hai?


Santa: BSNL wale, kehte hai bill nahi bhara to kaat denge…!Related

1 Pinjre me kuch Totey 1 Toti ko ched rahe the…

Jabki dusre pinjre me 1 Tota puja aur dusra Tota Namaz pad raha tha,

Maalik ne socha “kitne nek Tote hai, inke pinjre me Toti ki ijjat safe rahegi.”

Usne Toti ko nek Toton k pinjre me daal dia.

Toti k aate hi puja karne wala Tota bola:

“Utho Khan Sahab dua Qubool ho gayi…Related

ek gujrati bhagwan se kehta hai:-hey bhagwan tune ye kaisi zindagi di na paisa,na bachcha,na,na ghar aur ek maa hai woh bhi andhi.

to bhagwan uska dukh dekhke bole:-bachcha thik hai main tumhara ek wish puri kar sakta hoon maango kya maangna hai par yaad rahe ek wish.

to woh aadmi wish karta hai:-main chahata hoon ki mere bunglow me meri bachchon ko meri biwi diamond ke kade pehnate hue meri maa dekhe..smart gujju

dekha ek hi wish me kaise saare wish pure ho gayeRelated

Ladki: Main Kal Tum Se Milne Nahi

Aa

Sakti. . .

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Ladka: Chalo Mai Tumhara

Gift Kisi Or Ko De Deta Hun

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Ladki: Mera Matlab Tha Kal Nahi Aa

Sakti

Abi Kaha Ho Tum ? , me aa rhi hu ????Related

Need a girlfried

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note- mai sirf pyar de skta hu baaki saara kharcha kudi da apnaRelated

COLUMBUS agar married hota to America kabhi discover nahi kar pata. Kyunki tab us se poocha jata:


1. Kahan jaa rahe ho?


3. Kyun Jaa rahe ho?


2. Kiske saath jaa rahe ho?


3. Main bhi chalungi.


4. Wapas kab aaoge?


5. Ghar reh kar hi discover karlo.


6. Mere liye kya laoge?


7. Wapas aate waqt sabji lete aana.


8. Pahunch ke phone karna.


9. Har baar tum hi kyon discover karte ho? Koi aur kyon nahi kar sakta?Related

1 Handsome boy class mein aaya

aur

Sari girls dekhte hi deewani ho gai . ..

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fir

Ladke ne aate hi kuch kaha To girls behosh…

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Socho kya kaha hoga?

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Thodi Jagah Dena, Jhaadu Lagana Hai ???? ????

“HAYE RE BEROZGARI” :’DRelated

Must Read ????



Dhoni: How Famous u r…??

Sir Jadeja : Whole world knows me.

Dhoni: Obama knows u..? Give proof.

Then, Sir & Dhoni went for Obama’s house.

Sir: stand here at the gate, i’ll take Obama in balcony nd show u.

Dhoni: ok.

Sir comes with Obama and waved Dhoni frm balcony.

Aftr sometime, Sir bahar aye

toh

dekha, Dhoni behosh pada tha,

hosh

me aane k baad Sir ne reason

ussay pucha..

Dhoni: Ek American aaya tha,

and

asked me, ‘WHO IS THAT MAN

WITH

‘Sir Jadeja’ IN BALCONY…?Related

Ye 1 darawni kahani hai,

kamjor dil wale ise na pade..!!

Barsat ki 1 raat me 1 budha

aadmi hath me

1kitab bechne ke liye khda tha,

1 aadmi aaya aur usne vo kitab

3000/- mein

kharid li

Budhe aadmi ne kitab de ke kaha:

Jab tk koi musibat na aye kitab ka

LAST PAGE

mat dekna.

Aadmi ne kitab puri pad li lekin

dar ke karan last page nahi khola.

1 din usse raha nahi gaya

aur last page khol ke dekh hi liya

aur sadme se

mar gya..

last page par likha tha..

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MRP-Rs 15/- only!Related

Suna Hai Aapki Ek Muskan Pr Hr Koi Marta Hai,

Zara Time NikaaL Ke Aayiye To.

Ek Chuha Marwana Hai.

Bahut Din Se PareshanKar Rakha Hai.Related

Subtle difference:

Girlfriend: Call karna bcz balance nahi hai.

Friend: Call karna bc balance nahi hai. ????Related

Boy: hey I’m Tiger shroff

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Girl: just fck off!

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Honey singh: arrey wah!

Ye to Mere naye song ke liye lyrics ban gaya!Related

Ladies of 1970s:

Husb: Ek cup Coffee!

Wife: Abhi laee ji.


Ladies of 1980s:

Husb: Ek cup Coffee!

Wife: Abhi laee.


Ladies of 1990s:

Husb: Ek cup Coffee!

Wife: Laa rahi hu.


Ladies of 2000:

Husb: Ek cup Coffee!

Wife: Banake pee le.


Ladies of 2014:

Husb: Ek Cup Coffee!

Wife: Kya kaha?

Husb: Maine kaha, ek cup coffee bana du kya?Related

Din bhar kitna bhi kyun na ghoom

lo ….

sabse hot ladki tabhi dikhegi

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jab gharwalo ke sath bazaar jaoge…!! ????Related

Dosto ki Bhavnaaye..

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EXPRESSION OF HAPPINESS-

1st frnd:”Oye meri gf bangyi,

2nd frnd:”hatt saale jhuta, shakal dekhi hai

apni..

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EXPRESSION OF ANGER:

1st:”Abey saale fir pitt ke aagaya..

2nd:”Abey aankho me dhul chali gayi

varna muh tod deta saale ka..

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EXpression of party in together:

1st:”Aur kamine treat kab de raha hai… ??

2nd:”Kyo tere baap ki shadi hai kya… ??

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EXpression of help..

1st:”Oye yaar zara vaha chaliyo..

2nd:”Pahle bata kuch khilayega kya… ??:O:DRelated

Macchar Marna Hai To “GOOD

KNIGHT” Se

Maro

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..

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..

WARNA ALL-OUT To PAKISTAN BHI HO JATA HAI ???? ????Related

For those girls who say that-

“mere piche to bhot se ladke pade

hai”

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They always should remember that-

“Low price always attract customersRelated

Banta is a teacher and exam ke liye Question Paper banaya…

Paper dekhte hi saare bachche behosh ho gaye… Questions were:


1. ‘China’ kis Desh me hai ?


2. ’15th August’ kis Date ko Aati hai ?


3. ‘Green’ colour kis rang ka Hota hai ?


4. ‘Tamatar’ ko Hindi may kya Bolte hai ?


5. ‘Mumtaz’ ki Qabar main Kon Dafan hai ?Related

”Tere baare me nahi bol rahe Modi”



~ My dad, when Modi talks about talent of Indian youth.Related

Apna Kya Hai Bhai!!

Jo Dost Pyaar Se Daaru Ka Bill Bhar De…..

Bus wahi apne liye “Santaclaus” hai..Related

Before Retirement: Sara desh

Tendulkar ka fan. <3



After Retirement: Desh “Sara

Tendulkar ” ka fan. Thank You Sachin ???? ????Related

Bus Accident

Man Crying: Mera hath kat gaya.

Bahut dard ho raha hai.

Santa: Abey chup baith.

Wo dekh uska gala kat gaya,

Fir bhi chup-chaap pada hai..!!Related

I found a Leaflet in newspaper this morning which read, ‘ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? CALL NOW. WE CAN HELP!!!’

My wife insisted I make a call

I Called up. It Was A Liquor Shop Offer : ‘Buy 3 & Get 1 Free’…

Mere toh khushi ke aansu nikal aayeRelated

Mom : Buy this local company underwear

Me : Mummy Levis ka lena hai

Mom : Kyu kise dikhana hai?

Me : Bhaiya Young India Commander ke de doRelated

Ek aurat apne bachche ko liye ro rahi thi.


Ek vakil ne rone ki wajah puchi, toh us aurat ne kaha ki mera beta bimaar hai or dawa ke liye paise nahin hain.


vakil ne us aurat ko 1000 ka note dia aur kaha ki jao dawa le lo, Rs 100 ka doodh bhi le lena, baaki paise mujhe wapis de dena.


Aurat thodi der baad dawa aur dudh le aayi aur baaki Rs 650 vakil ko wapas kar diye.


vakil khush hua aur sochne laga ke Neki kabhi zaya nahi jati,

Doctor ko fees mil gayi, bachche ko dawa mil gai aur……

mera nakli note bhi chal gaya !!!Related

Sunny Loene at shooting –

Ufff Kitni Gharmi Hai…

Aise Lag Raha Hai Kissi Bade Fan Ke Niche Jaake So Jaau !!!

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Me : Mam, Main Aapka Bahut Bada Fan Hu…!!Related

[Court]
Accused: Main jo bhi kahunga sach kahunga,sach ke siwaye kuch nahi kahunga.

Judge: Go on.

Accused: Sach.

Judge: Aap baizzat bari ho.Related

Tomorrow there will be a Fight between my Teachers.

Guess Why?

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Ans. Because Tomorrow is GURU WAR.(Thursday) xDRelated

*watching discovery Channel when with

parents*

*hears words like “Nar” aur “Maada” back to back*

*searches for remote like a Ninja & changes the

channel*

-,- -,-Related

Ek Ladka Naukri Ki Talaash Mein Shehar Mein Aa To Gaya Lekin Use Rahne Ke Liye Kamara Nahi Mila

Thak Haar Ke Wo Kisi Ke Darwaje Ke Aage Baith Gaya,

Thodi Der Baad Ek Ladki Bahar Aayi. Usne Us Ladke Ki Story Suni Aur Uspar Taras Kha Ke Apne Hi Room Mein Rahne Ko Kaha, Ladka Maan Gaya.

Ladka Aur Ladki Dono Ek Hi Kamre Mein Ek Hi Bed Par Beech Mein Takiya Laga Kar Soote The. Kaafi Din Tak Wo Ek Saath Hi Rehte Rahe.

Ek Din Ladka Raat Ko Apni Job Se Late Aaya Aur Darwaaja Khatkaya Par Ladki Ne Nahi Khola.

Ladke Ne Darwaja Zor Se Se Khatkaya Par Andar Se Koi Jawaab Nahi Aaya.

Ladka Gusse Mein Aakar: “Darwaja Kholti Hai Ya Deewar Kood Ke Aau?”

Ladki Ne Andar Se Awaaz Lagai: “Abe Sale Rahne De, Tere Se Aaj Tak Ek Takiya To Kooda Nahi Gaya Aur Baat Karta Hai Deewar Koodne Ki.”

Moral Of The Story: “Jyada Shareef Ban Ke Bhi Koi Fayada Nahi Hota.“ ???? ????Related
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