#SMS Jokes Hashtag:


Man: “I’ll have a rum and coke”

Waiter: “Is pepsi ok?”

Man: “Sure whatever”

*Waiter hands you a pepsi and coke*Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

Santa: Women are like microwaves.

Banta: How? Because they cook food?

Santa: No. Because they are hazardous to our health.Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?

A: Because they advertised `free delivery`Related

Maths and Women are the two most complicated things in this world;
But









Maths, at least has LOGIC!Related

A programmer was smoking (?_?_?_?(?_?_?_ ?_?_?_?_?_??_?( )??~A Lady said,”Can’t you see the warning! Smoking is injurious to health!”.
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He replied “We bother only about ‘ERRORS’ not ‘WARNINGS’!!!Related

Me: siri tell me a joke.

*Siri turns on front camera*Related

Valentines Day is over.

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Results will be declared on 14 November!Related

A doctor was really pissed off by the constant visits of Jeeto who wanted to lose some of her excess weight. She never showed any results as she couldn’t diet or follow the exercise plan.

Jeeto: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?

Doctor: Cut your head off.Related

During a recent password audit, it was found that Santa was using the following password on his office desktop system:

BittuPappuLuckyHappySonuPinkyRaniGuddi

Office Aministrator: Why such a long password?

Santa: Because the policy states that it has to be at least 8 characters long.Related

Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from
NASA to SATYANASA.Related

“Mum”, said the son to his ageing blonde mother, “When you go, do you want to be buried or cremated?”

“I don’t mind”, replied the mother. “Surprise me!”Related

Teacher to Pappu: If both of your parents were born in 1965, how old would they say they are now?


Pappu: That depends.


Teacher: It does? Depends on what?


Pappu: On if you ask my father or my mother!Related

Banta: Are you going to attend the boss’ funeral?

Santa: Oh No! I’m working today. My motto is business before pleasure.Related

Meanwhile in Punjab:

Doctor: Yeh Goli ‘Tongue’ ke Niche Rakhna.

Santa: Kehdi Tang, Left ya Right?Related

If

Gin

Rum

Vodka

Tequila and

Whiskey

are called Spirits; then all my friends are Spiritual!Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

Did you hear about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her!Related

The new disaster training code:


Whenever Asaram says HARI OM, the female devotees should HURRY HOME!Related

The past of eat is ate and the future of ate is…

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Weight.

And the most funny part is that people realise it when its TOO LATE!Related

Banta: Did you hear the news? Anil drank so much, his wife left him!

Santa: Bartender! Give me six large, on the rocks!Related

American Lifestyle:

Daughter: Sorry Dad, I got married yesterday. Forgot to invite you.

Dad: You naughty girl! It’s OK but don’t forget me next time!Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

Dear Politician,

This is just to inform you that i am also available in the colour white.


Sincerely,

Black Money!Related

Notice in a Punjab Roadways Bus:


Eve teasing is an offense. Passengers are requested to cooperate.Related

Sometimes when you cry, no one sees your tears.

Sometimes when you are worried, no one sees your pain.

Sometimes when you are happy, no one sees your smile.

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But fart just once…Related

Santa: Dr, I think I need glasses.

Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank!Related

Pappu: Ma’m, I want to go to the toilet.

Teacher: I want to hear A-Z from you before I let you go.

Pappu: ABCDEFGHIJKLMN_ _QRS_UVWX_Z!

Teacher: Where is P, O, T, Y?

Pappu: In my shorts.Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

Santa: A friend of mine had an arguement with his wife so they decided to flip a coin to choose a name for their new son.

Banta: So what exactly did they name him?

Santa: Tails!Related

Girls are like domain names, the ones I like are already takenRelated

Santa: The recruitment consultant asked me ‘What do you think of voluntary work?

Banta: So what was your reply?

Santa: I said, “I wouldn’t do it if you paid me.”Related

Three generations of Bachchans – BigB, WannaB, and now BayB.Related

Judge: Do you accept that you stole the money from him?

Pathan: No sir, he only gave it to me.

Judge: When did he give it you?

Pathan: When I showed him the knife.Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

Google took my memory. Twitter my friends and now spell check is busy f**king my spellings!Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related
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