ENGLISH BRAIN BUSTER [Read it]
All of you will miss this.. Let's see that
will get this right
One rabbit saw six elephants while going to
the river. Every elephant saw two
towards the river holding one parrot in
Question: How many animals are going
think before you answer.....
Happy Valentine’s da …. [Read it]
Happy Valentine’s day to everyone!
Whether you have a Valentine or not,
someone out there loves you,
So be happy & stay cool!Related
While out one mornin …. [Read it]
While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball. Seeing no one around that it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts.
Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change.
A girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. “What’s that?” she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust.
“Tennis ball,” came the breathless reply.
“Oh,” said the girl sympathetically, “that must be painful. I had tennis elbow once.”Related
My brains shut dead, my hands trembled and whole body quaked.
A very cold hot wave surged through me, the whole scenario was spinning around me. I rushed off into my room, slipped into a black body hug shirt and jean trousers.
I tore into Papa’s compound in full speed immediately effiong opened the gate watching him through the side mirror carry his hand on his head, his gazed fixed on the shimmering chases of my silver lexus jeep.
Yanked myself out of the car, walking briskly into the house, face straight and fingers clenched.
My whole face was already dripping with sweat, my eyes shot red.
I literally kicked the door open peering into the sitting room to be met with empty cushions and the t.v showing some very annoying music on channel O.
The house was silent and strangely cold chilly air filled it.
I rushed into Papa’s room, his room was empty.
Getting to Amanda’s room i pushed and it was locked, my fist furiously unleashed series of bangs on it in the form of knocking.
Ryan’s voice shrieked as he jolted into a sudden cry.
“Who dah hell is that” Amanda’s voice barked “You just woke my son from sleep”.
“Open the door now” I couldn’t mask my voice into a wrap of gentility, every iota of sanity has jumped off the window.
The door cracked open, Amanda wedged herself into the little space it made stopping me from seeing the full view of the room.
“Yes what is it” She retorted looking me squarely in the face with a scoffing smirk.
“How could you be so wicked? How could you lie against me to my fiancee’s parents that i am Ryan’s father!!!” I yelled, my voice shook as i stressed the word ‘father’.
Amanda gave out a loud giggle. “Did i hear you say lie?, Oh sweetheart it wasn’t a lie. Ryan is your son” She said smiling.
I lost my vocal cord, i tried to speak but the words stuck at the back of my throat choking me, my eyes widened as i looked on at amanda.
“Sky listen to me, you are the father of my child, and you won’t throw me off to the trash like that, you messed with the wrong girl” Her pointed fore- finger was touching my chest as she spoke with every iota of impetus one can imagine.
“You are a devil Amanda” I finally found my voice which still was shaky.
“Oh, now you know yet this devil has a son for you, we are only starting sky”
I landed a slap across her face before she could finish those words making her fall back into the room with a clash.
I thundered the door open, Ryan already was back to sleep, he lay peacefully on the bed oblivious of what he was causing me.
Amanda sprang to her feet, her face turned red and eyes tight blank.
“How dare you sky, you slapped me because of one cheap thing you picked up from God knows where?” She yelled with her hands covered the slapped cheek.
Grabbing her by the throat with one of my hands i pushed her against the wall, her hands clenched into tiny blows were landing on mine in a bid to free herself.
I tightened my grip on her neck, i’ve already lost total control of my senses which was now been piloted by rage.
Fear and tears engulfed her eyes, i watched as a tiny lone tear dropped from her eyes which were fixed on me.
“Leave my mummy alone” A tiny silky voice whispered, i looked to the bed Ryan was not there.
Felt some tiny hands clasped around my legs holding it tightly. “Leave my mummy alone” Tears already flowed down his face.
His innocent face and pleading eyes reminded me of an incident that happened when i was his age. I went to the main market with mama, the rush and squeezes of bodies against each other as everyone hurried on their different businesses.
I was in my mama’s arms as she tried to waddle her way past the river of people and accidentally ran into a man carrying a bucket of paint which crashed on the ground and poured away.
Those two resounding slaps he landed on mama’s face even as she was apologizing still tore my heart into pieces but i was helpless then. and up till now i still haven’t forgotten his mean chubby fat face.
I wouldn’t know what i would do if i happen to see him again, though it would be better for him that i dont.
My grip on Amanda’s neck loosened as i watched Ryan whose eyes were fixed on my face and Amanda’s which now ran freely with tears.
“If you spoil my marriage Amanda” I sang to her now fixing my gaze into her face sounding as mean as i never have been.
“I will make life miserable for you i promise you that”
“Sky stop it!!!” That was Jessy’s voice. I turned sharply and saw Jessy standing with Wilson on the door.
I loosed my grip on her and released her. Wilson took hold of me and led me out of the room down to the sitting room, while jessy went over to console Ryan who still had tears in his eyes.
“Where is papa?” I asked Wilson almost as i crashed into a sofa in the sitting room.
“He insisted on honouring the state governors invitation to his house today, he left with Philip”
He said tapping my back a bit.
Wilson had taken the position of a brother to me, and from the lost look of pity and concern in his face buttered into a little smear of confusion, it was obvious he already knew what was going on.
“Sky!!!” Jessy called out making me tilt my head to the direction of her voice seeing her descend from the staircase with Ryan in her arms.
She sat close to me looking at me with, pity looking all over her face.
“Chioma called me, she told me everything” Jessy said casting a sharp look at wilson.
“And sky their is something else” Jessy sang..
“What is it Jessy” I intoned trying to gather my wits.
“Chioma is pregnant” Jessy announced ..
..To Be Continued…
Ajj Titanic Ki 9th A …. [Read it]
Ajj Titanic Ki 9th Anniversary
Isliye Sab Pyar Krnay walo se
Hai K Doob Kar
Mar Jaye…… ????Related
Things on the whole …. [Read it]
Things on the whole are much faster in America; people don’t ‘stand for election’, they ‘run for office.’
~ Jessica MitfordRelated
Check out this love picture [Read it]
Could this be love?
more saliver [Read it]
Ikenna was busy washing his head with saliva while the
lectures was going on when the teacher caught him.
Teacher: Ikenna! What the fuck do you think you are
doing ? why are you washing your head with saliva ?
Ikenna : sorry ma, its just that i overheard my mum last
night telling my dad.to put more saliva on the head that
it will enter. i really like the subject you are teaching and
would want it to enter in my brain but it is not entering
thats why i had to applied the same method my dad
used on my mum last night to see if it would enter.. The
Average speed of eja …. [Read it]
Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour
Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hourRelated
Gift For Girlfriend [Read it]
JONA: I want to buy a gift for my
girlfriend for her birthday but I don't
know what she would like. Give me a
suggestion DAVID: Does she like you? JONA: Yes DAVID Then she would like anything!#BOLLY_SMART ?? ? ? ? ? ??™
Man: “I’ll have …. [Read it]
Man: “I’ll have a rum and coke”
Waiter: “Is pepsi ok?”
Man: “Sure whatever”
*Waiter hands you a pepsi and coke*Related
English Questions [Read it]
Who said that english is easy... fill in this
blank with YES or NO... __________ I don't have a brain. __________ I don't have a sense __________ I am stupid#BOLLY_SHOW ?? ? ? ?™
After 15 years of ma …. [Read it]
After 15 years of marriage the wife asked her husband to describe her.
The husband looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said, “ABCDEFGHIJK.”
“What does that mean?” She asked.
“Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot!!!” he replied.
Wife Smiling asked, “So sweet of you honey. What about IJK?”
He replied, “I’m Just Kidding!”Related
Santa claus vs Father christmas [Read it]
1. Santa comes to you, you go to Father
2. Gifts from Santa are free, you pay for
gifts from Father Xmas.
3. Santa's gifts are properly wrapped,
Father Xmas' gifts are in a nylon bag.
4. Santa rides in the sky, Father Xmas
sits on a chair inside a room or in a hut.
5. Santa is abroad, Father Xmas is in...
You can add yours too.
Barrister Akpors who’s gone to the village
for Xmas celebration went hunting in a
nearby village. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell in to
a farmer’s field on the other side of a
fence. As Barrister Akpors climbed over the
fence, Ekene asked him
what he was doing. He responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, I’m
going in to retrieve it.” Ekene replied, “This is my property, and you are not
coming over here.” Arrogant Akpors said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in this
country, and, if you don’t let me get that
duck, I’ll sue you and take everything!” Ekene smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do
things here. We settle small disagreements
like this with the Three-Kick Rule.” Barrister Akpors asked, “What is the three-Kick Rule?” Ekene the farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then
you kick me three times, and so on, back
and forth, until someone gives up.” Barrister Akpors quickly thought about
the proposed contest and decided that he
could easily take the old Ekene. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly walked up to him. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy
work boot into Akpor’s groin and
dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped Akpors’
nose off his face. Barrister Akpors was flat on his belly
when the Ekene’s third kick to a kidney
nearly caused him to give up. He eventually summoned every bit of his
will and managed to get to his feet and
said, “Okay, Ekene, now it’s my turn.” Ekene smiled and said, “Now, I give up. You can have the duck.#Akpos vs Ekene Episode 3 season 1 #AoN
Don’t get all weird …. [Read it]
Don’t get all weird about getting older. Our age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying us!Related
A white man was on a …. [Read it]
A white man was on a safari in Africa. He saw a black man bathing in a river and noticed the guy was really well-endowed.
In fact, it was hanging below the knees. The white man stared in astonishment.
The black man asked in anger: What’s the matter, does not the white man’s member shrink in cold water?Related
Kid Pappu Apni Maa S …. [Read it]
Kid Pappu Apni Maa Se Puchta Hai: “Maa Mein Tumhari Shadi Ke Bad Hi Kyu Paida Hua?”
Maa: “Tumhe Bahar Aane Ka Rasta Nahi Malum Thha, Tumhare Dad Ne Khod Khod Kar Rasta Banaya“Related
The dinosaur [Read it]
KID: Mom! look at my drawing.
MOM: Wow! What a great dinosaur you drew!
KID: Mom don't be ridiculous! That's you!
akpos and his teacher [Read it]
Akpos The Comedian wrote:
Teacher: If a lion is
chasing you, what
would you do?
Akpos : I'd climb a tree.
Teacher: If the lion
climbs a tree?
Akpos : I will jump in
the lake and swim.
Teacher : If the lion also
jumps in the water and
swims after you ?
Akpos : Teacher, are
you on my side or on
the lion's side?
One word for akpos?
PEN EPISODE 1 STORY BY DINDY [Read it]
10 types of guy u should cherish-lol [Read it]
Which guys should you avoid dating? If it’s love
you want, you
won’t find it in these guys. So when you come
across them, just
run the other way lest they heap their issues
#1 The mama’s boy. Have you been wasting
your time dating a
guy who literally can’t do anything without
talking to his mom
first? It’s fine to be close with your family, but if
the guy can’t
seem to make a move without his mommy’s
approval, steer clear!
You should never be made to feel secondary in a
especially if you’re after true love. Think about if
you two were to
have kids, and how many times he’ll have to call
his mom for
help and advice because he doesn’t know what
to do, and he
doesn’t listen to what you have to say because
his ‘mom knows
best.’ True love doesn’t create any competition
or weird feelings.
#2 The musician.Musical guys are awesome.
However, a guy who
seems married to his guitar or to his drum set or
to his band
wouldn’t make for a good boyfriend. They are
constantly on the
road, picking up various gigs here and there,
Do you want to constantly be worrying about all
throwing themselves at your man? And don’t get
me started on
the mood swings when he can’t find the right
note or the right
line to add to his song. You may become his
muse, but his true
love will always be his music.
#3 The brainiac.This is the guy who thinks he
and is always right. This is possibly a nerd who
is obsessed with
some esoteric scientific topic, and it’s hard trying
to even have a
normal conversation. Maybe what you thought
was cute and
unique in the beginning, is now actually just
impossible and a bit
strange, and you realize you do not see yourself
growing old with
someone like him. Think of someone like the
Cooper in The Big Bang Theory, can you imagine
like him? It can be really exhausting.
#4 The comedian. Have you been dating a guy
because you think
he’s funny and he can make you laugh? If so,
what else do you like about him? The problem
with this guy is that
usually they love being the center of attention.
So much so, that if
you go out to eat with a group of friends, you’ll
him standing up, putting on a “performance.”
The worst part is
that there may be times when you want a
but he just inserts a witty one liner that will
completely ruin the
#5 The cheater. There are so many people in
this Universe, and
you have so many options and people to meet,
that you should not
waste a single second with a guy who cheats on
you. You need to
get out there girl, meet and mingle with men
who think before
they act, and who treat you with the respect you
deserve. If you
stay with this guy, you will never have true love,
but you will
have a very broken heart.
#6 The banker and/or real estate dealer. These
guys are full of
empty promises and usually are very good at
telling lies. They
may be able to offer you a good life, but as
quickly as they are
able to put you up, they are just as easily able
to put you down.
These guys are constantly looking for the next
best thing: the next
house to flip, the next stock to invest, and this
means that they
have a habit of looking at relationships the same
way. For your
reference, check out The Wolf of Wall Street.
Sure, you might be
the beautiful mansion today, until a newer, more
comes along. These guys are constantly playing
people what they want to hear, and you are no
exception to their
rules. Their fixation on the next best material
thing can really
take its toll on your relationship.
#7 The Liar. This should be a given. A lie is a lie
is a lie. Just like
a cheater is a cheater. Oftentimes, liars and
cheaters go hand-in-
hand. It doesn't matter if he lies to you about
eating lunch, or
about hanging out with friends, the point is he
still lies. Trust is a
requirement of true love, and you can’t expect to
find it in a guy
who lies through his teeth.
#8 The king of empty promises. This guy should
pitch a tent in
Las Vegas at a poker table because he’s so
good at bluffing. This
is the guy who tells you he loves you very early
on in the
relationship. And he will tell you basically
everything you’ve always wanted to hear. For
example, he will
tell you he wants to have kids with you, that you
two will get
married, and that he’s planning a surprise trip
for you two to
take together soon. And in these moments, you
falling in love with him, until you realize that
none of the things
he’s said he wanted to do have actually
#9 The upgrader. This guy loves having things
handed to him. He
tends to stay in a relationship out of
convenience. If you cook for
him all the time, do his laundry, have sex, why
would he want to
leave? But what happens when a younger, hotter
along? And what if she is totally cool with doing
cooking for him, and hooking up? Why would he
want to stay in
his decent relationship, when he can have one
younger and hotter? You should be with
someone who treats you
the same way you treat them. Don’t be fooled
into thinking you
can earn his love by sacrificing your time for the
sake of his
#10 The mooch. You might as well call this guy
a pirate. This guy
is the one who never has money, can’t ever do
he’s broke. It’s not like he can’t make money,
but he has a
philosophy of “why should I spend my money
when I can spend
someone else’s?” Before you file for bankruptcy
for the sake of
this sorry loser, just run the other way. By doing
this, who knows,
you might make him realize that he needs to
start working to
sustain his lifestyle!
There are tons of men out there who seem like a
great catch, but
then their cover gets blown at the first red flag.
Keep your eyes
open and your mind sharp before these 10 guys
can get a chance
to take advantage of you.
A camel, a cow and a …. [Read it]
A camel, a cow and a donkey were discussing ‘who is best’?
Cow: I give milk.
Camel: I move heavy loads.
What are you waiting for, say something about yourself!Related
Joke part 54 by Dindy [Read it]
JOKE PART 54 BY DINDY
Girl:Which is the first region your eyes would wander to if you were to ever see me naked?.
Dindy: Laughing and crying
Girl: What's so funny?.
Dindy: Laughs more harder still crying.
Girl: What is it na?.
Dindy: Laughing uncontrollably with more tears.
Dindy: You don't have anything that my eyes can see..........
DINDY WROTE THIS
Facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi
Watch out for part 55.
Sand and Stone [Read it]
A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one
friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:
"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE." They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath.
The one, who had been slapped, got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After the friend recovered
from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE."
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on
a stone, why?" The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase
it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it." Learn to write
your hurts in the sand, nd to carve your benifits in stone!
PEN EPISODE 2 STORY BY DINDY [Read it]
THE PEN (EPISODE 2) STORY BY DINDY
Please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission, thank you for reading this story.
I was in that dark cage, for a long time and things seemed to be weird to me. Things were going on around me, but I didn't know what was happening or how it was happening.
I was trapped, in the cage with my kinds. I was in a state where my kinds called "PLACE OF IMPRISONMENT".
I began to get use to staying there because it kept me away from the creatures and the world unknown to me.
A time came and little light shined into the cage, then I felt a downwards movement. The cage was opened and i finally had the chance to see the light in full 3D (real life).
The light didn't look like the light which I saw in the place I came from. This light was more yellowish in colour and big.
I felt heat and my cap (top cover) was hot, when the light touched my whole body for a very long time. Every where was hot for me, Unlike the place where i came from which was at a normal temperature.
I saw many of them (humans), after the cage was opened. They were every where and they all looked different in sharps, sizes, heights, colours and profiles.
As I looked at them, I started to understand little by little that they were the ones who ruled this dimension of the world.
I came to understand that they were our masters, but I didn't still understand why they made us. I didn't understand why they dressed in funny ways and why their bodies were not like ours.
The humans in the place I came from, dressed more in a uniform manner, but the humans there dressed more in disorderliness.
They do things differently, than the place I was made. They even had the ability of speech, but the place I was made, it was only the robots that had the ability of speech (maybe sounds only) --or maybe the humans there had the ability of speech, maybe if I would had stayed longer, I would have seen them speak--.
The place I came from didn't have such space (clear view), but there had so much view that you could see colours. Everything there looked lively, but the place I was made was so --Hi! I can't condemn the place I came from, so I won't say how it was--.
One of the (humans) came to the place where I and my kinds were kept (in the cage). The human pointed at us.
I didn't even know that there was another human right at the back of us sitting, until I saw it (the human) --I guess I didn't notice because I was busy looking at each and every human that passed there, and my mind was praising the surrounding which it saw--.
The human behind collected something from the other human in front. The human behind then picked up one of my kinds, from the cage and gave it to the other human in front.
The human in front removed the cap (top cover) from my kind's head, which really gave me a fright.
It held my kind by its body and used its head to do something on the cage we where in, but my kind didn't release its blood (ink) --Our head is always full of blood (ink), if it's not then it means we are still sleeping or sick or it is the type my kind calls "THE BAD ONES"--.
The human in front starting talking to the human behind, then the human behind took my kind from the human in front and tried to use my kind again.
This time, it (human) shook my kind so hard that it released its blood (ink). I was now really afraid seeing how this so called humans used my kind roughly.
The human behind gave the human in front my kind back, then the human in front put my kind into something green and It (human) walked away.
It kept on ringing in my thought that, it was how we were all gonna be used by the humans, all our life time.
Time after time came and went as my understanding of things around me in the unknown dimension increased by size. I started to understand that the human behind us was not just a human but a seller.
It sells many other stuffs apart from us and it buys too, from companies. I usually see buses and trucks come there time to time and they sell to it (human) in bulk.
I always looked at their lips, trying to figure out the words that come out of their lips. Word like "MAMA", was one common word I noticed to see, in most humans lips that came to where I was to buy things from the human behind us.
--We PENS don't have ears or mouth to hear or speak, but we can see--.
I later learnt that humans actually use us to write, it all happened when i saw a human using my kind to draw something on the cage. I got the opportunity to read its lips and it used the same word "WRITING" like 2 times which made me to fully understand what we were used for.
It was not my first or even fifth time of seeing that word moving on a human's lips, but I really never still understood why they always shook us, which made me wonder whether we were used for writing and other things.
As time went on like a man who was after his wealth and fame, I and some few remaining pens waited and watched for our expected time to be picked or to be misused by a human.
Inside me I was afraid and not sure whether I wanted to be picked by a human, but the other side of me wanted to leave the cage to see other places.
Another side of me wanted to know all about the humans and how they relate in this world.
A part of me prayed to get picked on time, before i fell sick or lost my ability to release blood (ink) .............. To be continue.
STORY BY DINDY AKA NNAMDI
contact me on
Email: [email protected]
Email: [email protected] Facebook: Ossy andy Nnamdi
Skype: [email protected]
plz just advice me [Read it]
Pls friend i need ur advice......... I told my dad
2day dat i won a scholarship 2 read medicine in
UK, he was very happy dat he order my mum 2
slaughter 2 chicken 4 celebration and we popped
champagne, before i knw he sold his car and
collect loan without even telling me , he gave
#200,000 as thanksgiving in church and he even
divorced his second wife, now i' ve been thinking
of how 2 tell him it was April Fool. Friends pls
Today Is My Birthday [Read it]
@all Nairajokers...Today Is My Birthday...Can U All Do Me A Favour By Wishing Me A #Happy Birthday#...Thank U All
banana [Read it]
A lady goes to the doctor and
complains that her husband is
losing interest in sex. The doctor
gives her a pill, but warns her
that it's still experimental. He tells
her to slip it into his mashed
potatoes at dinner, so that night,
she does just that. About a week
later, she’s back at the doctor,
where she says, "Doc, the pill
worked great! I put it in the
potatoes like you said! It wasn't
five minutes later that he jumped
up, raked all the food and dishes
onto the floor, grabbed me,
ripped all my clothes off, and
ravaged me right there on the
table!" The doctor says, "I’m
sorry, we didn’t realize the pill
was that strong! The foundation
will be glad to pay for any
damages." "Nah," she says,
"that's okay. We're never going
back to that restaurant anyway."
oyinbo we knw go grea [Read it]
Oyinbo, na wa for u ooooooo!
U asked us to wear coat under hot sun, we did!
U said we should speak ur language, we
obediently dump ours!
U asked us to tie a rope round our necks (tie) like goats, we obeyed!
U said our ladies should wear dead people's hair instead of the natural ones God gave to them, they obeyed.
U said we should marry just one woman in d midst of plenty damsels,we reluctantly obeyed!
U said our decent gals should wear catapults instead of d conventional pants, they obeyed!
U asked us to use rubber in order to control our birth rate and prevent disease u gave us, we obeyed even when it denied us sweetness of sex.
Now u want our men to sleep with fellow men
AND women with fellow women so dat God would visit us like Sodom and Gommorah!
We say tufiakwa! Mba! Rara ooo! No!
We no go gree with u dis time. If u like keep your aids (assistance).
As Nigerians, we say
One of our politicia …. [Read it]
One of our politicians visited another American politician’s house.
The house was amazing so the Indian politician asked- “itnaa accha ghar kaise?”
American politician : “wo samne bridge dikh rha hai?”
Indian politician : “Haan”
American politician : “10% usme se” :
American politician visited the indian politician’s house— which was even better.
American : “itna badaa aur awesome ghar! Kaise?”
Indian : “wo samne bridge dikh raha hai?”
American : “Nahi”
Indian : “hahaha..”Related
The Geographical Map Of A Woman. [Read it]
Between 18 and 20, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half-wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 21 and 30, a woman is like America. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35, she is like India. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, she is like Yugoslavia. Lost the war, haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, Very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia. A glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
After 70, they become like Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
Blind "conductor" [Read it]
i remember the day i entered into a matatu then a person looking lyk the conductor entered and started collecting money.the man had gogles on his eyes and after collecting he got out of the matatu.as we were waiting for balance,we saw the real conductor collecting money.we told him that we gave the first conductor but he just laughed and said that that person was a blind begger and was begging for money.....#thn
Akpos Joke: Formulas [Read it]
In an external examination, the invigilator saw that Akpos had written some mathematical formula on his hands. The following conversation ensued:
Invigilator: Why did you write the formulas on your hand?
AKPOS: My teacher told us that formulas must be at your finger tips
TEN COMMANDMENTS OF LOVE [Read it]
1. You shall not have any other sweetheart apart from me.
2. You shall not have any other lover's image to compare me with in the name of love.
3. You shall not miss use our love by taking advantage of my weaknesses
4. Remember our dates and make them special
5. Honour your father and mother so that our love may live long
6. You shall not kill our love dreams
7. You shall not commit adultery,i hate cheaters
8. You shall not still from me instead tell me your needs
9. You shall not ashame me before people by talking about our personal problems to our friends
10. You shall not covet other people's lovers because of their standard or appearance
That awkward moment …. [Read it]
That awkward moment when your name is ‘Anubhav’, But you end up staying a ‘Virgin’.Related
Before a cat will co …. [Read it]
Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream.
~ T. S. EliotRelated
akpos and his science teacher [Read it]
TEACHER:gm class, today our topic for discussion x gas, so each one of u wl give an example of gas b4 we start. SANDRA: sir, hydrogen gas! TEACHER;gud gal. DESMOND; nitrogen gas! TEACHER; yh gud boy. ROSExygen gas! TEACHER; nice one my gal. AKPOS; '''thinking''' oya! sir tia gas! TEACHER; no boy! ur last chance! AKPOS; sir, fabregas! TEACHER; ivanovic!! stupid boy!! oya! out of the class!!
Extra Satisfaction [Read it]
Akpos came back one day and caught his wife using a dildo (vibrator)
AKPOS: What!! You are cheating on me?!
WIFE: No baby, just an extra satisfaction.
Akpos was confused and angry but he didn't utter a word again. The next day, his wife came back from work very early and caught her husband with their housemaid...
WIFE: What! You are cheating on me?!
AKPOS: No baby, she wanted an extra satisfaction too.
Akpos wife is in the jail, Akpos is dying in the hospital and the housemaid is lying in the mortuary.
chinese hotel [Read it]
I was in a chinese hotel as i was trying to figure out d food am going to eat from d menu,a beautiful damsel came in she demanded for a particular food then i myself demand d same food as the lady did,then after eating d food i went to d girl to thank her for making me to eat such delicious meal in our conversation d lady told me that both snake,frog,centipede and millipede was inside d food i hate immediately i heard those things i fainted.